InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Bravery Without Love ❯ Just Apologize ( Chapter 7 )

Just Apologize

It was a mistake, teaching her self defense. Furthur more, it was a mistake to touch her.

Thousands of sensations came from just that single touch. Sensations that painfully

reminded him of what he had missed out on for months.

"Why do you turn from me?" she asked again, her tiny fingers still clenching his own.

"Are you disgusted by my face?" she demanded.

"Don't ask for answers you won't receive." he finally said and started to pull away but

she held on tighter.

"No, I won't accept that because I know you have an answer. You jerk away every time

I come near, you turn your face whenever I come in the room. You won't meet my eyes

unless I tell you to, just what about me bothers you so much? Who do I remind you of?"

Bulls eye. She had hit the target without even trying. This girl was more intuitive then

most youkai he knew. But she could never know who she reminded him of. Suddenly, he

could feel the old anger again, the helpless anger that he had first held when she came

to the fortress. He didn't owe her any explanations of his past, she was already a piece

of it from just her appearance alone. He twisted his hand out from hers and picked up

the katana on the floor.

"Still no answer Sesshoumaru-sama?" she argued, getting annoyed. He gave no reply

and with a sharp movement, threw the sword near her head. She didn't flinch or

screech, her sapphire eyes grew empty. He had taught her to be too much like him.

"So that is how it will be, I accept the answer you give. I shall continue my sword

lessons from another swordsmaster within the fortress. But this is not finished,

Sesshoumaru, not in the least." she replied stonily.

She picked up her swords and exited the room, the emptiness of her aura leaving the

room feeling more bare than ever. He believed her. She would not leave him be until

she knew the reason behind the regret in his eyes. And undoubtedly she would come

back, demanding for an answer.

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She was angry. The echoes of her footsteps made slaps in the empty air around the

staircase. Her grip on the swords were tight and looked as if she was ready to fling them

away any second. All she had asked was why he had that flinching look in his eyes

whenever he gazed upon her. He had gotten better about it in the past week but it had

come back full force when she had grabbed his hand. She stopped in her tracks. What

had possessed her in the first place, grabbing his hand as if he was an old lover? She

looked down at her pale white hand, still tense from her previous anger. She couldn't

blame him completely for the fight... she had been overly familiar with him. Strangely

enough, she had felt a certain thrill when she had touched him. The exhilerating feel of

the power in his hands, the pulsing evidence of his youkai heritage. At the same time,

she became very aware of her own mortal weaknesses. Never would she be able to

match the strength he had, at least not in her lifetime. Perhaps she had been too

impulsive in her decision. She knew she wouldn't find another swordmaster that could

surpass Sesshoumaru. And would she let one fight, that was partially her fault, to get in

the way of becoming a brave woman and not some cowering girl? Swallow her pride and

go back....or walk away her last chance in gaining some courage? Desire won over

anger, she turned around and slowly made her way back to where she had come from.

The heavy doors were closed, making her heart heavy as well. She stared at the doors,

wondering it this was a good idea. The door gave a creak and she jumped away

instinctively. It opened on it's own and she cautiously stepped inside a dark room, the

gloomy atmosphere darkening the elegance of the quarters. She pushed aside the

hanging curtain a tiny bit to see if he was in the dojo, no luck. Which meant he was out

on his balcony. Taking a deep gulp she stepped outside to find nobody there. Where had

he gone? He couldn't have passed by her on the stairs without her noticing. She leaned

against the balcony's railing and gave an admiring look at the sprawling forest that

spread for miles and miles. In the far distance would be Naraku's castle, though she

couldn't see it she could feel it. The taint of his own greed and evil still made her shiver

in fear, a permanent reminder of those dark days. Weeks of monotony that seemed

endless while covered with a thick layer of dread. Maybe she could call the truce

tomorrow, when there was daylight and more security. She turned around to meet the

glowing amber eyes of Sesshoumaru. She gave a squeak and bumped her back against

the railing.

"Sesshoumaru-sama! Ah...um...um..." All her previous stubborness was gone, replaced

by stammering uncertainty as his eyes held hers in an invisible hold. *Just ask, all you

have to do is apologize for your overfamiliar behavior!* Her mind screamed out, but

her mouth thought otherwise. "Would you happen to have a harp I can use?" She

blurted out quickly, her cheeks tinged pink. She looked down at her feet much as she

would have in Naraku's presence. Old habits die hard. *I blew it, asking for a harp? What

am I thinking? I sound like an imbecile!* She finally lifted her head up to find the

balcony empty, save herself.

"Eh? Sesshoumaru?" She looked around his rooms and his dojo to find it deprived of it's

owner. She felt annoyance as the curtain to the dojo swished behind her. A glittering

object caught her attention and as she walked closer, she found a beautiful harp near

the doors.

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How long was this fight going to last? It had been two long days of waiting and sitting.

And just when was she going to gain the courage to talk to him? She moodily stared at

the harp that stood in the corner of her room. Ancient was the perfect word for it. It

was molded from a beautiful bronze with gold roses melted in and was as high as her

waist. When she played a chord the tuning was perfect, nothing but the best for a

youkai. And for all it's grandness, it was light enough for her to maneuver it around

anywhere by herself. She had yet to play a song for it, still remembering her last harp

master and his words. She was almost afraid to touch the instrument. If she played with

her heart, what would it show? Better yet, what would it sound? She gave a snort of

disgust at herself, first she was afraid to talk to Sesshoumaru, now she was afraid to play

a harmless instrument? What had happened to her? Had she always been this cowardly?

Memories flooded back despite the reluctance of her heart. A tear dropped and she

hastily wiped it away. Naraku, it all happened because of him. She had never feared

anything before, always taking risks and dares just for the pure thrill. He had beaten

every bit of resistence out of her body and poured in fear to replace the fire that had

once flamed inside. She had been broken of her spirit within two months in his castle.

Was it all gone? The bravery she once held now only felt like a faraway dream. The

young, carefree girl had been wiped away, leaving only the shattered hope of ever

regaining her old self back. She sniffed one more time and gave one more wipe at her

eyes, making sure no tears remained. She lugged the harp downstairs, slipping off

towards the fortress's walls. She had seen a small backdoor when being shown around

by Inuyasha. All she needed was a little time to herself. And maybe, maybe if she was

daring enough, play the harp. The door was just where she remembered. Taking a quick

look to the right and left she opened the door and stepped outside. It was trees all

around, packed close together. The effect was sunlight shining in shades of green,

creating a calming look. She walked for a few minutes and stopped in a small clearing

not too far from the wall. It was perfect, solitary and away from humans and youkai

alike. She settled the instrument carefully on a flat rock and sat down, staring at the

harp. She silently berated herself for hesitating and leaned the harp against her

shoulder. She played the music inside her soul and the tune was beyond her as she

concentrated on plucking every feeling. From fear to hope to love. She closed her eyes,

letting everything go into notes of emotions. The tune floated throughout the forest,

quieting even the beautiful songs of the wildlife within till the only thing you could hear

was the gentle song of a heart. It's voice was replete with a passion that silenced

everything else in a soothing lull. She didn't even listen to the notes, her fingers

remembering every string's sound. She just played and played, centering everything

into a harp. Not far off, two pair of ears heard the distant song.

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All voices cleared from his head as his ears perked up to hear...something. He wasn't

too sure what it was, but he waved the talking soldier away and began to follow his ears.

It took him over the wall and through dozens of trees till the song was right before him.

He hid behind a cluster of trees and observed the girl sitting on the rock. Kagome. He

should have known that the girl would eventually go against his demand and come

outside. But his mind shooed away all thoughts as he leaned against a trunk and just

listened. The melody sounded sorrowful, the depth of it's hidden meaning unclear but

not so much that he couldn't guess what it was. It was the song of a forlorn heart. Was it

because of him? Had he done something terribly wrong? *The fight, you baka* His mind

scolded. *You still haven't apologized for losing your temper* Amber eyes closed as he

crossed his arms. The fight, damn, he should have apologized already. It was his fault,

and she had been innocent enough when asking him those questions. Why was he so

averse in saying two simple words? Was it because he feared her reaction? He turned

around and started to go back to the fortress, but the haunting melody didn't leave his

ears.

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Kikyo could hear the harp playing nearby. She had been following the sound for the

past ten minutes and could hear it growing louder and louder. Whoever played was

skilled because every note felt like a pull of emotion, bringing her closer. Sitting upon

the boulder was the young girl that Naraku had been planning on marrying. The

uncanny similarities was made crystal clear as the girl's bent head rose to meet Kikyo's

look. Her eyes widened and her fingers froze as she stared at a woman who could pass

off as her twin. Her mouth opened a little bit, as if she was going to say something.

"Hello. I was wondering if there was a fortress near here, I have been journeying long

and far." Kikyo said softly. Kagome snapped out of her staring daze.

"Yes-yes there is. In fact, I'll show you there myself." She picked up the harp and

motioned Kikyo to follow her.

"I hope I didn't disturb you." Kikyo walked quietly behind.

"It's alright, I wasn't suppose to be outside anyway."

"Oh? Why not? Does the leader not permit you to?" The woman asked curiously.

"You could say I'm under house arrest." Kagome stole a look behind her. "He's not a bad

man, if that's what you're asking. I guess there is good reason for me not being out here,

but I haven't been in the forest for ages. Um, if you don't mind me asking, why are you

looking for the fortress?" Kagome opened the door, not noticing that it had been left a

crack open for her.

"I know the leader." Kikyo replied, her eyes quickly processing everything inside the

walls, just as Kagome had done when she had first arrived here.

"Would you like me to take you to him?" Kagome offered politely. The woman gave a

thankful smile and Kagome felt her heart go out for the woman.

"I'm Higurashi Kagome." She accompanied this with a bow. Kikyo gave a small bow

back.

"Kikyo."

*She's so quiet* Kagome thought as she walked up the stairs to Sesshoumaru's doors. As

usual, the heavy door opened by itself before Kagome could. When they entered, there

was a whip of air as something white zipped towards them. Kagome stepped back to see

the youkai leader embracing Kikyo as if she was the most precious thing in the world.

Kikyo embraced him back, holding tightly at his clothes while tears slid down from her

clenched eyes. A blush stained her white cheeks as Kagome took a step back. She

turned around and ran downstairs, the doors closing with a loud thud.

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*And a HUGE note, this WILL NOT BE A KIK/SESS. Absolutely NO way, I'm just adding it in because it's part of the story's plot. I will try to make as little fluff between them as possible, but just a caution that despite what happens, this will NOT BE A KIK/SESS. other than that, thanks for reading and sorry for the late update. ^^ and for those who are reading my other stories, I've updated all of them as well. unfortunately, I had to take off Trial of the Shikon Guardians because I lost my interest in that story. I thought the plot itself was unique, but I just couldn't think of anyway to get it starting again. Someone else could use the storyline if they want to, I don't mind. But I know I can't think of anything for the story.