InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Breathe ❯ Breathe ( Chapter 1 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Assh 
I do not own Inuyasha nor am I profiting by use of their characters in my fanfic.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Romance / Angst | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 11.08.2005 | Pages: 1 | Words: 449 | Visits: 820 | Status: Completed
I do not own Inuyasha nor am I profiting by use of their characters in my fanfic.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Romance / Angst | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 11.08.2005 | Pages: 1 | Words: 449 | Visits: 820 | Status: Completed
Sometimes I sit down and try to remember all the reasons I shouldn't be here. Why I shouldn't be in your bed. Why I should be at home, safe in my own pink comforter with the Goshinboku slapping its wayward branches against my window panes. A place where instead of a demons claws wrapped around my waist and blood sliding down my raw skin, I'd be warm and surrounded by the feeling of childish happiness that permeates my soul everytime I enter my old home.
But instead I'm here with you. With the man who left me for my sister. The man who sleeps with me only to fill a baser need that cannot be met by a woman of the robes. I am being used I know, but somehow I feel like this is worth the pain that I feel inside. The sex helps me forget all the things I said the night you decided that Kikyo was your true soul mate and that I was just your friend. The way it felt to know that I truly was second best all these years and that nothing had changed. Nothing ever would, I suppose.
And then again, it reminds me of your skin, and the scent of your masculinity and how it seems to stick to me when I leave. It reminds me of the hopes and dreams that I once had, the ones in which we shared a life, love and happiness. Those dreams in which we had small children with your ears and my hair, where we grow old and die together. Where you love me.
I'm crying again. Cyring for things that cannot be and for needs that cannot be met. I'm crying for a future that can never exist so long as you feel the way you do. And a part of me dies inside. Again, and again, pieces of me start to fall from the surface and go beneath this shell I am becoming.
This is death. No, it is worse than death. Death would be a finality in which I would not have to suffer the knowledge that Kikyo is still better than me, more than me, all of me and then some. Death would be welcomed so long as it took this emptiness away.
And then I wake up. And I remember this is all a dream. Your arms are surrounding me, your breath is in my ear, and I calm myself from the nightmare that plagued me for years. My friend, my love, my mate. You are here. You are mine.
And I can breathe clearly again.
But instead I'm here with you. With the man who left me for my sister. The man who sleeps with me only to fill a baser need that cannot be met by a woman of the robes. I am being used I know, but somehow I feel like this is worth the pain that I feel inside. The sex helps me forget all the things I said the night you decided that Kikyo was your true soul mate and that I was just your friend. The way it felt to know that I truly was second best all these years and that nothing had changed. Nothing ever would, I suppose.
And then again, it reminds me of your skin, and the scent of your masculinity and how it seems to stick to me when I leave. It reminds me of the hopes and dreams that I once had, the ones in which we shared a life, love and happiness. Those dreams in which we had small children with your ears and my hair, where we grow old and die together. Where you love me.
I'm crying again. Cyring for things that cannot be and for needs that cannot be met. I'm crying for a future that can never exist so long as you feel the way you do. And a part of me dies inside. Again, and again, pieces of me start to fall from the surface and go beneath this shell I am becoming.
This is death. No, it is worse than death. Death would be a finality in which I would not have to suffer the knowledge that Kikyo is still better than me, more than me, all of me and then some. Death would be welcomed so long as it took this emptiness away.
And then I wake up. And I remember this is all a dream. Your arms are surrounding me, your breath is in my ear, and I calm myself from the nightmare that plagued me for years. My friend, my love, my mate. You are here. You are mine.
And I can breathe clearly again.