InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Brief Moments ❯ Needs and Voices ( Chapter 14 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter 14
Needs and Voices
 
Nishi stood and placed the palm of her hands on the small of her back, each resting an inch or so from her spine. Curving her back, she leaned backwards and let her spine stretch. The sun was directly over her head, which made her eyes snap shut. She had already spent the majority of her day on her hands and knees in the dirt of the small garden. Herbs and vegetables needed to be planted while the older members of her family worked in the rice field. She looked down at her younger sisters and sighed. She didn't want to return to the dirt.
 
`I hate planting season. I wish I could be at the river right now with Shippo,' she thought as she looked in the direction of the river. Letting her hands drop to her sides, she wondered, `Where are you? Are you thinking of me, Shippo? I hope I am not a bad person for thinking such things, but I hope you can't forget the last time I kissed you. I want you to think about it so much that it drives you crazy. Maybe then you'll come back to me.'
 
Her thoughts had just ended when she noticed her brother, Gigen, rushing towards her. Without warning, the back of his hand thundered across her cheek. He had hit her so hard that her body had spun in a full circle before hitting the ground.
 
“You selfish little bitch! How could you open your mouth like that? Do you care about anyone but yourself?” He screamed in what seemed on rapid clash of sound.
 
She would have asked him what he was talking about, but she already knew. She tried to move her jaw, which sent pain rippling across her face. Despite the pain, her mouth did work. It was a good sign that told her it hadn't been broken by the blow. With her jaw on fire, she replied, “It must be the talk of the fields by now. I told her the truth. I don't want to marry him. I don't want his filthy hands to touch me.”
 
Unable to control his anger, he bent over and grabbed the front of her kimono. Taking a large lump of it in his hands, he pulled her upwards and extended his hand as if to hit her again. “If it were up to me you would sleep with the animals. You seem to like them better than humans anyway.”
 
“Gigen, let her go now!” Shido commanded, coming to a stop. He was panting as if he had ran the entire distance from the field to the small plot of land next to their hut.
 
Gigen released Nishi and stood to confront his father. As he did so, his father struck him in the same fashion in which he had just struck Nishi. The boy stumbled backwards and lost his footing. He ended up in the dirt as Shido helped Nishi to her feet.
 
Nishi's father examined her cheek as he spoke to Gigen. “You keep forgetting that you are not the head of this family. You will never hit your sister again, any of your sisters. If you do…I'll tie you to one of the horses, and have you dragged through the fields until you remember your place. Do you understand me, boy?”
 
Gigen flew forward to bow at his father's feet. “I will never touch her again. I swear it.”
 
“Nishi, come inside,” Shido said, leading her by the arm.
 
Shido had refused to speak a word until they were inside the hut. He planted himself firmly against the wall as Nishi sat on her knees. She honored him by keeping her head down, and her eyes fixed on the floor, as she waited for him to speak.
 
“You should have told me yourself. The chief personally pulled me from the field to tell me how you rejected his son. I had to beg for his forgiveness, but he is willing to let you change your mind.”
 
“I'm sorry papa, but I don't want to marry Taro. He disgusts me.”
 
“Why do you speak like that? He could make your life more comfortable. Would it be so difficult, if you never had to put your hands in dirt again?”
 
“I would rather spend my life covered in earth, than to let him touch me for one day.”
 
“Nishi, if you don't marry him…I will be forced to disown you. We cannot afford to carry such a disgrace. Gigen is difficult enough to deal with, but this could destroy us.”
 
She closed her eyes and pretended to think it over. In reality, she had already made her decision. She hated Taro. He only wanted her, because so many of the other boys did. He also wanted her for her body. He didn't care about anything else. Why should she be forced to give herself to someone like that? All the young men in the village acted the same way towards her. They wanted her because she was beautiful. Shippo was the only one who had been different. The one person she wanted to give her body to was the only one who wouldn't take it.
 
“Do you honestly think the kitsune wants you for anything other than food?”
 
The question made her look up. The act was over. She was so stunned that he had said it. She couldn't help but look him right in the eyes.
 
“If you do, then go to him. If he is as honest as the hanyou claims, then he will prove his love for you. Tell him that he has to face me before the next full moon with a marriage proposal. If he does not, you will marry Taro-sama without another complaint.”
 
She couldn't speak. His words had not seemed real.
 
“Stop looking at me like that and go get cleaned up. The sooner you find him the better. I want this over with. I'm too old for all this fighting.”
 
Nishi didn't need to be told a second time. She rushed outside to find the water she needed to clean the dirt off, and then dashed back inside to gather things she might need. She was not sure how far Shippo had traveled in the last 24 hours, but she remembered him walking towards Inu Yasha's forest. She knew if she kept walking, she would eventually find him.
 
********
 
Shippo landed with a thud as he fell backwards in the grass. It was a lot to digest, but he finally understood what being a kitsune meant. His head was swimming with the thought of all the power he actually had. However, he was not ready to change. According to the book, he needed to feed from a human to gain the correct amount of power he needed to survive. He had remained in his weaker form for so long because he had not known how to feed properly. Instead, he settled from taking what little energy he could from his surroundings and his friends. This had not been accomplished as a conscious thing. His body had apparently been doing it naturally, without his awareness for years. Learning this fact had been very unsettling to him.
 
“What do I do now?” Shippo whimpered, looking up at 2 birds that were circling in the sky.
 
It was Miroku who answered with, “It looks like you take Nishi up on her offer.”
 
“Miroku!” Sango exclaimed.
 
“What else can he do? If he uses his power he has to feed. He has already started the changes. He can't stop it now. He can't keep feeding from us, because he'll starve to death. The book says he will need an abundant source. That means he can't keep taking a little here and there like he has always done.”
 
Shippo sat up. “Sure, but according to that same book, I can hurt her if I do mate with her. She might not be able to handle my power. And then, there's the danger of it feeling too good. I'm afraid of feeding. I don't want to do it.”
 
“There has to be a way he can feed without hurting her?” Sango said in such a way that it come out sounding like a question.
 
“There is…self-control. He has to learn to use his power. He can't learn if he does not use it!” Miroku snapped at her. As Sango and Shippo sat in silence, Miroku rubbed his temples with his fingers. After a minute of rubbing in a circular motion, he said, “Forgive me Sango, I didn't mean to say it that way.”
 
“You're tired, Miroku. It's ok.” She assured him, while massaging his neck with one hand.
 
“I'm gonna go think,” Shippo announced as he got up and turned his back to them.
 
Miroku closed his eyes and let Sango's hand do its work.
 
“Miroku, you're usually calmer than this. What's wrong? You're so tense.” Sango whispered.
 
“I need you Sango. I've made love to you nearly every night since we've been together. And on the nights that we couldn't make love…you were at least willing to do other things to me. I didn't think it would be this difficult, but it is. I can't tell you how badly I need to touch you.”
 
“That's only because you're a pervert!”
 
“I'm a pervert? You wanted to do them to me! You're just as much of a pervert as I am.”
 
“Ok, we're both perverted. But I can't believe you can't go one night. You slept next to me last night. You were touching me then,” she reminded him and shook her head.
 
He reached around and took her hand from the back of his neck, which through her off balance. He used the awkwardness of the moment to pull her against his body. With his lips right up against hers, he said, “You don't get it. It's not the same.”
 
“Miroku, they can see us,” Sango whispered in a panic.
 
“That's what I mean. You won't let me touch you the way I need to if anyone's around. I'm not talking about making love to you in front of them. I just want to kiss you, and hold you in a way that says I'm your lover.”
 
Sango looked around at their companions. Inu Yasha and Kagome, as well as Kirara, were sleeping. Behind her Jaken was still on his back in the grass whimpering about being left behind. Shippo was several yards in front of her with his back towards them.
 
“Well, I guess we are pretty much alone. I don't now if I can let you kiss me that way when people are watching.”
 
“What if I promise to give you nice innocent little kisses?”
 
“Miroku, you don't do anything that's innocent.”
 
“Can I kiss you anyway? I'll try to be a good boy.”
 
“You're not a good boy either. Maybe you should just kiss me before I come to my senses.”
 
***********
Shippo sat quietly while he scanned the forest for anything that could take his mind off his troubles. However, he was unable to find a decent distraction, and was forced to give into reality. In order to stay in human form, he would need to keep his strength up. This meant that he had to find a food supply that was strong enough to handle the energy drain. Then there was the truth about his power. If he wanted to discover how powerful he was, he needed to use it. That also meant that he would need to feed. Like it or not, he was limited when it came to feeding options: drain the land, drain his friends, drain a stranger, or feed from Nishi. He didn't really like any of the choices that he had before him. Of all the choices, Nishi was at least a willing victim. By choosing to mate, she would get power from him that might help her survive. In the end, Shippo couldn't stand the idea of using her to sustain his power; it seemed wrong. This wasn't what mating meant to Inu Yasha, or even Miroku. The two men he admired most had chosen their mates out of love. He wanted to do the same.
 
Giving in to the weight of an overly burdened mind, Shippo flopped back into the grass and tucked his arms behind his head. He closed his eyes and thought of Nishi. He was seeing her just as she had been the last time he had seen her; with her body pressed against the wall of the small hut. He wanted her so bad at that moment. If Inu Yasha hadn't stopped him, he would've given in to her. He would have felt guilty afterwards, but he would've given in.
 
`What made you try so hard? Was it the power you were feeling, or the sensation? Or do you really love me like you say you do? You didn't look like you could speak when your legs were wrapped around me. If humans can become slaves to the power they get from kitsunes…how do I know you really love me? You could just be enslaved by the effects of my power. I wish I could feel your emotions like Inu Yasha can with Kagome. Maybe that would help me make up my mind. Even hearing your thoughts would be good. I would settle for that.' He took a deep breath and opened his eyes. For a short moment he let himself draw energy from the ground beneath him. `I guess I really can feel it that easy. It's no wonder I have been doing it all this time without thinking about it. It really doesn't take much to do.'
 
Finally, it hit him. The book had mentioned a special link that would exist between kitsunes and their mates. The recollection of the information caused him to sit up. `What if I can read her mind? The book said I could feed from a long distance. I can even use my thoughts to call her to me if I want. So why shouldn't I be able to read her thoughts? It can't take that much energy to do. I can feel the grass with no effort, so I should be able to reach out to her mind just as easy.'
 
He decided that relaxing in the grass would help him in his experiment, just as it had helped him feel the energy of grass. When his body was relaxed, he let himself think of Nishi. With very little effort, he recalled how it felt to be close to her. He was remembering the sensation of being pressed against her, with such accuracy, that he swore he was feeling it all over again.
 
*********
Nishi was making her way into the forest when her body began to tingle. The heat was quickly becoming unbearable, and she was very dizzy. Luckily, her hand found a nearby tree, because she was sure that she was about to fall. As her breathing and pulse began to quicken, an image of Shippo lying in an open patch of grass popped into her mind.
 
“You're calling me aren't you, Shippo? I'm here, please, know I'm here,” she whispered. She pressed her eyes closed and thought of him in the grass. She began to pray that he would find her soon, because the heat that covered her body was making it difficult to remain on her feet.
 
********
 
Shippo's eyes opened wide. In only seconds, he had sprung up and started moving. “She's in the forest? That's her, I know it's her,” he said under his breath.
 
Miroku's eyes were closed as he sat peacefully holding Sango. He was more than content to have Sango leaning against him. His chin was resting on her head, which was pressed against his chest. His arms were wrapped tightly around her shoulders.
 
Shippo's movement had caught Sango's attention. “Miroku, Shippo is running towards the forest!”
 
“What?” he mumbled. He had just gone from restful bliss to sudden panic. His mind was having trouble catching up.
 
“Miroku, we have to go after him!”
 
“But what if Inu Yasha and Kagome wake up? Do you think we should leave them alone? I mean, Karen is still with Sesshoumaru.”
 
They both looked over at Jaken, who was still pouting in the grass.
 
“Ok, one of us stays,” Sango answered. “You can go. I'll stay here.”
 
Miroku stood and looked at Kirara. The cat was sleeping peacefully. Looking back to Sango, he commented, “I don't think Kirara will want to leave you here alone, and I don't think I'll catch him on foot.”
 
They both looked at the double-headed dragon that stood watching them.
 
“Dragon?” Sango asked.
 
“Dragon,” Miroku answered.
 
********
 
Nishi's body was calm again, but she was certain that she should stay were she was. It was like the idea of staying put had been placed in her head, and hadn't been her own thought at all. She was sure that Shippo was coming for her. Without further thought, Nishi resigned herself to taking a seat on a large rock that sat a yard from the tree. In hopes that it would distract her, she removed a few pieces of dried fruit from her bundle and began to eat.
 
Eating, however, only occupied her for so long. She was quickly growing restless. To keep herself from jumping out of her skin, Nishi decided to play a game. She listened to the forest around her and tried to name the sounds that she heard. Time seemed to be standing still as she waited, and her anticipation was getting the better of her. She had to stand. Even if she had to pace back and forth, she had to do something.
 
Then she heard it. Someone was calling out her name from far off in the distance. At first, she thought it was only wind in the trees. Looking up, she discovered that the branches above her were motionless. She heard the voice again. This time she was certain that it was someone calling her name, and voice was getting closer.
 
`It has to be him,' she thought. In her urgent need for it to be him, she stepped forward and wildly looked from side to side.
 
“Shippo! Shippo, I'm at the edge of the forest! Shippo, please, be able to hear me!” She yelled in the loudest voice she could manage.
 
“Nishi, I'm coming.” Shippo called out.
 
She was right. He was coming for her. She wanted to run to him, but she heard his voice in her mind. `Stay where you are and think about me.' He told her.
 
Stunned by the voice in her head, she dropped to her knees and covered her opened mouth with her hand. She closed her eyes and tried to catch her breath as she thought,`That can't be. I heard him in my head…that can't be.'
 
`Yes, it can. Keep thinking of me. It'll help me find you.'
 
She tried to steady her breathing and do as he asked, but hearing his words in her mind was so intimate and frightening. But, in a way, it was more sexual than having his hands on her body. If he can hear my thoughts, then there is no where for me to hide from him. He could have all of me anytime he wants me.' The idea of it sent a shiver over her body.
 
`You really think so? Is that a good thing, or is that a bad thing?' He thought as he stood panting before her.
 
She opened her eyes slowly. She couldn't believe that he was actually there. She had prepared herself for a long trip, yet she had scarcely left the village.
 
“I thought you would've jumped me by now,” he laughed.
 
Without warning, she grabbed his shirt and pulled him down on top of her. His lips hadn't hesitated in attaching themselves to hers.
 
`You always taste so sweet. I love kissing you.' He stopped kissing her and pulled himself back to examine her face. `It's the power isn't it? You are drawn to the power I give off.'
 
She couldn't get her mouth to work, but she shook her head in disagreement.
 
`Use your thoughts, Nishi. If you can't speak, then use your thoughts. I need your mind to tell me if you really do love me or not.'
 
`I do. I love you. I can prove it to you now,' she thought, pulling him back to her lips.
 
He had almost given into the kiss, but stopped himself. This time he decided to pulled way from her completely. Setting up on his knees, he continuing the conversation with his mind, `That's not what I want, Nishi. I can't take sex as proof from you. There are too many things that are making it more complicated than that.'
 
She sat up and looked at her hands, which rested against the top of her thighs. `You don't want me? Why are you the only one who doesn't want me?'
 
`Nishi, look at me.' She looked up at him immediately. The action made him feel like he could control her movements, which worried him all the more. `I want you. You have no idea how much I want you, but I can't do it. Not yet, anyway. You're so willing, Nishi. Why are you so willing?'
 
“Shippo!” Miroku called out. “What is Nishi doing here?”
 
He turned to see Miroku on the back of Inu Yasha's dragon. “It's ok, Miroku. I'm just talking to her.” Then it occurred to him that he didn't know why she was in the forest. He hadn't called to her. He had only reached out and felt her coming to him. His head whirled to face her once more as he formed the question with his mouth, “What are you doing here?”
 
“Papa sent me to find you.”
 
“That doesn't sound right,” Miroku insisted.
 
“Really, he did. I told the chief's wife that I was in love with someone else. I refused the marriage proposal. Papa told me to tell you that you have until the full moon to ask his consent.”
 
Shippo cocked his head to the side and asked innocently, “Consent for what?”
 
“To marry her, Shippo,” Miroku interjected, rolling his eyes.
 
Shippo instantly fell over. He was trying everything he could to breathe. He couldn't talk so he used his mind to scream, `He wants me to marry you?!'
 
Nishi's hands flew over her ears, and her eyes squished shut. `You don't have to. He just said that I had to tell you.'
 
Miroku could tell that something was happening, but he couldn't tell what. “Shippo, what is going on?”
 
“I can read her thoughts. We've been using our minds to talk.”
 
Miroku's head was suddenly throbbing. Placing his fingers at his temples, he groaned, “Am I the only one who can have a normal relationship with a female?”
 
Shippo and Nishi looked up at him with clueless faces.
 
“Nishi, you can give us more details after we get you back to the village,” Miroku commented as he motioned for them to stand.
 
“No, I can't go back. If I go back without a proposal, then I'll have to marry Taro or be disowned!”
 
Fighting the vein that was now popping out of his head, Miroku ordered, “Get up. We're going to the camp!”