InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Bringing Kagome Back ❯ Two ( Chapter 2 )

After much nagging and griping and groaning from the readers (You know who you are), I've begun revising this...three years after my last update. As you may notice, the old chapters are gone. Why? Because changes are being made, and because I lost momentum on the old line of thought. I'm also sick of 'return of the psycho bastard Naraku'. I think This time around the psychotic rapist turd will remain dead, since his bad karma from the last life has made it impossible for him to be reincarnated as anything higher up than a lowly spider. Maybe he'll do some good in that form. Anyways, enjoy.

Oh, and BTW, if you haven't read chapter Zero in awhile, you should re-read it. That too has been reconstructed.

WARNING: This story alludes to rape and contains swearing and violence. If you have issues with any of those things, DO NOT READ. I don't want flamed because someone read this not knowing.

Bringing Kagome Back
By: Demonsaya

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2

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Kagomother always rose with the sun. She was awake an hour before her children rose for school, preparing lunches, reading the newspaper, worked on the budget. She climbed out of bed, showered, dressed, and headed downstairs, only to pause, startled as she entered the living room.

The makeshift bed the hanyou had been using was now occupied by her daughter, who was sleeping, albeit restlessly. He was sleeping in a decidedly uncomfortable looking position, his expression uneasy as well. One of his hands was wrapped around Kagome's gently, while the other had a death grip on the sword at his side. It had been the same for the past two days since Inuyasha had arrived with Kagome. The girl was starting to eat more, but her sleep was still uneasy, and now and then she'd wind up in the bathroom, violently retching into the toilet.

What had stunned the family the most was the behavior of Inuyasha, who had been treating her daughter as though there were no one else in the world. The times when she was sick, he'd hold her hair back, whisper soothingly into her ear. During meals, he would encourage her to eat more, but when she finally said she couldn't eat more, he'd let her stop. He'd been touching her more and more often, in ways that Mrs. Higurashi recognized, even if she hadn't been on the receiving end of those touches in years.

Not since her divorce from Kagome and Souta's father.

She rubbed her neck, watching the pair sleep soundly, while wondering what to do. Inuyasha was in love with her daughter, and she knew that her daughter loved him as well. The girl had told her often enough how deep those feelings ran. But she'd been convinced for so long that he was in love with her previous incarnation. Even Mrs. Higurashi believed that he didn't feel that spark for her daughter that was required for true love. There was affection, friendship, certainly.

But not love.

Not till now.

Idly, she wondered if her daughter realized that the hanyou's feelings for her had deepened well beyond what they had been the last time she'd seen them together. That made her wonder, a bit more anxiously, about what had brought about this change. The change in him, as well as the change in her daughter.

There was no doubt in her mind the two were intrinsically linked.

With a sigh, she decided to let the two continue sleeping until it was time for Kagome to get up. She walked into the kitchen, pondering the situation. It was obvious, to her at least, that Kagome needed Inuyasha nearby in order to sleep. After all, for two mornings now, she'd woken to find the girl curled up on the couch, and Inuyasha sitting on the floor, near her head. It was like he was guarding her. A faint smirk turned up the corners of the older woman's lips as she began to prepare breakfast. “A regular doggoyle...” She muttered, shaking her head.

The previous morning, Inuyasha had walked Kagome to school, wearing merely a hat to hide his most noticeable demon feature, and he hadn't returned. She could only assume that he'd stayed near the school, watching out for her daughter. She shook her head, sighing. She supposed she'd have to find out if there was any way to scrape up the money so the hanyou could attend school as well. How would he respond to being forced into a dress code? How would they hide what he was so that the other students didn't persecute him or worse?

It would take some research.

She heard Souta get up and start his usual cram to get the homework he didn't finish the night before done. A slight smile turned up the corners of her lips. That was something else she'd noticed the day before. While Kagome had been working on her math homework, and stressing because she didn't understand half of it, that dog-eared boy had sat beside her, looked over the chapter, and immediately began showing her how to work out several rather complex equations that even she would have had trouble with.

That boy wasn't stupid, that was for sure.

She wasn't sure if it was his coarse attitude, or his language, but he'd always come across as something of a simpleton. Bitterly sweet and a tad rough around the edges.

Last night, she'd realized that she didn't know nearly as much about Inuyasha as she thought she did.

A weak cry sounded from the living room and she dropped the towel she was holding, hurrying to her daughter's aid. As she left the kitchen, she found she was a bit late.

Inuyasha had woken immediately at the sound of her distress, and presently, she was gathered in a protective embrace, while he stroked her hair, whispering reassurances in her ear. His sleep clouded eyes met hers and she could see he was as haunted as her daughter by whatever had happened. She could see Kagome clinging to him. Her face softened as she watched the two.

“You need to get ready for school, Kagome.” Her mother said gently.

Kagome turned, finding her mother looking at her. At them. She wanted to blush, to feel guilty, but she couldn't. She needed Inuyasha's tender care to give her the strength to deal with being around a bunch of boys she barely knew and didn't trust. A sigh escaped her and she slowly pulled from Inuyasha's soothing embrace, biting her lip. “Okay...” She said softly, walking towards the stairs.

Inuyasha watched her go, his eyes worried. It had been a few days since her last nightmare. He'd woken her from that one, but he'd gotten complacent here, and he'd been sleeping through her distress. Not peacefully, but sleeping still. He promised himself to remain awake that night, so that he could wake her before her dreams became too dark.

Mentally, he cursed himself. It was his damn fault. If he'd been stronger, faster, Kagome wouldn't have gone through that emotional agony. If he hadn't been so easily distracted, if he'd been focused on the one who couldn't really defend herself. The one who was new to this...

He bit his lip, fisting his hands in his hair. “Dammit.” He cursed softly, trying to steady himself. Kagome needed him to be strong. He couldn't fall apart when she needed him. This was his chance to make it better, to help her piece together the shattered life of a girl that had once been fearless, happy, vibrant. What would it take to wipe the fear from her eyes? To ease the pain in her heart?

“I do wish one of you would tell me what happened.”

Her mother's voice caused his head to jerk up, looking at her stern face. He bit his lip, glanging away, feeling a little wary. He should tell her. She had the right to know why her daughter was shattered. But if he told her, Kagome may well hate him.

The woman stared at him, her face turning into a slight frown. “I have the right to know.” She said evenly. “She's my daughter.”

He lifted his gaze slowly. “It's not my place to say.” He said softly. His eyes moved to the stairs and he sighed, looking at the ground. He couldn't live if Kagome hated him. It was bad enough knowing that eventually the girl would be standing on her own feet enough that she would leave him and find some human to take care of her. If she decided she couldn't trust him, she might never heal. He lifted his gaze and saw the mild irritation in her eyes. “Would you break confidence with her?” He asked softly, lowering his gaze to the ground.

“If it was for her own good, yes.” Mrs. Higurashi said, seeing the way his shoulders became tense.

He looked up, gaging her response. There was a flicker of indecision in her eyes. “No, you wouldn't. If she asked you not to tell me something, you wouldn't tell me.” He said calmly. Slowly, he stood, looking the woman directly in the eye. “Not even this.”

When had he become that perceptive? Or had he always been this way, and she'd been too busy seeing the veneer of anger, or annoyance, that she couldn't see this person that rested beneath the hardened exterior. A flicker or realization flashed through her as she looked the boy in the eye. This was who her daughter had fallen in love with. The man beneath the childishness, the arrogance, the anger. The man whose honor and loyalty meant as much to him as his friends, and he would sacrifice none of them.

And she felt a swell of pride that her daughter had found such a man.

“I'm going to make sure she's alright.” He said quietly, his hands having curled into fists during her extended silence. He moved to the stairs, figuring the conversation was over.

She watched as he put his foot on the first step and closed her eyes. “You're right.” She said quietly. “I'm biased, though.” She smiled, opening her eyes, those eyes that were identical to her daughter's. “She's my baby girl.”

He nodded shortly, then climbed the steps. There was sadness in that woman's eyes. Not the heart-wrenching grief he found in Kagome's, but sadness still. At least she hadn't cried. When he reached Kagome's room, he lifted his hand, rapping the door lightly with the back of his hand. “Kagome?”

The door creaked open and he found Kagome wearing the green uniform of her school. Her face was still damp from tears and he reached up, unable to stop himself, gently brushing one that still stood in her eye away. “You okay, wench?” He asked gruffly. It wouldn't do to let her know how he felt for her. She was so scared, so hesitant. And he was a male. There was no way she could be comfortable with him; not after being raped. Then why was she so willing to share his company?

Why did she come down to sleep near him?

Probably because she knew he could never take advantage of her that way. He'd never hurt her.

Her lower lip trembled, but she nodded bravely. “No worse than yesterday, right?” She said, giving him a weak excuse for a smile. She knew it wasn't successful in pacifying him because she saw the way his jaw clenched and an unnameable expression flicker in his eyes. “Don't worry, Inuyasha.”

“Don't say that.” He grumbled, dropping his hand and looking away.

She blinked, confused. His hands were fisted and there was a look of deep frustration in his eyes. “Inuyasha?”

“Don't tell me not to...” He didn't finish, turning an intense gold stare back at her. He pinned her down with his gaze, his eyes fierce. “It's my damn job.”

Her gaze softened and she nodded. “You're right.” She said, meekly. “I shouldn't-”

He rested a hand lightly against her lips, wincing when he saw it tremble, plain as day. It was effective, however, in silencing the girl. He forced himself not to read into the wide-eyed expression on her own face. “You should finish getting ready. From the smell of it, the foods about done...” He turned, dropping his hand. “I'll wait downstairs...”

She caught his wrist before he could leave her. Slowly, that gold gaze returned to her. She wanted to say something, but didn't know what to say. Finally, she released him, her courage sufficiently gone.

He saw the defeated slope to her shoulders and wanted nothing more than to gather her against his chest and hold her, take her pain away. But there was no way he could do that. He would just scare her. “Don't take too long.” He said softly. When she nodded, he walked slowly down the stairs, forcing his gaze to remain in front of him until he heard her door close. Then, he glanced back up, an ache in his heart. “Please get better...” He said quietly. “For all our sakes...”

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School was torture.

Slow torture.

She could still feel the faintest tingle on the back of her neck, the sensation of the short hairs standing on end, but even him being close didn't comfort her as much as it should. She knew that the tingle meant that he would hear her if she screamed. Plain as day, he'd hear her. But it would still take a little time for him to get to her, and she wasn't sure how much of this she could take. Boys flanked her on both sides, and it made her distinctly uncomfortable.

Note to self, she thought, her knees squeezed together tightly. If I'm still this nervous next year, I'll get mom to transfer me into an all girl's school...

She forced herself to take notes, wishing that her skirt was longer, or that there were fewer boys in the class, or that she wasn't a blossoming teenage girl, with a decent figure.

Breakfast had been unusually strained, even for now, and it had rubbed on already raw nerves. She knew she could only keep this from her mother for so long, but she didn't want them to know. She didn't want them to treat her differently. She wanted to be Kagome again.

Lately, she didn't feel like that at all.

She caught a flicker of red and silver down by the front gate of the school and glanced out the window, finding Inuyasha standing there, already waiting. The black and red ball cap was already pulled down over his ears. Her lips turned into a slightly sad smile. If only it hadn't taken this to get Inuyasha to be so kind to her. If only he was here because he wanted to be, rather than because she asked him to be.

Then, maybe she wouldn't be so terrified to tell him how she felt.

She bit her lip, lowering her eyes back to her paper in shame. Like Inuyasha would want her anyways. She was damaged. A broken flower, taken by their arch enemy. He probably couldn't stand being anywhere near her. It was why she'd been bathing so much since it happened. No matter what she did, she could still feel the bastards slimy hands on her, touching parts that she had only wanted touched by the hanyou who waited outside for her. Cruel hands with claws that cut into her skin, wielding a whip that left her back scarred beyond recognition. The man who'd mutilated her, made her ugly.

Made her where no man would want her.

Tears of frustration filled her eyes, but she pushed them back. No, she thought. I wont cry. I have to get better, and I wont get better if I spend the rest of my life dwelling on-

Suddenly, pain ripped through her mind and she clutched her head between her hands. She heard the concerned voices of people asking if she was okay, but all she could feel was the pain of being forced to have sex, her virginity torn from her violently. She curled up, not sure when she'd fallen from her chair, not really caring, because the memories were upon her and all she could feel was fear.

Hands touched her, trying to soothe her, but she fought them, backing herself into a corner, her eyes looking blindly at the people in the classroom. Her entire body writhed in pain, screams torn from her throat, her hands clinging to her arms.

Lips on hers, tongue thrusting into her mouth, teeth violently biting her lips.

The back of a hand striking her face when she refused to kiss him back.

The sound of clothing tearing.

And PAIN...

She opened her mouth, preparing to scream again, when she felt familiar hands gently helping her into a seated position. Her mind became confused, because she could feel two sets of hands on hers, one violent, cruel and another, gentle and caring. A voice whispered gently against her ear.

“Kagome, it's okay, I've got you...”

Inuyasha...

Everything drained out of her and she wrapped her arms tightly around his chest, burying her face into his shirt, sobbing.

Inuyasha took a steadying breath. A glance around him found that everyone in the classroom was stunned. A few of them had bruises forming on their forearms from when they tried to approach her. The teacher was in the front of them, wearing a wary expression. “Call her mother.” He said calmly. “I'm taking her home.” And with that, he slipped one arm under her knees, lifting her gently into his arms. One of the students headed towards the door, and Inuyasha walked that way as well, stepping out into the hallway, ignoring the students that were staring at him and the broken girl he held.

He could hear whispers, and bit his lip fiercely. People would be talking about this tomorrow. When he left the hall, and the school, behind them, he breathed easier. Gently, without thinking, he pressed his lips against her temple. “It's okay, I'm here...” He whispered softly against her hair. She was still clinging to him and crying like her heart was broken.

Needless to say, they drew quite a bit of attention between the school and the Shrine. He supposed they made quite a sight. Someone dressed in feudal garb with pure white hair carrying a school girl who was obviously distraught. He wanted to snort. But he didn't. Instead, he carried the girl up the steps, all the way into the shrine, past grandpa, who was reading the newspaper, then past Mama, who was watching her daytime soap opera's.

Both of them called out to Kagome in concern, but he walked past them, up to her room, gently easing her down onto the bed. He heard people approaching him from behind and ignored them. Gently, he sat on the edge of her bed, tilting her face up. There was a swollen red spot from where she'd hit the floor. “Kagome, what happened?” He asked evenly. He couldn't show too much emotion. He couldn't let her know how terrified he'd been when he'd heard her start screaming.

She shook her head, still not having released his haori from the death grip she had on it. Her eyes were squeezed shut. Everything was still too vivid in her mind. She could still feel it happening on her skin, taste the putrid taste on her tongue. She shuddered, pressing her face further into his chest. “I feel dirty...” She whispered.

He squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his face against the top of her head. Dammit. He felt powerless. Like there was nothing he could do to help her. Like there was nothing that he'd ever be able to do for her ever again. He must be the biggest failure of a protector in the world. He couldn't even keep her from being kidnapped. How was he supposed to protect her from her own mind, when it brought those memories back to the forefront of her delicate psyche.

In the short time since the rape, he'd gotten better at holding her, she noticed, feeling the warmth of his breath in her hair. His arms were tightly around her torso, holding her protectively, as if he was trying to shield her from everything. Her eyes saddened. It was his guilt causing this. He only cared because he thought it was his fault.

He smelled her sadness, her pain. A glance found her grandfather and her mother behind him. “Kagome, I have to tell them.” He felt her tense and gently pushed her back, noting her fingers further tightening their grasp. He searched her eyes and saw the fear in them and bit his lip. “They're your family, they have a right to know.”

She saw her feelings reflected in his and closed her eyes. “I want a bath.” She said quietly.

He nodded. “I'll tell them while you're bathing.” He said softly. When she nodded, he stood, offering his hands, letting her use them to pull them to her feet. He could see that her muscles seemed weak, as though the struggle in the classroom had worn her strength down. He helped her as far of the bathroom, letting her walk inside by herself and waited till the door was shut and locked behind her before he looked up the hall towards her mother and grandfather. “”Let's go downstairs. She shouldn't have to talk about it.” He said quietly.

When they were all gathered around the kitchen table, he bit his lip. “What I said the day we came back, it wasn't a lie. I was distracted from protecting her during a fight. Miroku and Sango were too far away to stop it and Shippou...” He shook his head. “He's just a kit. I got distracted and Kagome...was taken away.” He felt the pain and panic welling in him and he forced himself to take several cleansing breaths. “Kidnapped by Naraku.” He lifted his gaze, his hands fisted on the table.

Mrs. Higurashi frowned. “Go on.”

He dropped his eyes to the table top again. “When...when we finally found her, she'd been gone several days and...Naraku had been torturing her.” He closed his eyes, trying to block out the memories, but they were too fresh. He could still smell her blood, her fear, the scent of Naraku all over her. “He'd beaten her, raped her, she was almost dead.” He wouldn't cry, he wouldn't. He was a man, dammit. “I was fighting Naraku, and I...I heard her scream. We all did. Miroku said...that he'd tried to soothe her. I killed Naraku when I heard it.” He shuddered, lifting his gaze to them. Before he met their gazes, he dropped his eyes again. “I've been taking care of her, keeping her secret ever since. It's been almost a month.”

He felt the tumultuous emotions raging through him and pressed the balls of his hands to his eyes. “It's my fucking fault. If I'd been faster, she wouldn't have been kidnapped in the first place...” His breath tore raggedly from his lungs and he fought to keep control of himself. “If I'd been stronger...”

Two arms wrapped gently around his head in a motherly fashion.

His eyes popped wide open and he whimpered. He was used to the comfort Kagome provided, a quiet, calm comfort, but he'd been denied it for so long. This wasn't the same. It was more like when his own mother had tried to soothe the pain caused by the other children his age. Slowly, he turned his face into the woman's shoulder and began to cry. It was the only thing he could do. Gentle hands stroked his hair and ears and he squeezed his eyes shut, his hands curled into tight fists on the table. “It's my fault...” He whispered, ashamed of himself, of his tears, of the fact that he couldn't protect her.

“Inuyasha, I may not be from that era, but I know a thing or two about ass holes.”

He blinked, sufficiently startled by the mild woman's use of profanity that his tears stopped. He pulled back, looking up at her in confusion. “What?”

“Even if you were stronger or faster, this...Naraku would have found a way eventually to get his hands on Kagome, because she's the jewels protector, right?” the woman continued to gently stroke his head in a motherly manner.

He eyed her warily. “I...”

“Why are you blaming yourself for what a sick, power hungry bastard did?”

“It's my job to protect her! I failed! I failed her! She's mentally broken because I got distracted and I don't know how to fix it!” He yelled, frustrated. Didn't the woman understand?

“She's mentally broken because someone decided to rape and torture her. Obviously, it worked well on you, too.” The woman thumped his head lightly with a fist. “Didn't you ever consider that this might be the very reason that it happened? I'm sure his own demise hadn't quite fit into the plan, but you were supposed to find Kagome, and you were supposed to blame yourself.”

It made a sick kind of sense. It sounded just like something that bastard Naraku would do. Couldn't get Kagome and himself to distrust each other, so he had to break them both instead. And if Naraku hadn't died, the jewel would have been forever tainted by Kagome's fear. As it was, the evil taint hadn't quite disappeared. “That son of a...” He curled his hands into tight fists.

The older man looked at Inuyasha dead in the face. “Why did you come with her through the well?”

That distracted him. “She asked me to.” He said, as though it should have been obvious.

“I gathered that. Why did you come with her through the well?”

He felt cornered, trapped. It would come out eventually anyways. He looked towards the older woman for help, but she wasn't wearing a helpful expression. “She...asked me to.”

“Then why did you agree?”

Kagome appeared at the doorway. “Because he's my friend.” She said quietly. “And because I needed him here.” She sat down beside Inuyasha, seeing his hands fisted tightly and there were slight gouges in the table's surface. She kept her gaze lowered.

“You should be resting.” He chastised, resting a hand on her back, rubbing tender circles on it to relieve the tension he saw there.

She bit her lip. “It's still too fresh.” She looked up at her mother, then to her grandfather. “So, now you know.” She said hopelessly. The motion of Inuyasha's hand on her back, a firm, steady pressure, caused the tight muscles to slowly unwind. She glanced towards him, then looked back at the table.

“If I'd known sooner, I wouldn't have pushed you to go to school so soon.” Her mother said softly. She reached across the hand, resting it on her daughter's. “Why did you tell me?”

Kagome stared at the table top. “I haven't told anyone.” Shes said quietly. “The only reason Inuyasha knows is because he could...smell it.” She shuddered, feeling a bit dirty again. “And I didn't want anyone to know...I didn't want treated any different than I have been.”

The older woman nodded. “Alright, but I heavily encourage you to take tomorrow off from school. Do whatever you want.”

She relaxed. “Thanks, mama.”

“And I suppose, knowing now what happened, and Inuyasha's role, that it's best if he does stay in your room. I imagine the couch isn't particularly comfortable.”

Both teens had the good grace to blush.

“Now scat, both of you, Grandpa and I have to talk, and I need to get dinner started!”

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Kagome spent the rest of the day working on homework, while Inuyasha dozed lightly on her bed. Now and then, her eyes were drawn to his sleeping face and she noticed, for the first time since her ordeal, signs of strain around the corners of his eyes and mouth.

She'd arrived downstairs in time to hear the end of her mother's discussion with the hanyou. Never, not for a single moment, had she considered the psychological effects of what happened to her to everyone else. She was so busy wallowing in grief that she was hurt, how she'd been hurt, that she'd never noticed everyone else was hurting as well.

Inuyasha was suffering right along with her.

He'd sacrificed so much, forced himself to come to an era he wasn't even comfortable in. All because she couldn't deal. He'd set aside his own insecurities, his own emotional issues and had become the rock that she clung to. He'd told a story that hurt him as much as her, just so she wouldn't have to tell it. He'd been acting as an emotional shield.

She abandoned her homework, turning to fully face him as she examined him.

The physical wounds he'd sustained in that final battle had long since faded, but the emotional ones, the ones he hid so well, still hid in his eyes, veiled by concern for her, frustration and anger. Idly, she wondered if Inuyasha had ever felt this guilt that someone would sacrifice so much for them.

She moved to sit beside him on the bed, looking down at his tired face. Her body and mind, the two things that were so terribly raped by Naraku's cruelty, were in a state of constant confusion. So she tuned them out and listened to the one thing that had never lied to her.

Her heart.

Her affection for Inuyasha welled up and she reached forward, gently petting his ears. “You're so strong.” She whispered. “I was never this much help when you were hurting...” She felt him twitch and glanced down, seeing his foot kicking a bit in his sleep. Her eyes softened and a reluctant smile turned up the corners of her lips. “What would I do without you?”

He leaned into the ear rub, slowly stirring from his sleep. He was aware that Kagome was talking to him, but the words didn't make sense to his sleep muddled brain.

“I wish I wasn't so scared. I wish I didn't need to lean on you so hard. Then...maybe I could share some of your burden...”

Fingertips ran lightly across his cheeks and he sighed softly.

“But I'm not strong like you. I'm a coward. I always have been.” She bit her lip, tears filling her eyes. “And just when I was not so scared...just when I was ready to tell you...” A tear rolled down, splashing on his face. “Why? Why did he do this to me?”

He was sent abruptly back into the world of the conscious when her face was suddenly pressed into his shoulder and he reached up, feeling moisture on his cheek. “Kagome...?” He mumbled sleepily. “Wha's wrong?” He asked, resting his hands on her shoulders.

“Why me?” She sobbed softly. She thought he was going to push her away. He couldn't possibly want her hanging on him sobbing like a little twit.

It took some working on his part, but he managed to get into a seated position without dislodging the girl from his chest. When he was upright, he gently pulled her into his lap, wrapping his arms around her torso, trying to soothe her. In his exhausted state, it never occurred that the position might be uncomfortable for her, or the embrace might be unwelcome. He pressed his face into her hair, rocking her back and forth. “It'll be okay...” He said softly, rubbing soothing circles against her back. “I'm here, I'll protect you...” He continued to murmur soothingly against her hair, deeply breathing her scent. After all, he figured he might as well enjoy it now, before his days with her were numbered.

“What about you?” She whispered. She was almost certain that when he stopped moving, he was going to push her away for the implication in that question.

He leaned away from her, tilting her face up gently. “Kagome, what are you talking about?”

“If you're going to protect me, whose going to protect you?” She whispered, refusing to meet his eyes. She kept her eyes focused below his chin, at the place where his yukata crossed over. The boy went oddly silent and she cringed, fearing his temper would explode at the suggestion that he needed protected.

He saw the shy, ashamed expression on her face and his face softened. Tenderly he caressed her cheek, wanting to lean down and teach her how a woman should be kissed. Show her that not every man would mix cruelty with intimacy. He wanted to wipe that fear from her eyes, replace it with love and affection. The things that had once been in her eyes when she looked at him. He wanted to tell her that protecting her was exactly what his heart needed to heal, that seeing her happy would do more than having someone to take care of him. Instead, he forced a cocky smirk on his face and nipped her nose lightly, just a scrape of his teeth against her nose, to draw her attention to his face.

She blinked, looking up at him in shock. He was wearing one of those smirks that turned her knees to jelly.

Thank god she was sitting.

He saw the shocked expression on her face fade to something else and he hooked a finger beneath her chin, forcing her face to remain up, her eyes locked with his. “Let me worry about that.” He said firmly. Her lower lip was trembling and there was an unnameable expression on her face.

For a moment, Kagome thought he was going to kiss her. So did he. Their faces slowly drifted closer, both astutely ignoring the screaming protests in their brains. Their eyes began to close, when suddenly, Kagome's mother sounded out a call for dinner from downstairs.

Remembering themselves, and all the reasons that they should not be doing that hit both of them all at once. Kagome scrambled off of Inuyasha's lap and he scrambled in the opposite direction off the bed. Both were wearing matching blushes and they couldn't quite seem to look at each other.

Kagome bit her lip. It had seemed that Inuyasha had been going to kiss her. She'd been almost certain that he'd been going to kiss her. Why would he want to kiss her? She closed her eyes, taking calming breaths. She couldn't think of any reason. She must still smell like Naraku. But maybe he'd been caught up with how much she looked like Kikyou for a minute.

Maybe he just wanted to kiss her.

Yeah, right. Inuyasha didn't like her like that. He never had. His heart belonged to Kikyou, his life belonged to Kikyou.

She wanted to cry.

Inuyasha smelled her melancholy and looked towards her slowly. She looked like she was going to cry. He felt like an ass. Of course she wouldn't want to kiss him. She'd been violated by a demon. A hanyou. He fisted his hands and took a steadying breath. “Sorry.” He said quietly. He wasn't sure which he was apologizing for. Not kissing her, or trying to kiss her.

She looked towards him and saw that guilt in his eyes and wondered what he'd been thinking. “Yeah, me too.” She said softly, biting her lip. She really wasn't sure what she was apologizing for either.

Another call of 'Dinner' sounded from downstairs and Inuyasha grinned ruefully. “Come on, we should go. Before your grandfather thinks I've eaten you or something.” He opened the door for her, seeing the hesitance on her face. “You wont heal without food, wench.” He said gruffly. It felt forced. It sounded forced, too.

She nodded, a sigh escaping her. Slowly, she walked from the room and headed downstairs. She really didn't feel up to eating. Her thoughts were depressing her and whenever she ate when she felt like this, the food sat in her stomach like a rock. Midway down the stairs, she felt a gentle hand resting on the small of her back, a comfort. The only comfort she could have, evidentially.

What would it take to make him hers?

All he could ever be was her friend. Her protector. The one who kept an eye on her and fought in her stead because she was too weak to fight on her own. He wouldn't let them get any closer. He never had. Now that she was broken and ugly, he had no reason to. Maybe back when she was beautiful, when she smiled, when she was whole. But not now.

He watched her sit, and sighed, taking his place at the table beside her. She'd seemed down ever since the near kiss. Really, ever since he'd woken from his brief nap. God, it had felt good to hold her, even if it was for such a short time. He wanted to be close to her, to be able to hold her and kiss her without fear, without the worry that it was too soon, that the rape was still too fresh in her mind, that she might well push him away, not want him.

After all, what could he offer her?

He had nothing. Not even a name. He wasn't even whole. Neither human nor demon.

Dinner drug on, with the usual niceties that made him want to tear his hair out. He wanted to go through the well and take a run through the forest, breath the fresh air, work himself into a sweat, feel it chill his skin when he finally stopped.

But he couldn't leave Kagome alone.

He had to get out of here for a little while.

Should he bring her with him?

He nixed that idea immediately. Kagome probably wouldn't want to go back to the time where the memories were even more fresh. That meant that he couldn't go. Dammit.

When everyone had finished eating and began to leave the table, he jumped up, feeling very claustrophobic and headed outside, not going farther than GoShinboku. He closed his eyes, feeling the slight breeze on his skin, tugging lightly at his hair. Out here, the air moved. It carried the scents from farther away, let him smell if anyone was coming.

“Inuyasha, are you okay?” Kagome voice floated on the night breeze.

He opened his eyes, looking towards her. He forced a smirk onto his face. “I'll live.” He said quietly. He wanted to touch her, hold her, kiss her. He wanted her to be as much his as he was hers. He watched her walk towards him and saw her frowning a bit. Ah, maybe he was a little too easy to read.

“You were distracted all the way through dinner...” She played with her fingers.

He smirked at the habit that she'd formed recently. Her fingers laced together and pulled apart and laced another way and another and another till he finally grabbed her hands to stop her. It wasn't until she giggled that he realized he'd just done a very Kouga-like move.

He twitched slightly.

She looked up at him, a slight smile on her face, the breeze teasing her hair around her face. She giggled harder when he frowned, adjusting the hold so he didn't look like a complete idiot. “For a moment, I was almost expecting you to ask me to run away with you.”

It was closer to the old Kagome than he'd seen her in ages. The soft tease washed over his ears like sweet music. He didn't have to force this smirk. He bared a fang, leaning towards her. “Oh, would you have said yes if I did?” He teased back. He saw her eyes go wide and knew she hadn't expected something like that.

She blushed, fidgeting a bit, but he wasn't letting her go. “I dunno.” She said, shrugging. “Maybe.”

Now it was his turn to be shocked. He stared at her, then, he started laughing. It felt good to laugh for once. It had been so long. So long since he'd been able to feel so easy-going and light hearted. Since before Kagome had been kidnapped. Since before Kikyou had died.

It felt like forever.

Kagome was torn between wanting to smack him for laughing at her, awe because he was laughing, really laughing, and affection, because even though he was laughing, he hadn't released her hands.

Slowly, the mirth died and he sighed, opening his eyes to look down into her own, mildly amused pair. “Come on, wench.” He said gruffly. “Let's get you to bed. I know how you get without sleep.” He dropped one of her hands, keeping a gentle grasp on the other one, leading her back to the house.

She watched his back as they moved through the living room, ignored the rude sound that Souta made when he saw them holding hands. She let him lead her up to her bedroom and blinked when he remained outside the door.

“Go ahead and get changed.” He said softly, then he closed the door between them.

Kagome stared at it for a long moment, trying to decipher that unreadable expression he'd been wearing. His eyes had gone warm, molten, like honey. His brows had softened from their perpetual scowl, the corners of his lips turned up slightly. She shivered, pulling her favorite night shirt from her drawer, stripping out of her school clothes and then pulled the oversize t-shirt over her head, sighing as she sat on the edge of the bed. “I'm covered.” She announced, watching him enter. She frowned a bit when he froze in the doorway.

He took several breaths to steady himself. Kagome usually wore more clothing when she slept in his time. Technically. Really, the shirt wasn't any shorter than her school uniform shirt. Quickly, he shook the shock that she'd wear something like that in front of him after what happened off and moved into the room, closing the door behind him. He sat in the chair, looking out the window. “Go ahead and go to sleep.” He said quietly.

Kagome noticed he was keeping his gaze averted and blushed, realizing that this was kind of inappropriate sleepwear. “S-sorry...I could put on something else-”

He pinned her down with his eyes. “It's fine.” He said, his voice a combination of gruff and gentle that made her stomach tie itself in knots. He watched Kagome climb under the covers, waiting till she turned off the light to speak. “Goodnight, Kagome.”

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

AN: Another chapter gone. Yes, this is two days after the last chapter, before I get any random questions about how long it's been. Yes, it's also been about a month since Kagome was raped. Maybe she's getting over it faster in her time, or maybe talking about it or sharing it with someone acted like a lance to an infected wound. No, she's not out of the pain yet. It's going to get worse before it gets much better. Each chapter will continue to contain the contents of a single day. If the events run over two consecutive days, it will still be in two separate chapters.

ALSO, PLEASE READ THIS!!!
I'm posting this chapter, and it will likely be the last one for awhile. I'm moving back up to NY because my husband is coming home from Iraq. As a result, I'll probably be out of commission for awhile, missing in action, all that jazz. Don't worry, I'm not abandoning this story again.

Okies, shouts out now...Those who took the time to write me a line or two when I posted last chapter:
Jav-Chan: I hope that clearing up the time line made it seem less sudden. I really agreed when I read the old chapters. It's why I decided to restructure it anyways. And if I don't finish it, I have the feeling that a few readers really will hunt me down and kill me o.o; Anyways, glad you like it, and we'll see what I can do about that creep Naraku. LOL There may be more angst yet.

Kokoronagomu: Glad you like it. I wrote the original during an exceptionally angsty period in my life, and it was so...well, juvenile and unreal when I read it about a year later that I pretty much scrapped the whole project till now. LOL Being in a long term relationship with a man, it does tend to be like this. Emotional misunderstandings abound. It makes for good chemistry and adds spice to life. I never want to be in a relationship that I completely understand.

Roxasandsora: Thanks, and here...have some tissues. It's going to get worse. Or better. Or both.

BlueStone of 22 9er: Um...okay! <3 Thanks, I think.