InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Broken Fates ❯ Complications ( Chapter 20 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter 20: Complications

Yasha flushed - this was truly the most awkward moment he could ever remember as he walked into Mika's waiting room and looked around for Kagome. This was their first counseling session together - when they weren't even together.

He could tell Kagome didn't like it, either, as he shambled over and sat next to her, smiling nervously. It was beyond obvious that she was here because she had to be, not because she wanted to be, and in an odd way, that hurt.

It just made it that much clearer that she didn't share his feelings for her... in the slightest.

He turned away, a pained look in his eye, and noticed the sympathetic looks from some of the other people in the room. It made him flush even deeper, and finally, his gaze dropped to the floor, and stayed there.

He was beginning to lose all hope of ever having his happy future with Kagome.

A sick feeling played through his heart then, and he just knew that these counseling sessions were going to end in heartbreak for him - this was going to hurt, and suddenly, he wasn't sure he even wanted to be here.

Some sense of self-preservation kicked in, and he just wanted to get up and get out of there, leave it all behind, and it took every bit of courage he possessed to remain seated, his hands clenched so tight they were bloodless.

Kagome, however, wasn't as oblivious as it might seem, and was well aware of the tension in the male next to her, though she might not have known exactly what it was that was bothering him, and with an almost silent sigh, reached over without looking at him, and took his hand.

In the moment that she did, two things happened. One, she realized that she'd never willingly touched him until that moment - and two... flashes of memories assaulted her... memories of her and Inuyasha - only he was overlaid with Yasha. It was in that single moment that she fully realized that Yasha and Inuyasha were really one and the same soul.

It frightened her.

It also left her with a lot of questions to ask him, something she'd never thought to do until now. She only hoped he'd be willing to share.

Yasha was absolutely stunned when he felt her reach down and grab his hand -never, in a million years had he expected her to do that, and the simple feel of her willingly touching him, was enough to almost make him cry.

Which was simply, horrifyingly embarrassing, and suddenly, Mika couldn't call them back soon enough for his tastes.

Shyly, uncertain of what he'd see, he looked over and smiled at her, then squeezed her hand softly, before looking away again.

Kagome didn't know what to think... because holding his hand suddenly felt very right - in a way she wasn't quite prepared for, so when she heard their names called she stood up quickly, releasing a relieved sigh as he let go of her hand. She smiled at him a little as he gestured for her to walk ahead of him, and they followed Mika back to her office, prepared for a harrowing hour of talking about the painful past.

Mika studied them both as they entered the room, shutting the door behind them and then taking her seat. It was clear that they were both uncomfortable, though for different reasons.

"So... either of you have any questions for me?" she finally asked.

Kagome shot her a look. "Yeah. What exactly are you trying to accomplish with this travesty, anyway?"

Mika noticed Yasha's flinch, and frowned. "Why do you think this is a 'travesty'?"

"Well, isn't it? I mean, couple's counseling is for couples, and there's no couple here. Seems kinda stupid to me."

"Yasha? Do you see this the same way?"

Kagome flushed with embarrassment. She'd forgotten that he was sitting there for a moment. She wouldn't have been so belligerent if she'd remembered his presence.

"Uh..." he flashed a quick glance at Kagome, then looked away. "Maybe not... stupid," he said, and Kagome flinched. "Awkward, though."

Mika settled back and watched the two for a moment, wondering how best to handle this, and decided that her best bet was probably just to get them talking, inserting questions only when needed. With that in mind, she asked, "Kagome, aren't there any questions that you would ask Yasha, here? About things that were left behind?"

The girl nodded, turning to face the hanyou. "How much... I mean, what do you remember from... back then?" She winced at his pained look.

He drew in a calming breath, and said, "I remember most of... his life before he met you, and then everything from the moment he met you 'til he... sent you back. Not much about... after. Only a few generalized things."

"I... see."

"Why? Was there something you wanted to know?"

She laughed at that, but it wasn't a humorous laugh - it was dry, and cold. "Lots of things, I guess - can't really think of one single question, really, except... Why?!"

Yasha turned away at that question, looking out the window. "Which, 'why'? There's so many things that question could encompass. Do you mean why he sent you away the way he did?"

"Yes!... and... no. I get that he chose Kikyou, too bad, so sad for me. But..." she trailed off miserably as the thought came, again, that she would never see Sango and Miroku again.

"He wasn't thinking about that. He was feeling hurt, and angry, foolish... and he hated the fact that he had to send you away. He knew, you see. He knew that what Kaede had said was right. You weren't meant for... him - yet. He nearly choked at the thought of you being with anyone else - the only reason he ended up agreeing was because, as he saw it, he was sending you to himself, in a way."

Kagome jerked her head around from where she'd been staring at the wall, anger etching every bit of her voice. "How can you stand to say that? Are you him?! NO! You aren't. You are Yasha! Are you really so willing to do something just because everyone seems to expect it? Oh, I'll be with Kagome because I have Inuyasha's soul, and the kami said it should be this way. What the hell!"

Yasha snarled at her at that, whipping his own gaze around to pin her to her seat with the intensity of it.

"Do I look like anybody's fool!? he hissed, outraged. "I am no one's bitch, Kagome, not even fates. I am here, with you, because I want to be!"

"How could you choose me," she shrieked, "you don't even know me!"

"Like hell I don't, Kagome! Who the hell do you think has watched over you and protected you from the time either of us were old enough to walk? It sure as hell wasn't Inuyasha! It was me! I've been with you since you were old enough to go to school, wench. I know you quite well - it's just you that doesn't know me," he finished sadly, his burst of anger dying out as quickly as it had come.

Kagome was remembering a certain conversation between Yasha and Shippo... and feeling guilt wash over her as some things suddenly became very clear to her.

Such as the fact that he was essentially correct. He had been watching over her for years - and she'd never even known it.

"Why did you waste so much time watching me?" she questioned, voice low and eyes hidden behind her bangs.

Mika sat up a bit a that - this was an important question - and how he answered it could be the thing that saved his chances with the girl - or doomed them.

He sighed, glancing away from her for a moment. "At first, it was because I was supposed to. Sure, I had all those memories of the baka, but... hell if I was gonna have someone tell me who I had to love. Feh. I figured I'd keep a watch on you, then when your duty to the past was done, I'd be free to go off and do what I wanted. Easy, ne?"

He chuckled sadly. "Didn't turn out that way, though. It took a while, because I fought it tooth and nail, but... after a few years, I was there, I realized, because I wanted to be - for myself. Not because I was supposed to be. I wanted you for me, and to hell with everyone else. You have no idea of how jealous of that prick I really was..."

Kagome flushed, eyes lowered, and stared at her hands. She couldn't really think of anything to object to in his words - and she wanted to.

But he'd left her no opening.

If he'd said it was because it was their fate, then she could have fought him. But how do you fight it when he was doing it for himself? She was losing ground, and she knew it.

Mika sat back, hiding a smile. She was pleased with his words. Kagome couldn't object to them, as she so obviously had wanted to do.

The ball was now in her court, and they all three knew it. She knew what Yasha wanted, and more importantly, why he wanted it.

Now it was up to her to decide what she wanted - if she could open her heart to him, for who he was now - not who he had been.

She closed her eyes, rubbing her temples, she said, "I want to go home now. I need to think, and I've had enough for the day."

Mika just nodded.

I'm sure you have, Kagome. Think long and hard about this - it isn't just your own happiness at stake.

---cCc---

Kagome would have preferred to walk home alone, but at this point, she knew that wasn't going to happen. Yasha was not about to let her out of his sight.

She sighed, a random thought making her chuckle softly.

In some ways, he's just like his previous incarnation. Protective... although I think that has more to do with being Inu than anything else.

"It's an Inu thing, isn't it?"

Yasha looked over at her. "Huh?"

"The whole over-protective thing... he was always like that, too."

"Well," he said slowly, "sort of. But we're not like this with just anyone, you know. Only one we've chosen to protect. It's a conscious choice."

"Really?" she asked, head tilted to the side. "I guess... I wouldn't know about that. Inuyasha only protected me because I was his only way to find the tama."

Yasha snorted at that. "Only in the beginning. That changed... fast. After all, after the bitch was brought back, he coulda just hooked up with her to find the shards. But he didn't."

She choked when he called Kikyou a bitch so casually. "Well, I guess that proves to me more than anything else that you aren't him, if I didn't already know it. He would never have called her a bitch."

"I'm sorry. But that's just my take on it. I never understood, from all my memories, what he saw in her." He shuddered. "I guess it's the whole loyalty thing, because she was the first person to treat him like one, but looking at his memories, she was a cold one - even back before she died. Self-centered, in a way."

Kagome looked down, blushing shyly. "Oh."

"It's so strange sometimes, looking at you. I know she was your previous incarnation... but, I just don't see it. You're so different. If it had been me, back then... I'd have kicked her ass to the curb in a heartbeat, and been after you faster than you could blink." He didn't look at her as he said that, too embarrassed, but needing to say it.

Kagome's eyes widened, and then softened, before she turned her face away, linking her hands together and twisting them nervously.

"Really?"

"Really."

"I don't know what to say..." her voice trailed away into a profound silence, and Yasha smiled just a bit.

After awhile, he said, "You don't have to say anything. I'm just stating a fact, after all."

Something in his words had completely disarmed her, and she just couldn't seem to bring back her former feelings of anger towards him. Not even a bit of irritation.

Dammit! How do you fight something like that? Why do you even fight something like that?

She was quickly losing her motivation...

"Well," she cleared her throat awkwardly, "are we still on tonight with Shippo and Kirara for movies at his house?"

Yasha nodded. "Yeah... if you still want to, that is." When she nodded in return, he said, "I'll swing by and we'll walk together."

She chuckled. "And if I said no, you'd still show up and just follow me, wouldn't you?"

"Yup."

"Fine. I'll meet you at the bottom of the shrine steps." She rolled her eyes as he grinned at her. "Baka."

And he laughed, then, recognizing this little ritual. "Bitch."

"Yeah... this is where I'd have said 'oswari'," she laughed outright as he flinched, "but..."

"Ain't no way anyone's ever getting beads like that on me. You know..." he shot her a glance from the corner of his eye, "we still have that necklace. They've been passed down, along with the Tessaiga. He never took them off - flat out refused to let the bitch remove them. They never worked for anyone else, but..."

Kagome stared off into the distance, lost in her memories for a minute, then flicked a questioning glance his way. "So... who has Tessaiga, now?"

"Feh, who do you think? Me, of course. After all, I'm the one protecting you now. You know," he shook his head in remembrance, "I wasn't just given the Tessaiga. I had to earn it."

She cast him a confused glance. "Uh... earn it? What do you mean?"

"I had to consciously choose to protect you, because I wanted to, before Tessaiga would transform for me. When it did that, my father knew that I wanted you for the right reasons." He chuckled again. "Tessaiga doesn't play favorites, and it judges your heart and intentions impartially."

Kagome stared ahead, thoughts once more chaotic. Tessaiga was one thing she knew she could trust implicitly. As Yasha said, the sword was impartial - and wouldn't respond to anything less than the truth.

Which meant... Yasha didn't want her for any other reason than because he wanted her. It wasn't because of Inuyasha, it wasn't because of all that fate mumbo jumbo - all that 'red cord of fate' crap.

And that spoke to something inside her... to her heart, and her soul.

Because the one thing Kagome had always wanted was in fact just to be... wanted.

For herself.

As she said her goodbyes in a rather distracted fashion, agreeing to meet him there later for their movie night at Shippo's, that one thing echoed in her mind, over and over.

Someone out there, wanted her.

Kagome.

Not Kikyou.

---cCc---

Yasha was actually in a good mood when he arrived home, and it didn't go unnoticed by his mother, as she came out from the living room, smiling quizzically at him.

"You sound awfully happy, son. Did the session go well?"

He shook his head. "Not so much the session but... the walk home was good. I made her think. She even joked with me - the way she used to with him."

Etsu blinked, then her smile widened. "Well... that's good, then, ne?"

He nodded. "I think so. Plus, we're going to hang out at Shippo's this evening, so..."

"That sounds good, son." She moved forward and hugged him. "Just keep your hope, Yasha. She will come to you - it's just going to take time."

"Yeah." He pulled away as his phone rang, and she walked back into the living room as he waved at her and wandered off towards his room, answering his call.

"Hey, Kin... what's up?"

"Not much man, but hey, if you're game, I've got someone that wants to meet you. Told her we could go hang out tonight. You've got to come, Yasha, she's hot, and she's got a real thing for you."

Yasha sighed, closing his eyes, he wiped a hand down his face. "Kin, I've told you before - many times before. I'm not interested. I've already got a girl, and in fact, I am going out with her tonight."

"You've got a girlfriend?!"

"Well, not yet, we're not actually dating, but she's who I want - and I have wanted her for years. Sorry, man, but you're gonna have to break it to this chick, whoever she is." He laughed at his friends groan. "Ya shouldn't have told her I'd go out with her before you asked, Kin. Sorry."

"Dude, I've known you for years, and not once in all that time, have you ever dated a chick. If I didn't know better, I'd think you liked guys. And now you have a girl you're interested in?"

"I've known her for a long time, I already told you that - but there've been... complications up until recently. Now's my chance, and I'm taking it."

"Well, shit, man. Fine. But I wanna hear all about this girl - and I wanna meet her, too. Although... you might want to be careful, Yasha. I told you, this girl really, really likes you. You know Akina, right?"

Yasha groaned at that. "Fuck! Not her... man, that woman's a stalker! She'd give the devil nightmares! You need to get your head checked if you're trying to get her hooked up with anybody. I can't believe you'd do that to me!"

"Well... she is hot, you have to admit that."

"Not in my eyes, bakayarou! Far as I'm concerned, you can take her out, long as she stays away from me!" He clicked his phone off and threw himself across his bed, irritation running through him.

Damn you, Kin! I did NOT need that bitch on my tail. As if things aren't complicated enough right now...

He groaned, letting his head fall back with a thump.

I am so fucked.

---cCc---

A/N: Hope everyone enjoys the new chapter!

Amber