InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Broken Fates ❯ What Becomes of the Broken-Hearted ( Chapter 29 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter 29: What Becomes of the Broken-Hearted

Yasha looked around himself and had to shake his head - couldn't the kami be any more original than a grey nothingness? With a sigh, he glanced around once more, then followed the pull of his soul towards the part of it wandering around in here - towards Inuyasha.

And Kikyou.

Scowling, he thought about the whole mess as he wandered towards the tug on his soul. He wasn't sure he could be polite to the bitch that had hurt his Kagome - or his own past incarnation. The way he felt about it, he'd love to wallop the hell out of both of them. It would serve them both right, in his opinion.

Damn, this mess is headache inducing. And it's not like I can go to anyone for advice on how to deal with this shit, he thought, irritated.

He felt a bit of trepidation humming along the link to his soul, and grinned, ferally amused. Good! Stupid bastard is nervous about my presence - means he knows how I feel about all this crap.

He sped his pace up, knowing he was about to run into his past incarnation, and Kikyou, as well, and wanting nothing more than to light into them for the shit they'd pulled.

"Oi, I think we know we fucked up, stupid, ya don't need to fuckin' reiterate that," came a sarcastic voice from out of the mist, and Yasha growled as he stepped forward, finally coming to a halt in front of, well, himself - sort of.

He looked the other male over, then crossed his arms over his chest, not impressed. "Man, I was weak in my past life - no wonder Sesshoumaru looked down on you!" As Inuyasha snarled angrily, Yasha turned his biting, contemptuous gaze on the miko standing just beside the snarling fool. "And you aren't nearly as beautiful, powerful, or intelligent as Kagome is," he sneered as she gasped, hurt.

Inuyasha crouched, fully intending to whip this boy's ass for speaking to Kikyou that way. "Keh! Didn't your parents teach you respect, especially for ancestors?"

"No, they taught me to respect those who've earned it - and neither of you have earned shit from me!" Yasha snapped, pissed as hell that the stupid bastard even had the nerve to demand anything from him!

Both Inuyasha and Kikyou were taken aback at that, and with a narrow-eyed glare, Yasha let them both know in no uncertain terms that they needed to stay out of his way. Then he turned on his heel and headed off into the mist again, following the tug on his heart that told him where Kagome was.

Gods... how am I supposed to fix this? That bastard is still just as stupid as he ever was, and Kikyou's just as much a spineless bitch. I can't believe that's who we both were in our last lives - it's a good thing neither of us are the same this time around.

He felt so much frustration and anger at what Kagome had suffered. She'd been taunted, tortured, betrayed, and broken, and there was nothing he could do about it. He couldn't save her from any of it - and he wasn't doing such a good of saving her from herself this time, either.

But if he didn't, then everything was over. Damn the kami anyway - they should be the ones fixing this crap, since they are the ones that allowed this shit to happen on their watch, he thought sourly.

Before he could think on anything more, he heard voices, and came to a halt as he realized that one of the voices was Kagome.

The other was a male.

Who the fuck?

---cCc---

Kagome was still sitting where she'd been when Sango faded away, though her tears had long since dried. She'd looked around, considering getting up and moving, but decided against it with a weary shrug; not like any place here was any different from any other place here, so there was really no point.

Sango's words kept whirling maddeningly through her mind, over and over, and she was getting a major headache from the whole thing. Truth be told, she was beginning to get so desperate for peace, that she was almost ready to forgive and forget the whole damn thing - everyone except Kikyou. She just couldn't swallow taking that bitch back into herself and reintegrating with that part.

"Don't you see? It's the same thing. Kikyou is you. When you were her, you were a bitch - to yourself - so now you hate yourself for that. But even though there's times that you think "I hate myself for that', you don't try to kick a part of your soul out over it!"

That's what Sango had said - and while she could see what she was talking about, it just didn't seem to make any difference to her - she just detested the former miko too much to want anything to do with her. As much as she had always felt bad about hating, this time she couldn't help it - she wanted Kikyou to suffer. Instead, she'd gotten everything Kagome'd wanted, and Kagome had gotten nothing.

Kagome had lost everything.

The only thing that she'd gotten back was Shippo, and in a way, that was just as difficult to face, because she'd missed out on everything with him; one minute he was her little kit, the next he was a full grown adult.

And that made her feel even more cheated.

Of course, she thought guiltily, even if she'd stayed in the past, she'd have been dead by now, so she'd still be missing things with Shippo, but even realizing that really didn't help. And even knowing that in some ways, she was acting like a spoiled child, didn't help - she felt that she was kinda entitled, after the way she'd been used by everyone in this whole damn mess.

Inuyasha had used her, Kikyou had used her, the fates had used her, and the kami had used her - and what did she get out of it? A headache, a heartache, and now threats that if she didn't shut up and accept what had happened to her and act all happy about it, that she'd be stuck here in limbo 'til she died? What the fuck was up with that? Why the hell did everyone else get what they wanted, and she got stuck with shit?

With a bitter sigh, she rubbed her hands up and down her arms, feeling suddenly cold. "All I keep doing is going in circles in my head, and not getting anywhere. Maybe I should have just made that stupid wish to bring Kikyou back to life myself while I was still back in the past."

"And why would you want to do that, Kagome-sama? It would have killed you if you had done so, don't you realize that?"

Kagome's head whipped up at the well-known and beloved voice. "Miroku!"

The monk she'd missed so much smiled at her and came to sit with her. "You didn't answer my question, Kagome," he chided gently.

She flushed and looked away, embarrassed. "I know I didn't."

Miroku nodded as she flicked a glance back at him. "Then you made that statement..." he trailed off leadingly, and Kagome sighed, shamed.

"Yes. I know it would have killed me. That was the point."

Before anything more could be said, another voice broke in, and Kagome flinched, shocked, as Yasha stepped through the concealing mists, staring at her with pained, devastated eyes. "K-kagome? You... you'd wish to be dead? Don't I mean anything to you at all? We could never be together again if you'd done that," he whispered, anguish clear in his expression.

At that, Kagome burst into tears again, and looked beseechingly at Miroku, as though she was asking for absolution, but he looked back sternly at her, refusing. "No, Kagome-sama, I can't give you what you are asking for. There is no absolution except by your own decision. You are not the only one hurting here. Hasn't Yasha-sama hurt enough, too? He's had to wait all these years for the woman he loves, and even watch her fall for the wrong person. And then when he finally has his chance, you are so angry at Inuyasha and Kikyou, that you don't even care that you're hurting him even more. Remember, as angry as you want to be at Kikyou, and Inuyasha, Yasha has done nothing to you but watch over you when he could, and love you. How can you justify what you are doing to him, because of what Kikyou did to you?"

Kagome's eyes were wide, the whole time Miroku was speaking her eyes were bound to him, but at the end, she turned horrified eyes on Yasha, who was looking at her with a still-heartbroken expression.

"I want you to see something, Kagome-sama," Miroku said, before reaching over and touching a hand to her head. As he did so, Kagome's eyes snapped closed, and a dizzying bunch of scenes flashed through her mind. She knew immediately that they were things that had happened after her accident - Yasha's reactions being front and center. His pain, fear, and suffering were palpable, and Kagome's heart almost stopped, then, as her eyes popped back open and sought Yasha's gaze again.

In that moment, she felt more shame for her behavior than she'd ever felt in her life. Because the truth was, she was acting just like Kikyou had acted, being a bitch to someone who loved her just because she'd been hurt in the past. All her actions in hating Kikyou were nothing more than hypocrisy.

And as her self-righteous anger turned to ashes in her mouth, with a heart-wrenching sob, she stood and flung herself into Yasha's arms, hoping against hope that he would open them for her, and not turn her away like he had every right to do at that point.

"I didn't m-mean it, Yasha! I'm so, so, sorry!" she wailed, clenching her arms around him as he pulled her to him tightly, lowering his head to murmur soothingly into her ear as tears also leaked from his eyes. Miroku watched with a smile for a few moments, letting them alone as long as he could, then he stood as well and stepped forward.

"Kagome," he said gently, "please, listen for a moment." He waited for a few seconds until the drenched, red-rimmed eyes of one of his best friends met his. "I don't have much time, but I wanted to say this. Kikyou-sama was correct about one thing," he rolled his eyes, "even if it was the only thing she was right about - you wanted to know what your reward was, did you not?" He tilted his head gently indicating Yasha, who was still holding her tightly. "This man, who loves you only for yourself, is your reward. Is he not worth it to you?"

Kagome blinked in shock, as just that suddenly, the chaos that had been swirling within her fell silent, and she turned to look up at him. In his eyes, she saw everything she'd ever wanted to see in Inuyasha's... but curiously, seeing them in Yasha's eyes in that moment meant more than seeing them from the hanyou of her past ever could have.

Blinking again in stunned surprise, she realized... I'm... I'm really falling in love with Yasha, and those old feelings for Inuyasha are... fading away. Dying...

"Y-yes," she said huskily, then paused to clear her throat. "I understand, Miroku," she flinched suddenly, and whipped her head around to glare at the monk as her hand came around to smack his cheek, "Hentai!" she yelled.

Yasha growled, irritated, as Miroku chuckled, pressing a hand to his burning cheek. "Ah, I could not help myself, Kagome-sama, my hand so fondly remembered the old times, and could not resist one last chance to stroke such pretty flesh," he said. "Being dead does not change the curse on this hand, my friend, and when I see you again, I'm sure that the curse will reacquaint itself with you once more. Of course, it would prefer to stroke my beloved Sango, but..." he grinned sheepishly as Kagome narrowed her eyes at him.

"That's something I'll enjoy seeing again," she muttered. "Sango smacking the hell out of you."

"And if she doesn't, I will," grated Yasha. "You'd best keep your hands off my girl - here, and in your next life, bouzo."

Miroku chuckled again, then a sad look crossed his face. "Yes, well, it seems as though the 'here' part, isn't going to matter any longer. It is time for me to go, Kagome - but remember, just as my beloved Sango told you, we wish to see you again, and we cannot do so until you find a way to resolve your difficulties with yourself, and wake again. So, please... hurry?" he asked as he slowly faded away.

Kagome sobbed out a rather broken laugh. "I'll try, Miroku-kun... I promise," she finished sadly as he disappeared.

She slumped into the supporting arms of Yasha for a moment, then something occurred to her, and she looked up at him, confused. She flushed at the tender, adoring look in his eyes, but asked, "Uhm, if I'm in a coma, how are you here?" Her eyes widened in horror. "Wait, you weren't hurt, were you?"

He shook his head, not breaking her gaze. "No... I followed you. To me, your my mate, K'gome - and mates stay together. If you die, then I don't want to live - I'd be a broken remnant of what I'm supposed to be, and that's no kind of life - especially since I'd live so long. It'd be like living for centuries, and being tortured every single second of it."

With a shudder, Kagome continued to stare at Yasha, finding herself getting lost in his eyes. It's so strange... it's like he's all the best that Inuyasha could ever have been - that he had the potential to be, but never reached. But it's all coming out in Yasha. And he really does love me... she thought with wonder.

"I'm sorry, Yasha-kun, for hurting you so much," she breathed sadly. "I never meant to, but that's no excuse, and I know it." She looked away, finally, shamed, but then looked back up at him determinedly. "I promise, I'm going to figure this out somehow. I don't want to stay here, and put you in danger, either, so if I have to get past this thing with Kikyou, then I'll figure it out... somehow."

Yasha stared down at the only woman he would ever love, and smiled at her. Brushing her cheek with his hand, he said, "I think we both need to work on it, because I think I hate those two just as much as you do. I can't believe that's who we were in our past lives - so petty and weak and spineless!"

Kagome looked taken aback for a moment. Petty, weak and spineless? Wide-eyed, she considered that, then began to laugh, feeling lighter than she had in the whole time she'd been back in her time. "T-that's priceless!" she chortled. "I bet neither one of them would like that, would they?"

With a grin, Yasha shook his head, loving the bright smile on her face. "They certainly didn't like what I told them when I ran into them here, that's for sure," he chuckled at her interested look.

"What'd you say to them?" she asked.

"Well, I told Inuyasha that I was weak in my past life, and it's no wonder Sesshoumaru couldn't stand him, and then I told Kikyou that she wasn't anywhere near as beautiful, smart, or powerful as you are. She really didn't like that... neither did Inuyasha."

As Kagome burst out laughing, Yasha couldn't help it, and tugged her closer to him, his eyes suddenly changing from amused, to something else...

But before he could act on it, even as Kagome's laughter died, came a voice neither really wanted to hear.

"Oi! That ain't funny, bitch! And knock that shit off - nobody wants to see it!"

---cCc---

Kagome's entire frame stiffened as Yasha let loose with the mother of all growls, pushing her behind him protectively, he glared at the two moving out of the mists. "What the hell do you two wastes-of-space want?" he snapped, definitely not in the mood to deal with bullshit from either of them.

Inuyasha ignored him, glaring at the woman peeking out from behind Yasha's shoulder. "So what the fuck, Kagome, huh? Why'd you let things get this far?"

Kagome narrowed her eyes on the hanyou, then turned to glare at Kikyou, before looking back at Inuyasha. She stepped out from behind Yasha, though she obeyed his silent demand to stay near him. Inuyasha growled at that, annoyed, but Kagome didn't let him say anything.

"What's the matter, Inuyasha - don't you like you and Kikyou's handiwork? This is what becomes of the broken-hearted," she said, opening her arms wide. "After all, you both worked so hard at making me into what I am now - and you're blaming me? Guess I shouldn't really be surprised - seeing as how you always blamed me for everything, and the few things you didn't, Kikyou made sure to bring up so you would! Even shit that was her damn fault to begin with!"

"So you're gonna keep punishing us for that?" he yelled.

"Why the hell not?" Yasha snarled angrily at that. "It ain't like either of you ever really apologized for any of it and really meant it!" He turned a sharp, wicked gaze on Kikyou. "And simpering, half-assed whining about having made mistakes ain't a damn apology!" he roared, then, suddenly beyond angry at the wimps in front of him.

With wide eyes, Kagome leaned back a little and stared at him, shocked that he was so angry on her behalf - and falling just a little more in love with him because of it. The other two, however, had literally shrunk back in shock, obviously not having expected such rage from Yasha.

Eyes narrowing, Yasha stalked forward, then, and shoved an astonished Inuyasha backwards so hard he fell on his ass. Yasha leaned down to stare him in the eye. "And don't you ever call her a bitch again, you stupid bastard, understand?" he asked, a deadly sort of softness in his voice.

Kagome was pulled from her fascination at Yasha's defense of her with movement from Kikyou, and she snapped out of it, stepping between Yasha and Kikyou protectively. "Don't even think about it."

Kikyou sighed. "Look, we didn't come here to fight with you two - it seems rather silly to do so, don't you think? Since we're really just fighting against ourselves?"

Kagome shook her head, suddenly disgusted. "You know, Yasha was right. We really were rather pathetic in our past lives," she mused, still staring Kikyou down. "But that doesn't mean that I have to be like you now. You're really not worth the waste of time it takes to hate you. It's funny how you can ask that question now, when it's convenient for yourself, but before, it was a totally different matter. I was a real hypocrite in my last life - and I'm becoming one again in this life, following in your footsteps, aren't I?"

She looked over at Yasha, who'd stood up and was looking back at her, completely ignoring Inuyasha. "I've been so worried about not being like Kikyou, that I've ended up acting just like her, haven't I?"

He simply stared back at her, not saying a word.

With a chuckle, she moved her gaze to Inuyasha, who was staring sadly at her, and then back to Kikyou, who looked rather insulted. Her gaze went distant for one long moment, and then she huffed disgustedly at herself. "Well, that stops now." Her gaze sharpened back on her former incarnation. "You really aren't worth the pain of hating you, and I refuse to act like you any longer. This mess is done. Get back where you belong, Kikyou, and go back to your eternal sleep - you aren't needed anymore."

A sudden shocked silence descended on the group, and then a keening wind whipped into those standing in the mists, as Kikyou was once more pulled into her soul form, and yanked back into Kagome's body forcefully.

Raising a yearning gaze to Yasha, she said, "See you on the other side, love."

And then blackness descended, and he knew no more.

---cCc---

A/N: And before anyone asks, no, it's not over yet. The angst-fest still has a bit of a ways to go - Kagome has just finally realized that in trying to avoid being Kikyou, she's instead acting just like her - and she doesn't want to do that anymore. But it's not all hunky dory yet - Kagome still, even though she's started to forgive and forget the past, has a ways to go before she can let go of all of it. But it's enough to reintegrate her soul, and wake from her coma.

Amber