InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Brotherly Love ❯ Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi would be dismayed to read all the situations I put HER characters into.

 

Author Note: I apologize for any OOC behavior in this chapter. (But is it really possible to get these characters together without straying from the real storyline?) Next, I tried to fit in the lemony stuff in this chapter, but I just ran out of room. It wasn't really central to the story anyway, right? Oh, wait. Yes, it was.

 

Brotherly Love 09:

 

Her inherent, incessant worrying ways kept her from breaking the news to Inuyasha. She wanted to tell him. She really, really did. Kagome had never felt quite so nervous and flustered and embarrassed in her life. But every time she turned to her ex-hanyou protector and long time friend, she choked on the words. Inuyasha must have asked her forty times if she was feeling all right that morning, or if she needed to rest inside, out of the bright sun in the courtyard.

 

But really, how would she start such a conversation?

 

So Inuyasha, she thought humorlessly. You remember how you thought your half-brother hated you and all? He doesn't really; he was merely unable to bring you back into the family because of some ridiculous dog-demon pack rule. But now he wants to have babies with you! Congrats! …What's that? `No f___ way?!' In that case, he wants to have babies with me! Even better, right? At least it's not just about sex.

 

With a snort, Kagome turned away and glared angrily at the wooden floor planks of the porch ringing the courtyard. Contrary to her current mood, Inuyasha had been feeling fabulous all day, because the barrier around their quarters had been expanded to include a new set of rooms and a portion of the nearby grounds. A good behavior reward, she supposed, although whether it was for her own behavior in the hot spring, or in return for Inuyasha's excellent sword fighting earlier that day, she was not certain.

 

She had wanted to reassure Inuyasha that she loved him, no matter what form he took, and she had ended up sleeping with him. Then, she had tried to encourage Sesshoumaru to reconcile with his brother, and she ended up making out with the white haired demon. Yet neither one of the brothers seemed any closer to forming an understanding than before! Between the two of them, she feared her brain cells would be permanently warped and fried. And now, Sesshoumaru wanted to talk to her again that evening, in private. The nervous, flustered feeling in her stomach would not abate.

 

How could she broach the subject with Inuyasha? Why was it so difficult to respect both her best friend and the demon lord, at the same time? She hated the idea of anyone's wishes taking precedence over anyone else's. Ever since the whole Inuyasha and Kikyou debacle, Kagome despised playing favorites and refused to do so with the inu-brothers.

 

Yet how could she encourage Inuyasha to become more amenable to being a female? She had tried once already, and it had accomplished nothing but making him even more impossibly pig-headed the next morning. It was amazing, yes, but even in a womanly form, it was possible for someone to have `male' pride. Inuyasha was oozing it from his pores today. It was why he had done so well in the sparring match earlier, against Sesshoumaru. Apparently, for years all he had needed was to get laid, and he could have defeated Naraku single-handedly. Who knew?

 

“Hey Kagome!” the youthful, energetic demon called out from across the courtyard. “Watch this!” She sighed, pretending to pay attention to his antics, while secretly wondering if he knew how much like Shippo he seemed just then…

 

Obviously, while it improved Inuyasha's mood tremendously, sleeping with him did not actually change his attitude toward being a woman. It simply made him sure that he was right, that everyone else was wrong, and it gave him lots and lots of energy. Which brought her back to her earlier problem, how to discuss this impossible situation with her best friend, without dampening his mood or crushing his feelings.

 

Maybe… she could get Sesshoumaru to talk to him. Er… without approaching the subject directly, of course. Otherwise, the conversation would be very violent and short. Sesshoumaru would demand an heir, and Inuyasha would proceed to bash his brother's face in, while his brother attempted to beat him into submission. Really though, there was one thing the elder demon could do.

 

In her opinion, Sesshoumaru had started the inu-brother's rivalry. For the most part, the Lord of the West had attacked his little brother without provocation, and even tried to steal his sword. And even after the debate over Tessaiga ended, Sesshoumaru had always refused to accept Inuyasha's help. Even when the white demon had seemed to need it, like when he fought Shishinki, he had been far too proud to accept assistance.

 

So, perhaps if Sesshoumaru would repeat what he said that morning in the bathhouse, in a more roundabout fashion, then Inuyasha might see that he was being given a unique opportunity. For once, his brother both needed and wanted his help. It didn't matter what form Inuyasha was in, his brother had wanted to accept him back into the clan all along. He had merely been unable, because the pack had been divided when their father ran off with Inuyasha's mother. But now, they could all be one happy family again…

 

Stewing over this sticky little dilemma, Kagome failed to notice as Inuyasha landed in front of her, bending over to peer into her eyes. “You're not even paying attention,” he said brightly, “What's wrong? You miss Shippo? He's fine with Sango and Miroku for now, but we'll be out of here before too long, don't you worry.”

 

The miko rolled her eyes and pointed at her friend to distract him. “Your outfit is hanging open again,” she noted astutely. “Tuck the top into the hakama more tightly.”

 

“Keh,” Inuyasha scoffed. But happily, he proceeded to fix his clothing before sitting down beside her.

 

“You seem energetic this morning,” she remarked, after a few moments.

 

A rare smile raced across Inuyasha's face. Crossing his arms beneath his bosom, and proudly puffing out his chest, he said, “Well, yea. You saw the bastard's face this morning, didn't ya? Looked like he had swallowed a fish whole. I guess even he can be impressed by master swordsmanship in action!”

 

“So, you're saying he was pleased with you,” Kagome began slowly.

 

This time, a smug bark of laughter escaped the inu-youkai, as he replied. “Totally against his will, of course.”

 

Holding back her mirth, she nodded. “And that… makes you happy?”

 

He looked at her and blinked, startled, yet willing to concede the point in silence. She noticed his eyes looked larger now, framed by smaller, more delicate bones. Hmm, she thought, And here I thought his good mood was because of me.

 

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

 

“So you did think he fought well today?” Kagome murmured, rephrasing her question for the umpteenth time, trying to pin down the demon lord with a single answer. Naturally, it was futile. He was being evasive tonight, and the answer to her query kept slipping by her, like a fish flashing by in the river. Although he hadn't denied her question outright, which probably meant `yes, I am mucho proud of my wee lil' bro', she really wanted to hear him say it once, in so many words.

 

“He is hardly the `master' swordsman he claims to be,” replied the taiyoukai, barely phased by her efforts. “There is always room for improvement.”

 

Argh! Another evasive answer! Kagome bemoaned her fate. Verbal plays had never been her forte. “So,” she persisted, doggedly determined to get an answer. “Did you tell him that?”

 

Seeming slightly shocked, as though he had never considered this option, he sniffed, “One does not improve by being coddled.”

 

The reply sounded slightly huffy to her ears. Usually though, Sesshoumaru was so bland that it was difficult to detect subtle changes in his tone. Perhaps she was simply getting better at reading him. As tempting as it was to vent her frustration on him, she forced herself to remain calm and focused on the task at hand - talking Sesshoumaru down off his very high horse.

 

She smiled and gestured with one hand, “Neither does one improve at mind reading, by virtue of being uninformed.”

 

At last, this got his attention. The demon lord considered her words for a time, then nodded once. She hoped it signaled agreement, not that he had heard her words and would proceed to ignore them. Pausing to deliver a final admonition to the demon lord, she grinned and said cheekily, “Well, you know… humans like to talk a great deal! And Inuyasha was raised in that kind of environment, so talking to him might be really effective.”

 

“Hn.” The taiyoukai was completely unimpressed by her observation. Talking to his half-brother had never been effective in the past. Although he was willing to admit that certain humans did, in fact, talk a great deal… The one-time human sitting in front of him was a perfect example.

 

The tea he had ordered had been sitting out for quite some time now, waiting for the lady to pour it. So far though, the priestess had made no move to do this, and the taiyoukai wondered briefly if she had somehow missed seeing the brown pot and the two ceramic, cylindrical cups next to it. Perhaps she was waiting for it to cool?

 

Eyeing the earthenware vessel one last time, he finally relented and served the tea himself. She smiled and accepted a cup, with a short note of thanks, and he raised one brow at her strange manners. Wrapped up in her own concerns, Kagome never noticed she had just failed a fundamental test in feudal manners.

 

“Have you thought more about the proposal?” he intoned, graciously ignoring her faux pas, in favor of more important topics.

 

A blush quickly stained her cheeks. “Yes?” she answered meekly, unsure how best to approach the subject. Was it better to be direct or indirect? Strangely enough, she had not changed her mind about helping the dog-demon. Still, she had resolved to deal with the situation later. (`Later' was always a good time to handle tricky subjects!) Plus, she still had not talked to Inuyasha about it; she needed to deal with that relationship first. “Inuyasha hasn't adjusted to everything yet. I promise to discuss this with him once he settles down.”

 

Again, the taiyoukai could not think of an adequate response. Nothing but time really accustomed one to change. And he did not look forward to putting his own life on hold until his half-brother finally accepted the situation. That could take years! It was much easier to remain patient when temptation was far away and inaccessible. At the moment, he had good reason not to wait - if he allowed the miko to return to his half-brother's room tonight, he risked a repetition of last night's events, and Sesshoumaru did not particularly want to live through that again. It mattered not whether anything came of it - one way or another, he simply had to keep the priestess in his room tonight.

 

They sat in silence and sipped their tea, until the sun was gone from the sky, and the insects chirped and sang in the darkness. Sesshoumaru stayed still, head bent in contemplation. After a while, he took a deep breath, as if he were preparing for a long speech, but before he could begin, his breath escaped in a shaky rush. “I would never ask something of you, if you were not capable of it,” he murmured.

 

It was startling to hear the demon-lord speak informally, but even more so to realize he was giving her a chance to back out on her `bargain' from that morning. It was positively decent of him. She had fully expected him to be sneaky about the ordeal, and make ridiculous demands of her, ones she was not ready to answer yet. Really! She was still a teenager! In her era, she would have thought about getting married and having children much later in life. Her relief was palpable, and she felt all her nervousness that had built up over the course of the day draining away at his words.

 

Yet it would never do to leave him hanging in suspense. Things were very different for women in the warring-states era, and she knew her reticence would be misunderstood as rejection. Also, she wanted to reward him for his good behavior tonight. The taiyoukai had been nothing but polite all evening, and she had actually enjoyed talking to him a great deal. So, Kagome gathered her courage and then… said the stupidest thing possible, in her usual lackadaisical fashion.

 

“I do want to have your baby,” she announced, then blushed as she realized the words coming out of her mouth. Somehow, she always failed to think her sentences through before she began them. “Er… just later. Yes. Later.”

 

Uncertainty washed over her as she glanced at the white dog-demon. Suddenly he seemed so large, dominating the room with his presence. Or was that merely because she felt like shrinking with embarrassment? Once again however, he proved he was capable of being a gentleman, by ignoring her easily misconstrued statement and taking her words at face value.

 

Touching her arm, he helped her up from the floor. “This Sesshoumaru will have the servants prepare you a separate room then.”

 

She frowned and wondered if he had misunderstood after all. “You promised that I could stay by Inuyasha's side,” she reminded him.

 

The taiyoukai merely shook his head. “It is unacceptable for the two of you to room together, but you may have this chamber if you are so determined to remain next door.”

 

“I can't take your room!” Kagome protested, guilt flaring up at the idea of constructively evicting the taiyoukai from his bedroom. Just because she had behaved badly with Inuyasha last night didn't mean she planned to do so again - not once she knew the demon-lord was able to hear their every move from the next room. Their revealing conversation this morning had been way too mortifying to repeat. “Where will you sleep?”

 

As she looked up at him, she leaned forward, her hands dragging his arm down as though she was straining to reach him. Her beautiful eyes bared her emotions, surprising him with the intensity of her gaze, and her lips formed an adorable pout, practically presenting themselves to be kissed, although he knew the miko probably did not expect such a result. Still, it was very tempting to meet her halfway and take what she offered. Gods, what was this woman doing to him? He knew Inuyasha had to be convinced first. The priestess would fall into place afterwards. But every time he was around her, his body encouraged him to seduce her, to mix up the order of things, and probably lose them both in the process.

 

“There is no need to concern yourself with my affairs, miko,” he stated quietly, raising his head to glance at the paneled doors nearby, contemplating how much of their conversation his half-brother had been able to overhear. Hopefully not all of it.

 

She tugged on his sleeve, to draw his attention again, but she did not seem to have anything more to say. Opening and closing her mouth once, she furrowed her brow in frustration. Was it truly such a terrible idea to make use of his room? Or was it that she didn't want to be alone?

 

It was the last thought that ruined his resolve. He had done fine until his mind latched upon the idea that she actually wanted his company. Even though he knew it was not true, a small portion of his mind pointed out that she still had not released his sleeve, and her face looked anguished at the idea that he might leave his own room. There were other chambers in the castle, it wasn't a problem to find somewhere else to sleep, so why else would she seem so upset by his departure?

 

Thus, he managed to talk himself into giving her a chaste, good-night kiss. Just enough to reassure her that there were no hard feelings, she could have his chambers and stay by Inuyasha's side, as long as she did not duplicate last night's episode. Bending down, he pressed his lips lightly against hers. She snuggled more closely against his chest, and tucked her hands behind his back, chipping away at his control.

 

When he drew back, Kagome felt light-headed and whined softly in the back of her throat, a small protest, though she didn't know why she would make such a sound. Residual effects from the hot springs that morning, perhaps? Surely she wasn't interested in Inuyasha's big brother! But as he kept his hand on her arm for a moment to steady her, she realized she did like certain things about him. The past few days had taught her he wasn't all bad. And he had definitely mellowed out over the years, spending time with Rin, and helping their group occasionally in their quest. And he was handsome… and … He still hadn't let go of her arm, holding her to his side, distracting her from her purpose. What had she been planning to do again?

 

Standing on her tiptoes, she sought his mouth again, and this time he did not hold back. His lips fiercely mastered her own, and his tongue slid along her bottom lip, while his arm crushed her against him, lifting her off her feet. This time, when Sesshoumaru withdrew from the kiss, even he seemed confused, his wits befuddled by her touch.

 

“Inuyasha…” Kagome breathed desperately, forgetting whom she was with for a moment.

 

Mistaking this for concern, Sesshoumaru nibbled the side of her lip and said, “We shall have to be silent then, won't we?”

 

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But of course, Inuyasha had heard every word.

 

When Kagome had confessed that she was going to visit his damn brother that evening, he had become immediately suspicious, and positioned himself right by the sliding doors, as close to the edge of the room as the barrier let him sit. Then, he had listened with surprise to their conversation about him, and he had burned with curiosity when Sesshoumaru mentioned a `proposal' he had made with Kagome. The deal obviously concerned him, or Kagome would not have replied that she needed to discuss it with him first… Afterward, he had waited patiently for Kagome to return after finishing her drink, but as the minutes slipped by he had become more and more anxious. And finally, his brain had ceased to function when she had declared she did, in fact, want to have a baby. Sesshoumaru's baby! Right then, he had understood exactly what his brother had suggested to her, but due to his shock, he had remained silent a few moments longer, his eyes wide in the darkness, staring at unseen figures through screened panels.

 

Even if his bastard of a brother was underhanded and devious, Kagome was forthright, straightforward and loyal - she wouldn't fall for…

 

But then this was Kagome, ever-gullible and large-hearted, willing to believe the best about everyone…

 

When he heard nothing else, only subdued voices and whispers, Inuyasha lost his temper completely. “Sesshoumaru!” he screamed, enraged. “Get your damn hands off her!”

 

Sliding Kagome down the front of his body and depositing her on the floor, he glared at the shoji screen panel. Part of him welcomed the diversion however; he had forgotten where he was for a few minutes. The miko collapsed onto the tatami mats, looking for the entire world like a gaping fish and a tomato at once. “Stay there,” he commanded her, glaring until she dropped her eyes and started fiddling with her hair.

 

If the boy wanted to have their confrontation tonight, he was not opposed to it. Yanking back the screen door and dissolving the barrier between the rooms, he allowed Inuyasha to enter. The younger demon growled and leapt to Kagome's side, intent upon seeing to her safety. “Are you all right?” he asked her frantically, “Did that bastard hurt you?”

 

Her blush darkened, and she mumbled something incoherent, which neither sibling listened to in any case, as Inuyasha had already whirled about to face Sesshoumaru again.

 

“What the priestess chooses to do is her business, not yours,” intoned the demon-lord, in a placid voice, yet with infuriating undertones. Inuyasha thought so, at least.

 

“You know what?” he yelled in return, “I don't need Tessaiga to defeat you, I'm gonna rip you apart right here!”

 

Lunging toward his brother, Inuyasha found himself closing in on empty space as Sesshoumaru dodged. His fist crushed the floor instead, crumpling the wood beneath his hand like paper. The taiyoukai gathered his youki, preparing for an energy attack.

 

Kagome groaned, putting her head in her hands and feeling the warmth of her cheeks. Somehow, within the space of only a day, she had taken a bad situation and made it even worse. How did she always manage to make such a mess of things? Her traveling companions always needed to rescue her from dangerous situations too, ones which she carelessly jumped into, heedless of her own safety. She had wanted to make things better between the brothers - instead, the current state of affairs had regressed by several weeks. Any progress the inu-brothers had made toward accepting each other had been undone, and it was all her fault!

 

“Inuyasha, wait!” she cried out, one hand still hovering near her chin, as if to ward off danger. “He said he wants to accept you back into the family, and that was why he made the wish with Midoriko! So that's why… it's good right?”

 

Her comment did not take the scowl from his face, but it did stop him from launching another attack. “Is that supposed to make me feel better? I have to disappear and become someone else before he can consider me worth while? Keh. Kagome, get your stuff, we're leaving.”

 

Sending a last withering look toward his brother, Inuyasha turned his back and started to exit the room. The miko stayed seated, stunned by her friend's stark dismissal of his only remaining family member. He had seemed so happy that afternoon, at the mere idea that his brother might have recognized his swordsmanship skills. For a while, it had seemed like both brothers wanted to reconcile, but they simply did not know how to take the first small steps. Had she misunderstood? Was Inuyasha unhappy to think that his brother wanted him to be part of the family again?

 

And yet, he had surrendered the fight the instant she said it.

 

Glancing at Sesshoumaru, she observed him and wondered what he was thinking. As usual, he was cool, collected, and as unreadable as ever. And yet, he made no move to stop his brother from leaving.

 

The entire predicament frustrated her no end. Things were quickly getting nowhere as usual - neither brother was able to sit down and talk about his feelings like a rational being. Was this because of a unique upbringing, she wondered, or simply because they were both male? What was it about these two dog-demons which restrained them from discussing their emotions! Er… not that many feudal era men were good at that sort of thing… except perhaps Miroku, who hit on every woman that walked on two legs. But Miroku was a special case. Besides, she was getting woefully off track here! Obviously, the brothers just needed a chance to talk things over, to have the heart-to-heart conversation they always failed to have.

 

Frantically, she wracked her brain for a solution. “Osuwari!” she shrieked, to halt Inuyasha's progress out the door. The younger demon tripped and crashed into the floor, held in place by the enchanted rosary beads around his neck.

 

And while it did not have the result she expected, for once, her haphazard methods created the result for which she hoped. Sesshoumaru stepped forward, narrowing his eyes. In the sudden silence, Kagome shrank back from his icy gaze. “Using such underhanded techniques against those of my father's bloodline is utterly unacceptable,” he growled, pronouncing each word gravely. “Remove the subjugation beads at once.”

 

Her eyes widened in surprise. She had offended him! It had insulted his `bloodline' to watch his half-brother restrained in such a manner by a priestess. Before she could work out all the implications of this, he dragged her to her feet and briskly transported her across the room to where Inuyasha lay, unable to rise.

 

When the spell lifted, Inuyasha pushed back and glared at her as well. “What was that for, bitch?” he complained loudly. Kagome twiddled her fingers, trying to look as innocent as possible.

 

“Remove the beads,” Sesshoumaru ordered once more.

 

“She doesn't have to do anything you tell her!” Inuyasha protested on her behalf.

 

“Your dignity is not a toy to be crushed at her whim,” the white-demon bit back, towering over his younger sibling.

 

And suddenly, they were no longer discussing her at all. True, the subjugation beads had originally been intended to protect the priestess from him, allowing her magic to restrain him if he attempted to hurt her. Also true, she did abuse her privilege an awful lot these days, subduing him whenever she felt like it. But he didn't mind the beaded string around his neck. Hell, he was used to Kagome planting him face down in the dirt every time she became slightly annoyed with some stupid aspect of his behavior. In fact, it reassured him to think that she had such power over him, because if he ever did get out of control, she could bring him back to his senses with a word. The charmed necklace had been with him as long as she had been, it was practically part of his outfit, part of his daily routine - (1) make priestess angry, (2) brace self for impact with ground.

 

Yet the fact that his half-brother cared about his dignity was equally priceless. Since when had this become part of Sesshoumaru's personality? Time and time again they had fought, and his half-brother had insulted him for being a half-breed or having no worth. Didn't the taiyoukai believe those words? To come to his defense like this and imply no one else was allowed to speak badly of him or disrespect him, it displayed a whole new side to his brother, one that he had never seen.

 

The affection was belated and twisted into an almost unrecognizable form, but Inuyasha knew it for what it was. He communicated his care for others in a similar way. Something tightened inside him, like a drawstring, closing his throat, forcing heat to his face. Kagome reached out toward the rosary beads, offering to remove them for him, but he simply batted her hand away, unable to speak.

 

It wasn't fair! He had spent his entire life convincing himself that he had no one to rely on, and nobody else cared. Sesshoumaru and his family had been horrible to him when he was younger - he had run away eventually, unable to stand the taunts and insults about his heritage, determined to become a full-demon and prove them all wrong. Why then, did his heart feel so grateful now to know that his brother respected him a little bit? It changed nothing between them. Sesshoumaru was still a jerk, who had tried to steal the Tessaiga, who cheated and forced them to waste their wishes on the Shikon no Tama, and wanted to take advantage of Kagome. But for the life of him, he could no longer work up any ire toward his half-brother.

 

“Just so you know, I don't believe you,” Inuyasha muttered, still angry and unwilling to admit he might actually like his half-brother in any way. “If I was still a hanyou, you would never have said that.”

 

The demon-lord faltered and stilled. Remembering what the miko had advised him of earlier, he struggled to find words to express what he thought. “This Sesshoumaru finds you … changed in form, not in substance.”

 

Kagome glanced back and forth between the two brothers, feeling light and happy. A-ha! she thought, feeling ridiculously pleased with herself. All they needed was a little encouragement! I could be like a translator, taking unspoken Inuyasha thoughts and turning them into weird Sesshoumaru type utterances, so they could more easily understand and communicate with one another.

 

Unable to restrain herself any longer, Kagome let out a tiny squeal of glee and hugged Inuyasha, cutting into the brothers' moment. “See? I told you he wanted you to be a part of the family again,” she chirped delightedly. “Midoriko was right, his wish was pure.”

 

Inuyasha stiffened and attempted to remove her arms from around his neck. With these revelations should have come new confidence, but his old hanyou temperament had returned instead, and he shrank from her affection. Out of the corner of one eye, she saw Sesshoumaru step back, equally alarmed by her easy-going expressions of friendship and regard. She glared at the elder demon and motioned with her chin that he should walk around them until he stood behind his half-sibling. The taiyoukai stared at her blankly for a few seconds, then slowly did what she had suggested.

 

Naturally, Inuyasha was uncomfortable having his brother so close by, without being able to see him clearly. As he began to push her backward so he might turn around, Kagome caught his hair and pulled him forward for a kiss to distract him. And well… it didn't exactly beguile his senses, but Inuyasha was definitely bewildered enough at this point that he forgot all about his brother.

 

Sesshoumaru's arm came around from behind, hugging him over his shoulders, and Kagome released her death-grip on his hair, snuggling under Inuyasha's chin and listening to his heartbeat. Having never been party to a group hug before, he froze in place, and she could hear his heart race as if afraid for his life.

 

Ever so gradually the tension bled out of him. After several minutes Inuyasha relaxed enough to realize that he felt warm and protected, then it took another few minutes for him to realize that he liked the feeling. Eventually, he tried to turn and look at his elder brother over his shoulder, but Sesshoumaru's arm merely gripped him more tightly, refusing to let him move.

 

Feeling like an intruder upon their time together, Kagome had the good grace to look embarrassed. “Ah… should I leave the two of you alone?” she asked, still just as cheerfully as before, but in a more subdued tone now.

 

Inuyasha responded first, shaking his head in the negative, although he wasn't sure if he was alarmed or terrifyingly pleased by the thought of being alone with his brother. Probably alarmed. Definitely alarmed. Yet a traitorous little voice in his head whispered that he was happy to be touched and held by Sesshoumaru. In all his life, Kagome had been the only one to accept him so freely, to embrace him or pull on his ears whenever she felt like it. He had never been so free with his emotions or his actions. And he knew the taiyoukai behind him was even more reserved than he was. So, in many ways, this meant more to him than the miko's friendly touch.

 

But I'm in love with Kagome! his mind protested. The objection was overruled as he felt Sesshoumaru nuzzle his neck apologetically on the spot where he had been injured earlier. His eyes widened, and their altercation in the courtyard came back to him in a flash, turning a simple apology into something more meaningful and sensual. Unsteadily, he gripped Kagome for support, sensing a strange weakness in his knees.

 

The miko tottered under his sudden weight, but before she could fall, Inuyasha found himself in his brother's arm, soon deposited on a fluffy futon in the center of the room. He panicked briefly, latching on to the closest thing available, Sesshoumaru's haori. As Kagome came to rest behind them, he gaped in horror to see he had practically clawed right through his brother's outer layer of clothing.

 

Unperturbed, the stoic taiyoukai merely watched his expression as a quick succession of emotions flit by, each writing a short story on Inuyasha's face. Reaching out one claw, he traced the line of Inuyasha's jaw. The ex-hanyou shuddered.

 

Did his brother really respect him for who he was, not what he had become? `Form, not substance' was probably the best answer he would ever receive on that subject, and he knew it. And although some people said, `sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me,' this wasn't entirely true. Name-calling and insults hurt, unless one had the confidence to believe in oneself. Inuyasha wasn't confident. He had always been full of bravado. True, with time, he had gained some self-assurance. But in certain situations, he still felt like he was standing on the edge of cliff, looking into an abyss, needing to bluff his way through whatever came next. He felt like that now. What did Sesshoumaru want from him?

 

Then, it hit him. The taiyoukai was waiting for him to decide. It was his choice, to stay or to go, to become more than they were now or allow things to remain as they had been. And this more than anything else made up his mind.

 

Leaning forward, he kissed his brother on the lips. Hard.