InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ By The River of Shadowed Moments ❯ Drowning in Seduction ( Chapter 6 )

Thanks goes to my new beta, Dragoninu.

“It lies deep inside
You can not hide
It's the meanest fire
Oh, it's a strange desire
You can not lie
That's a needless fight
This is where you sanity gives in
And love begins.”

“Paralyzed” by The Cardigans

By the River of Shadowed Moments

Chapter Six: Drowning in Seduction

Inuyasha watched Kagome carefully as she came back from the river where she had just bathed. He became concerned as she was clutched herself, shivering from the residual chill of the river. He frowned, realizing that Kagome took a lot of baths recently, especially since she had confessed about her involvement with Sesshoumaru. He had asked her why she took so many, and after being asked that, she got this dazed look in her eyes, overflowing with guilt.

“Because I feel dirty,” she said simply, making light of it and then joining the rest of the group. She masked her pain behind forced felicity, and Inuyasha knew she didn't mean just regular dirt, but dirtiness of the soul as well.

It had been three months and apparently, she was still beating herself up over what had happened with his brother. She was even more distant from him than ever before, and he noticed that she was drifting further and further apart from him. He didn't feel as close to her anymore, and it was as if she wanted it this way.

He tried many times to hold her. He would sneak up on her, grasping her from behind in quiet moments when the others were away. He tried less and less to yell at her, and he tried to be more concerned about her.

But every time he tried to hold her she looked as though she was going to cry and never stop.

He felt empathy for her, and he was scratching at his brain trying to figure out how he could help her - how he could heal her. He wanted to be close to her. He wanted things to be as they were before this mess.

Sango and Miroku seemed to forgive her quickly. They understood, even with their own flaws and internal demons, that holding grudges against their friend was just plain silly. If anything, they felt as though Kagome was more human now. Shippo stopped shying away from her too. He noticed that she was often disturbed, and Kagome would often clutch him close to her, desperate for his warmth and comfort.

Inuyasha only wished it was he that she would reach out to.

The fight with Naraku didn't seem to affect Kagome's moods. She treated it like a job and drew most of her focus from it. Inuyasha had noticed this, and he gathered that she wanted to concentrate more fully on this mission, detaching herself from progressing their relationship.

Their relationship had been so fruitful in the beginning, and now, since they had dealt with Sesshoumaru, it was less energetic. If anything, it was more like they were just good friends. This angered Inuyasha inwardly, but he tried to give Kagome her space and respect her wishes.

Fighting Naraku and Moryomaru was taxing enough on their time and energy, and they didn't have time to really delve into their relationship anyway.

However, Inuyasha vowed that one of these days when they were more relaxed, he would confront her. There was a point in time where he would give up on letting her have her space and try moving things along between them.

He was frustrated, mainly because his sword kept upgrading but didn't seem to be defeating his enemies. He was even more frustrated when Kagome's affections to him were less and less romantic and more like friendly concern.

`She treats me just like she would Miroku or Sango,' he inwardly huffed as he watched her at the campfire. Miroku had bruised his arm, and she was wrapping his wounds tenderly. Sango was watching Miroku closely for idle hands, and Kagome didn't care one way or another to Miroku's behavior. He was her friend for a long time, and she had already accepted him.

And that was the same way that Kagome treated him. Somewhere down the road, Kagome's regard for him changed, and now he was worried that they would grow further and further apart.

A scene flashed through his mind of an ending battle with Kagome leaving through the well, never to return to him.

Would she leave him behind once this was over?

“I'll stay by your side, Inuyasha.”

He knew that times were changing, but did she mean her promise anymore? He was inwardly frightened. She had told him that one night that she would just go back home and leave him to Kikyo, and even though he said that he didn't plan on being with Kikyo anymore, she never really said whether or not she had changed her mind about that.

`How does she feel about me?' He pursed his lips as he stared down at her from a tree branch. Soon it would be bedtime, and he noticed that everyone in the group was getting sleepy and ready to settle down for the night.

Inuyasha stayed in the tree to think. And he seemed to be always thinking, mostly about Kagome.

Though one thing tugged at his soul, and he didn't know why. Had Sesshoumaru ever felt anything for her? It worried him that there possibly could have been something more between them than just the deal. He even thought it was strange that Kagome herself was convinced Sesshoumaru felt something.

He scoffed. He never thought his brother could have such feelings, but he had seen the look in his eyes when he was with her. There was something indefinable there, but something that undoubtedly concerned him.

Impossible! There was no way his brother could feel anything for Kagome, a human! He tried very hard to discredit the doubt in his gut, but it always seemed to recycle over and over in his daily thoughts.

“I'm going to go take a bath, you guys,” Kagome announced, and Inuyasha's ears twitched. She had taken a bath just this morning, and now this was becoming a daily thing with her. It was actually starting to annoy him.

He watched as Kagome descended into the heart of the forest to a nearby hot spring. On a quick impulse, he waited until she was gone from his sight, and he bounded down from the trees. Miroku and Sango were already settled into their bedding, and Inuyasha heard Shippo's sleepy snore. Kirara mewled as she realized Inuyasha was awake and moving around.

He put a finger over his lips to quiet her, and he stalked off from camp in Kagome's direction.

When he came to the clearing where Kagome was bathing, he stopped and watched as he heard her humming and saw her splashing water over herself. The light from the fireflies and the half moon illuminated her porcelain skin in his view. He inhaled his breath at the sight.

His eyes widened, and he couldn't help it anymore. He began tugging off his robes, feeling heat consume his entire body.

It was now or never. He had to see if she still loved him. He had to find out if she still thought he was more than a friend.

He had to know if she would still stay with him forever.

~*~

She heard the water shift and splash behind her. She turned around, tensing her muscles. Her eyes widened when she realized who it was.

It was not the person she expected.

“Inuyasha!” Color rose to her cheeks as she looked at him. He was nude and standing before her, watching her with serious eyes. She was terrified to look further down on his body, and she inched away as he waded closer to her.

“Kagome…” Her name was like fine satin over his lips, and she almost swooned.

She swallowed a lump in her throat and felt anxiety tighten in her stomach. Why was he here? This was not a good situation.

“Wha - What are you doing here? Get away!” she cried desperately, feeling cornered against a rock. She could go no farther and he was still closing in on her.

“Kagome listen to me,” he said. She looked even more terrified. Was she really that scared of him?

“Kagome, do you hate me?” he asked bluntly. If he was going to ask her, he might as well come out and do it.

Her stiff shoulders slacked, and he heard her sigh. She looked away from him, but didn't seem that scared any more. She continued to cover herself from him.

“Of course I don't hate you, Inuyasha. But why are you here?” She seemed exasperated and not ready to handle her rising emotions. “What did you think you could get from me by coming here like this?”

She heard the water rustle as he stomped over to her, taking her by the shoulders. She was forced to look into his fierce eyes.

He snarled at her. “I came here because I wanted to know if you still care about me! All you do is mope around and cry how you're dirty, and when we're together, you shun me! I told you I wanted to be with you and not Kikyo, and yet here you are, avoiding me and stomping on my feelings like they don't even matter!”

Kagome winced at his tone and the sharpness of his words. He was right. She had been avoiding him and his feelings, and she could tell he took her recent actions very painfully. She didn't know how to fix things. She was still very confused. She felt she still loved him, but she also felt like she was falling in love with Sesshoumaru as well.
“I do love you. I'm just not ready yet,” she choked out. He saw tears form at the sides of her eyes. “I promise I'll come around, just not now. I don't feel comfortable yet. I -“

“Do you love him?” he lashed at her, and she felt sharpness as he squeezed his claws into her arms. His eyes were raging with jealousy and hurt. “Are you pretending to love me when you actually love him? Don't lie to me, Kagome.”

“Please, Inuyasha, let go. You're hurting me,” she cried softly, struggling weakly to get free of him. He continued to hold her strongly.

“I don't want to lose you, Kagome. Not to him,” he said painfully, loosening his grip and crushing her body against his in a desperate embrace. He ran his fingers through her wet hair.

Kagome relaxed and sniffled as he held her. She held him in return, not caring that their wet naked bodies were flush against each other. He started to rub his hands down her bare arms and then down her back, caressing the groove at her tail bone. He broke away slightly to look into her eyes. He reached up a finger and wiped away her tears trailing down her cheek.

“Stay with me, Kagome,” he said huskily, but his eyes were more intense than ever. He felt his blood heat up, and he wished to dominate her and take her, here and now in the haven of this forest.

Her eyes widened as his face leaned in closer to her. She felt a cold chill rising from her stomach, and her shoulders tensed as he touched her tenderly. A long time ago, she had dreamt of this moment, but now so much had changed.

“Inuyasha…” she whispered in a cry half full of desperation and half of want. He dipped down and kissed her, sealing her voice. He pushed his tongue past her lips and pushed into her, swirling around his tongue in her mouth with dominance.

She moaned, and suddenly she felt dizzy, weak to submit to Inuaysha's touch. She felt something hard rub against her in the water, and she felt a trickle of arousal burst within her core.

She opened her eyes slightly, only to see silver hair in her view. Her mind felt numb momentarily, and she inwardly called out his name.

`Sesshoumaru…'

She stiffened when she realized what she had done, whose name that was laced over her brain. She broke from Inuyasha's kiss and removed his hands from over her breasts.

“Stop!” she ordered, and backed away from his embrace. “Um…that's enough, Inuyasha.”

She looked over at him and turned away quickly. He looked dejected, but she couldn't think of anything else to do to make him feel better. She felt shamed to know that she had thought of someone else when she felt that she was supposed to be with Inuyasha.

If she wasn't confused before, she was now, more than ever.

They stood there in the silence, only hearing the mild running of the cool river over their skin.

“Um… truthfully, Inuyasha, I don't know what to think anymore. I'm so confused,” she whimpered, but at least it was the truth.

He turned away from her, careful not to look into her face. He clenched his fists and scrunched his brow in anger.

“I just need time,” she finally added.

“You always say that,” he said in a dejected voice. “I'll wait for you, and I won't lose you to him.”

Kagome looked up at him, shocked. He seemed to be convinced that she had residual feelings for his brother, that there was something odd and mysterious there. His intuition wasn't far from the truth.

“I'll go now,” he finally said, sighing in a small voice. She looked away and heard the water move audibly as he shifted through it to the bank. She sighed when she looked up to see him gone, disappearing deep into the forest back to camp.

Tears fell down her face, and she winced as pain shot through her heart like gaping bullet holes. She felt like sitting down and submerging herself into the water never to resurface.
She silenced her sobs as she choked on water, and when she felt the burn of water over her lungs, she coughed uncontrollably producing another fit of sobs.

She closed her eyes and tried to erase those recent moments from her mind. A year ago she would have just been in heaven if Inuyasha had come to her in the night to surprise her while she bathed.

But things were not like that now.

Her feelings were different, and she didn't know it, but she was trying really hard to prevent herself from choosing between them. She was trying so hard to live this fairytale like she was supposed to, to be with Inuyasha. She tried to deny the change, that things were no longer about fairytales.

She had made the decision to make a deal with Sesshoumaru long ago, and she had been prepared to live with the consequences.

She thought she could deal with the consequences, but she never guessed she would fall in love with him.

And admitting that was harder than admitting that her feelings were futile. She knew there was no future with the dog demon lord. She could not deny her feelings and just settle for Inuyasha. That wouldn't be fair. In the long run, it seemed her future happiness was doomed, and she just didn't know what to do.

~*~

When he found her, she was sitting on the riverbank staring into space, sniffling once in awhile and wiping at long dried tears.

He stalked over to her softly, and he sniffed. His face contorted in anger when he realized what scent was laced over this river mixing with hers.

“He came to you,” he said softly, breaking her out her reverie. She looked up at him, wide-eyed and exhausted from her crying and anxiety. She nodded to his statement, and then she heard him growl.

Before she could blink, he was holding her in his arms, trying to get close to her and rub the smell off her. He clutched her upper arms and she winced. He looked down to see faint bruises on her flesh.

“Did he try to use force?” he hissed at her. She looked down and shook her head. She then fell into his chest like a limp doll.

“Kagome,” he said in a soft voice, and she closed her eyes at the tranquil sound it made in her ears. “You need to tell me what happened.”

“He came, and he went,” she said simply. He was irritated with her vague answers.

She felt him trace a clawed finger over her lips. He looked straight into her eyes and said, “He touched you. He touched your lips.” He saw tears brimming in her eyes.

He then slammed her against a rock, and she cried in pain as the jagged grooves of the surface scraped against her back. Her mouth trembled from fear and sadness.

“He touched what is mine.”

“Please, Sesshoumaru. We didn't do anything. I stopped him before he could -“

His eyes were brilliant red now, swirling with possessive fury. He clamped his hands on her shoulders with dominance, and then turned and licked her lips and trailed a patch of saliva over her jaw.

“If he dares touch you again, I swear Kagome, I will kill him.” He was trying to hold back his madness as his blood simmered violently at the idea that someone had touched what was his. Someone - his brother, had almost violated his woman. He had almost taken what he possessed. Wasn't it enough that he had their father's precious sword?

Then, Sesshoumaru settled his fury, reminding himself that he did not love Kagome, and he knew that his brother loved her. It was not uncommon for his brother to approach her, but deep down within him, he felt it was wrong.

“He stopped,” Kagome swallowed, terrified at the war that was raging within Sesshoumaru before her. “He stopped because he thinks I love you.”

Sesshoumaru froze and did not look at her right away. He felt his blood was turning to ice. He didn't say anything to that, mainly because this topic had been trying to filter itself into his mind while he would rather avoid it. He was neither prepared to deal with an admission of his affections nor one of hers either.

“Does he know?” He could help to admit that he was a little worried. If his brother knew that Kagome and he were meeting again, they may excommunicate her. She would go home, and he would perhaps never see her. More than that, he actually felt with even her small amount of power, she was important to the mission against Naraku. He'd be forced to take her with him, and Kagome would be a liability, and his enemies would just love to use her against him, especially since she was human. Kagome would be devastated again and shunned by her friends. He was almost afraid she'd hurt herself, or worse, leave him and never come back.

“No,” she finally said. “He thinks I avoid him because I have feelings for you from the first time. He thinks I don't want him.”

He moved closer to her, rubbing his naked body against hers and nuzzling against her nose. His voice rang silkily. “Do you?”

Kagome closed her eyes and felt her blood heating. She felt warmth as Sesshoumaru leaned and blanketed her with his hot breath. She felt him nip at her neck. She inhaled a chunk of breath as she lifted her hands and started rubbing them over his arms and back.

“I - I'm not sure anymore. I feel I have to want him. I feel I should love him,” she whispered, her voice choking back tears. “But…”

“But?” he asked, licking her ear and tracing his tongue over the shell of it. She whimpered when he took hold of it in his mouth and tugged playfully at it. She felt his hands roam over her breasts, squeezing them and tracing circles over the nipples. She melted against him, her hands running frantically through his silver tendrils of hair.

“When he kissed me, I opened my eyes to see silver hair, and all I could think of was saying your name,” she cried, trying to be ashamed but not succeeding.

It was what he wanted to hear though, and he smirked against her skin. She was undoubtedly his.

He moved a finger between her legs and put it inside her. She sighed as he stroked her, in and out, rubbing against the bundle of nerves that keyed her pleasure.

He pushed against her rigidly, and she knew he would take her tonight with more force than before because of what had happened with Inuyasha. Neither one of them said `I love you' but they knew they needed each other. They needed to see each other's faces, touch skin and blanket each other with their own scent.

He reached down and opened her legs, leaning her back against the rock and guiding himself flush inside her. She moaned, and he rocked with the water as he built up his speed and rhythm within her.

She was addicted to him, to his flawless skin, to his shape, his smooth silky hair, and his unearthly eyes. And when he stole away the evenings to be with her, she had to catch her breath and keep her hands from pinching herself so she would wake from this dream. When she held him in her lap or he held her in his arms, time disappeared.

She would stroke her fragile human fingers over the violet markings on his body, and he would lay contently with her, closing his eyes and wrapping her into a hot molding embrace. When he held her like that, there were no such things as wells and scary monsters. There were no such things as missions and pink jewels of strife.

He was here, and she wanted to think he was hers.

And she thought of him that way as he pounded into her, feeling her ecstasy and love rise up and fizz at the top, ready to shoot forth in a cataclysmic burst of ardor.

She felt the whole of him, filled within her and pushing past muscles shaping to his will. She moaned and panted as she felt him slide against her nerves, electrifying her pores beyond their limits. The water of the lake between them was warm, bubbling around them and encasing them in their own matrix of heat.

“Sesshoumaru…” She could say it as much as she could feel it.

He grunted, loving the way she fit around him, spiraling around his form like hot metal. He watched her fascination as her face read every throb with elation and joy, pain and anxiety, and most of all … love.

“Never fall in love with a human, my son.” He heard his mother's words echo in his mind.

Kagome cried out, her face flushed and contorted with fulfillment. He looked at her, still pounding into her and letting his muscles drive automatically. She shivered over him, her body full of residual spasms as she slowly bobbed over him. He watched with amazement as she met his eyes straight on and gave him a serene and content smile as his reward.

And when he saw her smile like that while wrapped around him, nothing else mattered. Not power or vengeance, and now, not even the ancient words of his long dead mother could stop his feelings.

`I'm sorry, mother,' he said inwardly, and his body shook in a quick harsh spasm, and he exhaled, filling Kagome with himself physically, and for the first time, emotionally.

Kagome looked at him curiously, as if she saw something different swirl in his eyes. He looked at her clearly and tenderly, the red anger and stoic placidity gone.

He appeared raw and bare, and not just physically, but in other ways she had never seen.

“Sesshoumaru?” She questioned, and he wrapped her into his arms quickly and snugly. She dutifully embraced him back. He panted from exertion in her ear and continued to clutch her as if he never wanted to let her go.

He hated to admit it. He hated how things had turned out against his will, but this woman was important to him. He felt something for her, something he never felt for any other female before in his life.

She was the only woman that could prompt him to silence the voice of his mother in his mind. She was the only woman that changed everything he felt about humans. He felt strange now that his feelings were loose inside him and no longer suppressed.

He didn't know what to say to her. He only knew that he wanted to hold her. Her mutual touch was the only indication to him that she was falling in love with him too.

~*~

Deep within the shadows of the bushes of their peaceful scene, the leaves rustled faintly. Something was watching them with great interest, and it was so small and elusive that Sesshoumaru's exhausted senses didn't even detect it.

For many minutes it watched them silently as they held each other and stole the evening of a beautiful moment. Their viewer was undoubtedly sure that the couple was sharing something special, but in the long run secretive.

The tiny voyeur shook its head, and quietly took off near the heart of the forest, leaving the midnight lovers behind.

TBC…

AN: This fic is going off of hiatus, so Chapter Seven should be done soon!