InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Cannot Be Broken ❯ That Thing You Do ( Chapter 17 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

They trudged in silence for some time, both lost in their own thoughts. InuYasha glanced periodically back at the girl and saw she held up pretty good and without complaint. For some reason, he appreciated her stamina, and her silence.

His own thoughts were in too much of a jumble for him to even rationalize a conversation.

She knew it was me. And yet she cared for me. She walks with me without fear, and finally without hate. But does she care for me? She said she knew the truth of how I felt, and that she felt the same. Does she really know how I feel for her? We never spoke of it.

InuYasha shook his head.

Is it something that needs to be said? I was never good at this shit. But after all that has happened, shouldn't something be said? We fought more than we talked. Even after what we have done, we are still where we began. Strangers.

InuYasha sighed softly.

Strangers. No, we were never strangers, were we. For some reason, I feel I have always known her, but always at arms reach. We were objects of circumstance, torn by trust and truth.

He glanced back at her and watched as she stepped into his footsteps in the snow. He smiled slightly in spite of himself and looked ahead.

So where are we now? What do I do now? I feel I don't know anything about her, but still I want nothing but her. How can she consume me so much? And all I know is what she is. Kagome, adopted daughter of my brother, a miko… my mate. But that's it. Why was she adopted? What other powers does she have? The other day, Miroku had told me to be wary of her. He said her powers were strong and undisciplined. But there was more. The monk was afraid. He said she was unnatural in her powers. He couldn't explain it. Now, I believe him. Now I understand. She has the power to hold me at bay, she can see the demon death messengers, she can tame wild animals with a touch, and she can make me feel retribution for all that I have done when I feel I should have none. But there is more, and the monk can feel it, and now I can too. What is she hiding? What else is she capable of? Does she even know?

He glimpsed at her in the corner of his eye. She was trailing her hand along a branch and her face held a quiet calm.

I can do nothing but wait. And it infuriates me! As much as I want to know, I'm fucked, because I'm not sure what there is to know! The only hint I have is from this damned necklace! I can feel portions of her power. I can taste what she is capable of. The wall of force, the instincts she binds herself to… and that light. When we kissed, when she touched the necklace, I saw such blinding light! Such raw emotion. Does she see that? Feel that? It is not just the connection with the necklace. I don't possess that kind of power. Does she know what it is? What else is she hiding? Kagome, what are you really?

He clenched his fist and growled softly.

What am I to you? You, who so doubted my truth. You, who has not been truthful to me. What else do you keep from me?

~~~

Kagome walked quietly behind him. She could see in the stiff manner that he walked that he did not want to be spoken to. She felt wary, but appreciated the silence.

She knew he was thinking, and it worried her slightly of where his thoughts were heading. She could feel confusion and slight anger coming from him. She watched him silently as she followed along in his footsteps, only to have her own thoughts take over.

Is he mad at me? Have I done something to make him feel guarded? Was it last night? Was it today?

She searched her memory for any action that could warrant his mood. But something else was pushing her mind to her own troubled thoughts.

We had kissed again, but this time it was different. This time I was not blinded by the light and emotion of my surroundings. I kissed him and I was normal.

She almost sighed a breath of relief.

Normal. Is it possible that what ever was happening is now over? Maybe I don't have anything to fear after all. Maybe I could finally be able to be with him and not be afraid.

She frowned.

But still. Why did it go? Why did I not see it this time? What was it?

As much as it was a weight taken from her shoulders, the fact that after all this time it was now gone, it worried her.

Is it gone? The light, the feelings… the connections?

Hesitantly she reached out to touch a nearby branch, stroking it, coaxing whatever dormant power to show face. A slight twinge filtered into her fingers and the trees around her sprung to live and she could see them sharper and clearer than ever before. She was washed over with a silent calm of the sleeping trees.

Letting go, Kagome gasped slightly.

It's still here. I still feel it, but I can control it. I'm not overwhelmed or taken over by it. How is this possible? What had happened? Could it be possible the rosary…? But how? And why? I know it has something to do with it. The first time when I touched the necklace, it made the world right again, and now, when we kissed, nothing happened like it did before. No, something did, I felt….

Kagome flushed.

Savage, like I was an animal hungry for its mate. This must be what InuYasha feels. I know it is. It's like when I felt his aura in the stable. I felt like I was a demon wanting….

Kagome paled.

Oh shit no! If I felt what he… could he have seen…?

Kagome stopped and stared at his back as he kept walking.

His eyes, I remember his eyes when we…. They looked as if he was in shock! Then when I let go of the rosary, he blinked and…. Oh Gods! Please no! How can I possibly explain?! I can't! Not until we get to Otou-san's! Not until I know what has been happening! Maybe it was nothing… maybe….

InuYasha turned when he had heard her stop. He looked at her confused and annoyed. She seemed scared. His heart jumped slightly and he walked over to her.

“Kagome?” He frowned.

Kagome's head shot up to look at him. She seemed to pale just by watching him.

InuYasha looked around quickly to make sure all was safe before looking at her again. She had cast her eyes down quickly from his gaze.

“Are you okay? What's wrong?” He asked.

Kagome looked up at him quickly and opened her mouth to say something but then sighed. “Nothing.” Maybe he didn't see anything.

He gave her a hard look. “Its not nothing, you look like something's wrong.”

Kagome looked behind her then back at him. Make up something quick! “Oh, it's really nothing, just Taiga….” Her eyes shot wide open. “Oh shit! What happened to Taiga? I left him at the river!” She turned and tried to run back where they came.

InuYasha jumped and landed in front on her.

“It's pointless to head back now!” He growled. “Besides, that horse took off long before we awoke. From the smell this morning it may have headed back to the manor.”

“But….” Kagome's eyes looked behind him.

“Kagome, that horse was wild until you came along. I'm sure it could handle itself just fine.” InuYasha crossed his arms and looked past her. Damn, we're never going to make it if we keep stalling like this. “Come on, we have a long way ahead.” He walked past her to follow the trail they were walking along.

Kagome nodded. She turned to follow. “Ah fuck!” She groaned in realization.

InuYasha turned and gave her an exasperated growl. “What now?”

Kagome crossed her arms and trudged past him. “I left my bow and quiver on him, as well as some rations. We have nothing to eat on the way there. And I have no way of protecting us.”

InuYasha walked beside her and flexed his claws. “I see no problem with any of that.”

“Well, that's just great, mighty hunter. And how will we cook it? All the wood is wet.” Kagome fumed. “And I rather have my own protection in case you go running off again.” She mumbled beneath her breath.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” InuYasha jumped in front of her and cracked his claws menacingly.

Kagome looked up at him, her eyes flashed dark grey. “A certain bear comes to mind.”

InuYasha paled then his eyes turned a brilliant amber. “You blame me for that?”

Kagome looked at him angrily. “No, you idiot! Just that if I get caught alone again, this time I have nothing to fend anything off!”

InuYasha growled. “Well, even when you did have your weapons, you were totally useless! That bear still attacked!”

Kagome's mouth dropped. “That's only because I couldn't sense the damn thing!”

“Keh. You can hear can't you?” InuYasha spat out.

“Yes, I heard it!” Kagome's eyes filled with angry tears remembering. “But there was nothing malicious coming from it! From what I could tell, its aura was suppressed! I thought it was you! But now looking back on it, I should have shot at it knowing it was you or not!” Kagome stormed past him.

InuYasha stood stunned before turning to her retreating form. “Hey!”

“What?!” Kagome yelled back, still stalking away from him.

“Why… why are you crying?” He followed behind her.

“I'm not crying!” Kagome wiped her eyes furiously, refusing to look at him.

“Yes, you are!” He ran up beside her.

She looked at him furiously, her eyes red and watery. “No, I'm not!”

“Was it because I said you're useless?” He asked contritely.

Kagome opened her mouth in shock. “What? No! And I'm not crying so quit tormenting me!”

InuYasha looked at her, his ears flicking back and forth in uncertainty. “Are… are you crying about the bear?”

Kagome growled. “What is with you?! Can't you just drop it?!”

InuYasha searched her face. “Why are you crying over an animal that almost killed you?!”

Kagome stopped and turned angry eyes at him. “Because it didn't want to.”

“What?!” InuYasha stood beside her in confusion.

Kagome looked everywhere but at him. She sighed. “It's nothing. Drop it.”

InuYasha's eyes narrowed. “It didn't want to? What's that mean?”

“Nothing!” Kagome brushed past him.

He grabbed her arm. “Bullshit! I know you can sense them when you want to. I saw what you did with that horse! You did sense something from the bear. That's why you didn't shoot it, right? Are you just feeling inadequate that maybe your sense was wrong?”

Kagome tried to yank her arm from his grasp but he held on tight. “No, now let me go.”

InuYasha pulled her closer to him and hissed. “Stop hiding this from me! I know you have powers you keep from me, and I want you to tell me now!”

Kagome looked up at him astonished. What does he know?

“Answer me!” He shook her arm quickly.

“I… I don't know.” Kagome looked up at him imploringly.

InuYasha looked drained all of a sudden. “Please, Kagome. You're not alone in this anymore.”

Kagome searched his eyes. He was right. As much as she could deny it, he was a part of her life, and suddenly, she wanted him to be. He should know what she could do, well, for the moment what she knew she could do.

She looked at the rosary. And she wasn't alone in this anymore. Now with the rosary, he had everything to do with her powers as she did his. She shook her head.

“I can't tell you all of it, because I don't know all of it.” Kagome whispered.

InuYasha sighed and looked around. “Come on.” He let go of her arm and walked up the trail to a large glen. An old well was dug in the middle of it. He sat on the lip of it.

Kagome followed and sat beside him.

InuYasha looked ahead. “Tell me what you do know.”

Kagome sighed and wrapped her mantle around her tighter. She shrugged. “At first, I had the powers of an ordinary miko. The ability to heal with medicines, see the death messengers, purify evil miasma, and read auras.”

InuYasha's eyes widened slightly. Whoa. “Go on.”

“When I lived with Sesshomaru, I was trained in these powers by Kikyo, a very powerful miko. She even taught me how to use my aura to subdue others' auras. That's how I am able to hold the wall. I have the ability to push my spiritual strength against another. Being a miko, of course my spiritual strength would be stronger than others.” Kagome smiled slightly.

InuYasha growled faintly. “And all mikos can do this?”

Kagome nodded. “I guess so. Kikyo trained me, so I assumed as much, though I have never seen her do much of it. But then again, she's very disciplined and never used her powers unless needed. She was always lecturing me about how I should never be so bold in using my own.”

InuYasha nodded. “And reading auras? What does that do?”

Kagome looked thoughtful. “Well, it's supposed to tell you about a person. You see, one's life force is like looking at one's heart. Well, no, I guess that's what it's exactly like and more. A person's aura can tell me more than if a person harbours good or bad intentions, it can also tell me if they are sick, or how they are feeling based on their thoughts.”

“So you can pretty much tell everything you need to know about someone.” InuYasha looked down.

Kagome shook her head. “No. For instance, I can't read a person's mind, just how they feel when they think something. And that only works if I care to believe it.” She blushed. “As you know, I tend to over analyze and not listen to reason.”

InuYasha smirked. “Keh, would have saved us some trouble.”

Kagome looked down and nodded softly.

“What else?” InuYasha murmured.

“What else?” Kagome looked confused.

“Yeah. What else can you do?”

Kagome bit her lip and studied him warily. “Well, I can read instincts and manipulate them.”

InuYasha raised a brow. “Huh?”

“Like with animals. That's how I was able to tame Taiga. I can change how they feel about me, get them to trust and know me.”

“How the fuck can you do that?” He looked bewildered.

Kagome shrugged. “Animals are not bound by inhibition or rationalization. They are based on instinct, you know, survival. I just make myself not a threat to them. I touch their souls so they know me and therefore trust me. Sometimes even have them want to protect or befriend me. That is why I was hindered by the bear.”

InuYasha looked at her. “What do you mean?”

Kagome frowned. “It was weird. At first, I could sense a presence and it felt unnatural. That's why I thought it was you.”

“Gee, thanks.”

Kagome grinned softly as she contemplated what she remembered. “No, like, it wasn't an animal, it wasn't instinctual. But then it was gone. But I could hear it moving in the woods. I got my bow out, but still couldn't tell what it was. I knew you could suppress your aura, so I thought it was you, trying to scare me, to get back at me for our argument. Then the bear shot out of nowhere and pinned me to the ground. I tried to reach into it, but I hurt too much and I couldn't concentrate. Then you came and killed it.”

InuYasha looked away. “I hope you're not pissed that I did that. It was going to kill you, you know.”

Kagome nodded. “Yes, it would have, but it wasn't its intention.”

He regarded her carefully. “How can you be sure of that? It's just an animal. You said yourself it doesn't rationalize, that it's based on instinct.”

“Yes.” Kagome knitted her brow. “But I sensed something when it died.”

“When it died?” He scoffed. “Is that why you were trying to pet it?”

Kagome rolled her eyes. “I wasn't trying to pet it, idiot. It's… it's hard to explain. When it died, I felt its soul, and… I don't know… felt like it was shocked that I was there, and about what happened. It just didn't seem to be of its own mind. But then it changed, it became peaceful and I knew it didn't want to hurt me. I was just sad it happened the way it did.”

InuYasha shook his head. “This is too fucked up for words.”

Kagome cast her gaze at him. “You don't believe me.”

InuYasha shook his head. “No, not that, just… it's a bit unbelievable that you can manipulate instinct. I mean, how does that work?”

Kagome flicked her gaze at him. “Here, give me your hand.” She reached out her hand.

“Why?” He looked at her sceptically.

“I just want to show you something.” She huffed.

He scowled at her in annoyance and held out his hand.

Kagome gently placed her fingertips onto his own. “Normally, it was only animals I could read, but now….” She closed her eyes and concentrated, finding again the quiet darkness, and felt the pulse in his fingertips. So softly she could feel his insecurities, doubts, fears, anger, betrayal and hate. They all mingled and swirled with each other that she was amazed she would single out one emotion from the next. She then centred her calm within his wracked passions and eased them away, bringing forth only one emotion, tranquility.

She opened her eyes to look into his. His eyes were closed and his mouth opened slightly.

She lifted her fingers from his hand and smiled softly as he opened his eyes to her.

“Oh.” Was all he could say.

Kagome's smile faded, as she got lost in her thoughts. She looked down at her feet in the snow.

“How?” He whispered.

Kagome shook her head. “I don't know. I never knew I could do that before.”

“Why?” He moved closer beside her.

Again she shook her head. “I don't know.”

He looked as if he wanted to say more, but not sure what.

She searched his face and breathed. “It started when… I met you.”

“Me?” He murmured.

She nodded softly. “And I don't know anymore than that.”

InuYasha was quiet. The effects of her touch and the calm she placed in him were still strong in him. He felt protective over her, like she was the air he had to breathe. He wasn't sure what it is he wanted to say or do, just that he wanted to sit here with her and just be for the moment.

“InuYasha?”

He grunted.

She was silent.

He turned to see her looking down the well. “What?”

“Are you afraid of me?” She whispered.

His eyes widened. “Should I be?”

“Yes.” A low voice answered. “You should be.”

Both turned quickly to see a figure standing several yards away, concealed by a white baboon skin.