InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Choatic ❯ Sexy Surprises ( Chapter 1 )

Title: Sexy SurprisesAuthor: Nicluv1787Rating: Adult, M, R (which ever you prefer)Characters/Pairings: Miroku and Sango, Kagome and Inuyasha make an appearance. Genre: ComedyWord Count: 900Summary: Miroku has a surprise for Sango
A/N: My first post to the comm., I had a lot of fun writing it so I have you have fun reading it.

Grasping the bark of the tree tightly Miroku looked both ways before scuttling along to the next tree. Inspecting the surround area for any possible interlopers, he glanced over his shoulder a final time before sinking to the ground at the base of the tree.
Finally satisfied he was alone Miroku cautiously reached into his robes, his hands shaking with excitement. He extracted a bright red stocking trimmed with faux white fur the stocking was full and oddly shaped. Miroku greedily stripped the stocking of its contents tossing the stocking aside carelessly. In his hands he held a small paper bound book, staring at its cover with hungry eyes Miroku scanned it only momentarily before violently opening it, he flipped through the pages like an eager child with a new toy.
The surrounding forest was silent punctuated by his occasional comments, “Of course,” “I’ve done that,” “never done that” and “I’d like to do that.” After a while Miroku’s paced steadied and his over eager attitude wore off, transforming into a more studious approach to the book.
Turning a page Miroku paused, he glared at the page, his brows furrowed, his mouth turned down at the corners.
“What the...” he mumbled. He turned the book length wise nodded, smiled and then continued.
He read for several more minutes in silence, with a few excited chuckles and more than a few lecherous smirks. He was nearly halfway through the paperback book when he paused. A triumphant smiled pulled at his lips.
“Sexy surprises huh?” he mumbled under his breath, he read the section several times slowly before a devilish grin played upon his features. He scooped up the discarded stocking and placed it and the book back into his robe before heading back to the village, he had a plan.

O.O.O.O.O

The day was nearly half over and Sango hadn’t seen Miroku since mid-day of the previous day. Shortly after Kagome had passed out their Christmas stockings with gifts from her time, Miroku had disappeared. Concerned he had gotten into trouble Sango had been patrolling the village, after several hours of searching she was still unable to locate him and she was growing concerned for an entirely different reason. ‘I swear if I find him flirting with village girls.”
Her murderous thoughts were cut short when she heard her name called out.
“Sango there you are.” Miroku hailed her, running up he looked exceptional haggard heavy purple bags hung beneath his eyes and Sango noticed his fingers were bandaged as he waved at her.
“Where have you been Houshi?” Sango said irritated, though she was relieved to find him unharmed or deserving harm.
“My deepest apologies my lady Sango, I’ve been working on a present just for you.” Miroku said eagerly.
“You got me a present?” The taijiya couldn’t help the blush that graced her cheeks. “Where is it?” she said after realizing he wasn’t holding any obvious present.
“Right here.” Miroku said grinning as he revealed the bright red Christmas stocking hiding beneath a fold of his robe.
Sango was momentarily baffled at how closely Miroku held the festive object to his body but the moment passed. “What is it?” Sango said elatedly.
“Reach in and find out.” Miroku said barely suppressing a snicker.
The taijiya reached into the stocking impatiently. Her hand was greeted by a long warm shaft; baffled Sango gripped the thick shaft, ‘What is this?’ She wondered. She stroked it up in down, and the shaft twitched in response, a small groan escape from Miroku’s lips at the same time. It was then that realization dawned on her. She turned a murderous gaze on the houshi whom she held with a firm grip.
Catching her glare Miroku tried to escape stammering. “S-Sango I can explain.”

O.O.O.O.O.O
A few feet away Inuyasha and Kagome were enjoying a leisurely lunch in Keade’s hut, when a loud crash caught the pair’s attention, ending their relaxation.
“What was that?” Inuyasha said jumping to attention Tetesaiga in hand.
“I don’t know, I thought I heard Miroku.” Kagome said as Inuyasha rushed out the door.
A few feet away they found a man sized crater with Sango straddling it, her Hiraikotsu posed above her head ready for another strike.
“What are you doing?” Inuyasha shouted, tearing Sango’s focus from killing the monk.
“That-that- Pervert!” Sango shouted her body shaking with rage, Kagome rushed to her side lowering her arms.
“What did that lecher do now?” Inuyasha said aggravated, he sheathed Tetesaiga.
“He-he-he” Sango gulped her face turning bright red, “he tricked me into grabbing a hold of his ‘staff’
“His staff?” Kagome said confused.
“Where the hell did you get an idea like that?” Inuyasha said coming to crouch near Miroku’s crater.
“I read it in the book Kagome gave me.” He mumbled his mouth half full of dirt.
“Wench, what kind of book did you give him?” Inuyasha said rounding on Kagome.
“It was just a sex tips book,” Kagome said finally up to speed. “I skimmed it, and I don’t remember anything about that.”
Inuyasha raised an intrigued brow; he would have to ask more about that later. “Take Sango back to Keade’s hut, I’ll deal with the lecher.”
Inuyasha waited until the girls were out of ear shot before squatting down beside the flattened monk.
“So, was it worth it?”
“Totally worth it.” Miroku said with a lecherous grin.


A/N: Inspired by one of my favorite holiday songs, ‘My Dick in a Box’ by Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg. If you haven’t seen it you can see it here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsR5K61xUlo&feature=PlayList&p=EFE77 7177A25EA63&index=0