InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Chou Shoki I: Learning from Yesterday ❯ Chapter 5 ( Chapter 4 )

CHAPTER 5

 

FLASHBACK

 

The monk watched as she came out of hiding and stand still there looking at him before closing her eyes. The little miko crossed her arms as if hugging herself. The wind stilled, but the sky darkened, as he saw her aura radiating from around her. It surprised him to see such display of power and control in this child. The sky began to thunder, foreshadowing what was to come. As if on cue, she opened her arms and what she was holding back was released. A bright blue light branched out from her small form, purifying everything that it encountered. Even the monk had to put up a barrier as to not be killed by it. When, it passed him, he opened his eyes and wiped drops of sweat he did not know he had. The child, once seeing he was fine, gave a small smile and passed out.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I awoke later that evening on my futon. Tanaka-sensei was kneeling next to me. He told me what happened. As I listened to him, I could not believe what he told me. By his tone, I could tell that he was also mildly impressed. That gave me a little confidence.

 

END OF FLASHBACK

 

Well, at least, I wouldn't have to worry about this jewel for long. That evening, father had told me during dinner that in six years he would be revealing the `official' protector. It had been the best news in a long time. Six more years, and I would be rid of this. I knew it was wrong to think like this. Especially since the jewel held within it my own mother's soul. I should be the one protecting it. Nevertheless, something deep inside my own soul, told me that it would only bring me suffering and misfortune. I hated to think that my mother's fate would follow me too. No, I would not make the same mistakes. I would die first!

 

I stepped out of my bath, tossing over my body a silk pearl yukata that had been left for me. I didn't even bother drying my body or my hair. As I made my way to my bed and passing next to a huge mirror, I took notice of something before completely tying my yukata. I walked closer to the mirror. I squinted my eyes to see if what I had seen was true. I opened my yukata a bit.

 

“How did THAT happen?”

 

I couldn't believe it. I rubbed my finger on it in order to see if it was probably something else that caused it to look so...so DARK! I ran my finger again through my birthmark. It was a one-inch pink butterfly-shaped mark on my lower left inner hip area, more or less. However, it was now almost a dark maroon color. I had seen the same dark color on my mother's shoulder. When my mother first mentioned it to me, she had said that it would probably never darken and stay the same pink color. Yet, it was now different. I was, after all, still growing. Better not worry about it. I shrugged and closed my yukata. For now, I needed sleep. The eighteen-day trip back home had taken its toll on me and I was in much need of rest. Ignoring the comfortably prepared futon, I grabbed a small blanket and lay in the corner to sleep.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I awoke to a familiar caress to my aura. It was one that I had missed more than anything since my departure from home six years ago. My eyes opened slowly, confused for only a second before I took notice that this was not the floor of the small heya (room) that had been my home in the monastery. I sat up and looked towards the lonely window which showed that it was still some time before the sun rose. It was not unusual for it had become my routine.

 

Had I still been with Tanaka-sensei, I would already be half-way through my morning spiritual cleansing.

 

`So you have come back.' The phrase was telepathically sent to me. It was our means and connection to each other. Unnatural as it sounded, I cannot remember a time when she and I did not speak in this form.

 

A wonderful and loving feeling passed through me at the sound of her voice. I turned to the right corner of the room, where her yellow aura announced her presence. Red eyes looked back at me with something akin to surprise and rejoice.

 

`Hai.' I responded in the same trembling voice she had used. We remained still for what seemed an eternity.

 

That is until...

 

`I've missed you!' she cried, jumping towards me and licking my jaw. She was the only one whose touch I allowed.

 

`Don't you ever leave again or I'll go and drag you back from wherever it is that you are!' She growled at me.

 

I smirked at her actions. `Kirara, I promise that IF I was ever to leave again, not even the Kami could separate me from you!' I pressed my forehead to hers and sighed.

 

`Your soul feels restless and aged.' She looked at me with a cocked head. I stared at her for a moment, taking in her falsely innocent appearance. It was her way of deceiving the enemy. She was much more that any one could imagine. I closed my eyes and lay back down.

 

`There is much to tell.' Kirara lay atop of me and made herself comfortable.

 

`I have time. I, too, have things which you MUST know. But you go first. I need to catch my breath. The excitement of your arrival forced me to travel twice as fast to get here today.'

 

A corner of my lips turned up, rubbing one of her ears. `Very well.' I told her everything while I petted her and ran my fingers through her mane.

 

Yes. It was good to be back. If anything, for her.

 

The change would be hard to accommodate. Six years of just me and the four shabby walls of a back room. Up until now, I'd had no contact with the outside world. Nothing but the quiet solitude of rereading the same rolls of scrolls over and over again until I had them memorized ― and the daily beatings. And even then, I never spoke to any one. Unfortunately they had been more interested in relieving their anger and so my association with them had always been brief. A few minutes of sound-lashing to alleviate the monotony and then I was alone again.

 

Life was better alone.

 

1199 A.D.

 

I was the youngest priestess to ever be seen in battle, not to mention the youngest samurai. At the age of twelve, I had slayed more demons and intruders than any other woman or man, leaving not even remains of the youkai or scars of the battle in my body. This earned me the infamous name of `the perfect killer', much to my petitions not to. My aid was required at almost every known village on the land. I had by now even traveled to the mainland on the Emperor's request to help him on ridding his domain of some youkai. My father was more than happy to `lend a helping hand' - for a price. I had fought with him about being paid for something that came naturally to me, but he argued endlessly and I always ended giving in because of his delicate health. Still, whenever possible, I gave the money back without his notice.

 

There was no one to share my concerns. My confidant was Kirara, even when most of the time she spent lecturing me and complaining on how I worked myself to death.

 

I had no place in my life for a man, no place for a friend or companion other than Kirara. I'd learned from my birth that I had but one destiny. Isolation. Even when I tried to belong, it didn't work. I was an outsider. That was all I knew. Slowly, I was becoming a living statue - a shell of a person, without hopes and dreams.

 

Unfortunately, an incident ― a freak of nature ― separated me from normal people even more. Even after many years, only bits and pieces burst before my eyes now and then. Flashes of something invincible, but not a face. It had dark, glowing eyes....

 

A letter had arrived on the eve of my thirteenth birthday requesting my return to the southern most isle of Nihon that had been my home since my return. The hurried parchment only indicated that I part towards the small village as soon as possible. My father had at first refused but after his counsel advised him of a possible upraise at his denial, he let me go.

 

When Kirara and I arrived, I was amazed and puzzled to find that the village was untouched. After inquiring with the headman, he denied ever sending aid to me or anyone. Even after I showed him the request he stuck to his answer. There was no lie in his aura. He did, however, offer a room on his small home for me to stay the night. I refused, but Kirara needed to rest and something in the air around this village unsettled me. I had a small supper offered by the headman and then I retreated to the edge of the village to sleep in the open, scarce forest that resided in that part as had been custom the last three years.

 

With Kirara's small body at my side, I closed my eyes to rest my body. I needed to rest too, but quite couldn't manage it. I was too wound up to sleep. All my senses were going crazy. Something was at odds.

 

It seemed that only minutes passed by when probably hours did. My eyes snapped open as I ran towards the scream that had pierced that quiet of the predawn. I froze at the scene before me when I reached the center of the village. Beside the woman that lay dead, a dark menacing shadow hovered. A flash of lightning went through my head. Was it myself I saw?

 

That was the last coherent memory of that fateful day....

 

I don't know how much time passed when I blinked and the entire scene had changed. Horrified, I looked around at the dead bodies. Memories surged through me afterwards. I saw myself on a rampage. Saw faces and flames. Felt the rage of my anger sizzling through me. I had killed the very people I was supposed to protect.

 

Had killed...

 

Evil laughter echoed in my head. Another flash of lightning filled the area.

 

And her...

 

I struggled to remember. Why couldn't I remember what had happened? Feeling desperate and guilty I turned around looking for Kirara. It took more time than I had hoped and with each passing second, my chest constricted at the sights I encountered. True panic and fear engulfed me at the thought of Kirara hurt by my own hands. Over and over I asked myself the same question. Could I really have been capable of something like this?

 

Some time later, I found her hovering over the slaughtered remains of some children. The sight made my stomach contents spill. I knelt and crawled my way to her, hoping against hope that I hadn't done to her what I'd done to them. When I felt her fur, I released a shaky breath, at the weakened heart beat.

 

For hours after I healed and bandaged her, I was about to begin the task of setting the entire village on fire. I was stopped by a noise on a house where I had “awakened”. I went inside it and found a small boy huddled at the corner. I walked towards him, but the instant his eyes landed on my face, he trembled so hard and screamed.

 

“Please don't kill me! Please! Please! I beg you! I promise I won't tell anyone what you did!” I saw him urinate on himself. I hated myself even more.

 

I was about to tell him that I couldn't have done this when voices outside were heard. The boy ran past me. I followed him shortly. The moment I stepped outside the hut, several men saw me and gasped. They wore samurai armors with the chrysanthemum emblem on their banners ― Imperial guards. They took a step back as they took in my appearance and realized what the child had already told them. The child was still crying and trembling behind them and pointing at me.

 

The samurai looked around them. There were bodies, burned and unburned, scattered everywhere. Human bodies. Male and female. Every age. Most of them had torn throats as if a youkai or some similar creature had fed off them. The oldest and probably the captain, walked towards me. He used a small white cloth to wipe at my mouth. He then proceeded to give it to me. I looked down at the small rag and it was then that I saw what he had cleaned off. Blood.

 

And for the first time since I “awoke”, I tasted the metallic flavor in my mouth. I felt numb. Then I bellowed with rage. I threw the rag. I paced a wide circle, raking my hands angrily through my hair. Panting, I looked every bit as insane as every one of them probably thought I was.

 

“What happened miko-sama?” the captain asked slowly, sweeping his arm out to indicate the bodies around us.

 

“I killed them.”

 

There were gasps and for a long time they didn't answer. I thought they had left. I didn't care. But then, “Let's go miko-sama.” I raised my head at him. “You're father sent us after you. We came to escort you back home.” I was too stunned at his cool and trusting stare. How could he not fear me?

 

He ordered one of the guards to fetch Kirara. The young child refused to travel with me and so was sent ahead with two other samurai but not before the captain ordered him no to utter a word about what had happened here or else. I was still too shocked to say anything. After the village was burned to leave no trace of it, we returned to Kamakura.

 

People often say that the truth can never remain hidden. Word got out...fast. By the end of the year, the entire land of Nihon knew what had happened. Village rumor said that my lonely travels had been caused by my destroying a village I'd been responsible for. No one knew why. Only that one night I'd gone mad and murdered everyone there, then razed their homes to the ground. Many feared me and went out of their way to avoid me. I never did know who it was that had told about what occurred. Perhaps it had been the small boy or one of the horrified samurai that had been sent to fetch me. I stopped caring after some time. I kept doing what I was brought out to do. And like all things, it became a myth, nothing but a bedtime story, thanks mostly to my continued work as a miko. But the true had to be because, I think, that the Shikon remained pure.

 

Yet, to me, it had been real. It was something that would haunt me forever. Proof of the animal I really was.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

1203 A.D.

 

By now, my reputation exceeded me. There was barely a day of rest for me. When I was not fulfilling my duties at the Jingikan (office of Shinto affairs) as saishu (ancient office traditionally held by imperial princess), I was taking on my duties as princess. I accompanied my father in his visits to all the villages where we visited with the daimyo. Political functions were one of the events I hated most. I felt like at outcast. Most young women, mainly daughters of well endowed family and affiliates to the royal lineage, pranced around in their expensive and beautiful kimonos trying to catch the eyes of the young samurai. I preferred to remain in the shadows.

 

I didn't like to talk to people. I didn't like the rich. I didn't like youkai. Most of all, I hated to be touched or ordered about. I can honestly say that I did not envy them. A world of false smiles and backstabbing was not something I wished to be part of. To me, the world held no color ― it was either black or white. Turning sixteen years old was no more special than the leaves falling outside.

 

On a windy August day, as I practiced on my personal dojo on the outskirts of my village, Lana came to bring me a small scroll. When I finished my drills, (I hated to be interrupted during my

sessions), I put away my weapons and walked over to where she stood by the door. Even Kirara played outside until I came out.

 

“Who brought this? And why did you bring this to me first when you know well that all scrolls go first through my father?!” I ignored her while she held out to me the scroll.

 

“Don't you talk to me like that! I may serve you, but you have no right to talk to me like I am a slave.” I spared her a glance but I did not show any change in my tone as I went back to picking out another weapon to continue.

 

“I will not apologize for something that you should know by now.” I retorted more softly

 

“I know, but, given the circumstances and the message, I thought you should be the first to open this one.” She had been playing with her feet like a little girl, but the look on her face made me ignore her earlier fault.

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“Well, I was buying some cloth, to make a new chihaya for you. When I had bought enough, I made my way back to the castle through the forest, since it's faster and less steep. Then, without warning, a young man, or so I thought, called out to me asking if I were the personal hand maid to the priestess Kagome. I thought it was probably a messenger from a nearby village wanting your help, so I said yes. He then stepped out of the shadows and when he did I finally saw who or rather what he was. HE WAS A YOUKAI! It had long black hair that was braided at its base, clear blue eyes and pale skin. He was really tall. I turned to run, but he grabbed my arms and held me in place. He told me that he was not here to harm me, but rather wanted only to deliver a message from his master and lord. He said that it was of the utmost importance that I give this to you and ONLY you. He said that he would wait tonight for your answer at the edge of the forest where the river becomes wider. And with that he was gone.” She took in a deep breath.

 

I was outraged at the thought of a demon coming into my territories and having the audacity of thinking I would help him - a YOUKAI none the less. What was the world coming to! What was more, I had not been able to detect his presence.

 

I snatched the scroll from her hands, as she said, “Are you going to help them?” Her confusion laced in every word.

 

“Don't worry, I'll give him my answer as it requested. Thank you, you may leave.” Before she could make it out the door I called out to her. “Oh, and Lana? Not a word to anyone, especially my otou-san.” She gave a small nod.

 

Once she was gone, I grabbed my bow and arrow and headed outside, searching for any nearby youkai. I needed something to take out my anger on. Hunting always helped.

 

~~~~~~~~~