InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Chou Shoki I: Learning from Yesterday ❯ Chapter 35 ( Chapter 34 )

In secret we met -

In silence I grieve,

That thy heart could forget,

Thy spirit deceive.

-Lord Byron, “When We Two Parted”

 

 

CHAPTER 35

 

 

Dressed in all in black, Kagome portrayed an aura of a trained fighter. He wanted to stroke the fine material of her chihaya and feel the soft curves beneath it. She looked so dangerous and feral. Her wintry gaze took in the poorly lighted room. He had taken the liberty of lighting some of her candles.

 

“You did this?” He nodded.

 

As she began to speak, he felt the sincerity behind every word. But despite the great things she had been saying, some little voice in the back of his mind kept screaming that something was wrong. He could feel the cold miko that he had encountered months ago. The miko that could very much rival the biting chill of this upcoming winter.

 

When he moved towards her and embraced her, she harshly pushed him away. “I told you that I hate being touched.” Her scowled deepened.

 

He couldn't understand her ire. It was as if his kindness truly ticked her off. “I thought you would like me being nice to you. Sorry.”

 

“Why would you do something nice for me?”

 

“Because you and I are friends. I like being nice to you.”

 

Still, there was no reprieve in that cold, penetrating stare. “What do you care about that?”

 

“I just do.”

 

“Why?”

 

Never in his life had he met someone who had this much trouble accepting help. Dear Kami, what had they done to her that something as simple as lighting candles for her to see made her suspicious? “I'm sensing you keep having trouble with my being nice to you.”

 

“Yeah,” she said. “I do. No one is nice. Especially not to me.”

 

Something tugged deep inside him at those growled words. After all he'd shared with her, did she still not trust him? “Kagome- ”

 

“I don't want your pity.” The strength of her aura rippled out and blew out three out of five candles. “Or your kindness. Just stay out of my way and out of my life. I don't need to be playing babysitter to a spoiled dog prince. I want to rid this land of your disgusting kind. One day your name will appear on my list and I will not hesitate in killing you.”

 

Wow. That just made him all warm and toasty inside. She was like an agitated feline inside a rattling cage. “Why is it so important to you that you kill everyone around you? Why do you hate everyone?”

 

Out of nowhere an image burned through his mind. It was a younger Kagome. She was in a dark, dismal room, hanging painfully by her arms. Her brown hair was matted with blood and dirt, and fell forward, over her face. Completely naked, her body was covered with bleeding wounds. The agony in her eyes was searing. She tried to escape or fight, but there was nothing she could do. Blow after blow from a steel-barbed whip rained over her flesh, tearing open new wounds and spinning her about. The two figures in blue cloaks who beat her didn't care what they hit so long as they caused her pain.

 

The more she bled the more they laughed.

 

“Stop!” he cried, unable to bear it.

 

Kagome moved her arm from his shoulder. The images vanished as quickly as they'd begun.

 

Kagome gave him a look so cold it reached down inside him and made a part of his very soul freeze. “That is a ten second glimpse of years of torture I have endured because of one person's avarice and cruelty. Any more questions?”

 

He couldn't breathe for the pain inside him. All he could do was shake his head. No wonder she was angry. It was hard to breathe past the lump in his throat.

 

“Then I hope you can appreciate what I'm going to do for you, Barky. I want you to leave and never come back.”

 

Barky? Sesshoumaru ignored what she had just called him and instead half-listened to what she was saying. “Leave me alone, Sesshoumaru. Don't try to see me, or talk to me, or come anywhere near me. In a few weeks I'll be going to my new home in Nara and if you truly consider me a friend as claim, you will stay away. If you do this, I will make a mental note to kill you swiftly when I am called to take your head.”

 

“You are closing any arguments here.”

 

“Let us part now in good terms, than later in hatred.”

 

He couldn't believe this. But he knew deep down it was the best for both of them. Earlier, she had given her blessing for his mating with Michiru. And now, she was finally giving him a reason to stay away. For surely no one in their right mind would stay at the side of a woman so physically and mentally scarred. So insane. He gave an empty laugh. “Maybe we should have never met.”

 

She answered so nonchalantly. “Indeed.”

 

“Ja ne, Kagome.”

 

“No.” He stopped, hoping and praying to whatever God would listen, that she had changed her mind and was calling him back. “Sayonara... Lord Sesshoumaru.”

 

So it was final. She had not been lying.

 

He was now able to go home and freely mate the demoness he had chosen. Then why the hell did he just want to rush back in and claim her? He shouldn't feel like this. Only his destined mate would invoke in him such strong feelings. Surely the gods didn't intentionally tie him to a human...right?

 

He walked aimlessly for half the night. At this pace, he'd probably be back at the Kuroi Hoshi in one or two... weeks? He ran a hand through his hair, realizing for the first time in hours that leaving the safety of the cave was not a good idea. He was still in his human form and if he encountered any youkai, he might as well kiss this world goodbye.

 

But did living really mattered at all now that Kagome could no longer be in his life?

 

No, nothing else mattered. He only wished that life brought her way all the happiness that she deserved and that had been denied to her. Even if that happiness was given by the idiot samurai. He had to recognize that the kid did truly and honestly love Kagome. He would be her husband and she would be his wife. And together they would form a family, with many pups. Pups that should be his and hers.

 

All he wanted now was to return to his home and drink himself to death. Maybe he could use one of those drinks to toast to her new life. His father's words rang in his head. “She's not meant for you.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

We had barely moved a few feet away from the glade when I felt their voices calling inside my head.

 

“Kirara,” she growled, sensing the tension in my body. “Go home. I'll catch up with you in a while.”

 

As always, she wanted to argue, but this was one argument neither she nor I would ever win. She roared loudly and flew away. The wind picked up a bit and I had to laugh at the irony of the situation. Figures the time I actually wear something nice, they come to collect and ruin it.

 

I took a moment to close my eyes and catch the auras of the Daiyoukai and his son move away rapidly. “Live long and enjoy what I have just given you, Sesshoumaru. It is the best thing I could give for you.”

 

A band appeared on my neck that heated and pierced me. Wincing, I felt my body leave the area and return to the dark room I had come to know so well over the years. The blistering winds coming in through the only entrance cut through my body as I stood, waiting.

 

“What did you do?”

 

“My job.”

 

A disembodied slash opened on my left cheek to the bone. I cursed at the pain of the wound.

 

“Worthless slave. You let the son of the Inu no Taishou go?”

 

“I do not attack nor kill those that are not on the List. You made those rules.”

 

Another slash cut across my torso so deep it forced me to my knees. Damn! This was one of my mother's kimono. “Your compassion toward that family disgusts us.”

 

“Yeah, well, you don't exactly thrill me, either.” I realized I should have kept my opinion to myself as I was thrown against the wall.

 

“One day, slave, you'll learn obedience. As for the dogs...the first one to make The List will be the heir.”

 

Panicking for the first time in thirteen years at their threats, I felt my heart thumping hard against my chest. Putting both knees down and touching my forehead to the floor in submission, I spoke softly. “I can't.”

 

I could almost feel the sadistic grins on their faces. “You know what we want from you, slave.”

 

I dared to lift my eyes to them. As always, all I saw were three pairs of red eyes hidden behind floating blue cloaks. I shut my eyes and clenched my teeth. I couldn't kill Sesshoumaru, but what they wanted was something that even I...

 

“No,” I whispered regrettably.

 

They laughed mockingly. “Then the inu youkai shall be eliminated.” My anger blazed and my aura threatened to spill. Somehow even they knew not to let my entire anger free. The last time that happened, I ended up doing some irreparable damage to everyone, including them. “Unless, you're willing to negotiate. Think about it, Messenger. We shall seek you out in seven human days. But for now...”

 

I swallowed as my clothes were stripped from me. I knew what punishment was to come and it was going to hurt like hell.

 

Yeah, Sesshoumaru and his entire family owed me more than they could ever dream.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

He had not been watching where he was going when he was suddenly punched hard across the face. He shook his head several times to focus his vision. The darken night didn't help much. When his balance and vision returned, he realized he might get his death wish early.

 

“You have disobeyed my orders and you could have killed yourself and her in the process! Do you have any idea what you have done to her?!” He was not in the mood to keep his temper down.

 

Sesshoumaru wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth. “It doesn't matter any more. You got your wish. I will no longer go to her... even though I am aching to do so!”

 

“You are selfish in your own feelings. Do you think she is not suffering the consequences of your actions as well? You pushed her into a decision she should have never had to make. In doing so, you have condemned her to a life of more misery! Do you not care about that?”

 

He ran up to his father and punched him in the face. The Daiyoukai didn't even flinch. “How can you stand there and say that I don't care about her! She is EVERYTHING to me! I would die for her! I even tried to be a human for her! Anything for just one moment of her time! Anything for one of her smiles, to hear the melodic sound of her laughter, the warmth of her eyes when she looks at you!”

 

“And then what? Listen to yourself! All you have done has been for you. You'd ask her to run away with you? You had to know that in the end, she would be the one to lose, while you got your moment with her. She wouldn't just leave everything to run away with you. Unlike you, she is responsible.”

 

Sesshoumaru didn't want to argue anymore. Nothing would change. Instead, he began walking again towards his home in defeat. “You got what you wanted. What does it matter how it happened?”

 

The Inu no Taishou was angry, but his love for his son was stronger. He felt like the villain in the story. What could he do but keep doing what he was entrusted to do? He walked up to his son, grabbed his arm and encircled both of them in his blue sphere.

 

In Sesshoumaru's room at the Crescent Moon, servants were entering and exiting. The demon lord had ordered that his heir's room be cleaned and a bath prepared. Sesshoumaru was lying on his side in his futon, exactly the way his father had left him. He told everyone to leave them once the bath was ready.

 

The demon lord disrobed his son and helped him enter the indoor spring. For a moment, the Inu no Taishou thought that if he left him, Sesshoumaru would end up drowning himself, but to his astonishment, he only sat there. The prince's eyes seemed lifeless. It reminded the older youkai of the time when he had lost his own mate. He could only imagine that Sesshoumaru was going through the same thing.

 

After he helped, or rather after he washed his son, he wrapped Sesshoumaru in a large cloth and walked with him back into the room. He made Sesshoumaru drink a cup of tea that would let him sleep until late morning. It took a while, but with his son asleep, he could rest himself. Sesshoumaru's present physical state had made the task more difficult and therefore slower.

 

The Inu no Taishou slipped out the room. He stepped into his own gardens and headed to the small pond on the back of the castle. He sat there under a giant tree and rose with the first light of the morning sun. He felt spiritually tired. On one hand was the happiness of his own son, but on the other, the happiness of Kagome, who was like a daughter to him.

 

As of this moment, Lady Kagome, Empress of Nippon, was now the wife to some samurai of her father's. He knew he should have not allowed her to make that decision, but to separate her from that ningen male would be nothing compared to a separation from Sesshoumaru. For now, it was best that she stay mated to the samurai. With everyone knowing her to be mated, she would be safe and out of harms way.

 

This was all getting too complicated. And now that his suspicions were confirmed, he had no choice but to wait. Wait for `him' to come and finally take his place beside her. It hurt him to know that she could not be destined for Sesshoumaru. She would have made an excellent Lady of the Western Lands and a perfect mate for his son.

 

But, no use crying over spilled milk. What was done was done. All he could do now was help Sesshoumaru pick up the broken pieces in his life and try to help him cope with the loss.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Aita wasn't a very happy miko at the moment. All her years of training, sacrificing her own happiness and family had all been in vain. She had lost! Perhaps Kagome had been right, that day, long ago.

 

Still her fighting spirit refused to acknowledge defeat! Instead she tried to think that now she could perhaps be recognized as a true strong miko. Kagome had certainly complimented her skills. Not all was lost yet. There was still a chance that one day Kagome would come to her and ask her to join her.

 

That would be the greatest day of her life!

 

But right now, she had the opportunity to help Kagome. Unfortunately, the filthy inu youkai refused to leave. He was a cunning powerful demon. She'd underestimated him. He'd managed to disguise himself as a human and was now leaving some secret meeting place. He seemed dazed as he exited the mouth of the cave. In that state, he'd be easy game. Aita could finally extinguish the evil that wanted to taint Kagome.

 

After being defeated in the battle against her idol, Aita was escorted from the castle grounds. She had remained in the forest, sitting under a tree, wallowing in her pain. That was when she saw him. He had left the palace, unescorted. She didn't know why she followed him, a little voice within her told her that there was something not right about that man, but she was grateful she did. As soon as he was far enough from the forest that surrounded the castle, he put on a familiar haori. The intricate designs spoke of royalty, but she couldn't quite remember where she'd seen the particular piece of clothing.

 

After several hours of trailing, it dawned on her where exactly she'd seen the haori. It was the filthy inu youkai that wished to pollute Kagome's pure soul. How he'd manage to get pass all the miko undetected and in human form nonetheless was remarkable. Too bad it would all be in vain!

 

She would have killed him then and there. But only seconds after he arrived at his destination, she felt Kagome's aura nearing. When Kagome came into view and entered the cave, Aita used all her power to mask her scent and blend within the thick lining of the glade. She'd waited for several minutes when another powerful aura approached the glade. It was demonic, powerful and immensely strong. Whoever it was, also wished to remain undetected. She remained quiet.

 

Minutes later the youkai exited the cave heading west. Truly, this had turned into a great day! Without second guessing, she followed the demon, deeper into the forest, where no one would interfere. Kagome didn't need to see this or dirty her own hands with his filthy blood. Maybe after she killed him, she could take some memento and offer it to Kagome as symbol of her devotion and loyalty. Surely Kagome would be pleased and ask her to stay by her side indefinitely. Yes! That sounded wonderful!

 

She was about to pierce his evil heart with her arrow when that other demonic aura that had been present at the glade appeared and punched `the human' youkai. As Aita listened, she learned that the older demon was the father, who was furious that his offspring was following Kagome. Damn him! His timing couldn't have been worst. He carried a very pliant youkai and disappeared in a blue sphere of power.

 

She cursed! Well, what was done was done. Maybe she didn't get to kill the inu youkai, but it seemed that now, both she and Kagome would have nothing standing in the way. Feeling a bit more content, she began her journey back home.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

He heard voices, sounds. He saw images, blurs of his surroundings. There were times he could swear he recognized the sounds and the images, but they were only fleeting moments. And just like they came, they would disappear, to leave him once again in the darkness.

 

The darkness that he wished would just take him. He was tired and didn't want to fight anymore. But fight what? He didn't even know who he was, much less know what it was that wanted him to just give up and embrace that darkness.

 

But every time he was ready to give in, something, or rather someone would stop him. He wasn't sure who it was. He only knew it was a female. Her voice was a light in his dark world. She would call out his name and then...

 

And then she would fade away.

 

It was her voice that would not let him lose. It was her voice that tried to convince him that this was not where he had to be. And it was her voice that finally wrapped around his soul and pulled him out of his misery.

 

Her name...

 

“...Kagome,” the very air in his lungs.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Juro and Ujio raced across the land in the almost nonexistent night after they received the note from their otou-san about Sesshoumaru's condition. They only hoped that they weren't too late. Both inu youkai replayed the words in the notice.

 

 

 

Juro, Ujio

 

It is never easy to give such news about one's own blood. I need for both of you to prepare yourselves for the worst. As you both probably know (and I'm more than sure you do - a matter which shall be discussed later), Sesshoumaru went to see Lady Kagome. Well, to make a long story short, she asked him to leave her and never return. Your yakkai (brother) did not take the decision well. He is currently intoxicated to a point where death is more than a sure outcome. I need for both of you to come and help me knock some sense in him. Onegai, my sons, hurry!

 

Your Father

 

 

 

When they reached the Crescent Moon, they found the Inu no Taishou literally trying to knock down the door, but to no avail. He quickly informed them of the situation. It appeared that Sesshoumaru had used one of his mother's ancestral spells to put a barrier in the room. No matter how hard they banged, the barrier would not let any one through.

 

Ujio was the first to try. “Yakkai let us in. We only want to see that you are fine.” His voice was calm.

 

No answer. This would have been a good sign were it not for the smell of sake mixed with blood in the air emanating from the room.

 

This time Juro intervened. “Sesshoumaru let us in. If not for us, then... at least... for Kagome.”

 

The barrier was weakened enough at the end of Juro's plea - enough to let Juro and Ujio in. The Daiyoukai wanted to enter, but if Sesshoumaru saw him, he was afraid that would only make things worst. Instead, he waited for his two other sons to come out when they had helped the younger inu youkai.

 

Inside, Ujio and Juro found Sesshoumaru slumped on the right corner of his room. There were no candles lit and the smell of sake dominated any other smell. They approached him, very slowly and careful. An inu youkai in pain or hurt was very unpredictable. The closer they got, the more they realized that Sesshoumaru was mumbling something. With twin curses, they realized that he was still human.

 

As soon as they were next to him, they became aware that in his delirium or mental detachment, Sesshoumaru was talking to someone. He would, at times, lift his hand, reaching out to touch or grab something. His eyes were looking off to somewhere, perhaps the place his mind was quickly escaping to. Juro and Ujio thought that maybe he was seeing Death that was closing on him.

 

They both tried to bring him out of whatever trance he was in. At times, they slapped him, yet he did not respond. Or was it that he didn't want to? They felt so helpless and were about to call their otou-san when something unexpected happened.

 

“Kagome,” the sound was rough, a side effect to the huge amounts of sake that had probably burned some of his throat.

 

Sesshoumaru's gaze became focused. He took in his surroundings. It required much effort on his part to piece together the things that he had experienced and seen. His eyes wondered about the room and fell on both his brothers who were sitting on the edge of his futon. Dark circles under their eyes marred their otherwise perfect masculine features as they looked at him with much shock.

 

Juro took in a deep breath. “Can we safely say we have you back?”

 

Sesshoumaru was about to respond when Ujio literally beat him at the punch. The prince rubbed his chin, but realized it did not hurt. He looked at his hands and his hair that fell in front of him. His magenta stripes and his silver hair were back. Every smell and every detail in the room finally beginning to sharpen.

 

“Don't you ever do something that stupid again! No female is worth it! Especially her!” He would have continued but he was being pressed to the ground, his airway blocked.

 

“NEVER TALK ABOUT HER IN THAT WAY! NONE OF THIS IS HER FAULT! I MADE HER DO ALL THIS AND IT IS SHE THAT HAS TO LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY CHOICES! IF ANYONE IS INNOCENT IN ALL THIS, IT IS HER!”

 

Juro pulled Sesshoumaru off Ujio just before the inu youkai on the ground passed out of asphyxiation. All three of them sat and exchanged glances. There was no need for apologies or words.

 

Abruptly standing, Sesshoumaru grabbed his yellow and blue sash, kissed it unconsciously, and placed it on his arm. He picked up his sword and his boots. He went into the spring and without thinking of the cold water, he jumped in and cleaned himself enough to wash away the stinking smell of alcohol and blood from a cut he inflicted on his chest. He had tried to cut off his clothing earlier when he couldn't claw it off. In his drunken stupor the blade had missed his lung. The blade only grazed him, but it still made a cut deep enough for the flow of blood to go on for several minutes. Had it not been for his youkai strength returning, he probably would be dead by now.

 

Exiting the bathing room, he directed himself to his futon fully dressed and searched for the necklace Kagome had made to allow him passage into her castle. His brothers only watched him without saying a word. They had an idea what he was going to do, but they dared not ask.

 

That was, of course, until Juro asked. “Just promise me that this time, you will make things right. She deserves to be happy, my brother.”

 

Sesshoumaru knew what the hidden meaning was in those few words. He nodded to both his brothers and jumped out of his window without another glance or word. The hell he was going to let Kagome have the last say in this. He only hoped that Kagome had not done what she had set out to do.

 

“Onegai, chotto matte (Please, wait). Just give me a little more time. I'm coming.” His silent plea would never reach her on time.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

OMG! These chapters were really hard to write. No matter how many times I tried to write them, I was never pleased. The content in it hits too close to home and the atmosphere that I was trying to portray just didn't seem to come out. But I don't think that changing more of it will make things better and here you have a “better” version of my ideas.

 

All right...a few things before you review (and you must! JK! But really, do review.).

 

Those of you ::looks at everyone skeptically:: who read my author's note at the beginning of Ch. 32 know that this is my last update for a good two and a half maybe three months. Right now, I'm sitting in front of my computer in San Antonio. In two weeks, I'll be polishing the next chapters in my home in Mexico City where I start my new job for which I was promoted and transferred. I'll be busy between unpacking and organizing, getting settled at work and getting registered at medical school. So please be patient and REVIEW!!!

 

Another thing is that, since my beta has unfortunately had some personal things to take care of (and for which I totally understand), these chapters probably have several grammatical errors, so bear with me. As soon as I get a chance, I'll go back and make the necessary corrections.

 

And lastly, any of you guys who came over from A Single Spark, I suggest (I am not saying you should!) that you register on either of the two sites you're reading this story. I'm merely offering this suggestion because it's easier for me to reply to your reviews. Again, it's completely your choice.

 

So...have a nice weekend! See you all in some weeks. Take care!