InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Close Yet Far ❯ Memories ( Chapter 1 )

Black Memories

I remember that day.

I remember it like it was yesterday. It has been years since then, but how could I forget it? The unforgiving darkness that overwhelmed every sense I own. The bitter cold of treachery of one I trusted. How could I hope to forget? There are reasons that I can't. I cannot simply forget the betrayal of my heart.

Who said that I wasn't right?

I've lived for years without a life

Don't have a soul on my side

Still ridiculed despite how hard that I have tried

I remember the people.

I remember how the people hated me. Hated me for what I was. What I am. Not only did they fear me existence, but my very state of being. Only my mother neither hated or feared me, but she left me here, alone. There was one group that did not fear me. The youkai. They loathed me. The demon lords despised me and why not? I was, am, different. No more then a half-breed.

Don't take me under your wing

I don't need a hand, don't need anything

I've got a roof over my head

As if I'd rather be alone with me instead

And then I remember her.

I remember her mercy. She gave me mercy and something that I didn't dream of receiving. Compassion. How could she not intrigue me? How could I ignore her? The miko, Kikyou. The protector of the Shikon no Tama, a pure woman that gave me, a filthy hanyou, compassion. I think I knew somewhere that what she gave me was truly compassion, not love, but this was buried beneath my fascination. I was drawn to her and to the jewel.

Close yet far

Drop me a line and tell me how the hell you are

And I'll tip my hat to those who can't believe it's me

Though I never, never, never ever wanted this to be

I remember the jewel.

The rosy pearl that drew demons and evil to it like the heron to water. The Shikon no Tama drew me, as well. It called to me the promise of normality. The promise of pure blood. First, the pull of demon blood, but after her intervention, the hope of a human life with her. A life without discrimination, but hope is a fleeting emotion that grabs you and rends as it is ripped from heart, mind and soul. The jewel promised much, but gave none of it.

No. I remember that day.

I can hear the sounds of the city

Sunrise and set are the same to me

A hesitating pulse is good company

And my reflection offers no apologies.

I remember that day.

Excited, worried, I paced the spot where we were to meet. Where I was to become human. She promised the jewel. I would finally be pure and she would be free of her duties, able to be herself. Able to be normal, just as I would, but fate would not have it. The arrows thudded into wood, death born on the wind. The fateful words rang out in the afternoon air, "Die, Inuyasha!"

I remember . . .

But who said that I wasn't right?

And I've lived for years without a life

Don't have a soul on my side

Still ridiculed despite how hard that I have tried.

I . . . I remember my final hour.

I raced to the village, enraged and heartbroken. I was wrought with grief at the betrayal by her. I allowed my fury to reign and the demon blood in my veins seized control. I stole more then the jewel that night. I stole the life of villagers. Villagers that had come to accept me. I realize that acceptance now, but now is too late. I ripped through them, rendering them limb from limb. The crimson river I created chills my soul. Their screams of death haunt my dreams.

I remember their deaths . . .

Close yet far

Drop me a line and tell me how the hell you are

And I'll tip my hat to those who can't believe it's me

Though I never, never, never ever wanted this to be.

And then I remember oblivion.

When the arrow pierced my skin, it may have pierced my soul. That day, my heart was shattered and scattered to the four winds. The world slipped from my grasp and I felt as if I slept, pinned to the Goshinboku by the arrow of the one I loved. While I slept, I dreamt. I dreamt of a life without persecution, a life of freedom. I dreamt of someone who would love me for who I am. I am hanyou . . .

I remember . . .

Close yet far

Drop me a line and tell me how the hell you are

And I'll tip my hat to those who can't believe it's me

Though I never, never, never ever wanted this to be.

And now I remember.

I remember the past that shapes the future. My future. I think back to those days and recognize the change. Not just in the world, but in myself, too. I no longer fear these memories as I once did. I embrace them. How can I not? The past is behind me, my friends at my side and my future before me. I am hanyou. I am different. I am Inuyasha.

AN: I like this. Took forever to decide if I wanted to post it and then the editing began. I would like to address the part about villagers dying. I think that, in the anime at least, they mentioned that Inuyasha didn't kill anyone, but I had my moment of darkness.

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or "Close Yet Far" by CKY.