InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Clumsy ❯ Skeleton’s Rattle ( Chapter 11 )

Clumsy

Author's notes: This story skips ahead abruptly please take note of it.

So many people commented on 'the promise' in the last chapter, I was actually surprised. That was sort of thrown in there in the course of a heated argument, something that happened before that neither of them have talked about in a long time. It will be discussed further in this chapter.

Rin and Sesshoumaru are uncharacteristically close for two people who 'just met' at the dance studio, maybe you noticed this. There were reasons for this closeness that I've since abandoned since this story is nearing it's closing and I've decided not to get into it.

Act XI: Skeleton's Rattle

The anxious, gut-wrenching feeling in her belly wasn't new. It had been plaguing her for weeks. Today was it, the graduation ceremony for the senior class. It was the last day she'd see him before he left.

It was amazing how many ways one could find to avoid another person. She and Sesshoumaru had managed to do so effortlessly although honestly, they were more his efforts than hers. That in itself left her feeling that much worse.

The whole day seemed bland, and she'd dreaded it's coming. She walked down the stairs lifelessly and plopped into a chair across from her mother. Breakfast was the same as always. Her mother was drifting somewhere in her thoughts while her grandfather told 'historical' tales to her brother Souta.

She smiled sadly as she left the room telling herself she shouldn't let this be getting her down. But it was.

The ceremony was a relatively short affair. It would take up the last few hours of the final school day.

"Kagome!"

She forced a smile and ran to catch up with her friends. No use in thinking about it now, it would only bring more questions. Hours passed and her anxiety grew but she remained steadfast in her resolve. In her bag was the gift, the one she'd spent so many hours laboring over. All that time wasted and she'd gotten him something trivial, she thought.

They were collected together sometime after noon for the graduation ceremony. The senior class was up front while all the junior classes sat in the back categorized by their homeroom teacher.

There was no way she could pick Sesshoumaru out of the leagues of students all in identical uniforms despite his rather long hair and it's unusual shade. There were simply too many people. Instead she was forced to sit and watch, and wait. It was likely she wouldn't see him at all considering one person received the diplomas for each homeroom class, she sighed and slumped in her chair.

Three months, she thought dismally. She and Sesshoumaru had avoided one another for three whole months. It was utterly depressing in its reality. They really weren't friends anymore; her words had rang truer than she'd ever wanted. This was so much different than those sparse in between years where they weren't really friends but still partially friendly. No, now they were completely severed. They didn't meet, they didn't speak, and they didn't even look in one another's direction. Well, maybe she did, he was much more successful in blowing her off.

Aside from her dismal affair with Sesshoumaru, a few other things had transpired. She'd successfully fulfilled her role in the seasonal play to a 'not sold out' audience, but one who enjoyed it anyway. They had performed it twice for school children visiting and then there were the paid performances, mostly parents and friends attended however.

Notably Kouga and his band of eight or more friends who had shown up, sitting as close to the stage as they could get. They'd been offensively loud the entire time, much to the annoyance of everyone else in the center row, and an appalling distraction for Kagome.

All in all everything had gone well. Miroku had shown up as well with an exuberant armful of flowers for Sango. Somehow or other something seemed to have developed between the two, although she had been so distracted lately she hadn't paid much attention to her friend's chatter.

She sighed dropping her head slightly, half wanting the day over while the other half of her held onto it tenaciously.

~X~

She stared at him contemptuously. "I didn't ask for your opinion!" she snapped. "So keep it to yourself!"

"Keh!"

"Inuyasha, is Sesshoumaru here, or not?"

"Of course, where else does he go? He's in his room, although he's been snapping all week, at me and everyone else."

She smiled weakly. "Is that right? What a surprise." She muttered. "I'm not saying long so he shouldn't have too much to complain about."

She tossed him a smile and a wave and skipped up the stairs, her school bag dangling in her hand. She padded down the hallway, pausing at his doorway and inhaled deeply trying to collect herself. She could do this. She could.

She raised her hand and knocked before she could chicken out. Rather than the door opening, as she expected a gruff voice called from inside, "Come in."

So she did. She peered within anxiously; he was rummaging through a closet, not even looking in the direction of the door. She couldn't see him but she could hear him over there. She stepped inside, leaving the door open before changing her mind and kicking it closed rather abruptly.

The unexpected slam of the door drew his attention and he stepped back and into view. He turned in her general direction, his expression bland before he caught sight of her.

Where was his shirt? She wondered, almost blushing. She wasn't expecting him to be half dressed at this time of the afternoon. He visibly tensed upon seeing her.

"Well, nice to know you're happy to see me," she chirped with much more feeling than she felt at the moment.

He returned to his task, not totally to her dismay. It was easier if she didn't have to stare at him half-unclothed. "Did you want something, Higurashi?"

"Yes, Masaharu-san." She replied.

Next thing you know she'd be bowing too, she thought irritably. She shook her head; this was no time to allow him and his attitude to distract her. She was here for a reason, she thought.

"Anyway, I came here to apologize." Whatever he'd been doing to cause the rustling sound stopped, and it was apparent he was listening even though he didn't look back at her. "The last argument we had I brought up things that really weren't part of our conversation, and I kind of regret that. I didn't want you to leave still cringing at the sight of me, so I came to say I was sorry."

She paused, wondering if she should continue. She really didn't have anything else to say. Well, nothing substantial, so she waited to see if he would reply.

He didn't say anything and the ticking of a wind up clock on a desk table was surprisingly loud.

"Besides that, I brought you this. It's nothing big or expensive and since I know very little about you anymore, it's on the generic side. But-" she trailed off as he turned toward her from the closet.

She paused only momentarily from searching through her bag before withdrawing the elegantly wrapped gift. It wasn't big but she had spent a good twenty minutes wrapping this package under guidance from her mother. Her mother wrapped packages beautifully.

She sat it aside on his desk and attempted to smile under such a heavy gaze. He looked like he was about to throw her out.

She was going to cry, she could feel it already. She needed to get out of here before she broke down in front of him, she couldn't do that. She couldn't cry in front of him, even though she'd done it millions of times before.

"Well I should really go, I have to meet Kikyo soon." She smiled all the while mocking herself. She actually had an hour before she had to meet Kikyo, but he didn't know that, she thought, as she turned to the door, suddenly eager to be away from here.

"Why?"

She paused. "I'm sorry, why what?" she asked.

"Why are you meeting Kikyo?"

She sighed silently, not having enough courage to turn around. "She's helping me with my archery. She's really a whole lot better than me, and she agreed to help me out."

Saying she was good at it was an understatement. Kikyo could outshoot her blind folded. Kikyo won the tournament some weeks past although she had provided some competition for the older miko, but not enough to seriously be a challenge to her. Kikyo had placed first, while Kagome had come in a secure third place after another challenger made a lucky shot in the final round.

"When are you meeting her?"

She paused. "About an hour," she murmured.

He must have heard her because he didn't ask her to repeat it.

"I didn't mean to forget, Kagome."

She finally managed to turn back and face him. "I didn't think you did, it's not important anymore anyway."

He had slid a pristine white shirt over his head and his hair was swept over one shoulder. She wondered if he had any idea just how sexy he looked sometimes when he really wasn't trying.

"Apparently it is if you've been holding a grudge over it this long," he mused, examining the cuff of his white shirt before glancing back up at her. "You have an hour. Sit down."

She only had an hour and the awkward pauses and drawn out silences were quickly eating up that time.

"I only have an hour, did you want to talk about something?"

"You never were one for companionable silence were you? Always wanted to fill every hour with meaningless chatter…"

"You are strangely reminiscent for someone who is so hostile to memories." She noted.

He tossed her a backward glance. "I'm leaving in a week, we only have an hour."

"Less than an hour," she corrected.

"You hang around Inuyasha too much." He commented before stepping into his closet once more.

"I hardly ever see Inuyasha."

"Then you're hanging around with the other idiot, Kouda too much."

"Kou-ga! I don't 'hang out' with him much either. Why do we always end up talking about who I am friends with anyway?"

He suddenly appeared in her direct line of sight, a stern look upon his face. "Because you don't have the innate ability to say 'no'. It's in your best interest to acquire it before you become saddled with even more idiots."

Sometimes he was so-

She looked back up quickly. Was he grinning at her? He was actually joking with her. The scamp!

"Well I guess I could cut back on the undesirables, might as well start with you, right?" She teased, sending him a wily smile.

He ended up seated at his desk while she sat back on his futon.

"So you're not angry at me anymore, right?"

"You are the one who cast me off," he reminded her.

"Right, but I also came and apologized. If it wasn't for me we wouldn't even speak anymore because you are so ridiculously stubborn."

"I didn't owe you an apology."

"Oh no?" She asked a hint of a challenge in her voice.

"For the festival. " he turned to her again. "For never showing up to take you to the New Year's festival I promised you, I am sorry about that. It was unintended."

"So why didn't you come?"

"My father's parents visited." He was not surprisingly, scant with the details.

"The mean ones?"

He gave her a curious look.

"I… don't know their names," she replied sheepishly.

"The mean ones," he settled on.

"Why didn't you just tell me that later on instead of avoiding me?"

"Because you would have asked me a million questions I didn't want to answer. It was beyond your comprehension at the time."

"'Beyond my comprehension'?"

"You were ten," he added defensively.

"Okay fine, I'll concede that point, but I'm not ten anymore."

"Of which I'm aware. It seems to escape your notice that male and female companions do naturally grow apart at such times, doesn't it?"

"Inuyasha and I are still friends, you've got no excuse!"

She was obviously teasing, not seriously pressing the point. She understood that he didn't like to talk much about himself; there was no use in forcing the subject. He had had an unpleasant visit with his grandparents it was understandable. Sesshoumaru's grandparents were very hostile toward Inutaisho and toward Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha as well. An encounter with them might have involved hurt feelings or something along those lines. Given what he was like back then Sesshoumaru was likely to be greatly distracted by such and he was right. There were four years between them; until she grew up they'd have had little in common, especially with his interest in females much older than her at the time. She couldn't be unreasonable, besides she'd forgiven him the moment he said he was sorry.

"What is this?" he motioned toward the package.

"It's a picture of me, of course. I'm not about to let you move away and forget me." She winked and then added. "It's not actually a picture of me. It's an assortment of little things that will be infinitely useful to you, the college student that you will be very soon."

"Thank you."

She glanced at the clock. She had to meet Kikyo in ten minutes. Time passed so quickly.

"I have to go, Kikyo and I are meeting at an archery range, and she's starting to issue warnings about me being late all the time."

She forced a weak smile, still gripping her bag. This was probably the last time she'd see him in a while. She had ballet, plus her meetings with Kikyo. Not only that but Inutaisho had been mentioning the upcoming ballet competition more often. It wasn't for several more months, but she sorely needed the practice. It hadn't helped that she'd been distracted by this little upset with Sesshoumaru.

"Oh, I keep drifting off. I've really got to be going. Kikyo's … not fun to be around when she's angry."

"I wouldn't know." He replied absently fingering the ornate paper of her gift.

"You don't like her, do you?"

"I am not interested in my brother's social circle of morons."

He looked up as he heard her laugh in response to the comment. "You're harsh on him." She chastised.

"He'll live."

Kagome scolded herself for just standing there- she had to go. But, oh, she didn't want to! When she left, that was it. He'd be gone, out of her reach for who knew how long. She almost lowered her head in despair but caught herself.

Her conscience told her to bid her farewell now. Hug him and go. Hug him and go. Hug him and go! But she couldn't. She couldn't move from her place, she was frozen to the spot.

"At a loss for words…" he drawled. "That's a first."

He met her gaze squarely clearing expecting to draw her into verbal combat. He was clearly surprised, and disturbed by her lack of willingness, and surprising show of even temperament. He stood uneasily but she held a hand up, stopping any forward motion toward her as her eyes fell closed and teardrops found their way down her cheeks.

What was she doing crying? She didn't want to cry in front of him. She bit her lip, brushed away the tears, and met his gaze openly once more. She could do this, she could.

"You've always been trouble Sesshoumaru." Her eyes glistened, threatening more tears, which surprisingly ceased to fall. "So it figures this wouldn't be any easier, doesn't it?"

She was officially late now, but somehow it didn't matter. It was all so depressing and final. Deciding she'd had run out of time, she snapped her head up and stepped forward determinately. She was going to do this; she would, even if she could never face him again.

Standing tall and pushing herself up on her toes she leaned forward pressing her lips against his for the briefest of moments. She gave him no time to reply, or even to kiss her back before she threw her arms around him, at least happy he hadn't stopped her from doing it. He raised one arm and draped it across her shoulders, but it was hardly a comforting motion.

"I don't want to see you again… before you leave." She murmured, but she was certain he'd heard.

She pushed away from him abruptly, unable to contain the tears this time as she fled the room leaving him alone once more.

She flew down the stairs, trying desperately to wipe away the tears and to keep from breaking into hysterical sobs. She pressed past Inutaisho and Inuyasha on her way out apologizing clumsily but not stopping.

Inutaisho turned to his youngest. "I wonder what that was about?"

Inuyasha's eyes narrowed and he followed his son's gaze toward the stairs. The only person up there was… Sesshoumaru.

"She wouldn't cry like that for me," Inuyasha snorted bitterly taking the bag of groceries from his father's hands and stomping away moodily.

~X~

How long he'd stood there escaped him, but the time didn't matter. It had to have been at least an hour as the sun was now beginning to dip on the western horizon. Soon it would be nightfall and he still had loose ends to tie up and things to finish. He turned his gaze down to the envelope in his hands; half debating whether or not he wanted to give it to her knowing the effect it was going to have. Still, it was necessary, he thought. He had to do it- it wasn't fair.

The injustice of the situation however wasn't enough to make him move from his perch where he stood leaning against the base of the torii gate looming over his head as he stared absently into the courtyard. He knew she was home, but she was not up in the shrine courtyard but probably back at the edge of the property tucked up into the safe haven that was her room.

He didn't like this- letters weren't his style. He preferred direct address, it was always easier to corner people that way, but he didn't want to corner her and more importantly he didn't want her doing it to him, should such a thing be possible. He wasn't about to say it was impossible, she was a clever girl.

Finally, he pushed himself away from the gate and began walking toward the back. He walked leisurely, in no hurry, and almost praying that when he got there that she wouldn't answer the door. He preferred direct address, he thought, but tonight he didn't want it. He wanted to drop the letter and go, let her deal with it privately, away from him. Out of range of her sobs and out of sight of her tears.

He knocked briskly, and waited once he reached the door. There was a slight commotion inside before it slid open and the boy he recognized as Kagome's brother appeared.

"Hi," he greeted him cheerily. "You want to talk to Kagome?" he asked immediately.

"No," Sesshoumaru replied primly holding out the pristine white envelope. "Will you give this to her for me? It's important."

The kid smiled and agreed. "I'll take it to her right now."

"Thank you." He replied before turning, and leaving the doorway. He heard the door close as he walked away. In a matter of moments the letter would be in her hands and there would be no going back.

As he reached the street he turned back and gave the Higurashi Shrine one last look. It would be the last time he saw it.

~X~

"Kagome!"

"Souta! I told you not to barge in my room!" the girl immediately rose from her desk where her algebra homework was again taunting her.

"But I had to bring you this, he said it was important." He whined holding out an envelope.

"Who said it was important?"

"Inuyasha's older brother was here a minute ago, but he left after he asked me to give you the letter." He explained. "I'm hungry, so I'll see you later."

She watched him go in silence waiting until her door was firmly shut before even thinking of opening the letter. She had a bad feeling, he'd never written to her before, so it had to be bad, right?

She tore open the envelope and withdrew the fancy paper within. Sesshoumaru never did anything halfway, or anything less than elegant. He even wrote beautifully compared to his younger brother's scrawl.

"Kagome,

You're too much of a warm and forgiving person for your own good. Your affection for me hasn't gone unnoticed, but it's best left as a fantasy. This letter will, undoubtedly, bring you pain, but it is unavoidable. I will not lower myself to lie, even to spare your feelings.

It's an inevitable truth that I've brought you nothing but unhappiness and grief since we were children. Thank you for caring and never giving up your hopes in me - for that you will always have a special place in my memory. However, I want you to let go, I'll never bring you anything more than I have in the past and you deserve someone better.

The entire affair has done nothing but left hurt feelings and unhappiness in it's wake, and Inuyasha has become quite bitter over the entire situation. Let this be our final and complete goodbye.

Keep this letter if you so desire, or destroy it because it hurt you but don't regard it as an act of cowardice. I penned this letter only because you expressed a desire not to see me again before I left, and I didn't want to see you cry anymore because of me.

-Sesshoumaru "

"Kagome! You have a visitor!" Her mother shouted up the stairs, but she barely heard.

Her vision was blurring with tears, she was just barely keeping herself upright instead of falling over into a lifeless heap.

"Kagome!" Her mother called again.

She dropped the letter onto her floor and walked to the stairs in a daze, even as she tried to blink away the tears.

"Yo!"

She looked up absently.

"Kouga," she just barely managed to croak out.

He walked to the bottom of the stairs and she fell into his embrace, unable to contain the hurt anymore as she spilled over in despair.

~X~

Author's Notes: I'm glad I waited so long to finish this. I didn't like the others half as much as I liked this one, but I've got a feeling a lot of people are going to be unhappy with me. Sorry, I couldn't resist, I really liked where this was going. I was going to end it here, but I know I'll get very unhappy reviews, so it's not quite finished yet.