InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Collision ❯ Hide ( Chapter 3 )

Chapter 3- Hide

It had been a week since he had mated the hanyou. His days were filled with inner battles with his youkai, battles he almost always won. Battles over kindness, appreciation, and lust filled his mind. His days were spent wandering the forests. His body automatically traveled in the direction of the Western Kingdom's jÅkamachi, his castle and the surrounding town, and stayed ever vigilant for threats, but his mind was always elsewhere.

It was for the best, that youkai kept him so occupied. Sesshoumaru still could not rid himself of the mysterious dreams. What he had before thought had been prompting from his youkai, turned out to be nothing of the sort. His nights were filled with a barrage of images invading his sleep, images of Inuyasha.

He dreamt of the hanyou naked and debauched, spread for him and wanting. He dreamed of him sleeping, snuggled against his side. He saw the hanyou angry in the throes of battle, glorious and powerful. He watched as the radiance that perpetually surrounded him, dimmed as he slumped to the ground after being slapped into a tree. He had visions of the look of dread in his paling face when the hanyou would see him approach.

It was not just the images that left his panting and hard or drowning in a pool of unwanted guilt when his woke up, it was the feelings that came with them. Lust so powerful, he moaned in remembrance. He felt awe at the beauty and fire of the creature and wrestled with feelings of remorse and protection when he saw the pain and sadness in those wide golden eyes.

The most disconcerting, however, was the voices. His dreams were backed by a soundtrack of whispers, low and soft. The voice soothed him and pushed him at the same time, though, he could never make out what they said. It was familiar and yet distant

Every morning he woke up in a daze that would amass into a cloud of rage. His father had made sure he had grown up with a proper education. That education included extensive lessons on mating. He had never heard of anyone being inundated with unwanted dreams, like this. That meant that it was coming from outside of himself. When asked, his youkai confirmed that it had nothing to do with the images and feelings.

Who would dare? Who would dare to think that they could manipulate the Sesshoumaru?! His ire grew each morning as night after night, his mind was assaulted. They left him confused and flustered. When he was not turned inward, battling his youkai, he often found himself eyeing he hanyou; following the curve of the pale column of his throat, or feeling his fingertips tingle as he resisted wrapping his hands around the thin waist he could make out within the thick folds of his fire-rat robes. It frustrated him to no end. He knew he was being manipulated and resisted all the stronger. As a result, it was the hanyou that was hit (literally) with the brunt of his fury.

Instead of licking the delectable skin of the hanyou's throat, he circled it with his hands as he slammed the beast against a tree for back talking. Instead of caressing that thin waist and narrow hips, he threw the abomination into the mud and walked away without a backwards glance.

He had never felt so out of control. He would not be a puppet to the fates. He would not yield to the pressures in his mind to care for the hanyou. And yet, he had also never been one for unnecessary violence. He had never lost his hold of his emotions like he was growing ever more used to doing in the days since he had found himself mated to his father's shame, striking out physically. Sure he had battled his brother sword to sword before, but with his uncontrollable rage and humiliation it had turned into something completely different.

It had become a cycle. He would dream of the hanyou and his transgressions against him and feel guilt. The guilt would only make him angry. He would take his anger out on the hanyou and it would start all over again the next day.

The hanyou would be his ruination if he did not find balance.

~*~

Inuyasha was quietly panicking.

Around him, the imp was unpacking the dragon and setting up camp for the night. Sesshoumaru had disappeared into the woods to hunt for dinner. Shippo was playing contentedly with his kitsune toy-tricks next to him.

For the past week, he had been experiencing stomach pains and rolling nausea. The first couple of days, he had tried to dismiss it as aftereffects of the mating. He was a hanyou after all. Perhaps he was not strong enough to handle the amount of youki that Sesshoumaru had pumped into him through the mating mark. After those few days, however, when he continued to feel increasingly tired and sick, other, more frightening thoughts crept into his mind.

It came to a head yesterday when he had woken and immediately ran into the surrounding underbrush, reaching and gasping as he brought up the entire contents of his stomach. Shippo had hopped after him in concern petting his hair and murmuring words of comfort he had heard from his mother and Kagome.

That was when he knew. He was pregnant.

How Inuyasha knew this, he could not say, but he was certain. He could feel it in his bones, in his flesh, in his heart.

He had slumped against a nearby tree, circling his stomach with his arms. Shippo had whined in concern, imploring him to tell the kitsune what was wrong, but the hanyou had ignored the child. He could not say the words. He was in shock, on the verge of tears, and could not bear to say anything.

What was he going to do?

He had gripped his still hard and thickly muscled belly, tearing aside the fabric of his hitoe. Inuyasha clawed at his stomach, still firm and flat beneath his hand, leaving red welts and beads of blood on the tender skin. He could not do this! He could not carry a piece of that monster he called brother within him. It had to go! He had to get it out! But… could he kill it? Could he rip it from his belly with his own claws? He would be rid of the bit of Sesshoumaru that dwelt inside him, freeing him from this burden, freeing him from the life of a breeding bitch.

It had been then that Sesshoumaru had appeared, soundlessly like a ghost, from their camp.

“What do you presume you are doing, hanyou?” he had practically growled in his low threatening voice. Inuyasha had long since learned that it was not a good idea to upset the daiyoukai, in the mornings especially.

“I-I wa-,” Inuyasha tried to explain, waving his hand toward the pile of sick that was slightly up the trail, but was interrupted.

“Go!” Sesshoumaru had demanded, actually growling this time as he yanked Inuyasha up with one hand fisting his hair and the other wrapping in his hitoe. He threw the hanyou into the woods back towards the camp.

Inuyasha went flying, stumbling on the thick underbrush. He careened toward a thick tree. On instinct, he let himself fall, not bothering to catch himself. Instead he curled himself into a ball, his knees coming up to his chest and his hands wrapping around his middle, protecting the burgeoning life within.

He scrambled out of his brother's way as the youkai calmly marched after him, toward the campsite. Inuyasha kept his head low and his shoulders hunched as he hurried over to his spot next to Shippo. The kitsune had darted in front of him and waited for him. Inuyasha could not bring himself to look into the large questioning eyes that gazed at him with concern, as Sesshoumaru passed them radiating fury and dominance.

Inuyasha sat huddled on the earthen floor. He had not been allowed to take to the trees to rest as was his want, the youkai wanting him to be in sight at all times. So he sat, his knees drawn up and his arms circling his stomach, deep in thought but aware of where Sesshoumaru was at all times.

He thought about what just happened, not about what Sesshoumaru had done- that was becoming increasingly typical as the days wore on- but about how he had reacted. He had guarded his stomach over his own welfare.

Though he was just a half-breed, Inuyasha's instincts were as strong as any pure inu youkai. He knew he was pregnant, he knew he had to protect the life within him, and he knew, without a doubt that he would never be able to terminate that life.

But what was he going to do? He was pregnant. He had never in his life, having spent his formative years with humans, even thought that a man could get pregnant until just a few weeks ago when Myouga explained his Uke nature to him. How was he supposed to do this? And with Sesshoumaru…

No. He could take care of himself. He had spent a lifetime doing it. He refused to believe that he would ever need Sesshoumaru, and inwardly scoffed at the idea that the youkai could or would have anything to offer him towards helping with his pregnancy and subsequent raising of the child that he could not do himself.

His thoughts grew lighter as those thoughts sparked a sudden realization. Raising the child. He would have a child! He would have a real family. Shippo would have a younger sibling.

He thought back to his own childhood. His mother had raised him by herself. Though they lived in her family's estate with all of her kin, they had been isolated from them. Still, with only his mother to care for him, it had been the happiest time of his life. It would be no different with his own child. He had spent a few years traveling alone with Shippo and had grown to see him as a kind of son/little brother type, and he felt that he had done alright with that. He could raise his child, too.

But one thing marred Inuyasha's hope for this being inside of him- Sesshoumaru. He could only imagine what the violent and hateful creature that was his mate and brother would do to him if he found out. The daiyoukai treated him as dirt beneath his shoes, but if he found out what he had done, that he had gotten pregnant… Well, Inuyasha shuddered to think about the consequences of that.

He could not tell his brother. He knew that. There was no telling what he would do.

Would he care? Would he treat Inuyasha worse? Would he continue to abuse Inuyasha like he had done today and harm the baby? Would he do what Inuyasha knew he could not and rip the babe from his flesh?

Inuyasha had never seen any part of his brother that would lead him to believe that Sesshoumaru was capable of the compassion, the kindness, the decency not to.

Inuyasha could not chance it.

The younger inu had sat and thought about his predicament long into the night, finally falling into a restless sleep in the early hours.

Now he was again sitting in a clearing they had appropriated for their camp. He sat apart from the two youkai gathered around the small fire after spending the day traveling. Sesshoumaru seemed to know where he was going, though he had not seen fit to tell Inuyasha of it.

That was ok. Inuyasha had come to a decision.

He waited quietly in his spot in the clearing. He waited for the night to descend upon them, the moon to rise into the sky and herald the temptation of sleep. It was a long and tense wait. The daiyoukai's vigilance could outlast the most patient of enemies, let alone the short tempered and very impatient hanyou.

Finally the night was still. Inuyasha, who had been resting with his eyes closed against a fallen log, snapped his eyes open. Shippo, as always, had fallen asleep against his chest. Inuyasha gathered the sleeping kit in his arms, careful not to wake him and cause him to make noise. Silently he rose up from the ground and stealthily inched his way to the edge of the clearing, his eyes never leaving the shadowed face of his sleeping brother. Releasing a silent breath, once he was far enough from their camp not to be heard, Inuyasha broke into a run and dashed through the woods.

Sesshoumaru knew the moment when Inuyasha had run. He had watched the hanyou inch his way from the clearing from beneath the veil of his hair, appearing to be asleep, but ever watchful. He could hear the instant when the hanyou stopped toeing through the underbrush and began to run, the sounds of breaking sticks and rustling foliage sounding in his wake.

The pitiful hanyou! He thought as he rose soundlessly from where he had been seated. A primal snarl sounded in his throat as he went after his wayward mate.

Inuyasha spared a glance down as he felt Shippo stir in his arms. He had hoped the kit would be able to sleep through the journey, but it seemed the jostling had woken him.

“Inuyasha?” Shippo questioned with a sleep worn voice, his eyes blinking out sleep as they gazed up at the inu.

“It's alright kid. We're just gonna get out of he- Gah!,” Inuyasha's assurances were cut off suddenly. In his distraction he had run them right into something. As hard as it had felt, it must have been a tree. Inuyasha paled, however, and his eyes opened impossibly wide in panic as he looked up into the cold, dangerous mask of Sesshoumaru.

“Shippo! Run!” Inuyasha whispered shakily, his breath stolen from him by the combination of the run, getting the wind knocked out of him, and his fear.

“Inuyasha..,” Shippo began, but he was spurred into action as the daiyoukai struck out and slapped Inuyasha.

“Where do you think you are going, hanyou?” Sesshoumaru demanded in his steely voice.

~*~

Inuyasha lay, listless and in pain, in the thick grasses by the river bank where they had camped for the night. It had eight days since Sesshoumaru had caught him trying to run away. More than a week since he had been dragged back kicking and screaming to the campsite by his hair.

Inuyasha had thought before he had run that he had been kept a prisoner. The days that had followed had shown him that he had been wrong. Sesshoumaru now kept him under constant scrutiny, with the only time he was able to separate from his brother being when he would slip away with his morning sickness. He did not go anyplace that Sesshoumaru did not know about or sleep anywhere but by his side. He could not bathe without an escort or hunt for himself.

That in particular had become a real problem.

For the past six days they had been traveling along the small river that ran south-westerly from the mountains in the distance. Usually that would have meant more than favorable conditions for a long journey such as this. The river meant water for drinking and bathing. Following the flow of the water gave travelers a definite point of reference and the rushing waters could be used as protection against attack. It also provided a constant source of food in the form of fish.

It would have been ideal, except for one very significant thing. Each time Sesshoumaru slapped down a juicy Masu salmon or a fresh and slippery eel, Inuyasha would end up rushing from his spot beside the daiyoukai and release the sparse contents of his stomach in the bushes. The smell that had once curled his toes with gastronomic delight, now curled his stomach with revulsion.

And the subsequent refusing of his mate's offerings left his brother in a snit every time.

Sesshoumaru was not blind to his brother's frequent trips into the bushes. His nose certainly did not miss the tell-tail stench of sick. He, however, refused to be manipulated into showing the hanyou pity or undeserved kindness.

He had always known how devious the hanyou could be. It was part of his human heritage. After all, his own father had been taken in by the sly influences of that human wench which had resulted in his lowly mate's birth. He was convinced that this show of Inuyasha's “sickness” was just that- a show.

Each time Inuyasha fell behind to the cover of the overgrowth, Sesshoumaru pointedly ignored it and continued on. He never got far enough to lose the hanyou's presence form his senses, but he would not be hindered by the hanyou's dramatics. When he would refuse the food the daiyoukai would offer, Sesshoumaru would simply give in inward shrug. He felt no remorse for not providing alternative food for his mate; he had done his duty as a seme and provided food for the brat. It was not his fault the hanyou would not eat it.

Inuyasha was growing ever more weary and fatigued and his stomach clenched painfully with hunger cramps. He had long grown used to going without, having spent more than a century as a pup fending for himself. His body, however, was consuming far more resources than was usual in its effort to provide for the budding life within him. Therefore, he had not been able to last even a fraction of the time he normally had without proper food.

His only respite from the gnawing hunger, as he was not allowed to gather his own food, was Shippo. The little kit was very concerned for Inuyasha. The hanyou refused to talk to him about it, but Shippo could not miss the exhaustion and defeat he saw in the inu's face. Each day he scampered off into the nearby forest, though never too far from Inuyasha, and he would practice the skills that the inu had taught him, or at least that was what he told Inuyasha. In reality, while he was indeed using the skills he had been taught, he just wanted to find anything that the hanyou could eat. Each night he would come back to camp with his small pockets laden with sweet berries, or a mouse or small bird he had succeeded in hunting. It wasn't much, but of what Inuyasha was able to stomach, he would scarf down as if he had not eaten in weeks.

It was with relief that he heard the distinct slap of a hand on skin and gruff “damn Flea!” from Inuyasha one morning. Perhaps Myouga could help.

Inuyasha lowered his hand from where he had smacked the annoying flea from where Myouga had begun to feast at his neck. Myouga, satisfactorily squished, tumbled down and landed on his open palm.

“Uhg! Greetings Inuyasha,” the old flea said woozily. He shook himself and straightened his small jacket before peering up at the inu hanyou. “I came to check on you with all these troubles with all of this uke business. Unfortunately after tasting your blood just now, I fear the situation has not gone as planned. I'm afraid to ask, but Inuyasha… you are pregnant, are you not?”

Inuyasha flushed in shame and to his horror, he felt his eyes prickle as that simple statement caused all of his suppressed fear to rush to the surface.

“I… I...,” he gulped nervously but was interrupted before he could continue.

“Inuyasha, you're pregnant? You're gonna have a baby?!” Shippo questioned loudly and hopped over excitedly.

“Shippo…” Inuyasha began, but trailed off as a shadow fell over him.

“What did you just say?” Sesshoumaru's deep voice sounded from above.