InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Confessions of a Broken Heart ❯ Chapter Two ( Chapter 3 )

****Though not described in detail, this story does deal with rape so be warned if that sort of topic bothers you****

 

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Title: Confessions of a Broken Heart

 

Author: dolphingirl0113

 

Chapter: Two

 

Rating: PG-13 (rated for violence, language, and implied sexual situations)

 

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.

 

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Empty.

 

That's all Kagome felt.

 

It was like someone had ripped out her very heart and put it somewhere far away, locking it in a box and hiding the key. Normally she would have felt giddy or even joyous, considering the way Inuyasha was holding her right now, like she was a precious treasure that he would keep close to him forever. But today she felt nothing.

 

From his vantage point, Inuyasha watched Kagome with concern etched into his features, desperately wanting to know what was going through her mind…if anything. She hadn't said a word the entire walk from the well to Kaede's village, and it was starting to get really unnerving. Usually she wanted to talk so much that he would have to resist the urge to slap some of the tape from her time over her lips, and right now he would have given anything to have that problem again.

 

“Kagome!” It was Shippou, bounding towards them excitedly, his bushy tail bouncing every time he made an impact with the ground. But Kagome was not in the mood for surprising noises, and tensed instantly, causing Inuyasha to tighten his grip on her protectively, wanting to assure her that everything was okay and that she was alright. He also sent Shippou a warning look, and the kitsune responded by stopping at his feet and looking up quizzically.

 

“What's wrong with Kagome?” He demanded, his little hands planted firmly on his hips. Normally Kagome would have laughed at his comical appearance, but today she wanted nothing more than to disappear. She didn't want everyone knowing what had happened to her…she couldn't bear any more sympathetic looks, because all it did was remind her.

 

“Nothing that you need to worry about,” Inuyasha finally responded to Shippou's question in a gruff voice, pushing past the little form on the ground and moving quickly towards Kaede's hut, desperate to get Kagome inside and away from prying eyes. She needed that more then anything else.

 

“Kagome-chan, you're back!” But the smile on Sango's face instantly faded when she saw Kagome's appearance. When had the girl's eyes ever looked that lifeless? “Kagome?” Sango took a step forward, and the other woman looked away, turning her head shamefully into Inuyasha's shoulder. “Are you alright?”

 

“Keh, she's fine!” Inuyasha growled. “So why don't you all stop asking her that!”

 

“Inuyasha,” Kagome whispered, and his face softened instantly as he looked down at her. She shook her head. “It's okay…you can't get mad at them for caring. In fact, I should be grateful to have such interested and considerate friends.”

 

The hanyou felt his heart melt at her words. It was so like Kagome to not get angry at a time like this, but rather just put up with the way everyone was behaving. She was, yet again, putting her own needs aside so that she could deal with the fact that everyone else was being annoying and sticking their noses where they didn't belong.

 

Sango ignored Inuyasha's command to stay away and immediately rushed to her friend's side, taking Kagome's hand in her own. “Kagome, something is wrong, I can feel it, and it's obvious by the look in your eyes. Please tell me.” But Kagome just looked away in pain, and Sango stopped short, letting her hand fall to her side.

 

“Ah, Kagome, we knew you would return once Inuyasha went back for you,” Miroku commented with his trademark grin in place, but he too stopped when he saw her face.

 

Kagome winced at the way they were looking at her. God, did she really look that different? That hideous? She sighed…of course she did. She was damaged goods now, dirtied by the hands of a sick, twisted man with cruel green eyes. It made perfect sense that she looked different now. In fact, she probably looked absolutely repulsive…at least, that's what she saw when she looked in a mirror.

 

“Inuyasha, can we just go inside?” She finally asked gently, tightening her hold on his shirt, and he nodded gruffly.

 

“Yeah, we should talk to Kaede.” He pushed through the door as he spoke, ignoring the questioning look in Miroku's eyes. He'd be damned if anyone else asked an annoying question.

 

The elderly miko was on her knees by the hearth, her hands in her lap as she gazed at the small smoldering fire, and looked up when they entered. It was clear that she immediately sensed something was wrong, because she frowned. “Inuyasha, what is it?” Her voice was gruff with age, but she still had a kind tone.

 

“Kaede, I think Kagome should talk to you,” He said as he looked down at Kagome, who grimaced at the idea. That caused him to get an idea. “I think she needs to talk to you,” he rephrased, trying to sound like his usual know-it-all self, and was disappointed when Kagome just looked away, not even putting up a fight. God, had the bastard who did this to her taken away her very will to live? The thought was discouraging.

 

“Very well,” Kaede replied, shifting so that she was facing away from the fire, and motioned toward a small mat where Kagome could sit, putting a kind smile on her face. “Let's talk, child.”

 

Inuyasha set her down gently and turned to leave, surprised when he felt a hand on his wrist. Turning, he saw Kagome gazing at him with a pleading look in her eyes as she spoke. “Please stay, Inuyasha. I…I need you with me right now.” She never acted so needy, and so, unsure of what else to say or do, he just grunted and sat down beside her…though he wasn't sure he wanted to hear what she had to say.

 

Kagome took a deep breath and looked over at Kaede, who was also shocked by the extreme change in the younger woman's appearance. She truly seemed lifeless, with her blank face and doll eyes. A lot like my sister, the miko thought to herself, shuddering at the very thought.

 

“I don't know what I should say,” Kagome commented with a chuckle, though the sound contained no energy, running nervous fingers through her ebony hair, which as a result came loose from the rubber band holding it in place at the nape of her neck. At least, Inuyasha thought randomly, she looked a little more like herself with her hair down again.

 

“Just say what you think is necessary, child,” Kaede soothed, placing a comforting hand on the girl's knee as she used every technique she'd ever been taught when it came to talking to a troubled villager. Kagome just nodded.

 

“I…I guess one thing I would like to know is if you have any, um, herbs for…for…pain down here.” Kagome pointed between her thighs with a tremendous blush, but it was no where near as obvious as Inuyasha's. He couldn't believe she had wanted him to stay to hear this! He could literally feel his face burning like red-hot coals, and was about to say something but bit back his words when he received a warning look from Kaede. He settled for just looking away with a grunt.

 

“Of course I do,” Kaede replied with a patient smile. “But might I ask why you would need this? Surely you have not…” She was about to comment that Kagome had surely not had sexual intercourse with anyone, but stopped after receiving a warning look from Inuyasha, and noticed that Kagome had suddenly paled dramatically. Dear Buddha, she thought as the pieces began to fall into place. Surely Kagome had not been…

 

“I…I have,” Kagome replied softly,” But not willingly.” Her voice cracked. She just couldn't quite bring herself to say that one word…that horrible word that caused her so much pain.

 

Kaede sucked in a silent breath, reaching back into her years of training as a miko to try and find some semblance of control at Kagome's words. In all her life she had never known such a cruel thing to happen to such a wonderful person, and it caused anger to pool in the pit of her stomach, anger like she hadn't felt since her sister had died.

 

“You needn't say any more,” she spoke quickly, rising to her feet and walking into a side room to retrieve several pots with herbs and a mixing bowl.

 

While she was momentarily gone Inuyasha reached over and took Kagome's hand, squeezing it slightly in an attempt to reassure her of his support. He smiled, and she tried to smile back, but it wavered. Still, he took hope from the fact that she had even tried. Perhaps she would be okay after all…with some time.

 

Kaede returned to the room mixing something into a bowl. “Kagome, I must ask you something, and I apologize if it is hard for you to answer.” She waited for Kagome to nod before continuing. “You've told me before that the healing technology where you come from is highly advanced. Were the healers in your time able to determine if you are with child?”

 

Kagome blushed and looked away, but shook her head. “They ran several tests, and are pretty sure that I am not pregnant, although I'll have to go back in after about a month to be sure, since the tests don't really have a chance of coming back positive until the pregnancy hormones kick in.”

 

Kaede nodded and grunted. “Alright.” She returned to mixing the contents of the bowl before pouring them into a small cup and handing it to Kagome. “Drink this. It won't taste very good, but I promise you'll feel better in the morning.”

 

Nodding, Kagome plugged her nose and tipped her head back to swallow the contents of the cup as quickly as possible, feeling a burning sensation in her mouth and throat. She grimaced as she set the cup back down with a thud, a strange, sour aftertaste now on her tongue, but she put it aside…she could deal with it.

 

“I think I'll go get a drink from the stream,” she finally said after smacking her lips together several times in an attempt to rid herself of the taste.

 

Kaede nodded. “That's a normal reaction. I've never had to drink the mixture myself, but I'm told it's rather putrid.” She grinned, clearly trying to get Kagome to do the same, but Kagome only nodded and rose to her feet.

 

Inuaysha was instantly at her side. “Do you want me to come with you?” He asked it gently, as though afraid she would blow away if he spoke too loud, and she nodded again, this time a slight grateful smile forming on her lips.

 

As was to be expected, Miroku, Sango, and Shippou were still standing outside the hut with dazed expressions, as though they'd seen a ghost and were now trying to decide if it had been real. Miroku was the first to snap out of it when Inuyasha and Kagome appeared.

 

“Kagome,” He moved quickly to her side, “Did we say or do something to upset you? Please be honest. If we did, I am deeply sorry.”

 

Kagome felt hot tears threatening her eyes as she shook her head. She felt absolutely awful for worrying them so much…for not having the courage to put up a brave front. “No, you said nothing; I just need some time to…to…” But she couldn't finish her sentence without crying, and so left it hanging in the air, continuing to walk towards the woods and the stream she knew was just beyond. The monk looked like he wanted to say more, but after receiving a low, warning growl from Inuyasha, decided to remain silent as the pair walked by.

 

“Are you okay?” Inuyasha asked once they were alone again, wishing desperately that there was something he could do. Even hitting a tree to relieve his frustrations would do the trick at that moment.

 

Kagome nodded, though tears were now openly falling down her cheeks. “They don't realize how much it hurts when…when they treat me like that,” She finally whispered after several moments of silence.

 

“What do you mean? Treat you like what?”

 

“Like I'm a freak or something.” She hugged herself tightly to accent her point, and in that moment Kagome Higurashi looked like the loneliest, most frightened person in the world.

 

“You're not a freak,” Inuyasha replied firmly, stepping in front of her and forcing her eyes to meet his. “You are Kagome, and you're just the same as you always were. Nothing has changed.”

 

“You really believe that Inuyasha?”

 

He did something unexpected in that moment, without even realizing it was happening. He smiled brightly. “Yes; I truly believe that.”

 

A glimmer of light flashed in her eyes, and Inuyasha felt his heart leap in excitement. Even though it had been for just an instant, he had seen his Kagome again, clearly trying to scratch and claw her way back to reality, trying to overthrow this doll that had overtaken her body. She had a long way to go, there was no doubt about it, but now he knew that everything would, in the end, be okay. She was strong, after all, the strongest woman he knew…and he would help her in every way he could.

 

The stream came into view, and Kagome bent over to cup the water in her hands, stopping to look at her billowy reflection for a few seconds, and felt her heart clench. She saw a girl who was extremely sad and in serious internal pain, both mentally and physically. She sighed and finally splashed the water over her face. “No wonder everyone knows right away that something's wrong with me,” she muttered.

 

“What?”

 

“Nothing.” Kagome looked away from the stream, and her haunting reflection, as she stood up, wiping a few drops of water from her mouth as she did so. “Let's go back.”

 

She started to move, but Inuyasha stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. “Wait…Kagome?”

 

She turned to look at him. “Yes?”

 

He blushed. “I…I'm not exactly an expert with this kind of thing but, well, I think you need to talk to someone about what happened.” His voice was soft, suddenly shy, and he looked at his feet as he spoke. “Not now, maybe, but eventually. I just think you need to talk about it because it would be good for you.”

 

“Why?” The idea of reliving that night was so unappealing that Kagome wanted to retch, and it was clear to Inuyasha by her suddenly sharp tone that she hated the suggestion.

 

He plunged ahead anyway. “Because I know that you always make me talk about things that are bothering me, even when I hate it, and it does, in the end, always make be feel better to get it out in the open. It's almost like relieving myself of some heavy burden, or, at the very least, sharing the load with someone else that I trust.”

 

“This is a little bit different, Inuyasah,” She replied with a dejected sigh, turning to leave, but he wasn't going to let her off that easily. She tensed in fear when he put his hand on her arm, and he instantly let go, but still continued to speak.

 

“I don't think this is one bit different, Kagome.” He looked at her with a fierce expression. “You're angry and afraid, just like I am sometimes for different reasons, and the only way those emotions will go away is if you talk to someone about it.

 

Kagome whirled on him in anger, tears in her eyes. “You think you know everything now just because it's helped you once or twice? Now you think you're some kind of Freud? Well guess what, you've got way too many problems of your own to even think about lecturing me.

 

Inuyasha had no idea what a Freud was, and didn't like the implication that he had problems of his own, but in this instance was unaffected by her temper. In fact, he was excited, taking it as an encouraging sign. If she had the confidence to fight back, even if it was for the wrong reasons, then he could take the verbal abuse. “Deny it all you want, Kagome, but I still say that eventually you'll need to talk to someone.”

 

“Whatever, Inuyasha,” She snapped, spinning on her heel and stomping off, calling over her shoulder, “I never want to relive that night again! Ever! Do you hear me? Never!”

 

Kagome was still furiously wiping her eyes when the hut came back into view, and she slowed down to give herself more time to recover, horrified at the thought of her friends seeing her this way. But she was still furious with Inuyasha. The baka…since when did he decide he knew so much about human feelings? He had a hard enough time getting in touch with his own inner human, let alone hers!

 

“Kagome!” A booming male voice called out her name happily, and without meaning to, Kagome shrieked and came to an instant halt, her heart racing. She found Kouga suddenly at her side, smiling confidently, his posture erect, his hands on his hips, his long black ponytail blowing about and his blue eyes sparkling with life.

 

He took his hand and put it on her elbow like he always did as he spoke, pulling her close. “I knew you were back from your home,” He said excitedly, winking. “I can always smell my woman.” But the wolf man stopped suddenly when he realized that Kagome was shaking, and released her as though his hands had been burned. He sniffed the air, and growled when he caught the scent of fear. “Kagome? What's wrong?

 

He stepped towards her again, but this time Kagome backed away fearfully, and, without meaning to, ran into Inuyasha, who had run into the clearing with his hand on the hilt of tetsusaiga, responding to her scream. The hanyou saw Kouga and quickly put a protective arm around her waist to assure her everything was alright while glaring steadily at the wolf man.

 

“Dog turd, what the hell did you do to my Kagome?” Kouga demanded, suddenly furious and wanting to know what had made Kagome so afraid that she would back away from her own mate. He had never, ever given her reason to fear him…at least, not since he'd first kidnapped her and his tribe threatened to eat her. But that was all almost two years in the past, she was long since over that.

 

“I did nothing, baka,” Inuyasha growled in reply, tightening his hold on Kagome instinctively as she shivered.

 

“If you think I'll believe that then you truly think I am a fool,” Kouga snorted, looking again at Kagome's shaking form. She was clinging to Inuyasha as though her very life was on the line, and her skin had gone deathly pale. Gods above, he thought, wracking his brain for an explanation, what was wrong with her?

 

“Kouga,” She finally whispered, pulling away from Inuyasha after several minutes of silence, both men turning to look at her. “I…I'm sorry for worrying you like that, and I didn't mean to act like I was afraid. I just…I just need some…some…” Tears came, yet again, to her eyes, and Kagome ran into Kaede's hut in shame at her cowardice.

 

“Don't even think about following her,” Inuyasha growled, and Kouga stopped mid-step, turning to glare at the hanyou.

 

“What's wrong with her?” He hissed dangerously, his body moving into a battle stance, causing Inuyasha to narrow his eyes.

 

Finally the hanyou sighed and raised his eyes to the sky in exasperation. “Do you honestly think I would do something so horrible that it would cause her to act this way?” His eyes softened again as he glanced toward the hut.

 

Kouga shrugged and let out his breath, which he'd been holding in anticipation of Inuyasha's answer, his posture relaxing. “No, you may be a baka, but you would never intentionally do something to my Kagome.”

 

“She's not your Kagome,” the hanyou ground out, and Kouga waved it away as though it didn't matter.

 

“Whatever.” Both men turned and stared at the hut where Kagome had disappeared for several minutes in silence before the wolf man spoke again. “But what is wrong with her? She's never been afraid of me before. If you had nothing to do with it, then who did?

 

Inuyasha could tell by his expression and his tone that Kouga was hurt, and for some reason suddenly felt the need to put the situation in context, for once actually feeling sorry for his rival. “Kagome, while staying back in her time, was attacked and raped,” he said, feeling like Mrs. Higurashi had sounded in her kitchen…very mechanical, as though that were the only way to keep the pain at bay.

 

Kouga instantly tensed again and gave out a long, low growl. “Who did it?” He demanded in a dangerous hiss. “Who hurt her? I swear his hide will be mine when I find him…!”

 

“She doesn't know who did it, stupid,” Inuyasha interrupted, though he certainly understood exactly how the wolf was feeling. “However,” He finally added, “I do intend to find out…one way or another.”

 

“Good,” Kouga stood back up and relaxed with a snort. “When you do, be sure to let me know.”

 

Inuyasha grinned, and for a short moment actually liked the man before him. They may hate each other's guts, but they also had something very important in common, and that one thing had been gravely hurt. Perhaps, just this once, they could form an alliance and work together to avenge Kagome.

 

Suddenly the pleasant silence was interrupted by a call of alarm from the village, and Kagome, Miroku, Sango, Shippou, and Kaede all stumbled out of the hut to see what was wrong, not having to wait long to find out.

 

There was a large gust of wind, nearly knocking everyone to the ground, and then Kagura was standing before them with her usual evil smirk in place, her fan at her side loosely, a hand on her hip. At least a hundred demons were hovering in the air behind her, and Inuyasha and Kouga growled in unison, moving in front of Kagome protectively.

 

“I see neither of you have changed,” Kagura commented mockingly, covering her smile with her fan. She turned so that she was looking straight at Kagome, or rather, the shards around her neck, and her expression turned serious. “Girl, I believe you have something that Naraku wants.”

 

Kagome took a step back.

 

“Perfect timing, as always, I see,” Inuyasha grumbled, unsheathing tetsusaiga and pointing it at the wind sorceress. “Your battle is with me, Kagura, not Kagome.”

 

Kagura eyed him carefully, her beady red eyes flaring dangerously as she seemed to consider something, before smiling again. “You know something, for once you're right, Inuyasha. Your battle is with me, but hers,” she indicated Kagome with a flick of her fan, “Is with him.

 

And with that she stepped elegantly aside, the demons also parting like the Red Sea, to reveal the one man Kagome did not want to see, and the one man Inuyasha had been hoping she could avoid for a few months. It figured, he thought to himself with a growl, that the one time they weren't wanting to find him he decided to come and find them.

 

Naraku had his usual smirk in place, dressed in his baboon suit with Kanna at his side, holding her mirror and looking as vacant as usual. He chuckled. “We shall end this today.”

 

Kagome just shuddered.