InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Confrontation II: Trials and Tribulations ❯ Questions, Answers, and Lies ( Chapter 15 )

A/N: As always, all characters will be walking that fine line of OOCness. There is not much for me to say, except, thank you for your wonderful reviews and continued support!! From this chapter on, things will not be as fluffy or loving as it was in previous chapters. So I say to you, “Enter the Agnst!!!”

 

Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership to anyone, with the exception of Rinji, Mana, Kanomaru, Joudama, Susamajii, Teela, and fast becoming my favorite, Reinto.

 

Chapter 15:

 

Questions, Answers, and Lies

 

Inuyasha laid stretched out on his and Kagome's bed for the time being, his legs crossed at the ankle and his arms folded comfortably behind his head. He stared up at the ceiling of their room, while thoughts of the day's happenings danced through his head.

 

No matter how much he tried to quell the feeling of absolute dread, which had burrowed into his very soul, he just couldn't. For some reason everything about the three new youkai's that had shown up unannounced earlier in the day, caused him to be even more on edge than normal. True enough, he'd never trusted any youkai, no matter who it was. One would've thought that since Sesshomaru had welcomed them in, it would mean that they were trust worthy, wouldn't it? Unfortunately, that did nothing for the hanyou.

 

That was the problem, wasn't it? Even though in the end his brother had welcomed the youkai's in, Inuyasha could sense his reluctance.

 

`Why in the hell didn't you turn them away, Sesshomaru?' he thought, but knew even if his brother was right here in front of him, he still wouldn't get an answer.

 

Inuyasha had watched from within the hidden branches of a Sakura tree as Rinji opened the gates and led them in. He'd eyed them each curiously.

 

Almost immediately he was able to pick out the one called Susamajii. He could tell because he was the only one decked out in clothing similar to that of his asshole brothers'. Except this Inu youkai's garments were purple with silver or maybe white designs across the shoulder and down both arms. If he had to guess the youkai's age, by the length of his hair, he had to be much older than Sesshomaru, since his smoked white silver mane raked lightly across the ground as he walked. Behind him, he noticed a female Inu youkai. She stood taller than Sango, Rin and Kagome, yet shorter than himself.

 

Inuyasha slowly allowed his eyes to roam innocently over the female dog demon. Taking in her sophisticated fuchsia, soft yellow and pink layered kimono, and the way her golden bronze locks were pinned at the crown of her head. He knew, without putting much thought into it that whatever clan she was from, she was of very high breeding.

 

For a brief almost nonexistent moment, he couldn't help but to stare at her pink rosebud lips, and the way her high cheekbones accentuated her perfectly carved emerald green eyes. At first this…she intrigued him because he had never in all his years met a female dog demon. However, it took only one whiff of her scent on the wind and he knew that even though she was rather easy on the eyes, she was not enticing in the least, at least not to him.

 

Later that night, actually on the way to his room he got a chance to get a strong whiff of her scent, while passing by the room that she was staying in and he realized quickly that she was unmated. So then he wondered, `Why in the hell would an unmated woman travel with two men that were not her family?'

 

Inuyasha knew enough to know that in this era, a woman, be she a human or a youkai, and especially one of high breeding, was not allowed to travel with a male of any shape or form unless he was her mate or a very close blood relative. So then the question still remained, `Why in the hell is she traveling with those assholes, if she's mated to neither? This isn't making any sense!' he thought confusedly. He knew that if no one else followed the unspoken rules of etiquette, Inu youkai did.

 

Sighing lightly, he glanced over at the balcony door that was partially open and mumbled, “If that prick ain't worried about this, why should I be?”

 

Blinking a few times, he watched as a small firefly flew erratically passed the door. He didn't know why, but every time he saw one of these little light bright creatures it reminded him of the one-person…the woman that made his heart flutter.

 

Maybe it was the way it would fly by, the same way she would walk by and draw the attention of everyone present. Perhaps it was because this creature like her was so gentle in nature, that to hurt it would be nothing less than a travesty. Or maybe…just maybe it was because she, like the firefly, was just too damn fragile.

 

Sighing, the Inu hanyou shifted slightly so that his right arm was covering his eyes.

 

He knew he needed to talk to her, about the night before, but what good would that do? Sure he'd blurted something that he didn't mean to say, but truth be told, it needed to be said, right?

 

`Baka, baka, baka!'

 

He'd caught her glancing at him from time to time at the dinner table as if she wanted to say something, but couldn't gather the nerve to. So being the big strong outspoken half demon he was, he made sure he finished eating before her and disappeared up to their room, in hopes that she wouldn't follow.

 

Hell, the majority of the day, he'd avoided her at all cost. Hoping that he'd be able to come up with something mind-blowing…spectacular…magnificent to say to her, to make the ache he could feel in aura go away. He had no such luck.

 

`Must I always put my goddamn foot in my mouth?' he thought with a lethargic groan.

 

He knew the smart thing to do was to sit her down and talk to her, but for the life of him, he couldn't. If he did that, he'd have to explain in depth, why he felt the way he did. Or he'd have to lie to her and give her false hope.

 

`False hope would be better than no hope, wouldn't it?' Growling out of pure frustration, he quickly answered his own question, `That would just make things that much worse, you ass!'

 

The hanyou felt like he was stuck between a rock and a hard place and there wasn't a damn thing that he could do about it. He hated seeing her so withdrawn and miserable. To know that he was the cause of this was enough to shake his very being to the core. Still he felt reluctant to make the first step. To go to her like he would've done on any other occasion and force her to talk to him...

 

Perhaps it was best if they didn't talk at all.

 

Before he had a chance to resign himself to that decision, he heard the door to their room slide slowly open. Turning his head slowly, he watched quietly, inconspicuously as she…his mate walked slowly into the room.

 

`Ka…Kagome?'

 

He could feel the heartache she was feeling. He could see his words weighing her down as if it was massive boulders upon her shoulders. He could feel it, couldn't he? He could feel every ounce of the pain, frustration, disappointment and confusion she was feeling.

 

`Kagome?'

 

Inuyasha watched her carefully. Her head was down; her dark hair lay dull and lifeless down her back and over her shoulders. Her hands were clasped gently before her as she stopped at the foot of the bed. He cringed visibly, wanting nothing more than to jump up and run away leaving her here alone, but he didn't…he couldn't. Instead he sat up slowly, opened his arms and welcomed her in as she collapsed into him and began to sob softly into his chest.

 

“Ka…Kagome, don't cry. P…please…don't cry,” he begged quietly, while holding her close and soothingly rubbing the back of her head. He didn't need to ask why she was crying, because he knew the reason. He knew the idiot that had hurt her and he wanted to kill him for it! `I am such a fool. I'm sorry,' he thought as he squeezed her shoulders reassuringly.

 

Kagome clutched to him as if her very life depended it on it. This wasn't her plan. She was just going to come in and gather her things so that she could meet Sango and Rin in the bathhouse, but the minute she slid the door open and saw him lying there. All of the emotions she had been feeling throughout the day came rushing back. The decisions she had come to… The wall she had built around the things that she secretly desired… All of it came flooding back like a wave of angry untamed miasma.

 

`Inu…Inuyasha'

 

She felt him pull her closer to him as he sat up further in the bed so that his back was pressed up against the wall. She didn't have the strength to fight him, so she went along for the ride.

 

As her sobbing dwindled down to mere sniffles, Inuyasha stated hesitantly, “Kagome, we…we have to talk.”

 

Hearing the reluctance in his voice, something cried out to her to stop him, but she couldn't, not this time. Maybe, just this once, he wouldn't say something that would break her heart. Maybe, just maybe he would tell her that she was being foolish to worry about children since they would have more than a few, before their time on this earth was through.

 

Rubbing her nose across his hairless chest, she held on tighter to him and whispered, “I'm sorry, Inuyasha. I…I didn't mean to start crying. I…I just feel…”

 

“Shush,” he whispered cutting her off. “It's my fault.” After a brief intake of air, he stated, “Last night, I shouldn't have… I…I should have…” He failed miserably, so he tried again, “Kagome, you know I've never been good with words, but…but I never meant to hurt you.”

 

She nodded slowly into the side of his chest that her head was resting against and sniffled, but she didn't say anything in hopes that he would continue.

 

“Last night when you were talking about pups and us having them, I…don't know what happened.” He knew he was distorting the truth, but he was going somewhere with this, so he continued, “I got scared and I blurted the first stupid thing that came to mind.” That was the absolute truth, still he continued, “We'd never discussed having pups, so to have it just thrown out there like that…” Inuyasha stumbled over his words then finished quickly, “I don't know Kagome, I…I just hate seeing you look so miserable.”

 

Finally she tilted her head up and looked into his worried eyes. “I didn't think of it like that. I…I thought that you were just being your usual self.”

 

Inuyasha tried to smirk at her but failed. Pulling her close, he buried his nose into her hair and inhaled. `Kami, I love you, Kagome. If I could give you the world I would, please don't ever doubt that.'

 

Snuggling against him, her head resting comfortably in the crook of his neck, she asked softly, “So then, you really didn't mean what you said?”

 

Inuyasha had heard her question clearly, but didn't know how to answer her. If he told her the truth that he meant everything he said, it would bring them right back to where they started, but if he lied… If he lied to her and told her, `No he didn't mean it', then she would smile again, wouldn't she?

 

He swallowed not knowing what she truly wanted…needed to hear. Did she want…did she need him to lie to her? Did she need to believe that he wanted what he didn't, just so she could be happy?

 

`Don't Kagome. Don't ask me something you really don't want to know the answer to. Don't do this to yourself,' he thought sadly.

 

He'd never lied to her before about anything, be it small or otherwise. Sure he'd reword the truth to mean what he wanted it to, or to soften the blow, but to outright tell a bold-faced lie, never. Would this be the first time? Would she force him, unknowingly, to tell her what she wanted to hear…to lie to her?

 

He knew he was taking too long to reply to her when she sat back away from him and looked at him. Her eyes were filled with trust, hopefulness and so much love that he could barely stand it.

 

Staring back into her beautiful brown eyes, he knew that he couldn't hurt her, not again. If he told her that he didn't want pups, that would truly crush her, wouldn't it? He couldn't do that. He couldn't hurt her like that. Before he could talk himself out of it, he stated softly and with a severely heavy heart, “No, no I didn't mean it.” His immediate thought was, `I'm such a fucking liar.'

 

The smile that greeted him after his response was one that he knew he didn't deserve, but he gladly accepted anyway.

 

Kagome sunk into his embrace. The weight that she had been logging around all day finally lifted from her shoulder. “I knew I was over reacting, I just knew it,” she whispered excitedly, as she pulled his head down to hers for a chaste kiss. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” she whispered into his mouth as she rolled up on her knees so that she was straddling his waist.

 

Kissing his eye lids, the tip of his nose, both sides of his cheeks, then his chin, the miko whispered, “My mate, my husband, my love, I'm sorry that I doubted you. Can you ever forgive me?”

 

Hearing her sweet words of endearment only caused the hanyou to sink a little further into the sea of guilt and shame that he could feel slowly rising around him. There was no possible way that this would or could end well, no possible way at all!

 

Lies are funny things, aren't they? You can tell a small innocent lie and that little lie will lead to another and another and another. Finally the liar is lying just to cover up lies. Soon the only things that will fall from his lips are, well, lies.

 

Inuyasha knew this to be a well-known fact and he sighed depressingly, `What have I done?' He knew that not only would he have to talk to her about pups and pretend that he was actually interested and happy, but he'd also have to act as if he didn't know why she wasn't getting pregnant. When the real reason was him and the night of the full moon, his one true blessing in this mess. `What in the hell have I done?' Staring at the glow that was slowly returning to her beautiful face his thought finished, `I made her happy at the expense of my soul, that's what I did.'

 

Kagome pulled back and smiled genuinely up at him. “Inuyasha, what's wrong? You look…you look so sad.”

 

He gave her a small half smile and asked softly as he reached up and caressed her cheek soothingly, “Are you happy? Have I made you happy, my mate?”

 

Missing the dismal way in which he spoke, the elated young woman relaxed into his touch and nodded approvingly. Running her hands gently over the length of his chest and up the back of his neck, she leaned in and kissed him tenderly once, twice, three times, each kiss lingering just a little bit longer than the one before. She then whispered, “Now let me make you just as happy.

 

Inuyasha smiled at her. `At least one of us, feels good about this,' he thought as he quickly switched their positions. “Can we just lay here for a while?” he asked as he laid her down so that her back was flat against the bed with he at her side.

 

Kagome giggled girlishly. “If you want to. But I thought you loved our make up sex.”

 

The hanyou actually blushed. “I…I do. But tonight, at least for a little while I want to just hold you, okay?”

 

It was already happening, wasn't it? Just that one little lie was making it so that he couldn't function properly. Anyone else would have probably, pushed the lie and the guilt to the back of their minds, and laid with her as if nothing had changed, but he couldn't. He just couldn't. He felt that in some way, he had lost that right.

 

Rolling over so that her back was pressed against him, she replied as she snuggled against him, “Whatever makes you happy.”

 

Inuyasha curled around her. Breathing in her scent, he felt a part of him…the part that he prided himself on, die. He had been proud of the fact that he had never lied to her. He had worn that like a badge of honor but now…now he was no better than the rest. Burying his nose into the roots of her hair, he thought with a frown, `I never thought I deserved you before, but now…now I know I don't.'

 

Simonkal of Inuy

 

 

He'd never realized just how long the night was before tonight. He'd been laying beside his mate and pup for what seemed like a millennium.

 

He wasn't sure whether the ceiling was staring at him, or if he was staring at it, and honestly, it really didn't matter. It was the image of two massive Inu youkai forms snarling at an unidentified enemy, that was giving him what little entertainment there was to be found during the wee hours of the morning, when ones' mate was wrapped possessively around a four year old.

 

It wasn't a picture of himself in animal form or of his father. Hell, he hadn't even placed the illustration there, it just was.

 

Sesshomaru supposed that it was left by one of his ancestors that ruled these lands before he or his father were ever created.

 

`There have been so many before me. Which one would have depicted such a thing?'

 

He'd contemplated having it removed but at the insistence of his mate, who said that it made her feel like they were being protected by an unseen force or a higher power, he left it as it was.

 

The Inu Lord figured he'd never see the pictorial that covered his ceiling from corner to corner the way Rin did, so on nights like this he'd just stare up at it. To him it was just another battle. Perhaps, even a reminder that there is strength in alliances or maybe it was a reminder to the new lord that there will always be an unknown enemy waiting just out of sight to take what you have.

 

`That makes more sense than an unseen protector, doesn't it?'

 

He was loath to believe that anyone would willingly protect another without an ulterior motive. Sure, he'd protected Rin when she was younger, but he'd claimed her as his pet, in those days. Then there was Jakken…

 

Sesshomaru growled low at the thought of the imp's name in his head. He was still furious with him, for his actions. Sitting up abruptly, he stared out the huge balcony doors and into the brilliant glow of the moonlight. `That imbecile!'

 

“My love, is everything okay?” Rin asked pulling herself out of a sleep-induced haze. She'd heard his growl and had come to attention, though lethargically.

 

Glancing behind him at her sleep wrinkled face and bed head, he smiled lightly and whispered, while reaching over his lightly snoring son to rub a gentle thumb across her jaw line, “Sleep, Rin. Everything is fine.”

 

The young woman stared at him, not wanting to give up so easily. She knew, however, that even if something were seriously wrong, she wouldn't get any answers. He'd always been that way, hadn't he?

 

Smiling at him softly, she replied, “If you say so.” Pulling the covers up so that Kanomaru was tucked deeper into the covers, Rin snuggled against her only son and pretended to try to go back to sleep. She knew this wasn't going to be an easy thing to accomplish, since her nerves were still rather frazzled because of the happenings of that afternoon.

 

Closing her eyes, she tried to block out the feelings of dread that she felt as she hid in the tunnel awaiting word from her mate that everything was fine. It had taken everything in her to keep Kanomaru quiet and not begging to be with his father, but miraculously she had.

 

It had all happened so fast that Rin hadn't had time to think, really.

 

One minute she was sitting up in her room watching her child sleep fitfully, and then the next minute, she was being ushered down into her husband's study. Told that she was to follow the tight tunnel to the beach, then make her way to her brother-in-laws village, should she hear any signs of battle. Of course he didn't go into any other explanations, so she did as she was told, though grudgingly.

 

About an hour or so later, he finally opened the door that was positioned under the floorboards in his study and beneath the exact spot that he sat on when receiving guests. After releasing them, he told her that for now everything was okay and that they had guests that would be staying for a few days.

 

Of course she asked him what kind of guests, but he didn't elaborate beyond two male dog demons and a female demon. This caused her to feel even more shaken.

 

She knew that had he not felt that she and Kano were in some kind of danger he would have never gone to such lengths as to hide them. Since he had, she subconsciously decided for herself that until these youkai's vacated her home, she would remain on her toes at all times, hence her reason for the lack of sleep.

 

“Rin, I know that you are not a sleep.”

 

Cracking an eyelid open, she stared at her mate and replied softly, “Sleep is not something that comes easy to me tonight, my love.”

 

“What worries you?”

 

Sitting up slowly, Rin shifted so that she was sitting with her legs folded beneath her. Bowing her head a little, she spoke softly, “The three youkai's you spoke of earlier. Though I have not seen them as of yet, I can't help but to wonder if I should be worried.” Glancing down at her son, she reached over and soothingly rubbed the back of his head. “After what happened to him in the forest…Is it wise to have demons in our home?”

 

Sesshomaru stood up, his finely crafted chest bare, his hakama hanging loosely around his hips showing off his well-toned abs. Stepping away from the bed and towards the open doors that led to the balcony, he asked, “Do you believe that this Sesshomaru, can not protect what is his?”

 

Bowing lightly, even though his back was turned to her, Rin replied, “Of course not, my love. I know you can and will protect him with your life, but that does not stop me from worrying.” Sitting back, she stared down at her sleeping son, “I carried him within my body. He is my child. I am his mother. I would feel less of a mother if I did not worry about his safety.”

 

`And I am his father,' Sesshomaru thought, but did not respond, since there was nothing to respond to. `She is worried about his safety, when there is so much more at stake.' He was in no way shape or form making light of his son's safety. He just happened to know that that was only one of the many things to be concerned with, when Susamajii was afoot.

 

Rin stared at him, wanting nothing more than to beg him to speak with her, to tell her everything that he knew. Pushing off the bed, she made sure not to the disturb Kano as she made her way in her mate's direction. Stepping around the bed so that she was standing a few feet behind him, she whispered as she bowed low to the ground, “Husband, please do not keep this Rin at bay. She knows that there is something amiss and only wishes to be enlightened so that she may help protect the only family that she has.”

 

`Wife, I cannot tell you what you wish to know, because you will surely overreact. This Sesshomaru has everything under control. You must trust in him.'

 

Looking down on her thinly clad back as she bowed low to him, he sighed and knelt to meet her. Pulling her up gently so that she was looking at him eye to eye, he stated, “Rin, you do not bow to me in private.” Staring at her for a moment, he quickly leaned in to place a gentle kiss to her slightly parted lips. Brushing her bangs away from her face, he added, “You do not need to worry about these guests, they are my problem, I shall deal with them.”

 

The young mother stared into his golden orbs looking for… Hoping to find comfort in his words and a small part of her did, but the motherly…the protective part, saw the uncertainty in his gaze. `Uncertainty, he's never unsure about anything!' she thought, while she brought up her hand to palm the side of his face.

 

Pulling her to her feet, Sesshomaru stood up as well but turned quickly away. He could tell by the sympathetic look on her face that she had seen more than he wanted her to. Clearing his throat, he stated nonchalantly, in hopes of directing her away from her current train of thought, “If you are worried, perhaps you should cancel the celebration.”

 

“Surely you jest. It will take place in four days time, the preparations are nearly complete.” Rin stated, not knowing if he was serious or not. However his statement brought another question to mind, “Will these guests be attending, my love?”

 

Sesshomaru glanced at her, but didn't respond right away.

 

“My love, I need to know, so that I can make room for them, if that is the case.”

 

Sesshomaru stated, “It seems that an invitation to Kanomaru's 5th is what initiated this impromptu visit to begin with.”

 

Had he looked back at his mate, he would've seen her blanch slightly and step back grasping her chest.

 

“Their names, my love, tell me, what are their names?”

 

“If I told you, would you recognize them?” he asked, not trying to be insensitive, but sometimes… Alright most times, regardless of what he said, it always came out that way.

 

Rin stared at him, unsure of exactly how to answer that. She herself had filled out the invitations and sent Jakken to deliver them. Outside of the ones to Inuyasha and a few of the women that she had met on her visits to towns near and far, she didn't remember sending any to any demons. `I gave Jakken two extra ones and told him that if he thought of anyone else, that should be there, he should deliver them,' she thought frantically.

 

Glancing over his shoulders at his mate, Sesshomaru immediately noticed the look of despair on her face. “Rin, is everything alright?” He knew without a doubt that she didn't have a clue as to who Susamajii was or his relationship with him. Quite honestly it never crossed his mind that she would have had any part in inviting the demon. That is until now. Turning around so that he was facing her, he asked in a low husky tone, “What did you do?”

 

She looked up at him, her eyes riddled with fear and anxiety. “I…I don't believe I've done anything, but if you say that this demon received an invitation, then it must have been from me, right?”

 

The Inu Lord stared at her, one eyebrow raised higher than the other, but he didn't respond. `I knew this celebration idea was bad.'

 

“I only invited a few people from Inuyasha and Kagome's village and a few woman that befriended myself and Kanomaru at some of the villages that we stopped at on our last journey. I…I made sure that it was women with small children that didn't mind that I was married to a demon or that Kanomaru was a hanyou.”

 

“This does not explain why Susamajii advised me that he received an invite,” Sesshomaru stated, hoping that she would hurry up and clarify exactly how that happened.

 

The panicked young woman glanced at him then looked away. “Well, you see, I…”

 

“Rin, when you speak to your mate, you will look at him and not at the wall.” He knew when she got nervous or felt that she had done something that he wouldn't approve of, she'd find it hard to look at him for fear that he would berate her. He didn't have a clue as to why she thought this way, since he had never once raised his voice at her and would chop his own hand off if he ever hit her.

 

She looked up shyly, her eyes glistening with tears that wanted to fall. Swallowing hard she began, “The day that Jakken was to leave to deliver the invitations…” Licking her lips, she looked quickly away then back at her mate who was waiting patiently for her to finish her statement. “I gave him two extra ones, and told him, that if he remembered anyone along the way that would benefit from coming to the party, that he should deliver them.” Standing to her feet, Rin stepped towards her husband. “I never thought he'd give it to a demon, knowing our situation.” Taking another step forward so that she could have reached out and touched him had she wanted to, she finished, “I'm sorry, my love. This is my entire fault. It's my fault that these…these demons are here now.”

 

Looking down at her, he sighed lightly. It was just as he had thought. It was Jakken's fault, all Jakken's fault. “You have done nothing wrong.” Reaching out, he pulled her to him as he watched the first of her tears trail slowly down her face. “There is no need for you to cry, Rin.”

 

“But…but if I hadn't given…”

 

“Stop it. Jakken made the decision to travel to the south to deliver the invitation. Therefore he will suffer the consequences once this is all said and done,” the Inu Lord responded, but in his mind he wondered, `If she gave him two invitations, whom did that ass deliver the second one too?'

 

Sniffling lightly, she looked up into his intense eyes and asked, “You will not hurt him, will you?”

 

“Actually, I'm deciding just how bad I'm going to,” he replied blandly while glancing back out into the night sky.

 

Rin giggled. Even when he wasn't trying to make her laugh, or ease her frantic mind; somehow he always managed to do so. “My love, is everything really okay? These demons, do they mean to harm us?”

 

Gazing down at the crown of his mate's head he whispered, “Everything will be fine.” But in his mind his response was, `You, they have not threatened, but our pup's future and my life… These are things I'm sure are yet to be decided and are easily forfeited.'

 

Scooping up his mate, he walked around to her side of the bed and laid her down. “Sleep now, morning will be here soon,” he whispered.

 

Returning back to his side of the bed, he stretched out and closed his eyes though his senses would not sleep this night. Shifting slightly as his son snuggled into his side, Sesshomaru thought, `How much have you heard, Teela?'

 

Though there was no scent accompanied by the feeling, he knew who it was and what manner of spying she was utilizing. For now he would play along with them. He would pretend, as if he knew not what they were doing, until he was certain of Susamajii's true plan.

 

Outside, just below the opened balcony, lingered a pair of transparent emerald green eyes. Believing that they had seen and heard enough for one night, without being noticed by the occupants of the room, they vanished in the same manner in which they had come.

 

Until Next Time… (Your .02 cents is greatly appreciated.)