InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Confrontation II: Trials and Tribulations ❯ Misguided ( Chapter 21 )

A/N: As always all character's will be walking that fine line of OOCness. The long awaited update is here. It took me awhile to write this one for several reasons, but I think it was worth it. I'll leave it up to you guys to let me know, okay? Thank you Neko Lady for all your help and support.

 

Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership to anyone with the exception of Kanomaru, Rinji, Teela, Mana, Reinto, Masotako, Joudama and Susamajii.

 

Chapter 21:

 

Misguided

 

Twilight lay like a thick black blanket over the land of the west. Not even the moon it would seem could disturb the quiet darkness that surrounded the youkai as he walked slowly through the forest.

 

Reinto's mood was somber…detached. What he had just done… The people he was told to kill… The people he had killed weighed heavy on his soul…his mind. The homes he'd destroyed… The families that were now mourning…

 

He shook his head as if he could shake away the memories of the screams and frantic shouts for mercy…for help…for a savior.

 

No one came. No one tried… No man could've stopped him.

 

The first thing he did when he ran into the village was to bring down the hut that housed the two-tailed cat. Then he ran swiftly from hut to hut, tearing each of them down on the occupants within. Once that was done, he began to set fires to each of them.

 

As he did this, he felt like it wasn't him per se. It was a version of him, or rather someone that looked like him. He felt as if he was standing off to the side watching this person…this beast…this vile creature kill helpless defenseless humans. He wanted to run at him and tear out his heart. He wanted to behead him in the worst way possible, but he couldn't, because he knew deep down, it was he.

 

“Kill them all with the exception of one, Reinto,” he heard Susamajii's voice whisper within his head and he turned swiftly lashing out at the nearest tree.

 

`Who was he to demand that I do these things? When will this stop! Why did it have to be humans? Why did it have to be women and children!'

 

Reinto brought down tree after tree as the shouts of the villagers wrapped around and engulfed him. He hadn't wanted to do it! He'd thought…he'd thought that this time would be no different from all the other times, but it was.

 

If they were demons, then he knew this wouldn't be hitting him in such away. However, they…all of them, were weak, fragile, pathetic little creatures that wanted nothing more than to survive through their short non-important existences.

 

There wasn't a damn thing that any of them could have done to harm him, and still he took everything from them. In the matter of a few minutes, he'd stolen everything…everything.

 

“Monster,” he growled hatefully as he punched through a huge aged tree.

 

He wasn't sure if he was calling himself a monster or if he was calling Susamajii one for ordering such a senseless asinine attack. What he did know for sure was that, he hated…absolutely despised his existence.

 

`Is this all that I am meant to be? Is there no more?' he thought painfully as his iridescent blue eyes stared up at nothing. `Father, Mother…' he finished with a soft whimper. He knew that the life that he now led would not have been one that his mother and father would've approved of.

 

Though it had been centuries since their deaths, he could still remember the lessons his father had tried to instill in him. He could remember the way his mother would gently berate him if he tried to step on a caterpillar or if he was caught pulling the wings off of flies or butterflies.

 

He hadn't a clue as to what his father did when he'd leave for days, weeks, or months on end, but he knew that it was honorable…it was respectful. It was… It was absolutely nothing like this.

 

No, this, what he was trained to do… what he was expected to do by…for Susamajii, would not be acceptable in their eyes, as it was not in his own.

 

`And still I've followed him. I've carried out his pointless attacks. I've taken countless lives for him, leaving his hands always clean and mine sullied with the smell…the color stain of blood,' these thoughts mocked him as he stared down at his clawed hands. `Will this smell…this stench ever wash away?'

 

Coming to a stop in front of the wall the led to the Western Lord's estate, Reinto realized rather quickly that he had no desire to see, talk to, or be within scenting range of Susamajii.

 

For the first time since he had come to live with the Southern Lord, he had to admit, that he was growing to hate him. However, he was smart enough to know that without Susamajii, he would not be here today.

 

`Maybe that would have been best,' he thought as he turned and walked towards the west and the ocean that sat just over the cliffs.

 

The sound of the waves crashing against the rocks was a soothing sound; it was like the voice of a siren…a banshee, calling out to him, promising him an eternity's peace.

 

As he neared the cliffs, Reinto stopped and grimaced his nostrils flaring. Balling up his fists, his chest heaved up and down in anger as he stared into the lining of trees, demanding without saying a thing that the person show herself.

 

He allowed his aura to unravel and whip out into the forest like a deadly viper. He knew who it was, which did nothing to quell his rising anger.

 

“Just the youkai, I wanted to see,” Teela stated coolly as she stepped out of the trees, her feet whispering across the forest floor.

 

“What do you want?” he queried through clenched teeth, his fists balled up at his sides.

 

Grinning sheepishly, Teela smoothed out the fabric of her evening kimono. “I was out for an evening stroll is all, and you, Reinto?”

 

“None of you fucking business,” he snapped irritably as he stared at the woman. He had a feeling in the pit of his belly that she was up to something; he just didn't know what that was. “Go back inside. You have no business roaming around out here,” he finished as he turned to walk away.

 

Teela stared at his back as he walked towards the cliff and stopped, his fingers interlaced behind his back, his head held high and she grinned mischievously.

 

`Who would've ever thought that you, Reinto, were a Lord,' she thought with a mental snort.

 

She could tell that he was upset about something, but she couldn't care less what that was. The golden haired bitch had her own plan to put into action and it started with getting rid of Susamajii, then him, and finally the human bitch shacking up with her proclaimed mate.

 

Stepping towards him, she stopped so that she was a few feet behind him. If this was going to work, she had to make him believe that he could trust her. She had to make him believe that she was looking out for his best interest and that she had no ulterior motives.

 

“Reinto-sama, I…” she started, but was cut off.

 

“Why are you still here?” he asked in a clipped tone, without looking behind him.

 

“I lied to you when I told you that I was out for a walk.”

 

Glancing over his shoulder, he asked, “Do you really think I care, Teela?”

 

“I…I know you don't, but I needed to talk to you. I needed to tell you what I heard today. I…I don't know if it's true or not, but I felt you had a right to know,” she stuttered for good measure.

 

Teela knew she was taking a risk with him by acting so innocent and helpful after what happened with their last encounter, but she also knew that if she approached him in her normal manner, he wouldn't pay her an ounce of attention.

 

Reinto sighed exasperatedly as he turned back towards the ocean. Inhaling deeply, he then exhaled as he responded gruffly, “Teela, leave me alone. I don't have the energy to deal with you right now. Besides, shouldn't you be with Susamajii?”

 

She smirked, since she knew he couldn't see her. Schooling her features, she stepped forward and tried to sound as pathetic and frightened as demonly possible, “It…it's about Susa…Susamajii. You're going to `want' to hear this, Reinto-sama.”

 

The dog demon growled and almost shouted as he turned on her, his eyes flashing red then back to their beautiful shade of blue, “I don't want to hear nothing you have to say about Susamajii and I damn sure don't want to stand hear talking to you! Just… For fuck's sake, just…just leave me alone!”

 

Reinto felt like he was coming undone at the seams. He felt like his life, what he wanted and whatever plans he had for himself, didn't matter! No one cared what he wanted; no one took into consideration that he was miserable and sick and tired of this…all of this!

 

Everything, including the air he breathed seemed to revolve around Susamajii! Couldn't he, for one fucking moment, just have a second to himself? Couldn't he just have one goddamn moment that was just his own?

 

Teela stepped back clutching her chest as she felt the violent edges of his raw anger and power whip up against her own, warning her.

 

Perhaps she should have thought this through a little more, but time was not something that she had. Her plan had to be put into action before Susamajii got any closer to finalizing his.

 

Stepping back again, she stated quietly in hopes that he would listen, “It's about someone by the name of…of Masotako?”

 

Reinto blinked, stepped back, and stared at her, unable to believe that she had just stated that name. `Ma..so…tako… Father?' he thought as his bewilderment quickly turned to indescribable rage. Racing towards her, he pinned her against the wall harshly, his nostrils flaring angrily, his fangs bared and begging for a taste of her blood. Sinking his claws into the sides of her neck, he pressed his nose to hers and hissed, “Don't you ever sully his name by speaking it!”

 

Teela struggled against him, clawed at his hands, and silently begged him to at least let her finish. After being able to gasp a small amount of air, she forced out, “Your father… Susamajii… Sesshomaru accused Susamajii.”

 

Reinto stared down at her, un-blinking, and unable to comprehend or even try to contemplate what she was saying. Squeezing her neck tighter as his claws dug deeper into the tender flesh of her neck, he hissed coldly venomously, “You…know…nothing.”

 

Struggling fruitlessly against him, she managed a strangled, “Lord Sesshomaru, ask…Lord…Sessho…”

 

His face set in a deep scowl, Reinto watched through rage hazed eyes as her body stiffened under his hold and her eyelids grew heavy from lack of oxygen.

 

“Listen,” the wind whispered.

 

Reinto growled deeply and tightened his hold on her even more. He wanted her dead! He wanted…He needed to prove to himself that he still had some sort of control over his life…his fate! He…He could do this because `he' wanted to! He should do this because she…she was a lying, manipulative bitch!

 

Staring at her as her head fell lifelessly forward against his forearm, he pulled back, shocked…frightened as the faces of the women he'd killed molded into hers. He stepped back releasing her as the face of his long dead mother looked slowly up at him, her eyes filled with love.

 

“No…no, this…this can't be,” he stuttered as he stared down at her in disbelief.

 

“Listen,” the wind whispered once more as it danced playfully around him.

 

Reinto blinked a few times, looked away, and then back down at the body and just like that; he was staring down at an unconscious Teela.

 

Simonkal of Inuy

 

Kagome groaned slightly as she made her way slowly up the stairs to her and Inuyasha's room.

 

She had spent the majority of the day filling in for Rin, who was missing in action for unknown reasons. She had done the cooking, took care of Kanomaru's dirty clothes, or rather hakamas, since the little boy dreaded any form of a haori. She also took charge of directing the people that the lady of the manor had hired to set up for Kano's birthday celebration, and she'd taken care of all of the dusting.

 

`How in the heck does Rin do all of this on a daily basis?' she thought as she slid the door to her room open and stepped inside.

 

Stopping, a soft smile on her face, the Miko stared down at her mate, who lay sprawled across the floor in front of the opened balcony doors with his shirtless nephew lying on his own bare chest. The little boy had his tiny fists buried in the roots of Inuyasha's silver mane and was clearly fast a sleep, as was her mate and husband.

 

Staring at the two of them, Kagome couldn't help but to smile. She hadn't a clue as to exactly how Inuyasha came to have the boy in his care, and honestly it didn't matter, not really anyway.

 

Sure, she had planned on retiring to their room in hopes of getting a little cuddle time with him, or maybe a nice soothing massage, but this was just as well, wasn't it?

 

`I guess I'll have to get used to sharing him sometimes, especially if we'll be having children soon,' she thought as she rounded the bed and stepped closer to the two sleeping half demons.

 

Pulling the light blanket off the bed, she gently laid it over the two of them, and then stepped back and sat down with a soft sigh.

 

`One day it won't be our nephew interrupting our private time, Inuyasha, it will be our son or maybe even our very own daughter,' she thought as she sat back slightly and ran her hand absently over her flat abdomen.

 

`One day it won't be empty. One day…One day there will be a life…a life that you and I created, in here, love.'

 

Looking over at the two unconscious demons once more, a soft nurturing smile on her face, Kagome couldn't stop herself from sighing once more.

 

It seemed that as of lately that's all she did. Every time she thought about she and Inuyasha's conversation… Every time she replayed his words of admittal in her mind…

 

Just the thought…the knowledge that she would one day have what Sango and Rin had was definitely enough to put an extra spark in her eyes, a little more pep in her step, and a brighter smile upon her face.

 

`I was so quick to judge and doubt you… I should have known better… I…I should've just trusted my heart. It has always known you best,' she thought thinking back to when she was more than sure, he wanted nothing to do with kids...pups…babies.

 

Inuyasha's movement drew her out of her private thoughts. She watched him roll onto his side, his large clawed hand protectively clutching Kano to him so that the little boy wouldn't roll away.

 

“He's going to make an excellent father,” she murmured quietly.

 

“And you're going to make an excellent mother,” a voice stated softly from somewhere near the door.

 

Glancing over her shoulder, Kagome smiled, a light blush staining her cheeks. “Miroku-sama, I didn't hear you come in.”

 

“I knocked, but no one responded, so I thought I'd take a chance, hoping you two `wouldn't' be locked in the throes of passion,” he replied with a mischievous smirk and a lecherous wink of his eye.

 

Noticing that he was holding a sleeping Joudama, Kagome stood to her feet and inquired softly, as not to awaken the already two sleeping parties of her room, “As you can see, there will be none of that. What did you need?”

 

The Houshi blushed lightly and replied, “Well, I need to have a serious talk with my wife and I was wondering if you would be so kind as to keep an eye on my little one for me?”

 

“Of course,” Kagome stated as she walked up to him and took the sleeping child from him. “Is Sango okay with this? I know she can be rather protective when it comes to Damy.”

 

“Tonight, my sweet wife doesn't have a say so in where Damy stays.”

 

“Is that so?” Kagome queried skeptically while rubbing gently on the little girls back. “You didn't do something to Sango, did you?” she finished jokingly as she turned and walked back towards the bed to lay the little girl down.

 

Smiling at her, the Houshi avowed as he turned towards the door, “I assure you I did nothing of the sort.”

 

Sure that she really didn't want to know anymore than absolutely necessary, Kagome replied, “Let Sango know that Joudama will be in excellent hands, so she has nothing to worry about.”

 

“Thank you, Lady Kagome, perhaps one day I'll be able to return the favor,” Miroku stated as he stepped out the door.

 

Pulling the covers up around the little girl's shoulders, Kagome didn't reply, but she did smile at him as she watched him slide the door closed once more.

 

Walking around to the other side of the bed that was closer to Inuyasha and Kano, Kagome began to slowly disrobe leaving only her inner kimono on.

 

Bending down next to her mate, she placed a soft gentle kiss to his cheek, and then one to Kanomaru's temple. `Sleep tight.'

 

As she crawled into bed, the Miko pulled Joudama closer to her so that they were cuddling similar to the way Inuyasha and Kano were. As sleep claimed what was left of her tired mind, she smiled softly, her last thought, `One day Inuyasha, we won't be babysitting, we'll have a family of our own.'

 

Simonkal of Inuy

 

How much time had passed since her world had begun to crumble?

 

She didn't know.

 

How long had she been standing here staring out this window?

 

She didn't know.

 

How long had it been since the sun descended into nothingness?

 

She didn't know.

 

How long had it been since she'd eaten or spoken to anyone with the exception of her child?

 

It could've been minutes, hours, maybe even days, she wasn't quite sure.

 

Rin closed her eyes and sighed softly as a gentle breeze wrapped around her, tousling her already mussed hair and pushing back her loosely closed bathrobe.

 

She didn't want to think about things that she honestly felt she couldn't do a thing about. She didn't want to think about her earlier conversation with a person she wanted to hate, but couldn't, though she did hate the words the spewed from her mouth.

 

“Someone of Sesshomaru's stature would never choose a human as his true mate. You do know this? He can and he will choose his true equal…”

 

She heard the words echoing in her head as if it was for the first time. Only this time, she didn't feel hate towards the woman, she didn't feel anger towards her, or even a deep desire to gauge out her eyes and rip her tongue from her throat. What she did feel was…resignation.

 

Perhaps, she'd known all along that she and he were not meant to be. Perhaps, he'd known as well and was simply humoring her by giving her what little happiness, he could.

 

`Would he have asked me to be with him had I not posed the question first? If I hadn't become pregnant with our son…would he have…' she couldn't finish that thought, because in all honesty, in her mind, it no longer mattered.

 

`Why would he have bonded himself to me if he knew he would one day choose another?' she queried silently. Rin then smiled to herself as she answered her own question, `Sesshomaru-sama is an honorable man above all else, that's why.'

 

Rin sighed lightly again, her fingers interlaced in front of her as she stared out at the ocean.

 

Watching the white surf ride the top of the waves, she saw images of him, the youkai that had stolen her very heart from her and was now destined to break it. She watched as he walked; his back strong, his head held high, and his eyes…his mesmerizing eyes demanding the respect he deserved.

 

Though her heart refused to admit it, she knew that he deserved more. He…Sesshomaru, Lord of the West, deserved to have someone standing by his side that was nothing, if not regal, beautiful, strong, fierce and refined.

 

`Who am I to stand in his way? Who am I to force him to lower his standards? Who am I… I am but a child compared to him. I…I am but a weak pathetic human in love with a God. I…I cling to his coattail, desperate for what little affection…attention he will give me. I…I…I am the woman that would lay down and die for him, should he ask and yet…and yet I know now that, that is not enough.' A tear threatened to fall, but she quickly blinked it away as her thought finished, `I am nothing and everything he doesn't need.'

 

“You are his mate,” as small voice whispered to her, but she blocked it out. That no longer mattered, did it?

 

How was it possible that she was so ready to believe what the golden-haired youkai stated? How could she just accept the things she said to be the gospel, when she had yet to speak to anyone about it?

 

`In my heart, I've always known,' she whispered as if she'd just been asked a question. `Teela…Teela just told me the truth when no one else would. When I, myself fought tooth and nail to deny it. I...I cannot hate nor fault her for that.'

 

Turning slowly away from the open balcony doors, Rin allowed her eyes to trail slowly over that of her lover…her best friend…her husband…the man…the only man that could ever break her.

 

Had it been hours or minutes since they made love?

 

She didn't know.

 

Had he felt her heart weeping as her body was driven repeatedly into ecstasy?

 

She didn't know.

 

Had he felt the way the pieces of her soul fell to the wayside each time he pushed into her only to pull away again?

 

She didn't know.

 

Stepping closer towards his sleeping form, she watched through heavily lidded eyes as his chest rose and fell, hypnotizing her. She watched, trying desperately to imprint the way his nostrils flared ever so slightly when he exhaled.

 

She wanted to remember this… She wanted to ingrain every memory, every part of him, every recollection of his touch in her mind, so that in the afterlife she'd still have just a part of him with her.

 

When had she made this decision?

 

She didn't know.

 

When had she decided that to fight for her man…the only man she would ever love would be futile?

 

She didn't know.

 

When had she decided that it would be for the best if she stepped aside and allowed him to be the youkai lord he was when she first laid eyes on him?

 

Again, she didn't know.

 

What she did know was that she loved him and she would and could never love another in the manner in which she loved him. She also knew that no matter how strong that love was, she could never share him with another. So if she could not have him as she had had him over the past years then she would not continue to live this lie…this fairytale that was not hers to live.

 

When had her mind and body resigned themselves to the fact that perhaps there was truth in the words that Teela spoke?

 

She wasn't quite sure, but it happened somewhere between her meeting with the Inu Youkai, Reinto, in the hall and the interruption of her son, Kanomaru.

 

`My sweet…sweet boy, the one true love of my life, what will I do without you? Will you…will you one day forget me too?'

 

A small voice whispered, “You're making hasty decisions.”

 

She quieted it.

 

It whispered, “He's your mate, speak with him.”

 

She shunned it…forced it away.

 

When he'd walked into the room earlier that day after leaving their son with Inuyasha, she wanted to run to him and weep. She wanted to fall to her knees and beg him to explain to her why these youkai's were really here. She wanted to grab him and demand that he tell her that Teela was a liar and a whore, but she knew…she knew that if she had spoken one word of what she'd heard, he would've have looked at her as if she'd lost her mind, instead of giving her a verbal response.

 

She knew that if it was true, which she was more than sure at this point that it was, that she would be robbing herself of the precious time that she had left with him.

 

So instead of asking any questions… Instead of telling him what had been said to her, she, the meek woman she was, seduced him in a manner befitting a harlot...a whore…a jezebel.

 

At the time she wanted…desperately needed to feel his caresses against her skin. She ached to feel him swell inside her and for a moment that stretched for what felt like hours, she forgot her problems, lost within everything that was him…that was Sesshomaru…that was her Lord…her love.

 

Sitting down gently on the edge of the bed that he laid on, she gently reached up and ran the tips of her fingers along his youkai stripes.

 

`If I were a demon…'

 

Moving up to his elegantly pointed ears, Rin traced it from edge to edge and back again.

 

`…I wouldn't be loosing you, would I?'

 

Running that same fingertip along the line of his well-defined and dignified nose, Rin sighed softly as not to rouse her sleeping lover.

 

`You would have had a full-blooded heir my love, which you deserve. You…you wouldn't have to settle.'

 

Lost in her own thoughts, the emotionally broken woman and mother forgot that she was dealing with an Inu youkai that could hear for miles, and didn't need sleep.

 

Leaning in to place a gentle sweet kiss to his lips, she gasped as his hands swiftly came up and grasped both sides of her face.

 

Sesshomaru stared at her, his eyes narrowed skeptical, but he didn't speak. Not a word. He just stared at her as if he was trying to see into her very soul.

 

Rin tried to pull back but found it futile rather quickly. Her eyes locked with his and her heart broke just a little more. She searched his eyes for answers that she knew were not there. She tried to tell him things with her eyes that she knew couldn't and wouldn't be conveyed and still she tried.

 

`Please understand, my love. Please,' she silently begged as tears she wanted to hide, but couldn't formed in her eyes.

 

Sesshomaru's eyes' softened, his breathing slowed, and his frown deepened. Tilting his head slightly to the side, he continued to stare at her as he allowed one of his long clawed fingers to trail slowly, tenderly beneath her lower eyelid, brushing away a solitary tear.

 

Sparing one more moment to gaze up at her, he pulled her down to his chest and held her tightly as he spoke softly, his voice gentle yet stern and laced with concern, “My mate, you are broken. Tell this Sesshomaru why. Tell him how he can fix it.”

 

Until Next Time…(Your .02 cents are greatly appreciated)