InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Consolation Prize ❯ Anger Thy Name is Kagome ( Chapter 7 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: inkymuse 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Supernatural / Romance / Fantasy / Drama / Comedy / Angst | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 07.04.2011 | Updated On: 07.04.2011 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.4K | Visits: 484 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Supernatural / Romance / Fantasy / Drama / Comedy / Angst | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 07.04.2011 | Updated On: 07.04.2011 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.4K | Visits: 484 | Status: Completed
Standard Disclaimer: RT did the dirty, I jez like ta watch.
Chapter Seven - Anger thy name is Kagome
She trembled as he held her close. His arms tightening around the small body. His own heart burned threatening to choke and overwhelm him as he sat pulling her back against his chest.
"Are you hungry?" his voice was raw.
She didn't respond. So he held her. He just simply held her as the fire slowly died and the sun made it's slow arch downward into evening. He didn't move, didn't relinquish his hold until she squirmed on his lap.
"I need…" he dipped his head to catch her words and she blushed.
He smiled, "..a bush?"
She nodded and he stood to reluctantly let her out of his arms. His ears twitched as he listened to her until she stopped just a short way from camp, then he moved to gather wood for a fire to allow her privacy.
By the time she returned to camp, Inuyasha had a small fire blazing and a stash of branches for the coming evening. It wasn't the fire that caught her attention, or the stack of firewood, it was her backpack.
She stopped just outside the firelight and stared at the bulging pack, "you planned this."
He looked up and met her angry gaze, "yes."
"Who helped you."
"It doesn't ma.."
"Yes, I believe it does" she snapped.
He shrugged, "Miroku."
"What" she sneered eyes blinking against tears, "is this some kind of man thing?"
He looked at her in confusion.
"Does Sango know?"
He studied her, "I guess she does, now"
"Right" she grabbed her bag and pulled out a pair sweats then stomped off into the tree line. He added another branch to the fire and waited for her to return.
It was only a few minutes before she did. Dressed warmly she stuffed her used clothing into a front pouch for washing later before grabbing a couple of granola bars and handing one to the half demon.
He looked at the foil covered pouch and gave it back to her, then turned and laid the fish close to the fire.
He prodded the meat, "you know we're not leaving till we talk."
She bit down viciously on her bar, "You can't keep me here."
He picked at the fish flesh, "Kagome, you're not a consolation prize." he turned and caught her glare.
She threw the uneaten half of her granola bar into the fire as anger broke the barrier within her and rushed past the destroyed flood gates, "Okay you want to talk then, Inuyasha, so what would you call it?"
He purposefully didn't answer concentrating instead on choking down the lukewarm fish.
She waited and watched him her anger spiraling upward at his silence. Huffing her body swelling with the need to scream she grabbed her backpack, flipped open the lid and began rummaging for water and her pot in her bag.
"You ran to Kikyo every chance you got. Don't forget I was there when you told her" she slammed the now found pot on a rock near the fire "that you never forgot her for a second, and you held her and kissed her." she grabbed the water bottle and unscrewed the top.
"What would you call it?" the pot hissed as the water hit the heated bottom.
Anger filled silence was heavy around them as the pot hissed, and Kagome sat back fingers clenched. Inuyasha, head bowed continued to try and eat, his stomach roiling, his throat closed off with the presence of his heart.
"Do you know what it was like?" the silence was split by Kagome's whisper as she watched the pot.
"Watching you run after her time after time?" she grabbed the tea from her bag, "knowing that in everything to you, she came first." she spared him a glance before dropping teabags into two cups "to be confused because you didn't want me for yourself but you didn't want anyone else to have me? Kami!" she snarled "I saved her for you time after time" she poured boiling water into the mugs and banged the pot back onto the stone. "I was an idiot!"
She sat back drawing her knees up and wrapping her arms around the tops, "..and all you could say" she glared at him, tears swimming in her eyes, "is that she died for you and you owed her."
"Well hell," she caught and held his eyes, "so where in all that did I come in?" The anger leaked out of her in waves, "I'll tell you where" she sighed, "nowhere."
She brushed the arm of her sweats against her eyes, "nothing I did mattered" she muttered quietly, "nothing."
He ached as he watched her but said nothing.
She turned and looked at him, "she always came first, Inuyasha. She did and she still does. You always left me alone to run after her."
He dropped his eyes as he remembered the times he had left her and she had been taken.
"You still want to be with her that's why you didn't answer me in the flower village."
She shook her head and braced against the gnawing pain in her chest, "what are we doing here?" she waved her hand around "what is it you hope to accomplish? Just what the fuck do you want from me now?"
He winced at the obscenity but remained silent.
"I can't be Kikyo, Inuyasha, and I won't be a second choice. I love you" she stood and looked down at the half-demon her tea forgotten "heaven knows I love you, but I can't be something I'm not and I respect myself too much to have less than I deserve."
"I made you a promise" she rubbed her wet palms against her legs "and I'll keep it, I won't leave you but I deserve love and happiness too, Inuyasha. I deserve a man who loves me, just me…"
He looked up at her his eyes filled with pain but he remained silent.
"…not some dream," she whispered.
She bit her bottom lip to keep the tears at bay her anger spent, "You'll never know how many nights I waited for you to want me, how much I wished for the day you would choose me. How many nights I longed for the time we could be together when I came first with you, when I mattered." her voice broke, "I dreamed too."
His heart burned at the words her tears but he remained silent.
She choked on her next words, "we both know that dreams don't come true though."
"Don't we?" she waited in the silence.
Waited, but there was nothing.
Pulling out her sleeping bag she spread it near the fire and crawled in, turning her back to him and the light she closed her eyes and tried to will herself to sleep.
Behind her the half-demon tossed the remaining fish in the fire and banked it against the coming night.
Outwardly he was stoic, while inwardly, in the silent recesses he choked back unrelenting pain, his heart and soul teetering on the brink of a black snarling abyss.
Xx
x
Chapter Seven - Anger thy name is Kagome
She trembled as he held her close. His arms tightening around the small body. His own heart burned threatening to choke and overwhelm him as he sat pulling her back against his chest.
"Are you hungry?" his voice was raw.
She didn't respond. So he held her. He just simply held her as the fire slowly died and the sun made it's slow arch downward into evening. He didn't move, didn't relinquish his hold until she squirmed on his lap.
"I need…" he dipped his head to catch her words and she blushed.
He smiled, "..a bush?"
She nodded and he stood to reluctantly let her out of his arms. His ears twitched as he listened to her until she stopped just a short way from camp, then he moved to gather wood for a fire to allow her privacy.
By the time she returned to camp, Inuyasha had a small fire blazing and a stash of branches for the coming evening. It wasn't the fire that caught her attention, or the stack of firewood, it was her backpack.
She stopped just outside the firelight and stared at the bulging pack, "you planned this."
He looked up and met her angry gaze, "yes."
"Who helped you."
"It doesn't ma.."
"Yes, I believe it does" she snapped.
He shrugged, "Miroku."
"What" she sneered eyes blinking against tears, "is this some kind of man thing?"
He looked at her in confusion.
"Does Sango know?"
He studied her, "I guess she does, now"
"Right" she grabbed her bag and pulled out a pair sweats then stomped off into the tree line. He added another branch to the fire and waited for her to return.
It was only a few minutes before she did. Dressed warmly she stuffed her used clothing into a front pouch for washing later before grabbing a couple of granola bars and handing one to the half demon.
He looked at the foil covered pouch and gave it back to her, then turned and laid the fish close to the fire.
He prodded the meat, "you know we're not leaving till we talk."
She bit down viciously on her bar, "You can't keep me here."
He picked at the fish flesh, "Kagome, you're not a consolation prize." he turned and caught her glare.
She threw the uneaten half of her granola bar into the fire as anger broke the barrier within her and rushed past the destroyed flood gates, "Okay you want to talk then, Inuyasha, so what would you call it?"
He purposefully didn't answer concentrating instead on choking down the lukewarm fish.
She waited and watched him her anger spiraling upward at his silence. Huffing her body swelling with the need to scream she grabbed her backpack, flipped open the lid and began rummaging for water and her pot in her bag.
"You ran to Kikyo every chance you got. Don't forget I was there when you told her" she slammed the now found pot on a rock near the fire "that you never forgot her for a second, and you held her and kissed her." she grabbed the water bottle and unscrewed the top.
"What would you call it?" the pot hissed as the water hit the heated bottom.
Anger filled silence was heavy around them as the pot hissed, and Kagome sat back fingers clenched. Inuyasha, head bowed continued to try and eat, his stomach roiling, his throat closed off with the presence of his heart.
"Do you know what it was like?" the silence was split by Kagome's whisper as she watched the pot.
"Watching you run after her time after time?" she grabbed the tea from her bag, "knowing that in everything to you, she came first." she spared him a glance before dropping teabags into two cups "to be confused because you didn't want me for yourself but you didn't want anyone else to have me? Kami!" she snarled "I saved her for you time after time" she poured boiling water into the mugs and banged the pot back onto the stone. "I was an idiot!"
She sat back drawing her knees up and wrapping her arms around the tops, "..and all you could say" she glared at him, tears swimming in her eyes, "is that she died for you and you owed her."
"Well hell," she caught and held his eyes, "so where in all that did I come in?" The anger leaked out of her in waves, "I'll tell you where" she sighed, "nowhere."
She brushed the arm of her sweats against her eyes, "nothing I did mattered" she muttered quietly, "nothing."
He ached as he watched her but said nothing.
She turned and looked at him, "she always came first, Inuyasha. She did and she still does. You always left me alone to run after her."
He dropped his eyes as he remembered the times he had left her and she had been taken.
"You still want to be with her that's why you didn't answer me in the flower village."
She shook her head and braced against the gnawing pain in her chest, "what are we doing here?" she waved her hand around "what is it you hope to accomplish? Just what the fuck do you want from me now?"
He winced at the obscenity but remained silent.
"I can't be Kikyo, Inuyasha, and I won't be a second choice. I love you" she stood and looked down at the half-demon her tea forgotten "heaven knows I love you, but I can't be something I'm not and I respect myself too much to have less than I deserve."
"I made you a promise" she rubbed her wet palms against her legs "and I'll keep it, I won't leave you but I deserve love and happiness too, Inuyasha. I deserve a man who loves me, just me…"
He looked up at her his eyes filled with pain but he remained silent.
"…not some dream," she whispered.
She bit her bottom lip to keep the tears at bay her anger spent, "You'll never know how many nights I waited for you to want me, how much I wished for the day you would choose me. How many nights I longed for the time we could be together when I came first with you, when I mattered." her voice broke, "I dreamed too."
His heart burned at the words her tears but he remained silent.
She choked on her next words, "we both know that dreams don't come true though."
"Don't we?" she waited in the silence.
Waited, but there was nothing.
Pulling out her sleeping bag she spread it near the fire and crawled in, turning her back to him and the light she closed her eyes and tried to will herself to sleep.
Behind her the half-demon tossed the remaining fish in the fire and banked it against the coming night.
Outwardly he was stoic, while inwardly, in the silent recesses he choked back unrelenting pain, his heart and soul teetering on the brink of a black snarling abyss.
Xx
x