InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Contest Two ❯ Like A Sorrow Or A Tune ( Chapter 14 )

Story Title: Like a Sorrow or a Tune

Author: Embyrr

Disclaimer: I own nothing; not Inuyasha, not Miroku, not Kouga, not either of the two songs featured here. Except that I do own this laptop. It was a birthday/Christmas present for the next five years from a really cool family friend. It's running windows '95 and is really slow, but it's saving my hide because it's 2:37 am and I'm at my cousin's.

Story Summary: We all have in our hearts and minds great fears. It is sometimes through dreams that we discover a terror that we never thought we held.

Rating: PG

Miroku had discovered the formula that kept life in the group almost unbearable these days: Inuyasha is to idiot as Kagome is to perfect: synonymous. The hanyou was dumber than dirt; Kagome had decided to let up on Inuyasha and try to talk things out instead of yelling at him. Inuyasha had decided to repay her kindness by running off to Kikyo; apparently he preferred arguments and sittings to actual discussions of things that made him uncomfortable, though if presented with this argument he'd probably deny it.

The group was tense now; without their strongest fighter around they would probably be the targets of an attack from Naraku. Unfortunately, none of them particularly wanted the idiot back.

"Kagome, do you think Inuyasha will ever come to his senses and give up Kikyo for you?" Miroku looked up at Shippo's question, wanting to see Kagome's answer.

Kagome smiled sadly. "Shippo-chan, do you think I will ever come to my senses and give up Inuyasha for Kouga? After all, he's in the same situation with me as I am with Inuyasha."

Miroku looked back down at his dinner, tuning out the ensuing conversation for the moment. Kagome would be the one to draw that parallel; how could she be so forgiving, taking the blame for so many things? Also, something had changed lately. Though Miroku couldn't quite put his finger on it, Kagome didn't seem as upset about Inuyasha's behavior as she should have been.

"…not like he can just forget about her, he feels he has a duty, we have to respect that and let him do what he thinks is right." No, that didn't sound like Kagome at all. Not when Inuyasha had just run off to Kikyo.

"But Kagome-chan, he shouldn't have to hurt to you to help her." Sango pointed out.

"No, he shouldn't, but Shippo-chan shouldn't be mean to him; we all have shortcomings." Kagome had a valid point, but why would she start bringing these things up now? There had been plenty of opportunities before today. Miroku closed his eyes and tried to think of when all this had started, but Shippo jumping onto his head was something of a distraction. He opened his eyes to find the kitsune's face mere inches from his own.

"Miroku, are you sick? 'Cause if you aren't gonna want the rest of your food then I do."

"Shippo-chan!" Kagome's voice held a reprimanding tone that caused Shippo to scuttle away from them.

"No Shippo, I am not sick. I just haven't been sleeping well in the last few days." This was true, Miroku had been plagued by a reoccurring nightmare, and once he awoke it was useless to try to get to sleep again.

*&*&*&*&*&*

Camp settled down for the night. The moon was in its last days before disappearing. Miroku saw Kagome looking up at the little sliver and sighed. "I am certain that Inuyasha is safe, Kagome-sama. Even he would not be so foolish as to allow himself to be seen in his human form."

"Unfortunately, he probably would. You know that Kikyo wants him human, I just wish that he had enough common sense to realize that she's not the same person that she was." Kagome looked down at her hands, neatly folded in her lap. "I worry about him sometimes, he's had such problems all of his life. I guess I want him to be able to be happy."

Kirara pushed her forepaws against Miroku's leg, nuzzling at his hand and purring contentedly when he scratched behind her ears. "Kagome-sama, if it didn't involve hundreds, possibly thousands of people being miserable, you'd want Naraku to be happy as well."

Kagome just laughed.

*&*&*&*&*&*

Miroku walks quietly down the halls, bare feet hardly making a sound as he searches for the right door. His little seven-year-old hands catching the frame of the shoji once he finds the correct room. "Mom? Mom? Are you still asleep?"

She lies there on her futon, beautiful and peaceful as always, but her face is too pale and she isn't breathing. "Mommy?"

He touches her face and it is like ice, "Mommy!" He shakes her shoulder, trying desperately to wake her, hoping that it's some sort of joke, or a dream. "Mommy, wake up!"

He grabs her, holding her close, rocking back and forth and crying.

But suddenly it isn't his mother he's holding, and he isn't a child anymore.

"Kagome! Kagome, please! You have to be all right!" There's blood everywhere, Kagome's blood. He's holding a bleeding, dying Kagome in his arms. She looks up at him, eyes dimming as death starts to lay its claim, and smiles. That's it; she smiles at him and then dies in his arms.

*&*&*&*&*&*

Miroku started awake, heart pounding, terrified. That same nightmare again, what on Earth could it mean? What kind of parallel between his mother's death and Kagome dying had his mind come up with to conjure that dream so many nights in a row?

Feeling unsettled as he had every night after the dream, Miroku stood and walked over to where Kagome was sleeping. A wave of relief swept over him as he saw the steady rise and fall of her chest.

She really was beautiful, some otherworldly creature sent down to earth. She couldn't blend in though, her kind smile, her bright laugh, her gentle, caring nature; they all gave her away.

Miroku started to make his way back to where he had been sleeping, still unsettled, to wait for morning. He wanted nothing more than to take Kagome in his arms and hold her for a while, but if she were to wake up - no, he couldn't do that. Not only would Kagome kill him, Sango would kill him too, and then when Inuyasha got back, he'd be killed again. And besides all that, he couldn't allow himself to go throwing unwanted attention at her. In any event, she loved Inuyasha, so it didn't particularly matter how he felt.

"No…"

Miroku turned, looking back at Kagome, to see her shift agitatedly inside her sleeping sack.

"Inuyasha, no…"

Miroku's heart sank; did the hanyou leave her even in her dreams?

"Stop, please…"

He moved back over next to her, laying a soothing hand on her shoulder to try to quiet her.

"No, stop, please!"

She was crying in her sleep, eyes squinched shut and tears streaming down her face.

"Don't listen to them! They're wrong!"

Miroku shook her shoulder, trying to wake her.

"You're the most important one! The most important!"

"Kagome, you're dreaming, wake up." Miroku shook her shoulder more firmly, relived when her eyes snapped open.

"M-Miroku!" With a strangled sob, Kagome threw herself into his arms, obviously still half caught up in her nightmare.

"They're wrong!"

Miroku wrapped a comforting arm around her waist. "Of course they are."

"Don't listen to them!"

"I won't."

"I hate them!"

Hate was not a word Kagome used lightly, and Miroku decided it was time to find out what was going on in her sleep-muddled mind. "Why, Kagome? Why do you hate them?"

Kagome hugged him tighter but didn't speak.

"Kagome, what did you dream about? Who do you hate?"

Kagome sniffled and tried to burrow into him. "Y-your Kazaana was gonna swallow you up and they didn't care."

Miroku blinked - she had dreamt about him?

"Y-you said the only thing you can do is cut off your hand and they said that you're useless to start with and even more useless without your hand." She hugged him even closer and started crying again.

"What happened then Kagome?" He asked gently, rubbing his hand soothingly up and down her back.

"You cut off your hand and they said that you're stupid and you said they're right. You kept cutting yourself open, you were just cutting yourself and cutting yourself and there was blood everywhere and I couldn't make you stop. You said you aren't important."

"Kagome, who are 'they'?" Miroku asked, running a hand through her hair, trying to calm her down.

"Inuyasha and Sango and Shippo and everybody."

Miroku sighed and rested his cheek against the top of her head; he needed this contact after his own dream, and was quite sure that Kagome wanted to be held too. He was quiet until she calmed down, occasionally rocking her or rubbing her back, anything to help ease her worries, never mind that it made him feel better too.

"I'm so stupid." Kagome said quietly. "It was just a dream and here I am, bawling my eyes out. I'm such a baby."

"You are not stupid, nor are you a baby. I know very well how disturbing a dream can be." Miroku said calmly, evenly, trying not to let thoughts of his own nightmare resurface.

There was a long moment of silence; Miroku was deep in thought, so when Kagome spoke he was startled. He was even more startled when what she said registered.

"I'm glad Inuyasha isn't here."

"What?" Miroku was stunned. Had he heard correctly?

Kagome looked up at him, eyes puffy and red in the light from the dying fire. "If he was here, well, he wouldn't hug me, and he wouldn't let you touch me. He would think I'm a stupid baby, he always yells at me for stuff like that. I hate the way he makes me feel, I just hate it. I wish he'd let me be his friend, but I guess that's a bit much to ask."

Miroku just stared down at her; this wasn't the Kagome he knew. When had this change occurred and how had he missed it? "Kagome, correct me if I'm wrong, but I was under the impression that you wanted Inuyasha to be, well…"

"…more than just a friend?" Kagome sighed and smiled sadly, "I did for a long time, it's only just recently that I've realized that it's never going to work. He'll always compare me to Kikyo and I'll always feel inferior. That's not something that you can build a relationship on."

A chill breeze swept through the camp, making Kagome shiver. Miroku shifted a little, moving them so that his back was resting up against a tree trunk. Kagome, sensing his intention, shifted and grabbed her sleeping bag, pulling it over the two of them.

After a few minutes of starlit silence, Miroku voiced a question that had been nagging at him since Kagome had calmed down. "What did you mean 'you're the most important one'?"

Kagome looked up at him from her comfortable position cradled against his chest. "When did I say that?"

"While you were caught in that dream, you were talking in your sleep." Miroku watched her face carefully, gauging her reaction. "In that dream you were trying to convince me that I was important, but what did you mean by 'the most important'? Why not just 'you are important'?"

Kagome looked away from him, for some reason darting a guilty look toward Sango, asleep on the other side of the fire, before opting to stare at the bark of the tree, just over Miroku's left shoulder. "Do you really think," she asked quietly, "that I could break off the dream of Inuyasha and me if I hadn't started to develop feelings for someone else?"

They were quiet again for a spell, but oddly, the silence wasn't strained or oppressive, nor was it tense and waiting for Miroku to answer. It was the kind of stillness one hummed during, not out of boredom or impatience, it was just the sort of lull that begged a soft tune. Miroku hadn't even realized that he was humming until Kagome spoke.

"What's that song?"

"Hm?" Miroku had to pause a moment to figure out what she was talking about. "Oh, that's a song my father would sing to me whenever I had trouble sleeping."

"My dad would sing to me too, before he died, always the same song every night. It was our little ritual." Kagome paused a moment and then began to sing, her voice bright and enchanting as a sunrise.

Lida-Rose, I'm home again Rose

To put the sun back in the sky,

Lida-Rose, I'm home again Rose

About a thousand kisses shy.

Ding-dong-ding,

I can hear the chapel bells chime,

Ding-dong-ding,

At the first suggestion, I'll pop the question.

Lida-Rose, I'm home again Rose

Without a sweetheart to my name,

Lida-Rose now everyone knows

That I'll be hoping you're the same.

So this is my love song,

Not fancy or fine.

Lida-Rose, oh won't you be mine,

Lida-Rose, I'm home again Rose,

Lida-Rose, I'm home again Rose,

Lida-Rose.

Miroku sat, eyes closed, savoring the last note of the song as one would savor a mouthful of dark, freshly baked bread spread with honey. When he finally opened his eyes he saw that Kagome was looking up at him with an uncertain _expression. "That," Miroku said, intent upon dispelling any misunderstandings. "was without a doubt, the most beautiful sound which I have ever had the pleasure of hearing." Kagome beamed.

"Let's hear your song now," she said quietly.

Miroku shook his head. "I assure you, Kagome-sama, my voice will sound dull and out of tune when compared with yours."

"Don't," Kagome said, her smile lessening a little. "Miroku, you've been calling me by just my name all night, don't stop now."

Miroku blinked, she'd noticed and not called him on it? Come to think about it, he realized that his name hadn't been followed by an honorific this evening either. "All right, Kagome."

"Aren't you going to sing?" Kagome asked, grinning up at him impishly.

"Well, if you insist."

"I insist."

Miroku paused for a moment, obviously finding pitch and tempo before he began. Kagome's eyes widened as the first phrase of the tune washed over her. His voice was a deep bass, low and mournful, but he brushed over the sad notes of the haunting tune, landing upon each as lightly as a song sparrow perching itself on a branch of sakura blossoms.

The night will never stay,

The night will still go by,

Though with a million stars

You pin it to the sky.

Though you bind it with the blowing wind,

And you buckle it with the moon,

The night will slip away,

Like a sorrow or a tune.

The night will never stay,

The night will still go by,

Though with a million stars

You pin it to the sky.

Though the moon floats like a silver dream,

So lovely it calls to me,

The night will sail away,

Like a ship out on the sea.

The night will never stay,

The night will still go by,

Though with a million stars

You pin it to the sky.

Though the dawn is like a golden rain,

With the rising of the sun,

The daylight too will fade

And the night once more will come.

The night will never stay,

And the day will never last.

Kagome let out the breath she had been holding as the song ended. Tears, inspired by the bittersweet tune and words, shone in her eyes. "That was wonderful. It-it sounded like the way you look sometimes, so lonely and honest, seeing the way things will never stay the same."

She hugged him close, burying her face in his chest and inhaling deeply. He smelled of the old cloth of his robes and of the pine logs he had collected for firewood. He smelled of musty old scrolls and sandalwood and incense and tealeaves. He also smelled ever so slightly of damp leaves and peppermint. It was a pleasant, safe, sedating scent, and Kagome soon found herself lost and drowsing in it.

"You smell nice," Kagome heard herself mumbling. "Like comfortable things and peppermint."

Miroku chuckled and Kagome turned her head so that one ear was pressing against his chest. She could feel the vibrations of his laugh against her cheek, hear his heart's steady "lub-a-dub, lub-a-dub, lub-a-dub" and found that in the cocoon of Miroku's arms, she was even safer than she had thought before.

Miroku felt the girl in his arms drifting off, and was suddenly struck by a very strong urge to do something both extremely reckless and very stupid. But, inebriated as he was by Kagome, it seemed like a good idea. Miroku shifted them, tilting Kagome's face up to look at him. He took in her sleepy eyes and mussed up hair for a moment, thinking how absolutely adorable she was, then lowered his mouth to hers. It was a chaste kiss, platonic, even, but the feeling that he got from it was like drinking a mug of cocoa on a January evening after having just been out in the snow - the kind of comforting, muzzy warmth that droops a person's eyelids and promises pleasant dreams.

~fin~