InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Conversations Concerning...'That' ❯ Really Really The Ending ( Chapter 9 )

Tsuki: chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate!

Akina: sleeps

Tsuki: dances places Ultra-Pony in front of Akina's head

Akina: GAH! dies

Tsuki: yay! pulls out chainsaw

Akina: Oh god! runs away

Inuyasha ran for the one place in the house that he thought he could be safe—the kitchens. Living with a giant Inu-Youkai, there had to be GIANT baking pans to make things to scale. Inuyasha decided that he could hide in one of these.

Looping around behind his friends after making this decision, he grabbed the paper out of Sango's hand and kept running.

RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN—there!

Inuyasha darted into the kitchen and jumped into a pan. Unfortiunately, it was full of cheesecake.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Sesshoumaru cried, falling to his knees. “I'm gonna whoop you good, hanyou!”

(Tsuki: aw...I can't say bitch.

Akina: ack! PG13 PG13!)

“Aww...” Inuyasha said. Except his mouth was full of cheesecake mix, so it sorta came out as “BBBBBBBBBB...”

Sango and Miroku turned up in the kitchen moments later, the latter with a large red handprint on either side of his face. Sango was glaring at him, arms folded over her chest. “Idiot,” she muttered.

Little Stalker Friend trailed into the kitchen, looking rather lost. She was wearing Sesshoumaru's favorite outfit, the white one with the hexagonal flowers and the pretty decals. “Hey, I found all these neat kimonos Sango. Wanna come have a fashon show?”

Sesshoumaru let out a hellish roar, twitching violently and trying not to rip their chibi-fied little heads off. Instead, he stuck his hand into the cheesecake mix and grabbed some hanyou hair.

That was when it got bad for the little kiddles.

Inuyasha lifted the icepack off the top of his head and twitched his ears. They still stung and were rather numb from the ice, which he viewed as a bad thing. Placing the icepack back on top of his head, he looked over at Miroku.

The pervert was still trying to patch himself up, placing bandaid upon bandaid on his face. The funny part was, when you poked his side he said “Stop it!” except that he was having problems speaking with swollen cheeks, so it came out more as “Muff Miff!”

Inuyasha sighed and twitched his ears again. Well, it was only a matter of time before he killed me anyway. I should be thankful that there were five of us to kill instead of just one.

Could have done without getting pulled out of that pan by my ears though...Inuyasha's ears twitched painfully once again and he flopped back on the grass.

“Hey, why are you laying down?” Little Stalker Buddy asked curiously. The only unharmed one, she had been smart enough to jump into a container of corn still wearing Sesshoumaru's clothes. That was what had stopped the onslaught, because the teenager began to cry upon realizing that she had ruined his favorite outfit.

“Because my head hurts. Why are you asking me questions?”

“Because that's what I do. I still don't remember my name,”

“That's nice. You'll be stupid forever,”

Suddenly, adult charecters dropped out of the sky and circled the little hanyou. Tsuki was weilding a shovel, glaring menacingly at the idiot child. “Everyone loves Kagome except for you,” Akina growled, left eye twitching. “You will learn to love Kagome...”

Jeninji, Tsuki, Akina, Kouga, Ginta, Hikaku, Kagura, Kanna, Sango, Miroku, Shippou, Kirara, Naraku, Peach Man, Kikyo, Keade, Jaken, Toto-Sai, Myoga, Sesshoumaru, Rin, Hojo, Kagome's Grandpa, Souta, Kag's three High School buddies, her mom, the Noh Mask, Mistress Centipede, Yura of the Hair, and every villager known to man began to gang-beat Inuyasha. Buyo latched onto the top of his head, replacing the icebag. Little Stalker Friend just blinked and watched.

“I've got ten on the cat,” MiniMiroku told MiniSango. She shook her head.

“The kid with the shovel is pretty vicious,”

“I vote for the flea,” MiniKikyo told them. “It keeps going up his nose, it's going to choke him.”

“Hmm,” MiniMiroku said thoughtfully. “You could be right.”

“Do I have any money on the quiet kid with the mirror?” MiniSango called, waving bet tickets over her head to the spectators that had come from the nearby village. “How about the freak in the monkey suit? Any takers!”

Sesshoumaru was happy. He was grounded, which meant that not only could he not bother his brother (as if I would want to) but his brother couldn't bother him (yay!).

He was sitting in a fresh bath, after he had chucked the poo-scented mini- miko out the window. She had fallen down a cliff, which was bad for her but good for him. That was when Sess decided that he liked killing things.

With his hairnet firmly in place on top of his head and a plate of fresh cheesecake on the side of the tub, he settled back to enjoy the silence. Leisurely, he broke off a chunk of cheesecake and put it in his mouth.

Sesshoumaru didn't notice that it was a deformed piece of cheesecake. However, he thought it tasted rather papery and bland...oh crap.

Inuyasha hobbled into the house, looking like a deformed crossbreed between a cat, a pufferfish, and a taco. He was dragging himself along, trying to get to his room, when a wet naked Sesshoumaru appeared in the hallway.

“You are the insolent one. Prepare to die today,” he announced grimly, pulling Tenisgah out of thin air.

“Sess...” Inuyasha muttered, narrowing his eyes.

Sesshoumaru waved the sword. Inuyasha, fully healed, was still staring at him. “Vengence has been had,”

“Sess...did you go crazy?”

Sesshoumaru turned and walked into the wall.

“What caused it?” Kagome asked curiously, popping up behind Inuyasha.

“I'm not really sure, but I think it can be related back to swords and humans. You might have to strain to think up a connection, but I'm sure there's one there.”

Kagome narrowed her eyes. “You mean the birds and the bees? No way, baka. My mom told me all about that. If anything happened to your crazy brother, it was you. I'm tired and I smell, I'm going home. See you never, bye.”

Inuyasha wasn't paying attention to her. He was suffering a revelation, and the strain had clogged his mind. ...birds and bees? I'll have to talk to Miroku...

Tsuki: END! END END END END END! dances

Akina: finally. We managed to make our one-shot a ten-chapter long monstrosity.

Tsuki: that's because you have me, and I can make a single day last for forty chapters! Witness the amazing super-authoress powers of TSUKI!

Akina: sighs yes, we know. And now, our LAST REVIEW REPLIES! Any after this will be responded to by email if Tsuki has enough free time over the summer.

Tsuki: but I can't respond if there's no email address, sowwie.

Akina: plus, her computer is suffering some MAJOR virus. But that's okay, she loves you all enough to break into someone's house and steal their computer to reply.

Tsuki: grins, pulls out chainsaw MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Akina: but hey, don't cry because it's over! Go and find our next story...KINDERGARDEN RENEGADES! Or...the Chibi Inu gang goes to kindergarden!

Tsuki: staring Tsuki as their happy teacher and Akina as their TA! . but first, review replies!

choco-coco thanks! Hope you read the rest of our fic!

usagi kurari yay! You should feel special! Happy b-day! 1) grins 2) grins wider 3) Tsuki: you're just jealous!

Akina: Oh God, I never thought of it that way. fwacks Akina over the head

Tsuki: . silly Akina...

fuf you should. And fuf, Tsuki only has one thing to tell you...dum dum dum, another one bites the dust, dum dum dum, another one bites the dust, and another one gone and another one gone, another one bites the dust! Hey, I'm gonna getcha too, another one bites the dust.

Epilouge (for those people that actually skim the review replies, because they love us. . Tsuki is an evil authoress! .)

Inuyasha itched the top of his head after Miroku was done explaining. “So...wait, how the hell do you know all of this?”

The hanyou continued to scratch the top of his head. The look on his face went from one of annoyance to a look of sheer confusion.

“Monk,” Miroku explained, as if it were obvious. Inuyasha began to pat his head, facial expresion becoming one of panic. “Problem?” Miroku asked.

“Where the hell did all the hair on the top of my head go to!”

flashback

That was when he noticed the silver stuff that Miroku was wrapped in. “...what is this?” he asked curiously, ripping it off the pervert's face.

“OW!” Miroku screamed, smacking Inuyasha.

“...it's...sticky. What is it?” he asked, playing with the duct tape. Kikyo grabbed it out of his hands.

“Wow, you're right. I wonder...”

She slapped the duct tape down on Inuyasha's head. The hanyou began to protest, as any sane person would.

“Um...guys? I have this bad feeling like that's going to—” Little Stalker Buddy began.

“I don't know if you should be—OH! MOTHER OF GOD! DAMNIT, THAT HURTS! AAAAAAAAAWWWWWWW!” Inuyasha screamed as Kikyo ripped the ducttape off his head.

It was now a small rectangle of silver hanyou hair.

“Intriguing,” Kikyo muttered, studying the tape.

end flashback

“See, Inuyasha, while you were unconsious after Sess killed you...we sorta had a little bit of fun with that silver stuff we found.” Miroku said sheepishly.

Several tic marks popped up around Inuyaha's head as he advanced towards Miroku, bearing his claws. “You're going to pay...”

In a small hut back in the village near the well, Little Stalker Friend and Kikyo were having some fun with their miko powers. On the table was a box with Inuyasha's hair in it. Kikyo was holding the corresponding voodoo doll.

“I think it's time for Inu to do a little dance,” she said to Little Stalker Friend.

“Oh, oh, can I help? Huh? Huh?”

“This is very precise and detailed work, nothing that a dimwit like you could possibly—HEY! LEGGO OF MY HANYOU!”

Little Stalker Friend and Kikyo engaged in a tug-of-war against each other over the hanyou doll. Voodoo Inuyasha got a little bit stretched out, but that was okay for the time being.

“Whoa, you hitting puberty or something?” Miroku asked as Inuyasha got a foot taller.

“What the hell! Now I'm not a bald kid, I'm a bald GIANT!”

“Horemones, man, they do that to you,” Miroku said, sadly shaking his head.

Kikyo and Little Stalker Friend growled at each other. (Didn't expect them to get along, didja?)

That was when Kikyo let go of Voodoo Inuyasha. Little Stalker Friend fell flat on her butt and smacked her head on the table.

“I remember!” she exclaimed.

At the same time as she pumped her fists into the air she let go of Voodoo Inuyasha. He sailed over Kikyo's head and into the fireplace.

“Uh-oh,” Kikyo muttered, staring into the flames with a worried expression.

“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! BURNING? WHY! WHY IS THERE BURNING! WORSE THAN THE FLAMES OF A THOUSAND SUNS! AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

“Cool, now you're a bald giant rolling around on the ground screaming. Wait a sec while I go get a stick to poke you with,” Miroku said helpfully.

END! Buh-bye, we love you lots! Go read our new ficlet, KINDERGARDEN RENEGADES!