InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Curse of the Mikos ❯ Heart and Pain ( Chapter 1 )

Inuyasha's hand gripped Tetsuseiga lightly. His eyes were closed, and at a glance he would be taken for being in deep meditation. Only the exceptionally observant would notice the rigid lines that were mostly concealed by his clothing, marking tension and stress that often accompanied the young hanyou. From a distance, Kagome peered at Inuyasha from around a tree. She somehow knew his thoughts dwelled on Kikyou, the woman she could never compete with. Her heart twisted as she turned away from Inuyasha's sitting form. He deserved peace.

Inuyasha's eyes opened once his nose told him Kagome was gone. Indeed, his thoughts did linger on Kikyou. The dark, betraying thoughts he could not even bring himself to acknowledge. Both mikos, Kagome and Kikyou, were his responsibility. Both he cared for. Both knew sides of him that he did not even show. He lived in a time where he was the only one who feasibly belonged. Kagome belonged in the future, and Kikyou should be dead.

No! Inuyasha's fist slammed into the soft earth, giving way to the fact he was not in a calm state of meditation. Kikyou should not be dead! My failure took her life. And for that, she must be his priority. No matter what else walked his path, Kikyou had to remain his priority.

"Inuyasha."

A calm voice interrupted his plagued mind. Miroku. He was far enough away where Inuyasha was sure he hadn't witnessed anything, but his defenses were up nonetheless.

"Yeah, monk? What do you want, sneaking up on me like that!"

Inuyasha's words came out more a bark than a question. Fortunately, Miroku was more than used to Inuyasha's disposition. With the same unwavering calmness, Miroku spoke to the hanyou again.

"We must be going, if we want to make good time before nightfall. There will be time for rest later."

Miroku was right. Inuyasha acknowledged this by standing and walking back to the group silently. The break had been his fault in the first place. He sneered as he approached the group, making sure that no one would approach him. He didn't want to hear Shippou, Sango or Kagome asking if he was all right.

He swore he had seen Kikyou, and in trouble. He needed to protect her. He couldn't fail again.

"Let's go!"

Sango exchanged a look with Miroku. Both of them had seen Kagome desperately fighting to keep the hurt from her face. It passed over her like a shadow, draining some of the light that enchanted them so to the young Miko. Even Inuyasha had to fight to hate Kagome initially. Kagome was not so weak as Sango and Miroku feared, though. She did not even entertain the thought of tears misting her eyes. Rather, she spoke quietly to Shippou, who was taking Inuyasha's mood quite personally.

"Shippou, don't lag. Let's go, hmmm?"

If we walk, I can ignore Inuyasha's brooding. I can ignore that he is thinking of his Kikyou. Yes, his Kikyou, in a way that I will never be his Kagome.

Aching welled inside Kagome, yet it was so hollow it did not bring the swell of tears one might expect. It was so rare for the group to be this quiet, even in light of one of Inuyasha's moods. His reaction to Kikyou, though…

[Flashback]

"A jewel shard! That way, Inuyasha!"

Kagome held tight to Inuyasha as he bounded, skimming over the ground. Kirara transported Miroku, Sango and Shippou just behind them. Jewel shards were often nasty business, but Kagome couldn't help but enjoy the wind in her face and the feeling of weightlessness on Inuyasha's back. He went so fast that she was allowed to cling to him without arousing any suspicion.

Sango noticed it first, then Miroku. There was a soft cry of "Oh!" from Sango's lips, then the sudden halt of Inuyasha. Kagome did not notice what had happened until she was almost violently flung off of Inuyasha's back.

"Don't cling to me!"

His words struck Kagome, yet they were not without explanation. Kagome's eyes found Kikyou standing there. The older Miko's eyes wavered with pain and hurt. She was the source of the Jewel shard Kagome had felt. For the first time ever, she wished that her senses were not quite so accurate.

"Inuyasha…" Kagome swallowed as she tried to collect her pride, still sitting on the ground from being thrown of the hanyou's back. Inuyasha focused on Kikyou, his eyes fierce and guarded. Tension ran through his body.

Dammit! Why did Kikyou have to see that? She shows so much hurt! Why doesn't death make her numb? He stepped towards Kikyou, forcing Kagome out of his mind. Kikyou came first. Kikyou was the one he had failed, the first he had promised to protect.

"Inuyasha, you still fail to protect me from yourself." Kikyou spoke, her tones soft but monotone. Even that caused Inuyasha pain. He had done this to her. It was his fault. He gritted his teeth at her words. "Your love changes places so easily."

"Feh! I don't love her, Kikyou, so don't be stupid!"

[/Flashback]

Why, Kagome wondered. Why did he have to say that he didn't love her with such vehemence. Even just recalling his words in her mind had her recoiling and the blood pulsing in her ears again. Miroku and Sango had been too shocked to say anything after Inuyasha denounced her. Kikyou had looked… well, like she always did. She looked unaffected, then stole away with herself. Right on cue, Inuyasha spoke up.

"Kagome, have you got a trace of Kikyou's jewel shard yet? You better tell me, so I can be sure to protect her!"

He spoke harshly. Kagome winced and shook her head mutely. In a split second, he had decided to hate her. It was fine for Kagome to bear the pain when she saw him and Kikyou together, but he would not let Kikyou sustain such an injury. She was his love, something Kagome was going to have to accept. Kagome hung back more in the group. Noticing this, Sango stopped to wait for Kagome. Safely out of earshot, Sango spoke to Kagome in comforting tones.

"Kagome... you know how he is. Please, don't be so sad." Kagome forced a smile. This only chilled Sango, when she saw how deadlike Kagome's eyes were. They were… like Kikyou's. Drained and devoid of any human like soul.

"Sango, may I borrow Kirara? I need to… ummm… it's just that.. medical supplies.. we are low on them, yes. I should restock. After we stop for the night, I mean."

Sango nodded slightly. Kagome did not want to talk, that much was obvious. So Sango merely offered silent support, staying in step with her friend and comrade. It was hours later until Miroku finally told Inuyasha they had to stop for the night. After setting up camp, Sango and Kagome exchanged a glance.

"I'm going down to the river with Kagome to wash up. We'll be back. Kirara, come with us please." Sango spoke cheerfully, allowing a slight stolen glance at Inuyasha. He grunted slightly in some sort of response. Miroku looked to Sango thoughtfully, already in tune with what Kagome had planned. Kagome nodded to Sango and rose, following the other girl.

"Hey, whatd'you need Kirara for?! Kagome, you better not be taking off!"

Sango and Kagome whipped around with stunned expressions on their faces as Inuyasha spoke out angrily. He had leapt to his feet, his hands balled up into angry fists to match his voice.

"So what if I am?" Kagome tilted her chin up defiantly at Inuyasha. She doubted he really cared if she was around, so long as he found his Kikyou.

"We need you to find the jewel shards!"

"The jewel shards, or Kikyou!"

Even Inuyasha was stunned for a second into silence. After a few long moments, he finally muttered something, ending in "Feh."

Disgusted, hurt and worn Kagome jumped on Kirara's back in her own response. She petted Kirara gently, then sighed softly.

"Kirara, let's go."

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A/N: This is my first ever fanfic. Be gentle! I welcome constructive criticism.

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, or any of the characters. Those rights belong to the creator of Inuyasha.