InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Curse of the Wolf ❯ Decisions ( Chapter 8 )

Chapter 8: Decisions

 

Inuyasha was standing by the tree taking care of the call of nature. He was thinking of Kouga again. It had been seven months since their time by the springs and he missed the ookami terribly. He sighed as he finished up, turning to head back to the others. He jumped in surprise at the sight of a rather large wolf sitting on its haunches, staring at him.

 

“Damn it, you scared me you scrawny wolf, get lost. Go on, get!” he yelled as he waved his hands at the animal.

 

The wolf didn't move, it continued to sit and stare, its tail twitching slightly. It was a beautiful animal, black as night with a reddish gold face mask and chest ruff. Striking blue eyes stared back at the hanyou.

 

The hanyou reached down to pick up a rock to throw at the creature when it hit him. Blue eyes? Since when do wolves have blue eyes? He dropped the rock, “K-Kouga?” he questioned. His heart hammered in his chest as he watched the animal transform into the very person he had been thinking about.

 

“Who you calling a scrawny wolf, dog breath,” Kouga teased, his tail waving happily behind him. Normally he would have been ashamed of showing his happiness in such a way but since it was Inuyasha he could care less. Even rarer was the fact he let the inu see him in his animal form, only a handful of people knew he could even transform in such a way, again another throwback that he had kept well hidden.

 

“You're naked,” Inuyasha stated dumbly.

 

“You didn't think my clothing transformed too did you?” the ookami laughed at him.

 

Inuyasha crossed the distance between them in a heartbeat, grabbing the wolf and hugging him tightly. He couldn't stop the tears from coursing down his face or the soft sob that escaped his lips.

 

“Inuyasha?” questioned Kouga worriedly as he returned the hug by clasping his arms around the hanyou's back

 

“Damn, I've missed you, you stupid wolf,” Inuyasha half-laughed and half-cried into Kouga's shoulder. He leaned up and licked his cheek and chin several times before snuggling his head into the wolf's shoulder again. He could smell the difference in Kouga's scent. The seasonal odour was gone only leaving the sharp, musky smell of wild wolf. In the past it was a scent that the inu had found disagreeable but now he thought it was the best smell in the world.

 

“I've missed you too, puppy,” Kouga returned, lifting Inuyasha's chin so he could lick his nose and cheeks. Their lips soon found each others and they kissed passionately and deeply, letting their tongues come together to caress and tease, again learning each others caverns.

 

They pulled apart quickly when they heard a young voice, “Inuyasha, are you still out here?” It was Shippou come to see what had been taking the hanyou so long.

 

The two canines pressed their foreheads together, saying nothing, blue staring into gold. Kouga stepped back and melded down into his animal form. Giving Inuyasha one last sad look, he disappeared back into the darkness of the forest.

 

“There you are, what's taking you…” Shippou stopped and stared at the tears that were sliding down his friends cheeks.

 

Inuyasha noticed the gawking kitsune and growled, wiping his face quickly with the sleeve of his haori. “This isn't what you think so you just shut up, you hear me,” he threatened the kit, showing him his clenched fist.

 

“Why are you crying?” Shippou asked, ignoring the blustering, wishing he knew how to make Inuyasha feel better. Even he had felt the sadness in the hanyou these last few months but he had never seen him cry before. It worried the small fox.

 

“I'm not crying, I just got something in my eye, I told you to shut up about it,” Inuyasha growled back, stalking off towards their camp.

 

Shippou didn't believe a word, he wasn't stupid. He may only be a kid but he was a demon kid and he felt the hanyou's sadness almost as much as if it was his own. He was going to have to have a talk with Kagome and the others. Maybe they would know what to do to get Inuyasha to tell them what was wrong and get him back to normal.

 

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Inuyasha was sitting in his favourite tree by the village looking towards where he knew Kouga's territory to be. Since seeing him that few minutes a week ago he had done nothing but mope. He could not believe how much it hurt to not be with that wolf.

 

He had tried; he really had, to forget about Kouga and what they had shared. He threw himself into the work of trying to find the shards and Naraku, immersing himself in the comfort of his friends. He only found relief from sadness when he was in battle with another demon. He didn't even complain, as he usually did, when everyone wanted to help some human or some village with their demon problem. It just meant he could take his mind off the wolf for awhile.

 

He was glad for those few moments they had shared in the woods, knowing that Kouga missed him as well, but it had been bitter-sweet. His heart had almost broken when the wolf had slipped back into the shadows without him.

 

I didn't know he could do that, he thought with wonder, thinking back on the transformation he had witnessed. He supposed he hadn't really thought about it. His brother turned into a gigantic white dog and since Kouga was full demon too, it only made sense that he could do it as well. But this seemed different to Inuyasha. The animal shape Kouga had assumed was a lot smaller than his brother's form, really only a bit larger than a normal wolf. He had the idea that he hadn't seen all the wolf prince could transform into.

 

Inuyasha sat up a bit straighter, his normal plucky nature coming out from under the depression that was trying to take him over. He had just come to a decision. Fuck this shit, I can't handle this anymore. I have to be with him. We can work something out so we can be together. I'm going to go find him.

 

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Shippou, who had followed Inuyasha without being noticed, slipped back into the village. He knew the hanyou would probably be out there for hours, staring out into nothing from that tree. He snuck back to the village to talk to the others while the hanyou was occupied. He found them in Kaede's hut getting ready to eat supper.

 

“Where's Inuyasha?” asked Kagome when the kit sat down with the others. She was looking expectantly at the door.

 

“He's sitting in the tree,” Shippou replied.

 

Kagome's face fell. She could not figure out what was going on with her friend. He was so quiet all the time now, he never argued with anyone and they had all been shocked when he hadn't even fought with Sesshoumaru the time he had crossed paths with them. She even thought the taiyoukai had been surprised when his taunts received next to no reaction from the hanyou at all. Sesshoumaru had just looked at him in an odd way and then had walked off, mysterious as always.

 

“I need to tell you guys that I caught him crying in the woods,” Shippou told the rest, taking a small bite of noodles.

 

“What? When?” Kagome asked her breath catching in her throat in worry. The others had stopped eating and were staring at the little fox.

 

”Last week, right after we got that last shard,” he replied around a mouthful of food.

 

“Why didn't you tell us this, Shippou?” asked Miroku

 

“I couldn't get the chance, I didn't want him to hear me ya know,” the kit said, taking another mouthful. He waved his chopsticks in the air to emphasize his point. “He'd of hit me on the head for telling.”

 

“Well, that is true,” agreed Miroku. “Then he just would have denied it.”

 

“We need to do something,” said Kagome quietly. She was so worried for Inuyasha. He wouldn't tell any of them what the matter was but the young miko could see he was spiralling down into a depression that she was afraid he would not be able to lift himself out of.

 

“I don't know what we can do if he won't tell us what's wrong,” Sango stated. She was worried as well and had run out of idea's to get the hanyou to open up and tell them the problem.

 

“Maybe if I tried,” offered Miroku. “Perhaps he would be more comfortable talking to another man.”

 

“Would you?” Kagome asked hopefully

 

“I'll try my best,” Miroku replied with a grin.

 

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Ginta and Hakkaku had become very worried about Kouga. Since he had returned with Ayame as his mate he had been quiet and distant. His brashness and playfulness was gone and he was so serious all the time. The elders thought it was great; he was acting just like they wanted him to. Just like a prince should as far as they were concerned. He never smiled and his eyes had a sad, haunted look to them most times. Especially now, he was sitting out there on that rock again.

 

“Fifth time this week he's kept watch,” Ginta told Hakkaku.

 

“He hates being sentry,” Hakkaku returned. “You'd almost think he's trying to avoid being with Ayame.”

 

“Yeah, I mean he only slept with her once, I don't think I've seen him touch her again.”

 

“That doesn't seem normal for Kouga,” Ginta replied. “Do you think it's because of Kagome? I mean he always said he wanted her to be his mate and yet he came back with Ayame. Maybe Kagome refused him and he's pining for his true love.” The wolf demon had his hands clasped by his heart, his eyelashes fluttering like crazy, unaware that he was partially correct in his assessment.

 

Hakkaku rolled his eyes, “Don't be so dramatic, but you do have a point. Maybe we should go talk to sister Kagome.”

 

“Ah hum,” agreed Ginta. His smiled failed him for a moment. “But what about Inuyasha, he'll want to come back here too if we ask Kagome to help. You know all him and Kouga do is fight, especially over her. I don't think that would be good. In the shape he's in now, Inuyasha might really hurt him this time.”

 

“Humm, we'll have to think on it a bit more, but we have to do something to help Kouga.”

 

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Kouga sat on the rock looking out over his territory in the direction he knew Inuyasha's forest was located. He had thought of nothing else other than the hanyou since he had come across him a week ago. He had been out hunting in his wolf form, it being more entertaining to track and bring down prey than in his humanoid form, when he had stumbled across the scent of his lover. He couldn't stop himself from going to see him. Their time had been too short, cut off by that fox runt.

 

Kouga sighed. He had tried to let go of the hanyou, had done what he was supposed to. He brought back a mate plus her pack and he had even tried to get her pregnant to provide the elders the wanted heirs. The meld of the two packs was good for all and everyone was happy, well everyone except him.

 

His mate had been joyous when he had first asked her to be his. It was something she had wanted since she had been a child and he tried to do his best to please her. But he was finding it harder and harder to keep up the façade and he knew he was hurting her. He couldn't explain to his crying mate why he didn't want to touch her anymore. He used one excuse after another but they both knew it was all lies. This just made him feel like a total shit. It wasn't her fault that she was not who he wanted to be with. He thanked whomever was in charge that there were no pups on the way.

 

I don't deserve to be alpha he thought to himself as he watched the sun slowly set.

 

He didn't realize it but he was also hurting himself. He felt hatred at himself for bowing to the demands of the elders and taking a mate he didn't and would never love. He felt like he had used her. He felt as if he had betrayed Inuyasha. By bedding Ayame it was like he was cheating. After the one time he had slept with her he had felt so much guilt and self loathing that he couldn't bear to touch her again.

 

I've whored myself and her out to a bunch of old assholes. Kouga just felt worthless and it was breaking his spirit. Thoughts of jumping off the nearest cliff or better yet, finding Naraku and fighting him on his own had flitted though his mind.

 

He just couldn't believe how much he could miss that stupid mutt. Kouga sat up straighter, dragging himself out of his self pity. He had just come to a decision. Fuck this shit, I'm leaving. I'll tell Ayame I love someone else, I don't have to say who. She'll be able to save face if I'm the jerk that left her for another and abandoned the pack. I'm sure that there's a few other's that would take her as a mate. Let the fucking elders led the pack or whoever they want to put in charge. I can't take this anymore. I'm going to go be with Inuyasha.

 

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It was quite late and Inuyasha still had not returned. “I'll go get him,” Miroku told the worried group. “I'm sure he's still sitting and moping in that tree of his. Maybe this will give me an opportunity to speak to him.”

 

A few minutes later Miroku returned. “Did he come back here?” he questioned Sango as he approached the hut.

 

“No, I haven't seen him. Wasn't he in the tree?”

 

“No, I don't understand,” Miroku mussed with concern.

 

“Where could he be?” Kagome asked worriedly. “He always comes back before this.”

 

“Come on, let's go see if we can find him. Kirara, will you help?” Miroku asked the kitten demon.

 

She answered by transforming into her full fire cat form, meowing in affirmation. The group headed off to the tree to see if either Shippou or Kirara could pick up his scent so they could find their missing friend.

 

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Kouga headed into his cave where his mate was sitting. “Ayame, I have to tell you something,” he said quietly to her, making the red haired, wolf demoness look up to him quizzically.

 

Is he finally going to tell me what's been wrong? She asked herself hopefully.

 

“I'm so sorry,” he sighed taking both her hands in his. “I…I love someone else. I'm leaving to go find them.”

 

“Leaving?” she whispered back, her mind in shock. “But…but…our pack…”

 

“Will be better off without me,” he interrupted. He hated how this was hurting her. “I'm not who you think I am Ayame. I'm a selfish, lying bastard. I don't deserve you.”

 

“It's that human, Kagome,” she bit out angrily.

 

“No, it's not what you think. I can't explain and I don't expect your forgiveness but stay here, your family is here now and my pack will protect you. They are your pack now.” He looked at her sadly. “Find someone else, Ayame, someone better than me, someone who loves you.” He stood and without looking back, his heart hurting at what he had just done, he left in a whirl of wind to find his true mate.

 

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“Hey, isn't that Hakkaku and Ginta over there?” Miroku asked as the group wandered through the forest tracking their hanyou friend. They had just started to go after him again after stopping for the night. It was now mid-morning and they were surprised that they hadn't come across him yet.

 

The two wolf demons were sniffing around on the ground just off to the left of where Kagome, Sango, Miroku, Shippou and Kirara were.

 

“Yeah,” replied Kagome. “But I don't see Kouga-kun. I wonder what they're doing here?”

 

Hakkaku looked up and saw the group off to the right of him and his friend. “Hey, it's sister Kagome,” he told Ginta, tapping him on the shoulder. The two boys loped over to the group.

 

“Hi,” Kagome greeted warmly.

 

“Hi,” the two wolf boys said in unison. They began to look around curiously. “Where's Inuyasha?” asked Ginta.

 

“We're trying to find him,” replied Miroku. “I don't suppose you two have seen him.”

 

“No, we're trying to find Kouga. You guys haven't seen him have you?”

 

The group shook their heads. Everyone stood for a moment just looking at each other. “That's odd that they would both be missing.” Sango mussed.

 

“Do you think they went off to fight Naraku on their own?” Hakkaku asked.

 

The two lifetime friends of Kouga's had found the rock empty when they went to relieve Kouga of his shift. When they had questioned a weeping Ayame about it all she would say was that Kouga had left and wouldn't be back. Both boys had stared at each other in surprise and then had left to go find their friend and leader.

 

This only got Kagome worried and tears began to well up into her eyes.

 

Miroku gave the wolf demons a hard stare. That thought had gone though his mind as well. Knowing Inuyasha that is something he would do. He wouldn't want the rest of us to get hurt. But that doesn't explain that sadness in him. “I don't think so, at least as far as Inuyasha goes,” he replied.

 

“Why don't we stick together, maybe we can find them both easier,” Ginta suggested

 

“That sounds like a good idea,” Kagome smiled. They all continued on, the only scent they could find was Inuyasha's so they trekked after him. Everyone began to share what had been happening with their two friends.

 

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Kouga came swirling out of his spiral of wind, stopping right in front of Inuyasha. “Hey mutt,” he greeted smiling hugely.

 

Inuyasha grinned back joyously, a bit surprised to find the wolf out here. “Scrawny wolf,” the hanyou answered him back before taking him in his arms and kissing him, causing Kouga to lose his breath.

 

“I left the pack, I couldn't stand it, I just had to be with you,” Kouga told his hanyou lover after their lips had parted.

 

“Me too, I took off to find you. I just don't know what to do anymore I can't stand not being with you.”

 

The two lovers kissed and licked, reaffirming their bond. Both of their hearts swelling with love for the other, their aching souls finding peace.

 

“What are we going to do, Inuyasha?” Kouga questioned.

 

“I don't know, but we'll figure something out. Right now I just want to be with you.”

 

“I know a place,” Kouga said with a wolfish grin.

 

“Yeah? Well what are we waiting for,” Inuyasha answered, his gold eyes sparkling with excitement and want.