InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Dancing with Scissors ❯ Beauty Parlor, Kouga, and Video Halloween ( Chapter 17 )

Sesshoumaru strode into the drawing room to pour himself a Scotch on the rocks. After a busy, stress-filled day at work, a long commute due to construction and traffic, and the blistering heat of August finally bearing down after a relatively mild summer, his goal was to unwind and cool off with a stiff drink before grabbing a bite and answering email. He tossed a few ice cubes into a lowball glass, the satisfying melody holding the promise of a brief respite from the petty machinations of city council politics, when he heard a shy, hesitant voice behind him.

 

“Uncle Sesshoumaru, will you play with me?”

 

He turned to see Rin standing in the door of the drawing room, shuffling her feet and carrying a purple hatbox.

 

Rin tried to capture the perfect combination of loneliness and hope to be convincing, not wanting to pull out The Look if it was unnecessary. She had used it one time too many on Kagome recently and was told about something called Acquired Immunity. “Kagome is busy making dinner, and Grandmother is leaving for a meeting, and Grandfather is on the phone.”

 

Though not exactly how he had anticipated spending the next half an hour, Rin's presence would certainly be an effective means of escape from the demands of the office. “I'm not busy right now,” he said patiently. “What is the game, and what should I do?”

 

A happy, wide grin split the child's face. “You just have to sit on the floor,” she said, taking his hand and pulling him to the leather chaise longue, all shyness gone. Once he was safely in place with her kneeling above and behind him, she told him the title, “It's called Beauty Parlor.”

 

Sesshoumaru spun around. “Beauty Parlor?” he asked apprehensively, noticing the hatbox, lid now off, contained a colorful assortment of hair clips and ribbons, a brush, and cosmetics.

 

Rin took his head in her small hands and gently, but firmly, turned him to face front once more. “Me and Daddy played all the time. He said it was his favorite game,” she reassured, taking the brush and immediately getting to work on her uncle's silvery white hair. She was glad she was beginning to be able to think of her father without feeling too much sadness. “Except after this one time, he would only play when Mommy and Kagome were gonna be gone for more than an hour.”

 

“Oh?” Sesshoumaru asked, resigned to his fate. “And why is that?”

 

“He let me put a whole bunch of make-up on him, but then Mommy and Kagome came home faster than he thought they would. They said he was super cute and laughed really hard. Mommy even started rolling on the floor, and Kagome started to cry…but that's no biggie…she cries all the time,” Rin said dismissively. “Daddy acted mad, even though he really wasn't that mad, `cause they were being too silly, so Mommy held him down while Kagome got her camera and took some pictures. Then Daddy and Mommy started kissing, and he picked her up like a fireman does and carried her into their room. Daddy said something about it being Mommy's turn. I asked Kagome `turn for what?' She said it was grown-up stuff and took me out for ice cream.”

 

Sesshoumaru smiled softly, picturing the intimate scene she described, thoughtful that his brother had enjoyed a loving home in later life.

 

Rin put the brush down and said, “Now I'm gonna shampoo you. First the water.” She made the swooshing sounds one would expect emanating from a spray hose and lightly raked her fingers downward through his hair. “Next is the shampoo.” Sesshoumaru closed his eyes and sighed. The brushing felt good; the girl's deft hands massaging his scalp, rubbing in circles and spirals was heavenly.

 

Rin took note of the calm that he exuded as his accumulated tension eased and was pleased; he reacted just as her father had. After several minutes, her fingers started getting tired. “Now rinse.” Again she made water spraying sounds and ran her palms steadily along his head. “And now time for the styling.”

 

Sesshoumaru had no idea what she was doing and how it made him look, but the gentle pulling and combing was bliss. He was at her mercy, helpless against the tiny fingers and the much needed relaxation they brought. He was somewhat disappointed when she announced, “Done!” Rin got down and stood in front of him, inspecting her grooming. She added a monarch butterfly barrette and, smiling, gave him a mirror.

 

Sesshoumaru looked first in the mirror, then at the girl, who was anxious for his good opinion. He had at least a dozen bright saffron-colored hair bands, bows, and clips haphazardously adorning his hair, sticking out at all angles and defying known laws of physics. “Interesting,” was his cautious response.

 

It satisfied Rin. “Orangey-gold is my favorite color,” she grinned. “It's the color of me and you and Daddy's and Grandfather's eyes.”

 

Sesshoumaru had to admit, the hair accessories brought out the layered amber hues perfectly. He realized the incongruous inanity of his reaction and inwardly kicked himself for letting the child get away with murder, resisting the urge to reach up and start yanking the offending objects from his person before he could fully contemplate the degree of ridiculousness she had achieved.

 

Rin knew he didn't like it, but shrewdly recognized his weakness to her charms. “Can I put some make-up on you now?” she asked in her most innocent voice.

 

“No.” His answer was unequivocal, but she remained undeterred.

 

“Pleeeeease,” she entreated, summoning The Look.

 

The combination of the plaintive longing in her voice and the puppy dog eyes and pouting mouth killed his resolve to deny her. “Just a little.” He really was not pleased with the situation.

 

Rin reached into the box and grabbed a soft pencil in her second favorite color. She used to call it purpley-red, but liked Kagome's names for it—magenta, fuchsia—better. She sat in her uncle's lap, giddy that he was still playing along with her. “Close your eyes,” she sang. She started by covering each of his lids, careful to fill in all the gaps completely. “Open!” He complied, and she was pleased with the effect of the two colors when combined. Once finished with his eyes, she moved to the side of his face, drawing a tapering line along his cheekbone. She sat back a little and tilted her head, narrowing her eyes, much like she had seen her aunt do while deliberating details of her art work. The line, she decided, was nice, and instead of smudging it to blend, she traced a second, right underneath the first. Now the real challenge—to recreate the dual stripes on the other side.

 

Sesshoumaru watched indulgently as his niece wrinkled her nose in concentration, doing god-knows-what to his face. He was aware that she was manipulating him with her childish sweetness and he was allowing himself to be played, but it didn't matter. There were very few people in whom he placed his trust; that the tiny girl in his arms now shared such closeness made him realize how much his life had changed.

 

Though the symmetry was not perfect, Rin was reasonably satisfied. She knew better than to ask about lipstick, but determined her masterpiece was not finished. She recalled an Indian fairy tale her teacher at Montessori school had read and was inspired; it was a story about a boy who was born with a moon-marked forehead. She chose a deep blue eye pencil with a fine point and, after a teasing rebuke of his Crabby Face, tentatively drew a large crescent on his brow.

 

“Rin Rin, dinner in ten min—” Kagome appeared in the doorway and froze, mouth gaping in disbelief. Sesshoumaru could do nothing but watch, mortified, as her expression turned from incredulity to amused horror. A wicked snort escaped before she slapped her hand over her mouth and quickly turned, almost falling in her haste to flee from the scene.

 

Sesshoumaru was disgusted. “Is she going to get her camera?” he asked, wishing for invisibility or, at the very least, Kagome to be suddenly stricken blind.

 

“Nah,” Rin answered. “She's probably just gonna call Sango.” He hung his head in shame. “You don't need to be embarrassed Uncle Sesshoumaru. You look really pretty.”

 

XxXxX

 

Kagome delivered a large, non-fat, iced latte and vegan bran muffin to Sango and flopped on the couch in her office. “It's hot as balls out there. Fucking August.”

 

“Shit, Kagome!” Sango exclaimed. “What happened to your face?”

 

Kagome tenderly touched her fat lip with her tongue. “I walked in on Rin playing Beauty Parlor with Sesshoumaru.”

 

“And what…he hit you?” Sango asked brusquely, failing to see the connection.

 

Kagome sipped her cool beverage. “No, he came over this morning to give something to Rin, and I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. So hard that I had blood dripping down my chin.”

 

“Poor man,” Sango laughed. “I've seen the pictures of Inuyasha; I know what she's capable of.”

 

“God Sango,” Kagome sighed, emoting. “I've never seen anything so fucking precious as Rin connecting with her uncle, establishing a relationship like she had with Yasha. Killing me. But in a good way.”

 

Sango sobered. “Is it getting any easier?” she asked gently.

 

“Yeah. I hardly cry at all anymore. Not that I don't miss them constantly, but it doesn't physically hurt as much. Knowing that the Taishos are taking to Rin helps a lot. And she to them…the girl just soaks it up. Total love sponge. That she's happy removes a huge angsty, tragic aspect from the…angst and tragedy.”

 

Sango was relieved, knowing that Kagome would tell her if she wasn't coping. “So things are going well?”

 

“All good…so far. The Taishos' look of outright hostility has turned into cautious ambiguity into tolerant acceptance. And Sesshoumaru…I've started thinking of him as a real, albeit sinfully hot, friend.”

 

“What do you think he's like in bed?” Sango asked slyly.

 

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Kagome growled. “I feel like I can't even have a normal conversation without you—”

 

“Like you haven't wondered,” Sango interrupted, challenging.

 

Kagome's attempt at a derisive sneer failed miserably, punctuated by a short laugh. “Past experience has taught that self-absorbed men usually make lousy lovers, but I'll freely admit I was all wrong about him. He's got a high opinion of himself, but he's also complex and interesting, and I think he notices and cares way more than he lets on.” She played with the lid of her beverage. “Yep. That whole I'm So Above You Unwashed Masses vibe is an act.”

 

Sango decided to carefully push. “So are you ready to date again yet? It's been way over a year and a half since Dr. Hojo.”

 

“Again with the pimpage!” Kagome scowled, but couldn't help but smile. “Soon…I promise.”

 

“Good. Kagome, I wouldn't rush you into anything you aren't ready for, but I truly think you'll be fine. I'm so happy in my life. A healthy, committed, monogamous, long term relationship…I want you to have it too.” She tore apart her muffin. “How about Ses—”

 

“Don't start!” The scowl came back tenfold. “He doesn't like me that way. Besides…he's my brother-in-law's brother. It'd be like incest or something.”

 

“That's the worst excuse yet. Nothing like incest.” Sango had seen the way Sesshoumaru had been watching Kagome and, knowing that her friend would not be unreceptive to overtures, began plotting, wondering what she could get away with.

 

Kagome narrowed her eyes; she had known Sango for ten years and could tell when she was up to something. “Are we still on for an Ultimate Frisbee picnic on Saturday?” she inquired, changing the subject. “You all don't really play in this heat do you?”

 

“We are totally on for Saturday. I talked to Bank today, and they are coming; Jak is already planning a four course meal. And yes we play…just drink lots of water and take a few extra breaks. Heat stroke is for wusses.”

 

Kagome laughed. “And you, dear, are anything but a wuss.” She started on her muffin.

 

“Hey, did you hear?” Sango inquired, newly animated. “Ayame broke up with Kouga.”

 

Kagome almost spit out her food. “No. Fucking. Way. HOLYSHIT!”

 

“Yep,” Sango nodded. “Kouga called Miroku last night freaking. She was the one who wrote that letter to Scarlet.”

 

“Noooo. Nonono,” Kagome groaned, pressing her palms against her forehead. “I was so afraid it was her. The resemblance in the details was just uncanny. Shit. Poor Kouga. Poor Ayame.” She sat up. “God I feel so responsible. Please tell me the advice was okay.”

 

Sango smiled softly. “You said, to summarize, `I can't read his mind, so I don't know how he really feels about you, but you need to do what is right for you.' Not bad advice, Kagome,” Sango said. “Don't blame yourself. Kouga brought this on by not letting go. I'm just surprised Ayame was able to go through with it. She must have been pretty unhappy.”

 

Kagome only felt marginally better. “Crap. I wrote, `I would rather be alone than with someone who didn't have his whole heart in it. I would rather be alone than with a partner who wanted someone else.' What if I was wrong? What if I just broke up a good couple? Crap.” The advice she dispensed suddenly took on a very personal, very heavy weight. Her cell phone rang. She fished it out of her pocket and looked at the icon identifying the caller. A picture of Cling Wrap. Kouga. “Goddam coincidences.”

 

XxXxX

 

“Kouga, come in. How are you?” Kagome asked after greeting the unshaven, forlorn-looking man with a long hug. Kouga had asked if he could come over to talk; Kagome, after easily extracting a promise that he wouldn't hit on her, agreed.

 

“Surviving,” he muttered, following her into the cool, climate-controlled air of the guest house. “Where's little Rin?” He reached out to the dog hovering protectively at Kagome's side.

 

“She's spending the night at the big house with her grandparents. I figured you'd like some privacy.” She steered him into the living room, pushed him down to sit on the sofa, and fetched two beers from the refrigerator. “Now,” she said, sitting and handing him a beer, “you said you wanted to talk. I'm listening.”

 

“Kagome…I'm confused.”

 

She came close to choking on her beer. “Okay! Captain Obvious! Or is it Oblivious?” Kagome noticed his dejected appearance and became serious. “Kouga, you've been hung up on me for five years now, despite the fact that I've done absolutely nothing to encourage this devotion. I've known for a long time that you're confused…or delusional. Talk to me.”

 

He looked at her sheepishly. “Can I kiss you?”

 

“WHAT!” she screamed in horror. “You swore you weren't going to do this. Kouga, I love you as a friend. You helped me through some major roughness, but right now I want to fucking punch you.”

 

“God, don't!” he recoiled. “I'm not hitting on you. I just need to do an experiment.”

 

“How about you explain what the hell you're shoveling first.”

 

“Kagome,” he began after a minute of thinking, “I have always considered you my soul mate, my woman.” He raised his hand to silence her protest and quickly said, “That is until Ayame dumped me. I miss her, Kagome. It took losing her to make me realize it, and I can't believe I was such an idiot before, but I love her. I really do. I held out hope that you'd want a relationship with me for two years after we broke up…two miserable years. It's nothing compared to the last two days since she left.” He sighed raggedly. “And now things are totally fucked. What should I do? I want her back.”

 

She heard the honesty in his voice and laid a comforting hand over his. “Talk to her. Tell her all this…only leave out the part about me. Tell her you love her and you're a stupid retread for taking her for granted and you're a pathetic loser without her and you're sorry and things will change. Then give her some time. Breaking up with you felt counter-intuitive to her, and she's probably still feeling emotionally vulnerable. Let her know gently she's safe with you. That she can trust you. Then start dating again slowly, with you showing her at every step that she's the one you want to be with. Give her reasons to believe you. But no smothering. No suffocation. Let her meet you half-way.”

 

Kouga looked relieved. He was given a strategy, a plan. “Thanks, Kags. Like always, you give the best advice. Unlike that bitch, Scarlet.”

 

Kagome laughed. “'That bitch, Scarlet' is whom you should be thanking for forcing your stupid ass to get a clue.”

 

They finished their beers, and Kagome walked him to his car, the evening air sticky and heavy from the high humidity.

 

“Kagome, thank you. I'm glad we've managed to stay friends through the years.”

 

“Me too,” she smiled.

 

“Can I still have a kiss?” Kouga asked quietly, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “Just as an experiment.”

 

Kagome rolled her eyes. “What the hell. Go ahead.” Apparently the heat is affecting my judgment, she thought.

 

Kouga leaned down and brushed his lips against hers, hesitantly at first, then with increasing boldness. He slipped an arm tightly around her waist and deepened the kiss. Kagome responded cautiously, twining her fingers in his hair, but taking care to keep tongues out of the picture.

 

Kouga pulled back and smiled widely, relief softening the look of distress he'd worn earlier. “I'll always have a soft spot for you, Kagome,” he whispered. “But now I really know; Ayame is the one I want.”

 

Kagome sighed, relieved. Kouga had smoldering, sexy eyes and was a fabulous kisser, but there was just no spark between them. “Glad to hear it. Now go get `er, you big, bad wolf,” she teased, playfully pinching his cheek. “Just remember what I said. Take it slow, with respect.”

 

Kagome walked back to the welcoming, cool interior of the guest house, unaware of tall figure standing serenely at his bedroom window, watching with a frown on his face.

 

XxXxX

 

“Did she go down alright for you?” Kagome asked Sesshoumaru as he walked into the guest house living room. “I told her she wasn't allowed to take advantage of your status as Bedtime Noob, but I was still afraid she'd try to con a bunch of extra stories out of you.” Rin had requested that her Uncle read to her that night. Kagome stayed nearby, hand-stitching narrow silver piping on a custom table runner and placemat set, patiently waiting to see if Rin needed reminding of proper bedtime protocol.

 

“She was very good,” Sesshoumaru answered, not caring for the label of Noob. “I'm not letting the child treat me as a doormat, you know.”

 

Kagome had a mental flash of two white-haired men, faces colorfully marked, each with the same gleeful child in his lap. Her comical expression and slow nod clearly articulated, `You just go ahead and believe that, sucker'. “Would you like to stay for a drink? I know it's Friday night, but you don't look like you have plans.” She had noticed his usual effortless, elegant appearance, but the casual, untucked, tailored linen shirt suggested that he wasn't on his way out for a night on the town.

 

“I'd like that; thank you.” Though disappointed that she was apparently romantically involved with Kouga, whom he knew by reputation as a talented corporate lawyer, he enjoyed her company and had hoped she would invite him to stay.

 

“Grey Goose gimlet okay?” She set aside her sewing, careful to not displace the pins that held the intricate design in place. Sesshoumaru followed her into the kitchen, stopping briefly to pet the dog who rolled on his back in hopeful anticipation of a belly rub. Kagome looked behind and giggled. “Ah…his porn star pose. That dog has not a single shred of dignity. Except for when he runs; then his grace takes my breath away.” She took out two glasses, Rose's Lime Juice, and vodka and ice from the freezer. “I was digging in the storage shed today…looking for my paddle ball of all things. I ended up spending two hours poking around and reminiscing and crying. I never found my paddle ball, but I did bring back a couple videos. Do you want to watch one with me?”

 

“A video? Of what?”

 

“Well,” she began, handing him a drink, “you mentioned the other day that you wished your family had gotten to know Kikyou, so I thought you might like this one that Bank made on Halloween five years ago. Usually Kikyou was pretty aloof and stayed away from the center of attention, leaving the spotlight to my and Inuyasha's lunacy, but Bank wouldn't let her fade into the background and managed to capture the warmth of her personality.” She thought he seemed interested, in his typical, unreadable Sesshoumaru way. “Bank had gotten a new video camera and fancied himself a documentarian; he took it everywhere. Meeting Jak, who told him he looked like a tourist, killed his movie-making ambitions, but I can't wait for the trip down memory lane.” They went back into the living room, and Kagome put a disk into the DVD player. “Now I have to tell you,” she said solemnly, “I'm really trusting you to show you this; it shows Inuyasha and I in a most unflattering light. We were both super stoned and acted like complete morons.”

 

“Morons? Nothing I haven't seen before,” he observed, mocking lightly.

 

She beamed and sat next to him, hitting PLAY.

 

Kikyou, hugely pregnant and wearing a long, skimpy, earth-toned dress and headdress made of twisting vines and autumn leaves, sat on the sofa and smiled at the camera. “My name is Kikyou Higurashi. It is the night of Halloween 2002, and I am now costumed, courtesy of my wonderful sister, as Gaia.” PAUSE

 

“Because I could sew, I usually made Halloween costumes for all my friends,” Kagome explained. “Have you ever seen anyone so beautiful though? She exemplified the quiet, voluptuous sensuality of pregnancy. That's why I dressed her as Mother Earth.” Sesshoumaru had to acknowledge the woman onscreen, with her clear, fair skin and black, cascading corkscrews of curled hair was incredibly lovely. PLAY

 

“Tell me something about yourself,” came Bank's voice from off-screen.

 

“Well, as one can see, I'm going to be giving birth soon. My…our first. In fact my due date is tomorrow, but the midwife told me she'd be surprised if I went before next week. I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, but…don't tell Inuyasha…I'm secretly hoping for a girl. The Taisho line needs some female blood.” She nodded sagely.

 

“Can I still videotape the birth?”

 

“Yes, but no crotch shots,” she said, matter-of-fact, “and I reserve the right to view it first and destroy all copies should I chose.”

 

“Agreed,” laughed Bank.

 

“I'm so ready.” She smiled shyly, rubbing the vast curve of her belly in a loving, protective gesture. “I feel like I've been pregnant my whole life. Longest nine months ever…but more than just wanting it OUT…I want to see this thing that has alternately made me feel like a woman capable of anything—I mean I'm growing another, living person for goddessake—and also made me so scared I can't breathe. And I can't wait to see Inuyasha hold his baby for the first time. He's going to be such a loving father.” She sighed heavily. “And respirating normally again will be welcome.”

 

“Any names?” Bank asked.

 

“Not telling,” she said coyly. “Inuyasha made a big list of baby names, but I had to cross more than half of them out on general principle. I'll put up with a lot, but naming a baby after a horror movie villain crosses a line.” There was the loud sound of feet on stomping down stairs. “Well, if it isn't Cheech and Chong,” Kikyou said. PAUSE

 

“When Kikyou found out she was pregnant, she told Inuyasha that once the baby was born, no more getting high. I said I'd stop when he had to stop, so we pooled our pin money and bought a half pound of weed and smoked it all over the following eight months. That night was the last of the stash.” She snuck a glance at Sesshoumaru hoping that he didn't look too judgmental. He was staring at her blankly.

 

“And do you plan on providing a running commentary through the whole thing?”

 

Kagome nudged him in her typical familiar way. “Of course, silly. You'll enjoy it more if I provide some context.” PLAY

 

A door in back of Kikyou opened. Inuyasha and Kagome, enveloped in a cloud of bluish smoke, spilled out, laughing at each other. Kagome had short hair, colored purple, and Inuyasha was wearing jeans and a t-shirt that read `Dyslexics of the World, Untie!' They punched and shushed each other, straightened and walked calmly to sit on either side of Kikyou, looked at each other, and then burst into snorts of incapacitating laughter. PAUSE

 

Kagome stared at the image on the screen, and her eyes filled with tears. “God, I forgot about my hair…dye job gone wrong. I really miss them,” she said softly. PLAY

 

Kikyou closed her eyes and slowly shook her head, as the two people on either side of her held their sides and gasped for air. “Yes, it's true; I'm bringing a child into this household.”

 

Inuyasha came to his senses and leaned over, smooching her on the cheek. “Hey Bank!” he greeted lazily. “Why aren't you dressed up?”

 

“I am. I'm a film student.” The camera spun around to capture the person holding it. Bank raised a brow rakishly and went back to filming the trio on the couch.

 

“Lame,” was the verdict of all three.

 

Kagome, now suddenly serious, turned her focus to her sister's head and adjusted the crown of leaves. “This is holding up better than I thought it would. I was afraid it would just crumble apart, but all good.” She stared at Kikyou, entranced. “You're so pretty, Kikyou. I wish I looked like you.”

 

“Good god,” Kikyou scoffed. “We're twins. You two are pathetic. I almost wish I was staying home to hand out candy instead of just leaving it on the front step.”

 

Kagome and Inuyasha snapped to attention. “Candy?” they chanted simultaneously. They looked at each other with narrowed eyes, challenging. The race to the kitchen and the large bag of Halloween candy was on, with Kagome the victor; she raced across the room, bag of candy hugged to her chest, and ran off-screen, Inuyasha close on her heels. Shrieks and screamed complaints were heard.

 

“Any bets on how long it takes Child Protective Services to come knocking on our door?” she asked, wry grin on her face.

 

“Nah,” Bank said. “You two will be good parents.”

 

“I know,” she nodded, composed and confident. “Inuyasha has been so sweet. Last weekend was the worst yet, sleep wise. I couldn't get comfortable lying down, and when I did I had to get up right away to use the bathroom…hardly any rest. He let me sleep in and brought me breakfast in bed.” She paused. “Do you realize what that means?”

 

“Mmm…tell me.”

 

“He got up early and made Smart Bacon and an egg substitute omelet.”

 

“Inuyasha made something without meat? Damn.” Bank's voice sounded impressed.

 

“Sometimes I love that man so much it hurts.” Inuyasha's curse-inflected shouts became louder. “And other times I want to kill him dead.”

 

Suddenly Inuyasha, now holding the candy and with Kagome riding on his back, ran into the room. “Get off me, you stupid slut!”

 

Kagome was pulling his hair with one hand and reaching for the candy with the other. “I'm. Not. Stupid!”

 

Kikyou buried her face in her hands for a moment. “Will you two please have pity on the poor, pregnant woman and KNOCK IT OFF!” Thoroughly chastised and rendered speechless, they sat down quickly. “Now, I've got to be in court tomorrow for CASA stuff at eight in the morning. Why don't you two get ready so we can go to this party,” she said.

 

Inuyasha kissed her. “Sorry, babe. We'll behave.” His wife answered with a look of skeptical, but indulgent, annoyance.

 

“Inuyasha, your costume is in the spare bedroom. And you have to wear all of it,” Kagome ordered.

 

He left after glaring at Kagome, and Kikyou asked quietly, “What is it? You've been very secretive.”

 

A devious grin bloomed on Kagome's face. “Sensitive New Age Guy.”

 

Kikyou laughed with shocked delight. “A SNAG? Oh god, you are cruel!”

 

“Aw FUCK!” Inuyasha thundered off-screen. “Kagome, you bitch!” He stormed into the room with a pair of khaki pants. “Pleated pants? Birkenstock sandals? No way in hell am I wearing this shit!”

 

Kagome stood and marched up to him. “I had to go to three separate thrift stores to find all these items in your size,” she said harshly, but then softened her tone. “Yash, I guarantee that if you put all that on and stay in character you'll win the best costume prize. It's only for one night.”

 

Inuyasha was distressed. “I'm gonna look like a total douche.”

 

“That's the point,” Kagome urged. “You'll look completely opposite how you usually do. Come on…$100 cash prize and bragging rights. You know you want to,” she pressured.

 

He remained unconvinced.

 

“Inuyasha,” Kikyou called, voice laced with seduction and a Come Hither expression on her face. He glumly sat next to her, and she whispered in his ear.

 

A wicked grin curled his mouth and spread into his hot, amber eyes. “You promise?” Kikyou's only answer was a slightly arched brow. He sped away, and Kagome took his spot.

 

“Don't forget to put on the socks!” she called over her shoulder. “They have little rainbow colored peace signs all over them.”

 

“Damn,” Bank said, “I had no idea you were such a sadist, Kagome.”

 

“It'll be good for him.” Kagome nodded, then looked at her sister. “What did you promise?”

 

“I told him he could tie me up after the party.” PAUSE

 

“I know I told you that Kikyou was the dominant one sexually, but they did some role reversal too. For someone who was as in control as Kikyou was, being blindfolded or tied up or both, while scary, was a total turn-on, a huge exercise in trust, really breaking down a lot of barriers. She said it was incredibly erotic…once she got over herself. Inuyasha said the first time they traded places, she was only wearing a blindfold and she still said the safeword a dozen times. His tolerance says a lot.”

 

Sesshoumaru grimaced slightly. “I'm really fine with not knowing the details of my brother's sex life, Kagome.”

 

“Suit yourself,” she shrugged. PLAY

 

There was another angry shout off-screen. “He must have seen the t-shirt,” Kagome smirked. “Sango and Miroku are going to be here any minute; I should go get ready.”

 

Inuyasha entered the room again, glowering. He was wearing sandals with socks, pleated pants, and a shirt that read `The Goddess is Alive and Magic is Afoot'. Kagome went and circled him slowly. “One more thing.” She tucked his shirt in.

 

“Are you done, you evil cow?”

 

“Inuyasha, be nice,” Kikyou warned.

 

Kagome kissed his cheek. “You're a good sport. I swear you'll win.”

 

“I better, or you'll pay for this.” He smiled and kissed her back. “Why couldn't you dress me up as something easy? Like Johnny Cash or someone?”

 

Kagome shook her head in patronizing disbelief. “The Man in Black? You're not worthy.” She went upstairs to her room, and Inuyasha sat back down resting his head on Kikyou's abdomen.

 

“At least someone here isn't out to get me,” he said. “Hey baby, in there; it's your Dad. You'll be on my side, won't you?” Kikyou ran her fingers through his hair, smiling peacefully.

 

They heard a knock and people on the stairs. Miroku and Sango appeared, both dressed in tight, black clothes, sporting sunglasses, and carrying automatic weapons.

 

“Let me guess,” Bank said. “George W. and Laura Bush?”

 

“Neo and Trinity,” Miroku replied. He saw Inuyasha and winced. “Dude…did you lose a bet?”

 

“No,” Inuyasha replied gruffly, standing and helping Kikyou struggle to her feet. “Just Kagome nonviolently busting my balls.”

 

Miroku looked down and cocked his head. “Nice socks,” he observed. “And you're almost out of candy downstairs.”

 

“I'll fill it up on the way out.” Kikyou greeted Sango and Miroku with hugs and kisses.

 

“Darling, you look gorgeous! Kagome outdid herself,” Sango proclaimed. “I'd bet money you'll win best costume.”

 

Inuyasha sighed in resignation.

 

“Hey everybody! You all look great!” Kagome gushed as she came back downstairs. She was dressed as a Christmas elf, in a short, red dress, trimmed in white fake fur, with a matching hat, but she also had a red forked tail coming out from under her dress, red horns sprouting from her forehead, fishnet hose, and tall, high-heeled, black leather boots. “Kikyou, can I still borrow your leather riding crop for the night? Or do you think it will be too intimidating? I really wanna get laid tonight.”

 

“Oh, I don't think you'll have any problems there. And the addition of a riding crop will only add to your…mystique,” Miroku said lasciviously, earning a swift elbow to the ribs from Sango. “What exactly are you, my dear?”

 

“Satan's Little Helper,” Kagome said. PAUSE

 

“I've always had this weird fascination with the similarities between the words Satan and Santa.” She looked at Sesshoumaru and could tell there was amusement simmering beneath the haughty disdain. She had a sudden urge to tickle him and had to remind herself that he was not his brother. PLAY

 

“I see you pulled out the Tie Me Up And Fuck Me Boots,” Kikyou commented.

 

“I figured they don't have sensible shoes in hell.” Kagome said, preening. “I'm hoping Sean will be there tonight.”

 

“That guy?” Sango asked. “I thought you said his idea of the foreplay was to say `let's go to bed.'”

 

“Yeah,” Kagome allowed, “but his voice is sooo sexy.” She turned to Inuyasha. “And you best not interfere—no more chasing off potential hook-ups”

 

Inuyasha scoffed, “God, Kagome, what's happening to you? If you mean that guy you were talking to at the Church Pew the other night, he was a total bottom feeder. These one-night-stands…you're lowering the bar with every skuzzy, greasy dirt ball—”

 

“Hey!” she interrupted. “If you are referring to my Catch And Release Policy…I know you're only trying to protect me, Yasha,” she reassured, hugging him, “but I'm fine. It's not like I'm hanging out in front of the methadone clinic.”

 

“Thank god for small mercies,” he responded, trading concerned glances with Sango.

 

“Ugh. I need to pee again,” Kikyou said. “Can we go after that?”

 

“I just talked to Kouga. He's on his way.”

 

“Not the hippy!” Inuyasha groaned. “Thank fucking god you dumped that patchouli-soaked flower child.”

 

“I didn't dump him,” Kagome protested. “I…set him down gently. If you'd get to know him you'd probably like each other.”

 

“Feh.”

 

Kikyou came back from the bathroom a moment before Kouga, dressed in black and carrying a guitar, walked in. “Ooo Kouga,” all three women and Bank cooed.

 

“I'm so glad you're coming with us. You make a great Johnny Cash!” Kagome hugged him affectionately.

 

Inuyasha looked at his clothes and shook his head. “Fuck it. Let's go.” PAUSE

 

“My drink is dry. Want another?” Kagome asked, noting that his glass was also empty.

 

They walked into the kitchen together.

 

“Kouga and I went out briefly, earlier that summer,” Kagome explained. “After the assault and ensuing depression, I was understandably petrified to date again. Kouga and Miroku were taking a BAR/BRI course together, and Kikyou knew him from volunteer work, so they set us up. To say I was gun-shy is a total understatement, and Kouga was patient and gentle with me.” She smiled softly, remembering her terror the first time they were alone together. “I had to end it after a few weeks. He was convinced we were soul mates, and after being stalked, I couldn't handle a guy who was way more into me than I was him. But he's finally moved on…after five years. I even let him kiss me last night, so he could realize he was cured of his obsession.”

 

Sesshoumaru decided not to question his happiness at hearing this news. “Obsession? Why?” he asked nonchalantly.

 

“Because of my bright personality and sparkling wit, of course,” Kagome said. “And I give really good head,” she added, voice low and sultry, before turning to take the vodka from the freezer.

 

An inopportune vibration from the cell phone in his pocket took Sesshoumaru's attention before he had a chance to process this information. “Dammit,” he cursed, looking at the number. “Kagome, I need to leave and return this in my study. It's my financial advisor calling about an overseas investment opportunity. Can we finish another time?”

 

“Oh…yeah.” She was visibly disappointed. “Can you still go to Sango's Ultimate game with us tomorrow? It'll be fun, I promise!”

 

“I look forward to it,” he replied.

 

Kagome saw him out, trying not to analyze her feelings beyond friendship.

 

&&&

 

Sorry for the crazy-long lengths of these chapters; I try to keep them under 5000 words, but fail repeatedly. I do not own Inuyasha. Also unaffiliated with Frisbee, Cling Wrap, Grey Goose, Rose's Lime, Cheech and Chong, Smart Bacon, CASA, Birkenstock, any referenced t-shirt slogans, any Matrix characters, and BAR/BRI. Thank you all so much for reading.