InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Day By Day ❯ Chapter 3 ( Chapter 3 )

Rin walked through her hut emotionless. It had been a month since her son was brutally taken from her and she still didn't feel like herself.

"I don't like those things anymore," she said as she picked up the vase the flowers were in. "It's a pity you had do the work to pick them." She threw them against the wooden frame of the doorway to her room. "Don't ever pick them again." She looked up at Sesshoumaru to show him she was serious and then walked to her bedroom.

"Rin."

She paused for a moment then continued to walk into her room and over the broken vase, leaving a trail of blood.

`I don't want you around Sesshoumaru!' she screamed to herself. `I keep telling you this and you still come. Let me die in peace! I have nothing to live for anymore. I have lost my husband and I have lost my child.' She sat down on her bed. `You killed Kohaku. You could have stayed and saved him. Instead you ran off to kill the demon. You let him die.' She lied down and looked toward the doorway. `I don't want you here. Get out!'

She saw him start to clean up the mess she made. She took off the silver bracelet and threw it at him, hitting him on his head. "Get out! I don't want you here anymore! It's all your fault! Just LEAVE!"

He stood up with the pieces of the vase. She could see he was hurt by her comments. `Good! He should be!' she thought as she closed her eyes. She could hear Sesshoumaru sweeping up the little pieces of the vase. `Why won't he just leave me alone?!'

*********

"Rin." She could feel someone shaking her awake. "Rin."

"Leave me alone," she said as she turned over keeping her eyes closed.

"No. I will not sit back and watch you slowly die anymore," said Sesshoumaru.

"I have nothing else to live for. I want to die."

"Get out of bed, Rin." Sesshoumaru turned her around, sat her up, and put her feet on the floor as she kept her eyes shut.

"Open your eyes, Rin."

She opened them but kept her head down. She noticed her feet were bandaged. "Who did this?"

"I did. Stand up Rin."

She stood up, but kept her head down.

"Put your head up. Walk with me."

She lifted her head. "Where are we going?"

"Home."

"I am home."

"This is not your home anymore, my Rin. You are coming back to live with me."

"I will not! I don't want to live with you! You…You…Killer!" She ran through the stunned crowd to the graves of her loved ones. When she got there she collapsed onto her knees and cried. The smell of her favorite flowers tried to seep through her nose and she cried harder.

"Rin. It is time to go. You can come back when you are better, but now it is time to leave."

"No," she said under her breath.

"What?"

"You heard me. No." She stood up slowly with her head facing the ground and turned around. Her hands tightened into fists on the side of her body as she looked up at Sesshoumaru and gave him a cold stare. "I don't want to go with someone who killed my child."

She started to scream as he picked her up and put her on Ah-Un and sat behind her, holding her tightly.

"Let's go Ah-Un," said Sesshoumaru as she continued to scream obscenities towards him.

*********

"LET ME GO!" Rin screamed as she kicked the sheets.

She opened her eyes. `Where am I?' she thought at her eyes focused on the objects in the room. `I know that table. I remember the feel of this bed. I'm at Sesshoumaru's castle.'

"You are up," stated a familiar voice. She looked towards the door and saw a green demon holding a tray with food and tea.

"Jaken."

"Sesshoumaru-sama wants you to eat, girl," he said gruffly.

"I am not a girl," Rin said coldly. "And I don't have to do what he says."

"You need to eat, Rin," said Sesshoumaru as he walked into her room.

"I don't have to." She got out of the bed. "I'm going."

"Where are you going to go, stupid girl?"

"JAKEN!" roared Sesshoumaru.

He ran out of the room as he cried, "Sorry, Sesshoumaru-sama."

Rin started to follow him out of the door, wanting to get away from Sesshoumaru, before he stopped her by grabbing onto her hand.

"Let…go…of…me," she said with a growl as she ripped her hand from his. She looked into his eyes. "I am going to the bathhouse. Do not follow me."

Once in the bathhouse, Rin started to think about her life so far. `My husband is dead. He was killed by a demon. My son is dead. He was killed by a demon. Why? Why does this all have to happen to me? Was it because I was in love with a demon once? Probably. I don't want to be in a demon's castle any longer, especially when that demon killed my son. I wonder…Did he kill my husband too? He probably did. He couldn't see me being happy, so he killed him.' She started to breathe deeply as the thoughts of suicide poured in her mind. `I should make him miserable like he's made me. I can do that now; getting rid of the thing he cares for the most, me. All I have to do is to go under the water and never come up. If I do that I can finally be happy because I will be with my family. That is what I will do. Your mama is coming, Kohaku!'

She put her whole body underwater and held onto a notch in the wooden basin. Her tears dissipated in the water as they left her eyes. As she shut them one last time she thought, `I'm coming home, my love.'

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"RIN!! RIN!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIN?!?!" Kohaku's voice screamed.

"I'm coming to see you!" she yelled opening her eyes to see his horrified face.

"This is not the way, Rin! I do not want to see you die!"

"I don't want to live without you and our son!"

Kohaku walked over to her and held her in his arms. "This isn't how it's supposed to be. I love you too much to see you do this to yourself. You still have much to live for."

"What?!" she pushed him away from her. "I still have much to live for?!"

He nodded. "You have Sesshoumaru to live for. You have your life with him to live for."

"I don't want him. He means nothing to me. He killed our son. Don't you realize that?" she appealed.

He stepped towards and embraced her again. "He did not. He wanted to save him. It was just too late. He loved Kohaku as much as we did. He did not want to see him die either."

She couldn't stand it anymore. She pushed away to free her hand and slapped Kohaku with all her might. "I cannot believe you are taking that demon's side!! I don't know why I wanted to be with you!!"

He just came closer as she backed away. "Rin. I love you, but I cannot see you do this to yourself. You need to wake up."

She looked up at him confused as he continued, "Wake up, Rin. Wake up…"

**********

She opened her eyes to find herself in bed again. She looked to her right side and saw Sesshoumaru facing her. He was sitting in a chair looking at her with intensity.

"Rin."

She pulled her hand from his and sat up. "Don't think I owe you anything for saving my life," she said her usual cold tone.

"Rin."

She watched him as his eyes drooped with sadness. She remembered the words from Kohaku, `You have Sesshoumaru to live for.' She squeezed her eyes shut to forget about them.

"Rin."

"Stop saying my name, youkai!"

"Get out of bed, Rin."

She looked up. He had stood up and was holding his hand for her. She batted it out of the way. "I'm not leaving."

"Rin. Get out of the bed."

She realized he wasn't going to let her stay so she slowly got out of bed. "Where are we going?"

"To the garden."

That was the last place she wanted to be right now. It only reminded her of happy times; happy times she wanted to easily forget. She reluctantly followed him out of the castle and into the garden. She looked up at the beautiful cherry trees that were in blossom. Next, her eyes went to the lovely flowers that lined the path to a bench and beyond.

"Why did you kill yourself?" Sesshoumaru spoke up, taking her away from the beauty.

"I succeeded?" He nodded. "If that was my wish, why did you bring me back?"

"You did not want to," he said walking towards the bench.

"I DID!!" she screamed watching him stop in his tracks and turn around to face her.

"That was not your wish. That has never been your wish."

She ran to him and slapped him so hard that her hand made a red mark over his purple ones. "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I WISH FOR!!"

She went to slap him again, but he stopped her by grabbing her wrist. "You have always been happy and content with your life. This is not you, Rin."

She pulled her hand out of his grip and instead of slapping him she started to hit his chest with her fists. "This is me! This is what you made me! You could have stayed and saved Kohaku! Instead you ran after the demon! I watched him die, Sesshoumaru! I watched my son die just like his father! I hate you!" She stopped hitting him and rested her arms and then her head on his chest as his arm started to wrap around her body, bringing her closer to him. She started to cry, "I hate you. I hate you. I hate you."

She stood there in his arm as her tears started to soak into his white haori. She closed her eyes. She could hear the birds sing their song of love as well as Sesshoumaru's heart beat. She started to cry harder as she realized what she had been saying to him all this time.

"Do you feel better, my Rin?"

She looked up at him and nodded. "I don't hate you, my Sesshoumaru. I am sorry for everything I have done to you."

"There is nothing you should be sorry about. It is I who should be sorry. I should have saved your son and then gone after the demon. It is my fault."

She looked at his eyes filled with regret. `He's been feeling the same way as me and I have been making him feel worse by vocalizing his regrets.' She continued to look at him as he turned his head to look out over the garden. "It's not your fault. You didn't know. I shouldn't have said all those things to hurt you. Please forgive me."

"I said it was not your fault."

"I want you to say you forgive me, Sesshoumaru."

She was still watching him as he moved his head down and looked at her. "I forgive you."

She smiled as tears gathered in her eyes again. She stretched up so she could kiss his cheek. "Thank you."

She felt his hand leave her back and she stepped away, continuing to watch the opening to his soul. Her eyes became blurry with tears and she closed them letting them drop. While her eyes were still closed she felt a finger gently wipe them away.

"Do not cry anymore, my love,"

She opened them to see Sesshoumaru looking at her with love. She knew he would never cry, but she thought she saw something fall from the corner of his left eye.

"I am not crying from pain, but from the love of my Sesshoumaru."

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A couple months later, Rin was still slowly healing with the help and love of Sesshoumaru. She looked at her right wrist and the bracelet that he gave back to her and then at the ground. `Everything is going to be all right, Kohaku, with the help of my Sesshoumaru. I have laughed. We laughed the other day about our son and what he used to call him. I started to call him that, but I don't think he likes it too much. I brought some of my favorite flowers for both of you. I love you both and I will never forget about the times we had.' She kissed the air like always and then stood up. She looked back at Sesshoumaru who had a content look on his face and joy in his eyes. Ah-Un was sleeping behind him. `I guess I took too long for him.' She smiled.

"Come on," she said taking his hand and walking up to the waking dragon. "Let's go home."

~THE END~