InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Destiny ❯ Feelings ( Chapter 5 )

Destiny - Chapter 5 - Feelings.

Sesshomaru had long ago taken his leave of the group, having had things to take care of apparently and of course not wanting to lower himself by staying with them. Rin had stayed however and was curled up sound asleep with Shippo. Although Kagome wasn't quite sure how they were managing to stay that way considering the rather heated argument that was taking place.

"You will stay away from her you wimpy wolf!!!!" Inuyasha made a fist and glared at Kouga, the wolf demon gritted his teeth and glared back just as intensely.

"She is MY WOMAN and I will protect her!" Kouga yelled back at the annoyed hanyou.

"That's my job you idiot, geez your skull is thick, I doubt there's even brain in there!" Inuyasha tapped his head as he spoke to emphasize the point to the wolf demon. " She isn't YOUR WOMAN! You WILL stay the fuck away from Kagome, do you hear me!"

"Heh a brain isn't required to fight you anyway you pathetic puppy I could kill you in my sleep!!" Kouga grinned satisfied with his last insult.

Kaede had left to pacify some villagers worried about Kouga's presence. Sango had left to check the perimeter of the village while there was still light and Miroku had tagged along with her. Kagome wished right now that she could have gone too, but something in their glances at one another had told Kagome they wished to be alone, so she had bitten down the urge to invite herself along.

Kagome glanced over at the fighting hanyou and wolf demon as she gently lifted a corner of the entrance flap to the hut. Satisfied that they were still too engrossed in fighting one another to notice her, she slipped quietly out of the hut.

The sky was a beautiful wash of oranges and red's and Kagome took a moment to enjoy it before heading as speedily away from the hut as she could. Before she knew it, she was there. Kagome sighed as she ran her hand lightly over the worn bark of the goshinboku tree, tracing the area where Inuyasha had been bound for 50 years.

She was transported back to that day 3 years previously when she had stepped into the clearing to see rays of light showing her the sleeping form of Inuyasha. The beautiful enchanted boy had made her heart skip a beat and she couldn't resist going to have a closer look, which had led to her noticing the ears and then her whole adventure had started. Had she fallen in love with him in that moment? Kagome couldn't tell, but somewhere along the line she had fallen in love with him. Of her love she was certain, but Inuyasha's were still a mystery to her.. There was something unspoken between them, but was it love?

He cared for her that much she was certain of otherwise why would he protect her so fiercely. At first it was because she was the jewel detector, but she and Inuyasha were friends, she knew she meant more to him than a simple shard detector. He thinks I'm weak! Kagome thought, that's why he protects me so fiercely. Is this the cause for his behavior regarding Kouga? she wondered. Was her merely protecting her from someone he considered to be dangerous and too much for her to handle? Or was he fighting out of jealousy and a true wish to claim her for himself?

Inuyasha had never actually said anything to indicate he wanted her in the way she wanted him, but sometimes his actions indicated he might. Kagome sighed, or was that simply her imagination reading too much into things because she wanted to be with him so badly?

She thought back to earlier in the day when Sesshomaru had referred to her as Inuyasha's woman. Kagome snorted, even after all this time, he still refused to call her by her name. Inuyasha had not corrected Sesshomaru though, he had not said she wasn't his woman. Kagome thought back over similar situations and her eyes widened in realization. Inuyasha stopped denying I was his woman a long time ago! Kagome shook her had sadly. No, that doesn't mean anything. Why do you do this to yourself Kagome, you know you can never be with him, you know you can never come between him and Kikyo. She sighed, he probably just got tired of having to repeatedly deny it. He just stopped denying it because it was easier to say nothing. She sighed sadly yet again before muttering aloud.

"I'm so stupid."

"Feh, I could have told you that!"

Kagome whirled around to see familiar amber eyes glaring at her. She studied them hard trying to gauge how angry he was with her for being out alone. She didn't have long to wait to find out.

"Stupid fucking girl, what were you thinking come out here alone? Why don't you just walk right up to Naraku and slit your throat in front of him? I swear sometimes I think you have less brains than Kouga!!" Inuyasha crossed his arms.

"Inuyasha I'm fine! Besides the point was to be able to think, something impossible in Kaede's hut with you and Kouga acting like a couple of squabbling kids! Shippo shows more maturity than you two! I honestly don't know what gets in to the pair of you!!!" Kagome yelled back at Inuyasha, unable to stop herself from getting mad at his harsh words even though she knew he was right.

"You do you stupid bitch!" Inuyasha clamped his mouth shut, shocked at his outburst, instantly feeling sorry for being so harsh with Kagome. What the hell is wrong with me? Why do I let my anger get the better of me when I'm worried about her? Why can't I just tell her I was worried about her instead of screaming at her?

Kagome stared at Inuyasha open mouthed, "Wh what do you mean I do?"

Inuyasha said nothing at first, confused by her reaction. She wasn't upset at all at being called a bitch, why wasn't she yelling at him or sitting him?

Kagome saw a flash of confusion flash on Inuyasha's face, no doubt wondering why she wasn't screaming at him. But how could she? How could she be mad at him for telling her the truth even though she didn't want to believe it. I I was right the other day, even though Sango tried to be kind and say it wasn't my fault. I am the reason Inuyasha and Kouga fight, it doesn't matter how immature they are, I am the cause!

Inuyasha sighed, "You are what gets into us Kagome, do we fight over anything else besides you?" Inuyasha looked over at Kagome after he had finished speaking eager to see her reaction to his admission that he fought with Kouga over her. Surely she will realize I fight for her because I care, he thought.

But Kagome wasn't smiling, in fact she was looking down at the ground tears beginning to form in her eyes.

"I... I knew it, I knew it was all my fault!" Kagome couldn't bring herself to look him in the eye.

Inuyasha almost cried out with frustration, how did he make her cry? How could she have taken his words this wrong? Didn't she realize how he felt about her still?

"Kagome NO! Its not your fault, its mine!" Inuyasha grabbed her by the shoulders shaking her violently, trying to make her look at him. But she refused, tears running freely down her face.

"How is it your fault Inuyasha?" she sniffed "I'm the cause for your bickering. If you didn't think that I needed protecting so much, you wouldn't feel the need to fight him. Maybe I should just agree to be his woman and then there would be no fighting.

Inuyasha pulled back, shock on his face, did Kagome really want to be Kouga's woman?

"Kagome do you really mean that, do you want to be with Kouga?" Inuyasha's heart skipped a beat waiting for Kagome to reply, sure it would never beat again if she said yes.

She finally raised her head to look at him, Inuyasha breathed a sigh of relief, she was shaking her head. "No" she sighed. "No I don't want to be his woman, I never have and I never will. All I can ever offer Kouga is my friendship."

'Feh, that's too much of you ask me." Inuyasha grunted, happy that Kagome didn't want to be Kouga's woman, but not too happy of the fact she had no problem being friends with him.

Inuyasha suddenly remembered Kagome's words. "Kagome, why do you think I think you're weak?"

Kagome bit her lip slightly before replying, her tears didn't fall as fast now, but some still escaped her eyes. "Well, you've often told me in the past that I'm weak, and... and why else would you fight Kouga? If not to protect me because you think I'm too weak to handle him?"

"Feh, Shippo could handle that wimpy wolf! Kagome you idiot I don't think your weak!" Inuyasha gave Kagome a warm look to prove he meant his words.

"You.. you don't? Kagome looked at him confused. "Then, why do you fight him?" Kagome searched Inuyasha's face frantically, every sense on alert ready to hear his answer. Will it be the answer I'm hoping for? Her heart raced waiting earnestly for the answer to a question Kagome had been asking herself for a long time. Did Inuyasha love her?

"You idiot? You still haven't figured it out? I don't fight with Kouga because I think your weak you stupid girl, I fight with him because I love you!"

Kagome looked at Inuyasha sharply in shock at hearing the words she'd been waiting to hear for so long. Her brain was desperately trying to determine whether she'd actually heard Inuyasha say he loved her, or if she'd just imagined him saying it.

Inuyasha stared back at Kagome, his heart racing. He remembered how he'd vowed to tell her how he'd felt about her. But he hadn't wanted to do it like this. How did it always come to this with Kagome, why did he always have to fight with her and get her upset? Why couldn't he just tell her everything he'd been thinking and feeling about her for so long now?

His heart raced, he realized it had been a few minutes since he'd spoken and she hadn't said anything, she was still standing there staring at him in shock. Her tears had stopped though, that was good right? Wha... what if she didn't return his feelings?

Inuyasha's heart sank at that thought only to find one more terrifying and painful. What if she did? What if she did love him in return? They could never be together, he had his promise to Kikyo to keep. Inuyasha inwardly cursed himself, what had he done? He should never have admitted how he felt about her. If she loved him he had condemned her to the pain of never being able to be with the one who loved her. It would have been easier for her to go back and live without him if she didn't know how he felt about her. She would be more hurt this way. Inuyasha cursed his selfishness and looked over at Kagome, noting her gaze was no longer directed at his face, but at his neck. He looked down to the ground, she couldn't look me in the eye, she doesn't love me! Then, then I haven't hurt her, but wait, Kagome doesn't love me, she doesn't.....

Inuyasha's broke free of his thoughts, raising his eyes in surprise as he felt the familiar weight of the prayer beads being lifted from around his neck. He looked at them resting in Kagome's hand before turning his shocked gaze on her face, she was smiling.

"Inuyasha, I love you too."