InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Destroyed Happiness ❯ Destroyed Happiness 2 ( Chapter 2 )

 

Destroyed happiness

 

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Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, and I do not make money off my stories.

 

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A/N: I'm anxious to see how you respond to this chapter :) Keep in mind that the next chapters may surprise you. Also, I want to thank you for reviewing and telling me your opinion on whether or not you think I should write a second chapter. So here it is: the second chapter.

 

Honestly, I hadn't meant for it to be like this, but it just happened. It might be cliché, but it's MY version of a cliché, so...

 

Now I'm thinking of expanding it. Actually, I'm sure I'll write more than 3 chapters for it.

 

And to answer to elektrik buzz's review…well, who said they had mutual friends? :) They met, married, and only afterwards started having mutual friends.

 

And to answer koinu lover's review, he entered the relationship with Kagome because he fell in love with her when he was still married to Kikyou. He wanted to end his marriage with Kikyou, but that doesn't always work out smoothly. That's why Kikyou said he was desperate to end it with her. She was confused, even though she knew things didn't work out between them anymore, and she probably stalled for a while, too. That's why it took about a year for him to get divorced. There probably wasn't a doubt in his mind that things would work out with Kagome.

 

~*~*~*~

 

It was funny how days seemed to develop into weeks then into months that eventually became years. Three years.

 

The lake was as still and peaceful as it always had been, and Inuyasha was very grateful for that. He couldn't survive more drama, more anxiety. His heart had always been a frail thing, but now more than ever.

 

At least he couldn't cry anymore. Three years and his life had found a bit of peace at last. Even if it wasn't the kind of peace he had desperately wished for all this time, it was a tranquil serenity that had taken over everything of his life. But he couldn't call it peace. Not yet. There were still many steps to be taken, but he couldn't bring himself to do anything more than work and revisit this place that had been their sanctuary.

 

It was Sunday, and Sundays had always been the days he'd look forward to. He could clearly remember every single detail of his wife. His real wife. The one that had set him free.

 

Kagome…

 

They would spend their weekends together, doing nothing ore than loving each other in every way possible. It was something unbelievable, the chemistry between them. He'd felt it when he'd met her and had felt it every day spent together with her from that day.

 

Only now he wouldn't feel it anymore.

 

Sometimes, he wished for tears. He wanted to cry, to sob his soul out so he wouldn't hurt this much. But he'd already done that, countless times in the first two years. It was hard for him now; hard to be aware that he'd come to terms with this state of mind he was constantly in, but not with the situation. He wasn't glad, but he wasn't devastated, either. He just was. It was a neutral feeling, one that sometimes soothed him, sometimes destroyed him.

 

He hadn't even tried to make excuses for what he'd done, because it was something that just wasn't worthy of forgiveness.

 

Kikyou was married now and he was vaguely glad for her. He'd wronged her, too, and now she led a pleasant, happy life with the man she really loved.

 

Listening to the wind whisper soothing nothingness, Inuyasha threw a pebble in the water and watched it turn into a ripple that grew and expanded, enveloping every fragment of serenity the lake possessed. It was all about undulating waves now, the stillness having become a thing of the past until it would all stop. Like a circle.

 

A circle that would never end. His pathetic life.

 

There were times when he wondered how it would be like when he died. He doubted his half brother would be present at his funeral, but then... who would be left to bury him?

 

He'd run away from his friends when his life had come tumbling down along with Kagome's departure and their divorce. Now it was all about work and this little cottage by the lake that brought him so many memories, bittersweet ones.

 

How his charming Kagome would wake up in the morning and find him in this same place, on the deck looking at the lake, and bring him a mug of hot chocolate. Their every vacation had been spent here, with as much happiness as two people could have.

 

Now it was only he who religiously came to the same cottage every weekend to reminisce the most blissful years of his life.

 

The world was beautiful and full of life, but without Kagome, nothing impressed him anymore. He remembered her awe whenever she saw a butterfly spread its wings, and he remembered his own amazement at the exchange between both pure creatures.

 

Anymore, there was nothing that made him tremble with wonder.

 

Kagome had moved on, that much he knew for certain. She was married. That's what her best friend had told him a year before.

 

For two years Ayumi had purposefully ignored him, and it had probably been for the best. He couldn't imagine her reaction if he'd talked to her sooner, because even after two years she'd seemed angry as hell.

 

He'd called her for the umpteenth time, in hopes of hearing something about Kagome. Anything.

 

She'd yelled at him and hung up, but he'd been relentless. He'd called her back again, and let her lash out at him, knowing that he deserved it.

 

Her voice had been strained and hoarse, quivering with suppressed ire, but her words had torn him apart. “Kagome is getting married with a man that loves her and will never hurt her,” she'd told him grimly with an almost sadistic pleasure coating every uttered syllable. Then she'd hung up again, but he hadn't bothered calling her back this time.

 

That knowledge had broken the last pieces of his heart, and now it was all scattered throughout memory lane, the only place where he could be himself again.

 

She was remarried. His Kagome belonged to another man, a man who would give her the children she'd always wanted with him. The children he'd always wanted to have with her, as well.

 

That most lucky man would be blessed with the chance of having Kagome's unconditional love, feeling her heavenly body against him every night. Those images tormented Inuyasha, but he knew he deserved them. Deserved every moment of pain he had inflicted upon himself.

 

At first, he hadn't thought that what he'd done was that condemnable, but years of thinking and analyzing had made him see things in a different light. In the right light.

 

Intentionally, Ayumi had hurt him in the worst possible way, but he could deal with it. For Kagome's happiness, he would deal with it.

 

He wondered, did she love that man more than she'd loved him? Did they have children? Did that man know her ankles were most sensitive? Did he take good care of her?

 

Life wasn't paradise, it wasn't even pleasant; but then again, it wasn't supposed to.

 

~*~*~*~

 

Kagome looked up at the sky and smiled. Her life had turned out to be unexpectedly sweet and enjoyable. The nightmare she'd lived for a while had turned into a fairy tale when her child had arrived into this world. The little girl was almost identical to her mother, and still so young… her little Aiko was her most precious treasure.

 

But there were grim times in her paradise, as well. Times when she wished she couldn't feel. Dreadful times when all she wanted was to be unable to remember.

 

It had been four years and it still hadn't gotten easier. It had just gotten more bearable. The pain Inuyasha had caused her had been dulled over the time, but it was still present, still nagging at the back of her mind whenever she had darker moments. But now she had a family. Whenever she was sad, her little Aiko would smile and she'd smile, as well.

 

Holding her umbrella, she rummaged through the bag with her free hand, desperate to pick up the phone that was blaring through her thoughts.

 

The raindrops drummed against the umbrella, but it felt like they were throbbing inside her mind, against her very brain cells. It was both soothing and frustrating.

 

Having grabbed the phone, she flipped it open and held it to her ear.

 

“Yes?”

 

She hurried, anxious to get home to Aiko. She never let her alone during weekends, it was like a ritual of theirs.

 

“Do you have any idea what time it is?”

 

Oh. She'd almost forgotten Ayumi had things to do, too. Kagome was often reluctant to let Ayumi take care of Aiko when she needed someone to. She loved her best friend dearly, but she seriously lacked patience.

 

“I'm coming, Ayumi. Wait just a few minutes. Why? Has something happened?”

 

Her nervousness was obvious, and Ayumi instantly got defensive.

 

“Calm down, girl. I can only say she too damn tame. She should be trashing the apartment right now.”

 

“I taught her well. If it had been your child, she would have set the place on fire by now,” Kagome teased, knowing how horrified Ayumi was of having kids. One look at Aiko and she was already scrambling away from the whole concept.

 

“Tell Aiko mommy loves her,” Kagome said with a docile voice, smiling warmly.

 

Her friend scoffed through the phone, “Pff… as if you don't tell her enough daily.”

 

Kagome couldn't help but smile at the drastic turn the horrible events had taken. She was content now. Unpredictably, she had been given a second chance at happiness. She had everything she could possibly wish for in her situation. In her shoes, who wouldn't think life was paradise?

 

~*~*~*~

 

“Idiot,” his half brother intoned, “do not ruin the dinner. Rin is here.”

 

Sesshomaru was a pain in the ass. Sesshomaru was always a pain in the ass. He had invited Inuyasha for dinner, despite every protest the man had began to utter, and it was he who was bitching now. What had he expected? That Inuyasha would come smiling and play with Rin just like old times?

 

He hadn't seen his niece for a few years and it was natural that she'd miss her favorite uncle (her only one, at that) but he couldn't help it. He wasn't in the mood for playing with kids, especially when he was aware that Kagome probably had some of her own.

 

Come to think of it, how was it that Sesshomaru had ended up adopting Rin anyway? On a daily basis, the almighty businessman acted like he hated all humans, never minding the fact that he was human, himself.

 

The girl ate silently, throwing occasional glances at Inuyasha, who was feeling guiltier and guiltier.

 

Sighing deeply, he stood up and coaxed Rin into showing him her new toys. It hadn't required much persuasion, since the girl was as willing as ever, and he'd resolutely ignored his brother's ever so solemn way of telling them they had not yet finished their food.

 

He was good with children, Kagome had told him that countless times while watching him interact with his niece, but now he'd never have the chance to play with his own child. He refused to see other women, despite the fact that he knew Kagome had chosen another life, one with another man.

 

The only woman he wanted was no longer available, so he just had to suck it up.

 

Smiling when Rin excitedly told him how she got her father to buy her the most expensive Barbie toy in town, Inuyasha felt slightly jealous of his older brother. That man was the ultimate prick, yet he had a child he obviously cared for. It didn't matter that he didn't have a woman by his side; the asshole didn't need one. He didn't want one. Sesshomaru probably had countless chicks he fucked with no strings attached, but in the end, Rin would always give him all the love in the world.

 

Instead, Inuyasha had nothing of the sort. His only company was his own misery, who seemed to be quite attached to him.

 

Ruffling the girl's hair, he watched her pout cutely and wrinkle her nose.

 

“I spent hours on my hair, uncle. Stop that,” she whined, trying to get her childish hairdo, which consisted of two very asymmetrical pigtails. Rin was probably a bit too childish for her age, but he couldn't blame her. And even though she was spoiled beyond reason, she wasn't a bad girl. She was as obedient as someone would ever want their child to be, without seeming traumatized.

 

Perhaps over the years the pain would go away. Maybe he could find his utter peace.

 

Maybe Miroku would teach him how to meditate.

 

~*~*~*~

 

Her daily schedule was pretty simple: go to work, work, come back from work, and spend time with her family.

 

Kagome had managed to get a job that didn't keep her from spending some good hours at home, or better said, in the park, her daughter's favorite place in the `whole, wide world'.

 

Aiko was four already, and she was very active. In other words, she was normal. She didn't know what pain was, and if Kagome had any say in it, she never would.

 

She quickly scanned the area and was satisfied to see it was safe for Aiko to play in the sand there.

 

“Mommy, I want to see Aunt Ayumi later.”

 

Kagome chuckled in amusement. Ayumi played her part well in front of Aiko, but truth was, she wasn't at all into kids. To bring Aiko to her daily would be torture for her best friend.

 

“Sorry honey, Aunt Ayumi has stuff to do and we can't disturb her.”

 

It was an innocent lie, not at all like Inuyasha's lie had been. His had stretched and spread into something too big to be left unnoticed. Too great to be forgiven. As deep as her love for him had been, she hadn't been able to find it in her to forgive him. For all she knew, he could have been screwing Kikyou all that time.

 

She'd seen Kikyou two years before. She was married and happy. She couldn't have children, but that didn't stop her from adopting two beautiful twins. The woman wasn't unpleasant to be around, and Kagome vaguely wondered what it was Inuyasha had seen in her and not in Kikyou. Maybe it was her ability to drive him mad at times? She knew that had been a terrible turn on for him.

 

And how was his life? The first and last time she'd tried to talk to him after their divorce had been after a year, but he'd been nowhere to be found. Maybe he moved away. Away from her, away from his world.

 

Maybe he was married now. Or perhaps he didn't even bother to get married again, what with where doing that twice brought him. Maybe his new wife gave him children, and maybe, maybe they were happy together. A big, happy family. She cringed for just an instant.

 

There was so much Kagome didn't know, but there was also a great deal of things she didn't want to know. She was just content to wonder.

 

~*~*~*~

 

“I told you I'd pick up Rin from school. What do you think I am, an idiot?” Inuyasha yelled through the phone, annoyed that his brother didn't think he'd remember to pick up his own niece when he'd promised.

 

“You should never ask me rhetorical questions, brother, or I will be inclined to answer and you may not like it,” the stoic businessman replied, no trace of emotion in his words.

 

“Yeah, well, I love you too dickhead,” Inuyasha muttered through the speaker, loud enough for his brother to hear.

 

“You had better not talk like this in front of my daughter, otherwise I will make sure you won't ever be able to say such words again. In fact, I will make sure you will never be able to say any words again.”

 

The empty threat didn't faze Inuyasha at all. He was used to it. And it even seemed that after so many years he was finally on the right side of the path to a pleasant life. A life without hurtful thoughts. He was starting to cope with his pain, and it was relieving. It showed in the way he acted, and his brother had told him as much, which had surprised him a great deal. Sesshomaru was not one to show emotions, except in front of his own daughter when they were alone, but he'd told Inuyasha he was glad to see him improving.

 

“If you are a minute late, you know what to expect,” Sesshomaru stated before hanging up.

 

Annoyed, Inuyasha increased his steps. He would be early, but at least he'd make sure he'd have time to spot Rin when she came out.

 

The sidewalks were always crowded, but something made him stop dead in his tracks.

 

A few feet in front of him was Kagome. Kagome, his ex wife. Kagome, the woman he still loved more than his own life. And Kagome had a daughter.

 

There was no trace of a doubt. That little child whose hand Kagome held and who kept tugging at her sleeves was Kagome's. Same eyes, same hair color… same cute nose.

 

A sharp pain shot through him and almost brought him to his knees. His first reaction was to try and walk away from the sight, but something kept him still. He watched Kagome's trademark roll of the eyes as they both stopped to buy an ice-cream.

 

She had a child. Kagome had a child… a girl. She'd always wanted a girl, he could remember. And whoever the lucky bastard was, he'd given her one.

 

After paying, the still gorgeous woman crouched next to her daughter and refused to give her the ice-cream until she'd receive a kiss. It didn't take long, however, until the cute girl placed a sloppy kiss on her mother's cheek then hurried to grab the ice-cream and devour it.

 

Kagome's smile was brilliant and it did funny things to Inuyasha's stomach. He could clearly remember when she would smile at him with such love and adoration.

 

Lowering his gaze, he thrust his hands in his pockets and started walking, hoping she wouldn't see him or recognize him. After all, he'd changed many things about his appearance. His hair was short now, unlike the shoulder blades-long hair he'd used to have on Kagome's constant persistence, and he was skinnier.

 

Not daring to raise his gaze and see how happy she was even though that was what he wanted for her, he tried to occupy his mind with thoughts of Rin and what to buy her for her upcoming birthday.

 

However, a familiar, sweet noise reached his ears as he pushed past his love and managed to halt his actions.

 

“Inu…yasha?”

 

Her voice had been so meek that he wondered how he was able to hear it, but he knew. He knew that no matter what, he was most aware of her. After all, she was his half. But the thing was, he wasn't hers anymore.

 

Turning around ever so slowly, he inspected her widened eyes and the curious gaze of the angel holding her hand.

 

Stuttering and seemingly afraid of something, Kagome introduced her daughter, Aiko.

 

He smiled at the girl; she was charming, as her mother was. Even though he knew that in other circumstances he would have been jealous of this adorable girl, he couldn't help but like her very much. If she was anything like her mother, then she would surely grow up to be a brilliant woman.

 

For just an instant, he wished he could be the girl's father and at Kagome's side.

 

“It's… nice to see you. To see you've moved on,” he said awkwardly, desperately trying to avoid scratching his nape as was his custom when he felt uncomfortable, so she wouldn't know it. But he knew it was useless, because she knew him better than that. But the question was, did she still know him? Had she forgotten him? Had she forgiven him?

 

`Probably not.'

 

Kagome's eyes shot down to her daughter, then back up at him. The action had been so fast he'd been an instant away from missing it.

 

“Oh,” she said, her voice low and… nervous? Well, she had every reason to be nervous.

 

“We don't have to do this,” he said slowly, the unmistakable sign of something wet pricking at the corners of his eyes. Of all the times to cry… `Why the Hell now?'

 

Desperate not to let her see it, he averted his eyes and breathed deeply. He hadn't cried in ages; the pain had been somewhat dulled, but now everything came back. The torment, the anguish. He couldn't stand it. Especially here, with the living proof that Kagome had indeed moved on.

 

“Goodbye, Kagome,” he said with a low voice and turned to leave.

 

“Wait,” she shouted after him, making him stop once more.

 

He heard her heels on the sidewalk. She was walking towards him, the girl in tow. Kagome loved high heels, and she was as gracious as a mermaid in them.

 

“How are you?” she asked, and there could be no misunderstanding. She wanted to know what his life was like now.

 

He wanted to tell her he was devastated, he wanted to let her know how much he missed her and how empty he was without her. He wanted to tell her he'd never be able to move on, but he couldn't. He wouldn't. Instead, he'd make her believe he was okay.

 

Inuyasha knew Kagome. Even if she didn't still love him, there was no way she wanted something bad to happen to him. She just didn't want him in her life anymore.

 

“I'm…” He stopped, not knowing what word to use. Okay? That would make her believe he was lying. Spectacular? Pff, too damn cheesy. “…great.”

 

He turned around, watching her doubtful expression and knew she was having a hard time deciding if he was lying or not. Apparently, he had been convincing enough that she let it drop. He continued, hoping to offer a subject they could approach.

 

“I was just going to school to pick up…”

 

“Oh,” Kagome interrupted, her gaze connecting with the ground.

 

“No, let me finish. To pick up my niece.”

 

Her eyes connected with his, hopeful, smiling. “Rin?”

 

“Yes,” he replied with a nod.

 

“How is she? How is Sesshomaru?”

 

“Never better,” he told her with a smile of his own. It was true. His niece was turning out to be a wonderful girl, and Sesshomaru had mellowed a bit. Only a tiny bit, but it was still surprising.

 

“I'm glad,” she said warmly.

 

He noticed Aiko was very quiet. Maybe she didn't feel comfortable around strangers, or maybe she didn't like the fact that a man that wasn't her father was talking to her mother like he knew her inside-out.

 

“I'd better go,” Inuyasha said, “or else Sesshomaru will have my head. I'm supposed to bring Rin home on time.”

 

“Oh,” he heard Kagome say, but he couldn't tell if that was disappointment he could hear in her voice. “In that case…” She let her words hang in the air between them.

 

“Yeah… Goodbye Kagome, bye Aiko,” he said, his voice sounding funny even to him.

 

Not waiting for them to respond since he could feel his tears resurfacing, Inuyasha crossed the street and wished he was dead.

 

`Aiko… love child… so Kagome is happy and has found love once again. I'm… glad for her.'