InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Destroyed Happiness ❯ Destroyed Happiness 5 ( Chapter 5 )

Destroyed happiness

 

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Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, and I do not make money off my stories.

 

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A/N: I'm going to explain a few things first. I spent a lot of time wondering how Inuyasha should react to the news, and this is what I decided. While some of you will probably be disappointed - maybe having expected something more... drastic - it just seemed a lot more realistic this way. I tried to put myself in their shoes, and while I know each one has valid reasons to be extremely hostile towards each other, this is the conclusion I have: Kagome has had quite some time to reflect on what she's done, even though she is still hurt by Inuyasha's betrayal - therefore, she is experiencing mixed feelings: on one hand she feels really guilty for not having insisted, and on the other hand she is bitter towards Inuyasha for the thing with Kikyou; likewise, Inuyasha feels guilty for not having told her about his marriage to Kikyou, but at the same time, angry that she didn't let him know about Aiko.

 

So... I guess that in a way they are both trying not to be too hostile towards the other, realizing their own mistakes, but quite unable not.

 

Btw… lots and lots and lots of thanks for your reviews. Well, that being said, enjoy :)

 

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The sound of shattered grass filled the apartment and Kagome flinched. Appalled, she watched as crimson blood trickled down Inuyasha's hand, coating his long, slender fingers, and yet he didn't move. There wasn't a single twitch on his impassive face as he openly stared at her, seemingly searching her entire soul through her waiting eyes. His eyes were dilated and cold - he was clearly drunk, but not so that he wouldn't be able to make a rational decision. In fact, it almost seemed like he'd sobered up - while Kagome had immediately realized that he'd subjected himself to alcohol and that was partly the reason behind his cold demeanor, she could clearly notice he seemed more clear-headed now.

 

She supposed it could have been a much worse reaction; so far he'd just clenched the glass to destruction. But the unreadable expression on his face blatantly told her there was more to come.

 

“Get out,” he rasped, his voice resolute. Her first hurt response would have been giving him a piece of her mind, but something prevented her from doing it. She felt somewhat irritated that he was being so unreasonable. `Unreasonable?! You kept his child away from him!' her mind seemed to counter. Without protesting, she nodded and turned on her heels to exit the apartment, although unable to hide her disappointment. She'd hoped she would be able to make him see things her way; he had, after all, betrayed her, and she had tried to tell him.

 

“Wait,” he demanded just as she was about to leave, and she stopped. Not bothering to turn around, she merely listened to what she had to say. “What kind of a person are you?” he snapped venomously - she could almost feel the poison in his words. Truth was, she didn't know. Not anymore. To some extent, she had disappointed herself. “I don't know you,” he said next, his icy, hateful words bringing tears to her eyes. Kagome swallowed thickly before shaking her head. Slowly, fearful of looking him in the eye, she moved towards the door.

 

“You're being harsh,” she said weakly, frustrated to feel wetness at the corners of her eyes. His hollow laughter didn't help, either. “Harsh?!” he inquired and she nodded. For what it was worth, “I did try to tell you all those years ago. I called and…” He narrowed his eyes when she trailed off. “No, you didn't,” he stated grimly. She couldn't have. If it were so, then how come he hadn't heard from her?

 

“Yes. Yes, I did,” she countered, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. “It wasn't my intention to keep your daughter from you, but I thought… I thought you'd moved on with your life,” she confessed.

 

He found it very, very hard to believe her. This was the woman he loved with all his heart, but this was also the woman that had destroyed him forever. Why should he believe her? Just because she was Kagome and Kagome never lied? Everyone lies, he reminded himself. By now she had turned around again and was openly gazing at him with her big, expressive eyes and he found it increasingly difficult to breathe.

 

“You are really something else, coming here and feeding me all these lies, when in fact you've taken me away from the only person I can say belongs to me now,” he said with a low growl, his voice gradually raising, “How the hell is this supposed to make me feel?! I,” he declared almost a breath away from her, “have lost precious years of my daughter's life. You're the most vicious woman, did you know that?”

 

She stomped her foot indignantly, making a huffing sound, which threw him off for a moment. This was a gesture that was purely Kagome; he could remember every distinctive time she had done the same thing in the past, when they'd been married. “Who are you to talk to me about viciousness, you cruel bastard? Weren't you the one secretly seeing your ex wife behind my back? Weren't you the one who cheated on your first wife? What kind of man does that, huh?!” she yelled in his face, resisting the urge to grab him by the hair and pull on it until his head hurt. He was so infuriating!

 

“The kind of man that fucking loves you, bitch!” he retorted, his nail suddenly digging into her shoulder. She snorted noisily at his remark, clearly showing her disbelief. “Yeah,” she mocked, “you loved me so much that you didn't see fit to tell me you were married? Oh, and let me tell you another one. You met with your wife while we were married, and she clearly saw it as a date! It can't get more obvious than that!” she shouted, tears falling freely on her cheeks, but her voice was abnormally normal.

 

“Not loved you, woman; love you. Did you think I could forget you just like that? What the hell do you take me for?” he scolded, shaking some sense into her, before he added snappily, “And it wasn't a date!” The words and actions made her lightheaded, but she stood her ground.

 

“Don't give me that,” she groaned, “You're the perfect liar. You've lied to me for… for how long? Too much, Inuyasha, too damn much.” She sighed. “You shouldn't be angry at me, because if anything, you deserved it. And besides, I did try to reach you.”

 

That again. He narrowed his eyes again. She kept saying that. “And why couldn't you?” he asked, this time truthfully intrigued by her answer.

 

Kagome, however, didn't really want to tell him she had spoken to Sesshomaru and he hadn't told Inuyasha about it. She knew how fragile the relationship between Inuyasha and his brother was and had always been, and she didn't want to ruin it further. But Sesshomaru was a fully grown man, wasn't he? He could explain to Inuyasha his reasoning.

 

Averting her eyes, Kagome muttered something that resembled Sesshomaru's name. “What?” Inuyasha asked, genuinely confused.

 

“I said, Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru answered and said you were away. I didn't ask where and he didn't offer to tell me, so I figured you had left to forget everything about that chapter of your life,” she explained.

 

Inuyasha was suffering a severe internal battle. On the one hand he wanted to strangle his brother, but on the other hand, he couldn't help but have mixed feelings about this whole situation. He wanted to believe Kagome, but it hurt. She'd made him suffer so much, but this took the cake. He wanted to enjoy the knowledge that he and Kagome had created something so pure, something so fragile and cute, Aiko, but even this was stolen from him. He couldn't help but feel bitterness towards the woman that held his heart.

 

He finally settled for a sickened, “How convenient.” She seemed to have expected his scoff as she merely shrugged.

 

“Believe what you want,” she huffed, moving away from him and wrapping her arms around herself. The way she looked through the window, it awoke something within him, something he had deemed long lost. Her eyes spoke of her exhaustion, her skin seemed to scream for his touch. There was a constant battle inside him, his mind fighting against the pull of his heart. Kagome sighed, resigned. “What was I supposed to do? Desperately look for you all over the world so you can come lie to me again? I'm sorry Inuyasha, but life doesn't work that way,” she said, shaking her head miserably. All the pain she'd felt since she'd discovered his betrayal, it was all coming back and she was helplessly facing it.

 

Inuyasha couldn't decide if she was being truthful or not. This was the Kagome he'd always known and loved. She sounded so sincere, so tired of all this nonsense, but why should he believe her? She hadn't believed him when he'd said he hadn't cheated on her. A relationship always required trust above all, but she hadn't given that to him. They weren't in a relationship anymore, and she still didn't trust him. She didn't believe his words, no matter how much he tried.

 

“You know,” he said, “it's the same thing. You didn't believe me, so why should I believe you? For all I know, you've never really called Sesshomaru.”

 

“Because I don't lie.” was her simple answer, to which he furrowed his brow.

 

“I did it to protect you,” he argued breathlessly, genuinely believing his own words. He hadn't wanted her to know about Kikyou, hadn't wanted her to go through the ordeal that had been his divorce so they could be together. He had struggled alone, desperately trying to end his first marriage so he could move on with the love of his life. And all along, he had tried to protect her from the sheer knowledge. However, it seemed like the plan had backfired on him.

 

“Protect me how?” she asked, scrunching her nose as she analyzed him from toes to head. She couldn't believe he was even saying this. Protect her?!

 

“Would you have still fought for our love if you knew how hard it was for me to get my divorce? Would you have wanted me if you knew I was already married? Tell me, Kagome, would you have been there for me whenever Kikyou refused to grant me my divorce and tried to get me back despite our lack of positive feelings for each other?” he accused, gritting his teeth.

 

“How selfish of you,” Kagome muttered spitefully, unwilling to meet his eyes. Her last comment surprised him and he found himself staring at her back as she moved to leave the apartment. Time stood still. There were many words behind her statement that remained unspoken. How selfish of him not to trust her, not to want to share with her. How selfish of him to fear her leaving him. How selfish of him to dare not tell her he'd been married. But even so, he knew he deserved a second chance.

 

Without thinking much, he grabbed her elbow and spun her around, almost holding her in the confines of his arms. He felt like killing her and hugging her for all she was worth at the same time, and he had a hard time separating the feelings and deciding to act on one specific impulse rather than on the other. For a moment he was tempted to swear to himself to never drink again.

 

But all thoughts vanished when his mind finally agreed with the rapidly whispered song of his heart. He wanted to know. He wanted to know if things could ever work for them again. He had no idea if she loved him anymore; all he knew was that he wished with all his heart that he could forgive her and that she could forgive him. He had to find out if he could keep trying. If it was worth the struggle.

 

Not letting her protest, he dipped his head and pressed his lips against her gently at first, then demandingly, coaxing her mouth open so he could taste her. His heart skipped a beat when she moaned against his lips, adding a delicious pleasure to the passionate kiss they were sharing. Something deep inside him warned him not to take it further, but he ignored everything. He moved his hand to cup the side of her neck, tilting her head so the angle offered him a deeper invasion. Thankfully, Kagome was brought back to her senses when she realized what she'd allowed him to do and stopped the kiss, breathlessly pulling away from him.

 

It was a mistake, she kept telling herself. Even as she left the apartment without looking back and without being held back, Kagome clung to the sole thought that the kiss had been just that: a mistake. Now if only she could believe it…

 

………….

 

Sesshomaru grunted. That stupid woman! But he couldn't honestly blame her. He had expected her to tell his brother he had spoken to her years ago when she'd found out she was pregnant. Now Inuyasha was inconsolable. Sesshomaru was quite certain it had nothing to do with his brotherly betrayal, but with the knowledge that he had been denied the chance to see his daughter grow at his wife's side. And Kagome wasn't Inuyasha's wife anymore, too.

 

It usually wasn't in the businessman's vocabulary, but Sesshomaru had swallowed his never-ending pride and apologized to his brother for the inconvenience caused. He was aware of how his silence had affected the younger man, and he regretted that now. However, as much as the present revolved around the past, there was nothing to be done so he could mend it. He could only feel guilty and sorry.

 

In his alcohol-induced haze Inuyasha seemed a bit mad, now that Sesshomaru thought about it. One minute he would smile at the thought of having a daughter, and the other he'd curse Kagome's prolonged silence. Then he would insist it wasn't her fault before deciding it actually was. This was one of the reasons Sesshomaru never liked being around Inuyasha when he drank. He was too confusing, too desolated, and the businessman always felt unable to help.

 

“You should better sleep,” Sesshomaru suggested, his voice just a tad bit demanding. Inuyasha wrinkled his nose, frowning deeply. He didn't seem to have heard him. Instead, he downed another glass of whatever he was drinking and this time it was Sesshomaru's time to scrunch his nose. How Inuyasha was not yet in a coma, it was beyond him. And still, he looked fairly sober for someone who'd drunk as much as he had. Talked rather coherently, too.

 

“Shee shtill loves me,” Inuyasha drawled, almost letting his head collide with the table, as he was unable to hold it straight much longer.

 

Sesshomaru's eyes widened at the confession; what did Inuyasha mean by that? Did she tell him that herself?

 

“I kissed her,” Inuyasha explained simply, as if he understood his brother's confusion. “I'm… s-sure she loves me.”

 

Something unexpected happened then. Sesshomaru's eyes softened and, even though Inuyasha didn't see it, they flashed a look of pity to the younger, miserable brother. Was Inuyasha trying to grasp a thread of hope and hang onto it like a lifeline? Was that it? Or had he imagined everything so it would be easier for him?

 

It wasn't a secret to Sesshomaru that Kagome did still love Inuyasha, but the woman seemed unable to forgive him. Maybe in time… but on second thought, he still couldn't imagine Kagome willingly coming back to Inuyasha to live a happily ever after life with him. The woman had her principles and her pride; besides, their trust issues were obvious to any eyes-possessing individual by now. They had nearly destroyed their lives. And if that wasn't something to deter them, then the thing with Aiko surely was. Inuyasha couldn't seem to decide if Kagome spoke the truth or if she really wanted to hide Aiko from him.

 

Sesshomaru couldn't really blame Kagome for anything, even though her actions had hurt his brother so much. From her point of view, what Inuyasha had done to her really seemed unforgivable; but then, where was the ever forgiving, gentle girl Inuyasha had introduced to Sesshomaru so many years ago? It seemed that she could find excuses for anyone except her husband. But this was understandable, as well. She'd placed her whole trust in this man that had ultimately lied to her. Naturally, her self-defense mechanism had reacted, not letting her try and work things out because of the pain.

 

It all seemed complicated to Sesshomaru. Had he been in Inuyasha's shoes - not that that could ever happen - he'd have forcefully made his woman stay until he'd explained to her his reasoning and made her understand and accept it as well, as long as he was innocent. But Inuyasha wasn't like that. He was a lot weaker, always afraid of rejection for some reason.

 

The businessman watched as Inuyasha's brow furrowed in distress for the umpteenth time - it didn't take a genius to figure out what the cause was. Or rather, who the cause was. But despite how convinced he was of it being otherwise, Sesshomaru still hoped Inuyasha could get his happy ending.

 

Only because he's been annoying me for too long.