InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Difference between Wanting and Needing ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )

A/N: Naraku is kinda different in this. I just see Naraku in fics always an asshole from the beginning, well this one isn't a complete ass from the start but things may change.

Difference between Wanting and Needing

Chapter 1

Her watch glowed 6:58 AM as she stepped foot into her house. There was on one home. It was late; her mom was at work and Souta had already left for school. Even though she was all alone she still walked quietly through her house.

Her place wasn't big; in fact it was just one story, just enough room for each person to have their own space. Her own room was located at the back of the house, away from everything. Just the way she wanted it. Not because she wanted to alienate herself but because being away from the other rooms meant she wouldn't have to worry as much about being overheard talking to anyone.

She retreated to her room and put down her purse. She started rummaging through her drawers for parts of her uniform. I should really put this stuff together before I leave. She truly doubted being on time for Sango. She turned to go to the shower but stopped herself remembering something of importance; she turned back to her purse.

Before she could even take her shower she had something to do. She started dumping things out of her purse looking for her memento. Ever since the eve of her 16th birthday, when her whole life of endless pursuit had begun, she had always taken a memento from the guy. Anything she could get in her hands that had belonged to them. It didn't matter what; a shirt, a bracelet, an earring even a book would do as long as it looked used. It was her own personal charm bracelet, each object signifying a conquest; someone she had taken. Each one held its own personal memory of those weeks; the journey she had taken to get him.

Where is it?Kagome had taken a brown leather headband of Kouga's. She had snuck it in her purse when he had gone to the bathroom. It was worn and looked old; it was exactly what she wanted.

It wasn't like she was obsessed. She was the farthest from it. She just needed proof. Pictures were fine but never good enough. Pictures got old and tarnished; distorting the image. Pictures only held an image; nothing real from that person was ever seen. Besides pictures never felt like the person, it was like it was fake. She finally found the band trapped in her wallet. She placed it on top of the Calculus textbook she had gotten from a very nerdy senior named Jekku. He had been very nice person; trying to teach her math, something she couldn't grasp if her life depended on it.

She wiped the past from her mind as she set out to shower before Sango appeared. As long as she was clean she could do the rest really fast in the train station restroom. Kagome started the shower and stripped herself of all her clothing; except for her watch. She never took it off, not after she had found it in her mother's bedroom closet in a shoebox. It was always off in giving time but it never broke being exposed to water. It was her trusty watch; always telling her the right moment to leave or to get things rolling. It always kept her on time; well at least within 3 minutes of the right time.

While she waited for the water to heat up, she turned and looked at herself in the mirror. There wasn't a mark on her; thanks to Kouga's gentleness. She had been with guys way more …rough. It was fine; sometimes she wanted that but it was nice not having little bruises or scratches left over reminding her of what had gone on the night before. Kagome leaned closer to the mirror and stared at her neck. The scowl on her face was instantaneous as she noticed the little spots on the left side of her neck.

Didn't I tell him no hickeys?!

Hickeys. One thing that Kagome hated. Like I'm some junior high school girl love struck. She couldn't hide them with her uniform. She didn't use makeup so she couldn't use that to cover it up. With hickeys it was like she was parading her private life around. People looked at you different when you had a hickey or two. Or Four… Four of them; she had counted over and over. They weren't that big but big enough to bother her.

Her eyes swept her skin, rolling over the scar above her left hip. She had seen it so many times, she forgot it was there sometimes. She turned to check her back. Nothing but smooth, flawless skin. Although a little too pale… Kagome didn't get it. She was cute enough; not hot, she was no model. But she was good enough to attract any guy she set her eye on. But with all the guys she had been through, at the end of the tunnel there was still emptiness. She sighed and ran her hands through her silky pitch-black hair.

She realized the fogginess of her image and remembered the shower. She quickly stepped under the hot spray of the shower. As she soaped herself, she thought of Kouga. A reflection of the past was always needed. Kouga had taken longer then most but still shorter then she had thought.

They had met at the park while she was jogging. She took care of herself. She did that on purpose, just so she could get anyone. It was almost to the point of being a game. They were all the same; a few weeks here, a weekend there; her shortest time being a day. Even Sango had been proud of her for that one. She put a blob of shampoo on her hair.

At first, Kagome had thought that maybe there would be something but quickly that illusion faded and in its place reality. Kouga was wonderful, but just not enough to give her what she wanted.

She had tried gentle; she had tried less gentle and each had the same ending. It was beginning to be frustrating in its self. Kagome turned to rinse her hair. I'll never change. Although it was daunting, it was never so bad as she thought to change her ways. In the end Kagome realized that this was what she wanted; at least for the time being.

She wasn't so delusional to think that she could handle a commitment. The word itself sent a chill down her back. As far as she was concerned the word commitment was created to be a veil that hid girls from the truth. A girl would think twice about going after something she wanted if she was in a commitment. A girl would think she had something if she was in a commitment. Psssh…pure crock.

Kagome knew she sounded jaded but she had fooled around with too many guys who were in a "commitment". Guys were all the same. They say they wanted her, liked her, they said they would leave their girlfriends of 1 year or more for her; only to turn away from her once they had gotten what they wanted.

Holding out was never an option. She was just too impulsive. She was too many things; too determined, aggressive, needy. No guy could handle that for too long. She checked her watch. She rinsed the suds from it and saw it said 7:10; so it was either 7:07 or 7:13, either way she was running out of time.

She toweled herself as she walked through her house; the air chilling on her bare skin. Her uniform and underwear was laid out before her on her bed. As she zipped up her skirt she heard the doorbell ring signaling Sango's arrival. Kagome quickly slipped on her shirt and ran for the door. She could have told Sango to give her more time but then that would be exposing her weekend to her friend.

No matter how much she liked her ways, Kagome never really spoke of them to Sango Tsukino. She had known her best friend for nearly 7 years and it was obvious the girl was just too… innocent for such ways. Sure Sango knew that she had had sex; she just didn't know how much. It wasn't like it was a lot, it was just more then Sango. Sango who was the virgin. Kagome's number was a carefully guarded secret. She never told her naive friend she bedded someone unless it was some spectacular course of events.

Her friend was all smiles as she opened the door; "Hey are you ready?"

"Yea almost. I just overslept." Kagome said quickly turning away from Sango to go back to her room for her socks.

"Anything interesting happen to you this weekend?" Sango asked innocently as she followed Kagome to her room.

"Nope. Nothing really. I just hung out at home." Kagome said as she shrugged. She rifled through her sock drawer looking for a match. She saw Sango from the corner of her eye lean against the wooden drawer.

"Nothing really?" Kagome looked up quickly noticing the tone in Sango's voice, like she didn't believe her. Her friend had a very suspicious look in her eye as she raised her hand and traced the curve of Kagome's throat outlining the hickeys.

Kagome backed away with a sheepish smile on her face, a small pink tint dusting her cheeks; "Okay so I made-out with this guy. Big whoop." The sarcasm dripped from her voice. Sango didn't mind make-out sessions; in fact she did it herself with her boyfriend Miroku.

"He didn't get the no hickey rule?" she asked. Kagome had already explained how she felt about the little marks before. Sango understood, she had the same rule for Miroku. The first time he didn't listen the bump on his head had lasted for days.

Kagome just nodded as she slid on her socks. "It doesn't matter. I won't be seeing him again." she stood, grabbed her stuff and was already walking out her bedroom; not giving Sango enough time to question anything.

~~~~

Kagome actually liked school. Well she didn't like the teachers bossing her around but she could always look past it. She never saw getting an education as a waste. She couldn't; her mother had always taught her the importance of learning.

She and Sango were sitting on a bench watching all the students run rampant around the schoolyard until the bell rang. They had gotten there with only 5 minutes to spare. They were waiting for Miroku Kyobashi now. He was usually there at school before them doing some duty for a pretty face.

It was amazing really. Sango's patience and tolerance. She hated Miroku's "friendliness" and told him plenty of times with a good bop on the head to accentuate it. He never learned though but Sango would forgive; all because of that pesky word commitment.

-I don't see how you can stand it Sango.

It's not like he's actually cheating on me.

-But he might as well be. Why- HOW can you stay with him?

We've been going out for nearly a year Kagome. We have a commitment to each other that's not something I can just throw away. We aren't all like you Kagome some of us are actually okay with being with one guy.

Kagome could have nearly smacked her for that. In the end it was just another piece of evidence supporting her theory on commitments. She herself had dumped guys for lesser offences then being "friendly".

But Miroku had always been the most talkative one of the group. Willing to say hello to a pretty face faster then a speeding bullet. She remembered how friendly he had been when they meet 4 years ago. Of course that was way before Kagome was in her present stage and besides by the time she did get there Miroku and Sango were in a strange phase of being together without being together. And that was one thing Kagome just did not do: guys that her best friend dated.

"Where is he?" she asked impatiently looking around the yard. She couldn't see him; there were too many people running around. The sun was starting to bother her already tired eyes.

She saw Sango motion to their right and there he was amidst the chaos amazingly enough not talking to a girl, but a boy, the one she had seen that morning during her run home; Inuyasha Mitsamuri. She had seen him around, plus classes, but nothing had ever come of it. Inuyasha Mitsamuri was not popular but not a loser; he was just an average everyday student. Just like Kagome actually.

Kagome was not a popular girl; preferring to speak to people with brains, but she wasn't a loser. She was just a normal student to everyone. She had carefully crafted herself. She wasn't known as the school slut. She hardly ever messed with guys who went to the same school as her anymore. Too much trouble. Too many almost accidental slips of her name from the lips of boys. She was just an average student, just like Inuyasha Mitsamuri.

Kagome turned to her friend and feigned an innocent voice; "Can we just go get him?"

~~~

Kagome studied the two as she and Sango came upon them. Miroku looked slightly annoyed waving some papers in the air while Inuyasha carried a very bored look upon his face. They were talking about something; well Miroku was mostly talking while Inuyasha only had quick responses for her friend.

"Did you do your English homework?" Sango suddenly asked bringing Kagome out of her observations.

"Huh?" she replied giving her friend a quick confused look before shaking her head and smiling while giving a real answer; "No. no time."

Sango shook her head. "Smith will not be happy." Her words were an understatement. Mr. Smith was the only American teacher teaching the English language. The man was a slave driver; giving assignment upon assignment, forcing research to find out as much as the American culture and its people. Really, if Kagome weren't going to be doing business later in life she wouldn't have taken the class or even learned the language. Sometimes it was just so hard to understand.

Inuyasha was ranting about stopping something when her and Sango finally caught up. He stopped talking altogether when he realized they were there listening. Sango immediately took her place beside Miroku and kissed him on the cheek. Miroku's immediate response was a very goofy smile.

Unconsciously, Kagome started reviewing everything she could remember of the boy. Inuyasha Mitsamuri lived in a shrine and they shared a Calculus class… She knew very little about him, in fact it was virtually nothing but that didn't mean that she couldn't learn anything about him. There was absolutely nothing wrong with having a new friend; male or otherwise. Inuyasha could be a new friend, besides their friends were going out for a long time…they should be friends.

She bowed her head as she said; "Hello Inuyasha." She made her voice light and gave her best smile. The one that made her look so friendly and disarming.

"Kagome" he said with a nod. She stole a glance to look at the couple who was, at the moment, in a small battle. Miroku was trying very hard for a real kiss with Sango defending him off. Sometimes their showing of affection really got her. It was so sickeningly sweet it could give her diabetes. Her friend was happy with this? A boy who couldn't focus on just one girl? She rolled her eyes at the spectacle.

She turned her attention back to Inuyasha and realized he was giving her an odd look. Automatically, Kagome's hand went up to the side of her neck where Kouga's mark was. She didn't even know if he was looking at them but she really didn't want him, or anyone for that matter, to see them. It was Kagome's view that one look with an added assumption could make her the talk of the boys' locker room.

She wanted to learn more about Inuyasha and she would have loved to have started some type of conversation with him but before she could even open her mouth he was stepping away from the group.

"Come on Miroku. You still have to show me the history homework." Inuyasha said already turning from the group.

Miroku was stepping away also but turned to Sango first; "Are you going to come with us?" he looked very hopeful into her friend's eyes. Sango and Miroku had first period Writing together, so it would only be logical for them to walk there together. Kagome's class, Calculus, was on the opposite end of the building so she had no reason to go with them.

Sango turned to look at Kagome who had a very bored look on her face now; "Go. I'll see you at lunch." was the only answer she gave her friend. Sango smiled and bounded off with them. Now what? She glanced at her watch; 7:30 AM. So the bell is going to ring now or in three minutes. She started for the front door anyway; not wanting to get caught in the herd once the bell did ring. She took no notice of anyone as she trekked across the asphalt.

The sun was starting to beam down unto the cement and the frenzy of children when the bell rang signaling to the students that now was the time to give up 8 hours of their life. The teachers herded the students into the brick building as quickly as possible. Just like cows… Kagome stepped into the glittering locker lined hallway. Natural and florescent light lit up the walls.

Already people were starting their everyday ritual. She glanced at the pretending-to-be-popular girls already primping themselves in their locker mirrors. Pampering themselves with pink lip-gloss slathered on their lips and perfect manicures. A quick glimpse at her own nails; chipped black nail polish, only solidified the difference. Kagome wasn't a person who talked and never did, she experienced. She was a person way too busy to do her nails every week.

The squeals to the right of her attracted her attention. The clucking hens of the popular group were always a turnoff she never felt even a tinge of longing to be with them. They were worse then the primpers, for the fact that they made fun of everyone who didn't try to emulate them. They squawked over and over about the same vapid subjects.

They walked farther down nearing the corner. She had the perfect view to a boy giving money to another for a clear baggie full of something dark green just as their oblivious principle Mr. Kuno patrolled the floor. So nice Mr. Kuno was; so ignorant to the reality of the school. Kagome swore sometimes that a person could be high and the tubby, balding principle would never know the difference.

She turned down the hallway nearing closer to her locker when she felt an arm snake its way along her shoulders. She turned to her right and was greeted with the devious smile of her friend Naraku Lio.

"Hi Lio." She said giving him a shining smile not stopping her walk towards her locker. She never called him Naraku, not since they were little kids and she would say Narake. Besides she didn't really like the name Naraku, Lio sounded so much better.

"Hey Kago." He said giving her a peck on the cheek. He started rambling about the troublesome of his classes but Kagome wasn't really listening. He always said the same thing, blah blah homework, blah blah school, teachers suck, work sucks. Kagome did what she usually did and nodded every once and while. To any stranger they looked like a couple, but fortunately they weren't a couple. They couldn't be she had known him too long. He was Lio to her. He was the guy who used to spend the night at her house when they were in elementary. He was the little boy who used to sleep with a stuffed monkey. It was Lio. And although there was all this history between them, things had changed.

"Hello are you listening?" he said lightly knocking on her head.

"Huh? What did you say?" Kagome said coming out of her trance. He was looking at her weird. She realized they were only a few feet from her locker. His locker was at the other end of another hallway altogether, so she knew that soon he would leave.

"I was asking you out this weekend." He said in a very nonchalant manner. They used to be such good friends but now they were separated; there was no connection. This is what had changed. Hormones. Things were normal and fine but then they hit high school and all of a sudden he's asking her out. At first it was sad whenever she refused him. Now it was just funny. Almost every other week he would ask and she would say no in a different way.

"Do you need a dictionary Lio?" she asked as she spun the combination to her locker. He was standing beside her his hands in his pockets.

"Uh no why?"

"So you can look up what the word no means." She finished with a smile and opened her locker.

"You never disappoint me Kagome." He had told her a long time ago that he thought one day she would change her mind and say yes. She sometimes wondered if he still thought that.

BRING BRING The ringing of the warning bell brought the two to attention to the fact there was only 5 minutes left before school really began. Lio gave her another kiss on the cheek and said goodbye before pushing his way through the still crowded hallway. Kagome herself had to get to her Calculus class. It was located at the end of the hallway, the opposite direction Lio had just went. She made her way through saying excuse me and ignoring the bad looks of the people she pushed by.

It was times like these Kagome wished she were 6 feet tall and weighed 250. Or at least have someone by her side that was.

The hallway Kagome was in intersected with another corridor, making it that she could see people walk past the hallway or turn into it. Her mood, which wasn't that great to begin with, turned even worse upon seeing Kikyo Kawasake turn and head straight for her.

It was like this always. Kagome would see her and she couldn't help but be angry. The girl's raven hair glinted under the fluorescent lights and the smile she wore as she waved to her friends was stomach turning.

It wasn't that Kagome didn't like Kikyo. The girl was fine…she guessed. But then what was she supposed to do about the feelings that sprang up upon seeing the girl. The memories that created themselves, regardless of how hard she tried to ignore them, only hurt more as time passed.

Seeing Kikyo, meant remembering her father.

*******

A/n: I'm writing this in regards to ppl who think I'm making kagome into a slut. I'm not and I really don't see it when I write. I'm trying to convey her as a person who knows, to a degree, what she wants. This is an AU fic so of course my characters are a bit OOC, it happens. But anyway I'm trying not to make Kagome's innocence based on her virginity because I don't see her as that. I would rather see that her innocence is based on her naiveté to life in general. I know she sounds jaded but then her experiences in this fic have made her so. I hope that when Inuyasha enters that you will see a more 'Kagome-like' character.