InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Disaster ❯ Chapter 1: Answer ( Chapter 1 )

Disaster

Chapter 1: Answer

By Selenity Jade

 

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, obviously. Otherwise, no one would ever watch it. I also don't make any money off this story.

 

Notes: I'm warning you right now; I don't go in for that "What? Did I just think she was beautiful?" as if Inuyasha or Kagome don't know how they feel about each other in their own hearts. He may not know the extent of her feelings, but it was made clear when Inuyasha chose to follow Kikyou to hell. He DOES know he cares about her, and she knows she cares about him, otherwise she wouldn't have chosen to stay with him, just to be with him. He simply HIDES how he feels in front of others and her unless the situation demands otherwise. Inuyasha says one thing ("Stupid girl!") but may mean something else ("I don't want you to die!").

 

Last Chapter: Kagome is shocked when Kouga asks to come with her.

 

 

She blinked in surprise. "Come with me?" she asked.

 

"With you, Inu-koro, and those other humans. You seem to understand what had been done to my pack because this... Naraku has been playing these tricks with all of you too."

 

She looked down. "Not really with me. I'm simply the one who broke the Shikon no Tama, so I started helping put it back together. But yes, Inuyasha, Sango, and Miroku have all been... damaged by him. So together, we're trying to find him, and stop him."

 

He nodded curtly. "I know; that's why I want to come. I know that stupid dog won't want me with the group, and I don't care. I'm asking you if you'll allow me to join this small pack, if only temporarily. I need to avenge my brothers, and it seems if this Naraku is as obsessive about Inu-koro as it looks from what just happened... this is the best way to go." He hesitated, then glanced at her, and asked softly, hesitantly, almost unsure of himself. "So may I come with you?"

 

She hesitated.

 

Damn it, she doesn't want me with her... even when the reasons have nothing to do with her!

 

"It's alright," he said, sighing, turning his cerulean gaze to the dark again. "I can just find him myself, I guess..." He made an effort to hide the hurt, both from her rejection and the massacre of his pack and allies. He felt his fists clench and forced his hands to relax. No need to let her know how much her rejecting him now, when he needed her to at least accept his help in fighting this bastard. He couldn't bear to have her know that he was less than confident. He didn't want her thinking he was too weak for her without her pack.

 

She touched his shoulder lightly, and Kouga could hear that Inu-koro growl louder behind them. And even that mutt's jealous fits didn't bring a smirk to his face. He simply turned to Kagome questioningly, his face a mask of indifference. "It isn't that, Kouga-kun."

 

"Then what is it?" he asked carefully.

 

"I'm trying to make the best decision for everyone. I..." She smiled at him slightly. "I sometimes react rashly to things, and I wanted to make sure before I said yes."

 

He blinked at her. "Is that a yes? I can come with you and your pack?"

She nodded. "We could use the help, and it isn't right to just let you seek vengeance alone. We all want to stop Naraku for different reasons, but we're together. I can't see why you can't come either."

 

He gave a watered down version of his usual grin at her. "Thanks, Kagome."

 

She nodded, letting her hand fall from his shoulder. "You're welcome."

 

Kouga let the silence drift between them comfortably as he stared out into the night again, his senses wandering, but alert. The pain in his chest hadn't lessened, but he felt a tiny bit better than the woman he had chosen to be his cared about him, even with Inu-koro hounding her like some stupid lap dog. He didn't think the mutt was competition really; Kouga was after all a pureblooded youkai, not some half-breed. He simply felt comfortable around her in his grief, like she understood enough to make it bearable.

 

"Kouga-kun?" she ventured suddenly.

 

"Hn?"

 

"Why did you call us a pack?"

 

He blinked and glanced at her. "It's what you are, aren't you?"

 

"Well," she began, hesitating, then glancing at him. "We're just friends."

 

He shook his head. "Maybe you are, but I'm a wolf youkai, remember? To me, what you are is a pack. And if that Inu-koro had spent any time with the dog demons, he'd feel the same way, but he's too damned pathetic -" Kouga felt a bit more uplifted to hear the half-demon growl louder in anger at the jibe " - to recognize one. You protect each other, don't you? When one of you hunts, he hunts for all of you, right? And there are even the dominate male - that's Inu-koro, though how he managed to become an alpha anything, the fucking shit -" this time Kouga actually smirked as the growl grew almost loud enough for Kagome to hear "- and the dominate female, you. The other two hunt and help protect the young of the pack. Of course, it's not a true pack because all four of you - I'm not talking about the kitsune here - are dominates, but you and Inu-koro are the leaders. And you're not a true pack because you and Inu-koro aren't mated, and in all packs the most dominant male and the most dominate female are mated."

 

Kagome blinked and actually smiled. "Well, that's because we're not a pack, Kouga. We're just friends. There are no dominants or leaders, really. Though Inuyasha is the closest one we have."

 

"Perhaps, but you are also dominant because you can make decisions for the group without consulting them."

 

She sighed. "Maybe it's easier on you to picture us as a pack because that's what you know, but it isn't what we are. We're just friends."

 

He touched her shoulder lightly. "Didn't you ever wonder why Inu-koro is also so protective of you? Why even know he's listening to us and glaring at us, making sure I don't lay a hand on you more than this? Or even why Inu-koro and I fight so much? It isn't all over you, though the majority of it is. I'm the pack leader of my pack... or what's left of it -" he pushed the pain away roughly "- and he's the pack leader for this wandering group of 'friends' as you call it. It may not be a true pack because you're not all of the same species, and you're not mated to him, but Inu-koro still has dog instincts. And as much as I hate to admit it, wolves and dogs are very closely related. Some speculate that the dog demons were once wolves before they mutated or evolved to something more 'tame'. I don't know what the truth is, and it happened so long ago that there probably isn't a demon alive who knows the truth." He ran his free hand over his ponytail irritably.

 

"What I'm trying to say is that we fight because we're both so dominant, both leaders of a pack, and we're territorial. I intruded on his territory - that means you, your pack moves, so his territory is the pack itself - and so we fight. A lot of it is because I want you and he knows it, and because he knows I'll probably win you from him, but just as much of it is because I'm a dominant and he's a dominant and he can't let another dominant near his group, not unless that dominant acknowledges his dominance. Do you understand?"

 

She blinked almost owlishly at him. Kouga admitted that he hadn't ever really been this serious in front of her before, except when he had been angry of course, and she was probably trying to adjust. Or it was too much to have her suddenly start thinking like a canine youkai.

 

"Just trust me on this, alright?" he finally said, lying back on the soft grass and gazing up at the black sky. "He hates me not only because I want what he deems his - you - but because I am also challenging him by just being near him. I won't acknowledge him as dominant to me, so we'll fight a lot." He turned his head to look at the beautiful girl by his side.

 

"And for letting me come with you," he added softly so that that stupid ass-sniffing mutt couldn't hear him. "Thanks, Kagome."

 

She smiled that heart-stopping smile of hers, and he tried to ignore that it was tinged with pity for him. "You're welcome, Kouga-kun."

 

She suddenly stood carefully, inadvertently showing off her shapely legs as she brushed dirt off her odd skirt. He suddenly wondered why she didn't just wear something similar to what the women in the wolf packs wore. It'd be more comfortable than that flimsy thing, and definitely warmer. The length didn't bother him because it was natural for wolf demons to wear enough to keep warm, yet short enough not to get in the way when fighting or running, and it never even occurred to him that the skirt might have been indecent.

She glanced back down at him. "Are you going to stay up here all night?"

He nodded his head once almost imperceptibly as he looked up at her. He put his hands behind his head before he spoke. "It'd be better if I were on the outskirts until Inu-koro gets used to me."

 

She nodded hesitantly. "I guess..."

 

He gave her a small smirk, hoping it came out more like his normal ones. "I know you can't get enough of me, but to keep the peace for now, perhaps you should go back and soothe his hackles. He's been growling constantly for the past ten minutes, and it gets more violent every time you touched me. I want to kill Naraku and Kagura even more than I want to win you right now, Kagome. If in order for me to achieve that is to join Inu-koro and sleep alone -" his voice caught at that word finally, and he was angry with himself for showing that sleeping alone gave him more grief to Kagome. He hadn't slept alone once his entire life as he'd always slept curled within his pack. To suddenly be without them, to have come upon their corpses and then to sleep alone... It brought a sound close to a sob from him, and he turned his back to her to keep it hidden.

 

"Just go, Kagome," he finally said.

 

She hesitated. He could hear her move her hand as if to touch him, but she didn't truly understand what pack was to someone like him, so she didn't know exactly how much it hurt to be on the outside of a pack now. Since she couldn't understand, she simply turned and slowly walked away from him.

He relaxed slightly when he heard her further down the hill. That girl meant more to him than even he admitted openly, but he still couldn't let her near him when he was like this. Females want the strongest possible mate, and right now, he wasn't the strongest. He was pack-less and beaten and had nearly begged entrance into another pack - his future mate's current pack which made it even worse - just to achieve the one thing he wanted most in the world now: Naraku and Kagura's deaths.

 

Kagome wasn't his mate yet, so he'd told her to go. He just couldn't let her know yet. Once they mated, it wouldn't matter as wolf youkai were the most notorious for being faithful and loyal to each other. She'd tend to his pain just like she had tended to his wounds... if only she had been his. But she wasn't, so she couldn't help him now. He couldn't let her ease his pain, because then she'd see... She'd see how weak he really was.

 

x

 

"What the fuck were you thinking?" Inuyasha snarled down at the petite girl from the future for the sixth time.

 

Kagome didn't understand why she didn't just 'sit' him for yelling at her so much - and so loudly - about her decision to let Kouga join them. Perhaps it was because she was feeling guilty for sitting Inuyasha in front of Kouga just shortly after Kagura left, which is what made Kouga choose to separate himself from them by a short distance. Perhaps it was because he was too close to her and he'd probably land on her. Or perhaps it was simply because she didn't want to hurt him with the subduing spell for something that was her fault anyway. She knew he hated Kouga, and she still agreed to let the wolf youkai join them. She knew he'd throw a fit and she hadn't bothered to even ask him before agreeing, and she knew she should have asked him if he'd mind if Kouga joined them, but she so obviously knew the answer that it was pointless. He'd have growled out a lot of "No, hell fucking no!" or other such phrases so loudly and persistently that she'd have been forced to sit him just to get her ears to stop burning from his coarse, crude, and absolutely foul language.

 

"He is not coming with us!" the hanyou stated fiercely as he clenched his claws. "He is useless, he stinks, and he can't keep his hands to himself! He's loud, smelly, and he's hopeless in a fight!"

 

"You mentioned smell twice, Inuyasha," Kagome muttered, though she didn't understand what Inuyasha was talking about. Kouga-kun didn't stink, though he did smell different than most guys she knew. He smelled... furry.

"That's because he stinks!" he roared at her, causing Kagome to flinch. If it got any worse, she was really going to have to sit him. He was relentless!

"Inuyasha, please, stop yelling," she said quietly, rubbing her temples with the pads of her fingers softly. The headache that had started during the fight between Inuyasha and Kouga before Kouga realized he had been tricked was getting worse.

 

"I'll stop yelling when you go right back up there and tell that fucking ass-sniffing wolf-demon to fuck the hell off and go find some other idiots to take in his worthless hide!"

 

Fuck the hell off? Does that even make sense? Inuyasha is really angry... She blinked as she realized she just used Inuyasha's own phrase in her head and sighed. "Inuyasha, please! You're roaring at me is hurting me," she nearly whined at him, hoping to appeal to his oddly 'convenient' protective side. Sometimes a little pinprick would get him pissed off because it obviously hurt, but sometimes he'd often keep yell-

 

"Stupid bitch! If you want the fucking pain to go away, go tell him to go away!"

 

"Inuyasha!" she screamed back, wincing at the throb increased, and she clutched her head. She didn't even notice Inuyasha's shocked blinked as he quieted at her outburst. "Please, I have a migraine, Inuyasha. Please, just talk, don't yell. I can't take more of it. I agreed because he's been affected by Naraku as well. We asked Sango to come with us, didn't we? We asked Miroku to come with us, right? Because both of them know how dangerous Naraku is, and they both want a chance to stop him for the pain he's given them both. So why can't Kouga come with us?" she demanded softly, looking up into the hanyou's face.

 

x

 

Sure, use logic, Inuyasha grumbled mentally as he clenched and unclenched his claws. He growled out something that was incomprehensible even to him and turned, striding away from the angry girl from the future and into the heavily shrouded woods near their campsite. He ignored the started exclamations of her friends, and simply bounded up into a tree and set a swift pace through the branches that led him as far from her and that stinking wolf shit named Kouga.

 

He couldn't yell at her anymore when it was obvious even to an idiot like him to see she was hurting badly. He couldn't make her head hurt worse just because she had wounded his pride and his ego. And maybe your feelings, fucking moron!

 

He growled, shaking his head, removing those traitorous thoughts from his mind. He couldn't let himself go there. Sometimes that girl got him to react in a way he shouldn't - like with her decision to let Kouga join their 'pack' as the stupid wolf shit called them, when any one with half a brain would see they were not anything like a wolf pack - and he was helpless to prevent these reactions. But he would control what he thought. It wouldn't be fair to either of the women he cared for.

 

Maybe... Maybe it would be for the best if Kouga did stay with them. Maybe Kagome would learn to like the stupid wolf more than she liked him. He purposely ignored the gut-wrenching pain in his chest and stomach at the thought of Kagome feeling more for the wolf than for him. He didn't acknowledge it at all. Not at all.

 

He owed Kikyou, he promised Kikyou, and he had to try to stop his feelings for Kagome from getting stronger. He had started feeling torn between them shortly after he had met Kagome, but the guilt and pain of losing Kikyou in such a manner wouldn't let him admit to caring for her reincarnation. He loved Kikyou still; even though he knew this walking, clay replica wasn't really the Kikyou he loved. Kikyou may not have been as full of life as Kagome was, but she had been warmer - if a bit reserved - and she held more inside of her than hate and anger. But his own guilt and feeling of betrayal by Naraku wouldn't let him just leave her because she wasn't really the woman he fallen for. And a small part of him felt he deserved hell for what had happened to her. He failed her... just when he had promised to become human for her.

 

He sighed as he stopped in a large tree, crouching down to study his surroundings. He wasn't sure of his own feelings anymore. Kagome brought out so much in him that Kikyou never had. That girl brought him to jealous rages faster than he ever thought possible. He had been scared to death when Sesshoumaru had knocked her out.

 

He knew Kagome better than he had ever known Kikyou, and that made him feel guiltier. He spent nearly ever moment with Kagome except when she went beyond the well, while Kikyou and he only spent a few dozen hours together total. Kikyou had always been busy as guardian of the Shikon no Tama, and as miko and healer for the village. She simply didn't have the time for him, and honestly, while he spent a lot of time watching her, simply being around, he had yet to open up to her. He felt something deep for the priestess; otherwise, he'd have never agreed to become human. He wanted that chance to be more to her, and if to do that he had to be human... why he'd have made that sacrifice. Besides, a part of him wanted acceptance, and he had never gotten that as a hanyou.

 

Then they both died, and he was sealed to a tree, and when he woke up what seemed like only moments after he had been shot by that arrow, he found himself looking at her again.

 

Only the girl in front of him wasn't really Kikyou, something nagged at him even as he yelled at her. She looked like her, except for the clothes, and he hadn't even paid attention to his nose when he saw her. All he felt was pain and anger at being betrayed, and it wasn't until he did pay attention to his sense of smell did he realize that this girl was truly not Kikyou. She smelled of something floral, and something odd, like miasma, but weaker, and beneath she had a warm scent of innocence and fear.

 

Now after all these months later, he was torn by his past love and this girl he was falling for, despite his best efforts not to. He couldn't reverse the first month or so of knowing Kagome while Kikyou had been truly dead and gone. He had accepted that she was gone, and while he still held a lot back from Kagome out of fear of being betrayed again like Kikyou had done, he found himself warming to her, opening to her, and even watching her. When Kikyou had come back and suddenly he found out they had been tricked into betraying each other, he had started pushing Kagome away.

 

He knew he kept hurting the girl, but it was better that way. He owed Kikyou, and he didn't want to betray her by leaving her to her miserable half-life while he became happy with her own reincarnation. Maybe Kouga's presence would help Kagome turn from him, and while the thought pained him, he knew it would be best. He had to stop opening up to her, even though she was his best friend, and the first person to ever accept him, as he was, half-breed and all. He had to stop caring about her so much the very thought of her being with someone else put him in the foulest mood and sent him raging.

 

He sighed, running his clawed hand through his hair. It was so much easier to decide to do something than actually do it. Kikyou still drew him out of guilt and obligation, while Kagome... would have been enough to let him move on from Kikyou entirely if he had let her. She may be Kikyou's soul, but Kagome was so different from Kikyou. She cared about him, accepted him, and even cried for him. And she drew others to her by these very qualities. People like Kouga.

 

How he hated that stupid wolf. That stupid wolf who intruded upon their lives, foolishly declaring his love for Kagome without any reservations, despite the fact he hadn't even known her! But he still was free of indecision when he did it, and that made him hate him more. He wasn't good enough for Kagome, with his flighty attitude, but he doubted anyone would be good enough for her while he was there.

 

Even he wasn't good enough for her because he couldn't let himself care for her like she deserved. He was a hanyou, and she was a pure-hearted human who loved everyone she met, even him. She stayed with him because she wanted to be with him, and she promised to be there with him always.

But it was selfish of him to hold her to him with his emotions so divided.

 

So maybe he'd let Kouga try to win her affections...

 

He growled, digging his good hand into the tree trunk beside him, and hung his head in defeat. Even as divided as he was, he was still too selfish to let her go. If Kouga so much as looked at her wrong, he knew he'd fly into a rage and attack the filthy wolf. Despite everything he knew was right, and best for her, he couldn't let her go to Kouga. The youkai wasn't strong enough to protect her, and he certainly wasn't good enough to lick his sword, so why would he think he was good enough to take care of one of the most important people in his life?

 

I'm hopeless. I can't keep her and I can't let her go... Kikyou, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that even now I'm betraying you.

 

When a scent invaded his nose, he twitched it and lowly started growling. "Hey, Inu-koro!"

 

Inuyasha snarled, lifting his head to glare at the wolf demon in front of him. "Get the fuck away from me."

 

"Do you always leave my Kagome unprotected?"

 

Inuyasha snorted. "Stupid wolf, she's protected just fine by Sango and that stupid monk." Inuyasha's eyes narrowed. "Besides, I thought you said you were enough to protect her. Are you too weak for it now?" Inuyasha taunted.

 

Kouga growled, hissing at him angrily. "I can protect her better than you could, Inu-koro!" He watched the tailed wolf demon hop into the tree opposite of him. Kouga stared at him a long moment before speaking again. "You trust those humans to watch her?"

 

Frowning, Inuyasha didn't get where the wolf was going with this line of questioning. "Yes. Sango hunts demons and Miroku would suck up even Naraku's poisonous insects in his hand to save Kagome. And Kagome can shoot a good spirit arrow to protect herself." Then he smirked. "And I can smell her from here."

 

Kouga scowled and sniffed the air, eyes widening slightly. "Barely," he admitted finally. "You can barely pick up her scent from the scents around."

 

"Enough that if she becomes frightened I can be there. I know her scent." Enough that he abandoned a fight to go to her when he smelled her in the well half a forest a way. Kouga didn't have to know that though. "Why are you asking me all this?" Inuyasha finally barked, irritated. That wolf just made him angry!

 

"You left her unprotected."

 

"So did you!"

 

Kouga looked shocked for a moment before to Inuyasha's surprise, he looked shamed. "I was just so angry with you for leaving her without protection I followed."

 

Inuyasha shrugged, standing up and hopping out of the tree. He knew he should have started boasting and arguing with the wolf as soon as he showed up, not explain to him how the group worked. But thinking so hard about Kikyou always made him depressed and obviously the wolf was still subdued after the fight and losing his friends.

 

"Let's get this straight right now," Inuyasha growled at the wolf. "I say where we go, and where we don't go. I protect Kagome and the rest, not you. We fight who I say we fight, and no one else. Kagome may have agreed to have you come along, but I don't want you here. Don't you dare run away from a fight, and don't you dare put Kagome in danger with your irresponsible fighting pattern."

 

Kouga listened to the hanyou, his hackles rising with each word. "Kagome is mine, why would I endanger her?" he growled, barely recognizable as words.

 

"Kagome is not yours!" the hanyou snarled. "I'm warning you right now, she so much as gets a splinter because of you, and I will kill you, and nothing Kagome does will save you." Inuyasha flexed the claws on his good arm again. "Do you understand me?"

 

Kouga growled. "I understand."

 

Inuyasha glared at the wolf, unwittingly surprised at how fast he gave in. He had been sure it would have led to a fight. Apparently, that stupid wolf was willing to do just about anything to achieve his vengeance. Well, fine by him. As long as the fucking wolf stayed the fuck out of his way, he could stay. If only because Naraku had deceived him as well and Kagome felt that he deserved to be there. It didn't mean he had to like it.

 

Growling, Inuyasha gave him another hateful glare, and turned running back towards camp.

 

x

 

Kagome looked up just as Inuyasha materialized from the forest. He looked grumpy, as usual, but strangely... subdued as well. She watched his broken arm carefully for any indication that it wasn't healing. He still held it limp at his side, but he didn't seem to even notice it. Either it didn't pain him much, or he was simply so used to pain right now.

 

She sighed. She always felt pained that Inuyasha had and continued to suffer so much in his life. All his inner pain made him rude and angry. Though sometimes, he showed her another side to himself. She continued to watch as he moved over to the spot below a tree near her, and sat down with his arms and legs crossed, Tetsusaiga carefully held to him. He leaned back against the tree, carefully avoiding looking at her, though she could see his ears twitch in her direction.

 

She frowned. He usually only acted this withdrawn after a run in with... Kikyou. She sighed, turning her face from him and looking back to Sango, who was currently stirring something in the large pot over the stove. She hadn't even asked the demon slayer what it was she was cooking. She didn't really feel that hungry anyway.

 

A rustle in the brush alerted her to another coming out of the forest, and she glanced over to see Kouga standing there almost as if he were hesitant to join them. His face showed none of the agony he had shown her earlier, but it still wasn't his usual cocky expression. She gave a small, welcoming smile, though she felt how artificial it was immediately. She didn't feel like smiling.

"Come sit down, Kouga-kun. Sango's about done with dinner if you're hungry," Kagome ventured.

 

He looked at her a moment before sniffing the air, surprise flashing over his handsome features.

 

Miroku finally spoke from his spot on the log behind Sango. "It does have meat in it, Kouga-san. Inuyasha needs a lot of meat too."

 

Kouga didn't reply simply walked over and sat on the other side of Kagome, carefully away from Inuyasha, but near enough to her that she heard the hanyou's loud growl. But since any distance in which Kouga could lean over to touch her was too close in Inuyasha's book, she turned to him to give him a small smile.

 

The half-demon just snorted, turning his face from them. Apparently, he decided that Kouga wasn't close enough where he could justify killing him to her. She sighed again.

 

This was going to be a complete and utter disaster.

 

x

 

Next Chapter: Dinner, and sleeping arrangements, and more of Inuyasha's temper.

 

x

 

AN: Everyone is acting all weird, but heck, that's to be expected. When everyone's done being moping, watch out!

 

Lovies!