InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Divine Aspiration ❯ Chapter One ( Chapter 2 )

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.

~ John Lennon~

Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach~

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Chapter One

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In his dream he was running.

Running from truth - running from absolution. But he should have been used to it. It was what he always ran from; it was what always plagued him.

The truth.

It fed off of him, leaving him hollowed and emotionless, yet bitter and hateful. He had chances to fix it, chances to make it better, but each time they never worked. Instead the truth fed off of him, burning his soul - his light, until it remained no more.

The truth was his reality, and it left him hollow.

That was probably why he ran, albeit now, he wasn't so sure anymore. All he knew now was that he continued to run, away from the only thing that would seal his fate, that would make his destiny final, and he didn't want that. But then that fear - it started to familiarize itself within him, festering and bubbling until it became a part of him, instead of a figment of his imagination.

Before he would not worry himself over such trivial things, but now, ever since he started dreaming about it, running from it, he had no other choice but to allow that fear to meld within him - become an absolute part of him.

In his dreams, he could feel the fear radiating off of his body as the twigs and branches scraped his skin, tearing the beautiful flesh, while stones and pebbles compacted themselves into his bare feet, drawing a beautiful crimson blood.

But he didn't falter.

He continued running, oblivious to his injuries, and wanting even more to grasp that false sense of security that his imagination had created for him.

It was somewhere, in his destination, away from the truth away from the absolution. And although he could not feel at first, the more he ran the more he realized it was present.

And he shouldn't have believed it.

But he continued to feel so empty and hollow; he simply couldn't help it.

He needed something - anything that would get rid of the bitter hatred that had nestled deep within the warmth of his being. He needed to stop feeling so cold. It was almost as though he had begun to rely on that bitter desperation that had wormed it's way within him, which started to become an absolution within him as well.

And so he ran some more.

He had to escape it, he needed to escape it, and he needed to escape the bitter, hollow shell that had somehow turned into him.

It didn't take much to know that something was missing, something that he had long desired since the truth started eating away at his spirit. He simply couldn't grasp it. And he knew that he should have, it had just proved to be so difficult. He had wanted to give up, but he didn't.

Instead he continued to run attempting to hide from the truth.

It had always been like that.

But this time, in his dreams, something changed.

Instead of the cold dark astringent trepidation that normally festered within him, there was something else, seeping within every pour, attempting to show him a different root. This time he didn't run wildly, without a destination in mind. This time he knew where he had to go.

It was as if that foreign feeling within him led him to believe that there was another route, another alternative.

So he took it.

And the branches no longer cut his skin; the pebbles no longer gashed his feet. Instead they curled away from him, each branch creaking and snapping in order to clear a path that led to no harm.

And he found that he was no longer running from truth - from reality.

Rather, he was running towards it.

But it wasn't the same truth that he had learned to fear so wholly.

It was different.

It didn't tug at his soul, diminishing his inner fire; it didn't make him feel hollow or empty. He couldn't describe the feeling that was washing through him, except that it felt good.

Replenished.

He felt replenished.

And then, it materialized in front of him, that truth that he had been looking for.

It was mystical and beautiful, with a serene silver fog settling in around him.

And he could feel it - the truth - poking and pulling at his nerves, settling its eyes on him, merely content to watch him. Normally he would have been alert, not completely trusting this new truth, but accepting it all the same.

That same foreign feeling continued to trickle within his being, as the truth watched him, its eyes shining brightly as it gazed at his soul, drinking it up greedily. His soul was nothing more than a dim light now, leaving him to feel so completely decrepit, but there was nothing that he could do to change that.

But for the first time, in a long time he felt content, merely allowing the truth to watch him, before it slowly sidled away, leaving him to his own devices.

It felt cold, empty without the warm truth near, but there was nothing that could be done. He had allowed it to lead him - to stare him straight in the face before deciding to move on, to take another path.

It was something he should have the first time.

But then, as soon as that unruly thought passed his mind, he could feel the cold stab of reality sneaking up on him, attempting to snag him from the small moment of contentedness that he was currently submerged in. If allowed, he probably would have drowned in that emotion, but he couldn't. He needed to escape.

He ran.

That empty hollowness filled him almost immediately.

~*~

Flowing.

It was flowing, warm and blue, through each specially designed veins and capillaries, warming her body with such precision that she did not know it was possible. The blood running through her newfound body, underneath the beautiful white silky shell of skin that she could now call her own, sent tiny shivers through each of her nerves, pinching and pulling in a painless matter.

And then, the feeling of icy winds nipping at her skin, letting her know that she could truly feel, caused an enticing feeling within her to build up to such a strength, she couldn't help but grin.

But what caused her to really know that she was alive was the fact that she could feel it, the small appendage within her being, beating slowly, starting off in a faint noise, but growing louder and louder in her ears. It was the sound that let her know that she was truly alive.

Her heart.

And as she put a hand to her chest, just so she could feel the simple yet intricate organ beat against her ribcage, she felt elation so grand, that it could rival any other.

No one could have been as happy as she was, no one could possibly know the happiness that she felt within that very moment. No one could have known. But the only problem was - she couldn't keep her newfound life. As soon as she finished her task, as soon as she brought absolute happiness into the life of a man who was so deprived, that life would be taken away from her. Her happiness would be taken away from her.

It was ironic really.

The girl smiled faintly, shaking her head in mock sorrow. It was strange, knowing that she was the one to be chosen in order to bring happiness to someone. She didn't even know how she was supposed to go about bringing happiness to someone, all she knew was that she was supposed to grant wishes until that certain man was trapped within absolute happiness. But even with happiness, one was able to feel despondency. The girl sighed loudly.

Despite being descended from the heavens, she had absolutely no idea of where to start, the knowledge of her task had in fact been ingrained within her, but the knowledge of where to find the subject of her task had not. She could possibly end up traveling the entire world just to find her subject, and that could possibly take an entire lifetime. Still, she had a task, and she would fulfill it, no matter how long it took.

She was determined.

Sighing in a small sort of satisfaction, she slowly stepped forward, unsure of whether or not her legs would support her, after all, a small while of being dead did not ensure whether or not her muscles would be strong enough. It would be as though she were learning to walk all over again, which was something that she was not accustomed to, nor that she wanted to experience. She was relieved when she was able to take that first step.

And then, after one step, she took another and then another, marveling in how it felt to able to do something as such. Normally, she would simply float around, without wings, her feet not touching the ground, nor touching anything else around her. The simple feel of being able to merely smell and see things that truly existed in the real world - a world where people lived their lives happy or sad - was enough to make her realize that had she still been alive, she would have taken these simple things for granted.

Walking in its entirety was a privilege. The heavens did not need to bestow this simple gift upon her, but it was enough, and she would be content.

The wind whistled around her, drying her lips and whipping her ebony black hair around her figure. The stars twinkled meaninglessly above her, dimly illuminating the moonless sky. It was truly enchanting, being able to see something so beautiful - it was something that she had forgotten all about.

It was something that she missed.

And she didn't know how long she would be able to enjoy it.

Licking her lips slowly, she ran her fingers over the thick cottony sun dress that had appeared over her once naked figure as she strolled through the small park, marveling at it's nature - its beauty.

She knew that she would cherish this moment always.

~*~

Cold.

Desolate.

Hollow.

He kept those feelings hidden, under a shell of haughtiness, arrogance and pride. After all, it was his pride that did not allow him to show his true feelings. To others, he possessed an air of mystery, keeping his private life private, and his social life social. He never gave too much information about himself, but he never gave to little either. He allowed the public to know exactly what they wanted, without giving out the extremely important details. He let them know enough to be content.

That was something that he never was.

But he liked to pretend. It was something that kept him sane - that kept him free of his own reality. When he pretended he could escape that reality, and allow people to believe that they had delved into his own.

Sometimes pretending hurt, because he knew that it wasn't the truth - that it wasn't his truth but it was something that he had learned to live with, to accept. Besides, pretending brought less pain, and that pain was something that he didn't to deal with. That was why his mask of arrogance was needed.

When people looked at him, they saw a man with haughty golden eyes and beautiful silver white hair. They never looked deep enough to notice the hollow core inside - something that he wanted. He was always good at pretending.

But he wasn't happy. And although there were people who believed that he was happy, there were also those who knew what he was truly feeling.

But they never chose to do anything about it, and he only covered it up more.

But - the business that had consumed his life called for it as well.

So he allowed it to take it's course, to continue to drown him within its fallacy, and now he was trapped, unable to escape it.

The stress that he had endured, it caused him to turn to smoking and to the drink. It helped ease his mind at times and yet - it didn't. Because whenever he woke up from his drunken sleep the world was still the same, each of them oblivious to his pain.

But it was always better that way, and he had to continue to tell himself to keep disconnected from the world, to keep pretending, otherwise they would know and he couldn't remain within his world of pretend anymore.

He puffed his cigarette in indignation.

"Something bothering you?"

The young man blinked, his cigarette dangling limply from his lips as he turned towards his young secretary, a look of surprise etched across his face. He wasn't normally used to her talking, unless he had a specific task for her, but for the young lady to simply come out and ask him what was bothering him. a silent sigh racked through his body.

"Nothing's wrong, get back to work."

The young brunette smiled, shaking her head slowly, before striding into his office, three thick manila envelopes pressed against her chest.

"I was just headed to the copy - but I could literally hear the wheels turning in your head," she supplied quietly; ignoring the glower her boss sent her way.

"I don't care, get back to work."

The woman smiled, tossing her black hair over her shoulder, and deciding that she could push her bosses buttons a little more. After all, as long as he didn't start cussing at her, there was really no reason to panic. Besides, she thought wickedly, he loves me too much to fire me.

"You seem to forget, as far as you're concerned, you are my job. Now, tell me what has you thinking so hard," the secretary, said, sitting down in a plush leather chair.

Her boss glared, taking another long drag from his cigarette, before crushing his cigarette in the marble ashtray in front of him, his hands folding neatly in front of him. His amber eyes met chocolate brown eyes, his lips quirked in an arrogant smirk before he flipped long strands of silver across his shoulder.

"The DeNato case. It's fucking annoying."

The secretary raised a questioning eyebrow before shaking her head slowly. "You're a junior partner," she started in exasperation, used to hearing the same complaint day after day, "not only is it your job, but it was your fault you got stuck with this in the first place. You just had to be Mr. Hot-shot and take the most difficult case provided to the firm."

The secretaries boss glared, his amber eyes darkening violently before he turned away, his arms crossing over his chest dejectedly.

"I didn't ask for your damned opinion, now get out of my office before I fucking fire you," he retorted angrily, yanking another cigarette from his pack and lighting it quickly. The secretary smirked, wrapping her hands around the thick manila envelopes, purposely taking her time.

"You won't fire me," she said in a singsong voice, "you love me too much."

"Keh," he muttered, taking small drags on the cigarette, "I'd rather you fucking die."

"See, that only shows how much you do care."

Her boss' eyebrow twitched, and he turned dark amber eyes to her, his temper fraying violently.

"What the fuck is with you today? Are you trying to get fired?"

The secretary smiled coyly, shaking her head in response.

"The senior partners won't like it if they find out your smoking in your office again," the secretary pointed out, motioning to the burning cigarette in the young lawyers hands. The lawyer merely glared, flicking ashes into the ashtray.

"Fuck you Sango," he ground out angrily, his jaw clenched in anger because - because the secretary was simply itching her way under his skin and the mention of senior partners - it literally made his crawl.

"Such a way to speak to a lady," Sango sighed dramatically, earning a frosty yet heated glare from her boss, " but if you really want, I'll leave you alone to sulk in self-pity," Sango retorted, walking to the door briskly before freezing and turning towards her boss once more.

"And Inuyasha?" The said man looked at her, his facial expression twisted into that of anger, " you're a really bad liar." And with that, the secretary strode out of his office, the scent of hot tobacco trailing through the air behind her.

~*~

The angel sighed, wrapping her arms around her knees as she sat on his porch, staring out at complete nothingness.

It hadn't taken much to find her subject's dwelling, she merely had to follow the pull of his soul - the place where his soul had taken refuge - and she soon as she laid eyes on it, her heart immediately swelled with unrepressed sorrow. And the simple feel of his sorrow running through her body caused so much unwanted pain - causing her body to swell with so much unwanted regrets.

She never regretted anything and she had never wanted to.

She had lived like she wanted, drifted among the heavens, and now she was living life again, on the chance that she could bring someone absolute happiness.

It wasn't a way she wanted to be returned to Earth - to the living - but she would have to make due, after all, living with an unwanted weight on her shoulders was better than not living at all.

It was how all Angels thought, it was how they thrived.

But even then, the Angels were happy and this Angel - she had never felt so much pain reverberating from a single solitude within her life. The townhouse simply reeked of sorrow, grief and indecision. But then - the Angel understood why she had to bring this creature absolute happiness. He was simply . devoid . of any sort of happiness, whether it be from something trivial or something grand. It was almost as if he detested everything that was sent his way, good and bad, and because of it, it caused a rift within his heart, causing him complete sorrow.

But then - the Angel sighed, her head dipping to rest atop her knees.

She didn't understand it.

She didn't understand how someone could feel so much pain within one moment; she didn't understand how someone could allow the sorrow within their being to manifest until it sweltered with bitterness; she didn't understand how someone could allow that bitterness to turn to hate; she simply didn't understand.

How could someone simply allow him self to remain so depressed, so empty and bitter, to not be content with life?

The thought alone caused the bitter feelings of resentment quell within her, bubbling slowly to the surface as her subjects sorrow washed through her with more vigor.

She didn't know what she would be able to do - she didn't know how she would be able to help.

Sighing loudly, the Angel glanced towards the darkening sky, chewing on her lips thoughtlessly. She couldn't help but wait for the owner of the beige townhouse to return, so that she could start her work soon.

She didn't want anyone to feel as much pain as her task, to drown in it continuously day after day with no way of escape; she was determined to override it. And no matter what she did, she would make sure that she succeeded.

Her task deserved nothing more than the best.

So deep in her thoughts, suffocating within the sorrow that was her task, she failed to notice how the small gate surrounding the property swung open, or the two males that were now standing in front of her, looks of surprise eminent on their features.