InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Divine Interventions ❯ Keeping Vigils ( Chapter 16 )

 

A/N: other hitomi: Wow, you have me baffled on the Shippo/sword thing! Should I say that this is a/u, and in this world Shippo can hold it? Tempting, but I don't think I'll take the easy way out. The truth is, I don't know the answer. I knew that Tetsiaga can't kill humans, but I thought Sesh. had taken it at one point? I admit, I'm not as good on the history/conventions as I should be. I read more fanfics than episode postings, so I am also horribly out of date as to what's happening in the real story. Please let me know if there's anything important that I'm messing up—I hate it when that happens. A good story can tank, even one based on fantasy, if at least some of the basic elements aren't believable, so if I messed up on this, my bad!

Now, about the protein bars—I totally agree with you. Many are just nasty, furry tasting. But, for a soy protein based meal on the go, they can come in handy. I like the Zone peanut butter and caramel cluster bars. Kashi's Chocolate Malt bar isn't bad either, but it's higher calorie and maybe a little high in carbs. I keep away from ones that contain partially hydrogenated oils. If it's partially hydrogenated, it partially toxic. Some “nutrition” bars actually have this as an ingredient! Since I'm in obnoxious info-mercial mode, just know that she's NOT doing the Atkins bars or anything else low carb/high fat& protein. In my humble, non-professional opinion, low-carb diets are dangerous and non-sustainable. Personally, I go for the Mediterranean Diet, Andrew Weil, Barry Sears, or anyone else who goes for the balance!

prinsess serenity59: Thanks also for the positive review and words of encouragement! I had someone helping me on spelling, but now I'm not sure. Since the words are transliterated from the Japanese anyway, I'm not sure there is a correct spelling, but probably more generally accepted ones. So is it Shippou or Shippo? I'm sticking with Shippo because I've already used it so much. I don't use too many of the Japanese words anyway due to cowardice and cultural ignorance, but if I misspell anything major please let me know. As for the problems with typos, etc. in English, again, I beg the reader's kind indulgence!

w.j.—What can I add right now about Michael? Well, as Dylan says, “The times, they are a changin'.” All may not be as it seems. Then again, all may be exactly as it seems, who's to know!

Again, for taking the time to read and review, thanks!

General note about postings: I will still try to update every day or so, but since I am getting closer in the story to the point where I am writing new chapters, I am going to make myself write 10 new pages (a chapter more or less) before editing and posting one of the older ones. I hope if you like the story and stay with it the delays will not turn you away. It's SO much easier just to picture the scenes in your head. When you write them down, you have to think about things like grammar and syntax, creative dialog, atmosphere, sequencing, all the other little ideas that just pop into your head, etc. Does anyone else ever get that? I'm not complaining, I love writing, I just wish I could do a brain download. Actually, I don't.

Chapter 16 Keeping Vigils

 

“Every single day,

Every word you say,

Every game you play,

Every night you stay,

I'll be watching you.”

(Every Breath You Take, Sting)

When they reached the open courtyard area in front of Kaede's two huts, they could see the larger dwelling was dark; Kaede had retired. The door to the smaller hut was open, and, in the warm glow of lantern light, Inuyasha and Kagome could hear and see the conversation taking place inside against the background music of crickets. Sango and Miroku were sitting on their bedding, talking. The bedrolls were placed on opposite sides of the walls, as far apart as the space in the small hut would allow.

Miroku was in the midst of explaining that to reach enlightenment you have to first accept that all life is suffering and understand that happiness is only an illusion. Therefore, the engagement in activities that produced happiness, when approached mindfully, could lead to a greater state of enlightenment. Sango was listening, but watching him warily.

“Hmm. I wonder what Miroku would say if he saw an illustrated Tantric Sex Guide?” `Nirvana!' she almost laughed aloud, picturing it.

Kagome was trying to repress a wry grin when she noticed Shippo inside her covers, crawling up and down and making the bedding writhe like it had come to life on its own.

She openly laughed at the sight, and Miroku and Sango turned at the sound, both surprised to see Inuyasha had returned with Kagome.

“Hello Lady Kagome, Inuyasha,” Miroku greeted them. “Nice night for talking?” he asked. He was trying to appear as it were simply an innocent question, but he shot Sango an “I told you so” look, and began grinning.

“Yes, Miroku, it's perfect outside tonight. So perfect, in fact, that I know you'll be fine sleeping out there when we kick you out.”

His face paled, knowing that Kagome and Sango could make good on that threat.

Sango turned to Inuyasha and asked “Why are you back?”

“Kagome asked me to stay here tonight,” he replied. Sango shot Miroku a disturbed look.

“Yes, and Inuyasha graciously agreed,” Kagome said, in a deliberately emphatic tone. She didn't want to give her friends any reason to think she felt embarrassment. “I asked him to stay tonight because of my nightmare earlier. I would just feel safer this first night if we were all together,”

Truthfully, she was embarrassed at what she knew her friends were thinking, especially since the thought of Inuyasha sleeping closer to her was not unwelcome.

“Here, Inuyasha,” Shippo said. “I'll make room for you. There's plenty of room under Kagome's blanket for all of us.”

“Why you little runt! I'm going to get you good!” Inuyasha yelled at him. He turned red and reached out to grab the child, who, quickly dashed back under the covers.

“Ahh! Kagome! Help me! I didn't do anything! I was trying to be nice!”

Kagome quickly stepped between them and ignored Miroku's laughter behind her.

“Yes, Shippo, you were trying to be nice. Inuyasha's just upset because he's tired, don't worry about it.”

“I'M NOT UPSET BECAUSE I'M TIRED, I'M UPSET BECAUSE THAT LITTLE RUNT KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS IMPLYING!”

“What was I implying?” Shippo asked, sticking his head out from the bottom of the blanket.

“NOTHING Shippo. Inuyasha knows that.” She gave Inuyasha a pleading look. “Now Shippo, I want you to be a good boy and play a new game with me. It's called the `Quiet Game.'”

“THE QUIET GAME?” he asked excited, peeking out of the covers again. “GREAT! How do you play?”

“You have to be very, very still. As still as stone,” Kagome said.

“A stone?” he asked wrinkling his nose at the thought. “and then?”

“And then you don't make a sound. Not a single sound. If you stay quiet until I say you can talk, you win.”

“I win?!”

“Yes, you win.”

“I want to win! I want to win!”

“Good. Shippo, start playing, now.”

Shippo disappeared under the covers again; there was not a movement or sound from him.

Inuyasha let out a defeated sigh, deciding to let the runt off easy this time, as long as he kept his mouth shut.

“Inuyasha, you can sleep over here by Miroku,” Kagome said. She spread her foam yoga mat and new sleeping bag on the ground for him. She wanted him to have extra cushioning while he rested for his broken rib. She handed him a small, square pillow from her bed at home, and pulled the top quilt off her own bedding for him to use. When she lifted it, Shippo opened his mouth, about to complain.

“Uh-uh Shippo. No talking, remember?” She said, shaking her finger at him.

His little face was sullen, but he didn't speak.

“Oh, I like this game Kagome;” Inuyasha said, smirking “Don't ever quit playing with him.”

“Ssh! You be quiet too,” she said. He shot her a look and was about to say something back but she cut him off. “I mean it, Lie down now. No more talking.”

Sango, lay down, trying to suppress a giggle. “Kagome's gotten really good at handling children.” she thought, “children of all ages!”

Miroku looked up at her and asked, “Lady Kagome, will you tuck me in please?”

Before anyone could reply, Sango was across the room and leaning over him. “You're playing the quiet game too!” she said, punching him in the stomach.

He let out a groan, looked up at her angry face, nodded, and rolled over toward the wall.

Kagome smiled and held her hand up in the air. “Sango, slap my hand.”

“Why?”

“It's called a high-five; it's a greeting you give some one or a way to congratulate them for doing something really well.”

Sango walked over and slapped Kagome's hand in the air. “Nice work, Sango.”

“Thank you, Kagome,” she said smiling. She lay back down on her bedding.

Kagome walked over to where Shippo lay. She reached behind him and pulled out her guitar case.

She unzipped the case and took out her guitar. “Shippo,” she called softly, sitting down on the bedding beside him.

He lifted the covers and peered up at her. “You won,” she whispered.

“Really! Wow! What happens now?”

“Ssh! You can speak again, but you have to whisper. Do you want a prize for winning?”

He nodded eagerly. “Okay then, lay back down and listen.”

She picked up her guitar and gently strummed a lullaby. Everyone listened to the strange, sweet music. They had never seen a guitar before or heard sounds like this, but it sounded beautiful. To Inuyasha it was strange, like the flute, but somehow hauntingly lovely. He recognized the melody as the same song he had heard her play earlier at her apartment. She didn't sing along, but played the music softly by the light of a small candle. When she finished, Shippo asked if he could hear one more song. She agreed to play just one more, and this time she sang softly too. She played and sang “All Through The Night:”

Sleep my child and peace attend thee,

All through the night.

Guardian angels God will send thee,

All through the night.

Soft the drowsy hours are creeping,

Hill and vale in slumber sleeping,

I, my loving vigil keeping,

All thorough the night. . . .

Inuyasha was astonished by the sweet richness of her voice. How could he have known her so long and not know that she sang, that she loved music? None of them knew this about her. He pondered this and realized, it just never came up. The younger Kagome was much too shy to volunteer anything about herself. “She didn't even want you to know she sings now,” he remembered. “She said she thought you were going to laugh at her.'”

He lay still in the darkness, thinking about how much easier it had been for him to laugh at her than face his real feelings. Now that he was facing those feelings, knew without doubt that he loved her, he felt ashamed, foolish for not letting himself feel it sooner.

He listened to the words as she sang the song through a second time and frowned “That's what happened to you Kagome,” he thought. “A guardian angel came to you while I was gone. A BIG, STUPID, PAIN IN THE ASS angel.”

Thinking of Michael ruined the song for him, and he frowned again. “I need to tell her not to sing any more songs with THAT word in them,” he thought, frowning.

When she finished, she placed the guitar gently by the side of the wall. Sango and Miroku were breathing softly, lulled to sleep by the music. Shippo yawned. “Kagome,” he asked in a drowsy voice, “will you teach me how to make this music someday?”

She smiled and leaned over, kissing his forehead gently. She was deeply touched by this request, though she wasn't sure why. “I'd love to show you.” She stroked his soft fur and climbed in beside him, whispering “goodnight Shippo.”

Inuyasha gingerly moved to make his sore side more comfortable. Kagome's music had made him drowsy too. He decided he might try to get just a little rest.

“Inuyasha,” she called softly across the room, “sweet dreams.”

He didn't answer her, but thought “you too, Kagome.” He breathed deeply into his pillow, once again inhaling her lightly floral, wonderful scent and closed his eyes.

Kagome lay in the dark, her eyes open, snuggling into Shippo. It felt so nice to hold the soft, furry child against her. She lay still for over an hour, just holding him, feeling him breathing softly and thinking.

On the other side of the room, Miroku was snoring lightly. Sango mumbled something indiscernible in her sleep and rolled over. Kagome lay still, listening for the sound of Inuyasha's breathing. For once she wished he wasn't such a quiet, light sleeper. She wasn't entirely sure he was asleep, but if he was awake, he wasn't moving at all, she heard no sound coming from him, which worried her slightly. She thought if Inuyasha was going to get sick with an infection and spike a fever, it would probably happen at night. She had seen him injured many times and much worse than this. Most of the time he recovered with nothing more than a day's rest. But he had never been injured by HER.

It weighed heavily on her mind that his rib was broken because of her and it bothered her greatly that he had tried to pretend nothing was wrong. Whether he liked it or not, she intended to nurse him as best she could through this injury. She had kept sneaking glances at him periodically all night, when she was sure he wasn't watching her, and he was definitely favoring his hurt left side. It astonished her that he didn't blame her in the least, although he could have. He actually tried to comfort her and tell her it wasn't her fault.

Thinking about Shippo, and what she did to him, she shuddered, thinking how much worse it might have been. The cut on his forehead was deep, but not deep enough for stitches, and Kaede had bandaged it well. If he were a human, his dislocated arm would be giving him so much pain he probably wouldn't be sleeping now. At least demons healed fast.

Still, both of them were hurt tonight because of Michael's damn binding spell. . . .She was definitely not going to just accept this stupid spell forever.

“Inuyasha had to tolerate that rosary for almost four years!” Thinking about this made her feel terrible for him all over again.

Her thoughts turned to Michael. Thinking about him was frustrating, confusing. He was her savior, her protector, the trainer for her physical and miko powers, her roommate, her friend.

“God Kagome, why don't you just say he's your `everything!' How many women can say they have their own, personal angel?”

As she thought about this, she realized Michael was no more “hers” than Inuyasha had been. She was his assignment, his duty, and, however long it lasted, it was still a temporary job.

Even though he had done so much for her, more than she could ever express enough gratitude for, she was pissed about the binding spell. He tricked her, which hurt. Kagome trusted him completely, and even if he meant well, it felt like an act of betrayal.

In spite of it, she still owed him everything, she knew that, and she wasn't sure how to feel about it. He was the one who was there for her, who helped her through her pain. He kept her alive with music, training, and most of all, the laughter.

“Do all angels laugh as much as Michael?” she wondered.

Thinking about him, his incredible looks, she wondered what it would be like to be involved with him.

“Okay, imagination time out. Reality check! He's not a MAN, he's a SPIRIT! You CANNOT, WILL NOT think of him in THAT way EVER!! He is an ANGEL, even if he does have a body like a Chippendale Dancer, the most amazing and sometimes scary eyes I've ever seen. . . .' Truthfully, this wasn't the first time her mind had gone down this twisted path.

`PAUL, PAUL, PAUL, PAUL!' her mind screamed back. “The only man you can think about like that is PAUL, the man you've agreed to MARRY. You're supposed to be getting married, remember? Look down at that ring on your left hand, baby. Think of the man who gave you that ring, the man who loves you, who wants to always be with you and only you. He was willing to drop his classes and fly across the ocean to take care of you because he THINKS your sick. That's the one you can think about.”

The trouble was, she didn't want to think about him, she realized, frowning in the dark. She purposely avoided thinking and talking about him because she honestly didn't know what the hell she thought any more. So much had happened since his visit last Christmas. Her life had changed, she had changed, and she honestly didn't know if she could just settle down and marry him when all this was over, pretending none of it happened. Should she still plan to share a life with a man she had shared nothing with for several months? She just didn't know. . . .

“You haven't shared anything with Inuyasha for two years, but already you know if things were different, if he asked you even now, you would gladly share everything with him. . . “

she sighed as her oldest and worst habit beckoned. These thoughts and feelings were so familiar. The “happily ever after” she had imagined hundreds, maybe thousands of times over the years. There were so many versions of the fairytale she had woven for herself:

In some versions it happened in her time. He would climb through her bedroom window surprising her. “Inuyasha!” she would say, “What are you doing here? I'm not due back for another two days. Is something wrong?” He would stare at her and suddenly drop to his knees, confessing his undying love for her, asking her to be his. She would rush into his arms crying tears of happiness. Then they would kiss . . . .

Other times it happed here, in the Feudal Era. Naraku was handily defeated and dead. She handed him the complete jewel with deep sadness, knowing her part in his life was over. He would look at her meaningfully, throw down the jewel and say he didn't need it anymore. All he needed, all he wanted was her. Kikyo, of course, would hear this, stab herself dramatically in the heart to try to punish him. Then, as the stolen souls all rushed from her body, she would fall to the ground, screaming “Inuyasha! I'm melting! I'm melting! . . . . “

Together she and Inuyasha would walk over to the pile of ashes that was her remains. He would sigh in relief, and embrace her, saying how thankful he was that Kikyo was finally gone. Kagome would smile lovingly and offer to help him bury her and hold a ceremony to pray for her lost soul. He would look at her with love shining in his eyes, telling her how wonderful she was. . . .

Kagome felt a rush of guilt. She blushed, ashamed at herself. “NO DAMN IT, NO! You are like an alcoholic looking at a drink! Stop it now! No more cheesy romance and vengeance fantasies about Inuyasha and Kikyo! That part your sorry life is OVER. It's been over for a long, long time. Don't you dare start this again now! Keep your shallow mind in the present and in reality!'

“Okay” she mentally grumbled. “Now repeat after me: I will not want Inuyasha. He's my friend, just my friend.”

She repeated the phrase silently ten more times to reconfirm and commit her resolve. She would not weaken. She would not make the same mistakes that had almost cost her the chance to fulfill her duty as protect tress of the jewel.

After waiting another twenty minutes and still hearing no sound from Inuyasha, Kagome decided to try to check on him. She slipped out of the covers and, as stealthily as possible, moved across the room to where he lay sleeping. Kagome peered down at him. He was on lying on his back, his eyes closed. Taking this as a good sign, she gently lowered herself to her knees and watched his chest rising and falling, looking for signs of trouble or raspy breathing. So far so good. Only one thing remained to check, his temperature. She knew his core body temperature was higher than a human's, about 100 degrees. After snuggling freshly with Shippo, she thought she would be able to gauge fairly well if his temperature was higher than that.

Slowly, she moved her hand to his forehead. She was moving so slow and being so careful, she was having trouble breathing. As lightly as she could, she rested her hand for just a second on his forehead. Cool by demon standards. “Thank God,” Kagome thought, deeply relieved. She carefully moved her hand away, stood up, and stepped back away from him, very slowly. She breathed another sigh of relief when she reached her bedding. “I actually checked on him without waking him,” she thought happily.

Across the room, Inuyasha opened his eyes and smiled.

Kagome decided to check on him every two hours, just to make sure. She checked the steady glowing face of her watch for the time. She needed to check him again at three o' clock, but for now, she could rest. She wasn't tired, she had slept an entire day away, and she was still excited and tense from being back and the way she came back.

Not that she slept as much these days anyway. She was used to be wakened at odd hours by Michael. There had been enough nights when he came to her door, and once he was sure Chloe was asleep, knock lightly. “Rise and shine, love, we've got work to do!” He was so perky, so annoyingly happy in the morning. No amount of complaining or threatening would get rid of him. “Get dressed, Kay, or I'll come in there and do it myself. Evil doesn't care about your beauty rest.”

Whenever he made her get up before the sun, he always made it up later. There were also days when he let her sleep in to noon, bringing her a four- course breakfast in bed complete with a red rose. She smiled, remembering those mornings. “No, it hasn't been all bad, the last couple months,” she thought.

Twice more Kagome repeated her procedure for checking on Inuyasha. She almost couldn't believe her luck that he had slept through the night and she was able to do this without waking him. “I think he needs to sleep on the ground more often,” she thought.

Rest was the important thing for him now, and, feeling fairly certain he was out of danger after the last check, she could relax a little. It was five o'clock. Time to get up and get going.

Pushing the red light on her watch, Kagome located the clothes she had laid out earlier. She got back under the covers with Shippo and sat up, undressing under a tent of blankets. Then she slipped on her biking shorts, sports bra and tank, warm-up jacket, and socks. It was a difficult maneuver to get dressed fully under covers, but with Miroku across the room from her in the one-room hut, it was her only option. Getting out of the blankets again, she quickly tied her hair back with a scrunchie and used her red beam to locate her MP3 and earphones from her duffle bag. She was afraid her running shoes might make noise on the floor and so slipped them off and carried them. Kagome moved quietly, and, making no more sound than a small ruffle, slipped out the door.

She went a fair distance away from Kaede's compound. The air was chilly, but there was only a slight breeze. She looked up in the darkness. The stars were astonishing, the Pleiades constellation loomed so close, she felt she could almost touch it. She had forgotten this about Inuyasha's time, how much larger and closer the sky seemed, the brilliance of hundreds of stars. She felt a sense of peace and something else-somehow the very earth and sky themselves seemed more alive in this time. Kagome stood in silent reverence for several minutes, just taking it in.

After a thirty-minute warm up set to the music of Enya, the first signs of light were beginning to appear on the horizon. Kagome unzipped her jacket and tossed it down, selected U2's first three songs from the Joshua Tree album to start her off and began running.

Inside the hut, Inuyasha opened his eyes, blinked and stretched on his bedding. Stretching and breathing in, he was still sore, but already feeling better after only a few hours. He hadn't realized he had actually dozed off. “I must have fallen asleep after the last time Kagome came over, he thought.

The first time she had done it, he heard her get up and knew she was coming. He waited, wanting to see what she was up to. When she was at his side, he suddenly felt excited, a little nervous. He pretended to be asleep. Did she want to talk, or was it something else? He even imagined her bending over and kissing him, just like he kissed her early yesterday before jumping through the well. When she actually bent down, his heart started racing so hard, he didn't know if he could lie still any longer. He thought she was actually going to do it, to kiss him. Then she reached out so gently, so timidly, with her hand and laid it on his forehead. This was something he didn't expect, and he was very surprised by her tenderness. It wasn't a kiss, but it was still a show of affection. No one had touched him like that since “. . . .since my mother.”

When she went back to her bedding he was both relieved and disappointed. He listened to her, knew by her breathing rhythm and sounds she was not asleep. Was she afraid to sleep, afraid of more nightmares? That must be it. She had surprised him by asking him to sleep near her, admitting she was afraid. “That must be why she came over here, too. She's afraid, not wanting to be alone. She wanted comfort, but didn't want to wake me.” After a time, she repeated this act, quietly moving over to him, touching him for a sense of comfort, and going back to bed. He smiled thinking about her doing this. It was cute and sweet, almost child-like. He still didn't move, if she got brave enough to try to kiss him, he didn't want to do anything to stop her.

It was after the third time that she repeated this, that he realized what was going on.

“Shit! I've been had! She's not worried about bad dreams, she's worried about me. She's been checking me for a fever! Oh, that sneaky, little wench. She tricked me into staying here so she could play doctor. The next time she pulls this little routine, I'm going to doctor her!”

He smiled dangerously. “Okay Kagome, come on over. . . .your patient is waiting!” He waited for her to come back again, thinking about what he was going to do when she did. He was embarrassed that he had fantasized her wanting to be near him for comfort, even wanting to kiss him, and he was angry about it. She lied to him, damn it, and this time, he couldn't even tell she was doing it. “Still. . . .' he thought, `She's stayed awake all night just to check on you; she lied about why she wanted you here, it's true, but did she really do anything so wrong? She's showing her concern for you, doesn't that count?”

“But,” he asked himself, “Is she doing all this because she really cares about me or is it just because she feels guilty I got hurt?”

He thought, he hoped he knew the answer to that, but he wanted to do something to find out. He waited patiently for her next little check-up. . . .

It was some time after that he must have fallen asleep. He waited now for her to come again, listened for her- he heard nothing. He shot up, eyes scanning the bedding across the room. Only a small form lay sleeping on her bedding. Kagome was gone.

Inuyasha stood and walked out the door quickly, frantically using his all his demon senses to find her. What the hell was she doing? His eyes picked up something lying in the grass. He ran over as quickly as he could move with his mending rib and picked it up.

“Kagome's jacket.” Her scent was fresh, still warm. Why did she come out at night alone? Why did she leave her jacket? He sniffed the jacket and the ground for any trace of her blood, any sign of trouble.

Did she decide to go back to her own time? Is that why she left? Inuyasha felt dread as he raced toward the well. When he reached it, her smell and his were still coming from the well together, but that was all. She did not come back here, so she was still in this time. At that discovery, he let out a deep breath of relief and allowed himself to rest against the well's low wall.

If she wasn't here, where was she? Why had she gone out at night? He thought about her out here somewhere, completely unprotected. The sun would be coming up soon, but that gave him almost no comfort.

“She could be caught off-guard again, like she was with the cockroach. . . . Damn that girl! When I find her she's in so much trouble!”

Inuyasha tested his abilities to jump and lunge. It still hurt, but he could do it now. He wasn't able to move as fast as he normally could, but he could move faster than he did on the ground. He returned back to the place where he found her jacket, stood very still, and sniffed the air for several minutes.

“That way.”

He jumped up and started moving, following her scent.

The sky had lightened to a dark purple-blue. Kagome was running at a good pace, her strides even and strong and her breathing steady. Her necklace bounced against her with the rhythm of her body, making her aware of the angel pendant with each footfall. She was warm from her exertion, even in the chilled air, and was glad for the comfort of her own sweat. She had gone about three miles now, and she smiled happily. She felt so free running in the wild beauty of the forest. Listening to her music, running to catch the sunrise, she felt exhilarated. She ran with her arms out, catching the wind, jubilant.

Inuyasha was over her now, his eyes narrowed, watching her. She was dressed, he saw, in very little. Tight shorts that revealed the shape of her thighs and buttocks and a top that was so small more skin was exposed than covered.

“Stupid wench! What the hell is she doing? She's going to catch-cold like that! Why is she out here anyway, running for no reason?”

He watched her as she stretched her arms out, running. Even in the low light, he could see she was enjoying herself. “She's acting liked a crazed lunatic!”

He heard the loud buzzing sounds that he recognized as music coming though earphones. Sota had been doing this too, listening to music too loud, right in his ears. “You really are crazy, Kagome,” he thought, and wondered if the music might be having a bad effect on her mind.

How long was she going to keep this up?

“I didn't know she could run this far,” he realized, and was slightly impressed at her stamina. She had run far already. Too far, and he still didn't know why she was doing this.

On the ground, Kagome saw she was approaching a river in the distance. The water caught the gathering light and reflected it back, subtle glints of pink and yellow lights on the horizon. The sky above was getting rosy with early dawn. She grinned hugely, as she listened to her last song for the run, “The Middle,” by Jimmy Eat World. She picked up her pace. She knew from experience that she had already hit and past her five-mile training mark. The river was like a god-send; nature's reward. As she approached, she pulled her earplugs and ripped the velcro strap holding the MP3 from her arm. She picked up speed and jumped into the river.

Inuyasha gasped in shock. He was still following her, keeping a small distance behind her to watch for potential attackers. He watched her run toward the water, but was sure she would drop at its edge, having exhausted herself. When her run turned into a charge and then a jump, he watched, wide-eyed.

“WHAT THE HELL!'”

Was she trying to kill herself? Scared and shocked beyond reason by her recklessness, the hanyou landed by the water's edge to look for her. She had not surfaced. His heart jumped into his throat, and his chest tightened in pain.

“Gods! What has she done to herself!”

His panic was rising and he was about to jump in after her as her form broke the surface. She came up, breathing in deeply, letting it out with a bubbling, laughing, whoop.

She let her body rise to the surface of the cold water and began to swim to shore. As she reached the edge, she was jerked out of the water, scooped up from above. She gasped with fright, and the spell activated.

Inuyasha had her one second, and the next was repelled back with extreme force, landing on his back some twenty feet from her.

His breath came out in a loud “Uumph!” as he landed painfully. Kagome stood up, soaking wet and completely chilled. Her heart was racing, and she frantically tried to figure out what the hell just happened to her. She blinked, and saw a crumpled, red figure slowly rise in the nearby grass.

“Inuyasha!” she called running to him in alarm. “Inuyasha! Are you alright?”

She was stunned to see him and realized that he must have followed her, but right now was alarmed.

He grabbed her forcefully by the shoulders and yelled down at her.

“What kind of a STUPID, CRAZY BITCH are you!!!” He demanded, shaking her and holding her tight. He was careful not to hurt her, but his grasp was firm. His eyes flashed with a dangerous anger Kagome couldn't understand.

“Inuyasha, stop please! What's wrong with you?!”

“WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!! WITH ME?!
NOTHING is wrong with me.
It's YOU, you crazy, stupid-“

She had enough of this and surprised him by deftly moving away from his grasp. She backed away, watching him warily.

He was caught off-guard by her agility, and also angered. His eyes widened. “Does she think she can get away from me? I'll teach her she can't get away so easily. . . .”

“Inuyasha, you really scared me. I think you activated the spell again,” she said primly.

“You THINK so? You think maybe that's why I was tossed back like a rag when I fuckin' touched you!!”

“Inuyasha I'm sorry! Did I hurt you again?!” she said, rising alarm sounding in her voice.

“I'm fine Kagome! The damn spell just threw be back into the grass this time, not through a wall.”

“Oh,” she said, sounding like she was about to cry, “I don't want to hurt you, EVER! I wish I wasn't bound to Michael and under this spell.”

“Hhmph! I wish that too, believe me!”

“Inuyasha, please--Just tell me why you're here,” she said.

“Why I'm here?” he said, his anger flaring fresh. “I came to see what the hell happened to you, crazy bitch!”

She didn't want to cry, but she could feel hot tears stinging in the corners of her eyes. Her mouth and body tightened. His anger and his words were hurting her. She remembered he could be grumpy on a good day, have a vile temper when provoked, and in his demon state, be truly dangerous, but she had never known him to be cruel. She hadn't done anything wrong. Why was he being this way?

“Maybe he's got a fever, maybe that's what was making him act this way. . .” she thought, frowning.

Slowly, she approached him. “Inuyasha,” she said in a calm, low voice, “I've been running. I do this every morning.”

He looked at her, blinking. “You do this EVERY morning?” he asked disbelieving. “For hell's sake, why?!”

“It's part of my training,” she said, sounding as if she was trying to calm a child having a temper-tantrum. “Michael and I run together. It's to build strength and endurance. People run like this for exercise and--”

“He has you do this?! Does that fuck also make you jump into ice water every day too?!”

“No,” she said, still calm and actually smiling a little. “The swim was my idea.”

“A swim? You are crazy!”

“I'm not crazy!” she said, sounding defensive and wrapping her arms around herself. “I was hot from the run. The water cooled me down.”

“Your not cool, your frozen Kagome!” he said, looking down at her.

Her wet hair hung in limp, dripping waves over her bare shoulders, her skin was goose- fleshed and dusty blue, and her clothes clung tightly to her skin. Before she wrapped her arms around herself, his eyes took in how her wet shirt revealed every contour of her breasts and her small, hardened nipples. Even shivering and wet, she was enticing. He wanted to hold her close. He wanted to throttle her. He was angered and excited by her, and his conflicting impulses were driving him crazy.

“Here, wench!” he said, taking off his rat-fur coat and wrapping it around her. As he did this, she decided to test his skin for fever, hoping that in her own chilled state she would still be able to detect it. Her hand reached up to his forehead, but as she did, his own hand quickly wrapped around her fingers, freezing her hand in mid-air. She gasped in surprise.

His eyes flashing, he gave her a menacing look. “Not this time, Kagome. I know what you've been up to.”

If she weren't so cold, she would been violently blushing. He could see it in her eyes, feel it in her heartbeat. “Inuyasha,” she said weakly, looking down, I'm sorry. I thought you were asleep. I. . .I didn't mean to anger you. I was just worried.”

“You tricked me into sleeping inside. You lied about the reason why you wanted me to stay,” he said, still holding her hand.

“Yes. I tricked you, and I'm sorry.” I won't do anything like that again,” she said.

“He's right. Even if you think you did it for the right reasons, it was still deceitful.”

She was looking down at her chest, at Michael's necklace, and feeling miserable. He was right to be angry.

“Kagome, he said, softening somewhat, “What you did was wrong, but it's not the same as what Michael did. I'll forgive you for lying to me this time, but you have to promise me something.”

“What do you want?” she asked looking at up him with tears in her eyes. Her color was a little better and she wasn't shivering anymore thanks to the warmth of his coat.

His eyes held hers in a steady gaze. His voice was low, commanding. “I don't want you to lie to me anymore, ever. I mean it. If I ask you something, I want you to always tell me the truth, whatever it is.”

She nodded gravely, meeting his eyes, drowning in them. “I won't lie to you Inuyasha.” She felt like he was looking right through her, to her very soul.

As she made this promise, she felt the weight of it, knowing she would honor it. She was already bound to him by her promise to see the quest through with him, no matter what, but she knew it was more than a sense of honor that kept her bound to him and to her word, it was love. Now, she felt inexorably as if her love for him was about to take another toll on her heart and peace of mind.

“I want to know why you were worried about me.” He said, his eyes still locked on hers.

“Why?” she furrowed her brows, trying to shake off her thoughts and understand the question.

“Inuyasha I was worried because you were hurt. You wouldn't let me see how bad it was. Demon or not, a broken rib can still be a very serious—“

“Kagome, that's not what I meant,” he interrupted. She looked completely baffled. “I'm not asking why my injuries might be serious. I want to know why YOU were so worried that you would lie to me.”

She cast her eyes down, realizing what he was asking. She thought for a moment and then looked back up at him, answering honestly, as completely as she could: “I felt terrible that I hurt you. I never want to hurt you again. You are my friend and I care about you.”

“Please! Please don't ask me any more, not right now!” Her mind was pleading. “If you ask me now exactly how much I care, I'll tell you. . . .I don't want to, but I will.”

His eyes were locked on hers. He listened to her words, sensed her emotions. He released her trapped hand, but instead of backing away, moved closer. He put his hand gently on her cheek, willing her not to look away.

“I care about you, too,” he said. He brought his mouth back to hers for a kiss. Her breath caught in her throat, again surprised by the sudden sensation, the quicksilver change in his mood. He kissed her longer than before, allowing his lips to linger, to enjoy the taste of her. He felt her surprised response, her undeniable excitement. He pulled back, leaving her stunned.

His lips were so soft, so sensuous. The sensation was incredible, her own responses to him shocking to her. How could he do this to her so quickly-- turn her brain to jelly and make her tingle with heat from her chest through her fingertips?

“Inuyasha,” she said, trying to recover, “Thank you for forgiving me.” She smiled self-consciously, still not in control of her rushing emotions. She wanted to say something else, but what could she say?

“Hey, thanks for that amazing kiss. I know we're just friends, but I have to tell you, that was the hottest kiss I've ever had.”

No, she definitely couldn't say THAT. She would be okay, as long as he didn't ask her what she thought of the kiss, what she felt for him now.

Inuyasha nodded, indicating a `your welcome.'

“From now on,” he said, “I will go with you.”

“Where?”

“Wherever you run, when you exercise.”

“Oh, that's not necessary,” she said. “I'm sorry you felt like you had to come looking for me today, but I've been doing this for awhile and I don't mind being alone.”

“Don't argue with me, Kagome,” he answered firmly. “I'm coming with you. Everywhere you go, I'll go.”

A part of her wanted to argue about this, but a larger part, the part that like Inuyasha's attention and craved more of it, won. She remained silent and nodded in assent.

The independent feminist in her knew that she shouldn't be letting him take control of her like this, he was being overbearing, treating her like a child. At the same time, she loved being with him, loved feeling protected by him.

“Just like the way Michael takes care of you. You really just want some man big, strong man to do that, don't you?”

She blushed at her own thoughts.

“No, this is not the same as it is with Michael. Michael is my protector and my friend. Inuyasha is—

He's WHAT? How is this different? Is there still some part of you that thinks after all this time, he could still be any more to you? Oh shit, there is! You'restill living in fantasy land. You don't want any big, strong man, you want a big, strong, sexy half dog-demon to take care of you. Oh, you are such a nitwit!”

She didn't berate herself mentally to indulge in a self-pity fest; it was her way of giving herself mental marching orders, a kick in the ass to get her head on straight.

Kagome needed a reminder of who she was. She sure as hell wasn't the same seventeen year-old who ran away in tears. She didn't lack confidence and understood that she couldn't have achieved the things she had if she did. In academic studies she excelled, believed herself to be at least passably attractive, even if she wished she were taller, and, false modesty aside, knew she had real musical talent. More than one scout over the past year had come to the club just to hear Angel Blue and meet her. She had offers that pleased but didn't tempt her. She had many friends in the music industry and knew that as much as she loved singing and needed music, it was not her true calling in the way it was for so many talented others who deserved a break. Music was her pastime, but healing had always been her passion.

Once she had accepted that she was not returning to the Feudal Era or Inuyasha, she had gotten her life on a fast-track to success and achievement with her mother's help. During the past two years she worked hard, grew up fast. Her short time singing and dealing with fellow musicians and fans had given her a new level of sophistication in dealing with men. Paul was not her first boyfriend, just the first man who made it clear he wanted her as a partner to start a life with built on shared ideals, a shared profession, shared membership in the country club. . . .

She didn't try to pretend that he was the great love of her life, no man could EVER be that, but there was the crux of the problem. No man could ever be Inuyasha. Resigning herself to this, she accepted that her choices were to get realistic and settle down with a nice man and have the family she wanted or quite likely end up an eccentric spinster doctor.

The addition of a guardian angel had changed the equation, but, she hoped, not screwed with the outcome infinitely. As long as Michael remained with her and there were portals to open and spirit battles to fight, she would help save and heal the innocents both living and deceased. But, even if she devoted the next, great part of her life to this obligation after her time here with Inuyasha was over, she still wanted a small dream for herself--a husband she could admire if not love, and a family. It would never erase the pain of loving the one she couldn't have, but the thought of it as a possibility made her life without him seem bearable.

 

Reflecting on this, she felt back on solid ground, back enough to know where the treacherous footing lay.

“I can't let him get so close to me. Friendship kisses from friends I can handle, not from Inuyasha. Of course he's my friend, but, if I don't want to loose control and make a fool out of myself, I better put keep some emotional and physical distance from him. I just can't handle how he makes me feel.”

Kagome picked up her MP3 player and headphones and walked back with him, feeling ridiculous trudging beside him in his heavy coat and her own wet shoes. She wanted to think about something else, something uncomplicated and happy.

“You know what, Inuyasha?” “Hmm?” he voiced.

“I forgot how much I liked being in your time. It's so beautiful here. When I run at home it's on sidewalks and through parks bordered with fences. It's so open here, so free. I think if I had my music with me, I could be happy here forever.”

She said this smiling, unselfconscious about how it might sound. She was too absorbed with what her senses were taking in to worry about it. She loved the beauty, the fresh air, everything. This had been the most enjoyable run she had ever had.

He stopped and circled round in front of her, blocking her. “Do you mean that Kagome?” He asked. “What you just said?”

She could tell by his expression and the way he was looking at her that he was serious. This was a real question, a `don't-lie-to-me' question.

“Damn! Why is asking me this?”

“Do you mean, if everything was different, if it were possible to change reality, would I want to stay here forever?” she asked, both teasing and incredulous.

“Yes. If it were possible, would you want to stay?”

“Well. . . .Yes, I meant it. I love it here. Who knows, maybe in an alternate world, and in an alternate life, I'm living here right now!” she said playfully. “Maybe I'm here sharing my life with you,” her mind added, refusing to cooperate with the get-some-distance program.

They walked the rest of the way back to Kaede's in silence, Kagome enjoying the sights of the woods and meadows on her first real day back and Inuyasha enjoying his thoughts.

He was happy, happier than he would have imagined when he woke up. He had been angry with Kagome for lying to him and scared when she left, but now he felt like everything was going the way he wanted it to. Kagome wasn't going to lie to him anymore. She told him she the truth about how she felt--she really cared about him. His heart racing with this information, he kissed her again, and this time he was left with no doubt about how she responded to him. And now he knew if he could find a way for her to stay, she would.

`I don't know how to make it happen,” he thought, “but I will find a way. Kagome will be mine.'