InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Divine Interventions ❯ Revelations In Water ( Chapter 20 )

Chapter 20 Revelations in Water

 

. . .

Take a dive with your sister in the rain,
Let her talk about the things you can't explain.

To touch is to heal,
To hurt is to steal,
If you want to kiss the sky,
Better learn how to kneel On your knees boy!

(Mysterious Ways, U2)

************************************************************** **********

Kagome was already in the water when Sango reached her. Her hair was piled high with a clip on top of her head, and she sat on a submerged rock, her head back and eyes closed.

“Kagome?” Sango said. Kagome opened her eyes slowly. Her eyes were swollen from crying and red-rimmed, promising to spill more tears at any second. She was feeling tears of sympathy stinging in her own eyes for her dearest friend. How could it be that the same young woman who just helped her turn Miroku into jelly would find herself in this kind of predicament?

She climbed down into the water beside her, reached up, and gave Kagome a hug of support.

Kagome did cry again. Sango held her until she was ready to let go and wipe her eyes.

“Damn him and his canine super-senses! I can't believe he could see anything. There isn't any kind of a mark anymore! How could he see something that hasn't been there for almost a year?!”

Sango shrugged. “He is half-demon Kagome, and his senses are much better than ours.”

“Still I can't believe he did that to me-Sango, I've never felt so humiliated in all my life!”

Sango smiled. “Kagome, you shouldn't feel that way. You did nothing wrong. Whatever happened between you and your-uhm, `feeancee' is your business, you're right about that.”

“I still don't understand how he could see THAT. I never wanted anyone to see it,” she said, looking down miserably into the dark water.”

Her friend's comment confused Sango. “Kagome,” she began delicately, “your um, promised mate is full-human, right?” Kagome looked shocked by the question.

“Yes of course! There aren't many demons in my time, you know, and even if there were do you think I'd go out with one?”

“Hmm. . . how should I answer that? I guess it would depend on the type of demon, like a half-dog demon in her time, for instance.” Sango thought.

“No. Of course not. That's not what I meant. It's just unusual what Inuyasha said, that's all.”

Kagome looked puzzled.

“Do humans in your time mark each other when they mate?”

Oh, now she got it. “No!” she said, actually laughing a bit. “What Paul did to me though is pretty common, especially in America, the country he's from. It's called a `hickey.'

“A hickey?” Sango repeated. She didn't like the sound of the word.

“Yeah, it's kind of a stupid, macho, immature high-school thing. If a boy and a girl are making out-“

“Making out?” Sango interrupted.

Kagome could feel herself blushing even though the hot water probably covered it. “Uh, that means kissing and other stuff that sometimes leads to-“

Sango cut her off again with a wave of her hand, nodding an affirmative that she understood and didn't need to be told more.

“. . . .well,” Kagome continued, “sometimes when couples make out one of them gets carried away and just sort of sucks on the other's neck in the same place until a large, dark purple spot appears. It's sort of like a love-bite without biting. Some teens do it as a way to proclaim that the person they are with is off-limits to others or as a way of letting the world now they are `sexual adults.' It's really pretty stupid.”

“I see,” Sango replied, carefully. “So humans in your time do, in fact, mark mates.

Kagome was stupefied. “NO! We don't! I mean, well, not exactly, but sometimes, well, I guess, yeah, they do.”

Her calm demeanor in the face of frank sex talk was quickly faltering.

“Is the neck the only place it's done, or do you mark each other with “hick- keys” in other places?”

Kagome looked at her normally shy, reserved friend, aghast as all color drained from her face.

“SANGO! I can't believe YOU just asked me that!”

“Kagome,” she said quickly, looking away, “I didn't mean to cause you discomfort, I was just curious if it was something that you—“

“NO!—I mean, yes, I suppose a hickey can be given anywhere, but I haven't, I don't, and frankly, I hated it. I never want to sport one on my neck again!”

“Kagome, if you feel this way, why did you let-“

Kagome interrupted her. “I didn't let him Sango. I was passed out, drunk when it happened.”

“Oh," Sango said, tensing and looking down at the water.

Kagome blushed again, realizing she was giving her friend the wrong idea. “Sango, it's not what you're thinking! I don't really drink, ever. Paul took me hiking in this place called `The Grand Canyon.' and at first everything was so amazing.

Sango, There's no place like it on earth. Try to picture a mountain in shades of orange, red, yellows, and brown rocks, and now turn it inside out and stand on top, looking down into a green valley and sparkling blue river below. That's what The Grand Canyon is.”

Sango furrowed her brow, trying to picture a mountain from the inside-out and couldn't do it.

Kagome laughed as her friend's wrinkled brow. “I'll bring you some photos from our trip when I come back so you can see. It's too unbelievable to imagine. Anyway, we spent the day hiking to the bottom and we were camping out under the stars. The stars there are like here, bright and so beautiful. Not like modern Tokyo. Anyway, he brought a bottle of wine, and over the fire and under the stars, I had a glass. It was so romantic. Anyway, I guess I don't handle it very well, because the next thing I remember Paul was, well. . . . excited. He was holding me in his lap, kissing me, and trying to take my shirt off.”

Sango stared at her friend in shock. “Kagome did he . . . .?”

“Oh no! I woke up, and when I realized what we were doing, I asked him to stop and he did, right away. He was a little drunk too, but he was still a gentleman about stopping.”

“Kagome, it doesn't sound like he was a gentleman to me-it sounds like he was taking advantage of you!”

“I know,” she winced. “It sounds bad, but trust me, he was really embarrassed and kept apologizing for it. He sent me flowers each day for two weeks after I got back to Japan, and from America, that is a huge cost.

I had this really huge, ugly hickey on my neck though and it lasted for weeks, probably over a month before the damn thing finally disappeared. It was summertime too, and so trying to wear clothes to cover it was uncomfortable, and believe me, no amount of make-up could hide it. My mother freaked-out when she saw it, and my friends at the dorm gave me hell about having a `hot time' with Chloe's cousin in the states.”

Sango didn't understand everything Kagome just said, but she understood enough. And, in the dark forest canopy above them, Inuyasha understood enough of what had happened to her too.

He was still very-much on edge, his instincts and feelings heightened toward her. Her anger earlier had thoroughly shocked him. He had never seen her act like that, talk like that, or hit like that before. His face still stung from the cut he received from her ring, but not as much as his pride. He had every right to feel the way he felt about sensing that damn mark, especially after making his desire clear to her. He was angered to see the mark, but it was very weak and meant nothing, especially knowing she had never mated. Still, knowing who she had been with was his right. He hadn't expected her response, her anger. He thought her human man meant nothing to her, but when she said he had done this to her and it was none of his business, it sounded like she had decided to mate with him after all.

Her words and her anger made him ache with pain. Did she mean what she said, she really did not want him near her? He felt like he had been run through with his own sword as he watched her leave. Even so, he wasn't about to leave her alone and unprotected. He had promised himself and her that he would look out for her, even if she didn't want to be near him, even if she was choosing her human man. He wasn't about to risk anything catching her unaware before the spell was triggered.

He sat now in a tree above them, eyes glowing. “Sango's right. That bastard took advantage of her. He marked her and he would have done a hell of a lot more if she hadn't woken up when she did. If I ever see this man, I'll make sure he pays for what he did to her. What kind of a sick fuck does that to a woman and why the hell has she forgiven him?”

That was a huge flaw in her personality, he realized. Kagome had always been too forgiving, too eager to see the good and forgive the bad. “Yes, but, if she didn't have that flaw she probably would have stopped talking to you a long time ago. You're counting on that flaw now, aren't you?”

Down below him, Kagome began speaking again: “I still don't understand how that jerk could tell. You can't see a trace of it, so how could he possibly know?” To Kagome, it was creepy, the possibility that he could tell anything about her, even things she didn't care to share with him, just by looking at her.

“Kagome,” Sango began gently and trying not to get Kagome even more upset, “Inuyasha can see it because he wants to see everything about you. He couldn't do this with anyone else, just you.”

“Oh great! How did I get to be so lucky to be targeted by his senses?!”

“You really don't know, do you?”

Kagome looked at her blankly, a little concerned. Above them, Inuyasha stiffened, his ears erect.

“Know what?”

“He's only focused on you because you're the only one he wants. He WANTS you Kagome. He wants you to become his, um-mate.”

Inuyasha sat still, closing his eyes and blushing to his ears. What Sango just said was the truth, and he didn't feel embarrassment about that. He thought he'd been fairly obvious. That was the problem. How could Kagome not know. “Sango shouldn't be the one telling her this,” he thought, feeling embarrassed and even slightly emasculated at his own ineptitude in expressing his intentions.

“At least now she knows why I'm angry about the damn mark.”

As much as he regretted the way she was hearing this, he was relieved that she was finally going to understand. He had been assuming that since earlier in the afternoon when he kissed her and told her to make her decision, he had been so clear about things.

“Maybe it's not my fault. Sango got it, hell, I think they all did. This woman is just dense, that's the only problem!”

Kagome looked at Sango with a blank, shocked expression. “Sango, no,” she said, shaking her head. “That's not right. It can't be.”

“Why, Kagome? Why don't you think he wants you?”

“For one thing, he acts like he hates me, sometimes now worse than ever.”

Sango smiled in understanding as Kagome said this. “And for another,” she continued, “I know he's already promised to Kikyo. It's her he wants, not me.”

At the mention of Kikyo's name, he sat rigid again. So that was it, that was why she wasn't getting this. She believed he loved Kikyo still.

“. . . .Are you sure about that Kagome?”

“Yes, I'm sure,” Kagome quickly answered.

“Are you absolutely sure that's how he feels now?”

Kagome looked at her friend blankly again. Truthfully, she wasn't sure of anything with Inuyasha anymore. He had confused her so much earlier, first exciting her beyond reason by that kiss and then cryptically ordering her to “think about things.” Then he made that incomprehensible threat that he wouldn't wait forever, whatever the hell that meant. But what he had just done was the worst thing imaginable. He had been so cruel, he made her feel dirty and she never, ever wanted to feel that way again, never wanted to remember what it was like when she did feel dirty.

“All those terrible feelings! It wasn't my fault. What happened then wasn't my fault. At least Inuyasha doesn't know about THAT, not all of it anyway.” She shivered in the hot water, trying to push back the nightmares.

“Well,” she answered carefully, “he did kiss me again earlier today, and this time I know it wasn't a friendship kiss either.”

Sango looked at her and smiled, hearing that he had kissed her again, but asked her what she meant by “friendship kissing.”

“Well, in my time, men and women, especially young, unmarried, adults, kiss each other a lot. It's more like a greeting, you know, a peck on the lips or cheek. It's a western custom, but we do it all the time.”

Sango stared in disbelief at her. “Kagome, you do realize that this ISN”T your time, right?”

Kagome looked at her with a slightly offended expression on her face even as she felt herself faltering. “Of course I realize that!”

“Then why would you ever think that if Inuyasha kissed you it could be a `friendship kiss?' Does he even know your customs?”

Overhead, he had to suppress his urge to vocalize what he was feeling. `FRIENDSHIP kisses? She thinks I've been giving her fuckin' `friendship kisses?' Just how the hell many men have kissed her like that anyway?! Damn it! No wonder she's been acting so dense. She thinks I'm still in love with Kikyo and giving her `friendship kisses' like some witless human!”

Kagome realized she had never thought of it like that before. “Was he ever very affectionate with me before I left? I could always tell he cared, but no, there was not much touching and certainly no kissing. So that means. . . . God! What did he think every time I kissed him? I've been making him think I want him and I didn't even know it!”

Kagome gave a little gasp, and dunked her head underwater, completely surprising Sango. When she came up, she was wearing a pained expression.

“Kagome, what's wrong?” Sango asked.

“Sango, I think I've been unintentionally leading him on,” she said, wincing.

“What does that mean, Kagome?”

“It means I've been stupid. I've kissed him a few times and it must have confused the hell out of him. I think I started something with my careless actions.” She shook her head. “He's just trying to do what he thinks I expect or want from him.”

“or worse,” her racing mind added “maybe he just thinks you wan to have a fling with him, and he's happy to oblige you.”

“You mean, you think he's just being nice to you?”

“Well, yeah, I guess so.” “nice to me, nice to himself.” she cringed. “do you really think he'd do that? No. I can't believe that, not of Inuyasha.”

Inuyasha was so stunned by what he was hearing from her, he almost lost his balance. He frantically clutched the branch, determined not to give himself away now, at least not yet. “Yes by all the gods, you're stupid, but not for kissing me! Even if you did just meant it as `friendship.' What's stupid is how much you keep THINKING about this!”

“Kagome,” Sango said, “That just doesn't make sense. Maybe a man from your time would be `nice' to you if he thought you liked him, like that, but not Inuyasha. Manners aren't his strongest quality.

Inuyasha dismissed the insult in her comment. “Thank the gods for Sango. She, at least, makes sense, and understands things.”

Kagome listened intently. “Sango, you're right. Inuyasha can be nice sometimes, even sweet when he wants to, but I guess he wouldn't do that.”

“Finally,” Inuyasha wanted to snort, “she's getting it! I need her to understand so she can answer. I want her to answer me in person, but if I hear her answer like this, I'll still know without doubt it's her true feelings.”

“Then. . . “Kagome began, frowning as her thoughts circled round again, “there can only be one explanation. He's confusing me for Kikyo. He must think from the way I've acted about the kissing that I'm okay with being her stand-in and,” Kagome said, blushing furiously, “that I'm okay with him dating or mating with me until he they can be together.”

Kagome looked down at the water, her features a mixture of sadness and brewing anger. “He's called me Kikyo plenty of times before, but he's never done anything like this. If he thinks he can just use me to pass the time while he waits for her then, Oh, he's got another thing coming!”

Sango began, “Kagome, I think you're still wrong. I don't think he would do that.”

“Maybe not on purpose Sango, but like I said earlier, I think I've confused him. Now I need to straighten things out. He knows I'm engaged to Paul, and even if I wasn't-“

“Kagome,” she urged gently, “don't you think there could be any other reason?”

“No Sango, I don't. I know I've only been gone a month in your time. That means a few weeks ago he was promising his life and love to Kikyo. I know he meant it. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I did hear him. You want me to get it straight that he's not the same as a man from my time. I get that. A man from my time might make a promise to a woman and break it easily, but not Inuyasha. He lives by some freakish code of hanyou chivalry. No, I don't always understand his actions, but I know he would never abandon her. For me, all this happened two years ago, so I've had awhile to accept his feelings.”

Sango looked at her. Kagome's thinking, she had to admit, had a ring of truth to it. As much as she hoped to see her friends happy and could imagine them as a couple, she also had to admit, that she was right about Inuyasha. He wouldn't just forget about Kikyo.

Above them, Inuyasha wanted to jump down at the two women and yell the truth into both their faces, throttle them both. “Of course I'm not abandoning Kikyo! But Kagome, I love you! I love you completely, not as a reminder of Kikyo. I owe Kikyo my help. I did love her, and in a way, I always will. You need to understand that. But all I've wanted for some time is to help her find rest so she can stop devouring souls and walking the earth like an empty vessel. Kagome, you are a living, breathing woman. I want YOU! Can't you see that?”

His claws came away from his head, clutching handfuls of his own long, white hair. He was frustrated and felt his nervousness growing. “If I don't find a way to straighten this out soon, she's could to turn to Michael. I know she already has feelings for him, but how deep do they go?” That thought made his hair bristle.

“Kagome,” Sango said, “if you're right now, it still doesn't mean that he doesn't have feelings for you, too.”

Kagome gave a heavy sigh. “I hope he'll always have feelings for me--fond ones. I'm not a part of his future. He knows that. We even talked about it on the night I gave him my flute. I was so crushed-out on him when I left I thought I'd never get over it.

Again Sango interrupted. “Kagome I'm sorry, but what is `crushed out?'”

“It means,” Kagome said. “I was head-over-heels, crazy in love with him back then. I even told him so the first time I saw him again.”

“You told him THAT?” she asked in complete dismay.

“Well, yes. It was years ago, and I thought he came back to ask me to remove the rosary and give him the last shard so he and Kikyo could get on with their lives together. The time shift caused a lot of misunderstandings. But, you know Sango, I'm not sorry about anything I told him. I left in such a terrible way, and I just wanted the chance to explain and make things right.

Sango thought “If Inuyasha is confused about her, it's no wonder. The whole story is so confusing.”

“So,” Sango asked, “what did you tell him about your feelings now?”

Inuyasha's attention was riveted to the women's conversation anyway, but now he hung on every word.

“I think he understands I have a different life now. I won't lie to you. It was hard to move on. I never forgot about him or any of you. I thought of you every day, but my life in my time isn't like it was when I was a girl. Things are a lot more complicated now, and at least I have real friends now too.“

Sango blinked and visibly paled with hurt. “Kagome, don't you think of us as your real friends?”

“Oh Sango!” she said, rushing over and giving her a hug, “of course I do! The problem when I was younger was that I spent so much time here and studying to pass tests, I didn't have a life in my own time. Now I do. I have responsibilities there too, it's not the same as this quest, but they're real.

Sango nodded in understanding. “Kagome,” she said, “can I ask you something else?”

“Anything,” Kagome said, smiling.

“Do you love the man you plan to marry now?”

This question was met by a thick silence. Kagome looked at her and wrinkled her nose “God Sango, of all the things you could ask, you ask that one!” Kagome ducked her head underwater once more, came up and splashed water at her surprised friend's face.

Sango grinned and splashed her back, but then, to Inuyasha's great relief, Sango brought the conversation back around to the subject-at-hand. “Do you love him?”

“Sango,” she began. “I really don't know anymore. When I met him in America last year, I couldn't believe my luck. Paul's a handsome man, he's studying to be a doctor like me, and he's kind-hearted. I just knew we could be a perfect match. When he told me about the work he's doing at his university specializing in urology and working as a researcher to develop a whole new kind of medicine to stop pain in cancer patients, I thought he was amazing for someone so young. He's only 23 and he's done so much already.”

“Kagome, what does any of that have to do with love?”

“Sango, I think you're the most bottom-line person I know!” Kagome said laughing. “Okay, I'll try to tell you how I feel, but”

Sango interrupted her-“Kagome, if this is difficult for you, I'm sorry. I had no right to question you about such private matters.”

Inuyasha tensed upon hearing this, annoyed with Sango and hoping she hadn't just stopped Kagome from revealing more important information.

“It's okay, really. Actually, I think talking helps, it always helps to talk things out with you. The truth is, I admired Paul for what he was doing in school, but looking back on it, I'm not sure it was enough of a reason to agree to marry him. He asked me almost five months ago, and when I said `yes,' I thought it was the right thing to do. But in the last couple of months, so much has happened, and my life has become something else.”

“You mean because of your protector, Michael.”

Kagome looked at her friend with respect. Even though they were separated in time by 500 years, Sango was intuitive, so understanding of her feelings. She didn't have a friend in her own time she could talk to like this, not even Chloe, not her mother anymore.

Kagome nodded and looked down, “Yes. Sango, can I tell you a secret, something that no one but myself and Michael know?”

Sango looked at her in surprise. “Do you wish to tell me?”

Kagome looked uncertain, but continued. “I think so. It's about how I met Michael.”

Sango nodded, listening intently and Inuyasha felt his own heart-rate spike, waiting and listening.

Kagome sighed, closed her eyes and began. “I hope I can get through this without crying. I really want to tell someone, I think I need to, but. . . .”

“The night I met Michael I was attacked.” Sango nodded, saying that Inuyasha had told them this the first night she came back.

“But there's more to it than he or anybody else knows,” she said. “Only Michael and I know what happened, but now, if you don't mind me imposing, I want to tell you.”

Sango smiled softly and said, “You can tell me anything if it helps you. I care about you and nothing you could say would ever change that, Kagome.”

Kagome smiled and feeling fresh tears coming against her will said, “Thank you, Sango. I think when I saw you again last night that's why I started crying. You're the closest thing I have to a sister, and I've been holding this in for so long. I think I need to tell someone and you're the only person I can tell this to.”

“Kagome, you haven't shared any of this with your mother?”

Kagome shook her head. “No. She doesn't even know it happened. Too much happened too quickly. I couldn't. I was attacked a little over a week after my grandfather died in late December. He was killed by a gang trying to sell drugs at the shrine. Mom and I were at the movies and when we came home, Sota had been shot in the leg and grandpa was dead, a bullet in his chest.”

Sango looked at her and felt herself sicken. “Kagome!” she cried. “I am so sorry!” she said, tears shining in her eyes. If anyone knew what it was like to see family die, Kagome realized, it was Sango.

Kagome smiled and they embraced again, crying together. “Mom was so upset, there was no way I could tell her what happened to me, not so soon after what happened to grandpa and Sota.”

Sango nodded in understanding. Kagome didn't tell her mother to spare her more pain. Kagome was like that, always thinking more of others.

Inuyasha shook his head in disbelief. He had come to understand that her time was just as dangerous in its own ways to humans as this era, and he felt terrible for Kagome and her family hearing what had happened. He wished he could have been there to stop it.

Sango looked at her and said gently, “Do you still want to talk about what happened to you?”

Kagome nodded and pulled away from her. Slowly, she began talking: “I was walking home with my books when I was grabbed and pulled backward into a dark alley. I tried to scream, but the man held a gloved hand tightly over my mouth. I tried to get free, but he was too strong and I couldn't move away from him. I remember being so scared, just so scared, I think a part of me froze. He got me down on the ground, and put something in my mouth so I couldn't scream. Then he tore my clothes with his hands. My shirt and bra were ripped off and my skirt, he had my skirt. . . .”

Kagome stopped a minute, to close her eyes and re-gain some control. She was breathing faster and could feel herself start to shake. She didn't look up at Sango, but continued, talking faster now: “He was over me, on top of me, and he pulled out this knife and held it up to my face, right up to my eyes, turning it back in forth. I remember how long the blade was. I remember the way a light from somewhere gleamed on the metal. I think I knew then. I knew I couldn't stop what was about to happen. He stabbed me through my side, I felt the knife go in, and it hurt, it hurt so much.”

Sango gasped and looked at her. Kagome said nothing, but turned sideways, and lifted her bikini top, showing Sango a jagged, fiendish scar below her left breast that was visible even in the low light.

She gave another gasp. She was horrified by what she saw. “Kagome, this wound, it could have-“

Kagome nodded. “It did. I died that night, Sango,” she said in a whisper.

Sango looked at her and blinked, “No, you didn't. Maybe you almost did, but you're here now. You didn't die.”

“I did. I remember feeling this pain that was so terrible, I wanted it to end, I just wanted everything to end. I felt something warm surround me and knew it was my own blood, leaving me. Then the pain started going away too. As my blood flowed away, the pain was flowing away with it. At first I was scared, I didn't want to die, but then I just knew this was happening and I couldn't do anything about it, so I wasn't scared anymore or even sad. I was lying in my own warm blood, but I was cold, so very cold, I wanted it to be over so I couldn't feel anything anymore, and then it was. Everything went black, and I was gone.”

“Kagome,” Sango said after a moment of silence, “you passed out, it would be natural with that kind of a wound to-“

“No Sango, I died. I felt myself leave my body, saw my body, saw the dark man over me, saw my blood, flowing like a little river out from under me. I knew I couldn't help myself, I was dead. That's when I started feeling this pull, like something willing me to go somewhere. I was floating above myself, leaving, when everything below was suddenly covered in this brilliant, white light, it was like the full light of the sun.

The light was coming from a figure standing behind me and my attacker, but I couldn't see anything through the light. I couldn't even really look at it, it was so bright. There was a terrible sound, like a scream coming from all directions, and then my attacker was gone, only ashes lay scattered on top of my body and all around me, blowing everywhere.

That's when the light came closer. I couldn't see it, but I knew in the center of the light was a tall figure, and somehow I knew it was male. I felt this incredible sense of peace, watching him standing over me, even the force that was pulling at my soul stopped. I just floated above it, watching. That's when the figure looked up at me, or my soul I guess. I felt him and knew he was looking inside me. He called my name and spoke to me in a voice so deep, the words echoed through me. He told me that I had died before I had done what I was put on the earth to do. He said that I had been given a destiny that was greater than my own life and that for almost two years I had been wasting time and running from it. He said he was could give me my life back and give me one more chance to fulfill my destiny. He said that if I came back to life and didn't do what I was meant to do this time, thousands of souls would suffer, but he gave me the choice, I could remain dead, or I could be returned to life. He asked me what I wanted. I don't even know if he spoke aloud or how I answered him, but I know I did. I chose life.

Kagome stopped and stood still in the pool, looking off into the darkness as she recalled that night.

Inuyasha felt himself sicken and chill. He had only thrown up once, right after his mother died, but he thought he might now. He dug his hands into the bark of the tree so deeply than a claw broke off. He felt the pain of it, but only barely. Kagome had died that night of her attack. Her attacker killed her was in the act of. . . raping her. . . He felt waves of nausea and dizziness again, as he fought for balance. As quietly as he could, he jumped down to the forest floor, knowing he was too sick with what he was feeling to stay in the tree. Like Kikyo, Kagome had died. She had died, and just like Kikyo, he hadn't been there to save her. Guilt as sharp as a knife twisted inside him. “If only I could have reached her sooner, if only I could have stopped her from leaving in the first place. . . .”

He slumped down to the ground, allowing his back to rest against the tree. He heard Kagome continue:

“I woke up in the hospital, and Michael was there with me. At first I didn't remember anything. I was lying there, with all kinds of tubes connected to me and it was painful to breath in very deep. A doctor came in and told me it was a miracle I didn't die, that I had lost a lot of blood and the wound almost reached my heart. Michael only said that he was the one who found me and called an ambulance. I think I went in and out of sleep, but when I was sleeping, I remembered what happened.

When I woke up again, Michael was still there. He told me the truth. He said he was an angel, and that he was the one who saved me. He said he was going to be my protector and trainer, and that he was going to stay with me to teach me how to use my powers and get ready to face my destiny when the time came. I healed in days, much quicker than I should have. Michael said he could have healed me instantly, but it wasn't good to use too much of his power at once, that it could hurt me somehow if he did. I was released in less than a week and the doctors said they had never seen anything like it. When I got out of the hospital, Michael came back to my apartment with me. At first my roommate didn't like it much, but he took care of me day and night. Chloe and Michael are friends now, and Michael's never left me since that night.”

Sango listened to her best friend's amazing tale. At first, she was skeptical. She thought the trauma Kagome experienced must have affected her mind. But she knew Kagome and, after witnessing her new powers for herself earlier, and seeing how the necklace that she wore now protected her, Sango realized everything she had just heard was true.

Inuyasha took in the fresh scent of the earth and air, trying to calm his churning stomach. Now he understood what Kagome meant when she said she couldn't choose between himself and Michael. How could she? If only he had known what she had been through, what Michael did for her, he never would have asked her to make that kind of a choice. Michael didn't just save her life as Inuyasha had done before, he gave it back to her. She said she owed her very existence to him and, as angry as that made him at the time, he knew she was right.

He shook his head in amazement. He didn't like the arrogant being who returned Kagome to life, but he owed him a debt he could never repay.

“If Michael hadn't have been there when I wasn't, I would have come back to her grave,” he thought grimly.

Realizing this, another thought came to him. The sensation it brought was as powerful as a physical pain, stinging, like Kagome's earlier slap:

“With all that's happened, do I still have any right to claim her? Michael said he loves her, hell, I can see that with my own eyes. It was him who saved her. He's the one who deserves her love and a life with her now.”

He didn't just think he could get sick, he knew he was. As quickly as could manage, Inuyasha bounded off, deep into the forest. When he was a safe distance away, he allowed the pain inside him to come, wrenching him from the inside out.

He gave himself just long enough to feel steadied and stop shaking. No matter who she belonged to, he would not leave Kagome unprotected, ever. He made that promise to himself and her earlier, and now he felt obligated to Michael too. “If she's to be his, then accept it.” In his own code of honor, Michael had more of a right to be with her than he ever did. Loving her and thinking about freely letting her go to someone else made him ache inside with fresh pain. Still, he could not deny Michael's superior claim. Whatever sort of being an angel was, he was more powerful than any being Inuyasha had known.

Kikyo had been returned to life, but only a shadow-life by the witch's spell. Her soul was trapped in a cold body, sadness and pain were her existence. She could have no joy, no sense of peace, as long as she remained half-living and half-dead.

But Kagome was alive, fully. Her body was healed, and, even though she bore the scars on her body and mind of that night, she was still capable of laughter, love, and joy. He had sensed a sadness in her, and wanted to rid her of those feelings. Now he understood why they were there. She had gone through a horrible ordeal. The fact that she could still laugh and love at all amazed him. She was healing emotionally from what happened to her too, and he knew that Michael was responsible for that as well.

“What can you do but let her go?” his mind asked. Still, from somewhere deep in his stubborn spirit, came a reply: “Is that what she wants?. . . .Can you let go of her without even finding out her heart's desire?”

He approached the springs and heard the women talking, the subject now was Kagome's powers. Sango had asked her why she didn't use her powers to save herself that night. Kagome told her that she didn't know she still had miko powers then, she thought she had lost them when the well closed in her time. She was explaining something else to Sango that was new information:

“Before I left, my powers were unfocused, untrained, and weak. I didn't know how or when they worked, but it was always tied to my emotions.” Sango nodded, remembering this as well.

“When I left, something happened. I was holding a small jewel shard in my right hand and it cut me here,” she said, holding up her hand and showing Sango a thin, white scar in the center of her palm. I never thought much of it, but when Michael started training me, he said that scar was a focal-point for my energies. As I matured, my powers did too, but I didn't know they were there. Somehow, when the jewel shard cut me, it left something behind, some kind of center that my own energy can be drawn to. If I'm really scared, like I was that night, and earlier today with Shippo, it scatters, but other emotions like anger draw the energy. I feel it coming into my hand and flowing through me. It also gathers in my eyes, but only while I'm focusing.”

“But you saved Shippo today,” Sango reminded her.

Kagome nodded. “And I'm more grateful and relived than I can ever say that I could, but I almost didn't. At first I was so scared, so upset, that I tried to leave.”

Sango looked at her, trying to understand. “You were going to run away?” she asked, shocked.

“Yeah,” Kagome laughed bitterly, “I was. Maybe not physically, but my mind was withdrawing, just like it did that night I felt I was dying. I almost blanked out, a part of me wanted to.”

“But you didn't,” Sango said, firmly, her dark eyes meeting Kagome's and holding them.

“No, I didn't. I got angry instead,” she said, giving a small, rueful smile.

“Then maybe your anger is a good thing, something you can use.”

“I don't know,” Kagome sighed, sounding tired suddenly. “I'm trying to train to get beyond it. I know I'll have better control if I can, and it worries me, what I might do, when I can't.”

“Well,” Sango said, “from what I saw earlier today with your shooting, you have amazing control. “I think you gave Miroku an unforgettable demonstration,” she said, smiling a little.

“Yeah, about that. I really am sorry. I promise, from now on, he's completely yours to mess with, and I promise you, I'd never do anything to really hurt him.”

Sango laughed now. “Kagome, I know. I'm the only one who wants to bash him from time to time.”

Kagome grinned back at her. “I think you may want to do more to him then just bash him sometimes.”

This time, Sango splashed her first. Kagome laughed, enjoying the simplicity of the moment with a friend she could trust. She suddenly sat up and glanced around into the surrounding darkness. Inuyasha felt himself panic. Had she sensed him? No, she hadn't. He knew there were no other dangers near her, so he wondered what had made her turn. It was as if she was making sure she and Sango were absolutely alone. She turned back to Sango and almost whispered, “Michael wouldn't be happy with me, if he knew about this, but I'll show you something. Just don't look at my eyes until I'm done, she said, her lips curved in a secretive smile.

She closed her eyes and held out her hands, palms down, above the water. As she stood there, Inuyasha felt energy, almost like lightning in the air, gather around her. She leaned her head back and opened her eyes. He watched her body arch in the water as the energy moved through her, causing her chest to rise.

The sight of her like this did something incredible to him. He felt his excitement grow, his muscles tighten and groin thicken and grow rock hard. Her energy was enticing, raw and surprisingly sensual. She was pure radiance.

He watched as the entire spring lit up, the water glowing like it was lighted from below. The water held a light of its own now, and shone a deep, clear blue.

Sango gasped in delight. “Oh Kagome! It's beautiful!” she said in astonishment. She swam away from her a little, gazing down at her now visible arms and legs within the blue water.

“Kagome, will doing this drain too much of your energy?” she asked in sudden concern.

Kagome smiled. “No. I've done this kind of thing before when I know I'm alone. It's relaxing and once I focus, I can do keep this going without really thinking about it. It's when I'm angry or upset that the energy drains me, not like this.”

The women laughed again as Kagome splashed glowing water at Sango. Despite himself, Inuyasha was now entranced. He wished he could swim with her like this. He smiled, watching the magical and idyllic scene below.

Finally, Sango brought the conversation back to seriousness. “Kagome, what are you going to do about Inuyasha?”

Kagome swam beside her and took her place back on the rock. She sat down and twisted her wet hair back up on top of her head, pinning it in place with her clip.

“I don't know Sango. I'm still really angry with him for the scene back at Kaede's. . . ,” she began, “but, thanks to you, I know at least why he's been acting so strange, and now it makes sense. I think I'm to blame for the misunderstanding and confusion. Like I said, I accepted a long time ago that he and Kikyo are meant for each other. I think my recent actions are the reason he's confused.

If he thinks he wants me in any way, I know it's just because I remind him of her, and because I conveyed something to him I didn't mean to. I was just so happy to see him again, I forgot that people in this time, not to mention our favorite dog-demon, don't demonstrate feelings in the same ways I'm used to. I've embarrassed myself with him all over again, and now I'll have to apologize for it.”

Sango gave her a sympathetic look and she added, “Besides, now I don't know what he thinks of me. He was really angry about Paul's hickey, and I slapped him, hard. I think I might have even cut him with the ring.”

Sango smiled. “I think he deserved the slap,” she said with conviction. “No matter what he was thinking, he shouldn't have embarrassed you like that. His actions may be understandable, but that doesn't excuse them.”

Kagome shook her head. “He never deserves to be hurt. I never want to hurt him again. Maybe it would be easier if I just told him that he was right about the mark and that I'll be marrying Paul as soon as possible. I as much as told him that when I was yelling at him anyway.”

Sango agreed, and suggested maybe this would be the simplest, least embarrassing explanation for both of them.

Inuyasha shook his head and smirked. “Stupid women. Kagome doesn't know I'll always be able to tell when she's lying.” He felt bad that once again, she was willing to blame herself for everything, and wanting to apologize to him. “It was me who tried to force her to choose, me who initiated the issue of mating. And still, she doesn't understand that I love her.”

He felt a deep sadness thinking that his feelings for her, as painful as they were, were so easily dismissed and explained away by her as his “confusion.” “She really doesn't understand me, but knowing what I know now, perhaps that's for the best that she never knows. If she belongs with Michael now, not me. . . .”

“Kagome,” Sango asked suddenly, “What is it you really want? If you could choose right now, how would you?”

Despite the doubts he was feeling, this was it--the answer Inuyasha had been waiting to hear. He stood up in the tree, listening and watching her intently:

Kagome shook her head and laughed ruefully. “Sango, what I want isn't possible. It doesn't even matter anymore. I can't afford to think about things like that. What matters to me most right now is keeping my promises. I want to see Inuyasha happy. He deserves that and I will do whatever it takes to make the jewel whole again and defeat Naraku so he can be happy. That's crucial to all of us, but if you ask me what my heart wants, all that remains there is my desire to see him happy. Once I do that, I can return to my time and face whatever it is that I'm supposed to do then.”

Inuyasha was stunned beyond belief. Of all the ways he could imagine her answering, this answer he never would have guessed. He gazed down at her delicate form, his feelings for her overpowering him. “This is what this woman cares most about? MY HAPPINESS?” He looked at her and realized as much as he thought he understood her, she was still a mystery to him.

He felt something else too, hearing her true feelings spoken aloud—like threads tightening around his heart, tethering to her even tighter. His love for her was even deeper, intensified by knowing that his happiness mattered to her this much. Maybe Michael had a stronger claim, but it meant something, didn't it, that she felt this way? “What if she knew what would make you happy? Are you going to let go of her without telling her that?”

Sango smiled at her friend and nodded her understanding. It wasn't that Kagome had said it, but her friend's feelings were clear enough. She loved Inuyasha. With everything that had happened in her life, he was still the one, the only one, she loved. Her love for him was so true, so pure, that she put his interests and wants above her own entirely. “Could there be any way for them to be together?” Sango wondered.

“Kagome, what do you think you will do when this is over and you return to your time?”

Kagome frowned for a minute and said, “I don't know. I still want to be a doctor if that's possible. I have an obligation to Michael though, and I'll probably do more spirit-fighting.” She looked suddenly very sad and added, “Unlike this quest, there's no visible ending to the misery that exists in my time.”

Sango asked her what she meant and she explained a little about spirit-fighting.

“Even Michael says he doesn't know what these beings are and where they come from. They are not like demons or anything else you can fight with a weapon. They are energies so vast, so dark, they can't be stopped or contained. They just keep growing, taking more victims all the time. The most we can do is try to stop the killings and set some of the innocent souls they hold free.

Even in the glowing, warm water, Sango chilled thinking about this. She couldn't even imagine something as horrible as what Kagome was describing, and, from the sound of it, this was growing in her time.

“Kagome, what's to become of your world if these beings can't be stopped?”

Kagome shook her head and looked dismal. “I don't know. Michael is not the only spirit-fighter. There are others, and ones in training, like me, but so far no way has been discovered to stop them. Their hatred is stronger than love, their evil stronger than goodness. Sango, to be near these beings is to feel a hatred and a rage that burns anything it touches. They don't have a reason or motive, no plan. They are like a fungus that exists only to rot the living and grow. I've never felt anything like it, and without Michael's protection, I couldn't do it. When we fight these things, there isn't even a battlefield to meet on. They exist outside of time, in their own time. Entering their realm always means you may not find your way back out.”

Sango looked at her completely shocked. “Do you think there's even a chance, given what you've told me?”

Kagome looked back at her and smiled, meaningfully, “Yes. There is always a chance. I have to believe that, even if I have no real reason to. During my last fight, I saw the spirit of this little girl trapped by one of these beings. She had been dead a long time, and her energy was colored by so much sorrow. I tried to give her a channel of escape with my own energy while Michael fought the darkness that was all around her. It was one of the most powerful of these beings we've ever fought. I reached out to the girl, I remember her haunted face, her huge, sorrowful eyes. When I smiled at her and tried to reach her, she spoke to me. It was the only time a spirit had ever spoken to me in one of these fights. She said she couldn't leave, not while the darkness that trapped her was in so much pain. I tried and tried to get her to come, I think I could have freed her, but she refused. I've thought a lot about that child since then. Even though she was being crushed by the weight of the evil that held her, she wouldn't leave. She actually wanted to help the evil that trapped her, cried for its pain. I can't explain why, but that girl gave me a small sense of hope, a new reason to find an answer to getting rid of this evil.”

Inuyasha was deeply troubled by this story. He hadn't realized how great a threat these spirits were to her time and world. More strongly than ever, he had a deep instinct to keep her away from this threat, to find a way to keep her safely here.

“I guess demon fighting seems like a soak in the hot springs compared to what waits for you in your world,” Sango said, still horrified by Kagome's story.

Kagome didn't respond, she was looking far off. A horrible fear took hold of her. She felt she was standing on a razor's edge, close to an epiphany, and it was the sense of a knowledge just beyond the grasp of her mind that terrified her. “Demons. . . .Why aren't there more demons in my time? What happened to all the demons? What happened to INUYASHA?!'

“Kagome! Kagome! What's wrong?” Sango looked worried, she had been talking and Kagome was not responding. It was as if she was in some kind of a trance.

Inuyasha grew alarmed as well. “What's wrong with her? Why isn't she answering Sango?" He tensed, ready to jump down if something was really wrong with her.

Suddenly, Kagome, heaved herself out of the water and ran to her beach bag, emptying the towels and the rest of the contents on the dark ground. The light from the water was all she had to see by as she searched, frantically.

“Kagome! What are you doing? What's wrong?!”

Kagome still didn't answer, she found what she was looking for. Her waterproof, plastic yellow case. She hadn't used it or thought of it for over a year; it had been forgotten at the bottom of her beach bag. She noticed it earlier back at Kaede's, realizing she hadn't thought about it or seen it since her trip to America.

“They have to be here!” she said suddenly, twisting open the cap.

“Kagome, what are you talking about?!”

She dumped the contents of the case into the grass, coins, bills, a small eyeglasses screwdriver. Her fingers felt frantically in the grass for what she was looking for. She found them, the two small white tablets, their shape and feel distinct among the grass. Without hesitation, she picked one up. Sango and Inuyasha watched as she brought her hand to her mouth. She quickly swallowed.

She breathed a sigh of relief and quickly lowered her chilled body back into the water.

“Kagome?” Sango asked. “What happened? Why did you do?”

“I'm sorry Sango, I didn't mean to scare you,” Kagome replied, not really looking at her. “I have to do something now. I'll explain later, okay?”

Sango looked at her friend, baffled. She nodded and walked to the edge to get out of the water, expecting Kagome to follow her. Sango turned around as she started to climb out and saw Kagome wasn't moving. Her head was tilted up and her eyes were closed. She had her arms raised above her to he sky, palms up. Kagome opened her eyes, and Sango saw the white-light that pulsed from her eyes, before she sent a stream of light-blue energy straight heavenward.

“Kagome!” Sango yelled. It only lasted a second. A light rain began to fall in the aftermath of the energy, drops hitting the surface of the water. Kagome opened her eyes and seemed to be all right. “Kagome, why did you do that?” Sango asked, rounding on her.

Kagome's eyes were open, but once again, she wasn't hearing. She walked away from Sango, toward the center of the springs. At the drop-off point, she began swimming and made her way to the center of the lighted pool. Sango watched her, confounded by her friend's actions.

Up above, Inuyasha was still tensed. Why the hell did she just send energy to the sky and what was she doing now?

Kagome leaned backwards and, bringing her legs up, floated on her back in the middle of the spring. As her hair spilled all around her, like a black curtain, she closed her eyes as rain hit her face. She was focusing and willing her system to feel the effects of the pill immediately.

“Michael. . . .Michael! Can you hear me? Michael I need you! Please hear me!”

“Kay?. . . Is that you?”

“Yes, Michael it's me, I need to talk to you.”

“Kay, how the bloody hell are you doing this? You've never connected to me like this. It shouldn't be possible across time.”

“Michael, I need your help, now. I need to know , what happens to the demons in my time? What happens to Inuyasha and Shippo? What happens to all the demons? I've only seen one or two demons in my time, ones I've never seen here. Why is that?”

“Kay, I don't know what happens to the demons. I've never thought about it. Love, why is this so bloody important?”

“I don't know Michael, I just don't know, but I have a terrible feeling about this! Please Michael, can you help me, can you find out what happens in my time?”

“Kay, something's happening to your energy. Something's coming. You have to break-off, now!”

“Michael-promise me you'll find out what happens!”

“Break the connection Kay, right NOW!”

“Promise me!”

“I promise love, now go!-“

Inuyasha and Sango watched as the glowing water turned suddenly black again. As Kagome's energy left the water, Sango watched her sink below the surface.

“Kagome!” she screamed, jumping in and swimming frantically to where Kagome had been floating just an instant before.

Inuyasha hesitated only a second, waiting to see if she would resurface. Sango dove, came back up for a quick breath, and dove again.

Tearing off his coat and sword, Inuyasha dropped from the tree straight into the water. Sango resurfaced and looked at him saying only “I can't find her!” before taking a breath and going back under.

Inuyasha dived and underwater, opened his eyes. It was dark, but he could see where humans couldn't. He saw Kagome's dark form, resting at the bottom of the spring. He dove down and found her leg tangled in dense, slimy weeds. He pulled hard, freed her, and, grabbing her under the chest, carried her to the surface.

Sango saw he had her and cried in relief as he carried her unconscious form from the water. He laid her down in the grass, watching her. She wasn't breathing. He pushed down on her chest, and she coughed , water expelling from her mouth and nose. She was breathing again, but it was shallow, like her pulse.

He spoke to, called her name, shook her. She didn't wake and remained limp. “She's breathing, so she should be alright. Why won't she wake?”

“Sango!” he called. “I'm taking her back to Kaede's!” He normally wouldn't have bothered to say anything, but he saw how worried she was about Kagome. He didn't wait though for her response. He wrapped her in his coat, sheathed his sword, and gathering her in his arms, leapt above the copse and through the dark sky, speeding back to Kaede's.