InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Divine ❯ Chapter Five ( Chapter 5 )

A/N: Still holding your breath? Good, because you're gonna have to keep holding it. I'm a little behind schedule here…

Divine

Chapter Five

"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell."

Joan Crawford

There may have been a blizzard raging in the Sengoku Jidai, but the heat wave was still as strong as ever in Modern Tokyo. And if the evening had been a little hot, then by the time midnight was rolling around, it was sticky, humid and unbelievably dangerous… in a sexual sense, of course.

"I think I would have preferred the blizzard…" Inuyasha yawned sleepily. He was currently stretched out along the floor in front of the TV, watching some subtitled foreign comedy with a lot of canned laughter that made little to no sense.

"Me too…" Although, Kagome would have preferred to sit in a blizzard for different reasons. She was overheating, and even with so many windows open, there was very little breeze to carry the fresh air through the house. This left Kagome in a sticky heap at the low rising table behind Inuyasha, watching the Hanyou's heavy breathing and the sweat glistening in a fine sheen across his skin. Unconsciously, she found herself licking her dry lips and imagined other scenarios that would make her favorite Hanyou sweat.

What the… since when did her mind get as perverted as Miroku's?!

Kagome gave herself a mental shake and a firm slap for good measure. Her virginity was in danger with some serious 'repercussions' afterwards - she couldn't begin fantasizing about Inuyasha at such a crucial moment!

But those thoughts evaporated like water on a hot plate as she heard Inuyasha give an uncomfortable noise in the back of his throat… and began to shrug out of his thick fire-rat-fur haori. Kagome stared openly as he discarded the garment and tugged apart the folds of his white shirt - letting the air bath his skin… as well as Kagome's gaze.

Doomed… I'm so doomed… Kagome withered slightly and let her head fall against the table with a bang. Inuyasha was no help at all - lying there and groaning and looking so damp and sexy that he probably belonged in a male cologne commercial…

He's seducing me - I know it! Kagome decisively and began to stand up. I need to get out of here before anything weird happens…

"Where are you going?" Inuyasha demanded no sooner had she put one foot towards the door. Typical.

"I'm going to the kitchen." She told him, familiar with Inuyasha's strange obsession to know where she was at every second of the day.

"Why?"

He also had this bizarre need to know the details behind all the places she went to, as well. Kagome sighed. "To get something to eat."

As if on cue, Inuyasha's stomach gave a loud rumble that Kagome heard even in her place on the other side of the room. Inuyasha rolled onto his stomach, lethargically. "Get me something as well."

"What do you want?" As if she needed to ask. "Ramen, perhaps?"

Inuyasha pulled a face. "Nah… too hot for ramen…"

Kagome tripped - even though she was stationary - and collided with the doorway, gripping the frame for support. "What did you say?" she stared at him in horror. Surely something terrible was wrong! When Inuyasha passes up ramen then the world must be ending…!

"Do you have anything else?"

Kagome tried to collect her thoughts after her shock. "Um… yeah… let me go check…" she pattered off into the kitchen and opened the fridge. "We have… surprisingly little to eat…" Her family must have taken most of the food with them on their trip.

"Well, what is there?" Inuyasha called from the living room.

"Um… some miso soup… a few leeks… a radish… and ooh - some leftover chocolate fudge cake!" Kagome nabbed the cake. "Do you want some of that?"

"Uh… not really…"

Kagome shrugged. His loss. "What do you want then?"

"Any ramen left?"

"I thought you said it was too hot for ramen?"

"I can take the heat."

Kagome smiled to herself as she set the chocolate cake on the table and went about fixing up some ramen - all the while planning and fretting and reassuring and planning some more…

One night. This was one night alone with Inuyasha… and she would not let it ruin her…

So Kagome took her time making the ramen - making sure the water was just the right temperature and making sure that it had been stirred just enough to soften the noodles to the precise degree of softness. Then, taking a deep breath, she picked up her plate of cake and Inuyasha's cup of ramen and headed off into the living room. "Here you go!" she said amiably as she set both down on the low table.

Inuyasha managed to pick himself up off the floor and shuffle to where she'd put his cup… Kagome was almost sorry she hadn't thought to give him the cup on the floor - at least that way he wouldn't have been sitting so close in all his smolderingly masculine glory.

Just shut up and eat, girl, Kagome told herself as she began to tuck into the cake. But for some reason she couldn't get the sexual thoughts out of her head. She kept having visions of them abandoning their food - and satisfying their hunger in other ways… on the table… on the floor… she even had a rather vivid soundtrack of how it might sound.

It must have been the heat getting to her head…

She banished the images with a firm flick of her head… but the sounds wouldn't leave. It was almost as if she could her own groans in the room with them. "Oh… oh… harder… oh… Daisuke…"

Wait - who the hell was Daisuke?

Kagome's eyes jerked up and landed on the TV… and her jaw went completely slack.

"Inuyasha… why are we watching porn?" she managed hoarsely.

Inuyasha was completely engrossed with it. "You what?"

"Porn! Why is it on the TV?!"

"How am I supposed to know - I didn't make the stupid device!" he shot back, tilting his head as he chewed his ramen and watched the gyrating couple at the same time. "That thing with the laughter ended and then this came on."

"But we were watching the Family Network - they don't show porn!" Kagome found it hard to tear her gaze away - even if she was horribly horrified… she was also a little intrigued. "You must have changed the channel!"

"I didn't change anything." Inuyasha shrugged, tipping his head the other way. "Do you think they're actually going at it?"

"I don't know - I don't want to know!" Kagome winced. "But… probably… now change the channel!"

"Why?"

"Why?!" Kagome spluttered at him. Why?! Because fate is trying to force us together against our will and by watching this we are letting fate win!! "Because it's dirty and gross - it's disgusting! Turn it off!"

Once more, Inuyasha shrugged and set down his ramen to shuffle back towards the TV set. "How do you 'change the channel' then?"

"You push that little green button with the arrow - but make sure you don't press the black button with the red arrow otherwise it short fuses and-"

Bzzzzt!

"…and… it does that." Kagome watched Inuyasha scoot back as the television set coughed up a small puff of smoke and the images died on screen. "Well done, Inuyasha." She said dryly.

"What - I pressed the green button!"

"Sure you did…"

"I did!"

"Yeah, well it's short circuited now. Only Souta knows how to fix it when it does this…" Kagome sighed. There went a wonderful way of diverting Inuyasha's attention off herself. Maybe she should have just let him keep the porn on…?

"Doesn't matter." Inuyasha slid back to his pot of ramen. "We'll just have to make our own entertainment tonight. Oh, Kagome, did you just choke on something?"

Yes, your choice of words! Kagome coughed and spluttered and thumped her chest a few times. "I'm fine." She wheezed and tried to hide her burning cheeks.

"You've got something on your cheek." Inuyasha commented.

Never mind…

"Some of that cake, I think." He added.

"Oh…" Kagome felt her blush recede a little as she started swiping at her cheek. "Is it gone?"

"Still there."

Kagome tried again. "How about now?"

Inuyasha still stared at her cheek. "Nope." He reached out a hand. "Here, let me try…"

Kagome stiffened as she felt his thumb wipe gently against her cheek, along her cheekbone. He did it several times, but by the look of puzzlement on his face, it wasn't working. "Still there?" she asked.

"Yeah…"

"I'll just go get a cloth from the kitch-"

"Don't bother."

And just like that, he had leaned over nice and close with one hand supporting her chin (although on retrospect it was probably to keep her from flinching back). Kagome sucked in a sharp gasp as his face got awfully close to hers… and she braced herself speedily for a kiss, preparing to stop him…

But his lips missed hers and hovered over her cheek instead. His searing tongue darted out and swept across her skin in a quick flick, startling her into dumbness. His tongue was like a brand against her already burning cheek.

Scenario #5: The "There's something on your face!" Scenario… (yeah, we've never heard of it either...)

Kagome was quite unprepared for the sudden shot of electricity that raced down her body to meet between her legs. Unconsciously, she clenched her thighs against the powerful sensation… but it had spread through her body like a tidal wave, centering around her breasts and the pit of her stomach like coiling tendrils of smoky pleasure.

She'd never felt anything like it before.

Inuyasha pulled back, but only very slightly, enough to see her face. She could smell the spice from the ramen on his breath… and she licked her lips again, knowing that she would be able to taste it if she kissed him now.

This was nothing like before - when he had kissed her in the spring. The tender touches to her brow and her lips had made her head feel warm and fuzzy… and it amazed her that something so simple strange as the sensation of his tongue against her cheek had rocked her to the core. She felt no warm fuzzies, only an incredible urge to force Inuyasha to the ground and have her way with him.

Inuyasha's thoughts were very much on the same line. Perhaps he had only told her that there was something on her cheek to wind her up, but suddenly the opportunity had presented itself and he'd been unable to pass it up. He had watched as her tongue had traced her lips and had smelt the primitive arousal that permeated her very skin. Her mouth may have told him that she wasn't ready, that she didn't want him to touch her - but her body was crying out for it and her eyes screamed for him to do something more.

He wanted nothing more than to push her to the floor and give her what she wanted, even if her lips protested, he would soon bring them around.

"Inuyasha…?" she whispered his name softly, as if asking him what he was thinking…

But of course, his thoughts ran along the lines of her whispering his name again - and again, and again, as he drowned in her being.

Well, she only had to look down at his lap and find out for herself.

By some miracle, her gaze didn't wander any further south than his chin - yet something still frightened her off, when she tore away from him with a jerk. "Oh - I, uh - left the bath running - I have to go!"

"What do you mean you left the bath-?!" But she was already gone from the room, dashing up the stairs so fast anyone would think Sesshomaru was on her tail. Inuyasha was left blinking after her, wondering what on earth he'd done to scare of off… other than lick her cheek.

Maybe he'd just given her a bad flashback to Mistress Centipede…?

More likely, she was being a prude again. Inuyasha sighed and went back to conjuring dark, disturbing and dangerous images to fight the raging arousal he was suffering.

Sesshomaru in drag… no wait, wasn't he already in drag?

Naraku in drag… although, not a disturbing as it might sound.

Jakotsu in… hang on…

With a groan Inuyasha slumped over the table. Hardly anything he could think of could turn him off - as a male, everything was designed to turn him on.

"Just have to go and find some cold water…" he muttered to himself and wandered off into the kitchen.

Think of cold, cold water… Naraku in a bikini… Sesshomaru in a bikini… no, they're actually quite sexy when you get down to it… what about… Jaken in a bikini? Bingo!

It was never a brilliant idea to go for a short sprint in such hot weather - even if it was only up the stairs. Kagome crouched against her bedroom door, panting and fanning her face with one of her school textbooks. This was really too much… and the heat did nothing to stem her attraction towards Inuyasha.

She couldn't remember a time when she'd felt more aware of him, more tuned to every move he made, every word he said (or grunted), and every time he looked at her she wanted to melt into his arms.

It must have been the powers-that-be. There was no way she would normally be falling this hard - there must have been some kind of divine intervention going on. The weather was working against her, heating her already roaring blood, and everyone and everything seemed intent on leaving them alone.

But Kagome still had no intention of losing her virginity without a fight. She wasn't fate's plaything! She had her own mind and Kagome would decide when Kagome was to have sex, no one else - super power or not. She would survive in a confined space with Inuyasha without resorting to carnal acts - and that was that!

"Kagome - there's no cold water!"

Kagome grimaced and pulled the bedroom door open a crack. "What?"

"There's no cold water - both taps are running hot." He was still down stairs by the sound of it.

Kagome sighed and got to her feet. "Boiler's probably on the fritz because of the heat…" she said, more to herself than Inuyasha. "Don't worry," she called back to him. "I'll go check it out."

The boiler had a little room unto itself, just big enough to house itself and a few racks of towels opposite the boiler. Kagome pulled open the door and stepped into the small, claustrophobic space. There was no light, so she had to grope around in the stuffy room until she came to the control panel.

Kagome took the flashlight that the family kept beside the panel whenever they needed to adjust the settings, and flicked it on to shed some light on the controls. Everything appeared to be normal… and the boiler was only designed to heat one tank only one of the two tanks of water, so why were both containing hot water?

Must have been the weather…

Or fate was working in it's mysteriously annoying way again.

"What are you doing?"

Kagome yelped and flattened against the far wall - which wasn't far enough in Kagome's opinion. She flashed her light on Inuyasha's face, who winced in response and shielded his eyes. "What are you doing - trying to blind me?!"

"Who said you could come in here?!" she demanded, as if he needed permission to enter the shrine that was the boiler room.

"I wanted to see what you were doing." Inuyasha said defensively. "And to tell you not to bother - I don't need the cold water , anymore."

Kagome's eyes narrowed. "Why not?" she kept the flashlight pinned on his face like an interrogator.

"Well I thought of Jaken in… uh… I just don't, ok?" he huffed.

"Well then," she lowered the flashlight. "Let's get out of this room before the heat suffocates us."

Inuyasha backed up obligingly…

…and collided with the door and slammed it shut in the process. "Woops?"

Kagome clicked her tongue in irritation and moved past him to open it again… only… there was no handle on this side… and the lock seemed to have jammed… "Uh… I can't open it…" she clawed at the door rim, trying to pry it open… but it was useless…

So Kagome began kicking it instead, beginning to get desperate as a new sense of doom pressed over her head.

Scenario #6: The "Trapped in a Confined Space" Scenario…

"Let me," Inuyasha set the crazy kicking girl aside in order to dig his claws into the frame. He pulled, but the door was still jammed tightly. Well… no matter. He only had to give it one sound punch and they'd be free… except, perhaps Kagome would then have to buy a new door what with this one in several hundred pieces. "Kagome, if you want I can… uh… Kagome?"

Looking back at the schoolgirl, Inuyasha was fairly shocked to realize that she was actually crying. The flashlight dropped to the floor with a bang and turned off automatically, plunging them into darkness. "What the hell's the matter with you?!" he demanded loudly, fearing he'd done something wrong… again.

"Isn't it obvious?!" she cried, shuttering her hands over her face. He could just about see her through the dim light that entered through the crack beneath the door. "Look at us! We're trapped in here and it's hot and it's sticky and we probably won't be able to get out till morning!"

"Well… we've had worse… right?" Admittedly, it was a little too hot in the boiler room… but he'd suffered inside the stomach of a cannibal - this was nothing compared to that.

"That's not the point!" Kagome shrieked and sank to her knees so fast that Inuyasha reckoned her legs had given away. "We're going to have sex, aren't we?!"

Inuyasha stiffened. He fought the urge to back into the door and just stared at the weeping girl with shock. "What…?" he said slowly.

"Oh, don't act so shocked!" she yelled at him. "The past week has been filled with nothing but scenarios all leading to this! It's impossible! I've lost count of the times when we've both been separated from the others over the last few days - just so we might do it! We haven't had any decent alone time since volume two!"

"Excuse me?"

"Maybe I'm a complete fool for trying to avoid the inevitable… because look where it got us…" she sniffed and held up her arms to him, like she was waiting for him to come to her. "In that case, let's just get it over with."

Inuyasha continued to stare at her, almost certain that a few screws had been knocked loose in her head. She was giving small hiccupping sobs, and tears were still spiking around her eyelashes. Normally, Kagome asking for him to take her would have had him skipping into her arms with pleasure… but right then, Inuyasha couldn't imagine a less sexy scene. Kagome forcing herself to accept him… now that was far worse than Jaken in nothing but a fundoshi.

"We don't… have to have sex, you know…?" Inuyasha said slowly to the sniffling girl.

"Yes we do," she hiccupped. "They want us to."

"Who?" Inuyasha scowled.

"Them." She jerked her chin upwards. "Fate!"

At this, Inuyasha laughed. "You're crazy! I hardly believe in that stuff. Fate… yeah, right. Fate has no say in our lives, we decide how we end up." In truth, the thought of a predetermined ending to their journey and lives unnerved him. The thought that Naraku might be destined to win, no matter what tricks their group tried to pull was a disheartening one.

But then… if fate truly didn't exist, then why had he lost Kikyo… and then been graced with her reincarnation who he should never have met in his lifetime, five hundred years away from hers?

Had Kikyo cheated fate by dying her unnatural death? Now fate was getting it's own back by providing him with Kagome… a girl who essentially was Kikyo, to the point where they shared the exact same soul, even if their personalities were on completely different levels…

Inuyasha kept these thoughts to himself. He would only upset Kagome if he voiced them. He knew she hated any and all associations she had with the undead miko…

Still… he didn't believe in fate. He controlled his destiny and he would defeat Naraku one day, whether fate liked it or not, and he would get the girl too. Eventually, any way. But not now…

The thought of sex seemed to terrify her.

"Fate has no control over our lives." He told her as he crouched down before her. "There is no one out there trying to make us… you know… it's all in your head. We've always had a lot of alone time together - you just haven't noticed."

Kagome frowned slightly. Perhaps he was right… she sometimes believed in fate - she knew it was probably fate which had brought her through the well to meet Inuyasha… but somehow, fate trying to get her laid was beyond even Kagome's comprehension. Ayumi was just a fifteen year old schoolgirl - how accurate were her palm readings supposed to be anyway?

She began to relax. "Maybe you're right…" she said softly. "I think I've been letting myself get carried away."

"But even so…" she felt, rather than saw him frown in the darkness. "Why are you so scared of it?"

"Of what?" she asked.

"Of sex."

"Well… because…" Kagome's voice was a mere whisper. "I'm a virgin…"

"So?" he shrugged.

Kagome's eyebrow ticked. "What do you mean 'so'?! It's a big deal for a virgin to give her first time away!"

"There's a first time for everything - and the first time shouldn't be a big deal!" he retorted. "Did you worry so much before you had your first breath of real air? Was it such a big deal the very first time you fell over and scraped your knee? Do you even remember the first time you did a lot of stuff? Sex is no different. You're overestimating it, Kagome."

Kagome gaped at him. "But it is different!" she snapped. "Sex is something intimate and profound and something you should only do with someone you really care about - it's an expression of love and true emotion and no one ever forgets their first time!"

Inuyasha snorted and shook his head. "Like I said, you're blowing it out of proportion. Yes, it's good fun, but sex is really only just one more thing to do together. It doesn't change anything. It's no way near as profound as you're making it out to be."

"You sound like a proper stud." Kagome said testily. "How would you know so much? Have you had it before?"

"No."

"Then… you're a virgin too?"

"Sure."

Kagome frowned and moved to hug her knees. "Fate can go jump off a cliff… there is no way that I'm having sex with such an insensitive moron like you."

"I'm not being insensitive, I'm just telling it like it is." He told her shortly. "No wonder you're getting so afraid of intimacy when you think it's such a big deal. It's not. Take Miroku for example; he knows that sex is just sex and he doesn't hold it in reverence, meaning he enjoys it freely. Still… he might be enjoying the casual stuff a little too much…"

"That's different - Miroku is a pervert! He'll hump anything that moves."

"And if it doesn't move, he'll probably hump it 'till it does." Inuyasha agreed.

"So you think sex is just sex? Like Miroku? Then how come you aren't hopping into bed with every woman you meet, then?" Kagome pointed out.

"If you haven't noticed," Inuyasha said flatly, "Not many women - demon or human - are racing to hop into anything with me. I haven't particularly found the urge to 'do it' with anyone I've met so far."

Kagome looked up at him, her tears beginning to dry/ "What about Kikyo?" she asked.

"Maybe. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it." He said quietly.

"Do you still think of her now… in that way?

There was a long pause before he answered. "I always think of her… but not the way you mean… not since she died."

Well… there was a relief. "And what about me?" her mouth asked without getting permission from her brain. "Do you think of me in that way?"

"Always." He seemed to say it without thinking about it… then he fell quiet.

A thrill of excitement - or fear - swept through her chest. "Really…?"

Rather than reaffirm his first statement, he turned the interrogation on her instead. "What about you? Surely you're not all that pure… you must think about sex too."

Don't remind me… Kagome had to quickly remember Jaken's bathing wear to keep her mind on the rails. "Sometimes…" she said.

"Who do you think about?" Inuyasha's voice was soft, just as silky as his hair. It sent a shiver down her spine, and Kagome was willing to bet he had put that voice on deliberately.

"Hojo."

"Hojo?!" Inuyasha's hand suddenly flew out to grasp one of the shelves holding a few piles of towels. "Who the fuck's Hojo?!"

"My admirer." Kagome said lightly, happy that she'd managed to make him squirm.

"Oh… that guy." Inuyasha growled, his claws beginning to splinter the wooden rack he was gripping. "I thought you weren't interested in him." That's what her friends had said, anyway.

"Oh, not really…" Kagome shrugged. "But who else is there to think about?"

Jealousy and possessiveness got the better of him. He knew she was probably only trying to wind him up, but the thought of Kagome panting after anyone other than himself was a mental picture that Inuyasha just didn't want to see. Besides, he instinctively knew one way to force himself into her thoughts…

"Whoa - what are you-"

Kagome spluttered as she found herself suddenly dragged into Inuyasha's lap. He didn't kiss her, but she still felt a dizzying rush as one hand planted against her hip while the other smoother up her neck to her nape. "What are you doing?" she said again, but her voice had broken into a breathless whisper of sound. It was shocking how he only had to touch her and she'd melt for him in an instant…

"I'm going to show you what it's like… to have sex…" his voice was a low, erotic tone and his breath teased her ear and jaw. Kagome's eyes slid close in simple response, even though the alarm bells were ringing loud and clear in the back of her head. "It's not something to fear… but it's not as good as you probably think."

The alarm bells ceased ringing, along with all the warm feelings running through her body. Kagome sat back abruptly, trying to pull away. "If that's your attitude then you can go and screw Naraku for all I care - and for all your care, as it seems!"

"I'm just saying it's not that important!" he growled, refusing to release his grip on her. "You seem to think that the earth will move every time someone fucks someone else - but that's stupid! If you get your hopes too high then you'll be disappointed…"

Kagome was nearing tears again. "But you don't care!" she whispered fiercely. "I'm not going to give myself to someone who doesn't care about what I'm giving up to him!"

"You're not giving anything up!" Inuyasha argued. "It's my first time too, but you don't hear me whining about giving myself away!"

"But you don't care… you don't care…" The tears began to fall, unheeded down her cheeks. Kagome felt ashamed.

"I do care… I care about you, not the sex." Inuyasha was quickly wiping the tears away with his thumbs. "I can take or leave the sex… as long as I have you with me…"

Kagome sniffed and looked up at him, wishing she could see better through the dark.

"Don't think of it as giving up a part of yourself." He told her quietly. "There's a reason why it's called the 'first' time… because it's the first of many times. You can always have a good second time if you screw up the first. It really isn't all that important…"

"But it feels important…" Kagome whispered. "It feels like I'll be losing something and you'll be gaining something for a quick burst of pleasure that lasts ten minutes."

"You think it'll last that long?" Inuyasha sounded surprised.

Kagome glared at him.

"But… I don't understand how you think you'll lose anything…" Inuyasha frowned. "Just what exactly will you lose?"

She sighed, softly. "My innocence… my virginity… I won't ever get it back, will I?"

"And would you need it back?" Inuyasha pointed out. "What are you doing with it now?"

To that, Kagome didn't know how to respond. "I… um…"

"See?" he sounded cocky and triumphant.

Kagome's face grew hot. "It may not mean anything to you - but I have more self-respect than to just lay down and do it with the first guy who demeans the experience for me. Besides… I'm not ready… and my palm is warning me against it-"

"Oh, that again…" Inuyasha sighed, clearly frustrated.

Kagome glowered at him through the dim light of the boiler room. "Just because sex may not seem 'all that' to you, doesn't mean that I want to remember my first time as an admittance of defeat. My first time will be special - and yours can be as meaningless as you want it to be. End of conversation."

She tore herself free of his lap and went to sit against the wall, arms folded and nose in the air. This was normally the point where she'd storm out, but with the door jammed, she realised that there was little she could do other than lie down and ignore Inuyasha.

The lying down part was easy - the ignoring Inuyasha part was another matter entirely, especially when he came to sit down beside her, with his back against the wall she was tucked up against.

"Are you implying that I won't be your first?" he asked evenly.

Kagome contemplated ignoring him, but in the end it seemed a little childish. "I don't understand men's desire to always be a woman's first." Kagome said snippily. "A much more sensible desire is to be a woman's last."

Inuyasha didn't reply… at least, not until he'd figured out what she'd meant. "But still - you don't want me to be your first?"

Kagome sighed and shuffled further away. "I don't want to talk about this…"

"Well, I do…" was Inuyasha's sulky retort.

"It's too hot to argue… so just shut up." Kagome gasped, exasperated. She meant what she said. She was in no mood to waste her energy arguing when her head swam from the heat and all she felt like doing was taking a nice long nap. Besides… it was weird topic of conversation. She and Inuyasha talked about a lot of things… Naraku… Shikon shards… how cool Tessaiga was compared to Sesshomaru's sword… just how far they thought Sango and Miroku had gotten…

But sex, Kikyo, and their own relationship was usually off limits.

Best to just move away from the conversation and pretend that everything was ok.

However, the longer she lay there and thought, the more uncomfortable she found herself. She was disappointed that Inuyasha wasn't pursuing the conversation… so did that mean that she really did want to talk about… that…

"My first time," her voice cracked, so she cleared her throat. "I guess, I don't mind if it isn't too special… but my mother once told me that I will probably fall in love with the first man I… make love to."

"It's not a compulsory condition, you know." Inuyasha said flatly.

"I know but… even if sex might not be all that important, there are feelings behind it, right?" She waited for him to agree… but got nothing. "I can't give myself to someone who only cares about finding some kind of release… it's called 'making love' for a reason."

"No. That's the romantic name." Inuyasha affronted. "You can't make love. It has to be there already… or there's no point."

"Yeah… exactly." Kagome rolled over to face him. "There has to be love there… or I won't go through with it. I won't risk breaking my heart over someone who doesn't care."

Inuyasha was gazing off at the door. "I care." He said quietly.

A small smile lit Kagome's face. "I know…" she reached out to clasp his clawed hand in her own. But do you love me?

Kagome already knew that there was a possibility that Inuyasha would leave her one day.

"If it's Kikyo's desire to go to hell together, then that's what I'll do." That had been what he'd said back then… wasn't it? And Kagome knew that if he really did go to hell, then her heart would break.

So would it make any difference if she stepped up the relationship… made love to him and then lost him… would her heartbreak be any worse? Kagome didn't think it was possible to love him any more than she did already… she doubted bringing sex into the relationship would change anything.

But wasn't that what Inuyasha had been telling her, just now?

Kagome wondered… but still, she felt young in her heart and sex still scared her a little. It was a big deal to her… she'd grown up in a world where sex was a dirty word to children. Schools and media censored ideas of sex and pleasure from the kids… and as Kagome had grown, it became less of a naughty ideal and more of a revered one. Teenage girls dreamed of their first dance, their first kiss, their first boyfriend… and recently Kagome had discovered that most girls her age had already discovered sex… some were even going slightly mad with it.

It was a big deal…

But Inuyasha didn't seem to feel the same way about it… probably because sex was a slightly more free topic of conversation where he came from. He came from a land where girl's were married off no sooner had they hit puberty… where boys were considered men before their sixteenth birthdays. Sex was probably another stepping stone in life to him… not a mountain, like it was to Kagome.

Still… Kagome couldn't throw away her entire upbringing and reacquaint with her attitude to sexual relations… it was still uncertain ground to her…

Just then, Kagome realised that she'd been tracing little circles on Inuyasha's palm with her index finger, scraping her nail lightly against the tough skin. It was only when he'd shifted that she'd noticed… she also noticed that he was moving to lie down, facing her. A small part of her was pleased that he didn't drop her hand as he did this.

An itch tickled the tip of her nose and she reached up to scratch…

"Don't pick your nose." Inuyasha scolded.

Kagome dropped her hand guiltily. "I wasn't! I was scratching it."

"I can see you, you know. You were picking it."

Kagome broke off into a grin and reached out blindly to find his face. Her palm touched the damp skin of his face, and was surprised at how smooth he was, considering. Inuyasha may have looked like a rough dog, but there were parts of him that were as soft as a puppy. "You're quite obviously half blind then." She told him, reaching up to give a velvety ear a tweak. It danced out of her fingers, teasingly.

Kagome let her hand fall to the ground. "I'm too hot."

"Take off your clothes then."

"No - you can see in the dark, remember?" she shot back.

"I don't mind." He responded lightly, and almost is if to prove that his vision was a hundred percent accurate, he reached out and tucked a few strands of stray hair away from Kagome's face. She loved the tender gesture, but she would never dare tell him aloud.

That thing was happening again… even though she couldn't see his eyes, she could just feel the dangerous pulse of attraction between them. The silence was a heavy weight on them both, but it spoke volumes of everything that neither of them would say…

No wonder it was so hard trying to deny him. The attraction was very mutual…

His fingers stroked down her jaw, her chin… down her throat… and suddenly Kagome realised where they would soon be if she didn't stop him. "Hey!" she slapped the offending hand away. "You're as bad as Miroku."

She heard him snort, meaning he was probably smirking. "You like it, though."

"I don't." she argued, tugging her blouse down tightly.

"You may act like an innocent, but your body says otherwise."

Kagome felt her cheeks flush. "It does not!"

"Yes, it does." Inuyasha seemed to have shifted awfully close without her realising. "I'll show you…"

"No you-"

Kagome was cut off as Inuyasha's lips pressed against her own. It was chaste and sweet… no way near as passionate or intense as she knew he was capable of. But the heat was restricting a lot of their energy… and a sweet kiss was all it took to make Kagome's brain turn to nothing but mindless fluff. She was leaning into the kiss, grasping one hand against his shoulder as their lips seemed to gain momentum and found a slow, sensual rhythm… even if it was a little inexperienced.

Suddenly Kagome whipped back. "Oh my god - my body acts like a slut!"

She heard him laugh. "Just relax and go with it…"

"No…" Kagome began to sit up, making her head spin with heat again. "We can't go any further…"

"Why not?"

"Because!" she hissed. "There may be consequences - repercussions! I don't keep track of my cycle, I might get pregnant without the proper protection! And what about the others? What about the people who we all keep stringing along? We can't go ahead and do it without any regard to people like Kikyo, or Kouga, or Hojo-"

"It's our relationship, we can do whatever the hell we like!" Inuyasha protested. "They have nothing to do with it!"

"Besides - I don't feel ready!" Kagome tried to convince him desperately.

"You are - you just don't know it! You just need to get over your hang-ups about sex… you need to experience it first hand to know that it isn't as scary or as important as you think."

Kagome pulled a face. "I feel like our conversation is just going in one big circle."

"That's because it is!" Inuyasha pointed out.

"Oh, shut up!" she griped.

"No, you shut up!"

"You shut up!"

"Why don't you shut up!"

"Oh shut up and kiss me!"

"No, you shut up!"

You're so dumb! Kagome seethed mentally, even as she reached out recklessly to pull his head to hers, kissing him swift and hard. She didn't know exactly why she had done that… but she'd been unable to resist.

Her inhibitions had evaporated… probably due to the heat from the boiler and the heat of their argument. She knew that there could… and probably would be repercussions… but she didn't care anymore.

Here was her excuse to lose control… and by god she was going to take it before her sense returned…

>TBC<