InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Drama of Edo High: A Modern Tale ❯ Painful Memories ( Chapter 41 )

CHAPTER 41: PAINFUL MEMORIES

The rest of their stay wasn't too bad. Inuyasha just never left the house…again. But it understandable. It just worried his friends when he fell into deep thoughtful silences, looking out a window or staring at the ceiling. He often found Kagome by him when he snapped out of them, trying to offer her comfort to him. He took it, only to make her happy. But truth was, nothing could comfort him at the moment. He had been too deeply disturbed to find comfort from anyone. Though it felt good to know she really cared, he just couldn't shake this feeling that he had been cheated of the experience. It would have been better if he remembered what actually happened. It came to him at odd times, little flashes of memory, a voice or smell here or there. But he would never fully remember what happened that night. And really, he didn't want to know. He didn't want to know what a horrible monster he had been.

Sango and Miroku hadn't avoided him, they hadn't pitied him, but were cautious to ever talk about. Yes they did admit it had scared them, but they never went into details with him. He was sort of grateful. Kagome had told him what he needed to hear. But what bothered him is why hasn't this happened before? If it was such a part of him, why had it come now? Sango and Miroku had expressed opinions when asked, and he mostly agreed. He wouldn't consciously turn and try to hurt people. No that's what he wanted to prevent people from thinking. But it racked his mind at night, losing him sleep.

It was just something Kagome had said that bothered him greatly. She said he had marks on his face, like Sesshomaru. But they were different. While Sesshomaru's features are refined and smooth, his had been rugged and rough. What did it mean? Did it mean he wasn't as good as his brother? Or was it something else? Could it have to do with the human in his blood? It diluted his system of full demon blood, making it sketchy and more vague. And he had never seen Sesshomaru with red eyes. Well, Sesshomaru never got ruffled enough to show emotion, so it was probably some sort of primitive reaction. If only he could remember his father.

Oh he had something to remember. The vaguest wisp of white hair, a strong musky scent, a muffled rumbling voice. But he couldn't pull detail from it, couldn't see features or remember moods. It was his mother he remembered mostly. Her sleek black hair, slim cheekbones, deep violet eyes, and bright smile. She was so imprinted into his mind, he often dreamed of their time together. But it had been ages since he dreamed of her. He only had pictures, and memories. Wait, he had something of his father's didn't he? What had his mother said? The first time he had heard the melody he had fallen for it? It eased his mind to remember this information. But…he had never played it. Hell he forgot where it even was.

So many things to remember…

"Mommy, what was daddy like?" a five year old Inuyasha asked his mother, and she smiled down at him from his spot on the floor, his toys spread all about him. He could see clearly the dark circles under her eyes that had been appearing lately, but her smile brightened her face dramatically. She got up from her chair and kneeled next to her son.

"Your father was a wonderful man, kind, brave, strong. He was the only man I ever truly loved." She answered her son. "He could either be warm as the sun, or be cold like the deepest part of the ocean. His mood swings were worse than mine!" she laughed to herself, the memories flashing in her eyes, "but he was the love of my life, like you are now…did I tell you how I met him Inu-chan?"

The boy shook his head, just happy his mother was happy and not really paying attention to her words. She scooped him up and sat back down, resting him in her lap. "I had gone to a place to listen to music, I liked music a lot then. And they played this music called blues, beautiful music it is. But I went there, and I listened and relaxed. Do you know what a guitar is? You do? Well good. Suddenly, I heard someone playing the guitar, and I looked, and there was your father, guitar in his lap. He played magically, beautifully, and he made mommy's heart beat really hard. When he was done, I so loved his music, I talked to him. He talked with me, and before we knew it, we were seeing each other. We fell deeply in love, and got married, and had you, our little Inu-chan."

The boy despite himself had listened intently and looked up at his mother, "but then he got sick right?"

He saw the light leave her eyes, and the dark spots under her eyes became more pronounced. "Yes Inuyasha, then he got sick and went away forever."

Inuyasha blinked from his memories and felt something hot run down the side of face. He reached up and found it to be…a tear. He was crying. It was hard to believe really, he hadn't cried since his mother's death. He sighed, it was the only thing that could be called for a six year old. It had been years later before Sesshomaru had told him how she really died.

He sat up in the bed, letting Kagome gently fall onto the bed. He heard her sigh and made sure she didn't wake. He sat on the side of the bed, hands hung between his knees. Why was he even thinking about this? It was the past, it was over and he had healed. But all the questions just got to him, and he couldn't help thinking things he hadn't for a while. Sesshomaru had been younger then, maybe just passing puberty. Though he remained distant of him, his brother was never too far if his little brother was alone. He usually blew it off like he didn't want to hear his father's ranting if he had let Inu-chan get hurt, but Inuyasha wasn't too sure of that. He was sure, on some level, Sesshomaru shared some brotherly love with him, its what had kept Inuyasha from trying to kill him all these years.

He jumped when Kagome's hand fell on his shoulder, and she calmed him, "Inu? Are you okay?"

He shrugged and placed a hand on hers. "I guess."

She came over and sat next to him, keeping his hand with hers. "Tell me, what's got you up all these nights?"

He looked at her surprised, "you knew?"

She smiled a little, "Its kind of hard to sleep when you cant, I guess I need that to fall asleep."

He grunted and they fell silent, and Kagome watched him intently. If he was going to tell her, he'd do it in his own time. She looked up when he spoke, "did I ever tell you about my mother?"

"Little bits, nothing much," she replied quietly, not wanting to discourage him. Her legs hung over the bed like his, and she stared down at the floor, offering her presence. He remained silent for a few minutes.

"She was a wonderful woman Kagome, a bright angel who could always make you smile. She met my dad at a blues club, cause he had played there after his little obsession with guitars. They started seeing each other and not before long they married. When I was three, my father died of some sickness that wasn't even known. My mother was heartbroken, and it really got to her."

Kagome bit her lip and could feel the tears sting her eyes. She was really happy he was opening up to her, but that look on his face, it was just so blank, so lost. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it a little, his thumb making circle over her knuckles.

"She just withered away over the next three years. It was like she lost the will to live, even for her son. One day, I came home from kindergarten, and went to play outside. I didn't get three steps into my house when the scream was heard. Sesshomaru flew upstairs and I went after him. But when I got there, Akiko grabbed me and took me downstairs and away from it all. At the time, no body told me what happened, they just she went away like dad. It wasn't until I was twelve that Sesshomaru told me the truth…she had…slit her wrists, and the maid found her. It left me haunted with so many images…"

Kagome shushed him, the tears sliding down his cheeks and hugged him about his shoulders. Inuyasha swallowed the lump in this throat, and held onto her arms. He had never shared this with anybody, and now he was speaking his heart out.

Kagome just held on to him. She had no idea his life was this bad. Losing both your parents before your even ten, learning your mother had taken her life. If things weren't bad enough, his blood had turned on him, turning into something to be scared of. What good was in his life? Was there ever something that made him happy? Nor caused him pain? She hoped it was her, but she couldn't never be too sure how long their relationship could last. Sure she said she was never going to leave, but what was never? Forever? As they say, nothing lasts forever.

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Inuyasha sighed as he approached his house. Well, that vacation hadn't gone as expected. It was somewhere around eleven, and he had dropped off his friends at home. Kagome had fallen into a deep sleep that no one could wake her from, so they opted for just carrying her inside. Sango had wasted about ten minutes saying goodbye to Miroku, who of which she'd probably see tomorrow. He just dropped of Miroku with a yawn and something about sleeping till school starts. And he was home, though a bit hassled and ready to just fall onto his nice comfy bed, and sleep till someone saw fit. Hitching his bag out of the jeep, he walked to the doors, opening them. He stopped dead in his tracks.

As did someone else. She darted her eyes guiltily, two beers in her hand and she wore nothing but a flannel button up shirt. "Uh…hi Inuyasha…how was your vacation?"

Inuyasha slowly closed the door and tried to see if she went away with blinking. Maybe he was just too damn tired to think this fake. But he blinked, and yep, she was still there. "Uh…hello…Kagura…what brings you here?"

"Um…well, you see uh…" she began, searching for the right words. Damn it she forgot they were coming back home this soon.

"Hey, Kagura, did you get…the…" Sesshomaru at the top of the stairs, in nothing but sweat pants, hair ruffled, and in a state Inuyasha never thought he'd see. Of course he would know what it was, he's been in it plenty of times. Especially when Kagome was feeling feisty. "Oh, uh welcome home Inuyasha…um we can-"

"Don't even bother," Inuyasha interrupted, holding up his hands and walking to the stairs. "Personally I don't WANT to know. So I'm gonna go to my room, bury my head in my pillow, and fall asleep with what's left of my sanity."

Very quietly and calmly, Inuyasha walked upstairs, entered and closed the door to his room, and flopped unto his bed. And started laughing insanely. Kagome was never going to believe this.