InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Dusk Curse ❯ Chapter 5 ( Chapter 5 )

Chapter 5

 

Salisbury, MA

1:08 AM, June 4, 2000

 

She leaned slowly closer to him. He was unable to move away, his well of control having suddenly come up dry. She was leaning over him, her lips so close, and then she was kissing him, nibbling on his lip, her hands coming up to bracket his face. For a moment, he let himself fall softly into the sweet kiss. Her fingers slid into his hair and she applied pressure to the back of his head, deepening the kiss, tasting his tongue, flicking around, making nerves jump.

 

He yanked away from her, getting up suddenly and going to the door.

 

“I'm going outside, I'll be right back.” His voice was hoarse, and he hoped to god it was cold outside. He wrenched open the door and just about slammed it shut again behind him.

 

Kagome had a secretive, sly look on her face as she stared at the door. She got up and started rummaging haphazardly through her bag, throwing out clothes and finally finding the thing she wanted at the bottom. She pulled it out and bit her bottom lip, holding it up. Her lips curved into a satisfied smile.

 

“Perfect.”

 

Sesshoumaru sat down on the cold concrete, wondering how much more of this he could take. His control was slipping, little by little. It angered him to no end. He was weak, he was so goddamned weak! He glared at the shadows, feeling his anger, -and his ardor- slowly cool. He stared out for a little while longer, trying to think straight, trying to sort through everything he had just heard. He wondered if the way she was pushing herself onto him had anything to do with what she had told him.

 

Finally he got up and went to the door, gathering himself, hoping she might have passed out so he could somewhat relax. Maybe she had seen what she had been trying to do was pointless and stupid and she had given up.

 

He opened the door and looked inside, waiting for her, but he couldn't see her. Maybe she had gone to bed. He slipped inside, trying to be noiseless, and shut the door quietly, locking it. He took the key out of the lock and set it on the table by the door. He heard a creak of a door opening and looked up, expecting her to come out of the bathroom showered, or from being sick, or something like that.

 

He wasn't expecting to see her standing there, leaned on the doorjamb, staring at him, her lips pulled up at the corners seductively. Her hair was tousled, sexy, and the thing she was wearing left little to the imagination. He gulped and managed to tear his eyes off her, but his mind was imprinted with the image. The sheer purple langerie, clinging to her body, dipping low into her cleavage; it stopped just below the top of the juncture of her thighs.

 

“Hey, hun.” She stepped toward him, her hips thrust forward in an exaggerated sexy walk that sent her hips swinging. Her whole body radiated sensual desire and interest.

 

It nearly knocked the breath out of him.

 

She was still coming closer, and then she was tipping her face up to look at him, inches from touching. She raised her hand, using a finger to run down his chest, slowly, down rippling stomach muscles, and farther still. He couldn't stop the groan her touch elicited. It was virgin, innocent, despite how she looked tonight. She reached her arms up toward his neck, pressing their bodies together, her hips pushed hard into his and she stood on tiptoe. She was pulling his head down, her eyes on his lips.

 

Sesshoumaru finally managed to grasp at some vestiges of control, resisting her pull. He brought his hands up, applying pressure to her shoulders to push her away.

 

“You'll be pissed as hell tomorrow if I take advantage of you in your present situation, Kagome.” His hold on her shoulders applied more pressure, pushing her away. She took a step back, but her seductive smile remained on her face. Suddenly, the straps of her sheer nightgown were falling down her shoulders and then the nightgown drifted to the floor.

 

“I seem to be the only one taking advantage of our `present situation'.” Her voice, though soft, was slurred. She stepped to him, her hands reaching up to curl around his neck, her naked body pressing to his. Such a body, perfect curves, her long hair cascading down around her shoulders; her long, shapely legs. Her breasts were plump and upright, young, the areoles puckered and high. He could feel those lovely curves pressing into him now, her fingers were tickling the back of his neck, her hips moving against his, making him real hard, real fast.

 

“I meant what I said earlier, about not holding you responsible for anything that might happen tonight. I won't.” She promised. She molded her mouth to his, and with a groan, he kissed her back, his arm circling around her and holding her tightly. He let his hips grind back into hers, his breath coming in quick gasps. Her hand slid from around his neck and sensually down his chest, to the waist of his pants. Her hands tugged at his zipper, and then her hands were brushing against him, making light flash before his eyes. He broke off the kiss.

 

“God dammit.” He gave her a hard push backwards, making her fall onto her rear. Her eyes were still locked on his, glazed with desire and need. She was breathing heavily, making her breasts rise and fall. He looked away; his state was similar to hers.

 

“Kagome, your blind drunk.” He was tugging his zipper back up.

 

“So?” She asked, as if that didn't matter in the least.

 

“There's a form of rape that that I could get nailed for if tomorrow you were to decide that you didn't really want to do this. I'm not about to take that chance.” He turned around. “Put your nightgown back on.” He ordered. He heard her get up and assumed she was following his direction until she spoke.

 

“No.”

 

He spun back around. “What do you mean, no?” He was surprised to see anger in her face.

 

“Dammit, I'm not about to stop now! I had to drink this much just to get the courage to talk myself into doing this much! I've wanted you ever since that night when we were watching the sunset. But I couldn't get up the courage to say it, until now. And dammit, now that I have the courage, I'm not about to give up.” She took a stumbling step towards him. “I want you, Sesshoumaru. I always have. I… want…” He caught her as she was falling. She smiled up at him before speaking a few words that were barely loud enough to hear.

 

“I knew you'd see it my way. I… knew… it. I…” Her eyes fluttered closed and she was deep asleep in a drunken stupor. Sesshoumaru swore and swung her into his arms, praying to god she didn't wake up until she was sober. She was going to have one hell of a hangover in the morning. He laid her down on the bed and pulled the covers out from under her in order to tuck them around her. Suddenly her eyes flew open, and her hands reached out to grab him in a steely grip he didn't think possible of her.

 

“Don't leave me, please don't leave me.” He was shocked by the intensely worried look on her face. Something told him this had nothing to do with her earlier fears of being alone.

 

“Don't hate me…” Her grip relaxed and she once again was falling into that drunken stupor. He stayed leaned over her like that; shocked at the last words she had spoken. He wondered how she hadn't managed to get out of her drunken slumber those few seconds. He watched her for many moments, but she was still now, her breathing deep and even. He leaned over and grabbed the blanket at the end of the bed and the pillow beside her.

 

After checking on her one last time, he closed the door softly and went to the loveseat, wondering how the hell he was supposed to sleep on that short little thing.

 

After three hours, he gave up trying to sleep. It was 4AM. What was the point?

 

~**~

 

~Salisbury, MA

~6:25 AM, June 4, 2000

 

Kagome awoke, feeling very stiff and weird, but okay other then that. She slowly sat up, looking around, slowly remembering where she was.

 

It took her a few minutes to remember how she got there. She looked down at herself, realizing she was totally nude. She blushed deeper and deeper as flashes from the night before paraded through her mind. She was tempted to throw the covers back over her head and never come out again. God forbid she ever drink that much again.

 

She got up, checking to make sure there were no windows that people might be able to see her in. She slunk over to the door, opening it enough to see, but not be seen by Sesshoumaru. She was surprised to hear light snores coming from the loveseat. She smiled softly, a strange warm feeling squeezing her heart. The whole bottom half of his jean-covered legs were dangling off the loveseat, he was too tall. She could see slightly tousled hair over the top of the loveseat on the left side. She peeked up at the clock and saw it was only about 6:30. Funny, she wasn't the type to wake up early, especially after last night. She wondered idly why she wasn't feeling the after-effects of drinking, the hangover.

 

She certainly wasn't still drunk. So…

 

Ah, what does it matter? She slowly slid through the doorway and went stealthily toward her bag, praying he wouldn't wake. Not that it mattered, because if she remembered last night, she had shown him all that she had to offer. She blushed again, a little nervous because she didn't remember everything from last night. Like how she ended up in the bed.

 

She frowned in annoyance when she saw the mess she had made of her clothes, noticing how they were ALL OVER THE PLACE. She picked up a pair of pants, folding them over her arm to wear, a shirt, and was just picking up a skimpy little thong when she heard his voice.

 

“Hurry up so I can get up.” His voice was stark cold and knocked the wind out of her like jumping into frigid water.

 

Oh god, he must have opened his eyes and seen her. Not that it really mattered. What there was to see he had gotten a good look at last night, right?

 

“I'm hurrying. I… don't see why it matters. You saw me last night. It shouldn't matter.” Her voice shook, betraying her nervousness. She reached down for a bra.

 

“It matters.” Came the growl from the couch. She flinched and hurriedly went into the bathroom to change. She was pulling on the thong as she heard him get up and heard his voice, assuming he was on the phone. His question proved her assumption correct. She finished snapping the back to her bra as he spoke through the door.

 

“What do you want for breakfast? Will Coffee be alright for drinks?” She pulled the shirt over her head and reached for the thong.

 

“Fine. I like Equal if we can get it. 2 creams. What can I get for food?” She reached for her pants, putting one leg in, hopping, and managing to get the other in as well.

 

“They have normal breakfasts as well as doughnuts and muffins and cereals.” Came the answer. She zipped her pants and opened the bathroom door. He was standing with the phone wedged in between his left shoulder and his ear, his left hand helping to hold it there, his right hand holding a pencil, idly drawing circles in the air. Even now she could see the predatory ease of his body, the now relaxed, but strong muscles. And her attraction for him somehow doubled, if it was possible, it turned from an insistent pull into an ache.

 

“I'll just have a chocolate-chocolate chip muffin, if they have them. Ask them if they can warm it up, please.” She was slightly breathless. He glanced at her, but there was no expression on his face, nothing for her to go by. That didn't help her any. He relayed her order into the phone. After a few minutes he hung up and faced her.

 

“It's the hotel's food service. It's quite extensive, very nice. It should be here soon. You can handle it?” He was gathering clothing to change his clothes. She nodded and stood there, watching him. He went into the bathroom without giving her a second glance. Kagome felt a little disappointed. She was hoping for something, anger, tension, but not this nonchalance. She almost wished that he would give her disgusted looks or something. She sighed.

 

The sound of water running in the shower made her wish she had taken one, but it didn't mater now. She would take one tonight. The images of taking one with Sesshoumaru made her quiver and suddenly feel very warm. She had the sudden ridiculous urge to undress and go in there now.

 

She stomped across the room and sat down firmly, disbelieving of the sudden novel urges she was having. Sure, she'd been attracted to him before, but now it was ten times worse. Did it have something to do with last night? Did alcohol somehow heighten sexual frustration or something? If so, she would make sure to never drink again. Maybe last night's idiocy and courage had rubbed off onto her more rational self. For some odd reason, she almost hoped that it did.

 

The doorbell ring echoed through her head and succeeded in bringing her rapidly out of her thoughts. She stared at the door dazed for a split second before peeping through the hole and opening it. A young man, about 16, stood with a bag and a tray of two tall coffees. There were three equal packets and quite a few creamers. She counted five. Sesshoumaru must like a lot of cream.

 

“Hello, um, let me grab some money.” She rushed back inside, leaving the door open. She heard the guy step into the doorway and almost kicked herself for not shutting the door and bringing money with her to the door in the first place. Damn her. If this guy chose to attack her… She shook her head. The guy wasn't going to attack her. But if he did, Sesshoumaru was in the shower and might not hear her unless she screamed quite loudly. Suddenly, she realized how alone she was in this room without him here. Unlike the fear before, it was not all-consuming, just a fear made of anxiety, not one from the depths of her mind.

 

And it did not paralyze her or really outwardly hinder her. The smile she gave the young man as she stood was fake, but not many who didn't know her could have told you that. She stepped toward him, taking the tray and setting it down on the table by the fridge.

 

“What do I owe you?” She asked, her voice conversational and congenial. He grinned back at her, perfect teeth in a white row. This guy either had really nice natural teeth or parents who were willing to spend some money on dental bills. The more she looked at him, the more she realized how good-looking he was, with his dark features, deep chocolate eyes, and short-cropped dark hair. If he weren't so young, she would say he was the type with the rugged good looks. Strong, square jaw, high, but not delicate cheekbones; the sharp bone structure seemed to complete his look. If she wasn't so afraid he was going to be the next monster, she may have flirted with this guy. And of course, if Sesshoumaru wasn't in the next room.

 

And then, suddenly, an idea formed in her mind. A mean, under-handed idea. Something she would have never considered doing before, but now… well, she wanted to reaffirm in her mind that he most definitely cared about her.

 

The voice speaking to her now matched the handsome face. It was low, masculine, and very pleasing. “The food comes with the hotel. Its part of the bargain.” He returned her smile, his gaze trying to be subtle as he glanced over her appreciatively. Kagome was suddenly very glad she had pulled that tight, low neck-lined shirt off the floor to wear. So apparently was this guy. Kagome banked her stupid fears and deepened her smile, seeing the spark of interest in his dark eyes.

 

“Well, um, I didn't catch your name.” She said, an obvious look in her eyes. She was almost surprised when the guy blushed. Surely she wasn't doing that good of a job.

 

“Yeah, name's Johnny. And… how about you?”

 

“Kagome. Well Johnny, since I pulled out this money, I may as well give you a small tip, huh?” She handed him the five-dollar bill and he slowly took it, his eyes bright, intense. There seemed to be nothing scary about this guy. Just a lot of hott and handsome male.

 

“Thanks. I hope you enjoy your breakfast.” He started to turn away. Shit, time to go for it, now or never.

 

“Hold up. Are you real busy at the moment? Because I need a little help with something.” She could see the implications of what he was thinking in his eyes, but she was determined to follow through with her little plan.

 

“I, um, may have a few minutes. What's up?” He took a half step closer, his eyes intensely focused on hers. She did her best to return the look.

 

“I could use some help eating this muffin. Would you join me?” He looked totally baffled for a moment, then his eyes swept to the bag he had brought, clearly disappointed.

 

“I, guess I could. Why not?” he stepped a little farther into the room and Kagome slid past him to shut the door, feeling guilty as she deliberately brushed him. She didn't like using people, but it wasn't like she was going to fuck him and then leave him. Nothing drastic, there was nothing wrong with flirting, right?

 

She grabbed the bag and sat on the loveseat, patting the spot beside her. He hesitantly sat beside her, as if he couldn't believe his luck. She contained her frown and wondered if maybe there were no pretty girls in his school, or maybe he was an outcast, doomed to be ignored.

 

Because for Christ sake she just wasn't that pretty.

 

She pulled out the muffin and broke it into a few pieces, setting them on her lap in the napkin already placed there. She gestured for him to take a piece and took one herself, biting into it and chewing slowly. She watched his hand seem to shake as he reached forward, and realized just how risqué she had made this, the food was sitting right on her thighs. He took a piece and popped the whole thing into his mouth, turning red with embarrassment when she smiled. She shifted closer to him.

 

“Wouldn't want to have crumbs fall in the loveseat on the way to your mouth.” She grinned at him and he returned a weak grin back at her. Jesus, after being with Sesshoumaru for the last few days, this guy seemed so transparent, and so non-challenging.

 

Together, they finished the muffin in tensed silence. Kagome looked at the crumbs on her fingers and then right at him, finding her courage to do this. She grinned, her eyes deep and dark, and proceeded to lick the crumbs off her fingers.

 

Poor Johnny swallowed several times and she could hear him fighting a groan. She was going at the last one when she heard the bathroom door open. She didn't even bother to look, and instead watched Johnny's face for a reaction. First was surprise, and then his face drained of color and it looked strained. Slowly she turned to look at Sesshoumaru, her finger still in her mouth.

 

His face, unlike its usual complacent stoicy, was now savage with fury. Well, that told her all she needed to know. Her previous thoughts were reaffirmed, and judging by the fact that it had knocked down his icy façade, he cared a lot. Possibly possessively. Interesting… She slid her finger out of her mouth.

 

“Hey, Sesshoumaru.” She finished licking her finger. “I just invited Johnny, our delivery boy, in to help me with the muffin.” She picked up the napkin, corner-by-corner, careful to keep the crumbs from falling out all over her or the couch. She looked at Johnny, who looked almost scared stiff, but was now standing, as if he thought he would have a better chance if attacked. “Thanks, Johnny. I'll see you around, sometime maybe.” His eyes zipped to her. Something close to accusation lit his gaze. She threw the napkin away.

 

“Yeah, See ya.” He gave her a nervous smile before fleeing to the door, opening it quickly, fumbling, and shutting it behind him. Kagome stared at the door a long minute, gathering herself for his anger. Slowly she turned to look at him, a bright smile on her face.

 

“What a nice guy. Didn't you think so?” Her voice was cheery and light. But her façade could not stand up against the raw jealousy and fear in Sesshoumaru's face. She took a single step back.

 

“What the hell were you thinking?” His voice held an edge, more then one, in fact. “Did you not learn anything from what happened at the other hotel?” He took a slow, stalking step toward her. She shivered and retreated, thought she wasn't really scared, not of him.

 

“Of course I learned something. Why, are you jealous or something?” Goddamn, she should have kept her mouth shut. She watched, as he grew even more murderous, apparently she had hit a nerve.

 

“You think I am jealous? That fool could have done any number of things to you.” Another, slow, measured step was taken in her direction. “And you let him in with you, while you were alone, without a second thought.” And still he drew nearer. Kagome's back hit the wall behind her.

 

“I did have second thoughts, but you were right in the next room, and he seemed like a nice guy. He didn't hurt me, now did he?” Why the hell couldn't she just shut up?

 

“Jeffrey Domer the serial killer was said to be such a polite and nice guy by his neighbors, but that is not the point.” His voice was so silky, even with its hard edge. “The point is you could have been hurt, or worse. And you seem to care less.” He was towering over her 5'5” frame, menacing. And still she was not really afraid; she could never really fear him.

 

“I don't seem to have to care, since you do so damn much.” She snapped. This time her face drained, right after she saw how his did. Shit, that was a mistake. He was rapidly drawing away from her. Apparently, he didn't know his own feelings well. “Sesshoumaru. I, just forget I said that.” She followed his retreat, not ready to let him get away. He backed up, away from her, and once again he was being overly emotional in his standards. His pale skin was paler then normal, his eyes held something close to shock. Oh no, she'd really done it now. “Sesshoumaru?”

 

“You… I… can't believe you would think that. Where did you get such an idea?” His voice was hushed, so unlike him.

 

“We are friends you know. I'm pretty sure they can get protective at times. Like when you threw that guy across the room to save me.” She tried to sound logical, tried to make light of it.

 

“I saved you. It is not a crime to prevent another one.” She could swear there were tremors in his usually icy voice. It totally undid her, and she found herself saying something that she never planned on telling him. Things she didn't really know until the moment she spoke them.

 

“Over the last few days, so many things have happened. You've been there for me through it all. You chased away my demons. You helped me, held me. You've been a wonderful friend to me. And I hold you as more then a friend.” She strengthened her resolve, surprised at the truthfulness of the words that sprang from her mouth. She took another tedious step toward him. She didn't know that he could look even more shocked. But he did, his muscles going rigid, his eyes hardening. He was so still, for so long. She took another step, which he seemed not to fathom.

 

“Sesshoumaru? Say something, anything. Please.” His jaw opened, and slowly, one word came out, almost a whisper.

 

“Why?”

 

“What do you mean, why? There is no why when Love is involved.” The words came so easily from her mouth, but she could tell it would be a long time before he could ever admit such an emotion, to anyone. She was taking a real chance here, and she prayed to god she wasn't wrong. His expression turned savage again.

 

“How do you know what love is?” He spat out the word, like it was some kind of vile thing.

 

“You know when you feel it. It's like an obsession, and a caring so deep you can't even imagine being without that person. Add in a little sexual attraction, well, maybe a lot, and boom, there it is.” She tried for a soft smile. His savage expression disappeared, and she watched with an intense, almost painful feeling of loss as his expression closed.

 

“No.” She was shocked.

 

“What do you mean, no?” She tried to stay gentle, but there was a certain amount of ice in her words.

 

“You do not love me. You may think you do, but it will fade.” Kagome bit back a retort, her heart clenching. “What you feel is sexual, and when mixed with a series of stressful events, it escalates.” She felt as if her heart was made of glass and it was developing some deep, wrenchingly painful cracks. “Desperation instinct kicks in on us in stressful environments.” Another excruciating crack. Couldn't he hear what he was doing to her? “I was there during each and every one of your recent stressful situations, and yes, I did help you through them the best I could. You see me as something I'm not, your savior. You love someone who does not exist.” His expression was so cold, so unfeeling.

 

“But that is all you think you feel.” The crack ran down the middle of her heart, making her blanch in pain. “Only this and nothing more.” It shattered into a million tiny pieces. She felt an aching, deep inside of her, through her whole body. Anger made her tongue go wild.

 

“You bastard. No wonder you're so cold. Have you told every woman who fell in love with you this little line? I wonder…” She sobbed. “I wonder, how many hearts have you broken? How many times have you told that convenient little lie to keep from showing your own feelings? I can see the truth, even if you can't. I won't say you love me, because that I don't know, but there's something there, and you can feel it. I don't know why you have to deny it. Why, Sesshoumaru?” Another sob choked her words off. “Why?” It was barely a whisper as she searched his face for answers, though she was not surprised when none could be found. Finally she lowered her head, defeated, and turned away.

 

She silently walked to the loveseat; she just didn't care if he saw how much he hurt her. It really didn't matter, what did, now? He'd seen all of her, her body, her soul, her past, and her heart. She stared at the still steaming coffees for a long time, letting the tears roll down her cheeks. Noiseless sobs racked her body, but she kept them under some kind of control. She wouldn't wail his loss, there was no way. She would allow herself to cry, but even that was something she vowed to never do again. Ever. Slowly, the pain subsided to a distant throb, numbed. An achingly familiar cold spread through her, but it was bearable.

 

She slowly, almost mechanically rose from the loveseat, her eyes finding Sesshoumaru's across the room. She stared at him, not allowing a nuance of emotion in her features. He had seen her pain, and she would make sure he saw no more of it.

 

“We should pick up, and get ready to go.” She reached over and started to pick up her clothes, folding them neatly, putting them carefully into her bag. She felt him staring, but purposely ignored him. After a few minutes he finally moved, straightening the room with her.

 

When it was finished, she cleared her throat, pivoting to face him.

 

“I hope you know, I fully intend on finishing this trip. Although, I have decided to cut the two weeks down to one. If you want to go back home, you'll have to find your own ride.” She drew herself up to meet his gaze, holding it long enough to make him nod, and then finished with her task.

 

Sesshoumaru had already made his decision. He made sure his bag was packed, thinking silently. The words she had said rang over and over in his head.

 

Obsession.

 

He shook his head, getting ready to ask her to take him to the nearest train station. She certainly was NOT obsessed with him, and though some of his behavior had been slightly weird, it was not obsessive.

 

Caring.

 

Again he tried to stop the words from running rampant in his mind, but he could not. What did she know of love, anyway? She was wrong; it was nothing but stress and timing. He cared for her, yes, okay. But she for him?

 

Attraction.

 

Attraction? He admitted a mutual attraction. But once again, it was all in the timing and the events. He was there when she needed someone to turn to. He was the only one. Of course to her he would seem attractive. And there was no question that he was attracted to her.

 

Love.

 

Love, ha? What was love? It was a deception, blindness, a weakness. A temporary false feeling for a person. Something he could certainly do without. It would go away.

 

She agreed to drop him off. They picked up the coffee, drinking them in the car. Habits made him note how she liked her coffee: 2 creamers, 2 of those substitute sugars, Equal was what they were called. Without a second thought he filed away the future information for later use.

 

She dropped him off, saying a terse but polite goodbye, and then sped off. As he watched her go, he tried to ignore the intense pain that was slowly building in his chest. He wouldn't admit to the feeling that a part of himself was leaving with that red car. He couldn't see that he would never be the same as before.

 

When her car rounded the corner out of sight he went into the station to get a ticket and then waited for the train that would take him home.

 

He cursed the feeling that home would never have the same connotations it always did. He would never feel he belonged anywhere, unless she was there beside him.

 

It was something he knew in his heart, thought it would never be something he would admit out loud.

 

~**~

 

I… hope you liked this chapter. I didn't, I hated trying to write this. It was impossible.

 

 

RyuuYoukai@hotmail.com

 

I hope you enjoy my efforts. Please feel free to email me with anything, questions, comments, and/or ideas. I hope to hear from you.

 

RyuuAngel

 

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