InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Dusk Curse ❯ Chapter 9 ( Chapter 9 )

Chapter 9: Silver Linings

 

~North Newport, NH

~3:45AM, June 2, 2004

 

Kagome awoke into the still dark morning fretfully, feeling as if she had never slept. Her mind replayed with sharp images from the same dream, over and over. She rolled onto her stomach restlessly and looked at her alarm clock, groaning when she saw the time. She'd probably slept all of three hours so far. She buried her head in the pillow and thought sleepy thoughts, then tried clearing her mind to sleep. Counting sheep didn't work at all, no matter how hard she tried to focus on the sheep, other visuals came to mind, including clear recollections of Sesshoumaru as he stood ankle deep in crystal clear water, his deep amber eyes focused intensely on her-

 

Then of course the same dream kept invading just as her mind saw the sheep jumping over the fence and running to freedom…

 

Perhaps it was time to go and see a psychologist. Or maybe she should just send him the goddamned book and say the hell with it. Maybe he would take it, wonder why in hell she sent it to him, and then throw it away. Or maybe he would ask her why she had given it to him…

 

And just what in hell would she tell him? `Oh yeah, Sesshoumaru. I believe in curses and stuff so when I had this unbelievable dream that these weird people told me to give it to you, I did just that! Why, didn't you like it?'

 

Sure. That would be smart. Or maybe she could just say that it was a present, or maybe she should put it on her doorstep anonymously, then he would never know it was her.

 

She wasn't going back to sleep, was she? She picked up the clock and groaned when she saw the time.

 

4:15AM.

 

She rolled off the bed and stretched, yawning. The deep burgundy silk slithered delightfully over her skin. She ran a hand through her hair so it stayed back and was not all knotted. Her footsteps did not echo as she crossed the floor because of her plush rug. She went slowly down the stairs and into the kitchen, pulling out a tall glass of orange juice. She downed that to get rid of the taste in her mouth before starting coffee.

 

Black, that was how he liked it. She would NEVER forget.

 

She poured herself a cup when it finished brewing and added an ice cube before trying a taste. It was so bitter she nearly spit it out. Well, black coffee was out the window for her, that's for sure. Adding milk and equal, she wrinkled her nose at the gross taste in her mouth. She sipped the coffee now and smiled in satisfaction. It was amazing how merely adding a couple of teaspoons of sugar and a little milk could change a simple cup of coffee.

 

God it was so damned early. Running her hand over her eyes did little to reduce the sleepy feeling from them. The coffee wasn't helping yet either. Even three cups of coffee did little to help her. She finished off that cup and poured a fourth, taking it up to her bedroom, sipping at it along the way. She was going to piss like a racehorse later. Drawers were sifted through and clothes put neatly folded on the bed, a long casual blue dress made of a fabric something like silk. It whisked down around her ankles and had slits that went all the way up to her thighs. The shoulders were caps and it dipped to a V in the front. She didn't wear this one often since it was long and she preferred to keep her long legs bare. She was very partial to short skirts and sometimes shorts. When she wore pants, it was either loose ones for comfort or hip huggers when it was cold and she didn't feel like shivering. So wearing this dress was not something she did often.

 

She wondered why she had the urge to wear it today. She didn't bother with a strapless bra beneath it. The thong she added to the pile was a creamy blue that would not show up underneath the dress. The shower she took was quick, cold, and totally useless in waking her like she thought it would. Christ she felt like the walking dead. It couldn't be from the two glasses of wine she had drunk last night, could it? After all, it was only two glasses…

 

Quickly she dressed and dried her hair. She brushed it straight behind her ears and despite herself applied a little makeup to her face. She didn't wear makeup often, hardly ever actually. She hoped that the thin black line beneath her eye would draw customer's gazes from the dark circles under it.

 

It was now quarter of six and she had another hour and fifteen before she had to be to the store. What in the world was she going to do with herself…?

 

Her eyes fell on the book sitting there on the bed, facing her, taunting her. She picked it up and flipped through the pages, sighing. If this really was some sort of curse, Dammit to hell. It had caused her enough pain to last a century or more. How about her eternal soul? Yeah, that sounded about right.

 

She stopped to read a passage that caught her eye. It was the part that mentioned the technicalities of the curse. Something about trials and hardships that they most both endure. Then it detailed about how they should help each other through these hardships. She sighed, because given that the curse was true, which of course it was not, then they had already failed that. They had only caused problems for one another. She had never done anything to help him, and she did not understand what he might be going through. What was it that kept him from loving her, besides this stupid curse? A curse that did not exist in all likeliness. So what kept him away from her?

 

Perhaps she had read him wrong after all and he felt nothing for her. As much as she didn't want to believe this, it was entirely possible. Even a probability; after all, he was the cold and uncaring Sesshoumaru. According to most people, he did not have friends or lovers. He was stubborn, icy, and unemotional.

 

But she had seen something else, she was sure of that much. His warm body and his hot mouth plundering hers did not seem cold or unfeeling. The way his hands had so expertly touched her, the sweetness of his kisses, none of it added up to what she had been told. Neither did other things; such as the way he had held her that night while she slept, or other times when she had cried. She could remember the worry in his eyes that had been apparent more then once, including the time she had saved the young boy from being run over by a truck. She could still picture that awful man flying across the room after he had kicked a door down to get to her. And the anger and fear in his eyes when he had come out of the shower to realize she had invited a strange man she didn't know into the motel with her. When she had ridden home with him from the airport he had intuitively questioned her out of her shock and back into reality before she had gotten home to her mother.

 

More memories spun around her and her eyes misted over but no tears fell. There were none to shed. Not anymore. But the ache in her heart was still there, as severe and wrenching as ever. She supposed that was because she still loved him as much as ever. It proved one thing; he was wrong, she had not stopped loving him. It had never gone away and if anything had only gotten even more painful as it strengthened. It had never been a passing fancy borne of tragic nerves turning to someone for comfort.

 

She continued to read, relearning of the curse and the people whom were reincarnated from these two divided lovers. Again and again she read over the words `The curse of Amendment' but did not understand what it meant. She knew that it had something to do with the other curse that was put on Raya and Nocte and that it had some effect on it, but the details of that curse were not in the book. It bothered her for some reason, though why exactly she didn't know.

 

She glanced up at the clock and saw that it was now six thirty. If she was going to go through with her plan it would be now.

 

She picked up the book and grabbed her purse, tightening her resolve. If she left it on his doorstep, he would never know that it was she, right? She snatched her keys off the hook and headed out the door, noticing her mother was still not awake. She shrugged it off as a late night for the both of them. She would call in a few hours and…

 

She should check on her before she went to work. She knew she was being silly, but a certain fear had gripped her heart that her mother would die and then she would be left alone. Of course, that was silly in itself, she had Sango and her other friends, but the feeling remained. So she started back up the stairs and to the third door on the right. She knocked once lightly.

 

“Mama?” She slowly opened the door and saw her mother still slept on, her breathing deep and even, her face the quintessence of serene peacefulness. She was curled up in almost a fetal position on her left side, her hair in disarray. Kagome walked forward and gently ran her hands through her mother's black hair, smiling. Her mother stirred but did not awaken. She set the book down on the stand and sat next to her mother, watching her. A saint, a marvelous saint was the gift she had gotten for a mother. She had learned to appreciate her after her brother's death.

 

“Kagome…?” Her mother's voice caught her off guard. Shoot, she had woken her up.

 

“Sorry Mama.” She said softly. “I didn't mean to wake you. I was just checking in on you before I left. I gotta go to work now. Be home later.” She kissed her mother's forehead just as her dark brown eyes fluttered open.

 

“See you when you get home honey.” Kagome smiled and got up, giving her mother one last long glance.

 

Satisfied, she tiptoed out of the room and closed the door quietly behind her. She rushed back down the stairs and outside, jumping into her car and gunning the engine. She drove off to downtown Newport and stopped in front of Sesshoumaru's house.

 

It was only then she realized she had left the book in her mother's room and was late for work.

 

~**~

 

~Newport, NH

~4:45PM, June 2, 2004

 

Her car.

 

A black Ferrari was squealing away from his driveway, the driver checking over her shoulder as if afraid she would be caught. Through his bedroom window he had observed her pulling up, looking around frantically as if sure someone would see her. She had scrambled out of the car; clutching a book to her breast as if it was some valuable treasure she was about to unwillingly give away. She had hesitated at the front steps, reluctantly pulling the book away to stare not at it, but into it as if she could see more then the simple gilt lettered cover. He had fleetingly seen the sheen of wrenching sadness that withered her beautiful eyes as she stepped forward out of his sight and then come back empty handed. Still her innocent eyes were shrouded in emotions so deep they affected the very air around her, making it darken thickly.

 

She did not have the book. She must have left it on his doorstep, thinking she had delivered it unseen.

 

And then she had jumped into her car, giving the mansion one final, assessing and deeply disturbing glance before she sped away. Her car glided out of sight before he moved.

 

A book?

 

He crossed his room in giant, silent strides and opened his door. Swiftly he marched down the stairs, skipping a stair for every one he took. He crossed the living room to the front hall, pausing briefly before opening the door. He found that his steady hands shook from anticipation he could not altogether write off as curiosity. He swore and opened the door, immediately spying the large cover that sat on the doorstep. The gilt lettering caught his eye and he read the title.

 

Cursed Love of the Moon and the Sun.

 

A curse, eh? He wondered seriously what in hell she was thinking when she had set this off on his doorstep. A book on curses, or perhaps just a certain curse. He felt the amusement wash through him, and then disappear just as quickly when a single thought occurred to him.

 

What if his sweet, innocent Kagome had finally gone off the deep end for real? After all she had been through, the early childhood abuse, the attempted rape, her brother dying. Perhaps it was too much for her delicate mind to deal with. Perhaps she was mentally unstable from all the trauma in her still young life.

 

Somehow that didn't seem right. Despite her obviously painful childhood, she had persevered fine. Or maybe not, for after all her mind had closed itself off to all those memories in an attempt to protect itself. Then again, he could distinctly remember her racing towards a young boy, intent on saving his life. He could still feel the fear that seized his heart as she rolled away from the truck, the boy in her arms. The truck tires were rolling past her head, barely a foot from it, daring her to move and become its prey.

 

He shivered. She wasn't really weak, not like him. She had loved and lost, and she did not deaden her heart to the world because of it like he had. She did not cringe when she was alone with a man because of the things her father had done to her, not anymore. She had forgiven him for trespassing on her life and even her heart, letting him know she would still be his friend if he wanted. She was strong beyond belief where he was weakest, where it counted most. She could take blows to her heart, to her mind, and still come out on top. He could not.

 

He believed she may have loved him, but even if she had, she did not now. Maybe she did not hate him, but love? How could she? It had been many long years and surely she had used her strength to move on.

 

He reached down for the book and curled his fingers around it. A certain tingle whispered through his fingers he disregarded as nothing as he picked it up. He turned it over, thinking still of the love she must not feel for him.

 

LOVE.

 

The word popped out at him like a beacon, demanding his attention like a preacher would when preaching against Satan. He nearly dropped the book in shock as strange, full-blooded and raw emotion poured into him. His fingers clutched the book hard and he drew it closer to him. Kagome…

 

He could feel the intense love, the pain, the sadness. It screamed at him with that simple word, blaming him for his huge mistake. That damn word pounded in his eardrums, echoing with the others she had said to him, over and over, until he was dizzy.

 

He blinked as his eyes cleared and the noise stopped, bringing him back to awareness. He hurriedly shut the door and strode into the kitchen, sitting down with a cup of coffee. Only then did he pull the book to him and read the back. This time the word at the top did nothing except the usual things words did, lead him to the next one.

 

/The dawning of the night, the dying of the day. This is when they meet. A kiss casts a powerful spell they cannot lift. It shall shadow them forever, until they are reunited in love.

 

Each is the others opposite. Dark and light, sweet and tart, outgoing and withdrawn. They mirror each other so totally that they make one complete entity together. Apart, they are halves seeking to be whole. One accepts, the other cannot.

 

In the end, time will bring them together. But only they can find their happiness./

 

For a while he just stared at the back cover of the book, slowly taking in the style of the gilt letters, the age of the book. He absently traced the vines of ivy that framed the words he had just read. The intricate flowers had obviously been done by hand and had taken a very long time. The paper was an old style that had not been used for hundreds of years. The covers of the book were nearly ready to rot with age had it not been well taken care of. There was no way to fabricate this age; time was the only thing that could make something like this be. It was the reason why forgeries could be picked out from a bunch of true objets de art with the right eyes and amount of knowledge. According to his sharp eyes, this was no new book. It was at least a couple hundred years old, at least. There was not a shadow of a doubt in his mind.

 

What a coincidence that this book would in very many ways mirror his and Kagome's… well, he wouldn't call it a relationship. Interaction? Acquaintance?

 

He turned the book over and began to read, skimming the pages first and then becoming interested as he did so. Soon he was so engrossed in the book that he did not remember that before he had seen Kagome out the window he was about to go to the bank and cash his check for his company, the very same check that made him a millionaire. He continued to read the book, finding each and every new but familiar fact so disturbing and unreal that he was compelled to read more.

 

It was only two hours from dusk when he finished the book and set it down, struck beyond comprehensible thoughts or feelings.

 

~**~

 

~North Newport, NH

~5:00PM, June 2, 2004

 

She had done it. The book was sitting on his doorstep right now, waiting to be found and picked up. Surely he would at least look at it before he disposed of it. There seemed to be a great weight that had shifted from her shoulders and lightened her considerably.

 

She had been anxious all day; rushing around and working her butt off o try and get everything done. Well, she had, and it had only been 2:45. The store didn't close and she could think of nothing to do for the next two hours and fifteen minutes. Sango had noticed and kept telling her to go home. Over and over, until she had literally pushed her out the door and said she could watch the store until closing.

 

Determined, she had hoped that Sesshoumaru would be at work and she had gone home to get the book, swallowing her pride and fears and going to his house to drop it off. And now it was done.

 

Her mother came into the hall just as Kagome closed the door and turned around. There was a smile on her face that was almost secretive.

 

“So, did you give it to him?”

 

Kagome blushed and pretended ignorance.

 

“What are talking about? Give what to whom?” She tried to build up her best curious look but her mother's smile almost tore it down.

 

“The book you came back home to get because you left it in my room. Did you give it to that guy you've been mooning over ever since he went on that road trip with you? I know you fell in love with him. It was more then obvious.” The sly smile said millions of other words that Kagome stood shocked at.

 

“You… you know? You read the book, didn't you? You don't think I'm crazy too, do you? Oh damn, I didn't mean-“

 

“Of course I don't think your crazy, my silly girl. Your not the only one with magic in your heart, sweetie. Yes I read the book, by the way. I thought it was such a tragic, sad tale. I wonder if you can really end it? Wouldn't it just be grand?” Her mother folded her hands together and got a misty look in her eyes and a slight smile.

 

“How did you find out about Sesshoumaru?” She whispered softly.

 

“What dear? I missed that.” She seemed to come out of her trance and looked directly into Kagome's eyes again, watching her.

 

“I said,” She reiterated strongly. “How did you find out about Sesshoumaru?”

 

“I heard from your brother, of course. It did not pass me by that you were very different after the road trip, nor did it escape me that day I saw you watching him walk into a store. Your eyes looked so painful, so filled with tragic love. Did you ever plan to let your own mother in on this little affair?” She did not look angry, merely curious. Kagome swallowed.

 

“I didn't plan on telling anyone about any of it. Sango found out some of it by interrogating Sesshoumaru. I'm not sure exactly how much she knows. I do know that no one knows about the book, until Sesshoumaru finds it on his front step.” She sighed. “Other than that, no one else knows I think. I had originally planned to keep this totally to myself. I didn't want to have to go over the whole thing, to relive it again. It would be too painful.” She dropped her eyes and then picked her face back up to her mothers. “Do you really want to know? I mean, the whole story. Do you want to hear it?”

 

“Of course I do! You're my child, after all. I'm dying to know. I have been watching you, wondering what has been eating its way through your heart. I had short thoughts that maybe he had raped you, but that did not add up quite right. I had hoped that if I waited, you would tell me eventually. But today after I read the book I started to put things together and realized that maybe I should just ask you.” She took her daughter's hand and led her down the hall into the kitchen. “I made supper for us, you can tell me while you eat.”

 

Kagome obediently sat down and said nothing when her mother poured her a full glass of wine. She may need it tonight. She served herself and her mother while her mother sat across from her. She picked up her fork, raising it above her food. It drifted back down as she caught her mother's gaze focused intensely on hers. She was waiting.

 

Slowly she started to tell her story, starting with the early morning four years ago when she had gone into the club, expecting to find Inuyasha there so she could talk to him, only to see he was not available to talk to. Anger laced her voice as she recollected how Inuyasha had been staring at the girl who was leaning towards him, her dark hair curling around her beautiful face. She had watched while he had kissed her gently, this woman with the long ebony hair. And then his eyes had seen her, but she was gone before he could try and explain his way out of this one.

 

She then told of how she had driven home to tell Souta where she was going before taking off, thinking she was going to just disappear for a few days. But then she ran into Sesshoumaru…

 

Her voice took on a gentler tone as she carefully went through and remembered every detail of their encounter. She explained every aspect of the day, right down to the fire and passion in their kiss on the ridge. She lovingly described his reaction to it and the sudden bulb that had gone off in her brain at that point. She did not even leave out a single thing from the experience at the hotel. Still her mother listened silently as Kagome recounted the way Sesshoumaru had held her after the rape attempt and the way they had spent that night. Her face clouded with concern as she listened to Kagome's account of what had happened to her when she was younger. She nodded sadly as she remembered the exact occasion she spoke of, seeing her husband taking such gross advantage of his own daughter.

 

Vaguely she tried to describe how she had felt during the time after the flashback, the time when everything had felt slow and unimportant. How unnatural everything was, the angles, the movement. It was hard and she had trouble finding the right words. It became easier when she remembered how she had just known something bad was going to happen, something really horrible. Her mother's eyes widened as she too went through the panic of thinking that Kagome was going to kill herself trying to save that little boy. Then there was a sigh of relief when she told how that had managed to get her out of that weird, almost catatonic state.

 

She smiled dreamily, recounting how they had understood each other better after that, going to lunch and then to the beach. She did not even leave out how she had kissed Sesshoumaru in the water. Dinner was explained quickly, and then the hotel. Her mother smiled when she flung her hands about, using dramatics to show how she had ranted about the cost of the room. Kagome stopped a moment, unsure of how to go on. She decided to be a little vague on her descriptions of how drunk she had been. It was easier the drunker she had gotten, she didn't really remember all that much. Her cheeks flushed in embarrassment when she quickly spoke of how she had stripped right in front of him and tried to seduce him.

 

“You did what? My little, sweet Kagome did what?” But her mother was smiling.

 

Kagome glared. “It doesn't even bother you that something really bad could have happened.”

 

“Well, no. From what you've told me about your young man, he seems to have too much self-respect to take advantage of someone who must have been as drunk as you were.”

 

“My…? He is not my young man, mother. Let me finish the story.”

 

Kagome turned a gentle pink before stuttering on with her story, explaining with an extra glare how he must have put her to bed and then slept on the loveseat. Her mother's knowing eyes made her blush even deeper. Then, of course, came the next morning. She totally skipped the part about getting up naked and went immediately to the point where she had taken a shower and Sesshoumaru was doing the same when the food had come. Her mother narrowed her eyes when she told her about inviting the cute guy in to share her muffin with her. She did not interrupt though.

 

“I know why I did it. It wasn't to be stupid, or because I was all that attracted to the guy.”

 

Her mother's eyebrows rose. “Oh, really? There was a purpose behind trying to scare the poor man out of his wits?”

 

“Yes, actually, that was exactly what I wanted to see. I wanted to be sure he cared about me. I didn't know… I wasn't sure if he did. I'm still not totally sure. The way he reacted was unnatural for him, because he's usually so passive in expression; he looks like he's wearing a mask all the time. But he didn't look like that then. He looked like he was ready to kill me, although I could tell it was just because he was worried. I just wanted to make sure I was right, that was all.”

 

“Well, it was a mean way to go at it, girl.” Her mother told her sternly. She blew a frustrated sigh.

 

“But you see, there was no other way, Mama. Sesshoumaru doesn't like to give straight answers when it comes to personal questions about feelings. Or siblings.“ She recalled. “He would never admit he loved me, even if he did.”

 

“Oh, Kagome. You would have to pick the hardest ones, huh? Poor sweetheart. I'm sure he does love you, honey. He must have his own reasons for not telling you. Perhaps he's had it hard in the past.”

 

A memory hit her full force, the day before she had left for Japan. The words he had said, something about being in the same situation she was in.

 

`I once believed in love as you do. It got me into trouble as it has you. That is the topic in subject. That is all I will tell.'

 

His exact words. She could remember them clearly now. Maybe he too had once loved and found the one he loved could not, or would not love him back. Perhaps that was why he closed himself off to the world, so he didn't have to feel the pain everyone else did. Imagine not going through the regret, the longing, the pain, and just feeling only what you wanted to feel. How nice it must be. She couldn't, not even if she wanted to. If she were to give up herself the way Sesshoumaru had, she would end up turning her back on her friends and make everyone hate her. But then, if no one cared about her and she didn't have to care about them, she would not worry about them, or anything else that did not help her.

 

What a lonely, awful life that must be? How uneventful, cold, hollow… could she ever stand that? No. She could not. Insight told her what Sesshoumaru must be feeling, how he must think, why he acted the way he did. And with it blossomed understanding.

 

“I think your right, Mama. But let me finish.”

 

And so she did, relating how she had thrown back at Sesshoumaru his feeling she had only suspected at that point, and of course, his now understandable reaction. She smiled ruefully when she told her mother about her declaration of love and his idea of simplifying it down to a stress and `right place, right time' kind of thing. Her anger was gone now, and she felt only pity as she told her mother how he had rode a train home and she had spent the rest of the time in Boston, where she had gotten the book.

 

Her mother just stared at her, slightly dazed. Then she nodded. Before she could say a word, there was a loud and demanding knock on the front door.

 

Kagome glanced at the clock. It was seven twenty. Who would be coming to their door? That did not sound like Sango's firm but gentle knock. It made her think of someone who was strong, and desperate. It was a banging of someone who felt the sudden impulse to get in there or see someone right then.

 

So when she opened the door and face Sesshoumaru, she was slightly shocked. His appearance was just as clean-cut and perfect as always, but there was a raw edginess, a feeling close to desperation about him. His eyes locked on hers and only when she forced her gaze from his did she notice the book he was holding. Ah damn. He must have seen her. Shit.

 

“Hello, Kagome. May I speak with you?” His polite, even tones unsettled her. Something wasn't right here.

 

“Sure.” She stepped back and shut the door when he glided over the threshold. “Was there something you wanted to talk about?” She shot over her shoulder as she led the way into the sitting room.

 

“Yes.” His clipped tone told her little. She gave up and sat down in a big fluffy chair. He sat across from her, but did not sit back with his easy grace like he usually did. He was on the edge of the seat, looking like he was getting ready to get up and spring into action. His forearms rested against the top of his thighs and his fingers drummed gently against each other, over and over. Sesshoumaru was not a fidgety person, and yet here he was, looking like he was humming with unstoppable energy. Finally his steely eyes caught a hold of hers.

 

“She told you, didn't she?”

 

“What are you talking about? Who told me what?”

 

His eyes narrowed. “Your too innocent to pull the act, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Your friend told you what she knew about me.” It was a statement of fact. A false statement.

 

“She never told me anything. She only told me that she asked you what had happened on the road trip. I never asked her about… well, whatever she used against you.”

 

“And I never offered the information. I prefer to keep my word, Sesshoumaru.” Kagome jumped at Sango's voice, but Sesshoumaru merely turned his contemplative, yet burning eyes on her. She seemed to be momentarily thrown by his gaze.

 

“Sango! What are you doing here?” Kagome managed to make her voice work. Sango smiled her way, ignoring Sesshoumaru's demanding eyes.

 

“Hi hun. I was driving home and saw his car in your driveway. I stopped and your mother let me in. Sorry to barge in like this, but she said I could come in. I can leave if you want.”

 

“You did not tell her?” Sesshoumaru rose from the couch and stepped toward Sango menacingly. Kagome stood abruptly and flew to his side, not understanding her intention until she wrapped her hand around his arm.

 

“Do you think I would lie to you?” She said coldly. He blinked in surprise, his eyes glancing briefly at the hand on his upper arm. She clenched her teeth to keep her from moving -or removing- her hand.

 

“I did not think of it. I do not question your loyalty to the truth. But I do have to question where this book came from. And why my past is written in it as if I lived all those years ago.” His eyes probed hers and she tipped her head to the side.

 

“Your past?” She asked softly.

 

“Yes. One of the stories in here was identical to mine. Almost, that is. There were some minor details that were missing, and all the names were different, but it was the same nonetheless.”

 

“Huh? What book?” Sango was peering at them curiously. Kagome reluctantly removed her hand from Sesshoumaru warm, muscular arm and reached back to the table to pick the book up and hand it to Sango. Sesshoumaru's gaze shuttered and he looked as though he would have liked to snatch it back, but he didn't. Sango read the title, the back, and the inside cover before she handed it back to Kagome, looking perplexed.

 

“Do you really believe in that curse? I mean, do you think…” She didn't finish her sentence, her gaze flicking from Sesshoumaru to Kagome. Kagome laughed softly, thinking to herself that right now that was the million-dollar question.

 

“Well, the thing is, I'm not sure. I know its nuts, I know it seems impossible, but it makes so much sense, to me anyway.” She glanced at Sesshoumaru before directing her eyes back at the ground.

 

“I think your right, Kagome.” Kagome brought her gaze up sharply to meet Sango's and saw she was totally serious. She smiled softly in thanks and got a return smile, silent communication that told her Sango would always be on her side, for better or for worst.

 

“Your both lunatics.” Sesshoumaru's low, cold voice snapped their attention to him. His voice was barely hiding his raging emotion. “You have both lost it. A curse? A curse to cause us misfortune until we admit love for each other?” He glared at both of them, anger in his gaze.

 

“Bullshit.”

 

“Look, I know you're a realistic kind of guy, but it makes sense. I mean, you had the misfortune of loving someone who you found out your father had been having an affair with. It must have hurt a lot to have been played like that, but look at the facts. Beside both of your lives being full of pain, there's also that remarkable similarity about opposites. I mean, if anyone were more opposite then you two, they would have had to be different species!” Sango was watching Sesshoumaru very carefully for his reaction. She took as step back when she saw absolute rage in his eyes. Even Kagome was shocked by the full-blooded anger and loss reflected clearly behind his translucent depths.

 

“Sesshoumaru…” she started to say.

 

“DARE you to mention my past, it is unforgivable. I had your word you would not mention it if I told you what happened on the road trip. Your have broken your word, you bitch.” He was shaking.

 

Anger flared, clear and tangible, in Kagome.

 

“You have the nerve to call her a bitch after what you did to me?” She whirled so she was in front of Sesshoumaru, fire cackling in her. “You stomped on my heart, squished it into the ground, told me that I didn't know what I felt, and then turned your back like you felt nothing for me! Your past was hard, granted, but that does not give you the right to lash out at anyone and everyone just because you got hurt once!” She took a large breath and let it out.

 

“Don't you remember the day before I left for Japan? Don't you remember what you said? That my situation was similar to yours? Doesn't that mean my pain is similar to yours? Did that ever occur to you? After the pain you had gone through, you were doing the same to someone else, except you don't have an excuse.” His shocked look only drove her words on. But he fired back at her before she could continue.

 

“Do you call playing with someone an excuse? Purposefully using them, just to drive their family apart? It goes under the things you label `excuses'?” He had turned his rage onto her instead of Sango.

 

“No, but that doesn't give you the right to do it as well. Unless that was what you intended. Which reminds me,” She let a smile play on her face when his anger turned once again to surprise. “You were wrong. You must remember when I told you I loved you and you said it was not real and would not last?” She did not wait for an answer. “Well, how is lasting four years for you? Do you think it's going to fade anytime now? Do you think it's all from stress now?” She knocked herself on the head lightly. “Oh, duh, it must be the real thing. Huh, I never would have guessed.” Her voice dripped sarcasm.

 

Sesshoumaru's eyes flickered through so many emotions at once she couldn't keep up. She thought she saw relief, regret, and a whole myriad of other things, but it was just too fast. Then, without a word, he strode to Sango, plucking the book out of her hands and departing from the room without a backwards glance. He slammed the door shut and Kagome stood still, her eyes clenched shut. She heard him start his car and roar away, his tires squealing. Her mind rolled and boiled and many ideas rolled through her mind.

 

“Kagome, I'm sorry about that…”

 

“Its not your fault.” She hadn't realized her teeth were grinding against each other until she tried to talk and found they were clenched tightly together.

 

“Well, aren't you going to go after him?” Her mother's voice caught her off guard and her eyes shot open. Her mother was lounging in the doorway to the hallway, staring at her intently.

 

“Go after him?” She echoed. She wasn't about to admit she had seriously been considering it. And say what? She thought.

 

“Honey, you love him. And I know love when I see it, and he certainly does love you, no matter what he tries to pretend. If you don't go after him now, you may not ever be able to love anybody else. What a waste that will be, if your love was wasted on someone who is just too hurt to admit his love without some prodding.” Her mother crossed the space from the hallway to the middle of the room where Kagome stood.

 

“She's right, you know. I really don't like it,” Sango admitted. “But if you love him that much, and he does love you, then you'll never be happy without him.” She laughed suddenly. “Ya know, when he told me about you guys, I told him that I knew he was in love with you, and he got so angry. I told him that I would never let him have you because of how much he had already hurt you, and here I am today telling you to go after him and risk your heart again.” She came to stand next to Kagome's mother. “But I don't want you to live you're the rest of your life like this, just working and working and pretending you don't hurt. You have to go after him.”

 

“My god, it's the persuasive crew.” Kagome tried for some humor but no one laughed. She sighed. “I don't know. I just don't think it will do any good. I mean, what can I do, what can I say, to make him understand?” She felt her mother take her hand a give it a soft squeeze. Warmth and love filled her for the two people standing in front of her, her best friend and her mother. She threw her arms around her mother and then Sango in turn, smiling at both of them. She knew at that moment that she was going to try, one last time. It might not help any, but she was sure as hell going to give it her best shot.

 

“Thanks guys.” She gave them both a one-armed hug and then dashed into the kitchen to get her car keys.

 

~**~

 

END.