InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Early December ❯ Fifteen ( Chapter 16 )

Disclaimer: If I still need to answer this question you might need to get your head examined. . .

Author's Note: ^_^ Hello, and welcome to the first chapter whilst in month 4! (The very beginning of month 4, though, since this is happening right after last chapter. . .)

^_^;

Anyway- I'm glad you all enjoyed last chappie! ^_^ It's fun to make you all happy. . .

Well, a lot of people have been asking about when Kag's gonna give birth and when Kouga and Kikyo and the plot are gonna come back in. My answers: Soon!

Come on! Give the pup a chance to DEVELOP! ::laughs:: Gods! ^_~ As for the plot, Kikyo, and Kouga- mostly in month 5. Kikyo in this month (MONTH, not chapter), perhaps, but everything else will really start happening in the 5th month. That's the problem, actually- I have all these ideas for the later months, but not too many for these first 4. That's why it keeps taking me so long to update- I need to scrounge up a chapter idea. ^_^;;;

Enjoy this chappie! ^_^

~*~

~Chapter Fifteen: Sexual Innuendo~

~Inu-Yasha's PoV~

"So," Miroku grins widely the next morning; his smirk so large that you can count each and every one of his white teeth, "didja have fun last night?"

"Mjgmehm. . . ?" I reply intelligently, barley able to lift my head to acknowledge him.

So tired. . .

"Kagome really wore you out, didn't she?"

"Gmhmjeth. . ."

The monk chuckles joyfully, rubbing his staff with a moist cloth so it glitters in the bright July sun.

Ugh. . .

How can he be so damn talkative this early in the morning? I mean, it's only about noon!

. . .

Well, it feels earlier. . .

"I must admit I'm jealous. . ." my friend continues, oblivious as I lean my back against a tall, thick tree- my head flopping forward as my heavy eyelids droop. "I miss that blessed time. . . Sango was so- - - so- - -"

He cut himself off with another soft laugh as his eyes fall upon me (I can feel them piece the crown of my head).

"Are you really *that* tired? Come now- you're a hanyou! Surely you should have more stamina!"

It takes me a few minutes to reply. Give me credit- it takes a lot to talk! First I have to think through what I want to say, then how to form my mouth around the sentence, and lastly how to actually spit the words out.

A lot to process for a sleep-deprived mind.

"Like you should talk," I'm finally able to grumble, though it sounds like a yawn more then anything. "I recall, some time back, having to stop our shard quest for over two months because *someone* kept falling asleep during our hikes."

"Hey!" he retorted indignantly, cheeks pinking slightly. "I'm only huma-!"

"And then there was the time Sango woke up half the neighboring town- which was at least a mile away- with screams and cries about *someone* not loving her anymore `cause that *someone* fell asleep on her. . ."

"Now that's a bit of an exagerat-!"

"AND the time she kicked *someone's* ass for not groping her's!"

At this I sense him grinning again.

He'd never let his wife live that one down.

"Ah, yes. Well, I *do* try to make up for that one whenever possible. . ."

Snorting softly, I cross my arms over my torso and cut off the rest of my reply. I don't really care- I just want to sleep.

Silence passes between us for a moment- - -

And then-

"UNCCY IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINU!"

Oh gods.

"Unccy Inu!" Kaguya gushes as she runs down the side of a tall, near by hill- the bouquet of daisies she has in her hands flying everywhere in her rush. Giggling as a soft, hot breeze plays through, she hitches up the side of her dress before pouncing on my back, successfully knocking me face first onto the ground.

"Unncy Inu, why're you so pooped this morning?" the little girl inquires seriously, though she's obviously having the time of her life. Bouncing up and down on my back, she tugs once or twice at my hair before deciding to braid the blossoms into it. Craning my neck to glance tiredly back at her, I notice the perverted twinkle in her eye, which completely outshines the innocence she is trying to portray. Groaning softly, I turn my face quickly away.

Not bothering to explain since she already knew damn well why, I simply grumble inaudibly and lay my head back down on the warm earth, my stomach flat against the ground and my arms outstretched on either side.

"Now, Kaguya," her father gently reprimands, though a note of amusement is all too detectable in his voice, "leave poor Inu-Yasha alone. He's had a long, HARD night."

. . .

"You're disgusting, Miroku."

"That's why everyone loves me!" he beams, winking at his daughter as I glare coldly.

The child giggles right along with her dad. "Unncy Inu and Awntie Kagome got it ooooooooooon!"

"You *both* make me want to puke."

"Now, Inu-Yasha, only the woman is supposed to have morning sickness."

"Just can it and let me sleep."

"But there wouldn't be any fun in that!"

The little girl on my back squeals in agreement, throwing a few flowers randomly into the turquoise sky. "No fun, no fun!"

Grumbling, I accept my sleepless fate with irritation, flexing my claws in the hot, dry soil.

All right, breath in. . .

Breath out. . .

Breath in. . .

"Monk," I ground out, "get a life. And get Kaguya one too, while you're at it."

"Oh, come now, my friend! Lighten up!"

"No."

"Peas?" Kaguya pouts as she leans over my head; her large, wide, cute eyes locking with mine while upside down. "Peas and carrots lighten up?"

I regard her quietly for a moment.

"No."

"You're no fun," the girl sighs, sticking out her bottom lip and looking towards her father for agreement. "Isn't that right, daddy?"

"No, it's not," he blinks, as if that's obvious.

His `angelic' smile transforms. "To Kagome he's lots of fun."

. . .

The two laugh.

. . .

Grr. . .

"Would you cut out the sexual innuendo?!" I finally bark, resting my chin in my hands so as to better pierce Miroku with an icy stare. I'd glare at Kaguya later, when it wouldn't kill my neck to do so. "For the love of the gods- she's only four years old!"

The pair glance at one another, violet eyes clashing.

Then they return their gaze to me.

"So?"

"Yeah, so?" the girl echoes.

"SO SHE'S ONLY FOUR!"

They still don't seem to understand why that's so wrong.

Oh, the idiocy- - -

?!

"What's going on out here?!" Sango snaps as she throws open the door of her and her husband's hut, wiping her hands clean on an old rag as she does so. She's not in a good mood this morning, having lost her sleeping place to me and Kag-chan last night.

She need a nap more than I do, it seems.

"Nothing," Kaguya and her father chirp instinctively, looking slightly more nervous now that the exterminator has entered the scene. "Nothing at all."

"Nope, not a thing!"

"I'm being a good girl, mama, nothin's wrong!"

Uh huh.

And I'm the princess of Japan. . .

Sango purses her lips slightly, looking uncertain and rather wary.

"I thought I heard something about. . . about. . ."

She clears her throat, her cheeks flushing slightly as she lowers her voice to a quiet whisper. "Um. . . sexual innuendo . . . ?"

. . . Wow, her hearing is very good. . .

"*What*?" the monk laughs nervously. "Never! No, we were just talking about. . . uh. . . intellectual inns who then go. . . to the park!"

. . .

. . .

. . . ???

Everyone blinks at him, nonplused.

"The heck?" I hiss in his direction after regaining my train of thought, only to be cut off by Kaguya slapping a hand over my mouth.

I guess she doesn't like the train that's left the station. . . (Isn't it great how well I've learned these words from my mate's time? Now I can talk about stuff no one will understand and totally confuse them all! Ha ha!

. . .

Only not in the stupid way that Miroku uses to confuse people.)

"What are you TALKING about?" Sango questions in

exasperation, shaking her head slightly.

"Intellectual people who stay at inns and then go to the park. . . ?" he elaborates slowly, sweating slightly as his plastered smile falters half a tooth.

It sounded more like a question then a statement, but Kaguya nodded in fervent agreement anyway.

The exterminator says nothing for a moment, regarding her husband and daughter critically.

They smile sweetly in return.

And the female comes to a conclusion.

Lucky them (and I mean VERY luck them), Sango's brain seemingly malfunctions due to lack of sleep.

"Fine," she sighs, giving up all hope of ever understanding her family as she turns to head back inside. "Whatever."

But before she disappears completely into the cool depths of the house, she whirls to face me and says in an afterthought: "Oh, yes. Kagome's asleep in here, so be more quiet."

Then she slams the door shut.

. . .

Please don't let the irony escape you.

But anyway. . .

"Sleep, huh?" Miroku softly taunts as my face reunites with the clearing's floor. "Must be jealous."

"Indescribably," I reply in muffled dryness.

Well, not really, no.

Kagome and the pup need the rest, probably more than I do. . .

I just wish I could join them in dreamland.

And leave the perv and his offspring here.

"Poor Unncy," Kaguya soothes, tickling my ear with a daisy. I bat it away listlessly, my arms feeling like lead thanks to fatigue. "But it's `kay. We'll keep you company `till she wakes up."

"No. Please. You don't have to," I drawl into the dirt.

. . .

This is the first time that I've been face down on the ground; speaking into the soil on my own free will.

. . .

I must be loosing it.

Of course, as Sango would say, `you can't loose what you never had'.

. . .

I'd take the time to find it offensive, but I'm too sleepy right now. . .

"So where were we. . . ?" Miroku suddenly beams in deep, fake thought. "Oh yes! We were bashing Inu-Yasha over his and Kagome's night tog- Oh! Hello, Shippo! And how are you on this fine morning?"

Yanking my head off the earth once more, I glance to my left- and find the kitsune trying to silently pass, looking incredibly ashamed at being caught sneaking.

But not half as ashamed as he did when our eyes locked.

His face flaming as his emerald orbs dart from me, to the hut (where he could smell my mate), and back to me again, he squeaks oddly and bolts off over the hill and towards the village, reeking of heavy embarrassment.

. . . ?

"He caught you and Kagome last night," the monk explains cheerfully as I watch the boy in confusion. "I bet seeing his parents like that was sort of odd. . ."

. . .

Oh gods. . .

Groaning once more, I allow my head to flop forward in defeat for the umpteenth time.

It's going to be a hell of a long day. . .

~*~

Sorry this chapter's so short, once again, really pressed for time. . .

Better a short update then none at all, right? ^_^;;;

Anyway. . .

I hope you enjoyed this chappie and don't worry- I'll update again ASAP! Christmas Break starts Friday afternoon, and I'll have some free-time then. ^_^ I hope to finish up A Pirate's Life For Me and Nightmare's Memories soon, and then I'll just be writing *two* stories- this one and probably `Fragment of Eternity'.

It's all good, ne? ^_~

Please R&R!

Ja ne!