InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Eat You Alive ❯ Big wheels and big dates ( Chapter 10 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: Rub-a-dub-dub. Three men in a tub….. I'm not even going to go there. I don't own anything. That includes Applebee's and Tama from Fushigi Yugi.

Chapter 10: Big wheels and big dates

“Hello kiddos!” Totosai called at the ungodly hour of nine in the morning. He heard three groans from upstairs and knew they had yet to start their days. “Lazy slugs.”

He went to the kitchen and got a drink before trudging up the stairs to wake them. “This is too hard for an old body.” He stood in the middle of the hall and took a lungful of air. “Wake up ya lazies!” He shouted. A couple of thuds signaled Sango and Miroku falling out of bed and the growl was Inuyasha's. “Time's a-wastin' and there's records to be made. Hop-to.”

Two of the members practically crawled from their rooms and glared at the old man. The third stomped out and stood growling in the hallway.

“We just fell asleep seven hours ago.” Sango yawned. “It's not time to get up yet.”

“Seven hours is a full night's sleep.” He informed them.

“Says who?” Miroku rubbed his eyes.

“Says the National Health Department. Er. The Department of Health and…..some scientist guys.”

“Well I don't care what the fuck they said.” Inuyasha groused. “I was already awake, so stop shouting.”

“And I need my ten hours so good night.” Sango started walking back to her room. Miroku followed her.

“Oh, no you don't.” Inuyasha pulled back on their shirt collars. “I never thought I'd say this, but Totosai is right. We need to start recording this thing.”

“Come on Inuyasha!” Sango whined. “Just three more hours and I can perform at my best.”

“I'll give you thirty minutes to get cleaned up and dressed.”

She glared and stomped off to her bedroom.

“Wow. And I thought I was the only one that got that glare.” Miroku mumbled on the way to his bathroom.

“You did the right thing Inuyasha.” Totosai patted his back. “Now, it's time for my lunch.”

The hanyou was left staring at the old youkai.

“Lunch?”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*Afterwards, in the basement*~*~*~*~*~*~*

They brought out the tape from the recorder. All of their sessions while on the road were on it.

The boys skipped through about ten minutes of tape for no apparent reason. Sango made a mental note to go back later and see what they were hiding.

After they wrote out their own notes for the songs and set them on the stands in front of them, they were ready.

“Okay kids.” Totosai called through the mike on the other side of the sound-proof glass. “This is your first time using this recording studio. So, Inuyasha, no temper tantrums. This is new equipment. Sango, try not to make Miroku crash through anything. And Miroku, uh, good luck. Now let's do this.”

The band sighed. He came to all of one session and had them pegged. This did not set well with them.

“All right.” Inuyasha said. “We'll start with Brightside, just to get it out of the way.”

“But I wanted to do Sweetness.” Miroku piped up from behind his drums.

“I just want to get this thing done, okay?” Inuyasha explained. “Then we can do Sweetness.”

“Fine.” He settled back in his seat. “It's all about you isn't it?”

“No, it's-” Inuyasha flipped around. “Don't start okay? I had a bad night.”

Sango leaned over. “Dreams about Kagome again?”

“Yes. But not like you think.”

He was silent after that and signaled the manager to start recording. They had Mr. Brightside done in just a few minutes. Twenty minutes later they had the re-recordings done, and it was ready to edit and mix. They took a break and listened to it.

“Something is off.” Inuyasha muttered. “I don't know what it is, but I want to do it one more time just to be sure.”

“For not even wanting to do this, you're making us redo it a lot.” Miroku grumbled.

“Shut up houshi.” He growled.

`Don't take it out on your best friend. It's not his fault you aren't man enough to get her.'

`I don't need any flak from you today.'

`Aw. Poor baby. Why don't you go cry about it.'

`Shut up.'

`I will. As soon as you start acting like a man and not a wimp.'

Inuyasha's growl deepened at his internal dialogue and his band-mates stepped back a few feet.

“Alright, okay, we'll do it one more time. Just don't kill me.” Miroku whimpered.

The hanyou came out of his trance and looked around. Now he was starting to truly scare his friends. This had gone on long enough. He needed an outlet. Something to get out this tension inside of him.

“Totosai!”

“Yes?”

“Is there a gym in this place or something?”

“There's a training room upstairs. What are you planning to do?”

“I need to blow off some steam. Is it sturdy?”

“It was built with youkai in mind.” He got out of his canvas chair. “Follow me.”

The old man took Inuyasha up the stairs and to the backyard.

“Why's it all the way out here?”

“Inuyasha, you know how hard youkai try to work out their frustrations. It would be very destructive to have it inside the house. All those attacks we pull.” He chuckled. “It can get a little messy.”

The hanyou nodded and stepped inside the metal building.

From the outside, it looked like a fortress. Inside, it looked like a prison.

The domed ceiling was made of bullet-proof plastic and covered in a special flame-retardant gel that had been hardened through a process perfected in the youkai circles eons ago for when they went into battle against each other. There were various weights and punching bags, a treadmill, a fridge (presumably with water in it), and a towel rack. In the center was a giant space with a cement floor perfect for sparring.

“Looks strong enough.” Inuyasha muttered and dragged a huge and heavy punching bag to the middle of the floor.

“I'll leave you to it.” The old youkai walked back to the basement. He could hear the sound of a heavy fist slowly reducing the sturdy punching bag to dust. “We'll need a new one of those.”

Once he entered the studio, Sango and Miroku scrambled from their seats and ran over to him.

“Is he okay?” Sango asked. “Because he didn't look like himself before.”

“He's fine.” Totosai assured them. “He's still a young pup, trying to get out of hearing the voice inside is my guess.”

“Voice inside?” Miroku asked. “I've never heard of that.”

“That's because you didn't need to know. Just be aware of the fact that he's listening to a very annoying side of himself that he probably forgot was even there. He'll be fine once he starts listening to it.”

“A voice inside. Hmm.” Miroku started thinking about that. “What's it like? Your conscience?”

“Like you even have one of those to compare it to.” Sango said.

“Occasionally.” He smiled at her.

Totosai thought about it. “Sort of. Only much more insistent. It wants to be heard. It's like it's watching you all the time. It laughs at your follies. It sees all the things you do. It, well, it's like a whirlwind inside your head. The noise gets to be too much sometimes and that's why he's running away from it. But he can't get away. It will be there when he sleeps, showing him all the things he could have if only he'd listen.”

(AN: Does anyone see where I'm going with this?)

Sango whistled lowly. “It does all that? Man. I'm glad I'm not youkai.”

Miroku was silent on his stool. “This sounds like…..it could be…..” He thought some more. “Sango, could you get me some paper please?”

“Get it yourself.”

“But,” he protested, “you always get Inuyasha paper when he asks for it.”

“Well, you're not Inuyasha.” She said.

He growled and stood up. “Fine. I'll get it myself.”

The monk walked upstairs and to the office. “What did she mean by that? `You're not Inuyasha'. Does she like him? Is that why she's so reluctant to come into my arms?” He sighed. “Doubt it. But he did say he's seen her naked. Well, practically naked. It's more than she's ever shown me willingly. Could they have…..? No, they're my friends. And Inuyasha's my best friend. He knows how I feel about her. And he's got Kagome now. He wouldn't. But could she feel that way even after he's confessed that he really likes Kagome? No. There's nothing going on between those two. Can't be.”

But that little voice he hardly ever heard peeped up. `Maybe they could have and you would never even know. How many times have they been alone together?'

`Not many.'

`But how long were you gone those times? Maybe something happened between them but they stopped it and never told you.'

`They couldn't keep a secret like that. I'm just being paranoid.'

`Are you?'

He had to think about that. No, he was just paranoid. Sango and Inuyasha? Now that was comedy. Those two together would be like a time bomb waiting to explode. He could just see it:

“Inuyasha, can you take out the trash?”

“Do it yourself bitch.”

“Asshole.”

Here's when she slaps him. Then he would get angry and yell more. They would always be fighting and unhappy. It would never work. They were too alike to have a relationship. How could he even have entertained such a thought?

He trotted back downstairs, safe in the knowledge that he was an idiot and knew his best friends like he knew his own hand.

And that was pretty damn good.

“Got it!” He called. “Now, Totosai, could you repeat exactly what you said? I have an idea.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*Training room*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Inuyasha panted as he looked over the wrecked punching bag and treadmill. He'd run the thing into the ground, having it on the highest setting for an hour.

The fridge was full of water and he downed a bottle in no time, then wiped the sweat off his face and chest with one of the towels. This room was really helpful. He was calm now. No more ripping off Miroku's head today. He hoped.

The hanyou walked back into the house and saw everyone sitting at the table in the breakfast nook.

They were staring at him.

“Hi.” He drawled. “Sorry about the noise.”

“That's fine Inu.” Miroku smiled. “We barely heard you.”

“And I could ignore it.” Totosai put in.

“We have another song.” Sango said. “And we wanted your opinion on it.”

“Really?” Inuyasha walked over and sat down. “Let's have it.”

“Okay.” Miroku handed him the paper. “Totosai helped a lot.”

“He did?” Inuyasha asked distractedly while he read. “This sounds oddly familiar.” He set it on the table and looked up. “You helped old man? `Cause this sounds like a youkai thing to me. You sure you didn't write it for them?”

“Well, it was based on something that happened to me a long time ago.” He sat back. “And I figure now you're going through it too. So when your friends asked what was wrong, I explained it as best I could.”

“I see.” He grumbled. He didn't like them knowing what he was going through. It was his problem not theirs. “Did you tell them why it was happening?”

“I don't know why.” Totosai scratched his head. “It could be any number of things.”

“Inuyasha,” Miroku brought the hanyou's attention to himself, “we all agree that we have enough happy songs on this album. We're known for being moody and we needed a downer. This would be perfect. Will you help us write the music for it?”

“Yeah.” He stood. “I'll help. But I'm taking a shower first. I stink.”

Sango held her nose. “You didn't need to tell me that. Did you even put on deodorant today?”

“Shut up Sango.” He walked upstairs.

“Looks like he's feeling better.” Miroku grinned. “Back to his grouchy self.”

“Yep. Just like we all know and love.” She agreed.

Miroku glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. Thankfully, she just looked relieved.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*Later that day*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Inuyasha finished his shower and walked back downstairs.

They recorded two more songs by three in the afternoon and called it a day. They would do the editing tomorrow on those ones and see if they needed any additional tweaks after that.

“Okay kids. Good work.” Totosai said. “We'll finish this round up tomorrow and start on some more.” He stood from his chair. “And finish that song. I think it'll be a keeper.”

“That's just because you helped write it.” Inuyasha joked.

“Yes. Well.” He shrugged. “I'm not the one singing it.” He walked up the stairs. “Now go do, uh, whatever it is you do.”

They all laughed once he was out of earshot.

“Did you see him blushing?” Sango gasped. “It's like he's embarrassed that we gave him some credit.”

“Maybe we should be more…..appreciative of his contributions.” Miroku struggled to keep a straight face.

Inuyasha snorted. “He hardly ever makes any contributions. But we could go easier on him. This is his job.”

The other two nodded and they all walked up the stairs to find something to do.

“So, Inuyasha…..” Sango said.

“What?”

“You gonna call Kagome like I said to do?”

He stopped. Miroku walked into his back.

“Hey!” The monk caught himself on the handrail.

“I don't think so.”

“Why not?” The girl shouted.

“I really tanked it last night.” He started walking again. “I don't think she'd like to see me again so soon.”

“Come on.” Sango grilled him. “What did I say? She likes you. She might not act like it at times, but that's only because she does like you. If she didn't she wouldn't have said `yes' last night.”

“You make sense.” He nodded. “Sort of.”

“So just do it.”

“Yeah Inu. The worst she can say is no.” Miroku smiled. “How bad can it be?”

`Humiliating, degrading, heart-wrenching, and would leave me a broken man for, at the very least, a month.' He sighed.

The hanyou resigned himself to the fact that they wouldn't shut up until he did it. So he walked to the hall phone when they got upstairs. Then he remembered, he didn't know her number.

“Hey Jijii!” He shouted.

“I'm in the kitchen Inuyasha!” Totosai called back.

Inuyasha walked in to find the fire youkai finishing off an entire chicken.

“Hungry?” He scoffed.

“Not anymore.” The bald one said.

“Look, I need Kagome's number and you've got it. So give it.”

“What do you need her number for? She lives right across the street.”

“How did you know….. Never mind. I can't look her in the face right now, but I need to talk to her.” He grumbled. “Otherwise those two'll never get off my back.”

“Okay.” The youkai got out his cell. “Ah, here it is, `Young miko'.” He wrote it down.

“What did you call her?” Inuyasha absently took the paper.

“What? `Young Miko'?”

“She's not a miko.” Inuyasha reasoned. “Miroku said she had no spiritual aura.”

Totosai looked at him straight in the eyes. “Are you serious? You didn't sense it?”

Inuyasha shook his head.

“Well, it is very faint. Guess you've never met a real miko before. They are rare and you're young.” The hanyou gave a displeased huff. “And she is untrained. The aura around her is very unstable. Probably why Miroku couldn't sense it. But she is most definitely a miko.”

“You don't say.” Inuyasha thought about it. “She did mention that she lived at a shrine.”

“There you go.” Totosai took a ham out of the freezer and blew flame over it until it was a toasty black. “Do you want any?”

Inuyasha stared at the meat. “No thanks. You eat it.”

“Well, I don't mind if I do.” He downed it with one gulp.

The hanyou walked from the kitchen, amazed at the old man's digestive tract. He took the phone off the hook in the hallway and punched in the number his manager had given him.

“Hello?” Kagome's voice was faint and being drowned out by weird music.

“Hello. Kagome?”

“Yes. Who is this?” It got clearer and the music seemed farther away.

“It's Inuyasha.”

“Oh, you.” Her tone conveyed her reluctance to speak with him. “What do you want?”

“Well, I was wondering if, just maybe, I could make it up to you.” He bit his lip.

“Make what up?”

“Last night.” He hurried to explain. “I know I wasn't the best date, but I can do better.”

Kagome was silent for a few tense seconds. “Why not? I need something to do tonight. Otherwise I'll have images of Kikyo in a bikini in my head forever.”

Inuyasha chuckled. “Why's that?”

“We're at a shoot for Glamour's summer catalog.”

“Ah. I can see how that would be mentally scarring.”

“If you're making fun of me-”

“No! I'm just saying, what girl would want to see that in a swim suit?”

“Hn.” The girl grunted. “Well I don't know many guys that wouldn't mind.”

“Well, I might just prove you wrong.”

He could hear her grin over the line. “What time?”

“Huh?”

She laughed. “What time do you want to pick me up? Or do you want me to drive again?”

He coughed. “Much as I love your car, and you driving it, I think I'll pick you up.”

“Okay. And where do you want to go?”

“I don't know.” He thought. “Do you have an Applebee's and maybe a theatre?”

“Yes we do.” She got out her date book. “I'm free anytime after eight.”

“Sounds good. So I'll pick you up at eight-thirty?”

“How about nine.”

“Fine with me.”

“Okay. I'll see you then.”

“Looking forward to it.”

They hung up and Inuyasha danced down the hall to Miroku's room.

“What are you so happy about?” His friend asked him.

“She said yes! Can you believe it?”

The monk's eyebrows shot up. “Barely. So Sango was right.”

“Seems like it.” He stopped his dance and flopped on the bed next to the man. “I'm picking her up at nine and we're going to dinner and a movie.”

“You're picking her up?”

“Yeah.”

“In what?”

“Uhhhhhh.” He hadn't thought about that.

“You don't have a car. And neither do Sango or I.”

“Maybe there's one in the garage.”

“I seriously doubt it.”

“Well, they've had everything else we needed.”

“Yes. But why would they give us a car to escape from the studio in?”

“Good point. I'll go check. Just in case.”

“You do that.”

The hanyou sprinted off and Miroku laid back down to finish his exfoliation.

“Okay, it says to apply a thin layer and let dry. Easy. Then peel off. No problem. And this one says to scrub abrasively. What? If there is a burning sensation or redness and/or rash call your doctor. If accidentally ingested call a poison control center immediately.” He stared at the bottle. “This is what girl's do every week?” He threw the bottles into the bathroom. “Screw that. I don't need `baby soft skin' that bad.”

“Hey Miroku?” Sango called from his door. “Have you seen my face mask and scrub?”

“No dearest.” She stared at him suspiciously. “Have you tried my bathroom?” He laughed nervously.

“Why would they be in-”

“Never mind.”

“You stole them didn't you?”

“I only wanted to have skin as soft as yours, beloved.”

“You're creeping me out.” She grabbed them off the floor, knowing he was watching her bend over but not caring. “I'm going to leave now.” She said slowly and backed out into the hall. “Bye.” The girl made a mad dash for her room.

The man left behind sighed. “Maybe I'm coming on too strong.”

She made it to her room and leaned on the door once she closed it. “Does he really mean all that stuff?”

Sango sighed and slid down the door. She pulled her knees up to her chest and contemplated the oddness of the male species. “He's too damn confusing. If he likes me so much, why does he always grope me and seem so devious? Peeking on me like that when all I wanted to do was cut my toenails. He's such a dork sometimes. He knows I don't let anybody see my feet.”

Inuyasha, meanwhile, had just returned from checking the garage for a car.

“It's not in there.” He said to Miroku.

The man looked back up from his ever-present manga. “Told you so.” He stood up. “It looks like we'll just have to buy you a car.”

“What?”

“You heard me. We've got enough to buy one with cash if we wanted to.”

“But I don't want to go to a dealership.”

“So how do you propose we get a car to pick Kagome up in?”

“We?”

“You. Whatever.” He stretched. “Let's just do this thing.”

Inuyasha growled but they eventually got out the phonebook and found the dealership pages.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*Later that day*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The two men stepped out of the cab and onto the lot.

Inuyasha looked over the selection. “This is the one you chose.”

“What's wrong with it?” Miroku asked, thoroughly confused. He thought it had plenty of good cars.

The hanyou just looked to the left where salesmen swarmed, hoping for that big sale to get them their commission.

Inuyasha looked at Miroku and sighed. “I knew this was a bad idea.”

“Can I help you sir?” The first one that got there asked. The others groaned and backed off.

“Yes.” Miroku spoke up. He ignored the hanyou's incredulous stare. “We're looking for a car. And we'd like to drive it off the lot today.”

Money signs flashed behind the man's eyes. “Well I can most certainly help with that. We have the largest selection of brand name vehicles in the tri-county area.”

“Thank you Mr……?”

“Sukunami. Or Taka if you prefer.” He shook Miroku's hand. “Although my wife calls me Tamahome, but that's a whole other story.”

(AN: hehe. Puns. Get it? Other story? I`ll just shut up now.)

“Right.” The young monk drew out with a pleasant smile. “This is my friend, Inuyasha. He's actually the one that's in the market, as it were.”

“Hello Inuyasha.” Tama tried to shake his hand and only got a grunt. “Right. Okay. Well, we have some excellent choices today. There's actually a special on our Volkswagens. Did you have a certain car in mind?”

“Something big and fast.” Inuyasha said shortly.

“He has to keep up with his girlfriend.” Miroku added with a wink.

The man smiled. “I know how that is. Women, huh?”

“Yeah.” Miroku liked this guy already. “So, you said you're married?”

“Yes.” His eyes turned soft as he thought about his wife and child. “Four years now. Miaka's a jewel. I'd do anything for her. And our son is growing up so fast.”

“Hear that Inuyasha? A wife and kid. Maybe you should get notes from him.”

“Leave me alone. I just want to get this over with.”

“Okay.” Tama led them over to Corvettes. “These are fast, but they're not very big.” He turned around and indicated the Hummers. “And those are big but they're not fast.”

“You don't have any that are both?” Miroku asked for his silent friend.

“Not really. The Hummers eventually get up and go, but some people complain about the bulk.”

“I never liked their look. Too `war-zone,' you know?”

The salesman nodded. “Of course there are the trucks.” He led them over to the truck section and noticed the friend perk up. “We have many options for these. There's your Ford, the Chevy or-”

“Just show me the fastest, biggest, reddest one you got.”

“Can do.” Tama led him to one truck that had major potential. “This is a cherry-red Ford F250 quad-cab. Gets up to a hundred and fifteen and has a CD player, air conditioner/heater, automatic transmission, a V-8 engine, whitewall tires, a spacious backseat and four cup holders.”

“You can never have too many cup holders.” Miroku muttered.

“I like it.” Inuyasha said slowly. He looked up at it from below the sixty-five inch tires. “I really like it.”

“Would you like a test drive?”

Inuyasha's eyes glittered. “Aa.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*Back at the house*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“I can't believe you're going to pick her up in that monster!” Sango yelled when she found out why they boys had returned in the big-wheel monster truck. “Are you insane?!”

“No, he's just crazy in love.” Miroku taunted from the passenger's seat.

“Shut up Miroku.” Inuyasha jumped out of it. “It's the best truck ever Sango. You have to see it.” He picked her up and leapt back in. “Look. All this and four cup holders.”

“Well, you can never have too many cup holders.” She mumbled.

“That's what I said!” Miroku told her. He leaned over. “So, would you like me to-”

“No.”

“Take you to the tractor pull?” He finished in a country accent.

“That's not what I thought you were going to say.” She stated lamely.

“I know.”

“Do you think she'll like it?” Inuyasha asked them.

“I think she'll be shocked.” Sango said.

“And amazed.” Miroku added cheerily. “What girl wouldn't like to be on top of the world?”

“I don't know.” Sango said deadpan, tilting her head to the side.

“Speaking of which.” Miroku grinned. “How about I rock your world?”

“Now that I knew was coming.” Sango sighed. “Inuyasha, how do I get out of this thing?” She looked past him at the ground far below.

“Just jump out.” He demonstrated. “And if you can't do it, I'll catch you.” He shouted up.

“Okay.” She leaned out of the door and turned around. Slowly she slipped out of the truck and landed on her own two feet. “That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.”

Miroku walked around the back and stood next to her. “Yeah. The trick is to not look down.”

“I see.”

“What time is it?” Inuyasha asked them.

Sango looked at her watch. “Um, seven-fifteen.”

“I've got two hours.”

“Counting down the minutes huh?”

“I want everything to go right this time. So I have to work out any anger before I go. Then get cleaned up and dressed. What do you think she'll like? The suit jacket or the t-shirt? And then I have to get her some flowers. Chicks like flowers, right Sango?” She nodded. “And then there's the directions. I don't even know where we're going or the show times. What movie will she want to see?”

“Nervous?” Miroku asked.

“Terrified.” He confessed. “What if someone tries to hit on her and I hit him instead?”

“Relax.” Sango soothed. “Clear your head and do what you have to do to get ready.”

“Right. Relax.” He breathed in. “I'm relaxing.” He dashed off to the house.

“Think he'll be okay?” Sango asked the man beside her.

“He'll be fine.” Miroku shook his head. “They're perfect for each other.”

“Yeah.” The girl sighed and began walking in.

“Hey, Sango?” He asked from beside her.

“What?”

“Have you and Inuyasha ever….. You know?”

She stopped walking. “Why would you even think something like that?”

“I don't know.” He scratched his head. “Just.” The boy sighed, searching for the right words. “Sometimes you two seem so familiar with each other.”

“He's my best friend Miroku. Of course I'm familiar with him.”

“Yeah.” He sighed. “I'm an idiot.”

She watched as he walked off shaking his head. Her heart cried out for him to be okay and start acting normal. But maybe that's what she loved about him. That he was a little odd.

She took a cassette from her pocket. “Now to see what they were so freaked about. What is on this tape that they wouldn't want me to hear?”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hello peoples! Two in one day. You love me right? This chapter was written in two days, but the other one took like five. And I'm sorry about the wait. I've been meaning to get online for like a week, but I haven't found the time. Anyway. Love you all and I hope you review. For me. Mainly my sanity and self-image.

Sorry for the minor cliffy. I'm in the process of writing chapter 11. Can't believe I wrote more in three weeks than I did in six months. Anyway, I really hope you still like this and think it is funny. It feels like it's turning more towards fluff with me, but I'm struggling to keep it hilarious.

So, with no gilding the lily and without any further ado-

R&R

PS: A sample of my cat's writing- 78 y7uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu7 -Now he's trying to eat my pencil. I think he wishes he had opposable thumbs so he could pick it up easier. He's so cute. But he acts like a demon kitty over half the time. Hmmm.