InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Elsewhere ❯ Chapter Eleven ( Chapter 11 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

By: flowers

I dedicate these chapters to BlueSaiyanAngel. My angel my muse.

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha nor do I profit from this.

“Companion to our demons
they will dance, and we will play
With chairs, candles, and cloth
making darkness in the day”

- Sarah McLachlan, Fumbling Towards Ecstasy

Chapter Eleven

She woke with a start in her bedroom and turned to stare at the closed window. Sunlight danced through the window and onto the floor. The night before seemed almost lost in dark dreams until she found herself in unfamiliar clothes. Jumping up instantly she ran to her closet and changed. Regular shorts and a tee shirt didn't feel or smell quite as nice as his shirt did.

She folded his clothing delicately and placed it under her pillow after making her bed. She again felt a strong urge to call him but refrained. She walked down to the kitchen where it was early enough for her mother to be making breakfast and sat on a futon at the table.

“My my, you're up early this morning,” her mother cocked an eyebrow at her. Her daughter was moping again, must have made a wrong play on the field of love. “Grandpa wants you to watch the booth again, he's doing a ritual cleansing.” Kagome didn't answer but only stared blankly out the window at the opposite wall.

After breakfast she parked herself a the stool in the booth. People coming and going, fondling objects, buying an odd knick-knack here and there. She just looked at the sky. She couldn't keep her mind from wandering into the loose threads of last night. What would she have done differently? First of all she wouldn't have been scared. Her fear ruined everything.

Why was she even thinking this? Her thoughts strayed again to Inuyasha. `I must be trying to fill the gap,' she thought to herself. And what a way to fill it. This was getting stranger and stranger as days passed. She couldn't understand her feelings towards Sesshoumaru but her body's reactions were real enough. Was this because they were finally getting close?

`Damn it, why am I so clingy…' she found it hard to concentrate. Answers to these questions weren't coming easily to her mind. Everything had been so natural with Inuyasha. Nothing troubling, no deep dark thoughts, she understood herself and the feelings she had for him.

Maybe time was the key. Being around him so long made things seem easier, simpler to understand and progress. She never had fear with him even in the few intimate situations that sparked up. Why was everything coming down so hard and fast with Sesshoumaru?

What was she afraid of? She knew he wouldn't have killed her, just roughed her up a bit, or maybe a lot. For some reason she just didn't care. She was an eighteen year old as innocent and stupid as a five year old. She scowled. At her age she should have worked past this `fear' years ago. She almost felt like her friends teased her at times.

“Oh Kagome, I'm sorry, you don't know what that feels like do you?” she could hear their words. She hadn't tried to lie about it like she lied about dating. This was something she definitely couldn't pull off lying about. Then she thought about Sesshoumaru.

Would he even want to see her again? He spoke last night like he could forgive her for her stupidity. He even took her to his house and laid her in his bed. She mused about where he had slept. It wasn't with her, she probably would have woke to that. Why did any of that even happen if he thought so lowly of humans? She almost turned green with realization.

He looked at her as a kind of peer. This must have had something to do with it. She had really abused his trust but could she ever regain it? He was so close to seeing humans as more than `insects' and she had to mess that up. Now he saw her as a `wanton bitch' and rest of humanity as a threat to his mental state probably.

She could never forgive herself. She thought of his face, twisted with… was it rage or desire? Maybe both. They may go hand in hand with youkai she simply didn't know. She remembered his harsh words, husky in her ear. Her body trembled.

She had to be the strangest person in the world to find that exciting.

Maybe it was all just him, because these strong reactions came from him. She decided that must be it. She laughed at herself. Here she was, willing to take tortures to her body to feel his closeness again. She couldn't deny it, like a special drug she felt it once and craved it now like nothing else.

How would she handle these feelings when she was around him again? She let that thought slide and fell into memories of melting at the touch of his mouth and laughed once more. Some people were heterosexual, some homosexual, she however was youkaisexual.

He spent most of the day in his youkai form on his island. Running, hunting, tearing through the landscape. Letting himself be free. He had to work this frustration at himself off somehow. As he grew older it seemed that this island wasn't going to be big enough. It didn't matter, he could find or buy some expanse of land that would accommodate.

He came back to his home early and proceeded to cleanse himself. As he picked up his brush he found strands of her dark hair mixed with his. He needed to see her. Just to observe her mood and reactions. Maybe gage her intentions and feelings on last night's activities. He threw something on and put his hair back. He didn't lock his door as he took to flight.

She was sick of sitting hours on end and closed the booth early to the dismay of her grandfather. She wanted to mope around outside for a while and maybe call her friends. She hadn't seen them for a couple of days.

She thought better of that. Her mind was in no mood for gossip, sex talk, and pity for her lack of worldly knowledge. She went back to her room and grabbed a book. Maybe a story would take her mind off everything. She walked outside once again and lay in the grass under the god tree.

He was in the shadows observing her. He had scented her before he arrived and found she was outside. She was lying on her stomach reading a book with her legs kicked leisurely in the air. She seemed a bit sullen yet in a different way.

Smiling slightly to herself she broke out in laughter and rolled over. “I can't concentrate on anything…” she mumbled and looked into the sky. She closed her eyes and hugged herself.

This behavior was not expected. She seemed blissful in her own world. Had none of this effected her? He inched closer as she was humming to herself. There was no lingering fear, no ominous cloud of deep thought. Just wistful youth and innocence.

She looked down into her shirt and put her hand on the wound he inflicted. She was startled to find it all but gone. Faint silvery scars were all that remained. She smiled deeply again and stretched out. He was perplexed.

Did she enjoy his attentions last night? This was very unusual. He was unsure that she could be completely human. No she was human, he remembered her blood. The memory of that taste filled his senses again and he stepped out of the shadow.

She didn't notice his approach and continued to smile until a shadow blocked the sun from her lidded eyes. She sat up and scooted back shielding her eyes. “Hello?” she said then realized who it was “Sesshoumaru?” He took a seat next to her and looked into the sky himself.

“Are you well?” he asked flatly. She just looked at him. This was a total surprise expecting that she would have to approach him first after all this. She nodded absently. She hadn't felt this good in long while.

“Yeah I feel really good actually,” she replied still shading the sun from her eyes. He glanced at her. It was as if she were waiting for something.

“Youkai blood has certain properties. The small amount I applied should heal you,” he said. If was foolish that he applied any at all but feeling as guilty as he did he had to do something. “It may make you feel strange for a number of days, it will pass,” he left it at that hoping she wouldn't question further. He frowned a bit and looked at the ground.

`I'm so sorry. I want to apologize. I feel like I've jeopardized the trust we have, please forgive me,” she exclaimed suddenly feeling her voice crack. She wanted so desperately to get past all this. Maybe go back to way it was a couple nights ago.

She knew this was impossible. Something would always be changed between them. She was no longer the innocent childlike memory of Rin in his eyes. Somehow she liked that thought but didn't like the gap it was creating.

“Do not apologize. It is in the past now,” he stated. This caused a huge sigh of relief. She turned to him fully and he flinched away. This was surprising and saddening.

“Please refrain from touching me, at least for several days,” he warned. Why several days? Did this mean her touch would affect him in some way? He could see the expression on her face and wanted desperately not to hear the question. Maybe showing himself had not been the best idea yet he couldn't help it, the need had been strong. “Before you ask why know you are tainted with my scent. This could be... taxing to my youkai nature,” he said in monotone.

She almost jumped out of her skin. She was attractive to him was her first thought and it was a pleasant one. Maybe not for usual reasons but this was flattering enough. He caught on to her thoughts.

“Does this please you?” he asked beginning to feel the old interested amusement. He welcomed the feeling.

“Well uh, I guess it's a bit flattering. Even if it is unconventional, for humans that is,” she said with her face pleasantly flushed. She looked lovely in that shade of red. He turned to look at the sky again. The scent of arousal filled his senses. He quickly turned his attentions back to her. She was staring at the ground and biting her lip to hide an embarrassed smile. She knew he could sense this.

“You are a very strange human Kagome,” he said as he studied her closely. She blushed deeper and squirmed under his calculating gaze.

“I'm sorry I just don't know what the hell has come over me,” she said willing this strange new reaction to go away. She bit into her lip harder and looked at him from the corner of her eye.

Nothing was working. He looked amused but this didn't anger her, it only caused this desire to intensify. At that moment Souta bounded into the yard. Her attention was finally directed to something other than the dull ache.

They were hidden from his view so he continued to kick a soccer ball tossing it up and using his knees to manipulate it. He reminded her so much of Shippo after she had given him a rubber ball as a gift.

Shippo…

“What ever happened to Shippo? He should still be alive right?” she had never given it a thought before now. She had sunk into such a despair after the well sealed she just believed all her friends to be long gone and accepted that idea as bitter truth. He looked happy enough for the change of subject.

“He remained in the Village with Sango and Miroku until their deaths. He developed a wanderlust soon after and if my information is correct I believe he is living in Europe now,” he stated. She couldn't believe it.

“He's alive then?” she screeched happily. The noise hurt his ears.

“I have yet to received any word of his death. There are so few youkai existing in this world today I would hear of any deaths,” he replied. She was so happy she felt like she would burst. What would he look like now? How would he act toward her? Would he still think of her as his surrogate mother? Her heart sank a bit.

“Do you know how to contact him?” she asked hopefully.

“Not unless I were to search for him personally,” he stated coolly hoping this wouldn't upset the suddenly pleasant mood. It didn't though, she expected he wouldn't have an address or phone number.

“I guess he didn't have a family or anything the last you heard right?” she asked again hopefully. He looked at her, she was happy and glowing like a child again.

“Not that I know of,” he replied.

“Well anyway that is wonderful news,” she said looking out into the distance wrapped in her own thoughts. He wanted the mood to never change. He couldn't stand this feeling he had at times around her now. It was like a question he couldn't understand nor answer. He didn't like riddles.

This whole situation was a dark riddle he couldn't shed light on. He preferred not to dwell on it and instead enjoyed the simple beauty of the moment. She was staring at the ground pulling small blades of grass up absentmindedly.

Her attention turned again to him and the tension rose once more. He wanted to command her to be carefree. But he found at an early age such things weren't possible. She wasn't here for his pleasure.

But her company even now with this dark cloud hanging over was still yet enjoyable. He couldn't understand this feeling. How could one be uncomfortable around a person and yet enjoy their company? This was another riddle to chew on. Maybe it was the mingling of blood.

Sharing a blood pact was an ancient ritual and it was also said to create a bond of sorts. He had never joined for life and therefore never experienced it fully. He knew however that his blood would revitalize her even with the small amount he administered. Youkai blood is strong and rich thus his earlier warning.

His thoughts came back to her blood and he found himself wanting to taste it once more. He had always lusted for blood, being in his nature of course but never for any one specific creature. Maybe this was because she still lived.

This thought alarmed him and he turned his mind in another direction; her apparent attraction to him even after he had more or less threatened her life.

Maybe he didn't get the point across. But with the scar he left that should prove his case for him. She was so odd. He had never met a creature, much less a human, that didn't fear him after witnessing a savage act exacted by his own hand. Perplexing and addictive this human was becoming a problem he wanted to solve. But how?

Should he stop sharing her company? Even if this were the case, could he? No there was another answer, somewhere under the surface. Why was any of this occurring at all? She was a simple, clumsy, foolish human girl. Yes she was also a miko but this was only an inherited trait.

He had met her previous incarnation many centuries ago and this `Kikyo' didn't impress him. A regular, if not very powerful, miko. Ah yes, but Kagome was a different being completely. Inquisitive not sullen, not over laden with a power that was more like a curse.

Her power was there nonetheless, it was subtle and intense. Why was he musing over an insignificant human? Loneliness and years of isolation with this weak race had clouded his senses. She was different but only because he took the time to `know' her just as he had with all the children. They were no less important and or significant in his eyes.

They were also not looked upon with the certain respect he had for her. She had been through much that most humans wouldn't survive. He suddenly felt as if he were insulting his brother's memory, obsessing over his intended companion. Intended at one time, but not now. He let his mind rest on that detail as she laid back and stretched before him on the ground.

“Please stop staring at me. I know I'm being rude but staring at me makes me nervous,” she stated not angry but very flushed. She was aroused again and simply by his gaze.

He had never met a female of any kind this overly responsive to him. Many females looked at him lustfully but he only had to look at her casually to spark this intense reaction. The air was getting thick all of a sudden and he shifted to the left moving a couple feet away from her. Were they ever going to move past this baseness? He frowned and looked to sky.

“I have your clothes in my bedroom do you want them back now?” she asked staring into the branches of the god tree. He turned to her almost as if he didn't understand her question.

“No, you may keep them,” the clothing would be laden with her scent. He didn't need any further `distractions' around his home. He stood suddenly.

“I must go.”

She looked at him sadly. She didn't know what to do or say and had made a fool of herself as per usual. “I will visit again,” he said and in flash he was gone. She was left to her confusing thoughts once more.