InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Elsewhere ❯ Chapter Seventeen ( Chapter 17 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha nor do I profit from this.


“The Harvester is near
His blade is on your skin
To plant a new beginning
Well then let the cut begin
Let the cut begin.”

- Sixpence None The Richer, Love

"Oh look you earned your wings
Are you an angel now
Or a vulture
Constantly hovering over
Waiting for the big mistake
Oh my God what have I done
Oh my God what have I done"

- Pedro the Lion, Magazine


Chapter Seventeen

She stood by the phone in a towel with wet hair clinging to her back. She was hesitating. Cursing slightly she picked up the receiver.

At his home he prepared to go retrieve the car. He stood however, in his bedroom looking hard at the large bed. A slight body indenture was in the thick downy mattress. A few dots of dark blood stained the beige sheets. He found himself sinking his face into the pillow inhaling deeply.

Separation was going to be a problem he surmised. He decided he would sleep here for the next few nights. This would take the edge off. Her scent and her blood, that should be enough. He felt a wave of panic and fear. It was Kagome, she was worrying about something. He almost thought that he had tuned her out but this was strong and raw. He looked to the phone just as it rang.

He picked it up at the first ring.

“Yes,” he said. There was silence for a moment.

“Sesshoumaru…” he knew there was something on her mind. Something hard for her to say so he thought back. Thought about everything that had happened or had been said, there were many things that could make her act this way.

“You are worried,” he said seeing if he could coax the problem out of her.

“Yeah, I just talked to my mother,” He thought that perhaps she had forbade her to see him again but there were many ways past that. Something that insignificant wouldn’t bother her this badly. “She said something I didn’t think about, about… yesterday, and what happened,” he could tell she was near tears. What was there to think about?

Human rambling irked him to a painful point at times. He became slightly annoyed. “Please don’t be angry,” she begged as if picking up on his thoughts. He felt his composure melting, hearing her almost begging him. This was beyond bearable. She sighed into the phone. “What if I’m…” she stalled.

It all came to him at that point and he laughed out loud. He could tell she was very confused.

“You have nothing to worry about. I would know something as simple as that,” he said firmly feeling very relieved. He had known that she was receptive to him but not ‘conceptive’ at that time. She breathed a huge sigh. Her fear and doubt left his mind instantly but was soon replaced by longing. He felt it as well and wanted to hang up the phone but found he couldn’t.

“I really… I mean, I wish you were here,” she breathed. He hung his head. This was getting increasingly difficult as the hours passed. He considered retrieving her at that point and bringing her to his house just to have her near yet that wasn’t plausible. He almost understood his father’s predicament feeling that this platonic affection with this bond deepened his thoughts and feelings.

He pushed it out of his mind. This wasn’t sane behavior. He had saved the girl’s life at the risk of his morals and identity. At that moment he wished he would have let her slip away and brought her back with Tenseiga. He wasn’t thinking clearly in the rush of the moment.

Anger gripped him and he almost melted the phone with his poisons. He heard her gasp, she could feel his anger. He cursed himself for falling into these thoughts at her expense then cursed himself for even caring.

“I know girl. In a few days this will pass, you will feel normal,” he said softly. He could hear her small breaths over the phone. Then she said something that froze his mind.

“What if I don’t want to feel normal?”

He growled.

“You do not know what you are saying. Let the days pass, you will become yourself again,” he hissed while fighting the urge to fly to her. He hated telephones, he wanted to see her face and calm her. He hung up abruptly and could feel her sorrow. Rushing out the door he pointed himself in the direction of the sea then took to flight.

She hung up the phone with tears streaming down her face. She felt a hand on her shoulder. It was her mother. She turned and sank into her mother’s embrace. She would tell her everything, let it all out.

After a very emotional story, Kagome sat on the couch next to her mother still in her towel. Her mother’s face was like stone. She was perplexed and very angry, why did the Gods curse her daughter to this life? Now she longed for someone who didn’t, no, who wouldn’t return the precious gift. Her daughter was so pure and free hearted. She could see why she would fall so hard for a… Her thoughts trailed. This was, as Kagome put it, a huge mess.

“Kagome I don’t know what to say. Creatures like him, from what I understand, just wouldn’t do this to any one person. Being Inu he must be loyal, he must feel something deep down for you,” she said trying to comfort her daughter. How she wished this were Inuyasha and not this full Youkai. Looking at her daughter’s back she could see rows of silvery scars and tried hard not to cry. She led her daughter up to her room and put her in bed then looked one last time at her before closing the door.

The drive back was too long. He had spent time in his true form, thrashing and killing, still he couldn’t keep her sorrow from his mind. Then it ceased, she must have fallen asleep. He finally reached his house and walked inside, it was deathly still, as it had always been. He found a note on the table from Aki, asking if he would call her to let her come back and be his little shadow.

He smiled at the note and decided that might take his mind off things. He made the call and she was over in a minute, bubbling and excited, cleaning and straightening, picking new music for the flowers. He smiled at her and went into the garden to find his meditation stone.

Kagome woke startled. It was almost as if she expected him to be beside her. He held her dreams captive, she could almost feel his longing as well. Suddenly she felt very guilty. She had been thinking of herself this whole time without wondering what he is going through. If it were anything like what she felt she knew it must be bad especially being the way he is.

Somehow that comforted her or maybe it was his presence in her mind that did, both minds seemed to relax with her realization. She sat up and stretched. She couldn’t deny the world went on without her. She wouldn’t mope in her bed again like she did when the well sealed. This situation was much different. He was real and alive and she would see him again. She felt very pleasant and peaceful at that thought.

After dressing herself she stood and went to call her friends. What better way to distract her mind? When she entered the kitchen dinner was being prepared. Her mother was surprised to see her out of bed. Kagome grabbed an apple and started to walk to the living room. “Mom, my friends are coming over tonight, is that okay?”

“Sure, I’ll make more food then,” her mother smiled. Kagome seemed to have a stronger spirit, her daughter was meant to do great things after all.

Her friends arrived one by one and giggled all the way up to her room. They were dying to hear the story behind her strange scars and Sesshoumaru’s attentions. They found her writing in a journal at her desk.

“Spill it Kagome.”

“We know what you’ve been up to!”

“Wow! Your scars are gone almost!”

Again she was plagued by their gossipy questions and chatter. She told them she was secretly seeing Sesshoumaru, and not to use his real name anymore. He had changed it to something a little... nicer. They giggled and asked personal questions. She avoided them and it was soon time to eat dinner.

More girly chatter ensued. Souta left the table early and Grandpa mumbled something about how young girls should act. Soon enough they were on their way home. It was night and she was tired yet not sleepy. She trudged back up her stairs.

Her mother said goodnight through the door and finally retired herself. It was getting late and still she lay. She had been writing poetry in her journal. She had entitled it ‘fierce angel’ and smiled at the thought. It was hot tonight so she slipped off her clothes to find something cooler.

She turned the radio on low volume and observed herself in the mirror. Her bruises and scars were mostly gone except one. The bite on her collar bone. She touched it softly, the skin was so sensitive there. She took another look and turned to the side to observe her figure. She had gained some weight it seemed. After slipping on an oversized nightshirt she fell back onto her bed and willed sleep to come.

His house was dark and still. After Aki fell asleep in her own little room Sesshoumaru felt restless again. He started pacing and retired to the large bed. His mind was less troubled now, no sorrow or guilt was coming to him.

He buried his face in the imprint of her body and breathed deeply. This had the opposite affect he intended and he fought with himself to stay here, to not leave the house tonight. He looked at the clock, it was midnight. She had to be asleep. He clenched his teeth and dug his claws into the pillow. He would stay. He would win over this ridiculous stupidity.

How many times had he found pleasure in the torment of others? How many times had his bloodlust stained his claws? He laughed cruelly now. It was this same bloodlust that landed him here, and now he was the creature torn.

Reciprocity is a blunt and bitter tool wielded by cruel Gods. Not vengeful however, they created him the creature he was. In his vast and solitary life he could never remember feeling this completely cowed. Humility was something that brought such a deep and all consuming anger into his mind. He wished he had joined the ancient war. Either to rid the earth of all humans or on the other side to rid the earth of creatures like himself.

He was proud, cruel, indifferent. The epitome of fierce beauty. The true face of power and plight. Why was his mind shaken? All of a sudden this wasn’t a fatal accident. It was a divine surgery, to prod his soul and remove his grace. To take the only things he held to and remove them, like a lung or an eye and leave him lacking. He flew to Aki’s room and opened the door. He would exact his revenge.

He extended his claws and his vision tainted with red. She lay there sleeping peacefully. Unaware of the monster at the door, in his soul. He approached her and froze. Her tiny face, her small beating heart was so loud in his ears. He shook his head to remove the sound. He couldn’t. He almost screamed out in rage and confusion.

What had changed inside? What strange disease had stricken his mind and spirit? He knew then he wasn’t whole. Something had already been eaten away. Before Rin, before Kagome, before all the children and humans of his life. He couldn’t even bring himself to slaughter the filchers and slanderers that crawled willingly over his doorstep to deceive him. He wondered then why he even existed. Why he was forced into this laughable world of death and tenderness, fierceness and beauty.

He fell to the floor. Aki woke startled. Why was her hero sitting in her floor almost whining like a lost puppy? She stood then crouched down to look at his face. He looked so cold and angry. It scared her a little, his breathing was shallow.

“Are you sick Sesshoumaru-sama?”

He looked at her and fierceness left him. She put her small hand on his. He sighed and tilted his head back. Staring as if he could see the sky through the ceiling.

“Yes Aki, I am very ill,” he hissed. She started to cry and crawled into his lap. He sat without moving. Hoping his claws wouldn’t act of their own accord and release her from her life. Why did she not fear him? Why did he care for her life?

“Oh no… please don’t die or leave Sesshoumaru-sama. We all love you and would miss you….” She whimpered. His hands seized her, but gently, and stood to place her back into her bed. She was reaching for him, crying.

“I am not leaving or dying, girl," he said while pausing at the door. "I am just not myself anymore,” She stilled and he left the room closing the door behind him.

He knew the power of humans now. They met evil with tenderness, darkness with a light instilled at birth. He felt old and useless to the world. He had no light or tenderness to offer. Only evil and darkness. He stalked, broken, to his garden.
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A/N: This chapter bled a lot of my own emotions from me. Love to me isn’t something just between two people. It’s a knife and blunt tool at the same time. It pulls your nature out forcefully and makes you face yourself, when in it's true form.