InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Eternity ❯ Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha, or any characters from that show. So sad.

 

 

Over the next few years, Sesshomaru went on many such trips. More often than not, it was only Kagome and Sango who came to visit. They managed to entertain themselves well enough, and sometimes Kagome would bring games from her world for them to play. Each time Sesshomaru returned, he brought a gift for her. Sometimes he would just leave them in her room. The first time he returned, it was late at night. He snuck into her room at night and watched her sleep for a few moments. Of course, Rin was not asleep but she wasn't going to let him know that. He set something on her dresser and then left. When she awoke in the morning she found an expensive, high-quality mirror, the likes of which she had rarely seen.

 

Why would he get me a mirror? She wondered. Then she realized he thought the reason she asked if she was pretty was because she didn't know. She sighed. Oh well, it was very nice.

 

One time, after she had had a particularly bad few nights, he returned with a gift he gave to her personally.

 

“A doll?” Rin asked incredulously. She had never liked dolls, even when she was little. And this doll was… well it was kind of creepy.

 

“It's not for you to play with,” he explained. “You're to put it near your pillow when you sleep. It will steal your nightmares.”

 

And it worked. As long as she kept the doll near her head, she had only pleasant dreams. Which meant, of course, that Sesshomaru never came to rescue her in the middle of the night anymore.

 

And she couldn't even talk to Kagome and Sango about her problems with Sesshomaru. For some reason, it seemed to bother them that she liked him. Then, out of nowhere, Kagome changed.

 

They were playing with little slips of paper with numbers and shapes on them, and Kagome was trying not to win again.

 

“Your turn Rin!” She said happily. Rin stared at her two cards, and then at the piles of them in front of her. She carefully laid down a card, and then sat back.

 

“Ok, Sango,” she said quietly.

 

Kagome sighed deeply. “Rin! You could have moved that whole pile over and then played your last card! You could have won!”

 

Rin sighed. “I'm sorry. I'm not paying attention. I'm just… kind of preoccupied.” She looked out the window.

 

“You're thinking about Sesshomaru aren't you?” Kagome asked quietly.

 

Rin looked back and blushed. “How did you know?”

 

Kagome smiled “I have a little brother about the same age as you. He looks that way when he's thinking about this girl he has a crush on.”

 

“Looks what way?” Rin asked, flustered.

 

Sango laughed. “Pathetic. My brother does the same thing, too. Or did, before he finally asked Akami if he could court her. But he's a little older.”

 

Rin looked between the two. “But… I thought you said I shouldn't…”

 

Kagome smiled at her a little. “Maybe we were wrong. You guys have been through a lot together. I thought it was just a little crush, but if you've held on to it this long, well….” Kagome trailed off. Rin got the impression there was something more Kagome wouldn't say, but didn't ask.

 

Rin sighed, relieved that she could finally talk to them. “I don't know what to do. I feel like he's getting farther and farther away. First I had to have my own room, and now he keeps leaving more often, and I don't know why. He gives me all these wonderful things, but I can't help thinking he's trying to replace himself with them.” Her eyes went wide. “What if… what if he's going to leave forever?”

 

Sango smiled and Kagome patted her hand. “I don't think he'll be doing that,” Kagome reassured her. “Have you tried talking to him about it?”

 

Rin sighed again. “I did, once. He had said that I was his ward, nothing more. That I was too young to be anything else to him.”

 

Kagome frowned. “When did you talk about this?”

 

Rin thought a moment. “About 3 years ago.”

 

Kagome and Sango blinked furiously.

 

“Maybe you should try talking about it again, since it's been so long,” Sango suggested.

 

Rin nodded.

 

***

 

Sesshomaru stared through the night air at the small stone structure. There was nothing here, he knew, but it comforted him. He liked to think that he somehow could reach his father through his grave, try to understand how he had managed. Surely he had worried that Sesshomaru or his mother would have threatened Izayoi's life, even before Sesshomaru proclaimed it. What he dealt with was even harder. He didn't understand why things were this way for him, but he wasn't going to risk it again. Not with her.

 

Sesshomaru tensed, feeling a presence behind him, but the wind told him it was not a threat.

 

“Hey bro. Watchya doing?” InuYasha asked tentatively. There was a day that he wouldn't have dreamed of addressing Sesshomaru as family, much less so casually.

 

“I am praying.” Sesshomaru said curtly.

 

InuYasha sat down next to him, and rested a hand on the grave. “Hey there, old man.” He was quiet for a moment. “He would be glad, to see us like this.”

 

Sesshomaru nodded. “That he would.”

 

They were silent a while longer. At last InuYasha turned to face Sesshomaru. “Y'wanna talk about it?”

 

Sesshomaru sighed. He was not one to talk, but what the hell. InuYasha must be as much like their father as he was, and much more in touch with humans.

 

“You and the priestess…” he started, getting his footing so he didn't feel so vulnerable. “There is… a bond between you, ne?”

 

InuYasha nodded. “We don't talk about it much, but yeah.”

 

“And yet, you are not … bonded.” He suggested.

 

InuYasha smiled. “And how would you know?”

 

Sesshomaru allowed himself a smile, and saw his brother grow uncomfortable. “Besides the fact that she doesn't smell like you that way? I've seen her neck. No scars.”

 

InuYasha's eyes went wide, and he blushed.

 

Sesshomaru looked away to give him some dignity. “You may not have known, but you've thought about it haven't you?”

 

He heard InuYasha nod.

 

“Why are you not bonded?” he asked.

 

InuYasha shrugged. “Kagome will lose a few of her powers. She says she's got a few more things she needs to do, but for now I can wait.”

 

Sesshomaru frowned a little. “How? How can you stand it? The way she smells, all around you?”

 

InuYasha chuckled. “Well, for once I think there's an advantage to being a hanyou. My nose isn't as keen, and my instincts are easy to ignore. But why would you need to? What's stopping you?”

 

Sesshomaru sighed, and ran a hand through his hair—his left hand, which was only half an inch from complete and looked much like a human hand. “Well, for one, I think she's too young.”

 

InuYasha raised his eyebrows. “Rin? I dunno. She's what, 16? I mean I'm not saying you should get too involved, but there's nothing wrong with showing her a little attention. Take it slow.”

 

Sesshomaru leveled his iciest gaze at his half brother.

 

“Ah. Not sure you could?”

 

“I am quite sure that would be the only torture more exquisite than the one I am in now, should I accomplish it.”

 

InuYasha nodded. “So how long are you going to wait? She's human, you know, she won't live forever.”

 

Sesshomaru nodded. “That's the thing, though. I worry that if I…” Sesshomaru looked away, unable to put it into words.

 

“I don't want to hurt her.” He said quietly.

 

InuYasha thought a moment. “Okaa-san didn't—”

 

“That's not what I mean, baka. I … I think I'm cursed.”

 

InuYasha frowned. “How? By who?”

 

Sesshomaru shook his head. “I don't know. It's just, Sara… and then Kagura…” He explained it to InuYasha, who seemed to take it well.

 

“But you don't know that. You did everything you could to save them, right?”

 

“Of course I did!” Sesshomaru raised his voice a little. “But therein lies the problem. Tenseiga couldn't bring them back.” He put a hand to his sword. “And I don't know what the repercussions would be now…”

 

InuYasha frowned. “What do you mean?”

 

Sesshomaru drew the sword in question, moonlight gleaming off the unsharpened surface. “This sword…contains Rin's soul.”

 

InuYasha stared. “How?”

 

Sesshomaru stared at it himself, holding it as if it would break. “When I fought the master of hell and won, I was given her soul. I couldn't put it back in her body, because she couldn't hold it in hell. Nor could I leave hell with the soul in my hands. Tenseiga was all I had that I knew would not perish. That I knew would always be safe.”

 

InuYasha was silent for a moment. “Have you thought maybe… that that is why you…”

 

“The thought has crossed my mind. But no.” He sheathed the sword. “I believe it has more to do with who Rin is than with where her soul lies.”

 

InuYasha nodded. “Yeah… I know exactly what you mean…”

 

Sesshomaru sighed again. “I just couldn't stand losing her again.”

 

They both stared at the grave.

 

***

 

Rin and Kagome greeted a returning Sesshomaru and—surprisingly—InuYasha with as many towels as they could find. It was a torrential downpour outside. Sesshomaru watched amusedly as InuYasha went for the quicker method, shaking himself off. Of course he would eventually do the same thing, but not in front of anybody.

 

“You may stay the night, since there is a storm,” Sesshomaru announced to his guests.

 

“Thank you,” Kagome said, and then dragged InuYasha forcibly from the room, much to his protest.

 

Rin stared at her feet a moment. “How was your trip, Sesshomaru-sama?”

 

“It was… productive.” He stood there a moment, and then, suddenly remembering, fished something out of his sleeve and handed it to her.

 

She opened the slightly dampened box to find a jeweled pin for her hair. It was beautiful, and she fingered it gently. “Thank you. You didn't have to.”

 

Sesshomaru said nothing.

 

Slowly, as if it were someone else doing it, she wrapped her arms around his soaking figure.

 

“Rin, you will ruin your yokata,” Sesshomaru said stiffly.

 

“I don't care. Why do you leave so much? Don't you like my company anymore?” She refused to let go, but it took only the slightest of efforts for him to peel her arms off of him.

 

“My company is, I think, not the best thing for you.” Sesshomaru said kindly.

 

Rin stared at him, horrified. Her hand went to her mouth, and she looked as if she would faint. She shook her head a moment, and then turned and ran, dropping the pin as she went.

 

Sesshomaru cursed quietly, and went to find Kagome, following his nose. InuYasha was with her, so he cleared his throat loudly before entering. They were on other sides of the room, though.

 

“What is it?” Kagome asked, and Sesshomaru wondered what he must look like.

 

“I would appreciate it if you would go talk to Rin,” he addressed Kagome. “I may have said something to upset her.”

 

Kagome thought a moment. “She would do better if you went yourself,” she suggested.

 

“Just go, Kagome.” InuYasha said, a little rough, surprising her.

 

“…right.” Kagome got up and made her way to Rin's room.

 

Sesshomaru nodded to InuYasha in thanks and he nodded back.

 

***

 

Rin held the knife in shaking hands, staring at it. Sesshomaru would probably come and revive her, she knew, but still….

 

…part of her didn't want him to. What would be the point? She took a deep breath, and raised the point to her neck. She closed her eyes, and thought of Sesshomaru, of the way things might have been. And she pushed.

 

After a moment, she opened her eyes. What was going on? Why didn't she hurt? She couldn't breathe quite right, but other than that she felt just fine. A hand traveled from the hilt, to feel the situation out. There was the blade, and there was her skin. Why was there no blood? What the hell???

 

Suddenly a woman screamed. She turned to see that it was Kagome.

 

“What in God's name are you doing, Rin???” She demanded, rushing forward and yanking the knife out of Rin's neck.

 

Rin began breathing again, staring at her hands. Why? Why was she still alive? “What just happened?”

 

“You tried to kill yourself, that's what happened!!!” Kagome yelled.

 

Rin snatched the knife from Kagome's hand, and pushed it to her finger. To her shock, it bled, and it hurt. She dropped the knife, and her finger flew to her mouth.

 

“What the hell is wrong with you?!?!” Kagome demanded again.

 

“But I didn't bleed before!!” She said. “Why? Why can't I die, Kagome?? Why???” She broke out into sobs.

 

Kagome went wide-eyed, and wrapped her arms around Rin instinctively, patting her back. “I don't know sweetie, you just can't. You can survive things that no one, not even a Yokai should be able to.”

 

Rin sniffed.

 

“But why would you want to die?” Kagome asked softly.

 

She began to sob again. “Sesshomaru-sama… doesn't… want… me! He… doesn't … even… want… to … be …around me anymore!!!!”

 

Kagome sighed, and was glad that Rin couldn't see her smile. “Oh, honey, that's not true. I'm sure Sesshomaru doesn't feel that way. I think you're taking it all wrong.”

 

Rin shook her head. “No, he said so himself. He said his company wasn't good for me or something! He just doesn't want to hurt my feelings. He doesn't want me to know that he can't stand me!!!”

 

Kagome pulled Rin away from her so that she could look her in the face.

 

“Listen to me Rin. Without a doubt in my mind, Sesshomaru likes to be around you more than anybody else in the world. I don't know why he is avoiding you so much, but I'm sure that's not the reason. He probably just thinks you're still too young.”

 

Rin sniffed. Kagome looked like she knew what she was talking about. “How do you know, Kagome?”

 

Shit. Kagome scrambled for a reason that wouldn't screw anything up. “The way he looks at you.” She said simply.

 

“But… Sesshomaru doesn't… show that sort of thing,” Rin questioned.

 

Damn. “It's uh… because I'm a Miko. I can just tell that sort of thing.”

 

“Ok.” Rin took it at face value.

 

Kagome convinced Rin to lay down and take a nap, to calm her nerves. She then carefully hid the knife, just so Sesshomaru wouldn't find out. She stared out the window at the pouring rain. When she got back….

 

***

 

Once Kagome got back to Edo, she went straight home. InuYasha was irritated that she wouldn't let him come along, but she explained that she had to do something personal and very girly. He looked suspicious, but resentfully agreed. She hopped into the well, and went into her house. Thankfully everyone was gone. Sota was most likely out playing soccer, and mom would probably be shopping. She affectionately touched the picture of Jii-chan as she passed by his little shrine on the way to the phone and dialed the operater.

 

“Hello? Yes, I'd like to make a collect call to Toyama Prefect. The number is…”

 

***

 

“Yes, I'll take the charges,” Rin said softly. There was a clicking noise. “Kagome?”

 

“Arg! Rin I'm going to strangle you!!!” Kagome said, her voice not too aggravated.

 

Rin laughed. “Oh dear, what have I done now?”

 

“You tried to fricking kill yourself!” she replied.

 

Rin smiled. “Ah, yes. I remember that.” She paused a moment. “Ah, so that's how you knew about Sesshomaru.”

 

Kagome rubbed her temples. “This is getting so confusing.” She laughed a little.

 

“If it means anything to you, you made a huge difference. I was totally lost, and you gave me hope,” Rin offered.

 

Kagome sighed. “It does help.”

 

“Especially those letters.”

 

“What?” Kagome asked.

 

“Whoops, never mind. That was another week or so. You sound like you just came from the scene of the crime,” Rin smoothed it over.

 

Kagome frowned. “No, wait. I think you're supposed to tell me. I have no idea what to do, and that doesn't sound like something I'd do.”

 

Rin sighed. If Kagome was ok with it, so was she. “Well, you wrote two letters; one to me, and one to Sesshomaru-sama. The one you wrote to me said that I should wait a few years before I asked Sesshomaru anything, or tried to catch his attention, or anything like that. You convinced me that that way he would miss it, and eventually react. However, to Sesshomaru you wrote that he should spend more time with me for my happiness' sake, and promised that I would not “bother” him so much. It was quite clever, actually.”

 

“Ah.” Kagome tried very hard not to think about where the idea originated, and chalked it up to the omniscient being her Christian friend went on about. “'k. That makes sense. Oh, and one more question.”

 

“Yes?” Rin smiled.

 

“Why don't you bleed all the time?”

 

Rin sighed. “Well, it gets complicated. You'll find out why eventually, but basically I can't be hurt if it would endanger my life. But little pricks and such, and… other things… which you will also find out about, can draw blood.”

 

Kagome shook her head. This was a bit much. “Ok… well… I guess I'll get to those letters.”

 

“Thanks a bunch, Kagome! Good luck.”

 

“Bye.” Kagome said, and hung up the phone. Now where was that asprin…?

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

AN:

 

*cringes at horrible exposition skills* I always seem to give too much away… *sigh* I also wanted to make the suicide creepier and failed miserably. Tips would be greatly appreciated. Oh, and Kagome calls Rin collect because it's long distance and Sesshomaru is frigging rich and wouldn't blink at a long distance bill. Rin insists on it. Thought I should explain that.

 

Stick around next chapter for some fabulous Lemon-flavored UST!!! And please comment.