InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Expect the Unexpected ❯ Lost Faith ( Chapter 6 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Chevalier Mal Fet 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Drama / Action | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 11.20.2015 | Pages: 4 | Words: 2.7K | Visits: 478 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Drama / Action | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 11.20.2015 | Pages: 4 | Words: 2.7K | Visits: 478 | Status: Work In Progress
Disclaimer: I
don’t own Inuyasha…is this really
necessary?
Chapter Six: Lost Faith It was hard. Very hard. Inuyasha almost turned and ran back to her, but he couldn’t. Instead, he mustered every bit of will that he held within him and ran from the go-shinboku. He simply fled, with no destination in mind, no thought of anything save escaping her. Oh, it was so very tempting to go to her, to take her apology to his heart. It was also tempting to simply throw himself from some high precipice. He had thought about killing himself before, never particularly fervently, but thought of it nonetheless. His life hadn’t been an easy one, with little enough joy in it, but he was not one to give up. He wouldn’t submit so easily. He hadn’t thought hard on suicide, but he could not stop thinking about Kagome. They were practically the same thing. She had killed him more thoroughly than any fall from a precipice. She had shattered his heart, something no one had ever been able to do. It had been cut, bruised before, but never completely broken. Even when he had thought Kikyou had betrayed him, he hadn’t felt anything like this. There was no way that he could ever go back to Kagome. He couldn’t even face her. He would have to, but later, when he was ready. The most painful part of the whole situation was that, while Inuyasha felt utterly betrayed and destroyed by Kagome, he still cared for her somehow. Those feelings that he should not have had were not something that he could deal with so easily as he would have hoped. His heart had been steeled against her when she had come to him, prepared for her piercing words, her scent that was like another arrow through his heart. He had been prepared to show her that he did not care, had never cared for her. But when he had found Kagome, his will seemed to evaporate. When she had begun to apologize, hope rekindled in his heart. But then, she said that she forgave him--forgave him, he who had had his heart cut from his chest by that witch. She was going to forgivehim, was she? No wait, she hadn’t even said that…she had said that she couldforgive him, not that she actually did. The steel that he had hoped for was replaced by ice. His heart actually froze over, and he had been incapable of any feeling, save deep within the ice, where it would never show. Inuyasha had trusted Kagome, trusted her more than he had dared trust anyone since he was a child. The last person he had trusted so utterly had been his mother. It was somewhat humorous, actually. Inuyasha had found trust with Kikyou, but never so much as he had with Kagome, and she had seemed to betray him. Kagome, the one he truly did trust had betrayed him in truth, while Kikyou’s betrayal had only been Naraku’s trick. And the most comical part of all, was that he had nearly forgiven Kagome, a thing he would never have done for Kikyou. Now there would be no forgiveness. It was beyond hope, now that his heart was so wintry. Kagome would never be able to thaw that ice. Nothing would be able to thaw it. Perhaps the precipice didn’t look so bad anymore. *** It was a sedated cabal that set out to look for the jewel shards that day. Kagome had shown up, obviously upset, and Shippou had set about trying to cheer her, mostly by defaming the absent hanyou. This seemed only to make Kagome more despondent, but even Miroku’s attempts at levity had little affect on her. Sango took her for a bath, to cheer her and to try to pry some information from the girl. Inuyasha appeared while the women were gone bathing, and sulked by himself. Or rather, he didn’t sulk. He simply seemed withdrawn, and extremely unwelcoming. Miroku approached him, but one icy glance sent the monk away without a word. Something ominous was afoot. And probably something particularly stupid. It did involve the hanyou, after all. However, Sango returned with Kagome with nothing to report. Kagome was being extremely tight-lipped about the whole thing, but it seemed more aversion to thinking about it than actual taciturnity. Whatever it was, it seemed to have affected both Inuyasha and Kagome deeply, and not in any positive manner. Normally, they would have blamed on an appearance by Kikyou, but that miko hadn’t made any appearances of late. Now they trekked through a wooded glade, in search of the latest rumour of shards. They found it rather sooner than they had anticipated. Kagome had been in such a stupour that she at first did not realize what she was feeling. Then she snapped to attention. A single shard of the jewel was coming, and it was almost upon them. She scarcely had time to call out before it came crashing through the trees before them. *** Inuyasha was closest to the beast and was the first to respond. He leapt, without even getting a clear view through the splintering wood about him. Tetsusaiga slashed out at the beast cutting it in half, and blood sprayed across the hanyou. Inuyasha landed gently, and began shaking the sticky gore from his clothes and wiped Tetsusaiga in the grass. Only now did he even see what it was he had killed. The hanyou’s eyes opened wide in surprise as a clawed hand tore at his chest. He grunted in pain and tore at his attacker with his own claws. It collapsed before him, twitching savagely. The thing before him looked vaguely like a bear, but something was wrong…it was only half of a bear. Inuyasha turned to see the other half charging, surprisingly quickly for a half-bear, at Kagome. Sango launched Hiraikotsu, but it was obvious that it wouldn’t be in time, and Inuyasha was closest to Kagome and the half-bear. Inuyasha hesitated. He really didn’t want to save her. He didn’t want her to be hurt, but he didn’t want to be the one to save her anymore. He wasn’t her hero. He wasn’t anything to her. He stood, rooted to the spot, watching as the mutilated figure raised it’s mighty claws to slash Kagome in half. *** Kagome screamed briefly as she realized that no one was there to help her. She flung herself to the side, just as the claws swung at her. She could feel the air from the swing, but she hardly noticed. Her attention was focused on Inuyasha, who stood watching, with no effort to help her. His expression was not a pleasant one, and Kagome shivered. He was going to let her die. She mattered so little to him, that he would risk losing his ‘jewel detector’ rather than protect her? He must truly despise her. How could she have ever thought that he actually cared for her? It was obvious that he hated her. That hurt terribly, but at the same time, the pain seemed dimmer now. Kagome had somehow withdrawn from her pain. She landed hard on the ground and looked up as she heard a whirring above her, just in time to get splattered in the face by the beast’s thick red blood. She felt like gagging, but there was no way that she was going to show any weakness in front of Inuyasha. The upper torso of the beast fell from where it had been sliced in half, again, by Hiraikotsu. Kagome gave a relieved gasp, before remembering not to show any weakness. She stood quickly and cleaned herself as best she could, but she would need a bath soon. Shippou and Miroku were staring at her in…amazement. Sango deftly grabbed Hiraikotsu from the air as it returned, but then, she too was looking on in with that odd expression. Kagome quickly realized that it wasn’t just her they were staring at, but she and Inuyasha. Oh, that explained it. *** Kagome hurriedly finished cleaning herself and all but ran over to Sango, begging her to help her find another spring to bathe in. Sango slowly agreed and, with one last strange look at the hanyou, followed the impatient girl away. Miroku had yet to cease his stare, however, and received another of those cold looks from the said hanyou. Even Shippou shivered at that look. It was so deliberate, unlike anything they were used to from Inuyasha. Inuyasha turned and disappeared calmly into the trees, in the opposite direction from the girls. Miroku and Shippou exchanged an uneasy glance. What the hell was going on? *** Miroku and Sango had a clandestine meeting that night, though not for the reason Miroku would have preferred. Even he was serious now, and his one attempted grope had only been to lighten their moods. It only half-worked. While his head felt a bit like he was floating, their situation still loomed over them. “Houshi-sama, I am truly worried. Something is terribly wrong between Kagome and Inuyasha. Something horribly wrong. They even forgot about the jewel shard until you reminded them.” “I know, but we don’t know anything about it. We don’t even have a clue as to what caused it…and Inuyasha is acting…different now. There’ll be no getting information from him.” The monk shook his head. Normally, getting information from the hanyou was easy once you got him mad or indignant. Sango frowned in frustration. “I don’t know how to get Kagome to talk, either. It is like she doesn’t want to even be reminded of whatever it is, and she immediately turns the topic. Even when I asked her directly what was wrong, she only ignored me, growing distant and withdrawn.” “That is certainly not a good sign. Kagome should be willing to talk to you. Something must have really hurt her feelings to cause her to withdraw so much. Inuyasha…I could almost say that he is similar, but it is too great a change. He isn’t just withdrawn…It is almost as if he is beyond caring anymore. What could do that to a person…to him?” Inuyasha was supposed to be the strong one. What could hurt him so much that he completely withdrew into himself? “Inuyasha is definitely changed, houshi-sama. He…he would have let that beast kill Kagome earlier. He didn’t even make a move to stop it. Did you see his face? It was so indifferent…He did not care either way. If Kagome had been killed, I think he might have regretted losing his jewel detector, but no more than that. How could that be? He loves Kagome!” Miroku sighed defeatedly. “I don’t know, Sango. I really don’t know. I don’t know what is wrong, and I have no clue how to fix it. We can only hope that it will be resolved soon, for both of their sakes.” The monk hesitated before adding, “Sango…we’ll have to keep extra watch over Kagome, now. If Inuyasha won’t be there to protect her, she’ll need our help more than ever. We can’t let her get hurt.” Sango nodded in agreement. Whatever was going on, it could be very harmful if it were not fixed soon. *** Kagome shifted uncomfortably in her sleeping bag. Sleep was not coming easily this night. Perhaps it was because she no longer felt as if the hanyou that was on guard was actually guarding heranymore. Kagome didn’t know how much she could afford to trust Inuyasha any longer. She didn’ttrust him…not to protect her. It was obvious that he no longer would. She would have to protect herself and hope that he did not come to find her any more inconvenient. Kagome was afraid that if Inuyasha found any other fault in her, then he would not hesitate to kill her, himself. Kagome finally settled into sleep to find her dreams troubled with visions of Inuyasha attacking her, killing her…and most disturbing of all, one dream in which Kagome found herself pinning Inuyasha to a tree, sealing him away for eternity. End of Chapter Six
-Chevalier
Chapter Six: Lost Faith It was hard. Very hard. Inuyasha almost turned and ran back to her, but he couldn’t. Instead, he mustered every bit of will that he held within him and ran from the go-shinboku. He simply fled, with no destination in mind, no thought of anything save escaping her. Oh, it was so very tempting to go to her, to take her apology to his heart. It was also tempting to simply throw himself from some high precipice. He had thought about killing himself before, never particularly fervently, but thought of it nonetheless. His life hadn’t been an easy one, with little enough joy in it, but he was not one to give up. He wouldn’t submit so easily. He hadn’t thought hard on suicide, but he could not stop thinking about Kagome. They were practically the same thing. She had killed him more thoroughly than any fall from a precipice. She had shattered his heart, something no one had ever been able to do. It had been cut, bruised before, but never completely broken. Even when he had thought Kikyou had betrayed him, he hadn’t felt anything like this. There was no way that he could ever go back to Kagome. He couldn’t even face her. He would have to, but later, when he was ready. The most painful part of the whole situation was that, while Inuyasha felt utterly betrayed and destroyed by Kagome, he still cared for her somehow. Those feelings that he should not have had were not something that he could deal with so easily as he would have hoped. His heart had been steeled against her when she had come to him, prepared for her piercing words, her scent that was like another arrow through his heart. He had been prepared to show her that he did not care, had never cared for her. But when he had found Kagome, his will seemed to evaporate. When she had begun to apologize, hope rekindled in his heart. But then, she said that she forgave him--forgave him, he who had had his heart cut from his chest by that witch. She was going to forgivehim, was she? No wait, she hadn’t even said that…she had said that she couldforgive him, not that she actually did. The steel that he had hoped for was replaced by ice. His heart actually froze over, and he had been incapable of any feeling, save deep within the ice, where it would never show. Inuyasha had trusted Kagome, trusted her more than he had dared trust anyone since he was a child. The last person he had trusted so utterly had been his mother. It was somewhat humorous, actually. Inuyasha had found trust with Kikyou, but never so much as he had with Kagome, and she had seemed to betray him. Kagome, the one he truly did trust had betrayed him in truth, while Kikyou’s betrayal had only been Naraku’s trick. And the most comical part of all, was that he had nearly forgiven Kagome, a thing he would never have done for Kikyou. Now there would be no forgiveness. It was beyond hope, now that his heart was so wintry. Kagome would never be able to thaw that ice. Nothing would be able to thaw it. Perhaps the precipice didn’t look so bad anymore. *** It was a sedated cabal that set out to look for the jewel shards that day. Kagome had shown up, obviously upset, and Shippou had set about trying to cheer her, mostly by defaming the absent hanyou. This seemed only to make Kagome more despondent, but even Miroku’s attempts at levity had little affect on her. Sango took her for a bath, to cheer her and to try to pry some information from the girl. Inuyasha appeared while the women were gone bathing, and sulked by himself. Or rather, he didn’t sulk. He simply seemed withdrawn, and extremely unwelcoming. Miroku approached him, but one icy glance sent the monk away without a word. Something ominous was afoot. And probably something particularly stupid. It did involve the hanyou, after all. However, Sango returned with Kagome with nothing to report. Kagome was being extremely tight-lipped about the whole thing, but it seemed more aversion to thinking about it than actual taciturnity. Whatever it was, it seemed to have affected both Inuyasha and Kagome deeply, and not in any positive manner. Normally, they would have blamed on an appearance by Kikyou, but that miko hadn’t made any appearances of late. Now they trekked through a wooded glade, in search of the latest rumour of shards. They found it rather sooner than they had anticipated. Kagome had been in such a stupour that she at first did not realize what she was feeling. Then she snapped to attention. A single shard of the jewel was coming, and it was almost upon them. She scarcely had time to call out before it came crashing through the trees before them. *** Inuyasha was closest to the beast and was the first to respond. He leapt, without even getting a clear view through the splintering wood about him. Tetsusaiga slashed out at the beast cutting it in half, and blood sprayed across the hanyou. Inuyasha landed gently, and began shaking the sticky gore from his clothes and wiped Tetsusaiga in the grass. Only now did he even see what it was he had killed. The hanyou’s eyes opened wide in surprise as a clawed hand tore at his chest. He grunted in pain and tore at his attacker with his own claws. It collapsed before him, twitching savagely. The thing before him looked vaguely like a bear, but something was wrong…it was only half of a bear. Inuyasha turned to see the other half charging, surprisingly quickly for a half-bear, at Kagome. Sango launched Hiraikotsu, but it was obvious that it wouldn’t be in time, and Inuyasha was closest to Kagome and the half-bear. Inuyasha hesitated. He really didn’t want to save her. He didn’t want her to be hurt, but he didn’t want to be the one to save her anymore. He wasn’t her hero. He wasn’t anything to her. He stood, rooted to the spot, watching as the mutilated figure raised it’s mighty claws to slash Kagome in half. *** Kagome screamed briefly as she realized that no one was there to help her. She flung herself to the side, just as the claws swung at her. She could feel the air from the swing, but she hardly noticed. Her attention was focused on Inuyasha, who stood watching, with no effort to help her. His expression was not a pleasant one, and Kagome shivered. He was going to let her die. She mattered so little to him, that he would risk losing his ‘jewel detector’ rather than protect her? He must truly despise her. How could she have ever thought that he actually cared for her? It was obvious that he hated her. That hurt terribly, but at the same time, the pain seemed dimmer now. Kagome had somehow withdrawn from her pain. She landed hard on the ground and looked up as she heard a whirring above her, just in time to get splattered in the face by the beast’s thick red blood. She felt like gagging, but there was no way that she was going to show any weakness in front of Inuyasha. The upper torso of the beast fell from where it had been sliced in half, again, by Hiraikotsu. Kagome gave a relieved gasp, before remembering not to show any weakness. She stood quickly and cleaned herself as best she could, but she would need a bath soon. Shippou and Miroku were staring at her in…amazement. Sango deftly grabbed Hiraikotsu from the air as it returned, but then, she too was looking on in with that odd expression. Kagome quickly realized that it wasn’t just her they were staring at, but she and Inuyasha. Oh, that explained it. *** Kagome hurriedly finished cleaning herself and all but ran over to Sango, begging her to help her find another spring to bathe in. Sango slowly agreed and, with one last strange look at the hanyou, followed the impatient girl away. Miroku had yet to cease his stare, however, and received another of those cold looks from the said hanyou. Even Shippou shivered at that look. It was so deliberate, unlike anything they were used to from Inuyasha. Inuyasha turned and disappeared calmly into the trees, in the opposite direction from the girls. Miroku and Shippou exchanged an uneasy glance. What the hell was going on? *** Miroku and Sango had a clandestine meeting that night, though not for the reason Miroku would have preferred. Even he was serious now, and his one attempted grope had only been to lighten their moods. It only half-worked. While his head felt a bit like he was floating, their situation still loomed over them. “Houshi-sama, I am truly worried. Something is terribly wrong between Kagome and Inuyasha. Something horribly wrong. They even forgot about the jewel shard until you reminded them.” “I know, but we don’t know anything about it. We don’t even have a clue as to what caused it…and Inuyasha is acting…different now. There’ll be no getting information from him.” The monk shook his head. Normally, getting information from the hanyou was easy once you got him mad or indignant. Sango frowned in frustration. “I don’t know how to get Kagome to talk, either. It is like she doesn’t want to even be reminded of whatever it is, and she immediately turns the topic. Even when I asked her directly what was wrong, she only ignored me, growing distant and withdrawn.” “That is certainly not a good sign. Kagome should be willing to talk to you. Something must have really hurt her feelings to cause her to withdraw so much. Inuyasha…I could almost say that he is similar, but it is too great a change. He isn’t just withdrawn…It is almost as if he is beyond caring anymore. What could do that to a person…to him?” Inuyasha was supposed to be the strong one. What could hurt him so much that he completely withdrew into himself? “Inuyasha is definitely changed, houshi-sama. He…he would have let that beast kill Kagome earlier. He didn’t even make a move to stop it. Did you see his face? It was so indifferent…He did not care either way. If Kagome had been killed, I think he might have regretted losing his jewel detector, but no more than that. How could that be? He loves Kagome!” Miroku sighed defeatedly. “I don’t know, Sango. I really don’t know. I don’t know what is wrong, and I have no clue how to fix it. We can only hope that it will be resolved soon, for both of their sakes.” The monk hesitated before adding, “Sango…we’ll have to keep extra watch over Kagome, now. If Inuyasha won’t be there to protect her, she’ll need our help more than ever. We can’t let her get hurt.” Sango nodded in agreement. Whatever was going on, it could be very harmful if it were not fixed soon. *** Kagome shifted uncomfortably in her sleeping bag. Sleep was not coming easily this night. Perhaps it was because she no longer felt as if the hanyou that was on guard was actually guarding heranymore. Kagome didn’t know how much she could afford to trust Inuyasha any longer. She didn’ttrust him…not to protect her. It was obvious that he no longer would. She would have to protect herself and hope that he did not come to find her any more inconvenient. Kagome was afraid that if Inuyasha found any other fault in her, then he would not hesitate to kill her, himself. Kagome finally settled into sleep to find her dreams troubled with visions of Inuyasha attacking her, killing her…and most disturbing of all, one dream in which Kagome found herself pinning Inuyasha to a tree, sealing him away for eternity. End of Chapter Six
-Chevalier