InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Facets of the Living Jewel ❯ Mens agitat molem ( Chapter 29 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or the other characters. Ms. Takahashi does.

 

 

Mens agitat molem

By Licentia poetica

 

“You will have to try again, Kagome, but wait a bit. Take a moment to relax, you're trembling from exertion.”

 

Trembling from frustrated desire and not from the effort required to create a mind meld, Kagome smiled at Midoriko while trying to hide her guilty embarrassment. `I'm such an idiot! I need to focus! I have to think of something besides Inuyasha's kisses!' Shrugging her shoulders and rotating her neck to ease her tight muscles, she focused on her clothing to try and rein in her wandering thoughts. Dressed semi-conservatively in light blue yoga pants and a matching white and blue cap-sleeve T-shirt, she rubbed her slightly sweaty palms on the fabric over her thighs. `I wish I could wear shorts, but I'm already showing too much skin for this era. At least my shoulders are covered, and that means Inuyasha won't be tempted to nibble...aah! There I go again!' She shook her head and then blushed as Midoriko raised an eyebrow in response. `I've got to keep my mind off of him! I'm not learning the skills that Midoriko is trying to teach me…I'm lucky that she's so patient and kind!'

 

She breathed in deeply and forced herself to review the lessons that Midoriko had taught her.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Though she had at first asked to learn what they would be expected to do as the Living Jewel, Midoriko had smiled benignly and said to take things one step at a time. “I will tell you what needs to be done when the time is right. You must learn other skills before you can form the Living Jewel. Let us begin with meditation so that you can learn to control both your houriki and your time powers.”

 

It took several hours because of her constantly fluctuating emotions, but she finally learned to reach the calm inner state that would allow her access to the focus points for control. Then they had moved on to refining her control over her houriki powers. The effort was all mental and Kagome's thoughts kept turning to Inuyasha at the most inopportune moments.

 

While trying to create a barrier, she thought how useful it would be to make sure they could not be interrupted the next time Inuyasha kissed her and lost control of her focus point as she relived the intensity of her arousal when he pinned her to the tree. Her pink barrier fizzled to nothing as Midoriko tested it gently.

 

Midoriko quirked an eyebrow at her and smiled. “You are doing so well, but you must learn to control your thoughts as you use houriki, Kagome. In a battle, the ability to produce a barrier in the midst of the fear and chaos of fighting may mean the difference between life and death, especially for your friends. Try to find your center of balance and call on your powers in spite of any distractions.”

 

Shaking her head to dispel the memories of Inuyasha's hands on her body, Kagome forced herself to focus. 'My friend's lives are at stake. I might finally be able to protect the man I love from harm after all the times he's protected me. I have to master this skill!' She closed her eyes and envisioned a line of protection created by her powers; a safe barrier to prevent anything from harming her loved ones. `Nothing gets through. Not ever!'

 

Midoriko's eyes widened as a blue, coruscating barrier enveloped Kagome and began to expand toward Inuyasha where he was performing his katana katas. `A time barrier! It took me years to master that! Gods, this girl is powerful!' Shocked, she reached out toward her pupil, trying to dispel the shield. “Kagome, stop! Do you know what you are doing? Stop!” Midoriko could not penetrate the energy field to reach her and the barrier moved inexorably outward. With a disruption of time that Midoriko felt in the shards within her chest, Kagome's barrier split and the second part began to move in the direction of the well. `No! If she touches Kensei's power!' Calling on all her reserves of energy, she stood in front of that portion and created a barrier of her own. “STOP, Kagome!”

 

The barriers met. Midoriko staggered, but Kagome's face became strained and droplets of sweat began to drip from her forehead. Her barrier thinned as the split between the two widened. Just before Midoriko's barrier failed the blue energy abruptly vanished.

 

`Thank the gods!' Midoriko sighed in relief and released what was left of her barrier. “Kagome. Do you realize you just combined your houriki and time powers?”

 

Kagome opened her eyes and grinned. “No, I didn't even…whew! That was hard!”

 

Midoriko moved slowly back to her position and sat down heavily, keeping her eyes on Kagome's tired but triumphant face the entire time. “You also managed to split the barrier. I have never seen…it was amazing!” Leaning forward, she placed her hand on Kagome's knee. “However, I had to stop you. You must never use your time powers near the well. It is extremely important! You will set off an interaction between your father's power and your own and the results can be disastrous.”

 

“I already know. I had an experience with that this morning!” Kagome explained the events at the well and how she had managed to get back to the correct time.

 

Midoriko kept her face calm as she listened to the recitation. `Should I tell her what will happen when the Living Jewel…no. Some knowledge is best left hidden.' She eased back into seiza and smiled kindly. “You did well. I will teach you how to anchor yourself so that it won't happen again.” Glancing over to the well, she smiled wryly. “I hope your father came through that without any harm!” At Kagome's worried frown, she reached forward and patted the younger woman on the knee. “Don't worry. The well's powers are still strong, so he must be fine. We will have to contact him to find out for sure, but I must teach you how to do that, too! Now, meditate for a moment and we will try something new.” Midoriko paused, collecting her thoughts as Kagome closed her eyes and began controlled breathing. `I must give her some information. Not all of it, but enough to…perhaps she will succeed where I was unable to.'

 

She touched the younger miko gently on the knee to get her attention, cringing slightly within as Kagome looked at her with absolute trust in her gaze.

 

“Kagome, a moment ago you used both your houriki and time powers to create a barrier that transcended time and then…somehow, and I am not sure how, you split it. Do you know why you were able to power two barriers?”

 

The younger miko shrugged. “I just…I wanted to protect the people I love. That includes everyone in Tokyo, too.” She frowned slightly. “So I guess…I'm not sure…all I wanted to do was to protect them.”

 

`She just wanted to protect her loved ones…and she has no idea how powerful that untainted love makes her.' Midoriko smiled in spite of her awe. “You used your love for your family and friends to create and split the barrier. Try to remember how you did it, because a time barrier is the most powerful defense you have. It prevents harm from attacks, but can also pull you out of the stream of time. The time barrier represents something that is a part of your heritage and a gift that you can pass on to a husband, or in this case, to your friends.”

 

“What do you mean, I can pass it on?”

 

“Have you never noticed that your mother does not seem to age as you get older? It is the gift of the Time Lords. We can be killed, but we do not age as other humans because once we begin to use our powers, a part of us is always in another dimension.”

 

`Ohhh, this is getting weird. As if my whole life wasn't already weird since I got pulled into this era.' Kagome made an irritated face. “Another dimension?”

 

Midoriko held her hands up in a placating gesture. “I don't know all the technical details, ask your father some day, he's studied it. We live most of our lives in four dimensions: the three of the physical world and time. A Time Lord lives part of their life in a fifth dimension, outside of time, and you can use your abilities to move outside of the four dimensions and “see” time. Because of this ability we don't age as other humans do and, if you place a specific mental connection to another human, they won't age either.” She shifted slightly as old, painful memories surfaced. “The mental connection is not something that you should do lightly, nor is it something you should tell…you should not let anyone know about them, even if you feel great lo—” she stopped abruptly. `I must tell her some of the sacrifices required. The burden I bear for Ryuu is my own.' She breathed deeply before going on. “If you were not already in love with Inuyasha, I would counsel you about being very careful about the person you chose as your life partner. Inuyasha, with his youkai blood, is used to the idea of living a long life. But it is another matter with your friends, Miroku and Sango. You see, to make the Living Jewel you will have to ask a great deal of them.”

 

“Why? What will they have to do?”

 

“They must make the decision to…leave the human race. You have no choice, because it is a part of you, but they have the right to decide.” Kagome stared at her, absolutely frozen in shock. `I am right to withhold some things. She is not ready.' Smiling benignly, Midoriko continued, “Your mother made that decision, but she has watched everyone she ever knew as a child age and die. The man you call `grandfather' is actually her younger brother.” Ignoring Kagome's stifled gasp, she added, “For obvious reasons it is difficult to maintain friendships, or have you never noticed that your mother keeps to the shrine?”

 

Kagome realized she was gaping like a fish and closed her mouth abruptly. `I don't know my mother. I thought I knew her, but I didn't understand her at all! And grandfather…he's…my uncle? That's just…creepy. My life is too weird!'

 

Midoriko touched her knee to regain her attention. “You must understand, Kagome, that it is vital that Miroku and Sango join with you, but you cannot force them. The four of you each represent an aspect of the four souls required to balance the jewel. You are love, Inuyasha is courage, Miroku is wisdom, and Sango is family. But your role is the most important right now because it is only through the time powers and love that you can first create the Living Jewel.” She sat seiza again. `And that is all you will get to know for now. I will save the rest for when you can understand the sacrifices required.'

 

Kagome cocked her head to the side and frowned. “I can see how we can represent the aspects, but why are the time powers necessary, and why make a Living Jewel? What is it?”

 

`I will tell her the same things I told Kensei.' Midoriko shifted position, readying herself for a long tale. “The Living Jewel is the only way that I can see to destroy the Shikon no Tama, and it must be destroyed! It's too easy to use it for evil. I created the jewel when I knew I was dying by anchoring myself in a time flux. Then I made a mind meld with the hanyou who was attacking me to pull him in with me and let go of the anchor on my time stream. It trapped us both in the Jewel and I…I could never find my way back.” She stopped for a moment, remembering the long battle of wills and exquisitely conscious of the furious anger and twisted love that Ryuu still broadcast through the mind meld.

 

Kagome paled. “You're asking me to destroy the Shikon no Tama? But your soul is in it! Won't that be the same as killing you?” She shook her head and shrank back from Midoriko. “I can't do that!”

 

`So loving. Perhaps…perhaps she will succeed, but the burden is still mine.' Midoriko patted Kagome on the arm. “Naraku has most of my jewel, now. His evil influence on Ryuu coupled with the fact that Kikyou provided a place for my soul to go is driving me from it.”

 

“Ryuu?” Kagome asked quietly.

 

Midoriko turned away for a moment, taking one deep breath. She turned back and answered calmly, “Ryuu is the hanyou that I trapped within the Shikon no Tama. He was not born a hanyou, but he was…part of him is a man who once professed to love me. He gave his soul to a dragon youkai and other demons when I would not,” she swallowed once, convulsively, “when I put my duty ahead of the love I had for him.” She smiled grimly. “I killed the mate of the dragon youkai he bonded with, and the others had reasons to hate me as well.”

 

Kagome gasped and reached out to Midoriko.

 

The Time Lord held up a hand and Kagome snatched her hand back as a barrier materialized between them. She stared at Midoriko in shock, watching as the older woman took several deep breaths, her impassive face not betraying any emotion.

 

`I will shatter if she touches me now. It is still my burden.' Midoriko smiled faintly and continued to speak as if nothing had happened. “Do not fear. Naraku will not be able to drive me away completely because it is my time force that holds the Shikon no Tama together, but if you destroy the jewel I will be freed from it. Perhaps the rest of my soul will join with this body, but in any case, you must destroy it.”

 

Kagome put her chin on her knees, wrapping her arms around her legs. `I can't…how do I…she's…I can't!'

 

`At least she has not asked how to destroy the jewel. I will keep that information for as long as possible.' Midoriko held up her hand as Kagome opened her mouth to speak. “As for the Living Jewel, you will create an…entity.” She paused, thinking of her ages-old training. `I hope so, in any case. Who knows what will happen with four souls? I have only my own experience to draw from.' She closed her eyes briefly to compose her thoughts. “It is hard to describe what it's like, but you will contact each of the other aspects by using the same mind meld you used with your father. It makes it possible to share your powers, but there are risks. You will have noticed, in the cave where I fought Ryuu, that our bodies are still preserved? Your bodies will also be frozen in our time as you create the jewel, but two things will make your experience different.” She leaned forward, taking Kagome's hand for emphasis. “First of all, do not let go of your anchor in this time. I can't stress how important that is. You won't be able to find your way back into the right time stream and you and the others will…well, you don't want to end up like me and create another jewel.”

 

Kagome paled. `This is terrifying. I have so much responsibility! Why did I have to be the one? Why did the gods choose me for this?'

 

“Second, since you won't be enemies you will be able to balance your jewel and go back to your bodies easily.” `I think.' “Hopefully, you'll balance on the first try, but it depends on how willing each of you is in creating the mind meld. Once you place the mind meld, you'll be able to keep in mental contact with each other, and when you balance you will share each other's strengths. It is similar to what Naraku does with his incarnations, but with a completely opposite intention. You will balance through love and respect, not intimidation and hatred.” Midoriko took Kagome's other hand. “I am the perfect teacher to show you how to create the mind meld because I can't be connected to you. We can't link permanently because I'm already linked to the jewel. You need to keep your mind free for…well, your father could teach you, too, but he's linked to both times right now.” Hoping that Kagome had not noticed her slip, she gripped Kagome's hands tightly for a moment and then released them. “Now, about the anchor: choose something that represents this time for you. It can't be the well, so find something else that's strong and fairly permanent.”

 

`The Goshinboku.' Kagome's thoughts immediately went to the place where she first met Inuyasha. The force of nature that had allowed her to contact him across time, where he had first told her that he needed her, where she had found the arrowhead that had placed him in stasis and used it to reopen the blocked well. `If anything can anchor me and hold us all in this time stream, it has to be that.' She smiled easily at Midoriko. “I've chosen. The Goshinboku.”

 

Midoriko gave her a slow smile, her eyes kind but slightly speculative. “You are amazing, Kagome.” She squeezed her hands, but didn't elaborate on her comment. “Well, if it calls to you, it's right. Now, close your eyes, focus, and wait for me.”

 

“Wait for you?” Kagome looked at her oddly, but Midoriko just smiled, her eyes kind, and nodded her head.

 

“You'll see.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

`All right, enough! I've been at this for over an hour! I will concentrate and I will do this!' Kagome took a deep breath and looked up at Midoriko. “I'm ready. I'm sorry, Sensei, for not succeeding yet.”

 

“Don't try so hard. Clear your mind and be receptive.” Midoriko smiled as Kagome settled into seiza, looking resolute and determined. “Are you ready?”

 

“Yes, Sensei.” Kagome closed her eyes.

 

Midoriko watched her student carefully, raising her eyebrows as the young miko finally began to breathe slowly and deeply. `Finally.' She “reached” for Kagome.

 

Kagome felt a strong presence nudging at her consciousness and concentrated on her breathing and the imagery that Midoriko had used to describe the state she needed to be in to create a mind meld. `I am receptive. I am a field ready for a seed…a lake waiting for a raindrop.' As all other feeling ebbed away, she felt the opening of the mind meld. `Well, after all of that, it is surprisingly easy. I did this before with Papa…and with someone else? I can't remember.'

 

`Kagome! Get your anchor!' Midoriko's stern mental voice abruptly drew her from her musing.

 

Kagome “reached” for the tree and was amazed to feel an immense force: a creative, powerful energy that pulsed in her mind with the colors of gold and silver. `Wow! I can use the Goshinboku for any time.' She felt her powers merge with the surface of the tree and turned her attention outward to the connection with Midoriko.

 

`I'm anchored. Boy, am I anchored! What now?'

 

`Remember to anchor first, then reach for the others. Do you think you've got it?'

 

`It's actually easy!'

 

`Yes, but don't use it lightly. Now, back to your body!'

 

Kagome opened her eyes, smiling as she found herself looking directly into Midoriko's warm gaze.

 

“Well done, Kagome. But remember not to use the mind meld unless you have the permission of the being you're melding with, because it creates a nearly permanent connection that takes a great deal of energy to break. Now, I think we need to go and have a talk with your father!”

 

As they left the village to walk to the well, Kagome felt a pang of separation that was nearly painful as she drew away from Inuyasha. `I wonder if that's the other connection that I remember? Maybe it's just that Mate Call thing. I can't believe him, using it on me like that…but I guess he's right, it's just like my using “sit” on him.' Kagome spent the walk to the well daydreaming about the next time she was alone with Inuyasha, nearly running in to Midoriko as the older woman paused at the well.

 

“Reach out for your father, Kagome. I will call him, too.”

 

Kagome relaxed in to the focus point and “reached”, but there was no answer to her mind call.

 

After a moment, Midoriko frowned and looked down into the well. “Try to go back to your own time. If the well is blocked, he must be resting from the power drain in the morning.”

 

“Isn't there another way? I hate jumping in and landing hard! It hurts!” Kagome pouted, but sighed as Midoriko gave her a look that her mother had used on several memorably uncomfortable occasions.

 

“No, Kagome. You can't use your time power here and there is no other way to find out what we need to know.”

 

Hunching her shoulders in defeat, Kagome climbed over the edge of the well, lowered herself slightly, and let go. No blue coruscations heralded travel back to the shrine and she hit the bottom of the well with a thump. “Ow!” She looked up to see Midoriko peering down into the well. “Umm, how am I going to get out?” The long vines that she had used to climb out her first time through the well had long since broken from repeated use, but she usually had a boost from the time slip that allowed her to reach the upper branches or relied on Inuyasha.

 

Midoriko brought her hands to her mouth and widened her eyes. “Oops!” She gave a self-deprecating laugh. “I'm sorry! I didn't think…just give me a moment.”

 

The Time Lord disappeared from Kagome's view. She waited patiently at the bottom of the well, her mind sifting through the events of the last day. `Inuyasha has changed. Something in him is different…he's more powerful.' She leaned against the rough dirt at the side of the well and crossed her arms, glancing up as a shadow crossed overhead, but Midoriko had not returned. `He loves me. He actually said it, and he's showing it, too. He stood with me against Kikyou, and he…' she blushed as her body reacted to the memory of him pressing against her as he held her up against the Goshinboku, `when he uses that growl I…if only we didn't keep getting interrupted! I'm going to use a barrier next time, I swear!'

 

Her thoughts were interrupted as Midoriko returned to the opening of the well.

 

“Here, grab on to this rope!”

 

Kagome flattened herself against the wall as Midoriko tossed down a length of rope. She looped the end around her hand and used the taught cord to walk up the side of the well, pulling herself out.

 

Midoriko let go of the other end and helped her over the edge, brushing the clinging dirt off of her pupil. “I'm so sorry! I didn't think of what would happen when you didn't have the time energy to get to the top again!”

 

“It's fine! I told you I didn't like to jump in, but I don't think Mama would have let me come back if I'd made it to the other side!” Kagome laughed. She grinned at Midoriko's chastened expression, knowing the older woman had not thought of that possibility as well, and began to coil up the rope. She suddenly felt a strong presence at the edge of her awareness and lifted her head, but it faded almost as soon as she was aware of it. She shook her head. `I wonder what that was? It wasn't a jewel shard…it felt almost like Inuyasha. But that's not possible, is it?' She finished coiling the rope and looped it over her shoulder, but Midoriko sat down, bracing her back against the wood of the well.

 

“Sit, Kagome. Rest a bit. It's going to take a while to adjust to all the changes…I'm sure you must be feeling a bit tired.”

 

Kagome set the rope down and sat next to her Sensei. They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes and Kagome found it difficult to keep her eyes open. She was almost dozing when Midoriko finally stirred.

 

“Well. I think that's enough for one day. You've certainly learned more than I thought you would!” Ignoring Kagome's startled reaction as she jerked herself awake, she added, “You have such control! You can place your feelings aside and find your focus points so quickly.”

 

“My control was…you think I did well?” Kagome blinked and reviewed her unfocused attempts all afternoon. “I thought…I didn't think I was doing very well.”

 

Midoriko smiled as she stood up. “You did well, Kagome. Trust yourself. It takes most people many days to create a barrier using houriki, but you mastered that and more in one afternoon. It is a rare gift to be able to separate your mind from your emotions so easily…why do you think it is so effortless for you?”

 

Suppressing a yawn, Kagome replied, “I think it's because…well, I've had to deal with so many frightening things here.” She looked in the direction of Kaede's hut, adding softly, “And I had to let Inuyasha make his own decisions about…well, about me and…and Kikyou.” Turning back to look up at Midoriko with a pained smile on her face, she continued, “It was hard, but I had to learn to work around my feelings. It's not like I just started practicing, I've done it for three years. I—” she stopped abruptly, feeling a tug on her spirit as a powerful, yearning cry echoed through the afternoon.

 

Leaping to her feet, she ignored Midoriko's startled exclamation and ran toward the sound. “That's Inuyasha! I have to go to him!”

 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Translation:

Mens agitat molem. Latin; The mind moves the matter (Vergil).

Gold and silver: In the chakras, gold represents the active "Yang" principle and the dynamic forces of nature. This chakra promotes greater awareness of God as doer in all things and a sense of the Creator's presence. Silver is the passive, intuitive "Yin" principle in creation and your innermost link with the Creator. It facilitates awareness of your divine purpose and the realization that all things will be achieved according to a spiritual plan.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Reviews:

First of all, thank you again, all readers and especially all R&Rs. This is a new, fun adventure and I'm honing skills. Some of you have mentioned that my story is…sorry for the pun…a hidden jewel. I'm new to these sites, and I don't really know a way to be more obvious or highlight the story…any suggestions? Tell your friends, spread the word in the site forums, or if you wish, drop me a note at licentia-poetica@comcast.net and give me your suggestion. I will appreciate the help!

 

R&R thanks:

 

~*Mystra*~, JediK1, Sesshy81, ShadowObscurity, InuBaby369246, Inaqui, shatter the sky comes quietly, lunerfox, Photographing Poetry, yugiohgirl03, monkeymaxum, InuLuver4Evr, Allegra, luvinInuyashainatlantaATL1, Hanyou16, Niltiak, Inuyasha luver.