InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Fading ❯ Reflection And Realization ( Chapter 7 )

Well, what d'ya all think? Is it good so far? I hope your enjoying it cuz I'm writing this while I'm supposed to be doing homework Ok, so Kagome's disappeared and I bet you're all wondering how the heck this story can even continue without her cuz she was kinda the main focus. Well, believe me it'll work somehow. I hope. Either way, just R&R, ok? ^_^

Chapter Seven: Reflection And Realization

Gone. It was the one word that forced it's way into Inu Yasha's stunned mind. She was gone. But why? he screamed silently. She CAN'T be gone!

Just like you COULDN'T love her? that infuriating little voice asked. Inu Yasha snarled, clawing at his head. Damn voice! Get out of my fucking head! She CAN'T be gone! Damn it all, she CAN'T!

The hanyou's hands fell limply to his sides as he sunk into a crouch, seeming not to notice the crimson stains in his white hair as blood trickled in rivulets from his self-inflicted wounds. He would not cry. He wouldn't! Repeating this phrase in his head, he hugged his knees to his chest, ignoring the pain as his claws dug into the skin on his legs. Hell, he deserved this pain. She was gone.

Despite his mental protests, Inu Yasha didn't try to stop the tears when they came. His body shook with suppressed sobs as the half demon buried his face in his arms. Gone.

"Inu Yasha…" Footsteps reached his ears but he didn't so much as twitch. It was Miroku, he could tell by the scent and the voice. How can he be so fucking ACCEPTING? The hanyou felt like tearing Miroku apart with his bare hands for being so calm.

"Inu Yasha, there is something I have just realized and I thought you would wish to know," Miroku said, crouching down beside Inu Yasha. He almost jumped back when the half demon raised his eyes, so menacing was his glare. The normally golden orbs were flecked with red and so full of primal rage that the monk gulped reflexively. Even though he was friends with the hanyou, he didn't think that that would count for much in the state his companion was in.

Not wanting to be subjected to one of Inu Yasha's emotional tirades, Miroku plunged on. "Obviously you know about Kagome's problem, and how her body was ceasing to exist because of the mistake made in this time." Inu Yasha's chest rumbled with a low growl, his tear-bright eyes like twin suns and twice as hot. The monk quickly continued. "Well, it seems that not only has Kagome herself… well… faded, but also anything that was in contact with her. Her 'backpack', her clothes, and… and what we had collected of the Shikon no Tama." Wincing, Miroku waited for the hanyou's outburst.

Surprisingly, Inu Yasha's eyes went flat. Turning his head away he said, "Oh. I thought you had something important to say. Like that you'd found a way to bring Kagome back."

Aware that his jaw was hanging open, Miroku closed his mouth. "You… you're not angry?"

"Angry?" Inu Yasha repeated in a calm voice that sent shivers up the monk's spine. "Oh, no. I'm not angry. How can a dead man be angry?"

"Dead?" What is he talking about? Miroku wondered. Has Kagome's disappearance unhinged him?

"There is nothing else for me to live for now," Inu Yasha replied dully. "My soul died with Kagome." He didn't even blush at this open admission of his feelings. What did it matter, now that the one person who deserved to know how he felt was gone?

Miroku nodded understandingly. Softly, he said, "I had suspected for quite a while. Of course, getting you to admit it would have been impossible before." His face tightened in pain and sympathy. Not knowing what else to say, the monk placed a hand on Inu Yasha's shoulder, blinking away his own tears. "We must leave here. Kagome would not have wanted us to stop our quest simply because she is gone." His mouth quirked at the corners. "I can almost hear the shouts of 'Sit, boy!' as you two fight over that, too."

Inu Yasha felt his eyes tear up again as memories surfaced and then disappeared in his mind. Disappeared… Just like Kagome… He reached a hand up to his rosary beads, running a clawed finger along their smooth surface. A flash of silver at the corner of his eye caused him to whip his head around, releasing the beads. Wooden panelling and a patterned vase were the only things he found himself looking at. That, and Riyo's fully-demon body.

The beautiful woman was hunched in on herself, almost like Inu Yasha, her body shaking in spasms as she tried to hold down her demon blood. Short curving horns, their pearlescent exterior spiraled, jutted out through her long black hair which had fallen out of its bun during the transformation. Her eyes, when she raised her gaze to meet his, were completely green, emerald flames visibly leaping and dancing in her irises. Sharp white fangs showed as she panted for air, and her skin had taken on a glittering cast, like that of scales. A long, green-and-silver-scaled tail thrashed on the floor behind her, bone ridges and tip splintering the heavy wooden boards like matchsticks.

Inu Yasha nodded fractionally to her, showing her that he understood. Even now, he was having difficulty suppressing his own demon side as it howled for release. If he let it take him over, Kagome's life would be avenged in oceans of innocent blood. Gone. There's nothing I can do now, she's gone.

Sango sat on the far side of the table, staring at the spot where Kagome had been sitting with tears in her eyes. Shippou was cradled in her arms comfortingly, his face buried in her clothes. She could feel the material becoming damp as the kitsune cried. Poor kid, the exterminator thought, That's the second mother he's lost… Kagome… She closed her eyes as memories of her slaughtered village and family rose in her mind. Now Kagome had passed away too, if not in the same way. She wouldn't have wanted me to cry, Sango told herself. She would've wanted me to be strong - for Shippou and the rest of our group. Maybe for Inu Yasha most of all.

She glanced over at the hanyou, noting his feral eyes and wild expression. Her gaze slid over to the monk crouched beside him, and she thought she understood how Inu Yasha would be feeling. If Miroku suddenly disappeared… That perverted monk, she thought irritably. He's done something to my mind. I can't even mourn for Kagome without thoughts of him getting in the way!

Shippou cried quietly into Sango's clothes. Why was Kagome gone? He had already lost his real mother, and now the bright, cheerful girl from the future had disappeared as well. Already the small kit had seen more death in his life than many demons twice his age. He accepted it as a fact of life, something that you couldn't change. But Kagome's death affected him much more than any other except, perhaps, his parents'.

Crystalline tears fell to the ground silently as that same word, that horribly final word, resounded in everyone's mind. Gone.

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(A/N: *tear* So sad! I just couldn't resist though ^_~ I thought about ending the chapter here, but decided against it, so keep on reading!)

 Kagome opened her eyes slowly, allowing the pupils to adjust to the light before letting her eyelids become more than slits. Even when she had her eyes completely open, her vision seemed clouded, foggy. Strange… She shook her head, trying to clear her sight. Nothing happened.

What's going on? Kagome thought. All I remember is Riyo telling us that she's not able to help, and then I saw her body start to change. But after that… nothing. It was then that she realized that she was lying on the floor. Sitting up, Kagome looked around. She was still in Riyo's house, thankfully. And there was Riyo and Miroku and Sango holding Shippou and… Inu Yasha. Is he CRYING?

Kagome stood up shakily, feeling oddly weightless and empty. It's probably a side effect of this whole fading thing… She looked down at herself and almost fell over again from shock. Her body was solid! She wasn't fading anymore!

"Inu Yasha! Miroku, Sango! Shippou! Hey you guys, I'm better! The mistake's been fixed! I…" Her voice trailed off as she realized that no one was listening to her. "Hey! Didn't you hear me? I'm not fading anymore!" They continued to ignore her.

"This isn't funny you guys," Kagome said, fear making her voice curt. This was all beginning to be terrifyingly familiar. She scrubbed anxiously at her eyes with the heels of her palms, but her vision stayed blurred, the figures of her friends not quite clear.

Kagome watched as Inu Yasha reached one hand up to finger his prayer bead necklace and, growing impatient, she waved an arm at him. Finally! Kagome thought as the hanyou glanced sharply up at her. For some reason, his body was suddenly clear to her vision. Then his hand released the necklace and curled reflexively into a fist, as if he were startled. His gaze traveled right over her before focusing on Riyo, his image becoming smudged once again.

That baka! Kagome thought, her face betraying more fear than anger. He's pretending he can't see me! Oh Kami, please let him be pretending! But no one turned to look at her. Even when she walked right up to Riyo, the closest person to her, and placed a hand on her shoulder. Her hand simply slid through the woman's foggy shoulder.

Okay, Kagome, breathe. You're in the same position you were in when you went through the well back to your own time. No one can see you or hear you. She glanced at Inu Yasha and her lips twisted wryly. Or smell you. Something's happened so that you don't exist in either time now. Yeah, nothing to panic about.

Out of nervous habit, Kagome reached up to grab the half-completed Shikon jewel hanging around her neck. The comforting rush of warm energy sent tingles up her arm, relaxing the taut muscles and soothing her panicky mind. At least, until another disturbing thought hit her. Wait, if I've totally disappeared from both times, and the shikon shards are with me… Oh crap!

Kagome took the table in one huge leap, staggering slightly as she adjusted to being so weightless. Landing near Inu Yasha, she pulled the shard necklace off and tried to toss it to him. The chain seemed to stick to her hand, dangling as far as the metal links would reach but always remaining in contact no matter what she did.

Great, so now both me AND the jewel are useless! Kagome thought, full of helpless anger. Why did Riyo have to be so stubborn? If she had just agreed to help, then I wouldn't be in this situation! But the raven-haired girl's anger was futile, and she knew it. Laying the blame on others was as foreign to Kagome as malice or spite, and her anger at Riyo soon faded. I can't blame her, really. I mean, she's only thinking of Taro - she doesn't want him to have to live the kind of life she does. She's trying to protect him by shutting him out.

This thought made Kagome, being the sucker for selfless-ness that she is, get all misty-eyed thinking about it. A hanyou, despised and rejected by humans and demons alike, shutting out even the one she loves because she doesn't want him to be hurt. Maybe even because SHE doesn't want to be hurt. Kagome sighed, sound which quickly turned to a gasp as realization came crashing in on her. Wait a minute… Hanyou… The one he loves… Shutting out everyone… Doesn't want to be hurt… Oh my God! Inu Yasha! 

Suddenly, every conversation between her and the half demon gained new meaning, every look acquired new significance, every accidental touch held a promise and a heartbreak. Kagome felt her breathing quicken as she looked at the blurred figure of the hanyou. How had she not noticed before the way his muscled chest filled out his fire rat clothing or the way his white hair streamed down his back like a foamy river? And what about the way his golden eyes took on warmth as they looked at her and only her? Sure, she had known from the first minute she saw him that he was handsome - you'd have to be blind not to notice. But she had never really seen him in quite this light before. And now she would never get to tell him what she was feeling.

"It's not fair!" Kagome found herself shouting, kicking the wooden table in her anger only to have her foot slide right through and deposit her on her behind. Growling in a passable Inu Yasha imitation, the teenager hauled herself up again, her face drawn into a scowl. Light laughter from behind caused her to whirl around. Kagome's mouth fell open in shock as a figure detached itself from the shadows in the corner of the room.

"That was quite the snarl, girl," the person said, stepping into the light. Fully visible and not at all blurry, he looked like an older version of Shippou. Auburn hair fell just below his shoulders and green eyes flashed in a ruggedly handsome face as the stranger showed his fangs in a grin. He was tall and dressed in furs, with the pointed ears and white-tipped fox tail that marked him as a kitsune.

"I… Who are you?" Kagome asked. "And how come you can see me?"

The kitsune's grin widened. "I can see you because we both happen to be in the same condition. Dead, as it were."

"D-dead?" Kagome stammered. Well of course you're dead, she told herself. You're body doesn't exist anymore, remember?

"Yes, dead. Spirits, in fact. You must be Kagome."

"How did you know my name?"

"Shippou's told me a lot about you, Kagome. I'd like to thank you for everything you've done for my son."

"Your son?"

"Why, yes. I thought you knew. You see… I'm Shippou's father."

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Yay! Another chapter done! And I've got lots more ideas for this story *laughs evilly* Well, I hope you're enjoying it so far. If you would, do you think you could refer this story to a friend? I'd really appreciate it if more ppl would review, cuz I'm not sure what ppl think of this fic. Even if you've got suggestions/criticism, pleaz tell me what I could do to make my writing better ^_^ By the way, sorry for any spelling mistakes in this chappy - my spell check isn't working -_-x Until next time, R&R!

~SilverMyste~