InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Fading ❯ Waking From The Nightmare ( Chapter 14 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Hello anyone who's reading this. Ugh, MediaMiner has been posting my work in giant blocks of text that would be a pain in the ass to read so I've had to revise this a million times to try to get it to work -_-x Anyway, I know you must be wondering what's happening to Kagome in her own little nightmare so I'll just say “Enjoy chappy fourteen!” and let you get on with it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, etc., etc. *sighs*
Chapter Fourteen: Waking From The Nightmare
This is what I was meant for. This is who I really am! The words echoed in the stifling darkness as Kagome looked at Inu Yasha in shock. She couldn't move, couldn't even scream when he launched himself towards her, teeth bared in a bestial snarl. She wanted to blame her immobility on the twisted reality that now held her captive, but deep down she knew she was frozen by the feeling of betrayal and hurt that cut her deeper than the inu youkai's claws ever could.
Is this how Inu Yasha has felt ever since Kikyo pinned him to the Goshinboku? Kagome wondered, struck by sudden understanding of the hanyou's torment.
She was jolted out of her thoughts by a fully-demon Inu Yasha smashing into her, knocking her onto her back. Searing pain shot through her right shoulder as his claws dug deep into the muscle there, making her arm go limp. Kagome couldn't stop the gasp that escaped her lips, the startled noise still sounding like a death rattle to her ears. Clamping her mouth shut, she tried to shove Inu Yasha off of her, but he wasn't to be deterred so easily. He sat up on her stomach, effectively stopping her from escaping and also out of range of her wild, frantic kicks. Gripping her left arm as she tried to punch him with it, Inu Yasha leaned down, bringing his lips to Kagome's ear.
“I killed them all, you know,” he whispered, his hot breath fanning her face as his fangs scraped the rim of her ear. “The monk, the exterminator, her pet cat…” Here he paused, watching in amusement as Kagome tried to swing her other arm at him. The movement was feeble, hampered by her ruined shoulder, and Inu Yasha could see how much pain she was in by the tightened skin around her eyes and mouth. “I killed the fox child, too,” he continued maliciously, grinning. “Poor little kit - even before death he told me he wouldn't let me hurt his precious Kagome.”
You bastard! Kagome longed to yell, but she knew it was useless - her words would simply fade into a hiss like a dying man's last breath. Her eyes were bright with tears of rage, and two spots of colour were high on her cheeks as she glared at her captor, trying to somehow communicate her thoughts to him. You filthy, lying bastard!
Inu Yasha's pointed ears twitched in an almost comic imitation of their previous dog-like form, as if he had heard her. Without changing his expression, he plunged his claws into her left shoulder, rendering both her arms completely useless. Kagome's body spasmed in pain, blood flowing freely from the gaping wounds and staining her shirt crimson.
Leaning back so the girl could see him clearly, the inu youkai raised his blood-stained hand to his mouth. He kept his gaze locked with Kagome's as he slowly, deliberately ran his tongue over each claw, lapping up the dark liquid.
Letting his fangs show in the cocky grin that Kagome knew so well, Inu Yasha whispered, “You taste sweet.”
The raven-haired girl struggled weakly again, but without the use of her arms she couldn't do much more than flail her legs in vain. She felt so helpless, so degraded. The words of her friends and family in this black void had slowly exposed all of her darkest hopes and fears, making Kagome feel like she didn't belong to herself anymore. And now Inu Yasha, the one person who she'd thought would never change, had done just that.
She wanted to believe that this wasn't real, that it was all just a nightmare created by the fate-sealer, and the logical part of her did believe that. But the other half of her, the emotional, open Kagome that her companions knew and loved, refused to be convinced. How could she pretend that the demon whose eyes were locked with hers wasn't really there, when her own life had become so intricately twined with his ever since she'd met him? It would be like trying to tell herself that she had never really existed, that she wasn't really here tasting the bitter combination of betrayal and defeat.
Inu Yasha could do this, Kagome thought. He's capable of killing us all and breaking Tetsusaiga. He's wanted to become a full demon for over fifty years, and demons hate humans. It's happened before when his demon blood takes control of his mind and body - he becomes unpredictable, unmanageable. He barely recognizes his friends and companions. Maybe becoming a full demon has made him forget about all of us… Maybe this isn't a nightmare at all, but actually happening…
Kagome closed her eyes, feeling the tears come. Her mind felt like it was covered in a thick fog and she was finding it harder to look at things logically. What good was logic when your heart felt like it was being ripped in two?
Inu Yasha had stopped licking his claws by now and was frowning, trying to figure out why his prey had gone so still. Her eyes were closed and the muscles that had been taut with pain had relaxed, as if she couldn't feel the deep wounds in her shoulders anymore. “Oi, wench,” he said roughly. “Don't faint on me now - I like my women lively.”
When she didn't respond, Inu Yasha grabbed a chunk of Kagome's dark hair, wrenching her head up painfully. “And you'll look at me when I'm talking to you, bitch.”
Tears ran unchecked down the girl's cheeks.
The mind behind the dog demon's red eyes secretly rejoiced. Its prey was frightened and starting to despair - both were emotions that would make her more susceptible to its tricks. Delving deeper into its chosen victim's memory, the fate-sealer snatched any information that could be used against her.
“You know what?” Inu Yasha asked abruptly. The change in his voice drew Kagome's attention away from her thoughts. It had become bitter and accusatory, with an undertone of poorly-concealed sadness. “Before you left me, I… I was beginning to…” He hesitated, as if unsure of how to proceed.
Kagome flinched involuntarily, not sure what to expect anymore. Inu Yasha - vision, nightmare, reality; whatever he was - had attacked her both mentally and physically from almost every angle imaginable already. She was left clinging to broken dreams and tainted memories that no longer served to give her strength. Her only relief was that he hadn't touched that one cherished hope she kept hidden from everyone but herself. Maybe he won't say anything about it, she thought dully. How would he know, anyway? It's not like I've ever told him how I feel… I've never told him-
“I love you,” Inu Yasha spat out, interrupting her thoughts as he shifted his gaze so that he wouldn't have to look at her. “Or I used to.”
No, Kagome thought numbly. No, this is all wrong. How had he known that this was what she'd been secretly hoping to hear him say for so long? And how had he managed to turn such a pure, sacred wish into words that tore through her with the accuracy of darting knives?
This is all wrong… He wasn't supposed to admit to loving her with that angry, hurt look on his face - he was supposed to gaze at her shyly and use the clumsy voice that he always used when he tried to talk about his feelings. He was supposed to blush and look away until she happily told him that she felt the same way. And maybe - just maybe - he would then kiss her like he had in her imagination.
But now his tone had been filled with nothing but bitterness and betrayal, as if she had done something horrible to him. She had the feeling that any kiss from this demon would be mocking and filled with venom, more painful even than his barbed words.
The rip in Kagome's heart became a hole as big as a fist - an inu youkai-sized fist. Her secret little fantasy shattered into a thousand pieces as Inu Yasha looked back at her with his crimson, glowing eyes and contemptuous sneer.
“I realize now that I was stupid to even consider loving a human,” he hissed. “It was probably just a feeling left over from my own human half. But now that I'm a full-blooded youkai, those feelings are gone. Demons feel no love, they can only feel lust - and you've lost any and all appeal to me. Even Kikyo looks good when compared to you.”
Kagome felt her eyesight begin to dim, but whether it was tears again or simply endless, peaceful darkness coming to collect her she wasn't sure. Please, just let me go, she begged silently. I don't want to listen anymore. Let the darkness take me, please…
A sound like scissors on thread echoed silently in her head. You cannot escape destiny, a voice told her, neither male nor female and with all the emotion of a frozen tundra. It was not mocking or triumphant, as Kagome might have expected - it was simply stating a fact in the cool, indifferent tones that no living creature could quite manage. You cannot escape-
“Kagome…” It was a faint whisper at first, so faint that Kagome was sure she had imagined it, but it served to rouse her slightly from the torpor she had sunk into. Inu Yasha was still staring at her with that piercing gaze, eagerly waiting for her to give up completely, but he gave no indication that he'd heard the voice. The girl frowned - if he hadn't said something, then who had?
“Kagome…” There it was again, not spoken aloud but echoing in her mind as the other voice had. Kagome pushed all pain and thought out of her mind as she closed her eyes, trying to concentrate. She was certain that she knew this voice. It was cold, expressionless, and female, but beyond that Kagome could tell nothing.
In sudden inspiration, she reached deeper into her senses, finding that well of miko power hidden inside herself. Maybe if she used that power then… There!
Kagome's eyes flew open. She could detect an aura hovering somewhere outside the black void. It wasn't the strong, violent aura of a demon or the weaker aura of a human. It was steady and filled with power, just like her own… A miko? the girl wondered in shock. But who…?
She had no time to finish that thought as the darkness surrounding her suddenly exploded with light.
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“This is getting ridiculous!” Inu Yasha growled, ignoring the way the rain pouring from the dark, clouded sky plastered his hair down into his eyes. “I can clearly sense some kind of creature nearby, but it hasn't shown itself in over an hour!”
Miroku - trying to keep his scrolls and spells from getting wet by making a sort of tent out of his robes over them - just gave the hanyou a blank look. “That's probably because it doesn't need to show itself, Inu Yasha. It can simply let us freeze to death in this storm without even lifting a finger. Although I do agree that there is definitely some kind of strange presence around here,” he added hastily, seeing his companion's volatile temper rise. “It's not exactly evil, nor is it good, but it's very powerful.”
Lightning flashed overhead, followed by the low rumble of thunder.
Shippou huddled in Sango's arms. His hatred of storms ran much deeper than simply fear. The tiny kitsune had learned to associate storms with death ever since he'd come home that day and found his parents' bodies being carried off by the Thunder Brothers. He could still vividly picture the blackened stumps of trees destroyed by lightning and the charred outlines on the burnt grass where his parents had last stood. And now, the day after Kagome had disappeared, one of the longest storms he'd ever seen had blown in on the unnaturally cold wind. Yes, the kitsune thought, storms were always a bad omen.
Kirara suddenly mewed from her hiding place under Sango's propped-up boomerang. Her two tails were bristling and her eyes were narrowed as she gazed intently at something in the distance.
Inu Yasha followed the cat demon's stare and felt his heart skip a beat painfully. “Ka- Kagome?”
At the mention of the dark-haired girl's name, Miroku, Sango, and Shippou immediately swivelled their heads to look at the approaching figure.
For a minute they were all sure it was Kagome. This woman's hair was the same raven black and her shape matched the cheerful girl's almost exactly. But she was wearing clothes from this era instead of some strange outfit from the future, and her stride had none of the spring that Kagome's did.
Another flash of lightning lit the countryside.
“That's not Kagome,” Shippou said loudly, at the same time Inu Yasha cried, “Kikyo!”
The woman didn't acknowledge either of these statements, although she was close enough to have heard both. She didn't even glance at the companions as she sped past them, black hair fanning out behind her despite the rain pouring down. In fact, the rain didn't seem to touch her at all.
“Kikyo, wait!” Inu Yasha called, stumbling after her on the rain-slick grass. “What are you doing here?”
Kikyo paused, slowing to a walk as she surveyed her surroundings. Even though she had stopped running, Inu Yasha could tell that her attention was not on him, but on something in the landscape around them. Just what was so interesting about this particular patch of grass, anyway?
“Kikyo?” the hanyou asked hesitantly as he drew level with her. “Why are you here?”
The miko still didn't look at him, continuing to run her empty brown eyes around the area. “It does not concern you, Inu Yasha.”
Inu Yasha bristled slightly at this - he had always hated it when people brushed him off, whether they did it because he was a half-breed or not. “It concerns me if it's anywhere near me,” he snapped. “Since you always seem to turn up when trouble's coming, I want to know what you're doing here.” His angry gaze faltered, however, when Kikyo finally turned to face him.
“My presence in this area has nothing to do with you or your little ragtag group, so don't flatter yourself,” she said, her voice never losing it's detached tone as her eyes moved from his face back to the landscape. “You would not understand why I am here even if I explained it to you.”
“Try me,” Inu Yasha challenged, following her gaze as he tried to figure out what she was searching for. Ah well, it's not like this is new behaviour from her, he thought irritably. She was always a big fan of the whole “mysterious miko” routine. However, it was not her refusal to explain things that his thoughts were really on. Instead, he was puzzled by his own reaction to her presence.
There was none of the usual pangs of regret or longing that usually accompanied the dead miko's visits - in fact, he felt nothing towards her except for a sense of duty. He had sworn to avenge Kikyo's death, after all. But where were the bitter emotions of stale love and old guilt that usually plagued his heart and his mind? Have I… moved on? he wondered suddenly.
“Stand back, Inu Yasha.” Kikyo's command came out of nowhere, startling the hanyou with its passion. What's she about to do?
“But Kikyo-”
“I said stand back.”
Now that was unusual - the miko's voice had actually taken on a tinge of emotion, something that had rarely happened even during her living years. She sounded… poised. Like a diver teetering on the edge of a drop that could very well be beyond her skill.
Reluctantly, Inu Yasha retreated a safe distance away, unsettled by the look on Kikyo's face. Her eyes had been almost glowing with determination and finality, as if her whole life she had worked towards this day. What in Kami's name is she going to do?
Kikyo closed her eyes. “So we meet again,” she whispered, seemingly to the air. And then it began.
It was a scene of both stunning beauty and terrifying power. The dead miko stood alone on the flat plain of grass, a slender figure silhouetted against the slate-coloured sky. She bowed her head, hands curling into fists as she summoned all the power she possessed. The air seemed to bend and bulge around her as the miko concentrated. Kikyo's black hair twisted about her face like a dark nimbus, caught in the currents of magic that swirled around her. She needed more power… just a little more power…
Suddenly, the bubble of air and magic around her broke in a massive wave of energy that rippled out across the landscape, shimmering like crystal and as it flattened all the grass for as far as the eye could see. Kikyo's body had started to glow with the pure, colourless light that was the mark of all mikos. Gently, as if cradled by a pair of invisible hands, she was lifted into the air, surrounded by the blinding light of her power. Her body was only visible as a black outline within the cocoon of brilliant energy, but her head appeared to be thrown back and her arms spread, dark hair billowing about her body.
A second, massive wave of power rolled from her glowing form. The full force of spiritual energy in the air was incredible - all noise was silenced, even the thunder, and it was becoming difficult to breathe through the colossal pressure in the atmosphere. Any natural light was crushed by the dazzling aura that pulsated around Kikyo, making the darkness at the outer limits of her power even more pronounced.
Just as the suffocating energy grew to unbearable levels, some huge, unseen barrier shifted and split with a sound like an avalanche.
It was quite possibly the strangest thing Inu Yasha had ever witnessed. Still shaken from the tidal wave of power and feeling light-headed from lack of air, the hanyou thought for a moment that he was hallucinating. Surely it was impossible for there to suddenly be two worlds in his vision! Inu Yasha shook his head sharply and looked again. Dammit - still there.
It was sort of like viewing one transparent landscape through another. He could still clearly see Kikyo and her nimbus of light, as well as the stormy sky and the flattened grass, but he could also see an overlapping landscape that had a pearly, ghost-like look to it. The grass wasn't flattened in this one and there were a few silvery figures moving in the distance, but that wasn't what really caught Inu Yasha's attention. No, it was the towering, mist-and-shadow-cloaked shape of the fate-sealer that did that.
What the hell is that thing? Inu Yasha thought, stunned. And what's that it's holding? String?
Kikyo suddenly straightened inside the beam of glowing energy, shifting the hanyou's attention back to her. Although he couldn't see her face, he could tell that she had expected this to happen. With deliberate, graceful movements the miko drew her arm back and then thrust it forward, palm open. It looked like she was throwing something at the fate-sealer, but what shot out of her palm was a crackling ball of pure energy.
The glowing sphere cut smoothly and silently through the air towards the fate-sealer, who was as still and cold as a marble statue. It didn't even twitch when the ball of magic connected with its side and burst, scattering tendrils of mist and light.
How can it have withstood that attack? the hanyou wondered, still trying to absorb everything that had happened so far. That was enough to have at least injured even the strongest demon, if not kill it… He paused, struck by a sudden thought. If Kikyo's purifying powers didn't affect it, then it isn't a creature of evil. What was it the houshi said? “It's not exactly evil, nor is it good, but it's very powerful.” But what is it, then?
Meanwhile, Kikyo was considering what to do now that her attack had failed. I can sense another miko nearby, she realized suddenly. That aura… it belongs to my reincarnation. But what…? Her eyes narrowed slightly, focusing on a point a few feet in front of the fate-sealer. Of course. That girl is the perfect victim for fate. She drew her arm back again, smiling slightly. It is not your time to leave this world, Kagome. You now hold my soul, and I do not wish to be cheated by destiny again. Consider this a favour for looking after Inu Yasha for me. Shimmering sparks of energy began to gather in the palm of her hand.
“Brace yourself, Kagome,” Kikyo whispered, her voice sounding almost mischievous, if that was possible.
She released the ball of magic, watching in calm triumph as it tore Kagome's dark prison to shreds.
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Blinding, colourless light assaulted Kagome's senses as the black void shattered around her. Her body was forcefully lifted off of the ground by the sheer power of the magic, and Inu Yasha, who's red eyes had widened in shock, gave a sharp yell before disintegrating just like the darkness.
“Inu Yasha!” Kagome shouted, panicking. Whether or not that was the real Inu Yasha, whether or not he had just wounded her body and her mind, it still made her stomach turn over with horror at seeing him seemingly die right in front of her. “Inu Yasha!”
The glowing energy around her suddenly flickered and died. Kagome, still suspended in the air for a split second, only had time to mutter a vague, “Oh shit…” before crashing to the ground.
As soon as her body connected with the grass, Kagome could tell that she was back in the spirit realm. The scenery around her grew blurry and the pain in her shoulders vanished. She hadn't even felt it when she'd fallen to the ground. The crazy part is, I'm actually glad to be back, Kagome thought. And it was true - compared to the hell she'd just gone through, even the strange world of the dead looked good.
But thinking about the void brought her thoughts abruptly back to Inu Yasha. That bastard! she raged inwardly. If he dies on me, I'll kill him! Goddamn bloody hanyou, doing that to me and then vanishing before I can punish him properly…
Unless… it really wasn't real? She got to her feet slowly, trying to remember what Kai had told her. He said that the fate-sealer likes toying with its victims' minds instead of their bodies… So, what if that was all just the fate-sealer's way of hurting me? And that demon Inu Yasha - maybe he was only the embodiment of one of my worst fears…
Kagome was getting steadily angrier, not so much at the fate-sealer but at herself for believing that any of that could be true. Inu Yasha may be a baka, but he's got a good heart. And he's changed since I first met him. I don't think he really wants to be a full-blooded youkai anymore.
“And if he ever tried to hurt Miroku or Sango or Shippou or even Kirara, I'd sit him so bad he wouldn't know which way was up!” she said out loud, smacking her palm with her fist.
A faint crash from somewhere off to her right made Kagome pause, listening. Her expression changed from angry to puzzled - that had almost sounded like…
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Inu Yasha had no warning. One minute he was standing a little ways away from his companions, staring at the overlapping worlds and trying to figure out what was wrong with his eyesight, the next his face was smashed into the ground.
“What the fuck?! Even when she's supposed to be dead that bloody girl can't bloody well leave me alone! What the hell is going on here?!” The hanyou's muffled stream of curses was cut off as he choked on a worm.
As soon as the spell wore off, Inu Yasha jumped to his feet, gagging and spitting out bits of dirt and worm. “That was disgusting,” he muttered, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. Then his mind snapped back to what had just happened. “Wait a sec… Kagome's the only one who can activate the spell - but she's supposed to be dead!” For the second time that day, something Miroku had said surfaced in his mind. “Might it not be possible that Kagome is not actually dead, but simply invisible?”
His prayer bead necklace was still glowing slightly from the spell, and he absently fiddled with it as he continued to think. So if Kagome can still sit me, then either this spell somehow works beyond death itself, or… or maybe she's not dead! He felt hope begin to stir in him and he clung to that thought, unconsciously gripping his necklace tighter…
And there she was.
Inu Yasha almost didn't believe his eyes, thinking this to be an after-affect of his thoughts. But when she was still there after a vigorous head shake he let his hope swell until he was practically glowing with it. He could see her!
“Kagome!” the hanyou shouted, unable to keep the happiness out of his voice. He didn't care, as long as she would turn and smile at him like she used to. “Kagome, over here!” Letting go of his necklace, he waved his hand wildly.
Inu Yasha's arm froze in mid-wave. Blinking, he tried to re-locate the silvery image of Kagome, but she seemed to have disappeared. Crimson flecks began to surface in his eyes, marring the dark gold irises like bubbles in hot water. He had seen her again. And she had disappeared again. A low, dangerous growl started deep in his chest, rumbling out between slightly bared fangs. His hands curled into fists reflexively, claws digging into his palms until they bled. She had left him again.
The hanyou could tell that he was slowly losing control, and if he didn't calm himself soon he might hurt his companions, who were huddled together a short distance away. Reluctantly, he forced his tense muscles to relax and halted the growl that been growing louder by the second. Taking a deep breath, Inu Yasha tried to reason with himself.
Okay, so that's what - the second time you've seen her since she… since she faded? There's got to be some reason you keep seeing her. Unless it's just a random kind of thing… but that's impossible, the dead can't reveal themselves to the living. At least, as far as I know… He pondered this thought for a few moments before discarding it. No, there's gotta be some reason that I can all of a sudden see her. But what is it?
Unconsciously, he reached up to toy with his necklace as he thought. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately, but the necklace was the strongest remind of Kagome he had - it was only natural that he'd think of it as something of a talisman. As his fingers came into contact with the smooth beads, something connected in his mind. (A/N: FINALLY -_-x Does anyone else have the sudden urge to jump out of a tub and shout “Eureka!” ?) It was so simple, he could've kicked himself for not thinking of it earlier. It's has to work. It will work. Inu Yasha looked directly at the spot where he had just seen Kagome and gripped his rosary, praying…
As if on cue, the raven-haired girl came into his sight again, shining silver against the strange backdrop of the overlapping worlds. Her body had stiffened slightly, like a wild animal that senses a change in the wind. Inu Yasha felt a rush of hope that wasn't entirely his flood through his body, and he thought he could hear a pounding like a heartbeat in his ears as she slowly turned her head and looked directly at him. And suddenly she was running, her misty hair flying out behind her and her feet making no impression on the grass as she raced towards the hanyou.
Inu Yasha was too dazed with happiness to move, but he made sure his fingers were firmly curled around the prayer beads. There was no way he was going to let go now that he could see her again.
Kagome had almost reached him when she slowed down, coming to a halt a few feet away from where he was standing. She looked cautious, almost scared, as if she didn't believe that this was real. What had happened to change her cheerful, trusting nature so drastically?
“In- Inu Yasha?” she asked hesitantly.
The hanyou frowned slightly, wondering why there was a tremor in her voice. “What?”
“There's been a shortage in the future and… and all the ramen is gone,” Kagome said sadly, her face perfectly straight.
“WHAT?” Inu Yasha yelped, his eyes going wide and his jaw dropping open. “No more ramen?! When? How? WHY?”
But all thoughts of food were swept out of his mind when Kagome suddenly smiled tremulously and threw herself into his arms, clinging to him like she was afraid he would suddenly vanish.
“Inu Yasha, I… I had to be sure, but… Oh, Inu Yasha, it is you!”
Overwhelmed, Kagome burst into tears.
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Yup, there it is - chapter fourteen. You know that feeling, when you have a scene pictured perfectly in your mind but you can't seem to find the right words to describe it? That was how I felt through the WHOLE CHAPTER -_-x So I apologize if there was any sub-standard writing, lol (with any luck, none of you noticed any difference…) Well, the story is winding down now… probably about two or three more chapters to go, so thanks again for sticking with me ^_^ Tell me what you think about this chappy, okay?
~SilverMyste~