InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Failure ❯ Failure ( Chapter 6 )

A/n: I had four pages of this chapter done when I realized… I didn't like it all too well. I was stumped, and I had no idea where to go with it… So I decided to watch an episode on Adult Swim tonight to see if I could get some ideas… And boy, did it work! It was the episode where Inuyasha `chooses' Kikyo over Kagome… “Where We First Met” was the episode. Kind of an early one, too. Anyway, watching it made me realize something… I realized that I thinkthere is a loophole I could use in Takahashi Rumiko-san's plot… I almost feel bad for using it, but hey! It's going to be vital in my story now. This is gonna give this story a whole new twist! But not for a while now. I'm still unsure where I'm going with the story, but I have a vague idea… and somehow, I'm gonna get there.And I feel almost silly now cause I can barely remember what I wrote in previous chapters, and so I usually write kind of blindsided. Is that sad, or what? I have to go back and reread what I wrote, because I always write off the top of my head… Oi. Sorry for such a long author's note, but I'm done now. Love you guys! Thanks for the support! Now, on to the story.Be ready for a whammy of a chapter, because I think this may just floor you guys.

 

Disclaimer: Inuyasha is hot. And I am not. So together, we do not mingle well : (.

 

Chapter VI: Failure

 

 

Inuyasha strode forward, and knelt down in front of Kagome… she didn't even seem to notice him until he brushed her bangs affectionately from her eyes and spoke her name ever so gently…

 

“Kagome…”

 

She lifted her head up, her eyes sparkling like twilight and widened in shock only slightly, gazing into his amber eyes in confusion and helplessness. Her eyes did waver, and she stood stock still, obviously debating on what to do…

 

And when she opened those delicate pink lips of hers to speak, Inuyasha only put his hand tenderly against her lips, willing her to let him speak first. A light blush spread across her cheeks, tears still running freely… but he still looked her straight in the eyes, his own looking scared, yet resolute.

 

“Kagome…”

 

He had to force the words from his mouth; he knew he had to do this. It was the words he spoke which would decide whether or not their relationship would burn brightly or fade off into time…

 

“K-Kagome… I'm…”

 

She looked at him expectantly, shivering with nervousness… Half expecting him to cast her aside…

 

“I-I'm so sorry, Kagome…”

 

She covered her mouth with her small hands, choking back a sobbed cough which threatened to leak through her lips… And did anyway, wracking her small frame harshly.

 

She flung herself into his arms, understanding all he meant when he said that, and let only her cries speak for her as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. He pulled her as close to his body as was possible, which in itself was not satisfying enough.

 

Inuyasha almost felt this need to absorb her body into his own, so he could protect her from the hurt which he caused the best… He fell into a cross-legged sit, opening his haori and ushering her inside, wrapping it around her torso as if in an attempt to hide her from the world in her vulnerability.

 

“I-Inuyasha… Inuyasha, you hurt me. You hurt me s-so b-bad…”

 

His heart clenched in regret, as he pulled her closer, putting his chin on top of her head…

 

“I know, Kagome… I know… And I'm so sorry… I promise to never hurt you like that again…”

 

He let her cry to her heart's desire…

 

And he knew… he knew he has to ask her what she wanted…

 

“Kagome…?”

 

She looked up at him, searching those amber eyes again…

 

“Do you still want to stay by my side…? I… I'll understand if you want to go home now…”

 

Kagome looked at him at first as if she was stunned by the suggestion… and then that look turned to disgust.

 

Inuyasha's ears fell, but he knew… he knew it was plausible she'd leave him… he even told himself so… But he knew no matter what he did, he wouldn't be prepared for the hurt it caused… And it really, really did hurt… so much…

 

Kagome saw his face drop, and Inuyasha looked instantly depressed. What, did he think she had rejected him already?

 

Her face scrunched up in anger. Did he have so little faith in her?

 

Flushed, she smacked his shoulder roughly and yelled at him, “Baka no desu!” He looked surprised, and then a little more hurt… Why would she add insult to injury…?

 

It was like pouring salt over an open wound…

 

“I told you a long time ago I'd never leave your side!”

 

Inuyasha was floored with the sudden rush of relief that hit him like a tidal wave… she wasn't leaving him?!

 

But inside he felt himself darken with anticipation…

 

Why can't we be…?

 

Promises…

 

He knew the answer…

 

“You… aren't going to leave me?” He stared at her, nonetheless, hoping it was true. He just wanted to hear her say it…

 

“No! No, I'm not gonna leave you, you idiot!” She pushed her way into his arms again, wrapping her arms tightly around his midsection as if afraid to let go. As if he might disappear out of her life if she let go.

 

“D…do you want me to stay here...?” She asked back, hesitantly…

 

“Are you crazy?! Of course I want you here!”

 

He pulled her tighter against him, holding her for all his worth.

 

“Now who's a baka?”

He knew she was blushing. He didn't even have to look to know.

 

And so, they stayed like that a while… just enjoying each other… that's all they wanted…

 

Just to be near one another…

 

And as she drifted off to sleep, Inuyasha's mind began to wonder…

 

I've made a promise to Kikyo… And… I can't just go back on my word…

 

He looked down at Kagome, who was by now sleeping peacefully. He brushed the hair from her face, leaning down and sniffing her… she did smell so good…

 

But I don't want to leave Kagome… who'd protect her? That mangy wolf?

 

He growled at himself for even thinking such a possibility. Let that stupid wolf take her?! No way!!

 

But… once he fulfilled Kikyo's wish… who was he to say?

 

He leaned back against the Goshinboku, unsure what to do… He closed his eyes, and thought back… to days him and Kagome had spent together…

 

…

 

Kagome turned and looked at him, smiling so very softly at him, genuinely happy. She touched the Goshinboku, and rubbed its bark almost lovingly…

 

“Inuyasha, my mother once told me… that when you're near the Sacred Tree, it makes you truer to yourself… don't you think so?”

 

Inuyasha scoffed, blushing and put his hands behind his head. He closed his eyes and gave his response, “Feh! Your mom sounds like a loony to me, Kagome!How's that for being truer to yourself, huh?”

 

Kagome huffed. Her obvious attempt to be sensitive with him had apparently been shot down and was now making a descent to explode faaaar away.

 

“You're such an insensitive jerk, you know that Inuyasha?!”

 

…

 

Inuyasha smiled sadly, knowing he was always an insensitive jerk to Kagome… at least now he was finally `growing up'… thanks to this woman who had taught him how to trust…

 

And to love again…

 

…

 

Kagome trudged up the hill, beaming radiantly… She had a soft yellow sundress on and a gay-looking floppy hat on… (even though she looked positively adorable, the only manly thing to do was to call it gay-looking.)

 

Inuyasha eyed her suspiciously, sniffing the wind to catch what was in it…

 

Kagome huffed, somewhat tuckered out at having to carry that large thing up the hill all by her self even while Inuyasha was at the top, staring at the basket as if it had a decapitated head in it.

 

…he can be such a moron sometimes…

 

She smiled anyway, though, watching his ears twitch in response to her arrival.

 

… A very ADORABLE moron, but a moron either way…

 

Inuyasha watched her struggle with the basket, having to hold it with two hands to carry it and lugging it as if she had a tiny ningen inside of it.

 

Inuyasha grumbled as he made his way down to her, grabbing the basket from her. She brightened even more at him, greeting him warmly and giving him an appreciative look. He just blushed and grumbled more as she grabbed him by the hand and dragged him toward Sango, Miroku, Shippo, and Kirara who mewled in excitement at her return.

 

Inuyasha put the basket down, dropping himself into his signature cross-legged position, with his arms in his haori sleeves.

 

“Kagome, what the fuck is in that thing, huh?!” She just continued smiling, “You'll see!”

 

She opened it up, and out jumped a puppy. It was fluffy and white, with light blue eyes and a very friendly disposition.

 

As soon as it was out, it was on Inuyasha, pinning him to the floor the best the small beast could do and licking Inuyasha all over the face.

 

“HAHA! Inuyasha, it appears the puppy likes you!” Sango called out, amused.

 

Inuyasha just sputtered, flailing a bit. “What the hell?!”

 

He barked at the dog, which got down and sat obediently.

 

The entire group watched in shock, except for Shippo who tackled the puppy and was rolling around on the ground with it.

 

Inuyasha started looking angry, and stared at her, “What were you thinking, wench?!” Her smile instantly dropped, her eyebrows coming together in concern.

 

“What do you mean, Inuyasha? What did I do?”

 

Inuyasha waved his hand to the puppy, “THAT! That's what you did!”

 

She frowned, “And that's wrong?”

 

He nodded, pissed off. “Yeah! When did you think we'd fucking have time to take care of it?! Who's gonna take care of it when we're gone?!”

 

Kagome looked enlightened, smiled and started laughing again.

 

“Inuyasha, silly, who said it was ours? I got her for Souta. I just wanted to introduce her to everybody.”

 

Inuyasha's anger stopped abruptly, and he muttered, “O-oh.”

 

Kagome nodded warmly and she dropped down to her knees to pet the nice puppy.

 

Sango smiled at the pair. Miroku was smiling too. Kagome's cheerfulness was contagious, and no one seemed immune… though no one seemed to mind.

 

“So, what'd you name him?” Shippo piped, hugging the puppy and laughing goofily.

 

“Her, Shippo. It's a girl,” Kagome corrected, “and we named her Shinsei…”

 

When she said the name, she looked at Inuyasha slightly… Inuyasha's eyes slightly widened, but he said nothing… except…

 

“That's a very nice name…”

 

He spoke quietly, which caused Sango, Shippo, and Miroku to look at each other in confusion…

 

But Inuyasha understood….

 

That was the name of his mother.

 

…

 

 

She's always pulling stunts like that… doing things she thinks will make me smile…

 

And he was always just passing it off, as a front, acting as if it were nothing and didn't affect him…

 

He felt the girl beneath him shift in her sleep… she looked so peaceful… so pure…

 

Just like a Tennyo…

 

He smiled… a fang popped out of his mouth sheepishly, but he didn't mind thinking that… he wouldn't ever have to tell her…

 

Never…

 

He felt so drained… and he let himself be washed over by memories of her once more to ease the dull ache that throbbed in his chest, trying to pull him into a reality he no longer wanted nor accepted…

 

…

 

Kagome gasped for breath as she tried to pull her backpack over the edge of the well… but it wasn't being very cooperative… and she was leaning over the ledge in a rather very precarious position that made Inuyasha harden and made his nose bleed as he stared at her, his mouth gaping like a fish. All that was visible was her backside, her torso being hunched inside the well… the wind was blowing and her skirt was rising to very, very dangerous levels of short that almost showed her ass off.

 

What was she doing…?!

 

He right away felt the hairs on the back of his neck in indignation when he realized Kagome did this in that ridiculously short kimono out in the middle of the forest where there were demons and such, and that anyone could right now be staring at HIS Kagome the way he was at this very instant! He felt himself fluff up in irritation, his ears perking outward for signs of trouble as he shouted at the defenseless girl.

 

“OI! Kagome! What the hell are you thinking?!” He stomped over to her, as she threw a nasty look at him over her shoulder.

 

“Then hel-EEP!”

 

Inuyasha grabbed her around the waist with one arm easily, as he hoisted the backpack she had stuffed overly full and had struggled with so with the other hand as if it were light as a feather.

 

“Oi, Kagome, this thing weighs like… well, a fucking ton! What the hell do you got in here that's so very important, huh?!”

 

She gave him another, somewhat nastier look this time around and was plopped on the ground next to her bag rather carelessly.

 

Her pride fairly hurt by his carelessness and her inability, and his awaiting look. He had one eyebrow arched, was tapping his foot, and pointing at the backpack in demand.

 

She flushed and threw the top open, and it was packed to the very brim with nothing but ramen for him.

 

Inuyasha, to say the least, was rather embarrassed…

 

He blushed… but he also didn't want to apologize… so he stood there silently.

 

All the while, Kagome expected at least a `thank you' or an `I'm sorry'… but noooo… And all the while, she got further and further peeved… until she screamed at him, “Inuyasha, you freakin' insensitive jerk! OSUWARI!”

 

He kissed the dirt as she ran off in a rampage, and even though he was `sat' so easily… he still couldn't help but drool over the ramen…

 

…

 

So selfless… always thinking of others…

 

Whereas… Inuyasha felt so selfish remembering all these kind things about her… Always considering him, even though he made her angry to no end… He felt so… so guilty…

 

And all I can do to repay her… is leave her again…

 

He pulled off the top of his fire rat robe and eased himself from her, disentangling them both and put her gently on the ground. He draped the haori top over her…

 

By hurting her again…

 

He looked at her… she was so beautiful…

 

Breath taking…

 

He winced… and bent over… and kissed her softly…

 

It was now or never… It was time to leave before she fell in love with him to the point of no return…

 

And the same goes for me… Even though it's too late already…

 

He thought bitterly…

 

And so he stood up, whispering one last apology.

 

It was time to go to Kikyo… and time to go to hell with her… like he had promised years ago…

 

Inuyasha stood there for a prolonged amount of time, staring at Kagome… his breath had caught in his throat, and there was a lump he just could not swallow…

 

And he felt wetness on his cheeks he did not dare acknowledge…

 

“I… better go before I chicken out, Kagome… like the fucking scardy cat I am…”

 

He heaved a great sigh, feeling as if the world rested upon his shoulders…

 

“I love you Kagome… and I always will… and I will always know, you are Kagome and only Ka-go-me.” He smiled softly at the memory of when they first met…

 

“I'm sorry I'm such a failure… goodbye Kagome…”

 

And once more, Inuyasha was engulfed in the darkness of night as he vanished from sight.

 

 

A/n: There was fluff, but it was angst-ridden. I'm sorry. I really am. Was that evil of me? I don't know. Read and review… I hope you enjoyed it -^_^-… I'm sad now! *sniffles*… Aghness… I think I'm go read some lemony stories to bring up my mood… I wonder if some of my favs are updated… hmmmm!Until next time, my most favorite readers in all time!! ^__^!