InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Fallen Part Two: For Whom the Bell Tolls ❯ Changes ( Chapter 9 )

Chapter 9: Changes

She had been gone a month and in that time the disease had taken hold of him. The progress was painfully slow, causing only minor symptoms that could be passed off as fatigue, but as the disease progressed there was no denying he was sick. He was terribly ill, something that became painfully obvious to the child who resided with him. He had been training her, teaching her the basics of combat when she first noticed that there was something terribly wrong with him.

They had been practicing the hunt, helping to sharpen and hone Rin's senses when she realized that her protector swayed on his feet. He completely lacked the grace that was normally associated with his confident stride. Sweat beaded on his forehead and occasionally he would shiver, as if cold. The child, sensing something was wrong, but knowing he would not admit to it decided to spare him the indignity of professing his illness, his weakness, however temporary, aloud.

"Lord Sesshoumaru?" she tentatively asked. When she received the usual grunt in reply, she posed her question. "May we go back now? I'm tired," she claimed, only half lying while adding in a fake yawn for good measure. He had nodded in reply, forming his youki cloud around his feet. The child joined him upon it and they headed back towards their home. They had barely made it inside the rather large domicile when he had stumbled and collapsed.

"Lord Sesshoumaru?" the child called, trying to no avail to rouse him. Fear gripped her heart when he didn't respond to her cries. Tears formed in her eyes before she angrily wiped them away. With a set resolve the child dragged his heavy form to his room where she clumsily deposited him upon his futon.

Something terrible was ailing him, something that was beyond the young child's comprehension. The disease was horrible, taking on a different form, with different symptoms with each of its victims. It was a disease born from inhaling the ashes of a phoenix. The phoenix's method of departure from a difficult situation served another purpose. It was an attack known as Phoenix Dust. The phoenix would spontaneously combust, burning themselves until there was nothing left but ash. The wind would carry the ash, allowing the phoenix to go virtually anywhere they so wished. The ash inhaled by the assailant is a deadly thing. Nine out of ten died, and those who did not underwent changes.

But that was where the myths came into play. It is said that those who survive the entire course of the disease become a beast of hell that feeds off of death and ash; the dragon is born. Other's say that the victim takes on some of the characteristics of that particular Phoenix, that they are chosen to become something more. Nothing is proven however. Others still say that is how the legendary Phoenix ensures that their species lives on, because they only produce one offspring once every century. They say that at the end of a two-month period the afflicted burst into flame and be reborn from the ashes as Phoenixes. But, once again, no one can say for certain.

//I'm not supposed to be scared of anything, but I don't know where I am
I wish that I could move but I'm exhausted and nobody understands (how I feel)//

The illness is different for each person. For this particular inu, the disease started slowly. He first experienced blurred vision and dizzy spells. For a fortnight this lasted, progressively getting worse. Days rolled by and it eventually turned into something that he could not completely ignore, but it was also not something that he could easily deal with. He could not go to a healer and risk having his weakened state be projected to all of his enemies, so he remained silent. Early into the second fortnight he collapsed. His vision failed him and he was plagued with high fevers and hallucinations.

//I'm trying hard to breathe now but there's no air in my lungs
There's no one here to talk to and the pain inside is making me numb//

Through all of his fever induced illusions, there was only one constant. A great Phoenix always greeted him wherever he went. Then it would leave him, as quickly as it had come, taking with it a sense of comfort that he had never felt before. It left him feeling exposed, which was not something he was familiar with. The darkness would return to him, enshrouding him, blanketing him before it would once again be dispelled. Escorted on a ray of light, Kagome would come to him. He knew not why she of all people would be there, in his dreams, but it was comforting to know someone was with him. Not that he would ever admit to that one aloud.

//I try to hold this

Under control
They can't help me

'Cause no one knows//

~X~

She had been training for the passed month, having found the sensei that her mother had set her out to find. In that time, a sick feeling had settled in her gut that she could not shake. As the days progressed, the feeling grew worse, grew more intense. It was almost as if there was a leaden weight that was being lowered into her stomach that caused it to churn and roil in discontent. Something was terribly wrong back at the fortress where she had left her sister. Each night she dreamed of him, and each night those dreams became more vivid, more real.

Images of Rin sitting next to his futon, crying flashed through her mind's eye. The energy ball she held between her two hands flared dangerously and shot out of her grasp as her concentration wavered. The pink ball narrowly missed her slightly concerned instructor and hit a tree behind him, exploding on contact. Things were getting increasing worse as these visions not only visited her in her sleep, but had begun to haunt her in her waking hours as well. Things were only growing worse for the young demoness. She opened her eyes to look at her sensei with pleading eyes as tears began to gather. He stood there for several moments before he nodded slowly in understanding. Faster than lightening, she was gone. She had no time to waste she needed to get back to them.

~X~

//Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm going through changes, changes//

Here in this fever induced coma, he was much more vulnerable than during his waking hours. Here his mental barriers weren't as strong, allowing some emotion to peek through the cracked shell. In his dreamland he was a child again, chasing insects through a wide field, laughing and playing. He could even see his mother again, though her features were slightly blurred from the years of separation. It had been so long since he had last seen his mother. It had been so long since she had died.

In the waking world, he was a different story. Despite this fact, there was a child who loved him dearly. The child sat on a cushion next to his bed, watching diligently as he tossed and turned. A steady torrent of silent tears coursed down her cheeks as she watched her hero suffer this illness. She had tried in vain to heal him in the first stages to heal him, but nothing worked. She pushed herself to the limits of her currently limited experience, failing to reach the vast wellspring of her power to heal him. It just wasn't enough. This illness opened a new reality to the poor child, a reality she was not yet ready to face. Her Great Sesshoumaru was not indestructible, he was not undefeatable, he wasn't as perfect as her child's mind had made him out to be. In her ignorance and naiveté, she failed to realize that he was as real as herself or her sister, and the realization was heartbreaking for the child.

She had been sitting there for days, a silence taking hold of her that no one could understand. With that silence came a sense of peace, almost as if she knew help was coming. She only moved to do necessary things, like eat and bathe, she slept by his side, ever constant in her vigil. She was so accustomed to the silence she was scared half out of her wits when a noise intruded upon her sweet serenity that was only broken by the tossing of her Great Lord. For a moment, she cowered in fear, hearing a voice in the antechamber of the domicile. Slowly the voice floated to her in gentle waves upon the still air and recognition came to her. Her eyes sparked with joy and relief as she jumped to her feet, racing to the sliding door and slamming it open. She was just about to shout the name of her beloved sister, when another voice stopped her cold.

//I'm feeling weak and weary walking through this world alone
Everything you say, every word of it, cuts me to the bone (and I bleed)//

"Rin… how many times have I told you… not to slam my doors?" his soft voice rasped from the corner of the room, sounding harsh from disuse. The young phoenix turned back around, a joyous light entering her eyes, as she stared into a pair of lucid golden eyes. Tears began to gather in her eyes as she squealed in pure joy as she ran back to his bedside, attaching herself to his side in a fierce hug.

He sat there for a moment, unsure as to what to do. Finally coming to a decision as to his course of action, he brought his hand up and gently stroked her hair in acknowledgement. She pulled away, her smile bright enough to light the entire room coming to a close rivalry with the sun. The child's attention was quickly diverted when the sweet voice that awakened him from his slumber rang out once more. It was then he realized something about himself was different, but he could not quite place it.

Brushing it off as nothing, he nodded to his ward. "Go get her," he said softly.

Like a shot the child was gone. The patter of small feet rang through the halls and reached the Lord's ears. A few moments later there was a muffled "oomph" followed by the thud of a considerable weight hitting the wood floor. Sesshoumaru grimaced slight to himself, feeling sympathy for the girl on the receiving end of that tackle. Very slowly, he pushed himself into a sitting position. It was then he realized what was wrong, or rather off.

He used two arms to push himself up.

He sat there in a confused shock, his breath having left him in a sharp gasp, uncharacteristic for him. Slowly, almost, darest I say, fearfully, he lifted the offending arm within his line of sight and examined it. The arm was his down to the stripes that should be there and the poison that infused his claws. He heard a soft gasp and looked up from his new arm. Rin was sitting cheerfully on her cushion once more and in the door way stood a slightly disheveled, wide-eyed-with-shock Kagome.

"Rin," he said softly, so softly that his words were almost missed even with both girls' advanced hearing. He was looking intently down at his hand now, a look of awe flashing through his eyes as he moved his arm and flexed his fingers, creating a fist. "What is the meaning of this?"

//I've got something to say, but now I've got no where to turn
It feels like I've been buried underneath all the weight of the world//

The girl looked at him for a moment, her expression crumbling as tears filled her eyes. "I-I tried to h-heal you," she sniffled, trying to stave off the impending tears, "just after you got sick, but that w-was all I c-c-could do." Tears were no streaming down her cheeks despite her best efforts, as her lower lip trembled slightly. "I thought you were going to die! You wouldn't wake up," she sobbed. "I tried and tried, but you wouldn't wake up."

"Rin?" Kagome asked. "Was it you? Were you the one who called me?"

Rin turned her tear-streaked face towards her sister, sniffling quietly as she wiped furiously at her face, trying to stem the flow of tears. "M-mommy told me to," she sniffled. "She said you would know…" her sentence was cut off before she could finish by a hiccough and a sob as the flow of tears intensified.

Sesshoumaru shot Kagome a meaningful glare, before he turned his gaze back towards the child of his heart. Kagome nodded once, knowing he would see the signal of acknowledgement and eased out of the room. Quietly, in an almost ghost like fashion she wandered the halls of the deserted mansion.

Eventually, she found her way out of the mansion and found her way to the gardens. She wandered the vast planes of terrestrial beauty until she came to a large cherry tree. There she sat herself and began to meditate. Her eyes slid closed, looking for all the world like she fell asleep leaning against the trunk of the tree, but beneath the still waters of her cool exterior, the interior was a raging storm. She sat there for hours before her eyes suddenly snapped open. Her ethereal eyes glowed for a moment before she raced back to the lord's room.

She slowed to a walk once she reached the hallway in which the lord's room resided. When she reached the door, she did not hesitate to open it and enter. Once inside, she was shocked to find Rin cuddled up against Sesshoumaru's side, her small arms hugging him around his middle like some kind of teddy bear. Kagome, finding the entire scene to be completely absurd, she could barely contain a giggle at the adorable sight.

His eyes snapped to the door as it opened, his gaze narrowed and his body tensed, ready to defend his precious child from any threat with his life. His gaze settled on her form, and he visibly relaxed. He looked back down at the child while he continued to absently run his fingers through her shiny black locks.

//I try to hold this

Under control
They can't help me

'Cause no one knows//

"If I die," he began softly, a pain lacing his voice that could only be attained by a child that knew their time was nearing, but feared leaving their beloved child behind. "If I die, you will be in charge of her," he said, regret began to lace in with the other uncharacteristic emotions, regret and guilt. It had taken him so long to realize just how much he cared for the child. It had taken him so long to realize just how much she meant to him. He lifted his gaze so it was level with hers, so her was looking her in the eyes. "Should that happen," he continued, "if you do not protect her with your life, I will rise from my very grave to kill you… slowly," he growled out, the steel edge to his voice causing her to shudder slightly for all the wrong reasons.

"I," she began haughtily, "unlike others in this room, love my younger sibling. If she comes to any harm, it will be -over- -my- -dead- -body-!" she hissed before she angrily stalked out, completely forgetting what she had come to say.

Sesshoumaru smirked to himself as he watched her storm out of his room. It was so easy to get under her skin. It was good to know that his little Rin would be taken care of, though. Gently, he shifted Rin so that he could lay back down. Once comfortable, his eyelids began to feel heavy, and he could feel the heat that radiated off of his body. Ever so slowly, his eyes slid shut and he feel once more into his fever induced dreams.

~X~

A fortnight had passed since Kagome had arrived making the duration of Sesshoumaru's illness a month and a half. Anxiously the girls watched and waited, desperately hoping for some kind of improvement whilst they tried to make him as comfortable as possible. None was forth coming, if anything the situation deteriorated. As time wore on and his condition worsened, the girls became depressed, knowing that there was nothing they could really do for him.

He would spend days at a time swimming in the endless sea of nothingness and dreams of his fever induced coma. Occasionally, he would awaken and demand this or that, but those times were few and far between. Those few moments did little to comfort them.

//Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately//

One particular morning, he awoke to find Kagome asleep leaning against the wall next to his bed; a damp rag lay in her limp grip and an empty bowl that once contained water sat next to her. He lay there for several moments, content to simply watch her. After several moments, she twitched in her sleep and her brows furrowed. Sesshoumaru grew tired of laying down and sat up, propping himself up against the wall as he continued his study of the phenomenon next to him. She began to mumble incoherently even for his heightened hearing, as she lowered herself to the ground in her sleep. A single tear fell, followed by another and she curled in upon herself.

Not liking where this was going, Sesshoumaru decided it would be a good idea to wake her up. Mentally grumbling to himself about weak females, he reached out to touch her shoulder. When that produced no results, he gently shook her, trying to gain her attention before she began to full out sob. All his efforts were for naught, when she merely hugged herself tighter and began to cry harder.

"Woman," he growled this time, punctuating a rougher shake with a growl, as he began to panic. Before he could retract his hand, her small taloned hands shot out and grasped his larger clawed one between her two and pulled it to her in a death grip. With his hand in her possession clutching it to her chest, she calmed back down into a peaceful slumber. The girl sighed, a peaceful smile on her face. Sesshoumaru tried to remove his hand, but found she only tightened her relentless grip. He tried again and again with the same results. He sighed, exasperated, and silently grumbled to himself about his inability to release himself. This illness had made him weak.

He heard the soft patter of small feet on the wooden boards of the floor and renewed his efforts to free his incarcerated hand only to meet the same results. The door slid open and he stilled his efforts, halfheartedly glaring at the current bane of his existence. Rin walked in the room seconds later, carefully balancing a tray in her grasp. Her brow was furrowed in deep concentration as she tried desperately not to spill the contents of the tray and failing miserably as the liquid in the rather large bowl sloshed over the edge. Finally she reached the low table that rested nearest his bedside and carefully placed the tray upon it. Once that task was accomplished, she looked up, her eyed lighting up in pure joy as she caught sight of her mentor awake once more.

"You're awake!" she squealed, quickly latching her arms around his neck in a jubilant hug. He sat there for several moments, anchored down by one girl, and pinned by the other. After a moment's hesitation, Sesshoumaru brought his free hand up and gently patted Rin's back.

"Awe, that's so sweet," a rather sleepy voice mumbled as bleary eyes watched their satisfied sister detach herself. Sesshoumaru spared no time in rounding a frigid glare on the half-asleep woman.

"Release me," he grumbled, an underlying growl marking his words with indignation.

"What?" she asked thoroughly puzzled in her muddled state of mind. He nodded towards his imprisoned hand and after a moment's confusion she looked down. A crimson blush blossomed when she found his hand held securely within her own, nestled comfortably between her pert breasts. She hastily released his hand, as if burned, and sat up, hugging her knees to her chest. "S-sorry," she stammered.

He merely grunted in reply as he slowly, almost painfully pushed himself up, rising to his feet. He wavered for a moment, unsteady on legs that had not supported weight for the better part of two months.

//When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm going through changes, changes//

When the girls moved to help him, she shot them both a scathing glare. "Stay here," he growled, there were just some things he needed to do that the girls should not be present during. Proudly he stalked out of the room, his head held high, true to his breed. He would receive no help from a woman or a girl in this matter.

His pride would be his undoing.

~X~

Both girls looked each other in the eye for a moment, a silent message being communicated between them. The younger of the two hissed slightly in protest to whatever it was the older one wanted and tried to make for the door. Her sibling held her back for a moment, a gentle yet firm hand on her shoulder, and shook her head. Reluctant understanding came to the younger one and she nodded once. They would give him a few moments before they would follow.

~X~

//I'm blind and shakin'
Bound and breaking
I hope I make it through all these changes//

He had made it half way to the lake that rested near his home before his brisk pace took its toll. His movements caused the remnants of the poison to spread more quickly through his veins, causing him to become clumsy, tripping over his own two feet and everything else. His pace slowed as he was struck by a bout of dizziness. He was barely staggering now, moving from tree to tree, using the firm trunks as support. Eventually he was forced to stop, he swayed on his feet causing him to lean heavily against the tree by which he stopped. Spots began to cloud his vision before it was completely overrun. He tried to take another step, hell bent on reaching his destination, staggering and falling. His breathing became erratic as he made contact with the cool dirt of the path he had taken. Sightless eyes fruitless searched for a threat of any kind and he desperately tried to listen for footsteps, but failed to hear much over the beating of his heart. But even that eventually began to fade until he could hear nothing. The only thing left to him was his sense of smell.

//Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately

When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm falling apart, now I feel it//

He scented the air, but only found familiar scents. This calmed him a bit, but didn't server to stem the flow of panic that had engulfed him. Even that small sense of comfort, however, was rent from him when he realized that his sense of smell was fading with the slowing beats of his heart. Eventually both functions ceased and a small gasp of breath left his body, then there was nothing.

//Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, I hate this
Now I'm going through changes, changes//

~X~

The girls had waited five minutes before they crept out into the hall and eventually out of the fortress. They had been walking for several minutes when a noise from afar reached their ears. Both paused and looked at each other for but a moment before they bolted, calling upon their unnatural speed to aide them in reaching him faster.

When they reached him, his eyes were dull and sightless. He didn't so much as react to their arrival. They listened intently to find that his heart was failing. Both girls looked on in disbelief and horror knowing there was no way to save him. They were not able to react, stuck to the ground in their grief until his heart had stopped pumping altogether.

"No!" Rin cried, launching herself at his prone form, but before she could reach him his body burst into flames, quickly turning to dust. She stopped in her tracks and dropped to her knees. Tears welled in her eyes, and the eyes of her sister as they watched a light breeze pick up the pile of ash and carry it away, scattering it on the four winds.

~X~

Wow guys, this took me forever to type up. I can't believe I finally finished it. I am so sorry it's taken me so long. Actually you guys should thank me because I forsook getting three papers that have been due for the past ever for finishing this flippin thing. Seriously, but I needed the break from school. ~sighs~ I'm so far behind. But that's my problem, YOUR problem will be to read and review. I want some feedback here people!

Much love for all of my readers, especially those who review.

~Ruby~