InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Falling Away ❯ Loves Oldest Adversary ( Chapter 37 )

 

(Tibade's POV)

 

After Miroku left for his room, I went to scent out the exact location of both Lords. Inuyasha I found in his chambers and Pup was in his. I noticed Pup's aura was notably calmer than when I last felt it and I had high hopes of dinner going as planned.

 

When everyone was gathered at the table, the wine was poured and the first course came out. Inuyasha was sitting at one end and Pup was sitting at the other. The children and myself were to Inuyasha's right and Sango, Miroku and Kouga to his left. Jaken stood ever dutifully behind his beloved Lord Sesshoumaru and Hikari and her crew were in and out bringing various dishes. Sango was actually the one to make a little speech and we all toasted to Inuyasha which made him flush furiously before we sat down to eat. Everything seemed to be going well until everyone at the table began to talk.

 

The little one tried to engage Pup in conversation several times only to be met with short answers or a cool look so he quit trying. The odd thing was he would talk to others but not to Inuyasha. He actually ended up talking to Kouga at length about possibly having a larger dojo constructed on the other side of the eastern gardens but when Inuyasha suggested that it might be better placed on the southern side of the palace because no one used the area much Pup dismissed his suggestion with a flick of his wrist. Inuyasha tried to play it off but I knew the gesture had gotten under his skin. At that, the Monk shot me a nervous glance and I shook my head. The last thing I needed was for him to say something to get Pup riled up.

 

I will give Inuyasha credit for blowing it off and opting to turn his attention to Satomi and asking how her training of the women was going. She seemed eager to talk about the matter and before long everyone was giggling and laughing over some of the stories she had to tell. When things settled down she asked Inuyasha what he thought her next move should be far as training went and once he gave his opinion he asked Kouga what he thought. The Wolf Prince thought some basic weapons training like with the blunt swords would be a good place to start. She nodded and said she had two women interested in learning to use the bo staff. This prompted her to ask Miroku if he would consider helping since he was so good with that particular weapon. Everyone chatted for a bit until the main course was brought out and after that all mouths were too full to talk for a while.

 

Once every one had eaten their fill Sango said, “The only thing that could make this any better would be if we had some after dinner entertainment.” The kids piped up at that and Shippou looked at Inuyasha and asked, “Why don't you and Miroku do that disappearing thing out in the courtyard again? Rin and I missed it.”

“That sounds like a great idea,” my Satomi chimed in, “I missed it too and the whole palace is still talking about that one. I would love to see it.”

 

Miroku gave me another look as Inuyasha stumbled around for the right words too gracefully say no. “Uh…maybe some other time guys.”

“Aw come on puh-leeeze,” The kids whined in unison.

 

Pup softly called Rin's name and gave the girl a look and she dropped her head and grew silent. Shippou and Sango missed this and continued to ask the duo to perform. The boys were trying ardently to fend off the requests without raising suspicion but Satomi and the fox kit were being rather insistent. Inuyasha tried to get Pup to help him out by saying, “We would guys, but I have a ton of stuff to do tonight as well as in the morning, right Ru?” However Pup's response did not aid him in quite the way he had hoped.

 

Pups comment stating, “That is true Inuyasha and even if you didn't you don't have time to waste on such frivolous nonsense.” did little to ease the tension between the pair. The fleeting glare in the Monk's direction did not escape my attention. Inuyasha visibly bristled at the remark and I couldn't blame him, it was cold and uncalled for.

 

At that point, I think Kouga caught on to there being something amiss and tried to intervene by changing the subject. I was impressed with his tactic he asked the kids what their plans were for tomorrow and Shippou happily announced that tomorrow Inuyasha had promised to take him and Rin out on the magic lake again. At hearing this Pup gave Inuyasha and incredulous look that was noticed by all. After a moment of awkward silence Rin spoke up and said, “Don't worry Lord Sesshoumaru, Houshi-sama taught Rin to swim month's ago,” she relayed with a proud grin.

 

When Pup's face didn't relax Inuyasha said, “Aw come on Ru even if she couldn't swim do ya think I'd fool around and let the kid drown?”

 

With a cold indifference that shocked us all Pup said, “I honestly do not know what you would and wouldn't do, Inuyasha.”

 

I could all but feel the impending explosion from the youngest Lord of the West; and if he had taken out half the palace while doing so I wouldn't have blamed him. I had never been so disappointed in Pup and his actions in his life. I hesitantly looked at the Monk and he looked like he was close to passing out. His eyes were glazed over and the hand wrapped around his wine glass was shaking like a leaf in the wind. I could only imagine what he was hearing from Inuyasha. When I dared to look up at Inuyasha it was obvious he was seething. Hurt and seething… that's a bad mix of emotion.

 

I watched in morbid fascination as the shock wore off of his face and was replaced with unbridled fury. His features hardened and those light amber eyes darkened to the color of pure honey rimmed in red, he slammed his fists down on the table and shouted, “THAT! IS! IT! I'm outta here!” and to everyone's amazement Pup had the audacity to further aggravate the situation. “You will calm yourself this instant Inuyasha.”

 

Inuyasha leveled a vicious glare across the table and we all saw Pup recoil slightly under the weight of it. Following that, a wave of pure rage rolled off the little one's Youkai and his entire body was soon engulfed in a blue flame. The depth of the hostility coming off him was enough to send Shippou and Rin under the table and into the waiting arms of Sango. She shot a worried look at me as she gathered the children in her arms and moved away from the table as well as the irate Hanyou that sat at head of it.

 

His newly gained ability to levitate was nowhere near as shaky in that instant as it had been earlier. No, he was raising himself off the ground like a seasoned veteran and power he was putting off was flowing around the room like a localized storm. I looked at the Monk as he sat huddled up with Sango and the children. When his eyes met mine, he looked horrified; and at that moment, I wasn't even sure if I wanted to know why. I looked over at Pup and he was trying his best to appear unscathed by all of this but he was failing miserably. His aura was completely on the defensive, the fight had gone out of his eyes and he had a hand wrapped around the mark on his arm.

 

An instant later, I felt a strong demonic aura approaching but I couldn't place it. Kouga must have sensed it too because I saw him trying to scent who it was. Moments later Tetsuagia floated into the room to its master. I'd only seen him do that the one time he was fighting the Baron Mitsuru. Further proof that the kid was in a righteous mood, he slid the sword under his obi and with one last venomous look in Pup's direction, he took off out of the dining hall so rapidly it left all of our ears ringing.

 

When Inuyasha's presence faded enough for it to be deemed safe to move, we all stood up from our places at the table or on the floor. Poor Jaken was almost blown out of the room altogether. No one-save for me­-dared look at the eldest Lord and when I did he actually lowered his head before turning to leave the room without a word.

 

Satomi was busy calming the kids while trying to convince them that everything was going to be okay and that they needed to go to bed. I turned toward the kitchen only to meet the eyes of Hikari and a few of her crew. She was shaking her head in disbelief and once she heard, the children protest about going to bed she came in and offered to make them each a cup of double honey tea (and the main ingredient of said tea happened to be chamomile). They both perked up a little at that so she along with another one of the cooks came and took the kids into the kitchen. Satomi thanked them both profusely and turned to look at me. I had nothing to say so I gave her a weak smile and glanced at the Monk that had been oddly silent since Pup left. I had really figured he would have had something to say.

 

When my eyes fell on him for a longer look I immediately realized why he was so quiet. He had a hand on either side of his head he looked overwhelmed. I followed his movements as he tried to make it back towards his seat and I saw him sway a couple of times and he would have fallen the third time if Kouga hadn't caught him. Kouga got the unsteady young man into a chair and we all waited for him to speak.

 

“This…is not…I can't think…he's on the edge…I know I'm sorry…”

 

Miroku was making little to no sense at all. It was almost as if he was holding several conversations at once. The poor lad looked extremely distressed and I had little in the way of comfort to offer him. If I had had any clue things would have exploded to this degree I would have let him follow his gut earlier. I walked over to him, placed a hand on his shoulder and apologized for being way off the mark about what was needed for this situation.

 

He simply nodded and said, “Lord Sesshoumaru…needs…to go…find…him. Calm…him down…inner demon…pushing…” he then grabbed both sides of his head and doubled over like he'd been punched in the stomach. “…is pushing…at… his restraints.” His face was grimaced in pain and at the sight of this; I kicked myself again for misreading the situation. Not that any of us could have or should have known but apparently, the Monk did, at least to some degree. What Miroku had to say did explain why the young lord took his father's fang with him. I knew it no longer worked like it use to in order to seal his demon blood but it must still help him to some degree.

 

I nodded at him and sped off to find Pup. It was not often that I called on my demonic abilities but I felt that that was not the time to be leisurely strolling through the halls. When I came to Pups chambers, I was surprised to find the doors open and him out on the balcony. I approached him slowly while calling his name. As I told him, what was going on he ignored me as well as everything I had to say. He responded to nothing and it is at times like this that I am reminded of his age…of both their ages; he and Little Happy face are still quite young. If I had to equate their ages to humans, Inuyasha would still be a young teenager and Pup would be barely in his twenties.

 

It was just difficult to do at times, especially with Pup. He has always been so damn collected and commanding. Even as a child, he held an air of togetherness that many adults would and did envy. To see him actually upset and withdrawn into himself was rather frightening. I kept talking, trying to explain to him that he needed to work this through with Inuyasha and swiftly but he remained silent and damn near motionless. The only movement he made while I talked to his back was to occasionally place his hand over the mark on him arm. Other than that, one would have thought him sleep on his feet or in a trance.

 

After a while of pleading with him and getting no response a voice from behind me said, “If you do not go to him then I will.”

 

I turned to find Miroku standing in the doorway, the poor boy physically looked like shit but his face was determined and his eyes held an intensity I had never seen in them. Sesshoumaru turned to look at the Monk and the two of them stood there staring at each other until even I wanted to crawl out of my skin. I had to give Miroku credit for having the courage to confront Pup in his current state. The young man looked like he had been rode hard and put up wet. I could only guess that it was taking a large amount of his energy to hold Inuyasha's thoughts at bay while he held a conversation with Pup.

 

“I will not leave this castle.”

“Lord Sesshoumaru please reconsider this... he...he needs you right now.”

 

I could tell from his stance how emotionally taxing it was on Miroku, to be standing there pleading with his loves lover to go help him. It was definitely something that would tear apart and test even the strongest of us.

 

“He is perfectly capable of taking care of himself and outside of that he obviously has other means of support. He has no need of me or else he would not have left.”

“You don't really mean that.”

“Do not,” Pup stated in firm, cool voice, “put words in my mouth human you may be able to read his thoughts but you know nothing of mine.”

“That is true My Lord but you have to be able to feel the amount of distress he is in. He is hurt and confused and...”

“Yes, he is confused. Confused as to whether he wants to be by my side or yours.”

 

Oh, wow was all I could think at that moment. So it's all going to be aired out between them now. What horrible timing. My youngest Lord was off only Kami knew where and that was when Pup chose to confront the Monk.

 

Miroku's brows knitted together and strode into the room and stopped only a few paces away from where Pup and I were standing. Once he got that close and I could see he was barely holding himself in check. His eyes were shining with barely restrained tears while his chest was heaving with the suppressed anger and frustration he was feeling.

 

“That may be true but the fact that he is reconsidering how he feels about me does not change the fact that he already loves you.”

“You are out of line Monk.”

“Being out of line didn't stop you from speaking at the dinner table this evening did it Lord Sesshoumaru?” Miroku all but sneered in response.

 

Pup bared his fangs at Miroku but the Houshi didn't flinch. He stood his ground and glared right back at Pup. Boy the kid had balls. I had to give Inuyasha this; he had excellent taste in partners. Both of the two in front of me would easily kill for him or die for him and I felt that if they didn't calm down they might just end up killing each other.

 

“You are testing my patience human.”

“Well then leave and for Kami's sake go find your mate!”

“Do not think you can order me about Monk.”

 

Miroku threw his arms up in the air in exasperation and said, “For the love of Buddha this is not about me or you, it's about Inuyasha, and if you can't...”

 

The monk stopped in mid sentence and his left hand went up to his temple. I could only guess he was reaching his limit with keeping Inuyasha out of his head. “Oh for fuck's sake I give up! I will go find him myself!” He said right before he gave Pup a harsh look and turned on his heels to leave. To my surprise, Pup actually lunged at the Monk and with a drop and a roll, the monk managed to evade his grasp. Once he stood up, he dusted himself off and said, “If I were that easy a target Lord Sesshoumaru, Naraku would have killed me off long before the curse even had a chance to really rear its ugly head.”

 

They stood there after that with their eyes locked together and I could tell neither party wanted to back down. As I stood there watching two grown men, young men, but grown nonetheless, basically fight over Inuyasha I realized something. Something I would not dare bring to their attention at that moment but this is what dawned on me. Inuyasha really needed them both. Over the last few months, I have witnessed the role each of these men have played in his life and I honestly couldn't see the little one being happy with one of them gone. No wonder he was having such a rough time right now.

 

Just over the past few weeks, it has become clear at least to me that the bond that is shared by the two boys is not a problem for either of them. They don't appear to mind it. In fact, I would have dared to say that if the bond wasn't an issue with Pup they would simply leave it be. I would see them using it all the time and they appeared to be quite comfortable with it. I think they enjoyed it. Just as the Little One and Pup seem to enjoy the sensory bond that has developed between the two of them.

 

 

I finally couldn't take it any longer and said, “Someone needs to find Inuyasha, and if the two of you are going to stay here and fight it out I will go do it myself.”

 

That got their attention.

 

Miroku's face softened drastically and he said, “Lord Sesshoumaru please, please reconsider,” He sounded so pitiful my heart went out to him. Then just when I thought he had managed to reason with the eldest Lord of the West, Pup simply strolled back out onto the balcony.

 

“Fine just remember it was your own actions that caused this and if he doesn't return you only have yourself to blame,” the Monk said, upon hearing this Pup turned to level those angry golden orbs at him again but it phased the human none. With a confidence, I would have thought beyond him Miroku turned his back on the furious Youkai Lord and marched out of the room.

 

At that moment, I wanted to grab Pup and shake him until he came to his senses. I had never seen anything like this out of him ever. He was acting completely irrational and I had no clue what to do to bring him to his senses. It was hard for me to believe that the bond the Little One had with Miroku was bothering him this much. As I thought about the situation, it slowly dawned on me that it wasn't just the bond it was everything. It was how little the bond seemed to bother Inuyasha. It was how close the two were in general. It was how they were always laughing and carrying on with each other. Pup had let loves oldest adversary get the better of him.

 

He was jealous and had no idea how to handle it emotionally.

 

Once this dawned on me, I stood there trying to reason with Pup to no avail. Just as I saw the Monk leaving on Satomi's fire cat I said what I had hoped would be my final words to him on the matter. “You know you can still go after him Pup.”

 

I knew he heard me but his eyes were locked on the disappearing forms of Miroku and Kilala. He had a death grip on the stone railing of the balcony and finally it gave under the pressure he was exerting upon it. He looked down at the crumpled stone at his feet, lifted his head, and let out an anguished roar that shook the palace walls.

 

He turned to face me while his was roar was still echoing through the halls and didn't make it two steps before he dropped to one knee clutching his arm. I rushed to his side and when I slid up his sleeve the sight that greeted me stunned me to my core. The mark was glowing faintly and it had the look of an infected wound. I felt his forearm, then his head and just as I feared both were extremely warm to the touch. Pup doesn't get ill so I could only gather that the bite marks are reacting poorly to what's taking place between them.

 

I said it before and I should have known it would come to pass. If anyone could manage to make a mess of a simple bonding ritual, it would be them. I looked up to meet his eyes and for the first time since his father's death, his eyes looked despondent and drained. I was so busy assessing the wound on his arm his soft words startled me, “I have finally pushed him too hard haven't I, Tibade?”

 

The words and the way they were spoken didn't even sound like they were coming from Lord Sesshoumaru. If there had been anyone else present, I think I would have felt compelled to look around for another source that those miserable sounding words could have come from. I shook my head and replied, “I don't think so, but I will say you have come damn close. I won't sugarcoat this Pup, you were in the wrong this evening, and you need to fix this. Jealousy is a powerful and destructive thing. I know you can do better than this.”

 

His eyes grew wide at what I had to say but after the shock wore off; he nodded his head and looked down at his arm as a fleeting expression of pain crossed his features. “Hurts like hell huh?” I asked.

 

“It didn't feel this bad to have it cut off.”

 

Dear Kami what an analogy. I had forgotten that the little one had once severed his arm. These two have had the rockiest relationship I've ever seen. I shook my head to try to clear my thoughts and think of something that would help this bite mark on his arm. Problem was the issue wasn't stemming from some physical reaction the bite was reacting to their current mental states. This thought also made me wonder how Inuyasha's mark was fairing. I prayed that Miroku would return with him soon. If Miroku was worried enough about Inuyasha to risk confronting Pup then the little one's mind had to be quiet a state of dishevel. I Knew them talking it out was going to be the only way to truly aid either of them.

 

* * *

 

(Kouga's POV)

 

I couldn't believe what was happening. Sesshoumaru had all but shoved Inuyasha away with his actions and when he didn't go after him Miroku left the dining hall where Sango and I sat, to go confront the Dai Youkai about his behavior. It was all a lot to take in, in such a short period of time. Some celebration feast. I knew Sesshoumaru had issues with how chummy Inuyasha and Miroku were but I had no idea he had let it get to him as badly as it had. He was obviously more threatened by Miroku than he had ever let on. Hell he walked around the palace most days like nothing in the world could faze him. I guess that just went to show how truly deceiving appearances could be.

 

When Miroku left the dining hall, he looked like death warmed over. I had no idea what was going on in Inuyasha's mind but it must have been hell to listen to. He wasn't gone very long but when he returned to the dining hall, he looked ready to kill something. He promptly asked Sango if it would be okay with her if he asked Kilala to help him search for Inuyasha. She of course agreed and went off to find her feline friend.

 

While she was gone, I asked him what happened between him and Sesshoumaru and he gave me the condensed version of what had taken place and I was shocked at the Youkai Lords reactions. Shocked and pissed. I was not going to pretend that I have always done the right thing in all situations but I really figured Sesshoumaru and I had both learned our lesson last time we let our emotions get the better of us. I knew that I had.

 

As I stood there and watched the Monk fidget impatiently as he waited for Sango to return I desperately wanted to say something to him. I knew the timing was shitty but this may very well be the final straw between Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru and if that was going to be the case I knew that there was a damn good chance the Monk would get his Hanyou after all. The thought of that happening without me ever having told Miroku how I felt about him sat ill with me; in fact it was twisting my stomach into knots.

 

I looked over at Miroku and even in his frazzled and worn state, he looked perfect to me. One look at those beautifully unique eyes that were filled with passion and determination and my mind was made up. He was going to know how I felt about him and he was going to know before he set foot on the Slayer's fire cat.

 

I called his name and he turned those vibrant violet eyes toward me and words failed me so I let action take over. I stepped up to him and before the curious look could even settle on his face I had wrapped one arm around his waist, pulled him to me and brought my lips down upon his. When he gasped in shock, I used the opportunity to deepen the kiss. After a moment, he relaxed and I took that as a good sign. Considering the situation and the fact that for him this came completely out of the blue I figured that was as good as his reaction could possibly get.

 

When we parted, his eyes were glued to mine and as big as saucers. Since he was frozen to, the spot I reached behind his neck to undo the purple strap he had holding his hair back. I loved seeing him with his hair down, especially since he'd decided to let it grow out. He brought his hand up to his lips and just stood there staring at me stuttering. I shook my head and said, “There is no need for you to say anything I just...I couldn't let you leave without letting you know.”

 

He was still standing before me shocked when a soft “ahem” was heard off to the side. We both looked over to find Sango standing there smiling with Kilala in her arms. Once Miroku cleared his throat, the fire cat jumped out of her masters' arms and bounded over to the Monk and transformed. I guessed Sango must have already told her what was going on. Miroku climbed on the neko and before they left, he turned to me and said, “When I return...”

 

I cut him off with a nod in the affirmative, tapped the cat lightly on her rear and they took off to look for our missing friend. When I turned to face Sango she said, “I am proud of you Kouga.”

“I don't see why, it took me long enough.”

“Better late than never my friend.”

 

I smiled at her as I took my own hair tie out and replaced it with the one I snagged from Miroku. She gave me a reassuring nod and asked, “So what do you think will happen now? Did Miroku tell you what took place between him and Lord Sesshoumaru?”

 

I was in the middle of answering her questions when a grief stricken roar rocked through the palace. It echoed like bad omen and when I looked at Sango, she seemed ready to crawl out of her own skin. “This is bad isn't it?” she asked in a quivering voice.

“Yes it is.”

“By the gods what has gotten into Lord Sesshoumaru to make him treat Inu-san the way he did over dinner? They were in such a wonderful mood earlier.”

“Jealousy,” I replied flatly.

She gave me a confused look so I elaborated. “From what I could gather of Miroku's brief explanation of events the Youkai Lord is jealous and reacting to the feeling badly...very badly.”

“I was afraid something like this would come to pass; but never in my wildest dreams would I have ever thought it would have caused all of this madness.”

“That makes two of us. Regardless of how much it pains me to do so I will say I'm not totally surprised. I don't know if you noticed but I noticed things getting friendlier between Inuyasha and Miroku over the past few weeks.”

 

She gave me a sad smile but nodded in the affirmative. “No need to feel sad Sango, it is what it is. I saw the looks of displeasure coming from Sesshoumaru and I wrongfully thought it stopped there. I figured he was content to glare at the pair when they were caught up in their own little world. I had no idea he was taking it this roughly.”

“As you said before, that makes two of us. So now what?”

“We wait. We hope for the best and wait.”

 

She gave a sorrowful sigh and together we walked out of the dining room to do just that.

 

(Inuyasha's POV)

 

I was so hurt and angry I wanted to kill something and my demon side was more than happy to help me fulfill that desire.

 

--...destroy...kill..--

--Uh...what is this other thought or voice I hear Inuyasha?--

--Don't worry about it.--

--Kind of hard not to since it seems a bit preoccupied with killing. I know it seems like a lot to ask but please try to calm down. I am sure Lord Sesshoumaru will explain himself and apologize for his actions.--

--Yeah just like he did last time right? So concerned the first thing he did was lecture me for not gracing him with my presence...thrill of the hunt...Bastard can rot for all I care.--

--You know you don't mean that.--

--You're right and that's what's making this suck even more. He's a total ass to me and I still can't hate him.--

 

This hurt. It hurt a lot and it felt like it was tearing me in two. I was well aware of the fact that I had fucked up. I knew it was probably wrong of me to be undecided about where my emotions stood with Miroku but I didn't deserve to be treated like shit for it. I didn't think a whole hell of a lot of myself but I knew I didn't deserve that. I couldn't help but wonder how he could treat me like that so easily. Am I nothing to him? Did my presence mean so little that he felt like he could treat me however he pleased?

 

--You know that's not true Yash.--

--Bullshit Miroku!--

--Yash, this is not...--

--Not what Miroku? Not as bad as it seems? What a load of horse shit! Wasn't it enough that the last time he pulled this shit I almost died! ...let loose test our new limits...What the hell does he want form me? Fuck this hurts.--

--I know and I'm sorry.--

--...what if sorry was not good enough...what if we want blood in return for our pain...--

--Uh Yash...?--

--...we are no one's toy...--

--I know that and I am sure this will all be straightened out soon.--

--...What if we don't want it fixed...then what little human?...--

--Yash? Inuyasha! Inuyasha, please answer me.--

 

Fuck my head was hurting and I didn't even remember getting to wherever the hell I ended up at. It sounded like Miroku was calling my name way off in the distance. Why the hell did he suddenly sound so far off? Why couldn't he hear me when I answered? That's when it dawned on me that I couldn't really see all that great, actually I was only seeing flashes of my surroundings. I tried changing the direction I was flying in and no response. My damn demon blood was taking over and I had no clue what it had planned.

 

I began trying to focus on answering Miroku so I could let him know I was losing it even though I was pretty sure he had figured that out already. When that didn't work, I began trying to regain control of my actions. I pushed and pushed until my concentration ended up going. Before I knew it, I was falling out of the sky like a stone. I was higher up than I had originally thought because when I fell through some trees the branches cut into my hide like razors. I regained some semblance of control over my demon side just in time to see the ground coming up at me faster than I could react to do anything to stop it.

 

How fucking far up had I been? I wondered because the pain upon impact was unreal and I cried out to the world and in my mind despite myself.

 

--Arrgh! ...holy fuck that hurt.--

--Yash! Yash are you okay!? How far did you fall?- -

--Hell if I know it feels like I fell from the damn moon. - -

--Can you move?--

--I think so. I'm just not brave enough to try it right now. My whole fucking body hurts. But of course I would crash into a mountainside instead of a nice soft grassy field.--

--If you are ok please start making your way back here if you can.--

--I can't do that Miroku. I'm not all together right now and...and…we might decide to make playthings of you all...--

--Understood, if you can, try to stay put okay?--

--I can't promise you anything but I will try.--

--That's all I ask.--

 

That was the last thing I heard from him for a while. I laid there on that mountainside staring up at the star filled night sky in a daze. If it had been under any other circumstances, it would have been charming. As it stood, I was lying there trying to judge how badly I was injured. I moved all of my limbs one at a time and all was going well until I got to my right leg. It hurt and it hurt badly. I struggled to get my wits about me and sit up and the sight that greeted me was not pleasant at all. Apparently it wasn't bad enough for me to crash down on a rocky mountainside I had to land directly on a rock, at least my right leg had.

 

I forced myself to sit up and the pain that rocked up my spine from my leg made my head swim. A few deep breaths and some small movements later I determined that the damn thing wasn't broken but I wasn't going to be running on it anytime soon either.

 

On top of it all the mark on me neck was stinging like an acid burn and every time I touched it I would get an extra dose of Ru's emotions which just served to remind me just how bad I'd fucked up. His emotions were running around in a way I had never seen or felt them do before.

 

When I took a mental tally of all the shit that had taken place since I left Ru's chambers I couldn't believe it. I had managed to cause more problems and discord in that short amount of time than I could ever remember causing in my life. The whole damn situation was just so goddamn surreal I was having a hard time believing it. I was lying there on a mountainside fighting with my inner demon after having a fight with my demon lover while waiting on my best friend and would be lover to find me. All of that was almost too fucking melodramatic even for me.

 

…lay waste to them all…

 

Yeah well that would be all well and good to let you take over that is until I came back to my senses and everyone I loved and that loved me in return was dead.

 

…your thoughts of them loving you…a fantasy…

 

I bared my fangs and snarled at my inner demon as if he were a separate entity standing in front of me. I knew it was a fruitless action but on some level it made me feel better and even though I didn't know how long it was going to last my demon side was still being held somewhat at bay; and at that point somewhat was way better than I thought I would get.

 

…perhaps I am just waiting for that nice little monk of yours to show up…

 

Don't even go there! I screamed and the words echoed off the walls of my mind. Damn my demon side had gotten smart assed over the last couple of years. That wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't gotten more intelligent as well. It was no longer the mindless killing machine blinded by rage. It thought. It plotted and…

 

…you have grown and so have I …I am the you, you wish to be…

 

NO!

 

…yes and one way or another we will play with the Monk…you want this as well… don't deny…

 

Like hell you will!

 

…what's the matter…would you rather I play with your precious Ru?...

 

FUCK YOU!

 

…chose… you know you will have to…

 

You are not running this show I screamed in my mind! I am! Now do us both a favor and FUCK OFF!

 

…get angry…I like you this way…

 

The damnable thing was I knew I was playing right into the hands of my dark side but it was like I couldn't stop. It knew how to push my buttons because no matter how hard I tried to keep us separate we were really one and the same.

 

 

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Please remember to feed the bunny! ^_^

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