InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Falling Stars ❯ Past Lives ( Prologue )

Disclaimer: don't own Inu-Yasha

A/N: This is just an experiment. I really wanted to do an AU and this was what I came up with. I've tried to keep it as historically accurate as possible but it's just a fanfic so I'm not going to worry too much about it. Written for sheer entertainment purposes only. If you have noticed any mistakes though, please feel free to let me know.

Rated R - violence, sexual situations, rape

[kagome/inuyasha, miroku/sango pairing]

Japanese terms:

Oneesan - older sister

Osenko - incense

Okaasan - mother

Honden - main hallway of shrine

Yukata - lighter kimono made of cotton

Hakama - pleated skirt-like pant thing (ie. the pants kikyou wears in the series)

Jii-chan - grandpa

Hai - yes

Miko - Shrine maiden/priestess

Gomen nasai - forgive me

**

-Falling Stars-

Prologue - Past Lives

**

I am now, by most people's standards, a woman. I have crossed that invisible boundary from childish amusements into the restricting refinement of womanly virtue. My life until this point feels separate from my being. It is as though that life was actually lived by someone else. My past has always been a confusing alternation between calm misguidance and sheer chaos.

When I was six years old, I understood nothing about how the world worked. My bright eyes soaked up everything like a sponge and my heart filled with all the joys of innocence like a balloon floating to the sky. Only, I know that balloon must someday fall to the ground and I have been patiently waiting for my heart to do the same.

It is quite funny how my memories work. I cannot remember much about my childhood but what I do remember sticks in my mind in fat clumps just like the sticky rice I eat for dinner. I remember a few days shortly before my sixth birthday as though I live them through again every time I think about them.

I can see the shrine I grew up on as though I were there again. I smell the sweet osenko drifting through my nose just I did the night before my life started to turn upside down. I feel the wood against my palms as I peer in through the cracked door at my oneesan who is kneeled before the altar, saying a short prayer.

I rethink every thought I had in my little head at that moment. I remember that as I watched my oneesan with the utmost fascination, her words about my departed okaasan were the solid truth to me. If today, someone came up to me and managed to prove her words were false, my mind would not change. The things my oneesan said were fact. It was as simple as that.

At the time I understood little about death, but I knew that my okaasan would never return. This is something that would change greatly later in my life. Death would almost become a friend to me. It hurts me now to remember how my oneesan had banned me from the shrine since my mournful tears would only place impurities on the holy grounds. Those words had meant so little to me back then but they mean so much to me now.

At the time, I had dried my tears and put a smile on my face so that I could follow my sister to the shrine once again. Even when I was uninvited I would sneak up the hill from our small house and peak into the Honden to watch my oneesan and memorize her elegant movements.

On one particular night I remember the image of her hands waving out the flame on the osenko. The scene had replayed in my mind as I laid in my futon and tried to sleep. I always slept more soundly knowing that my sister was so powerful. With such small and delicate movements she could replace angry flames with sweet aroma. It was beautiful.

On that particular night, however, I could not sleep. I lay curled in my futon with half of my face buried in the stark white blankets. I watched my oneesan sitting up in her futon across the room as she pulled a burgundy brush through her waist length, smooth black hair. Illuminated only by the orange flecks of light from our small lantern, she was the epitome of everything I wanted to become. I thought that I would be perfectly happy to be only half of what she was.

"Kikyou-Oneesan?" I questioned in the still silence of the night, unable to find sleep through my conscious dreams.

"Kagome-chan… You are still awake?" she answered with her steady warm voice.

"Hai… when will I begin training as a miko?" I asked quietly with my mouth still buried beneath the blanket. I was so anxious that I wanted to begin right then.

I remember an odd expression passing through her gray eyes before she answered my question. "You will not become a miko, Kagome-chan."

At her words, my heart filled with sorrow. I was utterly confused since all the women in our family had been mikos for hundreds of years. It was a Higurashi tradition. My first thought was that I was not actually part of the family. I was suddenly afraid that I was nothing more than a stray dog brought into the family as an unwanted guest. "But why, Kikyou-oneesan" I asked urgently, begging her to tell me my fears were not true.

"It is not a life you need." She answered. "It was `kaasan's wish that you find your own place in the world. I will support her wish. She wanted nothing but happiness for both of us and I feel the same."

"But you get to be a miko, Kikyou-Oneesan. I want to be one too" I whined, unconvinced by her explanation.

She smiled faintly and allowed a small giggle to escape her lips. "You will understand when you are older, Kagome-chan." Her smile faded before she continued. "There is no freedom in being a miko. You live to serve others and you are told how to feel. I would never wish for your feelings to be dominated by anyone or anything. You should live and let your emotions dominate you… that is how humans should live."

"Then why did you become a miko?" I asked, even more confused by her words.

"I sacrificed my life to maintain this shrine. It was my choice and mine alone. I did it so you would not have to." She continued as I felt her voice grow distant.

"Are you unhappy, oneesan?" I asked. I had not considered that she was truly unhappy. I merely wanted to prove a point. I wanted to show that I could be happy too.

Her voice was quiet and strained when she finally answered. "I chose this life and I do not regret it."

As young as I was, something in her voice twisted my heart but she turned and blew out the lantern before I could ask any more questions. "Now, Kagome-chan, it's late. You should get some sleep."

"'Kay." I whispered, and turned away from her to let sleep return me to pleasant dreams.

As soon as I awoke, I leapt from my futon and shed my thin sleeping robe to replace it with my favorite rose-colored summer yukata. I secured it tightly with a yellow cord and bolted from my bedroom, leaping over my oneesan's folded futon as I flew through the doorway. I scurried down the hallway and passed behind Jii-chan as he sipped warm tea on in the courtyard.

"Kagome-chan! You have work to do today!" I heard him call to me as soon as he heard my bare feet patting against the wooden floor.

"Hai, Jii-chan!" I yelled absently, more concerned with my new mission

I raced up the hill as fast as I could while my sandals smacked against my feet. By the time my short legs carried me to the top, my hair was disheveled and my yukata had become spotted with droplets of water along the hem where it had rubbed against the dew-covered grass. I ignored the distractions as best as I could and hurried underneath the bright red Torii. I slowed my pace as I neared the Honden so that my oneesan would not hear my approaching. I stopped and washed my hands in the cool fountain and I rushed on my way.

I knelt down and crawled through the grasses along the outer wall of the Honden. As I crawled forward on my hands and knees, my yukata caught on small branches and burrs imbedded themselves into the pink cotton. Finding a comfortable place I put my ear against the wood to see if I could hear my oneesan working inside.

For a moment all I could hear was the low chirping of cicadas in the nearby trees. I was surprised when I suddenly heard angry shouts to my left. The sounds were too muffled from where I sat crouched against the side of the building, so I crawled across the small garden until I could peak around the corner.

My eyes widened at the scene before me. I felt panic deep within my stomach when I saw my oneesan blocking the doorway to the main hallway with a large bow and arrow poised in her thin arms. I had scene her use the bow before in practice but I had never considered she actually used it seriously. My first instinct was to run away, but I stayed entranced by the scene playing out before me.

Several yards in front of her stood an angry looking man. Knowing full well it was unwise to talk to strangers; my heart started to pump wildly in my chest. This man was a stranger and he looked somehow backward to me.

He had long black hair that hung wildly about his frame, reaching below his hips. He wore a bright red haori that reminded me of the blood I'd seen pour from a wound on my side when I had fallen onto a sharp rock. What worried me more, however was the black hakama that secured a sheathed katana at his waist.

I felt a sudden surge of fear, unlike anything I had ever felt at the sight of that one object. We kept a holy sword in our shrine with the other sacred objects I rarely was able to see. I had only seen that particular object from a distance and it was much more threatening in the grasp of a person. I knew little about swords but I did know they were illegal. This man standing before my oneesan was a criminal.

Right then I said a silent prayer for my sister. I was so afraid that this man would kill her. Even if she was one of the greatest archers in the village, this unknown man frightened me. I almost didn't notice when he turned and met my frightened eyes.

I still remember his eyes so clearly. They were rich blue and stormy. I had always been complimented for my own blue eyes since they are rare among Japanese people. However, my eyes were more gray than blue, just like my oneesan's. His were bright and fiery. I felt as though he was looking through me.

"What? You're afraid to kill me when the little wench is watching?" his harsh voice suddenly sounded as he turned back to my oneesan.

My lungs stung as I held all of my air inside. My senses weren't working right. I wanted to cry and scream and wake up from the nightmare.

"I'm asking you to leave, Inu Yasha." My oneesan's voice resounded.

I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face. I was so certain that I would die at that moment. My tears left trails down my legs where I rested my head. I didn't hear the footsteps as they walked away and I didn't hear my oneesan as she neared my side.

"Kagome-chan, I am sorry. You do not need to be afraid."

I felt soothed by her comforting voice, but all my fears were still bubbling just below my skin. My heart was still pounding heavily against my chest.

"Why was that man here? He wanted to hurt you!"

"You don't need to worry about him." She said, running a hand through my hair "He just wanted the Shikon no Tama."

I frowned at her words. The Shikon no Tama was just a charm. It was not even a pretty charm. It was big and bulky, nothing like the popular western jewelry I loved to look at when we went in to town. Its color was even dull from years of dust, being left in the shrine for so long. As a charm it was even more worthless. Copies could easily be made and my Jii-chan had done just that many times to raise extra money for our living expenses.

She smiled at me. "The jewel is said to hold many powers. Many people want it to use those powers so that they may compensate for some unbalance in their life." I looked at her in utter confusion. She glanced to the distance and the breeze fluttered through her hair. "That man… I think something must have happened to him to make his soul lose balance. He is not a bad person, so you need not worry." She finished and patted my back reassuringly.

"But he had a sword!" I yelled in desperation. I wanted my oneesan to understand.

"Hai, Kagome-chan. But he had never once pulled it from its sheathe when he was around me. If he wanted to hurt me he would have tried. You see?"

I nodded but I still didn't understand.

"But I would like to know why you are sneaking around the shrine." My oneesan asked sternly.

I looked at the ground and studied my toes smudged with dirt. My hands nervously fell to my side where I played with loose strings on my yukata.

"I've told you not to come here without me. It is not a place for children to play." She said and I caught the undertones of severe disappointment in her words.

"Gomen nasai, Kikyou-oneesan. I wanted to watch you." I said.

"You can't." Kikyou said, pulling me to my feet. "Now go back and help Jii-chan with the chores. We'll talk about this later tonight."

I nodded faintly and she patted my back. I felt her eyes on my back as I headed down the hill. I dreaded the household chores and my young mind quickly forgot of the man with his murderous sword. As I reached the front of our house I noticed someone standing in the dirt pathway.

It was a tall man. He stared at me with a cold expression and chills cascaded down my spine. He wore a western style suit and it frightened me more than anything else did. Our village was small and simple. The only people who wore those odd clothes were foreigners or military leaders. He was definitely Japanese so I could only assume he was part of the military. I squeaked and ran into the yard.

I ran into my Jii-chan as I sprinted toward the house. My heart was just embarking on a wild ride that would last for years to come. For the time though, I forgot about the tall man as well.

I spent most of the day rambling to Jii-chan about simple matters. As I swept the yard I started to talk about the morning's events. I told him how Kikyou was in a standoff with the man over the Shikon no Tama. I noticed his expression change slightly and for a moment I thought he was mad at me. The way his lips pressed together and his eyebrows pulled tightly together as though the gap between them had never existed was an expression that was usually followed by yelling.

"I want you to go find Kikyou." Jii-chan said firmly as he stood and removed the broom from my hand.

"But Jii-chan… she said that she does not want me there."

"That's crazy talk! She just doesn't want you tripping up her feet while she tries to work." My Jii-chan answered. "It's almost evening and she did not come here for lunch. She's only one woman. She can't defend herself against all kinds of demons!"

"Demons?!" I exclaimed becoming bewildered at his words. "There is no such thing!"

Jii-chan lightly thumped me on my forehead with his index finger. "There certainly are! Demons after the sacred jewel, the Shikon no Tama! They must have found out we have it and that's why they're here now!"

"Jii-chan! That's stupid! I saw the man who tried to steal it and he was no demon!" I insisted. "If there were demons I would have seen one by now!"

"Don't be so sure!" He said and he shoved me towards the gate. "Go and find your sister!"

I sighed heavily and ran up the hill one again. I quickly reached the shrine but found my oneesan nowhere in sight. My heart heaved heavily in my chest. The longer I searched the more convinced I became that Kikyou had indeed been eaten by demons. I screamed her name but heard no response.

"Kikyou-oneesan!"

I ran around the grounds and had almost given up hope when I saw someone on the opposite side of the hill, facing the sunset. I felt relief well up inside of me and I started to run towards her. In my hurry, I stumbled down the hill to my sister. I stopped suddenly when I realized my oneesan was not alone. She was sitting with the scary man.

I ducked down behind the brush and wondered why Kikyou would be talking to a man who had tried to steal one of the charms. I got to my feet and once again raced down the hill in order to save my sister, only to trip and tumble in their general direction.

Before I was able to realize what had happened, I felt myself stopped. I was staring up at the top of the hill and I struggled to regain my breath. I peered over my shoulder to see whom had their hands pressed against my back to prevent me from falling to my death. It was none other than the scary man.

"Stupid little girl." He muttered angrily.

I sat wordless for a long moment without moving out of the man's grasp. Then I screamed. I screamed until I thought my lungs would burst. I was barely aware that I was suddenly dropped to the ground unceremoniously. I kept my eyes shut until I felt a much gentler hand on my shoulder.

"Kagome-chan, are you okay?" my oneesan asked with her perfected controlled and concerned voice.

I nodded faintly and averted my eyes while she pushed up my sleeves to look for any injuries. I clenched my eyes shut and tried to ignore the pain as her fingers brushed against my bruised skin.

"You have quite a few small cuts but you will be fine. You are very lucky." She continued as she helped me off the ground. I heard the words leave her mouth but they fell to ground at my feet where I was too lazy to reach for them. "Why were you in such a hurry?"

I heard that last sentence. I wiped away the tears that studded my red cheeks and let every one of my fears tumble from my lips without thinking about them as they came out. "Jii-chan sent me. He said demons had come after you! I thought that the man was a demon! I was scared oneesan!"

She simply smiled at me. "You do not need to worry so much. He is not a demon at all. He is human just as you and I."

"You're sure?" I asked, bringing my eyes up to meet hers. "Jii-chan says that demons are the ones who want the Shikon no Tama."

"Yes, I'm sure. His name is Inukai Yasushi and he has no home. Do you know what that would be like, Kagome-chan?"

**

At the time, I had no idea what that would be like. I had a home. I had my oneesan and Jii-chan. My family. Fate, however, thought differently. When my oneesan and me returned to our house that night, Jii-chan was gone. I still don't know where he went. He might be alive somewhere and he might not. Either way, I haven't seen him.

Kikyou promised to raise me, but fate intervened again. Our shrine was set on fire a month later. Kikyou and I had gone to the market to purchase rice and tofu and our home was in flames when we returned.

From that point on, I had no home. A neighbor took in Kikyou and me but times grew tough. The government wanted to turn our village into a booming merchant city. The family we were staying with became worried that they would lose their home unless they came up with some quick money.

So Kikyou and I were sold. I honestly don't know what became of our village. The day we were taken away was the last time I saw that place.

Though much of the time we spent living with the neighbor is a blur to me, I remember the day we left. I remember lying awake in my futon as I listened to the wind rattle against the walls. My oneesan had tapped me on the shoulder and I turned around to look at her.

"Kagome-chan" she whispered. "Tomorrow we will go on a big trip, okay? We're going to go see all of Japan! Be sure and get lots of sleep."

I smiled at her words. Had I been older I might have heard the sadness and worry that coated her voice. I might have seen her eyes looking far older than her 16 years. I might have seen the creases in her perfect skin as she forced a smile to her lips.

But being a little girl, I missed all of that. All I caught was the trip we would be taking. I had always wanted to travel so badly! I always wondered what lay outside our little village!

That night I had pleasant dreams. I believe I must have been laughing through my sleep. I was so excited. I woke up at various intervals during the night. The last time, I turned to ask my sister some questions about our trip but I found her futon empty. I simply assumed she had gone outside and went back to sleep.

That morning the youngest daughter of the family we were staying with woke me up. She was around twelve and she was plump like a dumpling. I can't remember her name but I remember the rosy color had faded from her round cheeks that morning. The cloudy sky allowed no sunlight to warm it up either. I started to worry because it was the first time my sister had not waken me. I became more worried as I stepped over her futon. It still lay on the ground like an unwrapped present where she had left it the night before.

When I walked into the main room I saw her sitting in a chair across from an old man. The man was sipping tea and I recall that his hands were bony and thin, reminding me of chicken legs. I looked at my sister to question the situation but she did not look my way. She was pale and her cheeks were shimmering with fresh tears. She kneeled on the ground, her skin almost matching her white yukata. She looked as though she were a ghost.

After a small breakfast, the man put us in a carriage and we were sent to the city. My oneesan did not speak a word to me for the entire trip and I was too afraid to ask any questions.

It was the first time I had been inside one of the fancy town carriages. They always carried important people, but I didn't feel important that day. Every moment of the trip I felt as though I were getting closer to some inevitable doom.

**